Speaking isn’t about saying the right words. It’s about making people feel you. When I sat down with Michele Vilseck, she showed me how her RAW method—Real, Audacious, Withness—can transform the way we show up on stage, on video, or even in a simple conversation.

We talked about why nerves often get in the way, how to flip the focus from yourself to your audience, and why practice beats perfection every time. Michele shared simple structures that make your message stick, and she even offered a fun 100-video challenge that builds confidence faster than any script. If you’ve ever wondered how to sell without feeling salesy or speak without losing your spark, this is one you won’t want to miss.

Highlights:

Real > Performance - Learn how aligning voice, values, and story makes you magnetic without memorizing every line.

Audacity Builds Trust - See how specific, felt details and safe vulnerability deepen connection and make talks unforgettable.

Withness, Not Witness - Shift focus from “How am I doing?” to “What do they need right now?” to calm nerves and sell naturally.

Speak to One, Win Many - Use workshops and stages to remove pressure from 1:1 pitching and invite the right people to act.

Structure That Sticks - Open with “Is this for me?”, then show the transformation, the how, and why it will work for them.

Connect with Michele:

Website: https://signaturestages.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michele-vilseck/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelevilseck

In appreciation for being here, I have some gifts for you:

A LinkedIn Checklist for setting up your fully optimized Profile:

An opportunity to test drive the Follow Up system I recommend by checking this presentation page - you won’t regret it. 

AND … Don’t forget to connect with me on LinkedIn and be eligible for my complimentary LinkedIn profile audit – I do one each month for a lucky listener!

Connect with me:

http://JanicePorter.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/janiceporter/

https://www.facebook.com/janiceporter1

https://www.instagram.com/socjanice/

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Stick it. Hello everyone, and welcome to this

week's episode of relationships rule today. My guest is Michelle

Vilsack, a celebrity speaker coach, certified elite speaker

and unapologetic champion of bold, Messier, more honest

voices. She's known for helping athletes, heart centered

entrepreneurs and thought leaders turn their stories into

movements by training them to captivate from the stage,

connect with their audience and convert with authenticity.

Michelle is the creator of the raw method and the go to coach

for speakers who want to be unforgettable and unstoppable.

And in this episode, we'll explore how much, how speaking

from a place of authenticity and connection can build trust,

drive results and create meaningful relationships long

after the lights go down. So welcome to the show, Michelle,

thank you. Janice, thanks so much for

having me on my

pleasure. And Michelle and I haven't known

each other that long we met online, on in a Zoom Room

somewhere, and not long ago, but I understood, and I think that's

what perked my my curiosity piqued my curiosity when

Michelle mentioned that she was looking for people to have

guests on her podcast who she trains and teaches to speak from

stages. And I always like to help people do such things and

work with young athletes or athletes and young

entrepreneurs. So I thought I'd start by talking to Michelle and

seeing how she works her magic and go from there. So let's,

let's just start with your journey. Michelle, how did you

go from health coach and rebel with a cause to coaching high

performance speakers and and athletes?

Yeah, I think, like a lot of us, whenever we

start our business, it's your journey that gets you here. And

then people are telling you, you know, especially coaches, right?

People are saying, Oh, wow, how did you do that? Can you teach

me how to do that? And they're asking you for advice. You start

helping people, and then then you jump in and you think, Oh,

I'll be a coach, right? Like, I'll do this. And that's a whole

nother tangent. We won't go down right, but jump in right, and

you think this is gonna be great. This would be so easy

that, yeah, so that's, that's what happened to me. I had a 20

year, but I just when I was very, very young, I had major

digestive issues, and just a whole story going there where I

had so many food sensitivities, I could only five things at one

point on my list. It was really awful. But then I reversed all

that through food and stuff. So people were asking me about it.

I became a health coach. And as I became a health coach, kind of

going back to what I was saying, I thought, Yes, I'm just gonna,

you know, if you build it, they will come. People are already

asking me, of course, they're gonna want to ping me to help

them do this. And then you quickly realize that you don't

know what you're doing, and there's so much noise online.

And so really, what got me into speaking I was talking to one of

my coaches, and I was just getting so frustrated doing all

these things that I hated, right? Just all day long,

posting, you know, spamming people in their DMS, and hunting

people on Facebook and doing all these things that they're like,

she's like, You have to be on Facebook, and you have to do it

this way to be successful. And so that's just, I just bought

into a lot of that. And finally, I just set an exasperation one

day to my coach, also, in an opening moment of I just want to

do workshops. I just want to teach people. And I know you're

a teacher, too. Janice said that, you know, I just want to

teach people. I want to help people. I want to be doing the

thing that I came here to do, teach people what I know. And

she just looked at me and she said, why don't you do that

then? Oh, yeah, why don't I do that? Right? And so that's kind

of how the journey began. And then I ended up teaching other

people how to be a speaker.

And we do learn from our mistakes and from our

trial and error, and we have to go through that, I think in

order to be who we want to be. I do believe that. And I think the

beauty, though, of the way you started with that naivety that

you know, of doing it and believing somebody else's way

was your way, and it really wasn't, and all of that, I

think, though your enthusiasm was great. And I think

entrepreneurs tend to do that. They just jump out there and do

it, instead of putting all the ducks in a row first, and, you

know, trying to plan it forever, and nothing happens for so long

that you get discouraged, so I I admire your enthusiasm and and

so forth that you had when you started, because I think this is

important. I really do. I think that's how we learn.

Yeah, and I think. It is kind of a pattern

that we have as entrepreneurs, because I think in those

beginning stages, you do have such, like you said, enthusiasm,

optimism, you're excited to share, you're really in the lane

that you're best suited to be in, and you're so in

authenticity about who you are and what you're going to do. And

then we jump into the world of business, and everybody tells

us, yeah, like, you need to be on Facebook, you have to be on

social media. You have to do this to succeed. The one that I

recently overcome lately was you have to learn how to sell like.

You have to be the one that sells your program, right? You

can't have anyone else sell your program. That doesn't work. And

I was like, but other people are clearly having other people sell

their program, right? But anyway, so then I think, then we

get lost. We lose ourselves, because everybody's telling us,

this is what you do, and kind of lose yourself. And I'm always

joke that I got my MBA in marketing right, because you

have to learn how to market and just sales and all the things,

and then we lose ourselves. And really, you stop being magnetic,

and you stop being authentic, and then you're working really

hard, and it's not working, because now you're out of

alignment, which I think we're going to talk more about with,

you know, with your voice and everything, right?

So let's just you mentioned selling. So I want to

just ask you, you say selling should feel like a party, not a

panic attack, and what do you mean by that, and why does that

idea resonate with your clients?

Yeah, that? Yeah, because I love that,

because that was what I was experiencing, right? I just felt

like I was literally having panic attacks messaging people

on Facebook. I'm actually a very whenever I love people, and when

I go to networking events in person, I'm talking to

everybody. If you're there, Janice, I'm listening to you.

I'm asking you questions. I'm so excited about your thing with

you, you know, like, I just love meeting people. But whenever it

was on Facebook, they're like, you have to go on Facebook and

you have to message this many people, and then you want to

build the relationship, and then, and it just felt like,

well, it was just really inauthentic to me. And I just

felt like, Oh, I'm here to get something from them, and so it's

just, it's that yucky sales feeling, and I was literally

having panic attacks. I would just be at the end of the day.

And I think that's kind of, it's like the extreme way of saying

how a lot of heart centered entrepreneurs and coaches really

feel. Because again, you came into this to teach people, to

help people, and then, then, whenever we hear sales, we feel

like, Oh, you have to manipulate people in order for them to say

yes. And it feels yucky. And when we can combine that

original energy of Oh, enthusiasm and excitement with

an actual sales pro, like a sales process that works, and

you don't have to get out of that energy in order to do it,

then people will say yes, because you're both in alignment

and you're you're helping them get the information that they

need in order to make the buying decision.

Well, I think part of the the disconnect comes

though too, when we when we, when we're hungry, and when we,

when we focus on that, you know, the limited beliefs and also on

I need to make the sale. But if you go into the conversation

completely curious and just trying to find out about people

and not focusing on that, it makes it so much easier, right?

And it's funny, because I tend to, well, I'll give you an

example. I got a LinkedIn message this morning, and it had

a photo in it of a card that I sent somebody, and she was

saying, Thank you for it, and she was commenting on it for her

audience about the value of sending a card, and there were a

lot of comments on her post. She had a lot of activity happening

and engagement. Now, I haven't done anything with it yet, but

my first thought is, oh my goodness, these people are

either interested in in sending cards, and maybe would be

interested in my system that I use, right, whatever. But then I

back off in my mind and I go, Yeah, but I can't sell them. I

can't be pushy in the comments that I make. So I have to think

about this before I do it. And, you know, so there's always this

push and pull and sort of like, don't be salesy, be

conversationalist and so on. So if, first, I think, is be aware

of that, right? You must be aware of that. And second, then

you must it must be a natural kind of thing that happens to

make it work.

Yes, because, I think, because, yeah, we do have

to pay our bills and we have to eat. You know, there are things

that we need. Did, there's things we need money to live. So

I think it is easy to get back kind of flip flop and not be as

focused on because really sales happen when you are genuine and

you are serving and you are connecting from that really

authentic place. But it is hard to get out. I mean, it's, it's

hard to kind of stay in that all the time, like you're saying,

you can flip back into, oh my gosh, I don't want to sell them

and with the speaking space. So for me, I realized that sales is

actually easy for me, one when I do it, one to many. So like,

literally, I'm saying, create a party, because just for my

personality, and I find for a lot of my clients as well, it

just, it doesn't feel like sales when it's party. It doesn't feel

like sales whenever you're teaching. And then it doesn't it

takes the pressure off of this one person. I need this one

person to say, yes, yeah, because there's 20 people,

there's 100 people in the room, and some of these people want

what I have, and I'm gonna talk to them, and then if they don't

like if they don't like it, or they don't want it, they'll

leave, and I'll just be sitting here with the people that do

want it. And so for me, it opens up. It's just easier. And I find

with my clients as well, it's just easier to think about it

that way, that there's just the audience, but I think that can

be applied when you have one on one conversations as well.

I think so too. All right, so what exactly is

the raw method, and how does it help speakers build trust with

their audience from the stage?

Yes, so yeah. So I came up with a raw method,

because I love speaking, but I know, and have you been to but

you know, there's a lot of speakers out there. Okay, I'm

gonna, I'm gonna be nice, but, you know, there's a lot of

speakers out there. But I like to use the analogy of like Tiger

Woods. And just because your grandpa's been golfing for 20

years. Doesn't mean he's Tiger Woods. And so there's there's

you, and there's your passion and your and your energy and how

you speak to people in the story that you have. And then there's

also skills that you can add on top of that that are going to

take you to a new level, where, where you'll be able to really

connect with people and be a master at speaking. And whenever

I work with my clients, so many of them want to be on paid

stages. They want to be on the big stages. They want to have

their own conferences, and you have to be that next level

speaker in order to do that, because nobody's going to want

to invite you back if you're kind of mediocre speakers and

but to be a good speaker doesn't mean okay, you have to do this

that you know, just like I was having trouble whenever I became

a coach. There's not one rote prescription of you have to do

it this way, you have to get on Facebook, you have to do cards,

you have to speak, right? There's not one way. It's going

to be your way. And so the raw method is just really three

principles that I came up with that can really apply to

everyone, and honestly, they apply to speaking, but they also

apply to relationships as well, to just really help you become

your most authentic self on stage in a way that resonates

with the audience the deepest. So to give you a quick example,

I don't know if you've ever watched the voice, yes. So if

for any audience members who are listening who don't know that

voice is a show, kind of like America's Got Talent, or they

used to have another, you know, American Idol. American Idol,

yeah, so it's a singing competition. But I love watching

it, because every single singer has a totally different voice,

and then they have a totally different genre and a

personality. And so people, there'll be rappers and country

and folksy and, you know, heavy metal, they've got all kinds of

people on there, but the one who wins is the one who is the most

confident as themselves, right? The one who really finds who

they are and becomes their most authentic self on stage, and

then is is willing to open up and be confident as that version

of themselves. And they also have skills, of course, but but

like, that's the one that wins. It doesn't matter what genre

they have or what how they do it, they're the winners. So a

quick rundown of the raw. It's real. The R stands for real, so

being authentically yourself, which we've talked about that a

lot already in this conversation of you just people aren't going

to resonate with you if you're off, if you're saying things

that don't actually align with you and your values. And I kind

of have sub things under here that I talk about in more

detail, but it really comes down to, yeah. Yeah, your values. Are

you in alignment with your values and your voice? You know,

I recently started taking this DJ training, and you do a lot of

em seeing and stuff. And the guy who's training me is this really

tall black man with a very deep voice, and he has, like this

romantic MC voice,

that very white type voice.

And so I was listening to him, but I was

realizing

this is you.

His is like the soothing, you know, romantic

vibe, really, and mine, as we know, is just like, it's more

energetic, and I'm just happy, and it's party, and it's

energetic and and it's not that, and it's not going back to the

voice. It's not bad or good, but it's just, and if I try to be

that, it's not gonna people. So that's the raw, um, audacious.

The a is, is stands for audacious. And by that I mean

courage having having courage to go places that people aren't

willing to go and be with people and to sit with them in places

that you wouldn't normally go as well. So for an example, I see

speaker a lot of one of the biggest things that hold

speakers back from really connecting with their audience,

and this is true in relationships, is that

vulnerability, right of being able to open up, and so they'll

be telling their story, and it might be a really traumatic or

it might be an incredible, amazing story, but I I like to

say it's kind of like they're skipping across the water.

They're just telling you about what happened, and it was so

hard. And, you know, I was like, I was abused when I was a child,

and it was so hard, and then I struggled for a long time with

this. And then I, you know, but they're just giving the overall

surface summary, surface level. And instead of going into that

moment with you, because the point was you had real struggles

and real emotions in those moments, right? And so when I

was a health coach, I helped people stop over eating, because

I struggled with that a lot. And I would on my events, I would

take them back there to that place of at the end of the day,

when you just ate that whole entire tub of ice cream, and

you're sitting there on the kitchen floor hiding from your

kids because you don't want them to know and you don't want them,

right? You feel like you, you're ashamed and you don't want them

to be like you, and you're sitting there and just feeling

like a total piece of trash, promising yourself that you're

never gonna do it again. But you know that tomorrow, you're gonna

wake up and do the same thing, right? And so I could tell you

that story surface level and say, Oh yeah, every night I was

eating, or I can take you there, and we can feel the emotions

that were on the floor together, and you're feeling the shame of

trying to hide something from your kids, but just, you know,

all of that, it just that's where the connection really

happens, And the vulnerability and the trust is built by going

there, but you also feel safe there knowing that I know what's

going on, and then I'm going to bring it back out.

Yeah, that that is an art, for sure, to do that

and be able to do it well. But you know that when you do

something like that, you have the audience in the palm of your

hand. That's the beauty, you know, that takes me back to a

story, actually, that it's like, totally removed from what you

were talking about. But I remember this feeling, and it

was when I was teaching school, and I had, I think I was

teaching grade, third grade at the time, and I read the story

to them every day, the chapter book Charlie and the Chocolate

Factory. And I never liked that movie. I only loved the book.

And the reason I loved the book was because at the end of every

chapter, you had the audience begging for more, and reading

aloud was so much fun to kids, and you knew at the end of the

chapter, you didn't know what was going to happen to Veronica

salt, or Veruca Salt, I mean, or, or Augustus Gloop, and when

he got stuck in the pipe, sorry. And, and you had them, no, can't

tomorrow's another day. We'll do the next chapter, but you had

them begging for more, and that is such a powerful feeling when

you're speaking or reading aloud that it feels really good that

you got them to that place, right. And so, yeah, I don't

know that I've had that feeling as much when I'm speaking on

stage, because I'm more nervous. When I'm speaking on stage, but

I think if I've been doing a workshop or teaching a group of

people, then I'm in I felt more in control. Oh, my God, sorry.

And now I've lost my train of thought. Anyway. Okay, so

I have a response to that, because it

goes, it goes with the W, actually, and I, and it's kind

of hard to say, but the W is withness, yes, witness, but with

this. And it's actually a real word, I didn't realize, but

I'm also I didn't either, yeah,

but I'm always telling my people, you need to

be over there with them. You know you're not whenever you

talked about being, you know, I'm a little bit embarrassed

whenever I'm on stage, but when I'm in a workshop, I feel like

have more control. I think part of it also is because, you know,

for people who are nervous on stage, especially when it comes

to sales, too, you're pitching your products. All of that. It

comes from being over here with you instead of over there with

them. And what I mean by that is we're over here in our head. Oh

no, am I gonna say the wrong thing? Are they gonna like me?

Did I say that? Right? Did I said, um, too many times,

whatever people are counting there. But it's all about you.

It's all about you and your worries about what other people

are thinking or how you're doing, and so you're over here

with yourself and energetically, whenever we're over there with

them, they can tell so that's what I meant. Yeah, I can't hear

okay, so what you were saying, Janice, actually brings us to

withness, which is a real word. It's a real word, but I'm always

saying that whenever I'm talking to my speakers, I'm always

saying, be over there with them. Be with them. Don't be with you.

So whenever we're speaking, a lot of times we get nervous

because, but it's because we're with us,

right? Oh, that's so, yeah, perfect.

Perfect. Again, yes, yeah. So I'm over here

worried about, what am I going to say? What are they going to

think about me? How, you know, Did I, did I say? Um, too many

times. Are they going to buy all those things, and it's all about

you, and you're over here with you, and that's when you make

all the mistakes, because you're in your head right over there

with them. And I think that's why workshops feel better for

you. One of the reasons probably with them, you're engaging with

them, you're over there with them, and then there, and your

care is there. And whenever that happens, they can tell. And so

when you genuinely care about them and you're thinking about

them instead of you, they can tell. They can feel it. It comes

off in your languaging. And really, I remember recently

going to a conference and listening to this amazing woman.

She was like, hitting she had all the skills I was like,

checking them off, taking notes. She was amazing, and she had a

really powerful speech as well. But actually, my favorite

speaker of that night was not a good speaker, but what he was

good at was being with the audience, and you could tell

that he just cared about us so much, and he responded to the

audience. He didn't have his speech prepared very well, or he

didn't have a speech at all. Actually, he was just an expert,

and then he was there to teach off of the crowd, more like a

workshop would be. And I just value that so much. And your

audience values it so much because they can tell, yeah,

well,

it's funny. I remember, I don't know if I was

doing an on in person or online presentation, but somebody said

to me after I can sure tell that you love your granddaughter so

much, because you light up when you tell stories about her,

right? And it's true. And so when you feel comfortable and

you again, are sharing something that you're so passionate about,

it works. And you're most comfortable talking about too,

right? So yeah, so I noticed it most with that. So it's good,

it's really good. But you definitely hit the nail on the

head when you said, I like that word now witness, because you

need to be with them and not so focused on yourself. And that's

true to true to point. It's funny. My daughter called me

yesterday. She's doing a big presentation today as we speak,

and I'm thinking, good vibes for her, but she's an actress, and I

said, she said, I keep stumbling on this piece she read. She did

the intro for me and the and the wrap up. And I said, it's great,

Sarah. I said, You did amazing. She said, But I keep I said, you

know, when you get on stage, you'll be fine, because that's

when you shine, right? And she's your ad,

because you're thinking about them. And,

yeah, so it that's so cool. I. Um, I don't

know, though, in my in my later years, I don't remember things

as well as I used to, and so memorizing doesn't work for me.

And so I have to feel like I have to talk about something

uncomfortable talking about so I don't have to worry about that.

Yes, absolutely, yeah. And I've

worked with several people that have different styles, but I've

noticed that, you know, everyone does have different styles. I

had someone who would write every single thing out and

memorize it all, but and it and it works, because for some

people, they can also be present, even though they have

it memorized, but I'm with you. Sometimes I have it memorized,

and then it's almost like you're reading it in your head, and

you're trying not to mess up. And then you're again, you're

Oh, you're over here, and they can feel it. That's right,

instead of, okay, here's my outline. And so I teach my my

people, a framework. Here's the framework, here's the acronyms,

or, you know, here's your acronym, or here's the four

things that is part of your process, and then this is how

you're going to share it, so that they get, that people get

all the information that they need for a transformation. For

you, that's

good. That's really good. So how do you coach

athletes? We talked about athletes when we first met who?

Who athletes are used to performance, but maybe not

public. Speaking to speak. How do you get them to speak in a

way that feels authentic and natural? I'm pretty sure what

you're going to start by saying, but I'd like to hear from you.

They're actually so fun to work with

because they already have a lot of the they've already been

through a lot of the mindset stuff to get to where they're

at, and they understand how to calm their mind and how to have

a goal and how to show up and practice. And there's so many

amazing skills that they have that really translate over into

successful speaking and not to mention all of their stories and

their experiences that come with that journey. Yeah?

So stories. I can see them having, but I can also

see some of them being very introverted or shy,

yeah, yeah. Oh, absolutely. Some of them are,

yeah. And I think with introverts, that actually

happens a lot. You know what? I think a lot of great speakers

are introverts, because because of the raw principles, honestly,

because they listen better, because they don't talk as much,

and because they're used to being with people, they do tend

to be really amazing speakers, and so it's just about helping

them realize that and keep their focus in the right place. But

with speakers specifically, yeah, we just, I just teach

them. This is for everyone as well, though. To to go from

whatever you're doing to be a speaker, if you just understand

a few skills, then you suddenly go from being a mediocre speaker

to an amazing speaker. And with that, I think the structure is

very important. Like we talked about, people want to hear

things in a certain order that their brain understands them and

digestible. So I'll give you an example whenever people and this

is true of any speech, no matter what length it is. When people

hear you, the first thing they're thinking is, is this for

me? What's this going to do for me? Right? And so they're

looking of what's the topic, What's she talking about or he,

right? And so they really want to hear a story from you that

says, here's the transformation, right?

Because we're a transferee. Is that what you're

saying?

Yeah, usually it happens to you. It could be

any story, though, but they just want to. They need that. They

need the question answered. Yeah, is it for me? Does this

apply to me? Does this even apply to me? Do I even care

about this, right? And if they do. You know, with my story that

I shared earlier, I was overeating, right? So if I'm

sharing my overeating story and I take you down there, well I

call it the hell, like I take you to hell, right? If I take

you to hell with me, you know, I know. And if you're struggling

with that, you're like, wow, she gets me. She understands. And so

then if I tell you, Okay, I came back out now, you're like, Yes,

this is for me, because I am struggling with the same thing,

and I've had the same thoughts, and she's made it out. So now

I'm leaned in, and I want to hear more. So for whatever it is

that you help people with, right? You want to, you want to

answer that question so that they stick with you. And then

the next question that they have in their minds is, how? How do

you do that? Then, right? And so if you'd set it up until your

the transformation, and then you then you want to answer the how

of specifically, what did you do? And a lot of people in the

sales speaking space will say, don't share the how do you guys?

I. Have you ever heard that where they like don't share the

what don't or just tell them what don't tell them, because if

you tell them too many things, they're going to leave they're

not going to buy from you. But that's not entirely true,

because they're not going to buy from you if they don't know how,

they're not going to want to listen to you anymore, if,

because, if the reason they're looking at you and saying and

listening to you is because they haven't found the solution yet,

and so they're listening to see, have I tried this already, and

is it something that I want to try? Does it align with me?

Right? Because there's a lot of when I was going through my

health journey, I went plant based. But a lot of people don't

want to go plant based. They want to keep eating meat. So if

I'm going to tell people my How is plant based, a lot of them

are going to leave right go look for somebody else. So if they

want to know how, and then beyond that, the next question

you want to answer is, is it going to work for me? Which

there's a lot of other questions, depending on what

your what your topic is, but that would be the basic

structure. So that's the, that's the first thing I'd say that

separates you from an average speaker, is that you're able to

easily walk them through that experience.

And I guess you want to separate them. You want

the one, right? You want those that aren't your people to not

be around you. Want your people to be there. That's, that's

really all you're looking for, right? So it, I think it's worth

it to Yeah. And then the other piece that you just mentioned

about the how, yes, I think we all, not. We all. A lot of

people live in that fear that if you tell them how to do it, that

then they don't need you. I think they need you more once

they know and you they agree with your how, right? Right?

Then they want the support and the help and the hand holding

from you around

that. Well, yes. And there's always going to

be some people that want to do it on their own, and, of course,

and then on their own. Those aren't your people, that's

right, yeah, yeah. They're that. They're the I want to do it on

my own people, your people are are the people that say, I

really want someone to help me this, and I'm so tired of doing

it on my own, and now I've seen her process or his process, and

I'm aligning with it. And so yes, that's the person I want to

have help me.

So I think you probably answered my next couple

of questions in your experience, what turns a talk from

interesting into unforgettable and what's the secret sauce for

speaker, audience connection? So you have, in a way, but anything

else you want to add to that?

Yeah, I can elaborate a little bit more. So

I know we talked in general, yeah, be authentic. Be

vulnerable. Connect with people. But there are some specific

skill sets that you can learn to do that. One of them, obviously,

I've been using the whole time. One of my favorites is just

switching from it's using second person instead of first person.

It's as simple as that, yes. So instead of saying, and you pay

attention from now on, when you hear people tell their story,

they'll say I yeah, like I went to the store with my kids, and

then I bought groceries, and then we went in, and then I saw

my grandma, and she was so great, and I gave her a hug,

because I love her, and I right. And they're going right on and

on and on, and that's when it gets boring, because they're

over there with them, and you don't care about them, right?

Not yet for sure. Yeah, we as people don't care about other

people, unless it predict, unless it applies to us. Yeah,

in general, right? Whenever you love your granddaughter, you

don't care if she's talking about herself all the time, but

out there in the world, what's in it? For me, that's what

they're asking for, absolutely. And so whenever you make it

about them and you stop making it about you, that's when people

connect, right? And you'll notice, whenever I shared a lot

of my stories, I'm like, Yeah, you know when you start your

business and you're so excited about it, and you think that if

you just build it, they'll come but then you're, we're

sitting there nodding our heads, right,

right. And, you know, so I, I have a common I've

created a common experience or a common emotion, and I it's my

story that I'm telling you, but it's your story that I'm telling

you, right, right? And so I've pulled you in that way. So I, we

do an exercise with my speakers where I encourage them to not

say more than two sentences of I before they switch back to you.

And it's actually kind of, it takes some practice, but be

surprised how much, yeah, it's just a total different it draws

you in whenever, every time you hear you you because it's kind

of like hearing your name,

and you don't know you're doing it until

somebody points that out, actually, and then, yeah, then

you'll hear it all the time. What was I going to say? Oh, so

if you're on a stage. And I remember this from the last time

I was on a stage, which was quite a while ago, actually. And

I was quite nervous before I went out on stage. And it was

there were about, I don't know, a couple 1000 people there, and

they were some of the people I knew, and I could see some of

them in the front rows, right. And it was through me talking on

a stage at a Send Out Cards conference about LinkedIn as a

tool to use. And I knew my topic. I knew what I was talking

about, but there were some pretty, pretty professional

speakers on stage, before me and after me and stuff, and I was

like, the workshop person kind of thing. Anyway, I I do

remember for me, and I don't know, I'm curious to know what

what you do, but I need to make that connection with someone in

the audience. I'll actually call their name, or I'll say

something to give me that connection. Do you what do you

your What are your thoughts on that?

Yes, yeah. So I think a couple of things, I know

a lot of people say, Oh, I don't talk to anyone before I get on

because you're in the zone and you're trying to, you know, get

your mind straight, and you don't want to be taken off of or

have somebody say something bad or something like that. But

similarly, like most people, we are more responders than we are.

I don't know creators. I guess where, whenever we see someone

or having a conversation with someone, that lights us up and

we that's what conversations are all about, right? You say

something that reminds me about something, and then I'm going so

we're responding off of each other, right? So I do even

before getting on stage. I, you know, I like to know you want to

know who you're talking to and what are they going through and

having, whether that's the day of or before, just like, just

really knowing who is the audience and being able to

understand them better. I just recently went to an event, and

one of the speakers was a little bit all over the place, because

he ended up changing his speech at the last minute, because he's

like, I didn't know who was here. And then when I got here

and I realized who was here, I had to change everything. And he

was like, changing his slideshow a few minutes before, which is a

bit nerve wracking, so don't do that, you know. Ask who your

audience is ahead of time, so that you know who you're talking

to. But similarly, yes, there's, there's obviously also ways that

you can connect with them on stage, at calling them out, have

someone come do an example with you whenever, if you're big on

stage, and you call someone on stage, everybody's having that

experience, as though they're that person, and they feel

connected. So yeah, there's a lot of call and response, and

I already know storytelling fits into your

framework beautifully, and how powerful that can be in

relationship building. So for someone looking to step onto

more stages, what's one piece of advice you'd give them to start

connecting more powerfully, right now,

yes, okay, this is the one I always give. But

for most people, I'll challenge them to make 100 videos.

Whoa, okay, yes,

because it's really inaction. I'm gonna I'm

gonna get back to that here in just a second. But I have a

speaker group, and most there is a man in that group who is fair,

is severely disabled, and when you talk to him, it's honestly a

little bit hard to understand him because of just his muscle

issues and stuff, but he gets paid more as a speaker than 95%

of the people in my speaking group, because he takes action,

right? He reaches out to people. He's asking about getting on

stages. He's got his dream, and he's taking action on that

dream. And I realized the thing that keeps most speakers from

getting on stages and having more audiences and selling and

all the things that your speaker desires is just you taking

action. And a lot of times it's because, yeah, you don't know

your message, or you're not super confident it. So I don't

know. I think we're just waiting to be really good at speaking

before we go out there. Or again, you're thinking that if I

build it, they'll come, you know, if I just, if I just say,

I must be here, somehow someone's gonna know that I want

to speak. So I, I challenge people to make 100 videos for

several reasons, because it, it, it, it forces you to take

action. It helps you to be comfortable on camera because

you've done it so much. It's like Game Day tape. If we're

talking athletes, right, you get to watch the tape back. It gives

you a lot of repetition. You're able to share your story over

and over and over. Again and see yeah and practice, practice IU,

practice being vulnerable, practice having your attention

on them, with the witness. You get to practice all of these

things. And if you have the audacity to post those things

online, guess what, people are going to start seeing you and

noticing you, and they'll see if they resonate with your energy

and your message. And some of those will pop off, and some of

them won't. I know, you're a big LinkedIn fan, obviously. So

whenever I changed my LinkedIn profile, even when I updated my

LinkedIn profile, immediately, I had a client contact. You know,

I had a future client contact me, and we started a

conversation. And you know, so you being out there, taking

action is what made the difference.

Yeah, I think that's huge, actually, because I

hate being on video, yeah, and it's funny again, it comes back

to focusing on different the wrong thing versus the right

thing. I know, because even on here, I'm better on here, on

Zoom than I am on my phone, because there's better filters

here, like

you know right now, you are having to stare at

yourself. I know there is video.

Yeah, that's true, but it's okay. It's all

good. It's good, good practice. And we're going to say something

else. Go ahead.

Well actually, yeah, I was gonna say, for

anyone who feels bad about being on video, I watched my watch me

for the next few months, because I did 50. I just restarted this

100 videos challenge. I have a challenge. I can give you the

link in the chat, but I restarted mine, and I just did

15 videos in one day. I'm sitting in my mom's backyard

with my red t shirt. I don't even think I have makeup on, and

I did 15 videos, and it's gonna be my content for like, the next

two months. Fantastic. I like to do it raw. I mean, that's one of

the reasons I say it raw. Like, I like to do it raw because I

like to show people that you don't have to have it all

together. I want you to feel feel comfortable. You don't have

to look perfect for people to connect with you. Obviously,

there's professionalism and all that. Of course, just throw it

out there kind of half so

here's the thing I go to, okay, how, long are

these videos, and what are you talking about in these videos?

That's where I go. Right away. I want to know the

details, right? Yes, yeah, yes.

So actually, I created a quick mini like

packet. I have a challenge. Okay, all right,

videos, so if you are

interested, it's, I'm signature

stages.com/challenge I believe is the link. I will get

it. Oh, I can send it to you.

I'll send you the links, but I'll send you the links, but

whenever you join the challenge, then you get the videos that

tell you what do you post, and you get a spreadsheet on how you

can track it all, and some tips on speaking and things like

that. And then you troop and you can drop

them. I've done a 30 day challenge, but not 100

video challenge, so I'll have a look at it for Yeah, I think

that's a great place to wrap up, Michelle, because you've given

us a lot of great information and a lot of tips and tools

around speaking, and I love it, and I think my audience will

too. I think Michelle reminds us that the most powerful stages

aren't about performance, they're about presence, truth

and connection through her raw method that I think we

understand now, she's guiding speakers, coaches and

entrepreneurs to ditch the Polish polished scripts and

speak with realness, Audacity and witness whether you're an

athlete stepping into leadership, a coach with a

mission, or someone who wants to make a meaningful impact, this

conversation is your invitation to show up boldly, lead with

authenticity and build relationships that resonate long

after the applause fades, and I love it. I thank you for your

time. I thank you for your energy and for your wisdom. And

I encourage my audience to find Michelle on her website. Now I

know you have more than one. Where do you want people to go

signature stages

that one's fine. It'll forward you to buy

what's the other one? Go ahead. Have inspires. Inspire speaker,

network, Doc, yeah, I have several, yeah, you're

right, yeah. Well, you put whatever you want

in the show notes, and people can find you there. And I

encourage you to check out her 100 video challenge as well,

which we're going to put in the show notes and let us know if

you do it for sure, right? So thank you. Thank you for being

here and to my audience. Thank you so much for being loyal

listeners. And if you like what you hear, please leave a review.

They're always welcome, and remember to stay connected and

be remembered. Right? I.