I've recently started following Shema one_in_seven on Instagram as I noticed a conversation about IVF treatment abroad which is something I have spoken about on this podcast before, but I'm always interested in giving more time to as I think it's a pretty daunting thing to do.

Shema told me about her #TTC journey 4 years and how she's now 42 " I always knew it might be difficult" she explained 

Shema talked about the two back-to-back cycles she went through before her 40th birthday, I know from the pressure I was putting on myself about trying to get pregnant before my 40th that it can't have been at all easy. 

 Shema didn't produce any eggs and didn't get to transfer both times. " I'd always anticipate I might need IVF because of my age, I never thought it wouldn’t work"

As a medical professional Shema talked about not being phased by the whole process but when her doctor cried in her consultation she knew something else was up.. she was going to have to use a donor egg.

Shema and her husband moved to a donor egg within weeks, however, she explained about there really being a shortage of donor eggs if you’re from a black minority, ethnic community background it’s really difficult to find a donor because culturally people don’t donate

"We really need donors from other cultural backgrounds…"

Shema is a really impressive character and talked me through how she phoned every single private clinic in London to see if they have any Asian donors. The couple had been told to expect a 2-year wait. 

Their 3rd cycle was hugely expensive at a big London clinic with big guarantees of success.. it failed. 

Their 4th cycle resulted in a pregnancy

At 21 weeks  Shema's waters broked and her son, Altair was stillborn 

"It’s the worst thing that can happen to you"

Shema talked about how she joined Instagram after the third cycle and the amazing friendships she has now made ..shout out to 'The Pineapple Queens" and Shema says a massively significant part of her healing. 

This March, the couple went to Northern Cyprus for treatment. Shema talked about how she felt a Turkish Cypriot woman would be more likely to match her coloring and how everything was being organized through their London clinic which was worth the money if you can afford to have joint care as there’s so much you have to sort out.

At the time of talking Shema was just about to test having had two embryos transferred and being at the end of her two-week wait. I've put this episode out today as Shema has shared the news that she is indeed pregnant.

Shema spoke an article a friend sent on using a donor egg which really helped her process it

I also talked about a previous episode where I was discussing secondary infertility

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