In this episode of Butterfly Kisses Podcast, Kim Hamer shares her story of loss and grief and how to best support someone going through it. She highlights the importance of being specific in offering help and acts of love she found to be the most helpful.
You will learn how to support someone through the grieving process, tips that help, and things that don't!
"It's interesting how death changes the conversation."- Kim Hamer
Kim Hamer is a grief and loss expert who has written a book on how to support friends who are going through cancer or loss. She also consults with HR teams on how to deal with loss in the workplace.
This is Kim Hamer's story—
Kim married a man four feet taller than her, and they had three young children. Her husband was diagnosed with stage four cancer, and we fought it for seven months until he was cancer free. They thought that was the end of the cancer, but less than two years later, it came back, and he died four months later.
100 Acts of Love is a book Kim wrote to give friendly advice to friends and family to support loved ones through cancer or loss. It's based on her experiences of the things she found helpful and not so helpful after the death of her husband.
Initially, Kim wrote it for herself to remember what to do and say when someone else in her life is going through a hard time. But then she realized what a great tool it is for everyone because people honestly don't know what to say or do when a loved one passes away. As a culture, we don't talk about death, and eventually, we all experience it. So she wanted to make her book accessible to everyone.
TIP: The number one worst thing to say to someone who is grieving is, "If you need anything, let me know." It's such a vague statement and puts added responsibility back on the person to help you to feel better by giving you something to do. They are not thinking clearly and may not even know what they need.
Kim shares 100 Acts of Love you can do to help and support your friend or family member who is grieving. They are acts of service that can truly make a difference!
In this episode, you will learn the following:
How to be specific when offering support to someone who is grieving
Why continuing to offer support after the first year is so important