WARNING: This episode discusses the importance of seeking help when it comes to domestic violence, which can impact anyone. Please make a plan to make sure you can leave safely, and consult local resources for ways to handle a crisis when it arises.

This episode, unintentionally, carries forward the discussion of Episode 7 by a story of perseverance regardless of the obstacles that are being faced. Listen to Michelle's personal and professional journey as she shares how one traumatic relationship turns into a story of blossoming growth, beauty, and the continuing mission to learn and grow. Learn how you can start to change your mindset by removing shame from the equation, and being your authentic, caring self by being self-determined by means available to you.

Guest Bio

Michelle, a Distinguished Toastmaster (the highest award bestowed upon an individual for communication/leadership achievement) is the current Division G Director for District 38 Toastmasters, and was recently elected as the District's Club Growth Director. A veteran of the United States Air Force, she has an impressive background in business development opportunities that have reached various areas of public/private development, and creating relationships through partnerships, reaching high-level sales goals with her team and providing support to various technical teams. Through her volunteering experience with the West Norriton Township Planning Commission, she helps to provide continuity on land use regulations, including zoning and subdivision controls, and working with County Planners to maintain continuity in local communities.

• https://www.thehotline.org/ - Learn to have a plan when it comes to escaping a domestic violence! This website provides a host of resources that you can utilize when learning more, and resources to start considering on your own. Safely connect with someone who can help you by calling, texting, or chatting live on the website, which has built-in safeguards from trackers for a secure experience.
• https://www.toastmasters.org/ - Learn more about how you can create communication and leadership opportunities by visiting a local club (whether in-person, hybrid, or online!) Use the "Find A Club" link on the provided link to visit as a guest with no obligation!

Visit Our Website: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/

Visit Our Business Website: https://www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

Support The Mission Of The Business! Donate Here: https://speaking-from-the-heart.captivate.fm/support

Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

determination, all converge into an amazing, heartfelt experience.

This is Speaking From The Heart.

Welcome back to episode number eight of Speaking From The Heart.

Today we have yet another Toastmaster, a Distinguished Toastmaster, Michelle

Westgate, who is currently the Division G Director for District 38 Toastmasters,

covering Eastern Pennsylvania and Central and Southern New Jersey, and

was recently elected the district's Club Growth Director, which we're

going to talk about a little bit in the episode when we interview her.

She is a veteran of the United States Air Force, in which she has

an impressive background in business development opportunities that have

reached public and private development.

She has also created relationships through those partnerships, which have led in turn

to high level sales growth with teams that she's been involved with over her 25 plus

year career that she has and has worked with various technical teams as well.

She's also a volunteer and part of the planning commission for West Norriton

Township, which is part of a county in Eastern Pennsylvania, which helps

to provide continuity on land use, zoning, subdivision controls, and she

works with county planners to maintain continuity in her local community.

this episode does talk about domestic violence and if you

are somebody listening to this episode that's currently going through any sort

of situation relating to partner abuse or going through troubling times with

a significant other, I want you to know that there are resources available to you,

which I'm going to put not only in episode notes, but we also going to talk about

a little bit in the interview itself.

I will say also that Michelle has a unique story that all of us can

learn, whether we are in the personal or professional realm, and will

help us take it to the next level.

But with that, let's go to the episode.

We have Michelle Westgate here with us.

Michelle, welcome to the show.

Thanks, Josh.

Thank you for inviting me to your show.

It's quite the honor to be a member of your cast for the day.

Yes, absolutely, and being the fourth guest on my show.

I really appreciate you being one of those pioneers.

I was really interested in your story because you and I have known each other

for several years now, off and on about not only things that we have worked

together on, but also indirectly, and I'm really curious, and I'm sure the

audience would want to know this too, tell us a little bit about where you have

started from when it had came to a career path, and how did you get to where you

are today, because I've already let the audience know about all the things that

you do and what you have achieved and I'm just wondering, how does someone go

from really working at Sears all the way up to what you're doing right now.

Tell us a little bit about that.

Well, even working at Sears was a terrific opportunity for me.

I went from being just a regular employee walking through the door,

entry level, moving all the way up to as high as I could get without

a college degree in the company.

I was in charge of a team.

I led international efforts towards building a new line of business.

I created a lot of documents that they used and they may still use

somewhere in the Sears Discover world.

I eventually left Sears.

I had been there for over nine years, and one day I drove into the parking

lot and I couldn't get out of my car and I decided to just go home.

I just could not take the stress of doing what I was doing there any longer and

thought there's more to my life than what I'm doing at Sears, and not that it

was a bad company, but I just felt a lot of stress and pressure in that moment.

Was there a moment when you decided, yes, I'm going to leave and

I'm going to see what's out there?

Was it because that you felt that you had a lot more to offer, or was it something

that just happened one day, like you said, that flipped a light switch for you?

Between the mix of personal and professional stress,

I think it was just a point where I could not stay in the situation

I was in, I had to make a change.

My personal life was a disaster at that point of time.

I was dealing with a lot of pressure at home and at work.

I was overseeing a lot of people who would escalate their calls to me.

I was the one who was taking those tough calls and it got to the point where people

were circling me to see what I was going to say when I got somebody on the phone.

How was I going to deal with telling somebody that we're going to rip

the carpet out of their home?

How was I going to deal with telling somebody that we're going to come and

take your roof off your house because you're not paying for it, and I started

to think it was more of a joke than a serious issue, but I learned a lot.

I learned that no matter where you are in life, don't ever take it for granted that

you are always going to be there tomorrow.

We could become homeless in a heartbeat and that was my first

experience with seeing the world in a bigger way, knowing that there

was more, that there was a reality that I had not even touched on yet.

I was a young adult.

I was in my early twenties and moving into the next part of my life.

Somehow, I landed at an engineering firm and that was when I started

my path in the AEC industry; that's architects, engineers, construction.

I've been in that industry in some way for the rest of my career, all

the way up until just recently.

Wow.

I found something resonate with me when you say that when you were a

young adult and you connected all the dots essentially with seeing different

experiences and seeing different people coming from all walks of life.

What was the moment that you realized that you needed to see not just people

in just where they're at, but also how did you navigate through learning

from those people, meaning, was there something that you have taken from

those experiences, even your young career at the time, to even the present?

Is there something that you've shared with others, whether those are employees,

those are people that you work with, and some of the volunteering that you do, or

even some of the service you do publicly?

What have you taken with you and what would you say to my audience as to what

are some things that we can do even in today's environment, which I think is

some of the most shakiest when it comes to not only getting a job, but also a stable

job that has all the bells and whistles, like benefits and healthcare specifically

all of those, what's your take on that?

My take on that, thanks, Josh.

I would say that you should be authentic and you should care.

You should really care about the people and the things happening around you, but

mostly you should care about yourself.

If you're not getting joy out of what you're doing, then you should find

something that you will get joy out of.

I became a mentor in my professional life, and that's where the

biggest part of my joy comes from.

I can do almost any job and be a mentor, and I have to take the perspective

that most people have when they go into a job and they're trying to

work ahead and switch it, skew it so that it is more about what I'm

getting out of my giving to others.

It's the joy that I get when I see some buddies' lights

just go on.; they get excited.

They become a leader.

They take charge.

They share their ideas, they open up and they speak, and that is exciting

when you're a mentor, especially when it's somebody who comes into

your environment, into your world and they don't have that confidence.

They don't have that readiness to take on the world, and you get to empower them.

You get to help them move forward, and there is so much excitement

in that it drives me forward.

I noticed too, that you are a veteran of the United

States Air Force, which thank you for your service, by the way.

It's greatly enduring and is always a sacrifice to do when you are giving

to our country, and specifically the United States for my international

listeners, just to clarify, is there something that you learned from that

that kind of help to start that motion into that direction, because I think what

you just said is something that isn't necessarily taught, it's something that

we kind of go through of experience.

Right.

Is that what your experience has been or has it been something else?

Being a veteran, being active duty or a GI, a government issue, I was an

object at the service of the government.

I learned that I had to speak up for myself even when I was afraid.

When you have a drill sergeant screaming in your face about the

length of your pants or your hair being out of place, and you know that

you are correct, that you are in line, you have to speak up for yourself.

Do it respectfully.

You don't have to swear at somebody.

You don't have to insult them.

Standing up for yourself doesn't mean hurting the other person.

It just means that you are helping yourself.

You are making others aware of who you are, and you are also building that

confidence with each fearful word, every, every word that comes out of your

mouth, it changes you, and if I didn't continue to speak up and to speak out,

I don't know where I would be today.

Well, I think that you bring a unique perspective in what you've shared because

a lot of people think that what we value as our words, we want to express them

immediately as possible, and we don't give much thought to what the consequences

are especially when we're thinking about not just the actions that go behind it,

but also the tone, the voice and all those things, and here we are again,

ladies and gentlemen, we're with another Toastmaster essentially that has been

working on that herself, so when you hear the words of violence going through

people's minds, essentially these are hateful, derogatory terms that we say to

somebody else, I'm sure maybe you have a story that might tie into this too, but

what would you say, especially somebody that's been working with public speaking

and even leadership over the years, what is something that we could do to

help foster some of those relationships in a better way, and when I ask that,

I mean not just in what you've learned in just being part of the workforce and

also being a veteran of really the armed forces, what would you think is important

in today's day and age that we can start to simmer down that conversation?

Active listening.

Mm-hmm.

That's a term that Toastmasters uses to explain one of the best parts of

communication, one of the most important parts of communication, which is not just

hearing the words, but actually listening and absorbing those words and considering

what somebody is saying to you.

If you're not listening to other people, you are not going to be

open enough to make a change.

I found over the years that I had opinions and thoughts about

things that might have been wrong.

I could have argued with you that the sky was green and it was really blue

and somebody showed me the facts.

If I hadn't opened up my mind, my ears, my heart to hear them, I

would never have learned the truth.

I think that everybody has a story and that story matters.

If you don't stop and listen, you're not going to learn about the world around you.

You're not going to learn how to interact with other people and moving ahead in

life, moving ahead in your career, you need to know how to connect to people.

You need to know how to interact with somebody who's in a certain position

and understand that you have to be respectful in a moment even if you don't

believe that person deserves the respect, they still should be treated with a

certain, I'm not sure what that word is.

Some of my previous guests I think have even said having eye contact

and even, like you said, listening skills, that are attuned to what that

human element is like, having that connection is really important and I feel

like that's what you're trying to say.

That human connection is very important and if I didn't connect

with other people, I don't think anybody would ever want me around.

Well, I will say that I will want you around even then.

We can have our disagreements, but we can come to the table and

still talk about them rationally.

And that's exactly what we do, and there is this argument in the

world about whether I can speak with somebody who has a differing opinion.

Maybe they have a different culture, maybe they have a different line

of thinking, maybe they are just not in the same place that I am.

They still have a need to be heard, and I think as humans, we have an

obligation to our fellow people to listen to give them that opportunity

to speak, and finding that platform is sometimes challenging because you don't

always want to make other people feel uncomfortable with someone's message.

I find that quite fascinating because some people don't know how to

have that balance, and some of them take it to one extreme or another, and I'm

just curious, you have talked a lot about this almost as if you have lived

that life and it seems as if there's somebody or maybe something that had

happened in your life and I'm wondering if you want to share that with our

audience about what that situation or that person was, and how that has made

a profound impact on you personally.

Oh, certainly Josh, you and I have talked about this one on one-

and you knew, and you knew I was going to ask the question too.

I was married to a person who was an amazing person;

intelligent; everyone loved him.

He was Mensa.

He wore suits.

He was well educated and well liked, very personable, the kind of guy you

wanna sit in a bar and drink a beer with.

About six months into our relationship, he started isolating me from the

people around me, my friends, my family, even the ability to drive a

car, hold money, make phone calls.

Wow.

I found myself in a situation that became darker and darker with every

moment that I lived it, and at one point, at one point he held a gun to my head.

Oh my God.

He said, "I'm going to kill you."

That was the moment my entire life changed.

In that moment, I thought, "does it matter?

Does it really matter if he kills me in this moment?"

I said, "fine.

If that's what you want to do, go for it."

He walked away because it was boring at that time.

He gave up and and didn't kill me, of course, his fun would've ended then,

but I continued to think about that and how I had gone from being this vibrant,

very active, extremely inquisitive person to basically not living.

I was in a box.

I was in a shell, and I was at the point where I couldn't talk to another person.

If somebody asked me a question, I was afraid to answer that question.

I couldn't look people in the eyes; I could not speak a word

without stuttering and stammering.

I even shook when I had to answer a question.

It was very difficult to try to find a job in that time, and of course, he would

take me to the job, he would pick me up from the job, he knew exactly where

I was at all times in the building.

It was very controlling, and back then we didn't have direct deposit.

There were paychecks, and when I got my paycheck, he drove me to the bank and

only his name was on the bank account.

I had no way out.

I was stuck in a situation where I said, Michelle, you're not living.

Is this really where you want to be?

Wow.

First off, I want to say that for anybody that is going through any sort

of situation like that, domestic violence wise or anything that is threatening

your life, I'm going to put a link in the episode notes about services and

resources that you can reach out to in your local community to help you start

making steps in the right direction so that you have that safety, but Michelle,

specifically to you, I want you to know that you are a gift in this world and

I'm really impressed by what you have been able to do since that moment and

since those days where you were pretty much told what to do every day and

maybe even for those that are struggling with where that first step is, what did

you do to finally say, " that's enough.

I know that I have value.

I'm worthy of this."

Is there any advice that you can give to anybody that is struggling with this,

because I know for a fact that there are a lot of people, especially with some of the

things that I've been personally involved in over the years, that they might

not even know what that first step is.

What would you recommend to someone and how would you have them go

about doing that first step?

I'd like to start this statement with saying, I was afraid, I was ashamed.

It was more than just fear of him, but I was ashamed to tell people that I was

in this situation that I found myself in a place like this where I had been

brainwashed, I was controlled, I had been manipulated, I was afraid, and I was

ashamed, and if I were to tell somebody what to do today, I would tell them to

reach out to their nearest crisis center.

There are lots of people in the world who are willing to have a conversation

with you, and it doesn't mean that you have to follow through with it.

You could just think about it.

You don't have to move right now, but inform yourself, and if you know somebody

who's in that situation, inform those people about the opportunities around you.

There are local domestic violence shelters everywhere, there are

teams at your police stations that are sensitive to these needs.

There are people in hospitals that will take you into another room away

from anyone who might hear and you can tell them that you need help.

You can signal to somebody when you're out and about that you need help, and a lot

of times people will come through for you.

I had people step in and help me because I opened my mouth.

I took a chance.

Yeah.

Most, most women or most people who try to leave an extremely

violent situation, and I didn't even touch on the depths of this situation,

but when they do, they don't live.

There is a high risk of being murdered by your abuser, and there are a lot

of things that you have to consider when you are taking that step, and the

first thing is to be aware of what's happening around you and to make sure

that everybody, I don't care if it's the dog down the street, you make sure

all of your neighbors know, you make sure that anybody you work with knows,

that you are going through this and that this person is not welcome in your life.

You go to the courthouse and file for an injunction to get that

person to stay away from you.

In different areas, they use different terminology for this.

Basically it's a keep away order; course that keep away order doesn't always

protect you because it's a piece of paper.

A person can still get past that and a lot of times our police officers

are their, their hands are tied.

They can't step in and help unless they see that you're actually bleeding.

Wow.

That's scary.

Mm-hmm.

But I can tell you that the world has changed a lot

since I was in that situation.

There are so many opportunities out there for us to help each other and

that's what I would say; just keep trying, keep moving forward, even when the

world becomes a very dark place and you think that there is no hope whatsoever.

You take a step, just one little step, and it takes you in the right

direction, and you just keep going and you don't think about what could

happen, instead, you think about what your vision is for tomorrow.

What are you going to do in this next moment?

Where do you see yourself in a day, in a week, in a year?

Get yourself out of that situation if you can, and if you can't, you get somebody

to help you get out of that situation and let them help you because people want to.

I believe that deep in my heart that people are inherently

good and that they will help.

It sounds like it's all about not just having a plan so that

you're ready for that transition, but you also are willing to say

and give yourself the thought of, I can change this circumstance.

I can move to the next chapter of my life.

I can be worthy of all the gifts that are going to be bestowed upon me in this next

adventure, and Michelle, I think your career speaks volumes to that, and even

the things that you have been doing in Toastmasters and helping others to see

their best versions of themselves has been something of a remarkable opportunity that

I think even from an innocent bystander, looking outward and looking in, you have

definitely taken that to the direction that it needs to be for yourself.

I'm wondering though about this, as we almost close out our time.

I did think of this question in that, you said something about shame and it's

something that it is really powerful that I work with my clients too, is

overcoming some of those barriers that might be inhibiting them for seeing

where they can potentially go, whether that is to make a life change or have

a new routine, or even do things that they normally haven't done in the past.

What would you say was the biggest challenge for you to transition from

the situation, which is just absolutely despicable, and I'm glad that you're

out of it, because you definitely are.

How did you transition from that moment to where you're at now and what would

you say to someone that is on the cusp of that change, meaning, not necessarily

how to get out of the situation because you explained that already, but how

do you move forward in a direction that has that positive mindset because

you're just reeking of positivity right now that is contagious and a lot

of people are probably confounded by how you are keeping the smile going.

How are you doing that?

That word comes up again, perspective.

Perspective.

I decided that you could look at anything as a negative or as a positive,

and if you take that negative and turn it into a positive, then you're

going to have a reason to smile.

I don't look at my history as woe is me and I'm a victim, instead, I am a

strong, successful person who has blamed ownership of my life, and in order to do

that, I had to do a few little things.

One of those things was I did seek help.

I found a therapist that dealt specifically with trauma and we talked

and that was very helpful, and of course I read a lot of books and that's where

my next point comes in is education.

A lot of people are afraid to take a chance on education.

Maybe they were told that they were dumb when they were growing up, or that

they weren't capable of doing more.

You're always going to be whatever that title is that

they put on you; that identity.

I went to college.

I went to the local community college and signed up for one class.

I said, let's see how this goes, and I excelled.

I got an A on my first exam.

I sat in my car for three hours after that test, after I got the test results

back, and I cried because I believed in myself again, and that was a good

feeling, but I was able to continue going down that road where I achieved.

I continued, and even when I found moments when I struggled, I asked for help.

I went and got a tutor, or I talked to an instructor, or

I went to a school counselor.

I asked for help and I continued to move forward with my life.

I continued to take that step, that step I keep talking about that

drives you in the right direction.

Education was one of the best things for me because I built up some

confidence and when I came into Toastmasters, that's a form of education.

It's another way that we develop who we are, and I wasn't feeling completely

confident when I came into Toastmasters.

I had slid in backwards just a little bit, and that happens in life.

Sometimes we find things that cause us to struggle or wobble a little bit.

I stepped into Toastmasters feeling not as confident as I was when I graduated

from college, but Toastmasters gave me the opportunity to stand in front

of people, to challenge myself, to achieve something that was all on me.

I was in a safe space and it was an excellent opportunity for me to grow,

and I have thrived in Toastmasters.

If somebody cannot afford to go to college, I would wholeheartedly

suggest a Toastmasters club for you because it is the least expensive

way to get the opportunities to grow, to learn about leadership and

development, to excel beyond your own expectations, to make friends, to

find a support system in the world.

It is a great organization and I highly recommend it.

I have to say that it's remarkable to have seen your growth just through

Toastmasters personally, which from my audience, as I mentioned, I've known

Michelle specifically through Toastmasters but having this interview, I've learned

so much more about you as a result of just what you have persevered through,

and I have a deeper appreciation for the friendship that we've been able

to accumulate and you already stole my thunder by pitching Toastmasters, but I

want to give you a few moments to pitch what you are doing next year, which next

year, for my audience is really July 1st.

You're taking on a new role, I've heard, and I'm curious if you want

to share a little bit about that role that you're doing in Toastmasters to

wrap us up and what you are looking forward to in the new Toastmasters year.

Thanks, Josh.

I am nervous about what's to come.

I have taken on a tremendous job, and I've made a lot of promises

and I'm a person who, when I say I can do something, I get it done.

I find a way no matter what it's going to happen, and as you can tell through the

story that I've shared with you today.

I haven't always been there.

I've had these moments where I was stagnant in life, but

I am not stagnant anymore.

That is something I don't; it just does not sit well with me.

This coming year, I am the incoming Club Growth Director.

That means I am one of the top three leaders in our district; that's District

38 in Toastmasters International.

We will be working on growing new clubs, developing new clubs, finding

new opportunities and retention, which is keeping the clubs that we

already have, but I'm also going to be focusing on a few other things.

I have some plans that are going to help people.

Anyone who wants to be mentored, I'm going to find people to

mentor those individuals.

There aren't always people in the clubs because some of the clubs are

smaller, some of the clubs struggle, but we want to bring excitement

back to being a part of those clubs.

I want to see that excitement.

We see it at such high levels all the time because we get that bigger picture

where we can see all the great things that are happening and we can focus on

those great things, but sometimes we forget or overlook the people who are

quiet, the ones that are not speaking up, the clubs that have hidden risks for

not succeeding, and those are the people, those are the clubs that I am especially

interested in, and I hope to find a way that we can tap into those clubs, those

members, and help them be a success in the upcoming year and in the future.

You have big shoes to fill, but at the same time, you were helping people.

You were just like one of them at one point and you got the help that you

needed, and look at you now, you're, you're helping others to see not only

things that maybe they haven't yet unlocked, but you're going to make

changes that I believe, will have rippling effects across not just District

38, which is Central and Southern New Jersey, along with Eastern Pennsylvania,

but even the entire world and for my audience, I'll leave in the episode

notes again another way to connect with Toastmasters by visiting a local

club in in your own backyard, wherever you're at, even if it is not in District

38, but Michelle, I thank you so much.

You are a true saint.

You're really, really something else that I, a true goddess, let's put it that

way; well, let's give you an upgrade, because Saint was not the appropriate

term, but I want to say that you have gone through so much and it shows that you

deeply care, and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts with our audience today.

Thank you, Josh.

I had a great time talking with you.

Complacency is my enemy.

Don't stay stuck in the past.

Keep moving forward."

That was something that Michelle shared with me before we started recording

this episode, that as I listen back and think about what she had just shared,

it is so important that we don't stay complacent and it is also so easy for

us to fall in the trap of thinking that we are always going to be stuck in

these two out of 10 ways that we have been learning throughout our lives and

know that we're not going to be able to make it through, but, if anything about

Michelle today dispelled that rumor about that sort of time tested, long

forgotten adage, I think it is important to say that she eradicated that ceiling.

A lot is can be said about what she had shared throughout the episode, and I

have to say, a lot can be shared about this interview that we just had, and

some of the things that I think about when reflecting on this is that a lot

of what we can do relates specifically to the personal actions that we have

in regards to our social development.

It is so easy to fall in the trap sometimes of thinking, "I've

always got to do it this way.

I always have to think about it this way because that is what I've been

taught throughout my life," but if anything can come true in our lives,

when we start to separate ourselves from whatever that toxic

messaging is as it relates to our social development, we can start to make

inroads into what is really important.

One of the things that she said also that resonated was about the authenticity and

care that we can give ourselves if we are willing to have those vast connections

with people, and as someone that is a Air Force veteran and also has gone

through the workforce after all these situations happen with her ex-husband,

all these things can happen if we're willing to be active listeners, which

is also something else that she talked about, and we need to be able to be heard

all the time when it comes to when we're having that dialogue, that two-way street.

With many of the clients that I work with, sometimes having the relationships with

individuals as it comes to understanding what each person wants from it becomes

what is called a Crucial Conversation.

That's not a term that I developed, but is also something that many

authors, especially Joseph Greeney and others in a book called

Crucial Conversations for Mastering Dialogue, talk quite a lot about.

As long as you're willing to be heard and as long as we're able to have that

discussion back and forth about the vast importance of why we are able to grow

and why we are able to have X, Y, and Z happen, we were able to make roads appear

that maybe haven't appeared before because all we had to do was think about how we

were having that conversation and how we were able to create that opportunity

that no longer was not really feasible into something that is feasible, and

when we have active listening, we're also creating relationships with each other.

I'm not just talking about the people that we're interacting with, but I think

Michelle brought up a very interesting point during our interview that was

really helpful that I want to share.

When we start to have relationships with ourselves, I mean actually thinking

about what we can do to give ourselves self-care, self-love, self-reflection,

self whatever word you want to use that's positive and affirming, we start to have

complacency with the attitude of being positive, and those are the things that

if we're able to keep moving ourselves forward in, nothing is impossible or stand

in our way from achieving the dreams.

If we can start to do that first, anything is possible, especially if

you go through such a situation that Michelle had, which for my audience,

this was the very first time that I ever heard the story about what Michelle had

actually gone through with her ex-husband.

She and I have talked about this previously on occasion when I have had

conversations about her Toastmaster's journey on in other matters, but this was

the first time that I actually heard play by play as to what she actually endured.

My mouth dropped open, and my appreciation for those that have

gone through some of these events will forever be deeper because of

what Michelle's testimony was to us.

It wasn't just about what she endured, but it was something that she used that

she gained, because she was able to take herself to the next level, and the

biggest thing that she shared towards the end was that she was ashamed.

Now, shame in itself can be a very terrible feeling to have.

It almost makes you afraid, and Michelle conveyed that quite a lot during the

episode where, when she was getting into the story of where that originated from,

why she thought that these sort of values are something that is important in her

life and why she wanted to work with others, she started to really talk about

why the importance of having a mentor and also having somebody that can help to

dispel those sort of things are important.

I can't overemphasize the importance of having somebody like a coach to help

you go through those times, especially when you need that affirmation and

that accountability, and that's exactly what my business, Your Speaking Voice,

really truly does to help people see the best version of themselves, not

just from where they're at today, but where they can be in the future.

I know I sound like a broken record sometimes when it comes to saying

that "oh, yes, you could always be the best version of yourself, Josh,

but it takes work," but if you're willing to do the work, you can be

something like Michelle is today.

Truly successful and now is leading thousands of Toastmasters in her next

adventure within that organization.

She's taking the skills that she's learning right now and

applying them to what's ahead.

Shame does not have to be the dictating force that throws us into the abyss

that we can never crawl out of.

I know that personally, and I shared that with you in episode seven where I

talked about where determination had to be the point in which I moved forward.

That had to be the determinating factor for me to say, "I had

enough and I know I can do better."

This episode was not planned to think about that consequence, and Michelle

certainly showed that that consequence can be for the better, but we were

talking after this episode in which I was expressing my surprise about what she had

been through, and she mentioned something to me that we all will have to think

about as we think forward into the future.

It is all about retraining our brain, our thought process in which we're able

to move forward and think of things which we never thought of before, and

if we're able to do that, If we're able to say to ourselves that we're going

to move ahead no matter what, and we're able to relearn some of the things

that might have been toxic, what a game changer that could be in our own lives.

I know that complacency can be comforting sometimes, but if you make that your

enemy, and you don't stay stuck in the past and you keep moving forward, you're

going to be like Rocky Balboa; always getting back in the ring, always willing

to take the shots that you never took, and knowing that you can be a true champion

no matter where you're at in your life.

Thanks for listening to episode number eight of Speaking From

the Heart, and I look forward to hearing from your heart very soon.

Thanks for listening.

For more information about our podcast and future shows, search for Speaking From

The Heart to subscribe and be notified wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz for more information about potential

services that can help you create the best version of yourself.