Real Life Coaching: I’m doing something new! I invite you to listen in on a real unscripted coaching session with new coach Anna M. She comes with this question, “as an emerging coaching I would love to know how using my experience do I take my clients from ‘A to B’ and make the transformation complete. Not just inspire them but actually transform!”  And then we coach. We collaborate and use her passion dedication and inspiration to understand how she can create the best bridge or program for her clients. 

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Welcome to she coaches coaches. I'm your host,

Kandi motsek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity,

confidence and courage to become the coach that you are meant to

be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a

life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to

talk all about mindset and strategies and how to, because

step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and

confidence to take action. Let's get started. Thank you for

agreeing to be coaching laser coaching client. What would you

like to be coached on today, Anna?

Oh, candy, I'm so glad you asked me this

question. As an emerging coach. I would love to know how using

my story and my experience, though, I take my clients from A

to B and make this transformation completed. How do

I help them to transform not just inspire them, but

transform?

transforming

its way when they feel empowered and

inspired. And they actually do this do this first steps. So how

do I I build the bridge for them, not just beings wanting to

do something, but actually doing this changes this

transformation?

So you've got two thoughts that are happening

here. The one is is how to build the bridge that then you can

guide them on. And then the other is how to get them to keep

moving. which path do you want it? Which path is the more

important one for you right now?

Probably How do I build the bridge? Okay. Okay.

So what does if you think of a bridge, it's on

land on one side, and it goes to land on the other side? And then

it has this span that often goes across water? What's the first

place like what what's the on ramp look like, for the people.

It's probably the place where they start. They

are right now. They have their challenges they want to

overcome, but they don't know how. But they have an idea where

they want to be. They have an idea what sort of person they

want to be what sort of relationship they want to have,

or work or wealth. But they just don't know how to get there. So

how do I help them to build this bridge?

Yeah. So where they are right now is the place

of pain? Yes, actually. Right. And where they want to be is

that version of themselves. Where that that particular pain

is salt. And so the place that you might want to start looking

at is identifying what exactly is that discomfort? That they

want salt? And is that discomfort? Strong enough to get

them into motion? So that would be the first place that I would

look is like what? what's bugging them? And then so the

discomfort has to be strong enough for them to take action.

Higher you Where are they want to go where that dream is? It

has to be compelling enough. It has to pull them, right. It

can't just be I hate my I hate my job. I hate my life.

Mm hmm.

That we never move from that place of it a light

just a place of May we never move. It has to be I can't stay

like this anymore. I'm not willing to stay like this. So

the discomfort has to be strong enough to get them in motion.

And then the dream has to be strong enough to pull them. So

that's the place you start helping them see how just how

much discomfort they're in how much pain they're in right now.

And help them feel the discomfort and the feeling of

the discomfort might be so much as like what's your life gonna

be like in five years if you stay here? Mm hmm. You know,

what's your relationship? with your wife or your husband or

your partner or your children going to be like if you stay in

this place of mystery?

That's a good question.

Right? So how how can you help them to see not not

by making a like not by sensationalizing their

discomfort, but help them to really see the real discomfort

that they're experiencing? And then what's possible for you,

you know, what would life be like in that place? So that's

your first place, you want a strong foundation, a strong

onramp. And then you want a strong off ramp to, like, they

want to go to that tropical island, where the, you know,

warm sun is shining, and there's just light breezes, there's no

tidal waves, there's, you know, they want to go there. And so

what is that dream? And again, to help them really see that

dream, right? So talk to me about the to the on ramp and the

off ramp. What does that look like now for you now that you're

thinking in that way?

Now, when people have a clear understanding where

they're standing now, what they feel there is a clearer

understanding what is going to be how their, how their life is

going to look like, if they won't take this step, if they

won't cross this bridge, and to understand the whole picture of

their pain. And on another side, they finally have a clear vision

of what their life will look like, if they make this step.

That's what they were dreaming about. And it's probably, I see

what you say, when you saying it's, it's brilliant, it's

really brilliant. Because not many people even seeing what

they want to do in five years time, or, you know, in 10 years

time, or how they want their life to be. They're getting so

caught up in a small things, that it's really wonderful to,

to help them to understand. What is the bigger picture what is

happening now? And what can happen. If you take these steps,

I love it.

Oh, now, your next job is huge. So you know how

they're going to basically get in your car, right? You know,

your coaching practice your coaching program with them as

they're going to get into your car is the you know, like,

what's the car? Like? Is it a minivan? Is it a convertible? Is

it a Rolls Royce? Is it a Lamborghini? Like what is that

car? Right? So they're going to get in? Are they in the

passenger seat beside you? Or are they driving? Right? So now

you're going to get that in your head about? They're getting in

my car? What kind of a car do I have? Hmm. So what kind of a car

does it look like?

thing comes into my head. It will be probably a

big truck. And my clients will definitely drive it. Alright,

so where are you in the truck? And what kind of

truck is it?

Um, it's a question.

First one that pops into your head. I don't

want you to question yourself. What did you see when you said

it's a big truck?

It's a four wheel drive. Probably. Porsche

Korean.

Excellent. Okay, great. What color is it?

Dark. It's a it's a dark blue.

Right? So they get in the driver's seat. And where

are you?

I'm next to the driver, driver's seat or

passenger in the passenger

seat. Okay, do you have your seat belt on? Not?

No, I definitely should put my seatbelt on.

Because this speed we're gonna take off with is going to be

big.

Okay. So they got into the Porsche Cayenne, dark

blue there. They hop into the driver's seat close that door.

They've got their seatbelt on. You're in the passenger seat.

You've got your seat belt on. Now what? What happens?

Well, if they don't know how to drive a

Porsche, I probably have to explain to them to put their

head like how to switch on the car. How to start the how to

start the car. How to drive But to know how to accelerate the

speed.

Right? So that's the beginning of your program.

That's the beginning of how you can help them get the

transformation. So you help them learn where the dials are, how

to turn it on, how responsive it is whether they need to put gas

in the tank. So what does that look like for your program? I

mean, this is just like, yes, it's all pretending in our

imagination, but then take that and put that into what would

that be like talking to people?

Hmm. It's probably trying to get into

basic stuff. Probably working with mindset, with negative self

talk, helping them to believe that they can do this, that they

worthy, trying to show them the first steps, what I've done,

because here, I'm just just thinking, relying on my

experience, I know what steps I I've taken to start my healing

journey. It took me many years, but yeah, I now I'm getting, I

can speed up this process for my clients, just putting them on

the right path on the right way.

So with the beginning steps, so just

paraphrasing what you said, just so that it gives you something

more to think about, they get in. So they chose to get in, you

didn't push them into the truck, they chose to get in, they close

the door. And now they're looking at you, and you're the

guide. And so the place that you start is the basics. You use the

basics that you already know. And the first thing that you

said was mindset, and very specifically how they speak to

themselves, and how they believe how they can cultivate that

belief that they are worth it, and that they can do it. Right.

So you're already now you're already on that on ramp, you're

already on that bridge. What do you what's here? Now, what's the

next thing you've given them the basics, you want them to drive,

you got your seatbelt on, which is a darn good thing I must add,

what's the trip like?

Probably using my knowledge and my experience,

I will help them to get over the fear of driving, if this is the

first time and make this journey being more fun and more

exciting. Because it doesn't need to be very scary, or very

hard or difficult. Not. It's like probably me holding their

hand. You know, while they're driving or helping to steer

their wheel in the wrong in the right direction. It's probably

showing them the next step what I've taken to get them to the

point. I'm just probably rambling something

you're good. This is part of this is part of the

creative process. This is like we know that it's a creative

process. And that any way that you create this method for them

to get from one side to the other, every way that you create

is going to work. But what's the way that you want to create?

What do you decide is right? So you have this starting point,

you know where they are, you've helped them really see that they

know where they're going. Now they've got the basics, they're

still driving, at any point. Just think about a car, right?

At any point, you could just stop in the middle of traffic

and get out and go I'm out of here, right? So what you're

doing is making it fun and easier than they might have

thought and maybe not as scary as they thought. So they stay in

the car they stay driving, what kind of music would you have?

Playing

of very, very motivational. We are the

champions. We are the champions or something, something like

that. Yeah, and the sun something encouraging to make

the next step, the next baby step or take a massive action,

maybe accelerate the speed A little bit.

And I noticed that you've got this thing where you

want them to experience it fast, right? Yes. And that is

possible. And it may be part of your process, it may also be

part of your offering. Like that might be one of the things that

draws them to you. How do you? How do you serve them on their

time, not your time. So what I mean by that is, sometimes we

coach people, and we know they could do this. And we know it

could be fast. But you know what? They took their foot off

the gas, and it's slow. And there you are, with your

motivational Queen music playing, and you're tapping your

foot, like, come on, it's just supposed to be fun. And you're,

you know, like, let's go, let's go, let's go. That's your speed?

How do you allow them to feel comfortable at their speed?

That's a big deal.

You know, what, you just made me think actually,

it's not about healing fast. It's not about going to the, to

the point be very fast. It's about shortening my shortening

the time they can get. And it depends, it depends on my

client. I'm what I'm trying to say. It took me 20 years, 20

years to get to this point. So what I was, what I'm trying to

do for my clients, is to provide them with all the knowledge with

all this support, so they can speed up the process for

themselves, and make it more effortlessly, and more fun, and

more exciting. And answering your question, if they just take

your take their foot of the guess? That's a really good

question. I think I will be, I will be just here holding their

hand and asking them questions. What happening in your mind?

What's on your way? How can I help you? How can I provide the

support to help you to make the next step.

So another here, component of holding the space

for them, honoring them, respecting, respecting that this

is their path. And I and I also really like this, what you're

saying about, it's not about speed so much. It's about

optimization, you know, hence World's Best Life optimization

coach, right? So it's about, you can reduce the number of places

that they have to hop around finding a solution, you can

provide that safe space for them. So they so they can go the

speed they want, with the least amount of friction, grease the

wheels, as it were right. And you know, and as you were

talking, I had this idea that for some of your clients, like

when we talked about the bridge at the beginning, and we're just

about done with the coaching, but I want to leave you with

this mental picture. We talked about the bridge about the on

ramp and they got in the car and all of that, and then where

they're going so strongly to have that where they're heading

to be that howling force. And then I had this idea that it was

kind of like those bridges that you see. I think it's in

Scandinavia, where they get on one bridge and you go from one

island to the next island, then you drive over that island and

then you like it, sort of it hops all the way along as some

of the spans are very long. And some of them are very short, but

every island is different. Hmm. And they could spend quite a bit

of time enjoying that island before they make it to the next

one. So that's there's just something I don't know what it

is, but there's something there about that visual of the view

can be wonderful. From every whether you're on the bridge,

whether you're in the great car with leather and you know love

that lovely scent, whether you're, you know, on in the fast

lane or in a slower lane or whether you've made it to the

first island and you still have longer to go. So that would be

my closing question how can you how to help them appreciate the

view wherever they are

It's probably I love your analogy by the way.

It's just before I answer your question, it reminds me that not

many people can jump from one or like one room to another

straightaway. It's for some people, it can be an

overwhelming journey. So to break this way, on a few

different ways, like a baby steps. It's a really, really

brilliant an amazing point. Thank you candy. And still

reminding people, what is their why and what is awaiting for

them. But how to make them enjoy each island is to teach them how

to be present. Right here, right now. Because what's happening

right now in this moment, that's a life. That's a magic. It's a

it's a gift. That's why it's called present. Right now. Look

at look at it. Look around yourself. You have you see

beautiful trees, beautiful sky, or maybe you can see the beach

and the ocean. Maybe you can see the beautiful buildings,

whatever you enjoy, just stop. And enjoy. That's where the

magic happening. That's, that's why the present a gift of our

life.

Okay, so to wrap it up. We talked about a lot of

things. What's flow, one action that you will take as a result

of this conversation? What will you do because of this

conversation?

I am getting clear about my strategy and

about my plan. The action, what I want to take is to just start

thinking about what steps I took to get me in this place. What

are the the most challenging moments so I can be prepared for

my clients? And what were the most easy and effortless and fun

moments that I went through? And what what was my why? So just to

stick to this? Yeah, it's it's about building my strategy, will

you? How will

your you're gonna think about that. But how are

you accurate? So I'm like right now what we're bringing it down

to is okay, we're going to actually do something that makes

use of what the new insight that you have, what will you do? Is

it like, will you record yourself? Will you do videos of

yourself? Will you write notes? Will you create some kind of a

diagram would you paint? What would you do?

I'm gonna write my notes. And I'm gonna make I'm

gonna make a board where we're probably going to paint those

bridges with islands. And also, I'm going to use it in my wreck

my podcasts.

Thank you. Thanks again for listening today.

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