This week on LTO: Ben and Xhafer don't have a calendar. There's a Sophie B Hawkins drop, what else do you need to know?
Discord: https://discord.gg/MUHKDDk6TN
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Hello and welcome to last time on This the podcast for the people who
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:wanna watch all this prestige television.
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:But who's got time for it?
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:Benjamin: Apparently I do.
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:I had so much, like I've watched
three different things this week.
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:Uh,
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:Xhafer: Oh, you mean a normal week for me?
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:Benjamin: fair.
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:I
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:Xhafer: I,
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:Benjamin: forgot we.
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:Xhafer: I.
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:Benjamin: I forgot we were doing this,
and so I've watched the other episode
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:of what we'll be doing next week now.
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:Uh
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:Xhafer: Oh, I wasn't going
to acknowledge it at all.
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:Benjamin: oh.
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:Fair enough.
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:Xhafer: just gonna get into
it and people pretend like we
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:had watched the wrong thing.
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:like we forgot what April Fools
was on this podcast network.
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:I
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:the like.
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:Third of our audience that also
listens to Who are You, you
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:are in for a treat tomorrow.
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:Don't tell anyone in the discord,
just let it be a surprise.
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:Benjamin: Oh, that's exciting.
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:Xhafer: unacknowledged this year.
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:Um, or even I think we're
putting up the title like it's
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:Razor and everything as well.
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:Like we're just gonna completely not say
anything this time and just let it be and
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:Benjamin: nice.
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:Xhafer: the episode it takes for
you to realize what's going on.
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:Uh,
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:Benjamin: Yeah.
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:So this week, uh, we are reviewing
the Detroit Bridgeton experience.
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:Xhafer: No,
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:that, that went viral, right?
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:Benjamin: Yes, it did.
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:It was on the front page of the BBC.
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:Xhafer: Yeah.
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:you went right?
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:Benjamin: No, no.
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:Xhafer: We know people who went
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:Benjamin: We did know people who went.
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:Xhafer: Okay.
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:Benjamin: Uh, no.
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:Uh, so th uh, this week
we do not have Victor.
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:It is just me, Ben,
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:Xhafer: Me.
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:Benjamin: and we are talking
Bridgeton, season three, episode four,
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:Xhafer: Mm-hmm.
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:Benjamin: episode four.
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:I dunno.
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:This one probably actually
has an episode title.
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:Xhafer: is the name of this episode.
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:Um.
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:gonna call it now, uh, Beth put in a
prediction for something you'd say.
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:So if that happens, I'll call it out.
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:Benjamin: All right.
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:Was it making a joke about the
Detroit Bridgeton experience?
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:Xhafer: It was not, otherwise I would've
already had to have sounded the horns.
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:So, uh, I have not
watched Eddie Bridgeton.
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:Benjamin: I have not either.
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:Xhafer: Um.
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:I kept waiting to find out it
was a death stranding prequel.
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:Very disappointed that the Bridger
tins are not related to Sam Bridges.
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:Uh, but you know, it's fine.
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:Uh, I have no experience with
this show except knowing that
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:it is horny and on Netflix.
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:That's, that's all.
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:I got
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:Benjamin: Didn't even
seem particularly horny.
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:I don't know.
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:Uh.
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:Xhafer: I mean.
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:I felt like I, I know 'cause I've walked
in on scenes before, as Beth was watching,
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:that there are definitely hor episodes.
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:Uh, this one was chosen as a good
baseline because it, it felt like I
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:could mostly know what was going on
without having seen the other seasons.
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:And also, this is an
iconic episode, apparently.
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:Um, one of the big ones, it's
your Ozzy, Manus or whatever.
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:It's the worst one.
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:This is a big one.
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:Benjamin: Feel like, oh, this
is a culmination of some stuff.
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:But it also, I, I, uh, I was watching
this with Glo who has watched the show
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:and, uh, I think you really need some
of the setup for some of this payoff.
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:'cause I'm just like, I
think everyone in this sucks
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:Xhafer: There's
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:Benjamin: I haven't been in.
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:Xhafer: that I enjoyed in this show.
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:Benjamin: Yeah, I haven't been endeared
to you over three seasons to see that
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:you have now hit the pit, you know, of,
of you know, oh, this is a, a cathartic
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:climax, and now we're returning to a, a
new future that we've been longing for.
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:I'm just like seeing the people at
their worst before the turn, and I'm
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:just like, I don't like any of you.
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:Xhafer: Oh
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:Um, so we open on the
feather tins, feathering
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:Benjamin: Yes.
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:Xhafer: checking in
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:Benjamin: Uh,
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:Xhafer: pen,
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:Benjamin: penal.
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:Yep.
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:Xhafer: who has a dude dropping
off a plant because the bridger
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:tins have done some matchmaking.
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:Now, I
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:Benjamin: so.
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:Xhafer: next to me at this she tried
to explain a couple of things and I had
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:to stop her, I did get character names.
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:Thank fuck.
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:Benjamin: I, I, I, I did what I
usually do, which is I'm very careful.
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:I open up IMDB, then immediately click
episode guide and go to this episode.
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:Xhafer: Yeah.
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:Benjamin: really matter for this one,
but like, I never want to see like,
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:you know, Ben Curley three episodes and
then I know like, oh, he going to die.
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:Uh, and then I try and
like match up, okay.
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:Does this person's I-M-D-V-B photo look
anything like their, uh, their character?
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:Xhafer: Yeah, it's tough to say sometimes.
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:Benjamin: but, uh, this, this
guy is, is trying to put the
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:moves on on uh, Pinal Lo.
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:And everybody's kinda like, really?
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:She's even to her.
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:Yeah.
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:Xhafer: I, I, I don't know.
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:Benjamin: Yeah.
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:Xhafer: Um, I don't know if there have
been, like, if it's a a, a status thing.
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:If the feathering tins are like
beneath the Britons or something, um,
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:Benjamin: Well, and this is Lord Debling.
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:I don't know.
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:Xhafer: well, yeah, it's just,
I don't know, like the general
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:standing of everyone except for
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:Benjamin: Right.
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:Xhafer: is obviously the
queen and also a badass.
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:We'll talk about that wig
at the end of the episode.
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:Uh, yeah.
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:Benjamin: Also making a great, uh.
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:Argument for why queens
are bad or just monarchs.
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:It's just like you have a country to rent.
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:It's like, yeah, but I want
to play with my dollies.
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:Those, those are people,
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:Xhafer: that way.
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:Benjamin: no, they're not.
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:Uh,
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:Xhafer: Right.
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:Does she have a country to run?
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:I don't know.
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:Maybe she's just a figurehead.
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:I
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:Benjamin: that doesn't seem like it.
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:Xhafer: They say they're in London
and everyone's got these titles,
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:but also like you could tell me
that this is just like a fantasy
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:place where only these people exist
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:Benjamin: It does seem like that there
are, if you do not have a title and a
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:huge amount of money, you do not exist
in this world unless you are a toot.
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:Um,
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:Xhafer: yeah.
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:Benjamin: there are swe and that's it.
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:Uh.
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:Xhafer: Ugh.
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:Uh, yeah.
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:So, Lord darling, I actually
did not write his name down.
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:Uh, I call him Dudley.
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:I just called him.
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:Lord gonna freeze to death the
entire time as we find out, he is
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:obsessed with the Northwest passage
and this is like:
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:He is not gonna have a good time.
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:He's very dead,
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:uh, over it.
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:Bridgeton Manor.
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:Francesca is expecting a
marquee to come calling.
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:Benjamin: Oh yeah.
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:Xhafer: Uh, Colin gets asked by
mom about new oven stuff and we get
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:some voiceover from our narrator.
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:Lady.
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:Whistle down refers to
us as Dear Gentle Reader.
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:Benjamin: Yep.
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:Xhafer: Uh,
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:hey.
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:Benjamin: I kept hoping.
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:Xhafer: that makes
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:Benjamin: Yeah,
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:Xhafer: somehow.
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:Benjamin: kept hoping at some point
our, uh, narrator would have quasi,
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:uh, omnipotent powers, like the
narrator from George of the Jungle.
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:Uh, but she never engages with the story.
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:There's always a reso a uh,
uh, a level of remove, uh.
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:That was, it's Julie Andrews, right?
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:Xhafer: I have no idea.
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:Benjamin: Okay.
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:It is Julie Andrews.
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:Okay.
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:I'm not crazy.
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:Uh, I was just like,
I recognize the voice.
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:Xhafer: Yeah.
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:Um,
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:Benjamin: I want her to
try and teach, uh uh oh.
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:Dang it.
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:Why am I blanking on her name?
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:Uh, princess Diaries.
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:Uh.
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:Xhafer: haven't seen it,
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:Benjamin: Oh, okay.
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:Dang it.
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:Xhafer: I was a question about it on, um,
actually last week, but that's about as
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:far as my princess diary's knowledge goes.
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:Benjamin: I'm mad because I
watched it with Glow four.
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:Cool.
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:Boys don't cry at rom-coms.
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:Uh, Anne Hathaway, uh, 'cause she teaches
Anne Hathaway how to be a princess.
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:Xhafer: Ah, um, we get an out of
context hookup that meant nothing to me.
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:Benjamin: Nope.
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:Means absolutely nothing.
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:Now, later when they're being coy with
each other, or the third time we see these
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:characters and they're banging again.
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:Xhafer: Yeah.
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:Uh, Lord Anderson is in town with
visiting his sister's estate she
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:feels he's in town for a good time.
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:Not a long time.
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:Benjamin: Yep.
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:Xhafer: Uh, I think Lord Anderson
would've something to say about that
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:different, but not in this scene.
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:Uh, and then we're waiting
for the marqui to show up.
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:Lord Kil Martin comes a
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:Benjamin: Yes,
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:Xhafer: Uh, we learned that they
met at a Hawkins Ball, and if that
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:wasn't a Sadie Hawkins dance, I
hope it was a Sophie b Hawkins dance
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:Damn.
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:Benjamin: I mean, if, uh, if they
did not do a harpsichord cover
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:of that during the Hawkins Ball,
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:Xhafer: Yeah,
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:Benjamin: the point?
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:Why are we here?
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:Xhafer: right.
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:I want to go watch that, just
that scene to know if they did it.
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:And that might be enough to go, okay,
maybe I can give this show a little bit
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:of a chance, but if it's not that level of
self-aware, I'm probably not interested.
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:Benjamin: Yeah.
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:I.
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:Xhafer: Uh, let
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:Benjamin: Uh,
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:Xhafer: in the Discord listeners.
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:Benjamin: yeah.
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:Uh, I do appreciate that Francesca
and, uh, our, uh, Lord, uh, Earl
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:Kilmartin, they're just like
chilling, sitting silently like,
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:this is kind of nice, and everybody
else is just like, what going on?
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:Xhafer: Yeah, they, uh, they
sit in silence for like a minute
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:when Lord's Samani shows up.
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:And then, uh, we get a, uh,
the ridges are having a B plot
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:Benjamin: Yes.
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:Xhafer: confused by this.
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:Benjamin: Yeah.
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:So apparently this guy, it seems
like he is a, a poor who has
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:risen above his station through
owning a, a, a gentleman's club.
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:But then he doesn't want to give
up on the thing that got him.
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:Elevated.
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:He's like, but I still
wanna run the book, the bar.
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:And it's like, no, you're, you're gentry.
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:Now you don't work.
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:And something else has gone wrong.
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:And I think, I'm gonna say last time
on, they discovered that when we end
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:into club, we all fam and then two
people died and it caused a massive
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:inheritance issue because we're all fam
and now we have to smash the end tail.
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:Xhafer: I thought Netflix shows were
supposed to tell you the character's
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:names and what they were doing at all
times, so that way you could not pay
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:attention and still watch the show.
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:And I'm very disappointed that
this one time that's not true.
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:Benjamin: I, I don't think
this was designed for.
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:All right.
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:What writers?
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:New.
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:New, new directive.
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:Everyone needs to be able to follow
every episode, assuming they've
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:never watched any of it before.
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:Xhafer: Uh, after this we
go to some guy's library.
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:Uh, Penelope's mom tells her to be dumb,
so the Lord she's courting feels smart.
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:Benjamin: Yeah.
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:Xhafer: have one note here.
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:I.
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:Benjamin: I can't hear what, that's
not picking up what you're doing.
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:Xhafer: not picking up me booing.
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:Benjamin: No.
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:Xhafer: fucking, oh my God.
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:Fucking, I'm booing so hard.
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:Boo.
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:No, it cuts out immediately.
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:It must think that it's white noise.
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:Fucking, I don't even have like
cancellation or anything on, let me boo
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:Benjamin: Yep.
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:Xhafer: Yeah, no.
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:Immediately cut.
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:I had a whole bit planned with like
timed breathing and everything.
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:God damnit.
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:Fucking, okay, this is like, to,
to open up the curtain a little.
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:This is our second time
using just script rooms.
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:my sec or Ben, your first time.
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:My second time.
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:Dear to script, I know you're capturing
this audio to improve your algorithms.
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:This sucks compared to squad.
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:Squad cast.
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:Give a squad, cast back.
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:Fuck.
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:You
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:Benjamin: Yeah.
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:But here as.
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:Like,
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:uh, ES Jair was alluding to She, uh, she
was like, why are you reading a book?
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:No man will want to come and
talk to a girl who's reading.
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:And it's like,
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:Xhafer: what
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:Benjamin: shut up.
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:Uh, but also she's like, it's a
book about the Northwest passage
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:and that's where he's going.
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:And I'm just like, oh man, he's going
western from the Bearing Strait.
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:'cause that's was there, it was
said to lie the sea root to the
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:Orient for which so many died.
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:Xhafer: He's so fucked.
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:He's so
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:Benjamin: yeah, he's going to die.
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:Xhafer: He's
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:Benjamin: He's going to freeze
to death, and maybe there will
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:be polar bear smoke monsters.
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:If you've watched the terror, uh.
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:Xhafer: Anyways, Penelope and one of the
bridge boys are always looking at each
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:other while having other conversations.
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:Uh, my notes here say just bang already.
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:Benjamin: See, I dis, I,
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:Xhafer: there.
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:Benjamin: I felt so bad for, uh,
for Debling, where it's just like,
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:Hey, I'm really like trying to suss
out, like, Hey, you wanna marry me?
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:And this girl is just like.
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:Only looking at some other
guy and it was like, oh man.
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:Like, you deserve better, dude.
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:Uh,
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:Xhafer: like not freezing to death.
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:Benjamin: yeah.
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:Well, I mean, don't steal a man's dreams.
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:Uh, but he wants to be married
before he freezes to death, uh,
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:after eating bad canned food.
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:Xhafer: Uh, after this we see Colin, and
what I'm guessing is this show's version
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:of litter, little Finger's, brothel.
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:Benjamin: Yeah, he sits on the cut couch.
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:Xhafer: he sits on the cut couch.
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:Beth looked at me just like she looked
up from the thing that she was doing,
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:looked at me and goes, welcome to Bridger.
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:There are titties.
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:Benjamin: Okay.
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:Um.
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:Xhafer: Yeah, it's just, I, I,
I don't, I was, I don't know
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:what I was expecting, I guess.
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:I mean, there's Netflix, there's
no reason they can't, I, I never
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:think of Netflix as an HBO.
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:I always think of it as more of like a TNT
in terms of what they can get away with.
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:Uh, yeah, I, I guess it's a, if they
could be skin ax if they wanted.
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:Uh, let's see here.
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:Francesca runs into Lord Kill Martin
in the streets, and it's hella awkward.
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:Benjamin: We find out he has
about as much game as I do.
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:Uh, they, they are, they are.
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:Uh, she's like, oh, hey, so,
uh, what, what, uh, lets you
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:stop, uh, and talk to me today.
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:And he's like, you stopped me.
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:Uh
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:uh, and she's clearly like.
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:Give me a sign you're interested, dude.
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:And he's like, so music, that's a thing.
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:And she makes a comment about how, oh,
I don't like how he's playing the song.
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:He's playing it too fast.
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:It should be slowed down.
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:And he immediately like runs away like
the Paladin in Dungeons and Dragons
370
:among Thieves, just like straight line g.
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:Xhafer: Do you know that that
scene was 95% improvised?
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:No, no.
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:In Dungeons and Dragons, when he walks
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:Benjamin: Oh no.
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:Xhafer: they told him to just
keep walking and they'll call
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:cut when they've got enough.
377
:And he was only expecting to walk for
like four or five steps and they just kept
378
:filming and everyone else is ad-libbing.
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:All of that stuff, all improvised,
like all the lines as he's walking
380
:away about the rock and stuff and they
just had no idea what he was gonna do
381
:and he just went right over the rock.
382
:It was, fuck that.
383
:That's one of the funniest
scenes of that fucking movie.
384
:Benjamin: It absolutely is.
385
:It's great.
386
:That movie is so good.
387
:I'm sad it didn't do better.
388
:Xhafer: Yeah.
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:should watch it again.
390
:It's been a minute.
391
:let's see here.
392
:Eloise checks in on Sidia
and her dad is a dick.
393
:Benjamin: Yeah.
394
:Xhafer: And then
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:Benjamin: Uh.
396
:Xhafer: in what I wrote
down the men's locker room.
397
:Uh, I know that it's not a men's
locker room, but everyone here
398
:is all like, yeah, I've had sex.
399
:I'm so cool.
400
:I boned my girlfriend in
Canada, she's totes reel.
401
:You'll just never meet her anyways.
402
:My girlfriend who lives in
Canada, her name is Alberta.
403
:She lives in Vancouver.
404
:Benjamin: Yeah.
405
:Oh yeah.
406
:Bang to this girl, LA Cross Greece.
407
:And it's like,
408
:uh, and this is, uh.
409
:I've, I've blanked on their names.
410
:This is the, the club owned by
the guy who's having problems.
411
:I, I hate all of these people.
412
:Uh, they're being gross and I'm just like,
you all should meet my friend Madam Laine.
413
:Uh, it made me very sad.
414
:England's never had a a
French style revolution.
415
:Xhafer: Oh man.
416
:They just are ending the hereditary
nature in the House of Lords.
417
:Like this year they passed a law about it.
418
:Benjamin: which then, what is it now?
419
:Xhafer: Well, it's already, there's
already a handful of elected
420
:seats in the House of Lords.
421
:Um, but they're saying, I, they, I,
I think it was all, but like 90 seats
422
:in the House of Lords are elected the,
it's just like there's a handful of like
423
:Dukes and Earls that are passing it on.
424
:Barons and stuff, now they're
all the last generation when they
425
:die or doesn't pass on to their
kids, it moves over to, elections.
426
:Benjamin: So it'll be just
a different elected body.
427
:Xhafer: Yeah.
428
:Benjamin: But what about the Duke of Earl?
429
:Xhafer: I, I don't know the Duke of Earl.
430
:Benjamin: No, you don't know
your, your fifties bebop.
431
:Xhafer: No, not,
432
:Benjamin: Okay.
433
:Xhafer: that one.
434
:Benjamin: Alright.
435
:Xhafer: Sorry.
436
:Benjamin: Uh, so we have, uh, debling
has come to talk to, uh, Polly Walker.
437
:That's, uh.
438
:Penelope's mom and, uh, ask
for her permission to ask
439
:for Penelope to marry him.
440
:And he's real weird when he leaves.
441
:Uh, it's just like, what's going on?
442
:Xhafer: It's like there's
nothing hidden here.
443
:He had told her as much.
444
:She was all like, well, you gotta
ask my mom like two scenes ago.
445
:Like
446
:regardless, uh, she goes
and talks to her mom.
447
:She's like, of course.
448
:I said, yes, you.
449
:It's not like you're holding out for love.
450
:You fool.
451
:Benjamin: Yeah.
452
:Xhafer: is like, love is
a many splendor thing.
453
:Love lifts us up where we belong.
454
:All you need is love.
455
:Benjamin: Uh, but also we get this
like, Hey, stop reading books.
456
:Love is Not, or life
is not a Romance novel.
457
:Uh, which this is one of those things
where it's like, this show is a romance
458
:novel, so it's gonna work out different
459
:Xhafer: It's got a narrator in everything.
460
:Benjamin: It, but it is one of
those things where it's like.
461
:The mom is a jerk, but it's also like not
terrible advice for a real human being,
462
:but it's just like, Hey, uh, how about
you talk to the guy who's like nice to
463
:you all of the time and don't wait for the
asshole to make a grand romantic gesture.
464
:Uh,
465
:Xhafer: You're just waiting
to get love bombed right now.
466
:Benjamin: yeah.
467
:Xhafer: Yikes.
468
:Benjamin: This is going to lead
into a, uh, toxic feedback loop.
469
:Xhafer: Yeah.
470
:Let's
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:Benjamin: Uh, Colin now
has too many feelings.
472
:Xhafer: Yes, the weight of a tub.
473
:Uh.
474
:Benjamin: couldn't sleep
with the prostitutes mama.
475
:Xhafer: Fuck.
476
:the fucking worst.
477
:Benjamin: I know.
478
:And then his mom is like, you've been
living your life to please others.
479
:I'm like, he didn't
please those s workers.
480
:Uh, he.
481
:Xhafer: No, no, he didn't.
482
:Benjamin: It's also like I haven't seen
him be nice to anybody this whole episode.
483
:Xhafer: It's kind of a shit.
484
:Yeah.
485
:Benjamin: Yeah.
486
:I, I even wrote in my, my, uh,
notes, like, he seems like a p.
487
:Xhafer: Yeah.
488
:But, uh, he hears Penelope might
be getting proposed to, and
489
:he just, he can't handle that.
490
:He might have to go to
the ballet or whatever.
491
:Benjamin: Then we go to the Queen's
party where uh, everybody is sitting and
492
:watching a Live Little Boots Music video.
493
:Xhafer: Ha.
494
:Yeah.
495
:Queen Charlotte has a music
box in her fucking wig.
496
:Benjamin: Yes.
497
:Xhafer: This thing is absurd.
498
:I love it.
499
:Benjamin: Regency Hairstyles man, like
they had live birds in people's wigs.
500
:Xhafer: I mean, as the guy
who had birds on his hat, I
501
:appreciate game, recognized game.
502
:Benjamin: Yeah.
503
:Xhafer: uh, let's see.
504
:Uh.
505
:Lady Bridger tin and Lord
Anderson talk about matchmaking.
506
:Benjamin: Mm-hmm.
507
:Xhafer: They gonna bone?
508
:Benjamin: It seems like it,
509
:Xhafer: Yeah.
510
:Benjamin: talking about, oh,
we both have dead spouses.
511
:I had a love match.
512
:I didn't, but we grew to love each other.
513
:Uh, well maybe in my second act.
514
:Uh, and then we watch fancy people
dance among what our clearly
515
:looted columns from Greece.
516
:'cause this is 18th century London.
517
:All this shit is stolen.
518
:Um.
519
:Xhafer: Yeah.
520
:Uh, let's see.
521
:Eloise and Sidia hang out
despite her dad's wishes.
522
:Benjamin: Uh, that reminds me, I want
to ask, why do you think he doesn't want
523
:his daughter hanging out with Eloise?
524
:Let's get weird with it.
525
:Xhafer: the, oh, okay.
526
:I was gonna, the bridger's seem
to have like a reputation of like,
527
:like they, they are, besides a
focal point of the story, they seem
528
:to be like a well-regarded family.
529
:Right?
530
:So part of me is all like, it
has to be something with just
531
:Eloise and not like family drama.
532
:'cause if it was family drama, they
probably wouldn't have let her in,
533
:Benjamin: Mm-hmm.
534
:Xhafer: you know.
535
:But when she comes to
visit the first time.
536
:So, I don't know.
537
:Um,
538
:uh, she spilled something
on the mom at a big dinner.
539
:Ruined a
540
:Benjamin: See, I was gonna
say, there's a rumor that she
541
:once spoke to a Welshman and.
542
:Xhafer: Yeah.
543
:Bringing back that old,
uh, that old rivalry, Ben.
544
:the people of the bucket hats.
545
:I don't understand.
546
:This seems conflicting.
547
:Benjamin: It is not my prejudices.
548
:This is Regency London.
549
:Xhafer: Of
550
:Benjamin: You cannot be seen with her.
551
:She knows a Welshman.
552
:Xhafer: uh, Lord Kil Martin makes a
gesture to Francesca that causes her
553
:to just be all like, I'm going home.
554
:Bye.
555
:Benjamin: Yeah.
556
:Xhafer: And the queen is super pissed
'cause she just likes to watch.
557
:Benjamin: Yeah, she's, she's up
on her, her, her cuck platform,
558
:uh, being like, dance dollies.
559
:He brought her lemonade, but
she's not drinking the lemonade.
560
:Why is she not drinking the lemonade?
561
:Uh, it's because Kill Martin has
arrived and he's like, Hey, I ran
562
:off, but I was getting this for you.
563
:And it was like, oh, okay.
564
:I, I can see exactly what happened here.
565
:He went and rearranged that
music they were talking about,
566
:Xhafer: course.
567
:Benjamin: uh, and she's just like,
oh, hey, this guy actually seems
568
:interested in me instead of interested
in fancy queen machinations.
569
:Xhafer: Uh, let's see here.
570
:Um,
571
:Benjamin: We have some stuff where
572
:Xhafer: hella
573
:Benjamin: Penelope's sisters,
other girls who live in the house,
574
:they are arguing about being pres.
575
:Xhafer: Uh, Colin shows up late.
576
:His boys are like, Hey, after party?
577
:And he's all like, no,
I'm gonna go to the thing.
578
:And he jumps in the middle of
a dance, uh, with Penelope.
579
:Uh.
580
:And, uh, Chris said, uh, dances
with Lord gonna freeze to death
581
:Benjamin: Yep.
582
:Xhafer: Colin and Penelope talk.
583
:Colin tries to dissuade Penelope.
584
:she chases down.
585
:Lord gonna freeze to death.
586
:he's all like, look, you're, I'm not
doing this because you clearly love Colin.
587
:Benjamin: He was looking for like,
Hey, I'm going to be like off
588
:doing my own thing, and I'm looking
for a wife who is also happy,
589
:chilling and doing her own thing.
590
:I do not want wife.
591
:Pining after the boy next door
going to bang him while I'm gone.
592
:Uh,
593
:Xhafer: Yeah.
594
:Benjamin: I thought you were
a self-actualized human being.
595
:Uh, you still have some stuff you
need on the Maslow's hierarchy that
596
:I'm not going to give you, and so
you're going to be hunting elsewhere.
597
:Uh, and like, I get it.
598
:Um, he's just like, Hey, I,
she, I thought you'd just be
599
:like chilling the library wife.
600
:Not, uh, you know.
601
:Longing for romantic tris wife.
602
:This ain't gonna work out.
603
:Xhafer: Let's see.
604
:Francesca plays kil Martin's
gift as we aforementioned.
605
:It's that musical number
rearranged to her preferences.
606
:Uh, Colin chases down Penelope
and jumps in her carriage.
607
:Benjamin: We also get a voiceover
here where, uh, Julie Andrews is
608
:like, sometimes the haw must, you
know, overrides the head, but the hawk
609
:knows what's, uh, what the body needs.
610
:And I'm just like, have you ever seen
the seven, how 17 year olds date?
611
:Uh.
612
:Xhafer: Yeah, so they, they talk in this
carriage and they start to get down.
613
:Benjamin: Yeah,
614
:Xhafer: This carriage is a rocking,
so don't come and knocking.
615
:Benjamin: he gives her the
old Northumbrian surprise.
616
:And as much as I haven't liked Penelope
this episode, I'm just like Penelope.
617
:No.
618
:He's going to give you the syphilis
he's gotten from all the sex workers.
619
:This is the 18 hundreds in London.
620
:He's riddled with it.
621
:Xhafer: Yeah.
622
:So, uh, they, uh, they get
freaky in this carriage
623
:Benjamin: It also seems that,
uh, so I'm gonna say last time
624
:on this has been a three season
long or four, like in the, uh,
625
:Xhafer: We're on three.
626
:Yeah.
627
:Benjamin: uh, four season long.
628
:Uh, she's all that scenario
629
:where he like.
630
:Xhafer: she come down the stairs, Ben?
631
:Benjamin: And it's like, wait,
oh no, she's actually beautiful.
632
:And, but this was all a, a, a bet,
you know, sort of thing where it's,
633
:except she knew, she was like, Hey,
can you help me find a husband?
634
:And like, didn't know
it was going to be him.
635
:Um, but like, he's just like,
oh no, I put in all the work and
636
:made her now the, the talk of the
London season, but I want her now.
637
:Uh, it's just like.
638
:Okay, man, you're weird and gross
and I don't like either of you.
639
:Uh.
640
:Uh, but, uh, then he asks like,
Hey, uh, can we, uh, have the
641
:carriage ride us around again?
642
:And, and then, uh, invites her inside.
643
:Uh.
644
:Xhafer: Yeah.
645
:And that's the episode.
646
:Alright, well, uh, we
don't have dice to roll.
647
:going back to, uh, Abbey next week.
648
:Uh, we don't have
predictions to make, I guess.
649
:Uh,
650
:Benjamin: mean,
651
:Xhafer: I'm not gonna watch
any more Bridgeton, uh,
652
:Benjamin: yeah.
653
:Give me, give me one storyline
prediction for where you like.
654
:Xhafer: prediction, um, Anderson and Lady
Bridger Tin start to date, but she finds
655
:the grief of her dead husband be too much.
656
:uh, and as Beth go over my shoulder
right now, it's just like, Nope,
657
:Benjamin: No, it ain't
that kind of show, man.
658
:They bang.
659
:Yeah.
660
:Xhafer: They bang in.
661
:Okay.
662
:They bang in.
663
:Okay.
664
:Confirmation.
665
:They bang in.
666
:How about you, Ben?
667
:What's your one story prediction?
668
:So Beth can make awkward sex phases
over my shoulder while you say it.
669
:Benjamin: Uh, my prediction is that the,
the one girl who, I forget her name,
670
:but was Eloise's friend, she marries
debling and that he absolutely dies.
671
:Searching for the Northw
Northwest passage.
672
:He freezes to death eaten by a
bear, hooped out by an Eskimo.
673
:Or no shit.
674
:Eskimo.
675
:We don't say that anymore.
676
:Xhafer: No, we don't
677
:Benjamin: Yeah.
678
:Xhafer: cool.
679
:Benjamin: Uh, eaten by a polar bear.
680
:Polar bear gets eaten
by, by, uh, an Inuit.
681
:Xhafer: Mm-hmm.
682
:Benjamin: poop twice
683
:Xhafer: Okay.
684
:Twice.
685
:Twice.
686
:Benjamin: 'cause a seal eats the poop.
687
:Xhafer: Oh, yeah.
688
:Yeah.
689
:That's th th poopy twice.
690
:Poopy.
691
:Th poopy.
692
:Doesn't matter.
693
:Anyways, gonna freeze to death.
694
:Th rice poopy.
695
:That's your prediction.
696
:Benjamin: Absolutely.
697
:Xhafer: All right.
698
:We have a confirmation from Beth.
699
:Benjamin: But he, they
definitely bang before he dies.
700
:Xhafer: oh yeah, for sure.
701
:They bang.
702
:Oh yeah.
703
:Um, Well.
704
:That's that listener.
705
:Um, don't know.
706
:You got anything else
you wanna talk about?
707
:Ben,
708
:Benjamin: I don't know.
709
:I,
710
:Xhafer: you wanna vamp
711
:Benjamin: this is, this is interesting
just because it's an in I, I, I.
712
:In my head, I am enjoying the
juxtaposition between this and Downton.
713
:There is no downstairs
714
:Xhafer: Right.
715
:Yeah.
716
:Benjamin: None of our servants or
characters, like if this was Downton,
717
:whoever our carriage driver was, would
have two whole scenes where they almost
718
:have a conversation about they were
banging in the back of my carriage.
719
:Xhafer: Yeah.
720
:Benjamin: Like they wouldn't
have a conversation, but they'd
721
:almost have a conversation
because this is Downton Abbey.
722
:Xhafer: Yeah.
723
:Benjamin: Uh, and
724
:Xhafer: I, I did feel like we were
missing the, the down below perspective,
725
:uh, in this servants are potted plants
or at, at most your potted plant.
726
:worst, you are dressed completely
in black and moving props
727
:around as the scene changes.
728
:Benjamin: yeah.
729
:Xhafer: is your, that is your role here.
730
:Uh.
731
:Benjamin: In fact, at one point
Anderson makes his, makes the
732
:servants laugh, and his sister is
like, don't treat them like people.
733
:Xhafer: Yeah, it's fucking weird.
734
:Well, I guess that's that.
735
:Uh, we'll see you next week for Briton.
736
:Season six, episode two,
I think Downton, sorry.
737
:Yeah.
738
:Bridgeton doesn't have six seasons.
739
:We're Downton.
740
:I think it was season six, episode
two, whatever we said two weeks ago.
741
:I don't have it fucking
in front of me right now.
742
:But before we get there, we should
of course say thank you to Ripe for
743
:providing our lovely theme music.
744
:Thank you so much.
745
:Hey, play the game.
746
:Deluxe edition.
747
:Just dropped four new tracks.
748
:Go check 'em out.
749
:Benjamin: They're really cool.
750
:Xhafer: They are,
751
:uh.
752
:Benjamin: uh, feel free, please
leave us a review wherever you,
753
:uh, collect your podcasts, whatever
they, whatever catches them.
754
:Uh, and, uh, please share the
show, share the, uh, share the,
755
:uh, who are you share, uh, cool
girls, you know, grow the community
756
:Xhafer: Get on that
757
:Benjamin: and will.
758
:Xhafer: We fucking love the discord.
759
:Just don't talk about how the
April Fools prank still happened.
760
:If they don't listen to this
show and let that be a surprise
761
:for everyone who's watching.
762
:Who are you tomorrow?
763
:Benjamin: Yeah.
764
:Xhafer: yeah.
765
:And, uh, I guess we'll
see you next time on.
766
:Last time on, stole it.