In this episode of One Small Change, host Yvonne McCoy is joined by Orly Amor, who shares her transformative journey from property management to becoming a motivational speaker. Through personal anecdotes and insights, Orly emphasizes the importance of overcoming fears, asking for what you want, and sharing your story to inspire others. The conversation delves into mindset shifts, core values, and the courage needed to step out of one's comfort zone.

Guest Bio:

Orly Amor is a sought-after business coach for public speakers who focuses on helping speakers get paid for sharing their message. With a background spanning over 25 years in property management, Orly's journey into motivational speaking began unexpectedly but led her to discover the impact of sharing her personal story. She is also the founder of a foundation dedicated to helping rescue victims of human trafficking, further showcasing her commitment to service and community.

Chapters:

00:00 "Leap of Faith: Embracing Survival"

05:58 External Expectations Shape Mindset

07:06 Mindset Mastery: Self-Reflection Tool

12:25 Genuine Networking and Collaboration Benefits

13:18 Mindset: Key to Entrepreneurial Resilience

17:25 "Ask to Achieve in Business"

21:08 "Finding Purpose Through Self-Reflection"

25:07 Healing Centers for Trafficking Victims

27:00 "Subscribe, Share, and Grow Together"

Main Quote by the Guest:

"If you have a plan A and a plan B, your plan B will become your plan A."

Links to Guest's Website:

[FREE MASTERCLASS]

How to Make $150K in Your First Year of Public Speaking

https://crm.meetorlyamor.com/pga-masterclass

Welcome to the One Small Change, and I'm thrilled that you've decided to

take some time to embark on this journey of exploration and transformation

with us. And I'm your host, Yvonne McCoy, and I bring almost thirty years

of entrepreneurial experience, and I bring a passion for

discovering growth through the power of seemingly small change.

And, you know, entrepreneurship is a journey, and it's a journey of

exploration and inspiration. And this week we are talking

to the amazing Orly Aman. Orly

Amor. Amor. I'm sorry. I I didn't I thought I had it, and I should've

I should've checked. So anybody who's listened to this podcast knows

that my my signature thing is that I screw up every speaker's

name. So,

Orly, you know, you've got some I've heard you before. I've

been to your workshops. So you've got some amazing wisdom to share with

people, and it's stuff that they can use both in their personal and

professional life. So tell us about the small change that happened to

you that helps you to do what you do. And then, you know, I

know you're gonna give us some tips and stuff and a free gift at the

end. So, go for it. Tell us your

amazing story. So it's kind of a funny

story because we always think that we need to know everything or

we need to, have everything right.

And I was in property management for, like, twenty five years. And

one day, one of my friends asked me to speak at a women's shelter. And

I was already speaking in the world of property management, so it was

kind of weird that she asked me that. And so I said to her,

what should I speak about, property management? Because that was the first thing that

came to my mind. And she said, no, silly. I want you to come and

tell your story. And I literally refused because

I didn't know where she was going with this, but,

she called me every single week. I mean, everything single day for three weeks.

Sorry. That's what I wanted to say. And, she basically

just got annoying. I don't know if you ever had an annoying friend, Yvonne, because

I'm sure you did. And so after three weeks, I said to her,

listen. I don't know why you're calling me every day, but why me? Because there's

other people that speak on the same topic. Why do you want me to speak?

And she said, well, you have this bubbly personality. Everybody loves

you. When we go out to networking events, everybody hugs you. People don't even

know you hug you. And you're like a social butterfly, and you're living a lifestyle

that most people dream about. Why don't you come and give these women hope?

And the next thing I said was, well, what do I have to do to

get you off my phone? Because I was still unwilling

to tell my story. And this is everybody's story. We are

unwilling to do something when we are presented with an opportunity.

And so I relented. And three months later, I was speaking at this

women's shelter, and it's there that I met a woman that wanted to end

her life. In fact, she showed me how was she was gonna kill

herself that morning, and she was not planning to come to the shelter,

but that's where she ended up. And she heard me speak and

she decided to live and asked me to show her how.

And hence, the why we should take the chance to

take the leap of faith of whatever to do

something that is very uncomfortable. I did not wanna tell my

story. And, Yvonne, just for your audience and so that you guys know where I'm

coming from, I was a beaten up child. I was molested four times before the

age of 14. I was raped three times before the age of 22, twice

getting raped, nine months apart, left for dead. And as a result of that,

I gained a morbid amount of weight, and I had four abortions. And I was

also married to a very abusive husband, both mentally and physically. So at the end

of the day, I did not wanna share that story.

It was shame. It was criticism. It was,

you know, how people would view me or look at me or judge

me. And I think we all make decisions with this type

of judgment in mind from other people.

And so I had to change that. I think you're I think you're so right.

And and I would say that, you know, we all

have things that we're ashamed of, and they may not be as massive and as

traumatic as the things that you go on to. I mean, and I think people

people go, oh my god. This is you know, she's overcome so

much. You know, the thing that I'm afraid of is so little, so,

you know, it probably doesn't affect me that much, but it does. It

our what what we're ashamed of is significant to us.

I mean, I learned that when I I did a weight loss class, and and,

you know, part of my shame was that I was morbidly obese.

At one point, I weighed four hundred and forty pounds. Okay? And

and when I did this weight loss class, it was I wanted it to be

for people who had to lose, like, a hundred pounds, but I thought I don't

wanna put a number on it. And so I said, anybody who want

this class is for anybody who wants to lose a significant amount of

weight. And I was surprised at the number of people who wanted to

lose five or 10 pounds. And I had to go,

This is you know, their significant is not necessarily the same

as my significant, but it's still holding them back.

And I think that's true of what you're saying as well. Yeah.

Well, you know and also, it's not a competition of stories or who has been

through more the, you know, than the other. It's about

how we perceive it and how dramatic are we making it. Because

sometimes the reality of it, yes, it happened. Do

I need us to be living there? No. I don't. And,

unfortunately, we keep repeating ourselves a dialogue that

has that's keeping us stuck in the old way of doing

things, in the old story we told ourselves.

So we told ourselves that we will be criticized or dissected

or whatever and shamed, But at the end of the day, it's not even

true. And and I think the other thing that

makes makes us even more powerful is that

society has put certain expectations on us. You know? So it's not

just what's going on in your head. It's It's what the outside forces I mean,

one of the things I talk about all the time is that, you know,

a big thing for me, a big mindset for me, was that

if you did something, it was you either succeeded or you failed.

And so if I thought I was gonna fail, then I wouldn't do it. Because

in school, you get good grades for getting the right answer and doing the

right things. And when I got into business, you got

rewarded for doing the right thing. Right? And so

even though you may have this, inner dialogue going on,

a lot of that is coming actually coming from outside. I mean, do you find

that that has had an impact as well?

I think that if you have a strong mindset, you can deal with the

outside forces. The thing is that it's it's really in

an inner job. It's an inner job. Like I say to people, it's really

it's it's my inner job. And when people say, oh my god. You've been through

so much. I say, yes. It happens, but that's

about it. The story I keep telling myself is how amazing I am

and how amazing I can be to others and how,

servuable I can be to others and what is my core values and

what I want to do in this world and how much I want to accomplish

for myself because nobody's gonna give it to me.

So at the end of the day, the stories that we are talking about from

the outside is there's nothing that can really affect us. When

I do my mindset mastery program for people, the one thing I say to

them is go get a dagger, like a knife, a big one, out of

your kitchen, and put it in front of you, it on your table in

front of you or on your desk in front of you. I want you to

do that right now. And so they go do it, and they put it in

front of them on the table. And my next question is, from where

it is on the table or on the desk, can it hurt

you? And the answer is no. How can it hurt

me? It can only hurt me if I pick it up and stab myself or

if I pick it up and stab you with it. That's really where

it would hurt. Otherwise, what are it's not gonna

hurt. So what we're doing is the same thing with words and

outside forces. We're letting them in. We're letting them

affect us, and that's when it hurts. It doesn't hurt if we

don't. So you can ignore and choose what you're gonna

put inside your head and inside your heart so that it doesn't

affect you at all. And and I I absolutely agree with what

you're saying. And I think the other thing that you hit on, at one

point is your your core values and stuff. And I think when

you're making a mindset shift and and

you're trying to do step out of your comfort zone, I

think that when you make whatever you're doing bigger than yourself,

you know, that it's not all about you. It's it's how you show up

in the world and how you impact other people. And I think, you know,

one of the things that I talk about in my workshop is when you start

out as a kid, you don't know how many people you're gonna affect in your

life and how you're gonna affect them. Do you know? And it

sometimes it's just a kind word. I mean, one

of the things that happened to me was I we we were coming back on

a vacation, and there were some there was a, you know, an adult gentleman who

had a learning disability. And, when he got he was sitting in

the row of in front of us, like, on the other side. And as everybody

came onto the airplane, it's not like you're in you can

go fast. I mean, you're just standing there. Right? And he was

saying to everybody, see my fish? See the picture of my fish?

Do you know? This is the fish I caught on vacation. See and everybody

ignored this this man. And this one lady came up

and said to you know, stop. I mean, she was standing there anyway. And

she stopped and she said, oh, is that a

freshwater fish, or is that a saltwater fish? My son goes fishing.

And his face just lit up. And I thought

to myself because he had tried to talk to me earlier, and I was like,

I wanna get on the plane. I'm like, god. You know? I was like, oh

my god. What a horrible person I am. And I think

about that now. I mean, she had no idea that she

had that impact on me that that, you know, turned a mirror on me and

said, look at yourself and look at how you're showing up in the world.

Right? And it's not all about you. It's about how you

impact other people along the way. Right. Many

of the way oh, sorry. Go ahead. Oh, go ahead. You many

of the many of the things that happen to us, circumstances, events,

etcetera, every single day, we are faced with so many

things, whether it's through social media or other, and

many of them are more like more negative than other. I'm just

gonna say that that way, because whether we believe it or not, there's

so much negativity. And at the end of the day, we start

believing that we start believing that this is the norm. And we

act from a place of fear and lack instead of a place of

abundance and, and, and more and more of people

that need us. And every person we meet, like,

I say that often, I don't take anyone or anything for granted.

So if somebody talks to me, I will listen because

they needed that that moment. It wasn't about me. It wasn't even about

them. They just needed a moment. And and I get where you're

coming from. It's not that you were a horrible person, but you're going through your

own thing. And so it wasn't the right moment for

you to give your time or attention to this person, and

it's okay. Nobody needs to feel guilty about just

passing by a homeless person and not giving them a dollar.

It's not about that. It's about whenever you can give,

whenever you can, help, whenever you can listen.

And but think about the other part of this. I believe that every person we

meet is like an angel sent from God because God is not gonna come

down and give us anything. He is going to send his

messengers. And for me, that is a huge

a huge misconception of who are the people around

us, whether they're, we put them above us, below

us, whatever we're putting them as equals. I put everybody as

equals. So it's easier to talk to them and see how we

can be of service. So my three core values are integrity,

community, and service. Well, and and one of the

things that that I like about what you say is,

you know, people talk about networking. And if you go networking

to find somebody, then you're gonna walk away with nothing. But

if you go to networking to find connections and say, how can

we support each other? And, you know, I have found you know, a a

wonderful person that I think we probably both know said to me once I

was, you know, asking about something. He said, what what I found

is the better the quality of person that you work with,

the less that you have to worry about scarcity or any of those kinds of

things because they're always in a giving mode. And I find that, you

know, if you that's so true. I mean, it's just so true.

And it's not like you have an agenda like I, you know, I want to

kind of thing. You said something else, though, that that

I thought was really amazing. You were talking about your mastermind and your

mindset. I think that, you know, mindset

is probably the biggest piece for most, whether you're an entrepreneur, whether you're

a speaker, whatever. That is the biggest thing. I mean,

because I think, you know, like I said, from a societal point of

view, we are we go to school, we think we're gonna have a job or

whatever. And, you know, we come out of that into

a situation where we no longer have a marketing department or a

HR department or a whatever, t IT or whatever,

and and we're on our own. And so resilience is,

like, so important. I said, the biggest thing for me to

understand mindset was that entrepreneurship is like being in

an explorer. You know where you are, you know where you

wanna go, but you don't know what detours you're gonna have to take, you know,

what what valleys you're gonna have to go around, what rivers you're gonna have

to figure another you know, it it it's one of those things where you're constantly

adapting and making adjustments. But I think that's where the creativity

is. That's where the the learning happens.

And and so my question, I guess, is because you help people become

speakers. What is the what is the biggest mindset

that they have that's holding them back?

So first and foremost, I am not, I'm not a speaker

coach. I'm a business coach for public speakers. So I am the one

that actually wants them to get paid to speak, not the other way

around. We all have a message and we all have a way of

sharing that message. So let's get a couple of things out

of the way. If if you have a message, if you have a

message that you're passionate about, then it's the good message

for every event out there. If you are passionate

about anything, your message, then

you're a good speaker too. It's the thing is that that

that stops people is their the in the mindset world is

that they have the imposter syndrome. Oh, why would I

who would wanna pay me for this type of message? Who would wanna pay

me? I've never been even on a stage before. Who would wanna pay

me? I'm just starting out, or I don't have a book,

or I don't have a this, and I don't have a that. I mean, they

put so many things. It's like, why

would you even do that? Because none of this matters if you

only get out there and ask to to speak. Now

funny story is that I in 02/2010, and I did not know

this. Again, these are the things that show up when you show

up for yourself. I was, I was speaking all over the world,

and after my tour of seven countries, I ended up in Arlington,

Texas. And while I was there in the break room for

speakers, one of the three speakers came over to me, and one of them said

to me, aren't you Orly Amor? I said, yeah. Do I know you? Sorry. I

don't remember. And, they said, oh, no. We've never met before,

but we've seen you on the circuit. And I said, oh, that's cool. Alright.

So we started talking networking. As you know, networking is

important in any business. We can talk about that more.

But, after talking for about ten minutes, one of them said to me,

listen. I'm just curious. How did you get this gig? So I said, well, I

don't know. I called. I told them when I speak about. They paid me, and

I'm here. They all looked at me like if I had three heads. You got

paid? And I said, uh-oh. You

guys didn't? They said, no. We got our expenses paid, but we didn't get

paid. I said, well, no. I got paid, and I got my expenses paid. And

they said, well, we wanna know how you did that. And jokingly, as you

know my personality now, jokingly, I said, well, if I tell you,

I'm gonna have to charge you. But just before I could say just kidding,

they said, okay. Name your price. And I'm like, what? Oh, no. No. Hold

on a second. I don't even know what I'm doing. I'm not even coaching. Hold

on a second. So I was next to speak. So I said, I'll see you

guys later. Let's exchange business cards, and I left. But I went immediately

to see the event planner. And I said, listen. I think I just screwed

up. I just told these three guys that I got paid to be here, and

they didn't. She said, shh. You're the only one who got paid.

And I said, oh, okay. Why? And she said, well,

they didn't ask. And this brings me

to a very important thing in life, in

business, mindset. If you don't ask,

how do you want people to give you what you need? If you

don't ask, how do you wanna get clients? If you don't ask so it's not

only about how can I support you? When I go to event to networking events,

it's not about how can I support you? What do you need right now in

your business that will change the course of your business

immediately? The one thing. What is it?

And and and and most people say, well, oh, I need more clients. Well,

duh. We all need more clients. What is it that you need to

get to those clients? What is the exposure? What is the

networking or networks or groups or

people you need to have in your sphere of influence to be able

to get to those so called clients you need right now?

So it's not just about mindset. It's about knowing what to

ask for. Well, I and I think having the courage to

ask is the mindset part. But here this is what I wanna do. You've given

us some interesting nuggets, and I wanna at least make sure

people are seeing it. So one is you need to ask for what you

want. That's the first thing. Second of

all, you need to to know that

you are ahead of some people, and so

there's always gonna be some people that that need to hear your

message. Of course. You know? You know, I had someone say once,

you know, there's a there's a you know, if you're looking at experts or

whatever, you know, there's the ultimate category. And it used to be

five living presidents. Now it's only four. You know, you're never gonna be in that

group of of the living presidents. But there are plenty of people in

your in your sphere that you are gonna be able to mentor and to

help. The other thing is, I think, is to

get clear on what you're passionate about so that you can be excited

about either in your business or what you're speaking about.

So it's, you know, it's authentic and it's what I mean, I just

had I had a client the other day that she was like, I think I'm

gonna go get a higher degree in something that was totally unrelated to her

business. I'm like, okay. Let me pay devil's advocate.

Why? Why are you doing this? Right?

So do you have any other points that that that that the listeners

can put to work right away before we talk about your your free gift? Because

I wanna make sure we have time for that. The first thing I

would say to everyone, and and really it does, It

it doesn't matter at with what level you're playing because even if you're

just starting out, it's about going out of your comfort

zone. And a lot of people stay in that comfort zone

wondering what could, should, will need to happen.

And instead just taking that step. And in the act of sharing,

there's contribution. Right? You just never know whose life you're going to

change. So it whether it's yours or the people you serve. Because

by learning, by getting out there, by getting out of your comfort zone,

you might learn something that you can just share and pay it forward. And

I love the pay it forward mantra because it gets

away from any lack mentality. It gets away

from any fear. It gets away from any

doubt. You know? And you said it best. You said, just

ask. Right? But even the Bible says it. You know? Ask

and it shall be given. And even worse than that, I mean, met better than

that, not worse, better than that is it has been given

to you before you even asked. So if you believe,

great. If you don't, universe, Allah,

Buddha, I don't really care. It all comes down to

energy. And if your energy is drabby and you're trying to

have little things fix its that people do in their

business because they think that one more thing will get them the

big bucks or one more thing will get them the inference. And,

unfortunately, they're spreading themselves so thin and

in so many directions that they've lost even their own identity.

And what I wanna share with you and your audience is that you need to

bring that back to self, to have a good sit down

with me, myself, and I and ask the right questions. What do I

want? Who do I wanna be? And what do I wanna live as a

legacy? Leave as a legacy. Mhmm. Because those are the reasons we are

here, and that's our purpose. And that describes it all

in a nutshell. And, you know, when when I do my workshop, one of the

things I say is, you know, how do what do people say

about you on your one hundredth birthday? Do they say you're energetic,

that you were, you know, you're giving, you know, do your whatever? Or did

they say, well, they work, you know, a hundred hours a week? I mean, that

is not that's not the person that you wanna be. Right. You need to be

remembered for. And so I think that that's that's that's really important.

I I think I could talk to you forever. So did we so

so so did we we we Here. So

we still did we still didn't get to your your your gift.

So I invite everybody to just get on my calendar. We put a

calendar link, for you so that people can just get and

chat with me about anything and everything, their business, their life.

You know, I just love helping people, and I I truly

am available. You know? So if it's not available on my calendar, put

it as far as you want. But at the end of the day, get on

my calendar. Let's talk about where you're at, what you're doing, what

can I support you in, whether with my knowledge or

my influence, whatever it is that I can do for people? Listen. We

all started somewhere. So I hate it when people say, well, I

don't have the time or or I don't wanna ask. I

just want you to say yes. Just say yes to life,

to this. This is my gift to you, and it was given be

wholeheartedly. So take me up on it. So the thing

that I wanted to tell you is, first of all, you need to understand how

generous a gift this is. The second thing I wanna say

to you is if you can't

show up to get help, how are you gonna show up

for your clients? I mean, I just a really simple example is how

many times have there been you know, you're at a workshop or something like that,

and 40 people have signed up and only three show up. Those

three are gonna get maximum attention. You just have to raise your

hand and show up. It's not necessarily the fastest,

the smartest, the most, whatever. Right? It's

the person that shows up. And I say that all the time

to people, you know, because I was there. I would

say, what do oh, this person is so much further along. What am I gonna

say? I'm not ready. What you know, I don't have the right question. But if

you show up, they will guide you because they know what you're

going through. You don't have to prepare for it. You just have to

be you, and they will help you. So, Orly, thank you so

much. Last Yeah. Sorry. Go ahead. No. No. Go

ahead. Well, a part of my orly isms, I have a few, but one of

my orly isms is those who show up go up.

Oh, I like that. Simple. I like that. That's that simple. That doesn't show up

go up. Those who show up for themselves, for others, they just go

up because of their energy, because of their income, because

of everything they're trying to accomplish. Just show up. I love

that. I love that. Okay. So here's the weird question. When was the last time

you did something new for the first time?

That's a good one. Well, it's has to do

with being an it was an ask, but I was so scared

to ask. I have a foundation called

youaremylight.org. We are building healing centers for rescue victims of

human trafficking, sex, and labor slavery, so that we can give them back their God

given right to life, freedom, education, and autonomy. But what I wanna say by

that is that I was so afraid to ask to meet

a couple of people that are very influential and that can

help us get there faster or even open doors for

us that I didn't say it. And the first time I

did that was on the cruise I was just on, the marketers cruise. And I

talked to this lady, and I was just surrounded by ladies where we were just

talking about my foundation. And the lady in front of me

knows the person I wanna meet

personally. Like, she belongs to his mastermind, and she's like,

I'm gonna make that connection for you. So that was a first for me.

That was scary. At the same time, it was like, oh, who can help

me with that? This guy is, like, traveling the world, and nobody can catch

him even on a on an airplane. But but

I that was a first. And I I gotta tell you, it

surprised me, and I did it again on the same cruise, and somebody

else mentioned a connection that I can like, it's just

so beautiful when you ask. So I would say that was my first. It

was scary. I'm telling you it was scary because I don't like sharing it as

much as, as asking for things. I don't.

You know, I wanna be fair enough. And and once you start doing

it with asking with no expectations, you can do it more.

Thank you so much. Thank you, Yvonne.

No. Well, we're not finished quite yet because Okay. You gotta gotta

do the commercial thing, you know? Okay. You do it.

So if you've enjoyed this, I wanna make sure that you subscribe and

share this with others. And the reason that I do this

is it's a way for me to give back to what I want to be

a vibrant community and help you to fuel your quest for growth and

for impact. And, you know, we can't know everything, and so this is a

way to bring in all kinds of people who have made small changes that have

helped their business grow. So I hope you'll join me again on the one small

change so that you can go through this. And if you haven't been to the

first episodes you haven't been to the first episodes, I want you

to take a look and, hear the first episodes

and see what I'm trying to do, but also see who are there other people

that are there that you can get some input from.

Orly, what are your last words of wisdom? What we what you know?

Besides the when you when you show up, you go up, which I love, what

else have you got for us? Give us another one. So another,

another one that I tell people because they wanna be perfect, especially for our

perfectionists out there. Does a flower need to say that she's

pretty? No.

She just is. So be you.

Do you. Be your own agent. Be your

own trailblazer. Be your own stay in your own lane.

You know? Because it those will those people, especially

entrepreneurs who have a plan a and then they have a plan b and a

plan c, what I tell people, and that's another Orleanism,

if you have a plan a and a plan b, your plan b

will become your plan a. Careful. Careful.

Absolutely. Alright, people. It the time

went way too fast, but I want you to remember that what I always say

is the change is simple, but it's not always easy. It requires

courage, resilience, and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone, and we

talked about that today for sure. So I will hope you will continue to join

me on the one small change as we embark on this journey. Until the

next time, stay curious. Orly, thank you so

much. Thank you for having me. Appreciate it.