Eplerian Life Philosophy for Building a Global Civilization of Kindness
Dr. Gary Epler – Know where you’re thinking from moment by moment. Be human by thinking from your heart with kindness and think from the mind with creativity to help others.
Joan – What do you mean, be human?
Think like a human from your heart with kindness and the mind to help others. Don’t think like a non-human from the primitive brain with anger and stress.
What’s the difference between primitive brain thinking and human thinking?
Primitive brain thinking is about yourself. Human thinking is about everyone else.
Can you give me an example of primitive brain thinking?
Look around, primitive brain thinking is everywhere. I was recently enjoying a beautiful morning drive. The traffic was moving slowly, and suddenly, a car rushed up behind me tailgating. This is aggressive primitive brain behavior. I looked in the mirror – the driver was scowling with stress and anger. This is self-centered primitive brain thinking. Then, there was a cellphone in the left hand. This is dangerous primitive brain behavior that can cause a life-threatening accident. This is self-centered thinking from the primitive brain and not human thinking about other people.
What do you mean, the primitive brain?
The brain starts as a pod of cells and develops into a primitive brain, which is needed during infancy for instinctive survival. The brain continues to develop for 25 years ending in the advanced human prefrontal lobe. The primitive brain remains active for instinctive lifesaving reactions, but after infancy, thinking from this primitive brain with self-centered thoughts causes stress. This is a built-in warning system to stop thinking from the primitive brain. Thinking from the primitive brain causes anger and stress.
Do you have additional primitive brain thinking and behaviors?
I have an endless list such as thinking about your problems, negative thoughts about yourself and angry at yourself; and complaining, criticizing, blame, and manipulation. These include comparing yourself to others, trying to be someone else or your job title, jealousy, retaliation and revenge, and worry and guilt, and trying to control people or seeking power. Primitive brain thinking includes negative thoughts about the past or the future; making decisions based on emotions; avoiding responsibility; fear of failure; undisciplined; pessimism; and egocentric thinking. People having the cell phone in the hand is one of the worst primitive brain behaviors. They’re not engaged in a positive way with people, their face is emotionless, and they have no kindness from the heart.
Do you have others?
Here are several more primitive brain behaviors by categories. Nutrition – eating foods with added sugar, added salt, and processed foods. Sleep – not getting eight hours of sleep, taking sleeping pills, and looking at lighted screens before sleeping. Exercise- having the cellphone in hand while working out, poor form, and poor posture. Driving – self-centered impatient driving, non-emergency honking, and tailgating. Talking – negative social communication with criticism. It hurts. No one-ups, put-downs, or destructive comments with family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, and in public.
How can we stop primitive brain thinking?
Break the primitive brain thinking habit. Understand the negative consequences of primitive brain thinking. Recognize primitive brain thinking and stop.
What are the detailed steps to stop thinking from the primitive brain?
First, learn and understand that thinking about yourself from the primitive brain causes stress. Second, keep your primitive brain thinking to less than ten seconds with one or more of these techniques (1) Six- to eight-second technique by feeling the anger or stress without thinking, let it peak, and it will pass. (2) Self-technique which is recognize when you’re thinking from the stress center and stop yourself. (3) Neuro-bypass technique which is repeating “love and peace” to yourself for 30 seconds. (4) Think from the heart by being kind to yourself or someone else, give something to someone or help someone. (5) Think from the mind by thinking about your project or upcoming positive experience. (6) Trigger the parasympathetic calming system by using belly breaths, drinking water, going for a 12-minute walk, or yoga breathing techniques. (7) Trigger endorphins by prolonged running or exercise or the 10-second freezing cold-water on-your-face shower technique. (8) Distraction by listening to upbeat music, a festive meal, laughing out loud, or positive social interaction with people.
What’s the third step?
The ultimate goal is to eliminate primitive brain thinking. Primitive brain thinking can be totally and forever eliminated from your life by not activating the primitive brain. Don’t let negative thoughts or actions trigger the primitive brain. This can be accomplished with practice, discipline, and persistent by using the mind with courage and attention.
Let’s talk about human behaviors, what are they?
Think from the heart, the gut, the body, and the mind. Human behaviors from the heart include kindness to yourself and others, giving without expecting anything in return, unconditional love, gratitude, appreciation, forgiving, and empathy. Sadness is from the heart because someone or something you love has been lost.
What about the belly brain?
Human behaviors from the gut include choosing and eating healthy foods. This means eating foods that do not cause inflammation such as no added sugar, no added salt, and no processed foods especially foods with manufactured omega-6 fat. Gut belly brain behavior includes choosing anti-inflammatory foods that contain omega-3 fats and fiber. The gut feeling of fear keeps us healthy. It’s a human behavior keeping us safe and preventing us from doing a physical activity or social activity that has excessive risk.
What about human behavior from the body?
Human behaviors from the body include the good feeling from exercising all the muscle groups that include the biceps; triceps; neck, back, and abdominal muscles, quadriceps, hamstrings, and calves. Human behavior can use the mind to combine with the body to perform extraordinary athletic feats that no other species can perform. Human behavior from the body enables a healthy positive posture.
What are human behaviors from the mind?
Human behaviors from the mind include creativity to solve problems and help others, innovation to develop new products and services, courage, attention, discipline, persistence, inspiration, awe, total calmness, feeling of not needing to do anything, acceptance, belonging, joy, and bliss.
What does primitive thinking have to do with close personal relationships?
Primitive thinking destroys close personal relationships. People need two or three close relationships to live a long, healthy life. These relationships last for years and years because both individuals only think about the other person with no thoughts about themselves. If one of them develops primitive thinking, then the relationship becomes torn and splits apart. For example, one begins to complain and criticize. This is unpleasant for the other person or that person also starts to criticize. Those pleasing requests or suggestions early on turn into commands. No one likes commands. These primitive behaviors are subtle at first, but if they become a habit, they’re intolerable. In a marriage, this becomes a business contract. With a friend, this becomes a cold friendship. In a close personal relationship, always think from the heart with kindness for the other person and no thoughts about yourself. Do the same thing at work and in public. There is no place for primitive brain thinking.
Joan – Think from your heart with kindness and giving. Do you have any closing comments?
Dr. Gary Epler – Eliminate primitive brain thinking and behavior. Think from the heart with kindness and from the mind with creativity to solve problems and help others. Here’s what I would like to have you do. Look around and observe primitive brain behavior, don’t say anything, but you stop doing this behavior, or feel good about yourself because you don’t do this behavior. If everyone stops primitive brain thinking, then we will be living an extraordinary life in a global civilization of kindness.
