On today’s BEP Talks, I sat down with Lisa Baker, founder of Ascentum, to dive into what it truly means when we say, “What you tolerate, you teach.” We explored how real leadership isn’t just about titles or what’s on the wall, but about the culture you create every single day through your actions and—just as importantly—your inactions. Lisa shared her practical formula: assess what’s really happening, address issues clearly and early, and adjust as you go. Remember, true leaders set the standard, build trust, and always choose accountability over fear.

Let’s strive for leadership that sets clear expectations and models integrity. What you tolerate, you teach—and that shapes the culture for everyone. To learn more, connect with Lisa at: https://ascentim.com/

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Well, hey there. And welcome to this edition of Bed Talks, where

wonderful people, generous people. Pardon me. Come to share

their beliefs, their experiences and their passions. You see, they get me all

choked up today. Not an exception, we have the fabulous

Lisa Baker, who is the founder of Ascentum, and

she's going to talk to us today about a very interesting topic.

What you tolerate, you teach. Please welcome

today's guest, Lisa Baker.

Hello, Beth. I'm so glad to be with you today. My

absolute honor and pleasure to have you here on BEP Talks.

You have. I am fascinated by

what you tolerate, you teach.

It's very thought provoking.

Yeah, I appreciate you saying that. It's so interesting.

I talk about this because having been a

senior executive leader in Fortune 500 organizations,

led big teams, I have seen what

happens in culture, in terms of the culture we say we

want to have. Organizations will have their values on

the wall, and they talk about their culture. But what the

reality is, is often different than what we

say. Culture isn't

built in statements. It's not in what's in strategy

decks. It grows in those small, consistent

moments in how leaders respond, what they

reinforce and what they allow.

Without comment. Without comment. So without

comment, is that like passive acceptance? Yes,

it's passive acceptance. And I think it's not

from, you know, a lack of capability or, you know,

the fear. Generally, leaders think, I want to

give it some time. I don't want to be, you know,

get ahead of myself. Let me. Let me assess a little bit more. And often

we think we are being kind, we're being thoughtful, allowing

things to play out, but inadvertently, what happens

is we teach people

something by both our inaction and our inaction.

We teach them something by what we say and what we don't

say. Absolutely, Sinbad. Omission or

omission is how you can look at it. You said something very

interesting a couple of moments ago about leaders. I want to

give it some time. Time is always of the essence, and today,

perhaps more than ever, because everything does move so quickly.

Going to Question leadership, then? Are they not willing

to take a stand? Are they waiting to see, well, let me see what everybody

else is doing. Let me see whose wagon I want to hitch

myself to. Is that really leadership?

Oh, that's an excellent question. And I would say

that it's leadership, but it is not

effective leadership. Leadership

by title, but not by action. It can be leadership by position.

It can be leadership even by just setting an

example. Because people follow leaders and

because if no one's following you, you're not a leader. Right.

And so people notice. That's why I say what you tolerate, you teach,

because people notice what you allow to happen. So sometimes

we allow someone who is an outstanding performer

to have a bad attitude or a negative way in which they respond to people

because they hit their numbers, and we want them to keep doing that. So we

tolerate it. Are we always afraid of

everything? Of being on the wrong side, of popularity,

of being on the wrong side of who's on my left, who's on my right,

and not taking a personal stand. Therefore, I'm saying

perhaps we've lowered accountability. For sure.

Yes. And also I'm going to say perhaps in some cases,

integrity in having a leadership

position. I heard today,

Gosh, I heard it this morning. What are the chances of this? If

you tolerate something, don't change it.

So let's look at the word tolerate.

Does tolerate give something power, or is it just, I'm willing

to put up with it? Yeah, it is both.

Tolerate. What you tolerate gives something power.

It becomes the standard. It becomes the boundary that you have

set. And so when you've been tolerating something for a long

time and then you want to change it now, people are like, whoa,

what happened? This is new, right? And so we

really need to be willing to. To acknowledge

that we've tolerated something that is no longer acceptable.

When you tolerate something too long, let's think about

your car. Okay? A light goes on on the dashboard of the car. Check

engine, Check. Check oil. If you tolerate that and

you push it, a small thing can become a big thing.

That's right. Harder to fix, more expensive to fix. It has more

negative side effects, et cetera. Are we talking about the same kind of thing here?

We are talking about the same kind of thing because what happens if we

use your car analogy? Eventually something breaks down. Like you said, it becomes a bigger

problem in an organization. What happens is you're creating a

culture where people don't address things, where things don't get

confronted. You're creating a culture where your best people,

your top performers, those ones that you want to retain, start to question,

well, why am I operating at this level doing this if

someone else is allowed to behave in a different way

and there are no consequences? We're dealing with a lot of

that in today's world, aren't we? You know, we absolutely are. We

absolutely are. We are tolerating for too long. Time is always

of the essence. You know, I've said in different trainings that

I've done that, and we can Compare it to

tolerating something. But if day by day, week

by week, month by month, year by year, whatever your, your

time span might be, if you

shift just one degree, one

degree, which can be very slight, obviously it can be

immeasurable, unseen. You do that 90

days in a row, 90 weeks in a row. When

you've done that night, you've made a complete left hand turn,

you're no longer even tolerating what you were originally

tolerating. That's right. And you're heading in a completely

different direction at that point. Completely different direction. What do we need

to do? You say what you tolerate, you teach.

Which causes that coloration, if

you will, kind of comparing it back to the car thing to fester, perhaps

to get out of that. Oh, what you were looking at

years ago that you tolerated is not the same thing

today. What do we do about this, Lisa? Talk to us.

Talk to us. I'm going to suggest

three simple but effective things that

number one, we have to assess,

notice what's happening in the day to day in our organizations.

What's working well, what things are drifting gradually off

course course, what's being quietly tolerated. That step of

awareness as you assess is very important

because you can't shift what you haven't noticed.

So that's the first step, noticing and assessing. You can't

manage what you can't measure.

Absolutely. 100% agree. So now

with this awareness now and the assessment that you've done, the next step

is to decide what you will address.

That means you name what matters early

as possible, as kindly as possible, but

firmly clear is kind. So you want

people to be clear about what the standard is.

Celebrate those behaviors that align with the culture

that you want and that you're trying to recreate, create.

Right. That's addressing it. And then the third is to adjust.

Mix all steady adjustments that

strengthen the culture that you desire. Clarify one

expectation at a time, reinforce that with another with

a positive behavior so that you're creating a pattern in the

organization and you're modeling, really leading from a place

of accountability, positive culture

and one that is supportive. That is the best

way to start to make that shift so that you are

not inadvertently creating a culture that doesn't align with what

you really want. Oh my gosh,

that's so logical. There's so much common

sense in that. And I love assess, address,

adjust, always be accountable.

Yes. And you take. When I say

control, I don't mean in a bad way about a dictatorship kind of

control, is that you can always control, manage,

the situation so it doesn't get so out of hand.

Why aren't people doing this? Lisa, this makes so much sense. What's the problem?

It makes a lot of sense. I think at the core of

the problem is a root of fear.

First of all, we're in a society that has become increasingly more

litigious. And I think sometimes people are

afraid that if I confront the thing that I see,

that there may be some blowback in some way. Maybe it comes

back on me, and people think that

I'm not the kind of leader that I really want to be, that I'm seen

as being biased, I'm seen as being too callous. But the

reality is people want clear

guidelines. They want leaders who say what they mean and

mean what they say when there is. I call it the say do

ratio. Right. That ratio of what you say

to what you do should be one to one or as close as one to

one as possible. Because we're human. We're going. Sometimes we can't do exactly what we

said, but when you can't, you come back and communicate

that, Beth, I told you I would do this.

Here's something that has changed. Now I need to make a

different decision. Can we align on what the new path forward is?

That still creates one to one. It builds trust, it builds confidence.

People start to know what they can expect from you as a leader, and

that's what drives a positive culture that we're striving for.

Accountability can be both supporting and

encouraging. It's not a negative thing to confront a

situation. No, that's leadership. That's

adjusting. That's making sure that you know when there's

construction on the road and you have to detour, you don't just

keep going through the construction and end up in a terror.

Well, that's a crazy analogy, isn't it? But, you know, it's like if you're

heading toward a disaster, heading in the wrong direction. Stop, turn

around, change your course. Change your course. So

I think you said fear. Oh, my gosh,

yes. Fear of being judged. Fear of being

on the outside of popularity. Children are

experiencing this a lot today, aren't they? That wanting to just

be in the

mainstream no matter where it's headed, no matter what it

represents. Yes. To go along, to get along,

that kind of mindset. But as you said earlier,

that is not. That's not what effective leadership is. That's not

what effective leadership looks like. And so if we want to create

positive cultures where people can do their best work, where they're

excited to come to work and to work for you.

To work for you. Listen, I don't know anybody who wouldn't be

excited to work with you, work for you,

alongside you, to take your words of wisdom,

your years of experience. And I love logic,

I love common sense, I love practicality. And you have brought that,

all of those things to us today. I cannot thank you

enough. Assess, address, adjust,

become accountable. Know what your end goal is and

make sure you're always on the best path to get you

to that goal. And if you have to adjust,

address, do it. Lisa, I thank you so

much for joining me today on BEV Talks. Your words of

wisdom are going to go far, particularly at a time when

they are so needed. Thank you so much for joining us.

And as I always say to our viewers, our listeners,

tell your story, share your thoughts, your beliefs, your experiences, your

passions right here on BEV Talks. Become easy to remember

and impossible to forget. So until we talk again,

may the best always be yet to come. Bye for now.