The Science of Introverts: Explore the Personality Spectrum for Self-Discovery, Self-Awareness, & Self-Care. Design a Life That Fits. By Peter Hollins

00:11:04 The Extrovert Ideal.

00:23:45 What Lies Between

00:33:51 Introvert or Highly Sensitive?

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Discover the hidden causes behind your behaviors and habits. Stop trying to impersonate someone you’re not.

We use the terms introvert and extrovert constantly. We use them to label ourselves and everyone we know. But what do they really mean? How much of so-called common knowledge is misconceptions and stereotypes?

The Science of Introverts will uncover everything you never knew about yourself and others, and will teach you how to take advantage of who you are and capitalize on your unique strengths.

Feel comfortable and confident in your own skin.

Think of The Science of Introverts as the most actionable textbook you’ve ever come across. It is filled with breakthrough and fascinating studies regarding introversion, extroversion, and personality in general -- and the lessons we can take and use to enrich our lives and feel more comfortable in our unique identities. You will begin a journey of self-discovery and find practical knowledge about yourself.

The backbone of the book is a deep dive into the science of personality, with over 30 studies synthesized, including the most recent and up-to-date research on the biology of introversion and personality.

Learn self-care and how to strategically manage your social capacity.

Peter Hollins has studied psychology and peak human performance for over a dozen years and is a bestselling author. He has worked with dozens of individuals to unlock their potential and path towards success. His writing draws on his academic, coaching, and research experience. He’s also a massive introvert – this book is written for introverts by an introvert.

Stop feeling pressure or obligated to be someone you’re not .

•An analysis of the major personality types and the difference in habits and behaviors they create. Also covers the concept of the HSP.

•The scientific basis for introversion and extroversion - and how they affect you.

•How to change your personality to be happier. Yes, really.

•An action guide for introverts to succeed socially even when they want isolation.

•Countless scientific discoveries about how introverts see the world and function differently.

Find solitude in our loud world without becoming a social hermit.

When you can understand what is pulling you in different directions, you can take charge and design a life that suits your needs, whims, and desires. This goes beyond social situations and into every aspect of your life. Knowing yourself is the key to moving towards a life you want.

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This is the second book in the “Understand Your Brain Better” series as listed below:

1.Brain Blunders: Uncover Everyday Illusions and Fallacies, Defeat Your Flawed Thinking Habits, And Think Smarter (Or Just Less Stupidly)

2.The Science of Introverts: Explore the Personality Spectrum for Self-Discovery, Self-Awareness, & Self-Care. Design a Life That Fits.

3.Psychological Triggers: Human Nature, Irrationality, and Why We Do What We Do. The Hidden Influences Behind Our Actions, Thoughts, and Behaviors.

4.Think Like Einstein: Think Smarter, Creatively Solve Problems, and Sharpen Your Judgment. How to Develop a Logical Approach to Life and Ask the Right Questions

5.The Science of Breaking Out of Your Comfort Zone: How to Live Fearlessly, Seize Opportunity, and Make Each Day Memorable

#ArthurAron #HansEysenck #CarlJung #ElaineAron #Extroversion #Extrovert #ExtrovertIdeal #Introversion #Introvert #Introverts #IsabelMeyers #JadziaJagiellowicz #KatharineBriggs #MBTI #ProfessorRobinDunbar #PsychologicalTypes #PsychologischeTypen #SusanCain #WriterJonathanAlexander #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #PeterHollins #TheScienceofSelf #TheScienceofIntroverts #ThePersonalitySpectrum #introvertsvsextroverts #themythoftheintrovert #howtobeaconfidentintrovert #whatitmeanstobeanintrovert #howintrovertssucceed #famousintroverts #tipsforintroverts

The science of introverts explore the personality spectrum for self-discovery, self-awareness, and self-care. Design a life that fits. Written by Peter Hollins. Narrated by Russell Newton I have always been labeled as an introvert. It’s not a proud proclamation or confession; it’s just reality. During childhood, I used to go straight home after school instead of staying at the playground to socialize with friends. When I was a teenager, I would spend my weekends alone in my room, playing the guitar or simply watching television by myself. It wasn’t because I didn’t have friends to hang out with. I just seemed to have a better time by myself, especially after long days of being around other people.

Today, the introvert-extrovert typology is even more relevant. According to Jung, introversion is a psychological mode wherein an individual considers his or her inner reality of utmost importance. If you’ve done much reading on this topic, this first chapter might be somewhat of a review and confirmation for you.  This means introverts tend to be more inward-focused, and they often retreat from the outside world to be able to focus their energy inwards. Extroversion, on the other hand, pushes people to be more outgoing and to rely on external sources (people, circumstances, and environment) for stimulation. The differences between the two personality types boil down to how these individuals allocate their energy. While extroverts find social interactions energizing, introverts find this activity draining, so they avoid it as much as they can. This simple difference creates a domino effect of differing lifestyles and preferences. Introverts are people who tend to be more focused on their internal thoughts and emotions rather than being engrossed in trying to find stimulation from the external environment.

These individuals normally keep things to themselves and are defensive of the demands of the outside world. They are contemplative, cautious, and similar to a cat—sometimes the cat wants to play, and other times you can’t get them out from their hiding spot under the bed. In reality, extroversion and introversion exist on a continuum—there are people who fall on the far ends of the spectrum as well as people in between who exhibit tendencies from both sides. How do we know if a person is an introvert? There are a number of traits introverts possess that can distinguish them. For one, introverts don’t mind being alone—often, they prefer it. But it’s not because they hate people. Don’t confuse it with social anxiety or even shyness. They are just easily exhausted by social interaction, which includes simply talking to another person or being in public.

They are comfortable spending time by themselves and see it as a reprieve from the noisy world outside. Many people find this trait undesirable because Western society holds an internalized extrovert ideal, meaning they have higher regard for people who invest more time socializing than those who prefer not to. For a better understanding, we can view introversion and extroversion by looking at an imaginary social battery. For the introvert, their battery drains quickly when they are in a setting that demands a lot of interaction. Their social battery regains power only when they spend adequate time without the company of others, in the confines of their private space, and doing things that require no contact with the outside world. For example, an introvert who spent an entire night at a social gathering is more likely to isolate himself from people the following day. This person cannot handle so many interactions, so they need to retreat to the comfort of solitude. Sometimes it takes hours or even days for them to recharge their battery and prepare themselves for another social affair, depending on how introverted they are and how intense the interaction was. They can easily entertain themselves by reading a book, watching a movie, or killing time with one-player games.

Introverts also find small talk a waste of time and energy. It exhausts their social battery faster than any other activity, and it seems to be all for nothing. Because of this, introverts are more likely to participate in purposeful conversations that have a clear direction. If they are going to expend their precious social energy, it may as well be for something that is significant or intimate. Nothing comes without a cost. They like the idea of parties, family gatherings, and a night out with friends. However, participating in these events is a real chore for them. Sometimes they need a lot of convincing to say yes, and it could be difficult for them to gather the energy needed to socialize on days where all they want to do is have a relaxing soak in the bathtub. Anticipation can be exciting, yet actual engagement is more typically exhausting.

For them, an ideal weekend night is as simple as having to stay at home, enjoying a movie marathon, and eating a bag of popcorn. If you are interacting with someone who appears to be antisocial or unapproachable, it’s possible they are merely introverted with a social battery that’s fully drained at the moment. For an introvert, an ideal party is one that is quiet, keeps people busy with their own business, has an agenda, and has a set ending time—and yet people still might leave early. You probably wouldn’t even call it a party because it would involve people spending time together but not necessarily engaging with each other. A book club is a good example of this. They are more comfortable when they are familiar with how the program goes and when it will end, because that way they can pace themselves and their social batteries. You might be able to guess that the extrovert’s social battery functions in the exact opposite way—charging up in the presence of others and slowly draining when spending time alone. If the introvert is a hiding cat, the extrovert is a golden retriever who wants to play fetch all the time. Introverts can appear fickle or complicated in the eyes of everyone else.

It’s important for the friends of introverts to gain an understanding of their nature so they don’t take things personally when their attempts at socialization are rejected. Again, you just might be dealing with someone who needs to pay attention to their waning social battery. Introversion is not always so obvious, especially to introverts. Some people don’t even realize what they are seeking until they have behavior patterns pointed out to them, such as an aversion to large group settings or a tendency to leave events early. While introverts make up a large portion of the population, one which seems to increase every day, there are still misconceptions about this personality type. As mentioned previously, introverts are automatically categorized as shy and anxious people. They might also be seen as rude or unapproachable. This association is understandable, since it cannot be denied that many introverts do possess these traits. However, it is not true that all introverts are nervous, antisocial wrecks.

Not all of them are timid and quiet. Being shy and anxious can accompany introversion, but it does not define it. With a charged social battery, an introvert is indistinguishable from an extrovert— it’s what they do afterward, when they are tired, that differentiates them. If you see someone who appears to be shy or unapproachable, chances are they are simply socially tapped out. Another misconception about introverts is that you can tell one based solely on observing them. A person’s activity alone is not an accurate indicator of whether he or she is an introvert. For instance, a party animal is not necessarily an extrovert. Being a loner most of the time does not make you an introvert. A person’s activity might just be indicative that they are constantly living life outside of their comfort zones.

The person you always see alone may not be necessarily an introvert; she might be forced into that situation. It could be that the task is a requirement of her job, but the truth is that she is physically, emotionally, and psychologically exhausted from all the meetups. People are adaptable and will rise to the occasion when necessary, but in the end, this leads to many unrealized introverts trying to put on a poor impression of an extrovert for years and years. You might think you’re weird or that something is wrong with you if you hate going to bars while all your friends love it—you just have a different personality than them. Remember, it’s what people prefer to do to relax and unwind that determines where they fall on the spectrum. Introverts don’t need to be babied, but it’s important to keep a few things in mind so you don’t get your feelings hurt around them. •Respect their need for alone time and don’t take it personally. •Allow them to adapt and interact at their own pace, because chances are that they are already uncomfortable just by being there. •Don’t jump to apathy or malice when a depleted social battery could be an explanation.

We meet introverts every day, and we have to learn how to create more harmonious relationships with them. If you identify as an introvert, understanding yourself better will help you connect and coexist with others. Acknowledging the fact that we are not all similar helps create a balance and also frees you from unfair expectations you may feel from society at large. Being an introvert is not a bad thing. If you love chocolate, can you judge someone for loving vanilla instead? Introverts of the world unite (separately, for only a limited amount of time, and without having to commit ahead of time)! The Extrovert Ideal. What do you want to do when you’re tired? Do you want to spend time with friends or lock yourself in a room?

Understanding your answer to this question is essential to becoming more self-aware. We’ve talked about how introverts must seclude themselves for energy, and now we turn our attention to the extrovert who uses other people as energy sources. What characterizes the extrovert? The most extroverted among us are those who simply can’t get enough of being with and around other people. When they are by themselves, extroverts may feel bored, restless, anxious, or tired as their energy levels deplete from the lack of social stimulation. They are like flowers wilting without adequate sunlight and water.  It is a natural tendency for people to enjoy the things at which they are naturally skilled, so it may not surprise you to learn that extroverts are often the leaders of the pack when it comes to socializing. It is not by accident that extroverts will often find themselves at the center of attention while at social gatherings—that is where they often feel most in their element, and they have had plenty of practice. When you picture someone excelling in a social situation, you are picturing the stereotype of the extrovert.

This ranges from partygoers to salesmen who can talk to anyone and people who arrange parties on a weekly basis. They are seen as the hub of socialization, and thus, people want to be around them as well. This conceptualization is known as the extrovert ideal, where, at least in Western cultures, extroverts are seen to be preferred and more likable (Susan Cain). It can certainly seem that way from first glance, as having someone around who likes being around is usually a good thing. Being able to energetically perform and thrive in the spotlight certainly garners more attention than not. One important caveat here is that, just like all introverts are not necessarily anxious or shy, though some are, all extroverts are not necessarily charming or likable. Surely you can picture an acquaintance who enjoys being around people, but the feeling is not mutual. They lack self-awareness and don’t realize people are trying to avoid rather than engage them. Extroversion by itself isn’t a positive trait, despite what most media will tell you; it’s just a description of what people like to do in their most natural state, which so happens to create more interaction than other people.

It’s a trait that happens to demand attention and create presence. After all, just because people love baseball doesn’t mean they excel at it. Being an extrovert is not better than being an introvert, and vice versa. Our society needs both types of people to function correctly. While their communication skills are valued and envied, they are sometimes accompanied by another pitfall—distractibility. This is especially so in the workplace. There are elements of the inability to delay gratification and seeking dopamine-inducing interaction immediately. The tendency of the extrovert to always focus on people can make them less efficient and productive. They may know that there’s a big stack of papers waiting to be read on their desk, but the faint sounds of a lively conversation going on in the break room down the hall are just too tempting not to go investigate.

Moreover, they just might grow exhausted at the prospect of grinding through paperwork alone. If productivity and the ability to get things done is a product of solitude and alone time, then you might say they’re at a disadvantage in many careers, feeling especially drained at the prospect of late nights with documents. What might the ideal daily schedule look like for somebody who is highly extroverted? At a minimum, they would likely prefer to enjoy each of their meals in the company of others. Colleagues from work, friends, family, you name it—as long as they get to frequently spend time with other people, an extrovert will feel more energized throughout the day. Even if they are totally swamped with work and only have 15 minutes to eat lunch, that time would be better spent eating in the crowded cafeteria than being confined in their office or cubicle. It would be like a shot of espresso in itself. Alone time can still be enjoyable to extroverts when they are being entertained, even if they aren’t reenergized by the solitude. Entertainment is entertainment, after all.

But without entertainment, solitude is not generally desirable. Extroverts think less about their inner feelings than introverts and are more focused on their environments, so any prolonged period spent alone with a lack of stimulation can quickly result in feelings of anxiousness or boredom. When it’s time to blow off steam after a long week, extroverts will typically seek out a night full of social interaction—the more, the better. I witnessed this firsthand when I went out one night with my highly extroverted friend Katie. Within mere minutes of walking into a bar, she managed to integrate herself into a group of six complete strangers, making interesting small talk and garnering the group’s full attention. Katie was more energetic than she’d been all week, and so we hopped from one bar to the next, meeting more and more people as the night wore on into the early hours of the morning. She was like a vampire, gaining energy from the faltering introvert—me. I can only wonder how long Katie could have kept her socializing up, as she was still going at full-steam when the last call sounded and the bars began to empty out.  Whether they are basking in the attention of their closest friends or just sitting in a café alone with people and commotion all around them, the important thing is that they are in the presence of other people, because that is what energizes them.

Sponge or vampire, you get the idea. As you are learning more about the personality types, it is natural that you may begin categorizing your friends and family based on the experiences you’ve had with them. When you do this, it’s important to understand that there are plenty of misconceptions about extroverts as well - for instance, all extroverts are charming, likable, and have limitless friends. Katie illustrates one of them quite well. For all of the new people she interacted with that night, Katie didn’t get the contact information for a single one. This was surprising to me as I was observing it, because in many instances she seemed to genuinely connect with the people she was meeting. With each passing positive interaction, I began to realize that it was the social interaction itself that brought value to Katie, not the potential to make friends. She moved between groups like a butterfly but seemed to stay only on shallow topics and cracking jokes. When I thought about it, I rarely engaged her on anything deeper than how our days went and we rarely connected on personal topics.

You see, we often see extroverts interacting with a high volume of people and think or assume that they must, therefore, have a high volume of friends. This isn’t necessarily true. In fact, it has been scientifically proven through studies related to Dunbar’s number by Professor Robin Dunbar of Oxford University that the average number of close friends anyone can truly have hovers around five people. (Dunbar’s number, by the way, is the proposal that humans can only really know and care about 150 people at a time.). What extroverts tend to have is a lot of acquaintances—people they know and interact with on occasion, or even on a consistent basis, but aren’t close friends with. Social media further contributes to the misconception that extroverts have tons of friends, as the sheer volume of acquaintances will often correlate to more Instagram followers and Facebook friends—the modern measures of popularity in our digital, interconnected world. This leads us to another misconception about extroverts, and it’s one that can be particularly harmful in your relationships with them.  Interacting with extroverts can easily leave you with the impression that they are always in a good mood and social. It’s common for extroverts to have bubbly personalities, which can be interpreted as them always feeling happy and not falling victim to negative emotions to the same extent as less extroverted people.

Not only is this false, but it can cause you to subconsciously develop unreasonable expectations for the extroverts you interact with to always be energetic and positive. Individuals with extroverted tendencies are subject to moods, blues, phases, and times of introspection as well, and you should be supportive of them in these times just as you would with your quieter and less socially active friends. You may also believe that most extroverts prefer shallow small talk or are even incapable of the same levels of deep thought that a quiet and less social person may experience. Extroverts can be deep thinkers too, and they can certainly be excellent conversational partners on intellectual subjects because of their innate ability to communicate well. One aspect in particular that changes as you move across the social temperament spectrum is how individuals work through their problems. Extroverts are fully capable of introspection and may handle some matters privately. But remember, they are more accustomed to taking cues from the external world. They may default to discussing their personal problems with a trusted friend or family member. It’s not that they need the guidance; they just function better outside their own heads.

So the next time you’re stuck on the phone with your extroverted friend who just keeps going on and on about whatever is distressing them without stopping to hear your opinion, don’t take it as a slight. You are providing a valuable service to your friend, as just having somebody to talk through their thoughts with can be extremely helpful for extroverts when they find themselves in a predicament. Extroverts have dealt with these types of frustrating misconceptions for most of their lives, so they are sure to appreciate when you make the effort to understand them better before jumping to conclusions about their personalities and preferences. As you read onward through this book, these are the fundamental ideas about extroverts that you should keep in the back of your mind - •Extroverts enjoy being around people because this is how they get energy. This doesn’t always translate beyond mere chatter, activity, and motion. •Extroverts are capable of everything an introvert is, just not all of it, all the time. Being able to quickly identify where somebody lies on the extrovert and introvert spectrum can provide immense benefits if you understand how to use that information. When you are interacting with extroverts, be mindful that they are feeding off of your energy, not trapped inside of their own thoughts. They’re not trying to invade your space or pry into your life; they’re just enjoying being in your company.

Whether you enjoy listening and learning about others, or just need somebody to talk to about what’s going on in your life, an extroverted friend will likely enjoy the interaction with you. Moreover, understanding where you lie on the spectrum and how that influences your personality and decision-making is the first step toward learning how to make the changes you want in your life. If you are extroverted, chances are that sitting in a cubicle and keeping to yourself all day will make you miserable. Pursue work and hobbies that provide you with plenty of opportunities for interaction throughout the day and keep you enjoying the present moment. As for introverts, having more extroverted influences in your life may make for more enjoyable experiences when you socialize, and you may even learn a thing or two about effective ways to communicate and connect with other people. You might also stop inviting people over to your home or at least set times for kicking people out. We’ve given an overview of the two ends of the spectrum of personality, but to assume that everyone must fit into one of these definitions is a false dichotomy. Indeed, you might feel that what you’ve read thus far is inaccurate or blurry. It’s true that it doesn’t accurately reflect what most people in the world truly are.

The next section, however, does. What Lies Between Hans Eysenck was the first to coin the term ambivert to define a person as one who manifests the characteristics of both an introvert and an extrovert. They are in the proverbial middle, though there is no exact point for middle and it’s impossible to achieve the exact middle between one personality type and the other. With something as dynamic as temperament and personality traits, the pendulums keep swinging from one side to the other. Just because we throw a temper tantrum one day doesn’t mean we can’t be calm and collected the next. As a reminder, to the introvert, the real world is an inner world of ideas, thoughts, and perception generated by their own minds. An extrovert is one who derives energy from the outside world, other people, and things that exist within that person’s environment. And yet Carl Jung himself, the man who coined those two personality types, didn’t think a pure introvert or extrovert existed. He said, “There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert… Such a person would be in the lunatic asylum!".

The ambivert is a representation of the vast middle ground between a pure introvert and pure extrovert. Just like without positive and negative emotions, we can’t realistically function without both sides of the spectrum. For every yin there is a yang, and so on and so forth. There are numerous biological factors that differentiate personality types, but the vast majority of people are permeable enough to move from being more or less introverted to being more or less extroverted, depending upon the situation, our motivations, and the people we are surrounded by. Writer Jonathan Alexander states, “We all have a little bit of introvert and a little bit of extrovert in us, no matter which personality we display the most.". Everyone has these mood swings. They are natural, provided they are not extreme and unstable. You simply wouldn’t react the same way if you were coming from a funeral versus coming from a party. Sometimes an introvert may be the person never wanting the party to stop and having a seemingly endless supply of social energy.

This would seem to be at odds with the modus operandi of the introvert, until you learn they are trying to impress someone, like a potential romantic interest or their boss. Though the introvert might prefer more solitude, there are situations in which they will rise to the occasion and act outside their character and comfort zone. And what about the extrovert? Sometimes you might see them leave a social gathering early, or they might appear to be a wallflower, stuck to the wall far away from other people. This would also be uncharacteristic of them, but you might learn they have just gotten released from their job or are newly single after a rough breakup. People have dashes of both the introverted style and the extroverted style, depending on everything else going on in their lives. Your social battery, tolerance for people, and interest in others depends a great deal upon the context in which you are doing that (at work, for instance) or upon your feelings and general mood (as may occur if you have to weather a severe storm in order to get to a lecture on time). That’s why you can’t tell someone’s disposition simply by looking at their actions. No one is exactly the same every day.

For weeks, you may be preoccupied by a presentation you have to make to the board of directors, and you might be introverted. You might want some “quiet time” in your office to prepare for your leadership event. Suppose you don’t have the luxury of spending time alone at your workstation and reflecting. You may then realize that it is necessary to relate to your coworkers, whether you want to or not. Of course, you want to avoid coming across as distracted, so you may enter a phase of extroversion to compensate for what looks like reckless mind-wandering. In the interest of balance, you discover that you can operate quite well with interchanges between yourself and your colleagues. It’s a good thing and means you have the ability to adapt to different circumstances like a chameleon. With time, we can build a certain amount of tolerance to it, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still outside of our comfort zones. The world is not black and white and made up of solely hermits and partygoers.

In truth, most introverts would become quite anxious if they were isolated for long periods. They might even develop “cabin fever.". Likewise, most extroverts would feel their anxiety level rise if they had to attend one social event after another without enjoying some time to themselves. For example, let’s say that a human resources manager at a manufacturing plant receives a complaint from a regular client who was having difficulty with a piece of equipment they bought from the plant. It would be the human resource person’s job to remedy the problem. So he would have to have the engineer contact the client about the problem. By stereotype, engineers tend to be somewhat introverted and tend to steer away from customer contact. Engineers are also stereotypically a tad irascible and find it frustrating when customers don’t follow the written instructions. In private, engineers sometimes even say, “Customers are stupid!".

Of course, no one wants a customer to receive a call from the manufacturer and be called “stupid!". It is vital that introverts be able to shift focus and become extroverted to suit the situation. In addition, they must bring control and patience into the dialogue. Those are the ideal candidates for corporate positions. During the introvert/extrovert encounter, the engineer needs to move away from his introverted role and patiently explain the issue to the client in a nonthreatening manner. If you pigeon-hole yourself into being an introvert and consider yourself always as such, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You may limit yourself to a life of isolation and essentially live inside yourself. You’ll do away with connecting with people and attempt to rely only on yourself. Worst of all, you’ll limit your potential.

No great leader’s autobiography ever said, “I did it all myself.". On the other hand, if you determine that you are exclusively an extrovert, you may restrict yourself and fail to open up your mind to educational possibilities that can advance your career and make more money for yourself and your family. Essentially, you might find yourself distracted and caught up in the moment instead of planning and engaging in periods of deep work. This unfortunately happens to students who go to college and spend most of their nights partying. Most of us have seen that happen. Having a combination of introverted and extroverted traits make us more capable and adaptable in anything we want to do. It is what composes the various careers we undertake. Without adventurers, we wouldn’t explore the world. Without writers, our minds would not be enlightened.

This happy variety makes life worth living—and allows you to live it to the fullest. It also produces challenges that help us grow and reach our full potential. Ninety-nine percent of people are ambiverts. From a person who is predominantly introverted, we expect at least some extroverted behaviors; otherwise, we feel like we are talking to a robot. From a person who is predominantly extroverted, we occasionally expect silence and sedate behaviors; otherwise, we feel like we are talking to someone who won’t remember our name later. Ultimately, it’s about moderation and balance. We are all capable of showing a wide range of emotions. We would quickly lose heart if our lives were always spent in cavorting with friends or secluded in the solitude of our dark rooms. Life calls us to both action and thought.

A band that just plays one note merits no applause. Society needs us to be dynamic in order to evolve. Just like the popular labels of introvert, extrovert, and ambivert, people have started classifying themselves as extroverted introverts and introverted extroverts. An extroverted introvert derives energy from being alone yet participates in social activities and enjoys them, for the most part. Like a cellphone, the extroverted introvert needs time to “recharge.". After that, and only after that, is accomplished can extroverted introverts live their lives in a fruitful and natural way. An introverted extrovert derives energy through social interaction. After exploring the vistas of other people’s experiences, the introverted extrovert needs time to reclaim his individuality and uniqueness. That is the time they solidify the elements within themselves that are beautiful and meaningful.

That is the time they establish an identity that makes them distinct—different from all others they know. These are all different ways to define ambivert. They are just different names for the exact same thing. Remember that the traditional introvert/extrovert scale is a false dichotomy. People may lean one way or the other, but all that really means is that they are still somewhere in the middle. That is the way it is supposed to be. Despite the labels or categories, we are more similar to each other than we like to readily admit. We won’t benefit from living up to our own expectations instead of exploring and destroying them. To stubbornly adhere to a label or side of the spectrum is also to deny the true complexity of our human nature.

While introverts and HSPs have some things in common, it’s important to draw a distinction so you can understand yourself better. HSPs are viewed differently according to who’s doing the viewing. Those who are more inclined to be intuitive (and diplomatic) might call HSPs “empaths,” people who have an almost otherworldly ability to understand someone else’s mental or emotional being. Those who are clinical professionals might say HSPs possess “sensory processing sympathy,” which amounts to an extremely sensitive central nervous system and a strong response to various stimuli. And people who are insensitive would call HSPs “too darned sensitive.". How do you detect if someone’s a highly sensitive person? Remember that like being an introvert, sensitivity is a quality, a personal characteristic. It is not a character flaw, nor is it a terrific asset. It’s simply something someone is.

You either have a lot of it, not enough of it, or just the right amount. HSPs tend to get overly affected by excessive outside stimuli. They may get overwhelmed out by extremely bright lights or loud noises. They may be overly affected by a sentimental song or a tear-jerking movie. HSPs do have a stronger response to negative experiences. They feel profound impact when they feel slighted or hurt. HSPs are also susceptible to being greatly offended by people who sincerely have no intent to hurt or criticize them. When it comes to downtime, HSPs don’t just like it—they desperately need to have it. After they’ve spent a hectic day in a thriving, overactive, and possibly threatening world, HSPs absolutely need a prescribed amount of time to relax and recover.

The same researchers who coined the term went on to elaborate that HSPs are characterized by DOES—an acronym that describes four of the main traits of the HSP. . D stands for depth of processing. HSPs do not simply hear something—they hear it, analyze it, ruminate on it, and file it away for later. In this way, everything becomes interconnected in a web of thoughts and processing. This makes the subtlest stimuli grow in size, sometimes to unreasonable heights. Research by professor Jadzia Jagiellowicz has confirmed that there is extra activity in the parts of the brain of an HSP when put to tasks of analysis and observation. O stands for overstimulation. This is where the comparison to introverts may primarily come from. HSPs are more prone to feeling overwhelmed by their environments, including the people around them.

Naturally, this causes them to want to retreat to solitude. In addition, if everything in an environment appears to hold significance and meaning through deep processing, then it can be difficult to understand what to focus on. east stands for emotional reactivity. What does this mean? It means that HSPs are more easily triggered into negative or positive emotional states. A single movie can cause tears of terror, happiness, sadness, or anger. For this reason, east also stands for empathy—feeling the emotions of other people and assuming them as your own. This is partially because the mirror neurons of the HSP—neurons that put us into the perspective of whatever we are observing—are particularly active. south is for sensing the subtle.

Something is never nothing; something always has to be something. This means that even in a blank room, an HSP may find something to question or analyze. There is always significance that can be teased out; the radar is always functioning at high alert. Obviously, this can be tiring, especially when the subtle truly turns out to be nothing. This isn’t necessarily about having great vision or powerful hearing aids—it’s about perceiving complexity in all areas of life. Taken together with the other elements of DOES, you can see how the HSP can feel paralyzed and simply want to spend time alone—something they share with introverts. Introverts and HSPs do share some rather identifiable similarities. Both types deal with heightened sensitivities. Both of them have neural bases for their “conditions.".

Both tend to be more cautious, and both place a high value on “me time.". However, there are a few major ways in which introverts and HSPs contrast. Not all HSPs are introverts. Studies have seen that three out of 10 highly sensitive people actually lean toward extroversion. They process emotions with great complexity and have to recharge themselves after extensive overstimulation—but they also feed off the energy of social contact and consort with a lot of other people. Introverts do the reverse - they discharge energy in social situations. Long exposure to them eventually wears them out and they have to recharge. HSPs are not identified by the expense or collection of social energy, however. Their state doesn’t have anything to do with the increase or decrease of dopamine and other neurotransmitters, the brain’s pleasure and reward regulator, and what roughly defines introverts and extroverts.

Rather, HSPs are defined by their special response to stimuli and the deep processing of emotions. So why are HSPs so sensitive? It’s all about their central nervous systems. Human beings function best when their nervous systems are aroused and aware at a reasonable level. If their nervous systems aren’t sufficiently engaged, then they get bored and potentially depressed. If their nervous systems are too stimulated, they get stressed out, awkward, clumsy, and basically turn into an overwhelmed mess. HSPs’ central nervous systems are wired like a time bomb. They get overstimulated and aroused a lot more quickly than other people—even non- HSP introverts. This is what defines them.

The more information they have to process, the closer that bomb is to exploding. That’s why they have deep emotional responses to tear-jerking movies that more hardened people would call too hokey or sappy. There are two different kinds of mental “systems” that regulate how a person responds to a stimulus - “behavioral activation” and “behavioral inhibition.". When someone with behavioral activation tendencies receives information from sensory inputs, their brain orders them to move. Stimuli activate behavior. Someone with more pronounced behavior inhibition receives that same sensory information but orders the body to move away. Stimuli inhibit behavior. HSPs are strong in behavioral inhibition—they seek to avoid mental overstimulation. I’m worried that I might have painted a picture of HSPs as constantly on edge and liable to detonate at any moment.

That’s not entirely fair, at least in the suggestion that HSPs take away from others’ energies rather than give back to it. Remember, sensitivity isn’t a defect—it’s simply a trait. Even with HSPs, what really matters more is what they do with their sensitivity. They care very strongly about other people’s feelings and can channel those deep feelings into great works of charity or assistance. They have no hesitation in expressing great gratitude for what they have. They can also enjoy events, food, entertainment, and other simple pleasures on a level that other people simply can’t. True, they carry a lot of their past emotions with them—they tend to keep the memory of past failures around for much longer than most other people do—but that ongoing processing of their emotions means they may be able to help other less cognizant people process their emotions. You might be wondering at this point whether you qualify as a highly sensitive person. You’ll be happy to know there’s a heavily circulated “test” that purports to give you the answer.

This test contains 23 statements that you can label as “true” or “false” as they pertain to your feelings. If you feel you strongly or somewhat agree with the statement, you’d mark it “true.". If you strongly or somewhat disagree, you’d mark it false. Here you go - •I seem to be aware of subtleties in my environment. •Other people’s moods affect me. •I tend to be very sensitive to pain. •I find myself needing to withdraw during busy days, into bed or into a darkened room or any place where I can have some privacy and relief from stimulation. •I am particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine. •I am easily overwhelmed by things like bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens close by.

•I have a rich, complex inner life. •I am made uncomfortable by loud noises. •I am deeply moved by the arts or music. •I am conscientious. •I startle easily. •I get rattled when I have a lot to do in a short amount of time. •When people are uncomfortable in a physical environment, I tend to know what needs to be done to make it more comfortable (like changing the lighting or the seating).  . •I am annoyed when people try to get me to do too many things at once.

•I try hard to avoid making mistakes or forgetting things. •I make it a point to avoid violent movies and TV shows. •I become unpleasantly aroused when a lot is going on around me. •Being very hungry creates a strong reaction in me, disrupting my concentration or mood. •Changes in my life shake me up. •I notice and enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, and works of art. •I make it a high priority to arrange my life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations. •When I must compete or be observed while performing a task, I become so nervous or shaky that I do much worse than I would otherwise. •When I was a child, my parents or teachers seemed to see me as sensitive or shy.

If you’ve answered “true” to at least 12 of these statements—slightly more than half—then you, too, are probably an HSP. . Remember that sensitivity, even a surplus of it, isn’t an inherent fault. It’s a trait; it’s simply the way you are. What matters is how you use your sensitivity for constructive purposes. It may be a challenge, but it’s loaded with the potential for good. Takeaways - •The personality spectrum has been defined in many ways throughout history, but people have increasingly gravitated toward classifying themselves in terms of their capacity for social interaction and how important a person’s internal or external world was. It was later refined to understand that introverts are depleted by social interaction, while extroverts are recharged by it. This leads to opposite types of lifestyles, as you might suspect. There are a variety of misunderstandings associated with these labels, but keep in mind that this scale solely judges what makes people feel recharged—solitude or company.

•Even though Carl Jung defined these two terms and forever created a spectrum, he recognized that it was impossible for people to not be in the  middle. These are called ambiverts, and the vast majority of us are ambiverts. We act according to social obligation, circumstance, and duty, which means you can’t necessarily tell someone’s temperament just by their actions alone. We might skew to one side or another and can further categorize ourselves with terms like extroverted introvert or introverted extrovert. This still means we are in the middle in terms of our social battery, capacity, and desire. •A point of distinction must be made between introverts and highly sensitive people—HSPs. They may appear identical at first glance, but that’s where the similarities end. The HSP is characterized by the acronym DOES, which stands for depth of processing, overstimulation, emotional reactivity, and sensing the subtle. This all amounts to HSPs wearing a proverbial hearing aid turned up to the max when none is needed.