They say fear is the resistance of courage and therefore courage is the resistance of fear, hmm that will stop and make you think won’t it?  I believe that both things can be true at the same time, meaning we can have fear, be really terrified and also incredibly brave and courageous at the same time.  Today we are going to explore fear, courage, and what that means to hold them both true at the same time, and have practices in place to move vs. stay stuck in fear.  Pretty scary and exciting eh?!

Highlights from this episode:

(03:48) All systems are go!

(08:17) Fear is the resistance of courage

(10:10) As the great FDR once said…

(13:46) The scary part of recovery

(15:49) Don’t pass GO without understanding your why

(17:22) What we resist persists

As mentioned in this episode:

Share your Curiosity Challenges, learnings, and any questions 

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Unknown: 00:00:01

Hey, everyone. I'm Kelly Mobic, a coach and a

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leadership trainer. And I'm super passionate about helping

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you. Find out who you are authentically as a leader, own

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it and go out and make an impact in your life and the lives of

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others. This world needs your leadership, your gifts, your

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unique brilliance. And I believe that real leaders don't wait.

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They create. I know firsthand that life is going to throw us

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curveballs that we're going to doubt our greatness, our ideas

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and our contributions. And my goal is that you believe in

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yourself beyond reason. And I get to be a coach and a champion

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for you each week, so that you feel inspired, motivated, and

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most important in action towards your unique impact in this

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world. So let's jump in.

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Hey there, everyone, this is Coach Kelly. Hello. Hello, and

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welcome to episode 148. Of let's be honest, before we start

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pretending, I don't know why I've got to say the number of

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what episode we are except that I'm on the countdown to Episode

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150 which is mind blowing to me mind blowing to me, How are all

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of you doing this week, I hope that you are fantastic super and

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creating an excellent week as you keep moving through it. So

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we have been talking about what happens when we're up against it

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and vulnerability and all the things last week we were talking

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about self love actually and how that really goes hand in hand

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with self care and broke down self care a little bit more and,

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and and what does it mean to actually self love? How great is

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that. And today, we are going to take on a topic that has it to

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me, I feel like it goes hand in hand with being up against it.

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And also self love, actually. And that's called fear and

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courage. And today, we're gonna talk about fear and courage. And

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I don't know why as I was preparing for this episode, I

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would go fear and courage, fear and courage goes together like a

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horse and carriage. Does anyone ever does anyone remember?

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Married with Children? Like I don't know why that theme song

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just rolls through my head as I as I was preparing for this. And

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I heard this once. I feel like it might have been a quote. But

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like fear is the resistance of courage. Courage is the

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resistance of fear. And I thought that was fascinating.

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Fear is the resistance of courage. Courage is the

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resistance of fear. Think about that for a second. Fear is the

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resistance of courage. And courage is the resistance of

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fear. super interesting. And here's what I know. What we

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resist persists. What we resist persists. And as you all know, I

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have certainly been up against it feeling very vulnerable,

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taking on this year of being vibrant and being in my

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integrity as I journey through this health, health

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transformation, which I'm pretty excited about. And also it

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scares me. You know, I was I've been talking about it. And so as

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we're getting closer, and today, this episode drops on 2020,

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which means tomorrow 20 to 2020 hello to 20 February 20, this

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episode drops. And I am obviously pre recording this and

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am currently scheduled to have my first knee replacement

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tomorrow. Okay. And as I'm recording this, we're about two

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weeks prior to that. And all systems are go I want to give

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you that update. All systems are go. We are well below the BMI

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Mark, we are continuing that trend down. There are still a

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few challenges that we've got to move through still some things

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with bloodwork and whatnot, that we're moving through, but you

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know, one day at a time and we're taking it on so I am

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requesting your prayers, your great thoughts and energy and

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white light and all the things to move through surgery and that

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things come out. Okay. And, and I really appreciate that I do

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believe in the power of prayer. I do believe in thoughts and

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positive thoughts and energy and I would be so incredibly

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grateful for yours. I would be so incredibly grateful for

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yours. Because I gotta tell you I'm scared. I'm so scared. Dang

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it. I'm so scared. And I am someone who have been known to

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be courageous you you've heard of I went skydiving. I'm not

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saying that I'm not. I don't get scared but I am courageous and I

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don't know why this one really has

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Got me, it's got me. And I'll tell you what, one of the things

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that I have a really hard time doing is asking for help. And I

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am asking for help all over the place, which is great, because

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that is supporting me in the transformation of who I'm

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becoming, right. Because we are not meant to do things all the

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time by ourselves like it is okay? To ask for help. Any

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visionary, any leader knows that nothing ever gets created

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without help without resources. And so, you know, as a leader,

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I'm like, hi, I know you have a hard time asking for help, it

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probably goes along with that tendency to please and those

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self limiting beliefs that I don't want to be a burden, I

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don't want to be a problem. But my goodness, let's go, let's,

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let's go. So you know, when we're up against it, and we're

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afraid, those self limiting beliefs can just be screaming at

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us and coming out coming in hot, right. And so really leaning

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into courage and being courageous really requires

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allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, they go hand in

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hand, they are not separate, right? They go hand in hand.

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To be courageous requires oneself to be vulnerable, to ask

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for help can require oneself to be vulnerable. And so even

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putting this out here to all of you. And making that request was

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like, does that feels self indulgent? Like is that? Is that

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appropriate? I am sharing these things with you. Because these

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are the things that go through my brain at times, and I cannot

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be alone. I think that we want to normalize these conversations

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that we have. Because if we normalize these conversations,

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and the conversations I'm talking about are the ones with

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the committee in our head, when we normalize them, we can break

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through them. And I'm just so incredibly clear about that. So

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I have been really afraid. And I have been asking for help. And

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y'all remember, Tim Stephenson, he was on the podcast, he gave

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us a gift of a visualization as we move into 2023. And I reached

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out to him and did some visualization work with him. And

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he's recording a visualization for me that's going to support

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me through this. And it I'm super excited. I reached out to

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someone who's a hypnotherapist that I really trust. And I had

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never done hypnotherapy before. So I thought, why not? Let's

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let's go like it. And she has really helped me to move through

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the blocks, you know, the blocks that have been getting in my

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way, and really assisting me to be brave, I definitely have been

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talking about it with my coach, my accountability partner, my

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trusted colleagues and friends and my family. And it's funny

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because sometimes I

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it's, again, it, I have three self limiting beliefs that can

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really come up, you're not enough, you're a burden in your

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problem, right? I've had them forever. We've talked about him

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before. And so you know, to lean in and really share what's true

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for me and talk about being scared. And being open to what I

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receive back. It's not been easy. And yet when I do it, it

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is easy. And I'm so grateful to all of those that have been

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incredibly supportive throughout this, it's, it's really, I am so

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grateful. So thank you. But I want to talk about this thing

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called fear and courage. And, you know, fear is the resistance

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of courage. Courage is the resistance of fear. Because I

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think it's so powerful. And I think that, you know, again,

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like I was sharing with you, it was surprising to me that I was

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feeling so scared, like really scared when it hit the two week

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mark. I was like, what, what?

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Right? What? And I just something like I just I felt it

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like this sinking feeling in my stomach, which for me is like,

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Oh, she's scared. She's scared. Okay. And so I think that going

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back to what we talked about last week, with self love,

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actually, that third thing, acceptance and accepting what is

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so so that we can move through was literally a key component to

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leaning into courage. True story. So really accepting and

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like acknowledging and honoring and saying out loud. Whoa, I'm

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scared. I'm scared. That does not make me

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weak Hello, it does not make me weak. It in fact makes me

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stronger. There's a quote from Franklin D. Roosevelt that I

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love. And it is courage is not the absence of fear, but rather

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the assessment that something else is more important than

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fear. I'm going to just say that one more time for you all.

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Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment

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that something else is more important than fear. That's

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Franklin D. Roosevelt. I'm like, yes, yes. Yes, sir. Thank you

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very much. Because it doesn't, you know, the thing is, is we

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can be courageous and have fear at the same time. Both can be

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true, I've been talking about it both can be true, we can be

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courageous and have fear. At the same time. However, to move

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through, it requires us to understand that there is

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something else more important than the fear. Okay? Fear is

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like false evidence appearing to be real. Have you heard that

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before? An acronym for fear is false evidence appearing to be

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real. Remember, we've talked about this before, our brain

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does not like uncertainty, it doesn't know what to do with it.

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It really loves certainty, right? And so what happens is,

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our brain starts painting pictures. And those pictures are

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usually doubt, and fear, okay? And then we can make them really

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bright, really vivid and give all sorts of attention to that.

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All right. And so the things that I know to be true, to move

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through fear, and lean into courage more are acceptance,

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resources, and being resourceful and asking for help. Seriously,

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those three things have always been tried and true, always

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tried and true. And so the other thing that I want to highlight

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here, is this something else is more important than fear. And I

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would suggest that that something else is what is it

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that you want, what's that vision that you have for

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yourself. So I might be sharing it through my knee replacement

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journeys, journeys, because plural this year, right? You can

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apply this to anything professional, personal, wherever

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you are taking the lead in your life, that vision for yourself,

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is got to be has got to be more important, it is more important

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than the fear. And the other piece is understanding why and

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why it's important. Your vision for yourself or your business.

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Okay, wherever you're landing with this, it can be all those

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places, it's got to be more important than the fear. And so

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how do you understand if it's more important, you got to

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understand why you've got to understand your purpose. And

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you've and your purpose is going to really guide you to why

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that's important. Okay. That going back in as Franklin D

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Roosevelt said, assessing, and understanding that something is

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more important. And and you know, there are people out there

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that that create things and do things and they make it look

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easy. I'm going to suggest that they were probably scared out of

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their mind too scared out of their mind to but the thing that

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assisted them in going forward anyway. And Being courageous is

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that they assessed that something was bigger than that.

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And more important than the fear. And they did it anyway,

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you know that quote, feel the fear do it anyway. Feel the fear

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do it anyway. All right. And so the thing about fear and courage

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and holding them both is true. Is that accepting this is

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happening then I remember to like actually recording this two

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weeks before I'm like, You know what, okay, we're at the two

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week mark stuffs happening, right? Things are happening. I'm

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getting calls from the surgeon I'm getting calls from the

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hospital like things are happening, getting things in the

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mail thing, this is happening, accepting that this is

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happening, and acknowledging what are the scary parts, like

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really understanding what's the scary part for me, the scary

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part is waking up in pain. And I think it's simply because of,

Unknown: 00:14:30

you know, what, what I experienced during the

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elbow surgery, and I'm not naive, I know there's gonna be

Unknown: 00:14:38

pain. There's just that there's a fear of that, but I

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acknowledge that I accept it. And then I can begin to design

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something different for myself, I can begin to create that what

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that experience was, doesn't have to be the next experience

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and I can start to design it. We are powerful, we are powerful.

Unknown: 00:14:58

And then not only design it but get

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Some help designing it. Okay. So acceptance so that you can start

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finding the parts that you want to work on, and then get to the

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business of working on that. So that the fear is not paralyzing

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you it's not keeping you stuck. All right? And then the next

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part is what are my resources? Right? And you heard me say,

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where I reached out, these are, these are resources. I also

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utilize the internet to be resourceful on what it means to

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recover from a knee replacement, right? Like, not just sit in it,

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but like, who and what are my resources and lean in and ask

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for help. Those are the three things that I really know are

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tried and true. Tried and True. I also, you know, I don't pass

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go without understanding what do I want? And why do I want it?

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purpose and outcome? Don't pass go without it. Right? And I got

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to go there first before I go to any sort of process or how or

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this or that, and on the days that it's scary, or the moments

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that it's scary. I can lean back to that and realize, yes, this

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is still really important to me. And so today I am brave today I

Unknown: 00:16:18

am courageous. So affirmations, affirming, affirming. You know

Unknown: 00:16:23

what? I got this. Let's go. Right. And I will listen and do

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the visualization work. I will do the tapping work. I will do

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my homework from the hypnotherapy work. I will.

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Here's the other one. This is my biggest one. I will pray. Okay,

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I will pray I will talk to God. Right? Talk to your higher

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power, whoever, whatever that is for you. We're never alone.

Unknown: 00:16:52

Okay, so I will pray and I will continue to pray. And that for

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me, does bring a sense of calm and a sense of peace. Okay, I'll

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tell you when I pray for courage for sure something shows up that

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makes me scared, just as it does, does, but that's okay.

Unknown: 00:17:10

Because it's another hurdle to move through to affirm that I am

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courageous. Okay, I am courageous. So, I want to leave

Unknown: 00:17:20

you with that. That fear is the resistance of courage, courage

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is the resistance of fear, what we resist persists. So where do

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I get to move forward? Remember the three things acceptance,

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this is happening? What in who are my resources and utilizing

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them by asking for help? And getting the help? Okay? We are

Unknown: 00:17:45

never alone. Affirm, right? pray, meditate, the things that

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are going to bring you the peace, that calm so that you can

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lean into the courage, right? We do not, absolutely do not ever

Unknown: 00:18:03

have to accept of like, I am going to just stay stuck here,

Unknown: 00:18:06

I'm going to be paralyzed in this fear. Okay, two things can

Unknown: 00:18:10

be true. I can be afraid and I can be courageous all at the

Unknown: 00:18:13

same time. Which 1am I going to feed? Right? which one I'm going

Unknown: 00:18:18

to am I going to feed I might feel really afraid. What's going

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to be required for me to move to courage and to step into courage

Unknown: 00:18:26

right here right now. Okay, that's what we that's what we

Unknown: 00:18:30

get to do. We are in charge. We are in charge, really and truly.

Unknown: 00:18:36

So remember, you know what, we have a choice to lead our lives

Unknown: 00:18:40

or follow our circumstances. And life truly is knowing like, what

Unknown: 00:18:45

are we passionate about? What are we wanting to be passionate

Unknown: 00:18:48

about? What are our purpose and our values, right? It's about

Unknown: 00:18:51

creating that impact in our life and the life of others. And

Unknown: 00:18:54

really, and truly, who emerges from taking the lead in their

Unknown: 00:18:57

lives are authentic, vulnerable, courageous, and, you know,

Unknown: 00:19:03

accepting that fear and courage can go hand in hand both can be

Unknown: 00:19:08

true, and we can choose and decide to lean into our courage.

Unknown: 00:19:14

By accepting understanding we have resources and leaning in

Unknown: 00:19:19

and asking for help. True story. True story. So with that, I will

Unknown: 00:19:25

always say it's not always going to look the way we think it's

Unknown: 00:19:28

supposed to. flexibility is key here, right? So we really get to

Unknown: 00:19:33

trust that more always gets revealed as we move forward, and

Unknown: 00:19:37

life is working for us. Life is working for us. Okay. More will

Unknown: 00:19:42

get revealed. And remember, take those pauses, let go of worry.

Unknown: 00:19:46

Let go of doubt and give yourself that permission to live

Unknown: 00:19:50

fully the best version of yourself. True story. All right.

Unknown: 00:19:54

I'm so excited next week. We have a phenomenal guest she is a

Unknown: 00:19:59

trusted

Unknown: 00:20:00

A colleague and friend of mine, Coach Meg Moore, and we're going

Unknown: 00:20:04

to continue talking about being up against it right and she has

Unknown: 00:20:09

some amazing stories that she's going to share. And we're going

Unknown: 00:20:12

to keep this going for the purpose of supporting you in

Unknown: 00:20:16

your visions and purpose. It's gonna be a great episode. I am

Unknown: 00:20:20

so thrilled to have her on you guys are gonna love Coach mag

Unknown: 00:20:25

love Coach mag. So thanks for listening today. I trust that

Unknown: 00:20:28

there is some great value for you as you move through your

Unknown: 00:20:31

day, move through your week, move through your month and take

Unknown: 00:20:34

the lead in your life. Thank you for prayers and thoughts and

Unknown: 00:20:40

good energy as I dive into my very first knee replacement

Unknown: 00:20:44

tomorrow, tomorrow, and I want to say thank you for being

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there. So have a great week ahead and you know the drill if

Unknown: 00:20:51

it's not shaping up the way you want it to take the lead and

Unknown: 00:20:55

create a fantastic one. I will talk with you all soon. Take

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care.

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Thanks for listening to another episode of Let's be honest

Unknown: 00:21:03

before we start pretending for more resources on taking the

Unknown: 00:21:07

lead in your life, head over to Kelly J mo beck.com and connect

Unknown: 00:21:13

with me on Instagram at coach Kelly mobile. If this episode

Unknown: 00:21:18

was helpful for you, please feel free to share it with friends

Unknown: 00:21:22

rate and review it on iTunes. That's Apple podcasts now, and

Unknown: 00:21:26

at any time, feel free to connect with me and let me know

Unknown: 00:21:29

what you want to hear next or what you're working on. I'm

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happy to help. Thanks again for listening and here's to you