Is it possible to regain or maintain mental health even when you are experiencing extended stress and ongoing challenge? The answer is YES! You have power over 3 things in life, your perceptions, your decisions and your actions.
You are not a victim of your circumstances , you are not ‘suffering’ irreversible afflictions, you are not at the mercy of what’s going on around you. Dr John Demartini shares how you have the power to completely transform your reality. You can balance your mind and your life with a few simple questions.
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So as long as you have an unrealistic expectation on yourself or others or the
Speaker:world around you to be one sided and expect to more advantage and disadvantage,
Speaker:the phobia is going to come up and the depression is the frustration of trying
Speaker:to get something that's not obtainable. I'm sure that
Speaker:You've had in your life periodically,
Speaker:particularly recently with the challenges that have probably confronted you,
Speaker:a stressful distracting state of
Speaker:mind.
Speaker:And you've probably felt more stressed than, well,
Speaker:I think in our life we have moments of stress throughout our life we perceive
Speaker:anyway,
Speaker:but probably more so with all the adaptation and
Speaker:seven months or so.
Speaker:I'd like to talk about your mental health.
Speaker:You sometimes can get perturbed from mental stability.
Speaker:And the question is, is how do you return to stable position?
Speaker:So I'd like to address that.
Speaker:So if you get a pencil and paper out or something to write with or write on,
Speaker:or take notes on, that would be probably useful. First of all,
Speaker:I want to say that stress
Speaker:or distress is the inability to adapt to a
Speaker:changing environment, inability to adapt to a changing environment.
Speaker:Why do we have the inability to adapt? Well, let's just break it down.
Speaker:We've had moments in our life where we've been infatuated with someone,
Speaker:or infatuated with an idea or infatuated with an opportunity,
Speaker:and we perceive consciously more
Speaker:upsides than downsides. We're conscious of the upsides,
Speaker:unconscious of the downsides. We're a bit elated or excited,
Speaker:literally an excitement, and
Speaker:we are not fully conscious of both sides of the event.
Speaker:So we're conscious of the upsides, unconscious of the downsides.
Speaker:And we activate in our amygdala a dopamine
Speaker:impulse to strive for,
Speaker:or seek that one-sided outcome.
Speaker:And so we are now infatuated with the outcome. We live in a fantasy in a sense,
Speaker:just like if you imagine meeting somebody that you're infatuated with,
Speaker:you imagine that there's going to be more positives than negatives in the
Speaker:future, that's why you want to be with them. There isn't but you imagine it,
Speaker:you fantasize about it so you've got that.
Speaker:The moment you perceive positive without negative,
Speaker:the moment you fear the loss of that which you seek.
Speaker:So I want to make a statement that the first form of distress that
Speaker:we have in our life is the perception of loss of
Speaker:that which we seek, that we assume has more positives than negatives.
Speaker:Which by definition is a fantasy.
Speaker:And that we imagined in the future in our minds,
Speaker:we conjured in our minds an outcome with way more positives than negatives,
Speaker:way more gains than losses, way more advantages over disadvantages. And
Speaker:as a result of it, we fear the loss of that, cause we want the dopamine.
Speaker:So we get fixated on the dopamine rush. We fear that, and
Speaker:the dopamine withdrawals is an anxiety. A fear.
Speaker:So that's one form of phobia and the fantasy is the name for a philia.
Speaker:So whenever we're philic and we're seeking something that way
Speaker:we have a phobia of it's loss. So anything
Speaker:we perceive more positives than negatives we have a phobia of about a loss. We
Speaker:also, and that's a seeking of prey in an animal, a wild
Speaker:situation, that's the seeking of prey. When we get food, we'll be happier, Ah,
Speaker:what a relief, get food.
Speaker:We also have another form of distress where we are perceiving
Speaker:that a predator's coming towards us or a challenge coming to us where we're
Speaker:perceiving in the future, more drawbacks, than benefits,
Speaker:more negatives than positives, more losses than gains,
Speaker:more disadvantage than advantage.
Speaker:And now we have a fear of that coming near us and we have a fantasy of
Speaker:escaping it. So we have a desire to either run or attack it,
Speaker:and to conquer it. But our fear
Speaker:of gain of that which we try to avoid is another form of distress.
Speaker:So let me summarize those. And that's when you're conscious
Speaker:of the negatives and unconscious of the positives and you fear the gain of that.
Speaker:And so it's opposite,
Speaker:whatever the opposite of that thing that you're afraid of will be a philia and
Speaker:you'll be seeking that. So the moment you have a philia,
Speaker:you are unconscious of the downsides.
Speaker:The moment you have a phobia you're unconscious of the upsides and you split
Speaker:your full consciousness, mindfulness, in half,
Speaker:and you're skewing it with a subjective bias and only see one side.
Speaker:And you've polarized and unstabilized your state of mind,
Speaker:your mental health. Now there's two forms of distress.
Speaker:The perception of loss of that which you seek, prey.
Speaker:And the perception of gain of that which you're trying to avoid, predator.
Speaker:I'm going to say it again. The perception of loss of that which you seek
Speaker:or infatuate with, prey. And the perception of gain of that,
Speaker:which you try to avoid, predator. Now,
Speaker:anything that supports what you value most in life
Speaker:can be perceived as prey and you can seek it.
Speaker:Anything that challenges what you value most can be perceived as predator.
Speaker:So this can be in any area of your life.
Speaker:You can have a perception of gain of money,
Speaker:and the loss of it now becomes stressful.
Speaker:Or the perception of loss of money and now that becomes a distressful,
Speaker:the loss of that, what you seek, right? Or the gain of that what you don't want.
Speaker:So bills are distressful and the loss of income is distressful.
Speaker:A gain of a relationship that you infatuate with or
Speaker:that you've been infatuated with or the gain of one you don't want.
Speaker:These are all distressful. In every area of our life we have distress,
Speaker:as a result of polarization of perception.
Speaker:And when we see both sides, when we are infatuated with somebody,
Speaker:we are blind to the downsides,
Speaker:when we're resentful to somebody we're blind to the upsides.
Speaker:And when we see both sides of them and we are neutral and we are
Speaker:objective, objectivity means neutral, non-biased, non partial,
Speaker:non subjectively biased, but neutral, then we don't fear the loss of it,
Speaker:we don't fear the gain of it.
Speaker:So if we are neutral and we don't fear the loss of something, we're no distress.
Speaker:If we're not resentful and we're neutral, we don't fear the gain of it.
Speaker:So if we have a balanced perspective, we reduce our distress levels.
Speaker:And when we have a balanced perspective we actually enhance our eustress
Speaker:levels. Eustress is wellness promoting. That's when
Speaker:embrace the support and the challenge equally.
Speaker:It's been shown that biologically,
Speaker:we grow most at the border of support and challenge,
Speaker:the border of order and chaos sometimes called.
Speaker:So when we embrace both of them in a balanced manner, we don't have distress.
Speaker:And our mind is stable and certain.
Speaker:Now let me elaborate on this one more level here. If
Speaker:I walked up to you and I said to you, you were always nice, never mean,
Speaker:always kind, never cruel, always positive, never negative, always peaceful,
Speaker:never wrathful, your internal BS meter would go off.
Speaker:And you would be immediately intuitively thinking of the times when you weren't
Speaker:that, always nice side.
Speaker:You'd be thinking of when you were cruel and mean and stingy, Et cetera,
Speaker:because you intuitively know that you're not one sided.
Speaker:And if I was to go up to you and say, well,
Speaker:you're always mean you're never nice, you're always cruel, never kind,
Speaker:always wrathful, never peaceful, always negative, never positive, always taking,
Speaker:never giving,
Speaker:your BS meter would go off again and you'd be thinking of the times you've been
Speaker:nice and generous and kind. And so your intuition,
Speaker:automatically makes you aware of the other side, when you're infatuated
Speaker:or resentful. It's trying to homeostate you and get you in balance,
Speaker:to stabilize your mind, where you're most resilient, most adaptable,
Speaker:least distressed, and most stable. If
Speaker:I said to you, sometimes you're kind, sometimes you're cruel,
Speaker:sometimes you're nice, sometimes you're mean, sometimes you're positive
Speaker:and negative, you would immediately have certainty. You would know.
Speaker:See, whenever we have subjective biases, we lose our certainty.
Speaker:And whenever we have our neutral state, we gain our certainty.
Speaker:And what's interesting is the moment we gain our certainty,
Speaker:we make decisions in ourself. We're in a sense,
Speaker:not offloading decision-making to others. We take command as a leader.
Speaker:So when we are balanced in our perspective,
Speaker:we have the highest probability of resilience, adaptability,
Speaker:leadership capacities, and we take action. Proaction
Speaker:not reaction, emotional reaction, like an animal,
Speaker:trying to seek impulsively or avoid by instinct.
Speaker:Instincts and impulses are sub-cortical amygdala responses when we have
Speaker:subjectively biased, incomplete awarenesses that are not balanced,
Speaker:and we're an automaton reacting like an animal to the world around us and the
Speaker:external world runs our life instead of the internal vision
Speaker:that is awakened when we are in our executive function, our reasonable,
Speaker:centered state when we have a balanced mind. So
Speaker:when we're stable and not bipolar, in a sense, and stable,
Speaker:we are the leader.
Speaker:Our mental health is enhanced to the degree
Speaker:that we can see both sides of an event.
Speaker:And we have events in our life that we think are terrible, then a day, a week,
Speaker:a month, a year, or five years later, we look back at them and we go
Speaker:'I'm thankful that that occurred now, but I didn't see that initially',
Speaker:but we can if we ask the right questions,
Speaker:see the other side immediately upon the experience,
Speaker:we can have the wisdom of the ages without the aging process by asking,
Speaker:how is this experience that we're seeing more drawbacks to,
Speaker:what are the upsides? And how is this experience we're seeing,
Speaker:all these positive, what are the downsides?
Speaker:And our addiction to positive thinking and not wanting to look at the negative
Speaker:side,
Speaker:and our subdiction from negative thinking is what stops us
Speaker:from being resilient. Our fantasy.
Speaker:We've been taught in society by the opium of the masses salespeople
Speaker:that we're supposed to be one-sided, and that's not true.
Speaker:That's for the masses to be easily misled and easily governed
Speaker:because of the frustration and stress.
Speaker:So they offload their decisions to authorities,
Speaker:usually politicians or religious leaders.
Speaker:But when we go and balance our mind,
Speaker:we re-empower our lives and take command and start functioning from intrinsic
Speaker:levels. Now, what's interesting is,
Speaker:if we live in alignment and congruent with what we value most,
Speaker:we are most objective, most resilient, most adaptable, most spontaneous,
Speaker:most inspired, and we solve a lot of our mental health issues.
Speaker:One thing,
Speaker:if there's one thing I could tell any human being to do on this planet,
Speaker:is to make sure you prioritize your life on a daily basis and be doing the
Speaker:things that are truly meaningful, inspiring, highest in priority, highest in
Speaker:productivity. The things that actually accomplish the most in a day,
Speaker:you have the highest resilience, adaptability, neutrality, and objectivity.
Speaker:You're least likely to go into the amygdala where you end up with emotional
Speaker:distress, and emotional bipolar responses. Now,
Speaker:depression is a comparison of your current reality, which is balanced,
Speaker:to a fantasy that you're addicted to that isn't. So
Speaker:as long as you have an unrealistic expectation on yourself or others or the
Speaker:world around you to be one sided and expect more advantage than disadvantage,
Speaker:the phobia is going to come up and the depression is the frustration of trying
Speaker:to get something that's not obtainable. As the Buddhist says,
Speaker:the desire for that which is unobtainable and the desire to avoid that which is
Speaker:unavoidable is the source of human suffering.
Speaker:And so when we're striving to get a one-sided world in a two-sided world,
Speaker:we're going to end up being distressed.
Speaker:And a lot of our bipolar responses and our depression responses are simply
Speaker:because we have completely unrealistic expectations on the world
Speaker:or others or ourselves to be one sided,
Speaker:or others to live in our highest values or us to live in somebody else's values
Speaker:or the world to live in our values.
Speaker:These delusions and unrealistic expectations are impossible to obtain
Speaker:and sustain. And they lead
Speaker:to depression because depression is a comparison of our current reality,
Speaker:which is balanced, to something that's fantasized.
Speaker:I've worked with many, many people who've had depression and I can tell you,
Speaker:even though they will tell you it's a biochemical imbalance, which is true,
Speaker:but that's not causal, that concomitant, but it's not causal.
Speaker:And we go around and we blame biochemical imbalances for our condition and
Speaker:the pharmaceutical companies love that.
Speaker:They like to promote that illusion so you can become dependent on them.
Speaker:But the real fact is it has nothing to do with just that.
Speaker:Because I've taken too many
Speaker:people in my years of working with people that have classically been called
Speaker:depressed and clinically depressed,
Speaker:and diagnosed with that and put on medications and gone in there and
Speaker:uncovered the unrealistic expectations they have in their life.
Speaker:The fantasies that they're holding onto. The delusions that they're doing,
Speaker:the dissociations of pains that they've stored in their subconscious mind,
Speaker:that they're dissociating and wanting to avoid and setting up a fantasy about
Speaker:how life's supposed to be. And then they're depressed.
Speaker:I've gone in there and identified what the fantasy is,
Speaker:crack the fantasy with the Demartini Method, the questions that balance it,
Speaker:found the upsides to the thing they think are depressed and the downsides to the
Speaker:fantasies about how they wish it would be,
Speaker:neutralized them out and all of a sudden, poof, their depression,
Speaker:this clinical depression and diagnosis they have is gone.
Speaker:Just freaking gone. And people, think that's not possible, but it's true.
Speaker:Excuse the expression,
Speaker:but it's just freaking true and it's frustrating to
Speaker:bombarding people with something that's not all true.
Speaker:There are some cases where you might need the medical approach.
Speaker:But that's not the first approach. That is absolutely not the first approach.
Speaker:You lose your power,
Speaker:you give it away and you depend on some sort of medication the rest of your life
Speaker:for something that you need to be accountable for.
Speaker:You don't even realize that every single moment in your life that you have an
Speaker:experience that you think is painful and you see the drawbacks to,
Speaker:and you don't take the time to find the upsides to,
Speaker:which your intuition's attempting to do,
Speaker:and you're choosing not to do it and ignore it,
Speaker:and you're wanting to dissociate from it and escape and put on a fantasy to try
Speaker:to avoid that world. The moment you do,
Speaker:you store that in your subconscious mind, the subconscious mind
Speaker:stores that experience and anything that reminds you of that,
Speaker:anything associated with that is compounding it and
Speaker:the secondary and tertiary compounding of events that are imbalanced
Speaker:initially in your perception,
Speaker:that you're trying to escape and create a fantasy to go towards and the
Speaker:addiction and fantasy that thing is going to give you more happiness and sadness
Speaker:in your imagination, compounds that state,
Speaker:and now more and more associations and more feeding of fantasies and more
Speaker:reminding of this original experience,
Speaker:polarizes your mind into a bipolar state and creates this depression and
Speaker:fantasy. And
Speaker:even though people like to think that you can have a depression without a
Speaker:fantasy, I've not seen one.
Speaker:In all the years I've been doing this with people I've not seen people that are
Speaker:depressed without comparing their current reality to some fantasy that they're
Speaker:elated by. So there is no depression without elation,
Speaker:but they're only conscious of one at a time and they go to the doctor and talk
Speaker:about it and run their story and be victims of their story.
Speaker:And the doctor just says, here,
Speaker:take a medication or here do a therapy and to try to get back to one sidedness
Speaker:again. Your mind is homeostatic. It is
Speaker:designed to bring your chemistry and your electronics in your brain back into
Speaker:balance. And your intuition is attempting to do it.
Speaker:Your physiology with its symptoms are trying to wake you up to see both sides of
Speaker:life,
Speaker:your sociology is humbling you and neutralizing you to try to get you there.
Speaker:The world around you is actually attempting to
Speaker:into a resilient and adaptive state.
Speaker:So you're not fearing the loss of things or the gain of things.
Speaker:You're actually present with things. And things are neutral,
Speaker:there are no good or bad events out there until
Speaker:somebody with a set of criteria, in context, with a narrowed mind,
Speaker:choose to subjectively bias their perception and label them so.
Speaker:There's just events. And if we go and look at events from a neutral perspective,
Speaker:then we are more resilient and adaptable and can use them
Speaker:to our advantage and see them on the way and not attach to this
Speaker:fantasy or nightmare that we make out of our lives.
Speaker:So I'm a firm believer that we need to learn to ask questions.
Speaker:For years I've been developing a methodology on
Speaker:stabilize the mind, because
Speaker:people that have grief or people that have depression or people that have
Speaker:bipolar or people that are dissociative,
Speaker:a lot of these psychological states are there
Speaker:because of experiences that they've chosen not to both sides to.
Speaker:Every weekend in the Breakthrough Experience I have people that think they'd
Speaker:been abandoned or think that they'd been hurt,
Speaker:or they think they've been criticized or been abused, put labels on things.
Speaker:And I go in there and I go, instead of labeling it and subjectively
Speaker:distorting it with some generalization,
Speaker:why not stop and look at what actually occurred. Okay.
Speaker:Somebody verbally criticized you, okay. And by the way,
Speaker:what were you doing that was challenging their value that they would want to do
Speaker:that. Were you cocky? Self-righteous? Were you projecting, were you expecting?
Speaker:Were you doing something that went against what they valued?
Speaker:Were you being disobedient? Were you being dishonorable? What were you doing?
Speaker:I've not seen a case where there's this innocent victim in there.
Speaker:Pardon if that just offends you, but by God it's time to wake up nd
Speaker:look at that. Because I find, when I see is when people are accountable,
Speaker:they can do something with their life.
Speaker:If they blame somebody and dissociate 'Well, they did it.
Speaker:I'm an innocent victim', they run their story,
Speaker:being a victim of their history instead of a master of their destiny.
Speaker:But if they actually see that their dynamic is playing in this,
Speaker:what role they're playing in the dynamics,
Speaker:they liberate themselves and they realize that they have control over three
Speaker:things in their life. They have control over their perceptions, decisions,
Speaker:and actions. They can take that perception that they think is terrible,
Speaker:they can find the upside and spin it and neutralize it. It's not that it's
Speaker:negative.
Speaker:It's just chosen to be negative because you're choosing to not look and be
Speaker:accountable and bring your balance sheet back into balance and see both sides of
Speaker:it. In the Demartini Method that I teach in the Breakthrough Experience,
Speaker:it's a very interesting question.
Speaker:You have an event in your life you think is terrible.
Speaker:You have this individual that did a particular act that you labeled awful,
Speaker:and you go, okay,
Speaker:what specific trait action or inaction do you perceive this individual
Speaker:displaying or demonstrating that you disliked, despise and hated most? Okay.
Speaker:They verbally criticized you. Okay. Or they hit you across the face,
Speaker:or whatever it may be. Okay, great.
Speaker:Now what you do is you now look and reflect.
Speaker:Because it's unfair to judge somebody with something that what they've done when
Speaker:you're not looking at yourself, you know,
Speaker:the old biblical statement pluck the mote out of your own eye before you pluck
Speaker:it out of somebody else's. So now you go to the moment where,
Speaker:and when you perceive in your own life, yourself,
Speaker:displaying or demonstrating the same or similar behavior or trait,
Speaker:action or inaction that you despise in them,
Speaker:and you go and find out where you've done it. Now
Speaker:I've been doing this for 30 something years now, 35 years.
Speaker:And I've yet to find something that somebody sees in others that they haven't
Speaker:got in their own life. And every week I got people saying, 'No, I don't do that.
Speaker:I pride myself in never doing that. I would never do that.' Bull.
Speaker:I've been doing this 35 years. And I'm absolutely certain,
Speaker:you will not see something in somebody else without you,
Speaker:if you're being upset about it and it's reminding you of something you're
Speaker:feeling ashamed of inside yourself, It's an ancient proverb. But it's not,
Speaker:it's being accountable to take a look. Because once you
Speaker:realize that the reason they're doing it is to wake you up and make sure you
Speaker:don't leave something hanging in your own subconscious mind,
Speaker:that's running you and allow you to see the benefits of it and ask yourself,
Speaker:'Where have I done that?' And you own it a hundred percent.
Speaker:That softens some of the judgment and makes you realize what roles you did in
Speaker:doing it, why you did it when you did it, and now why they may be doing it.
Speaker:You might start reflecting on what role you're playing in the dynamic.
Speaker:And then you go and ask, go to a moment where,
Speaker:and when you perceive them displaying or demonstrating that specific trait,
Speaker:action or action that you despise most. And in that moment,
Speaker:and from that moment now to now, how did it serve you?
Speaker:If you find out and just say, 'Well,
Speaker:it doesn't.' Well then you're the victim and you're going to be angry.
Speaker:And then they're going to run you.
Speaker:And then you're going to be a victim of your history.
Speaker:And then you're going to be wanting,
Speaker:to avoid it and be seeking it's fantasy and then fearing it's loss and fearing
Speaker:that gain. And you're now lost your resilience and adaptability.
Speaker:And you've got mental health issue. Now you're living in phobias and fantasies,
Speaker:and you're kind of bipolar swinging from one or the other.
Speaker:When you're around people that are doing one you're depressed.
Speaker:If you're around another, now you're elated.
Speaker:These are illusions and you're run from an external world instead of being c
Speaker:ommanding from within. When you live by your highest values,
Speaker:you're objective and you're resilient,
Speaker:and you balance out your perspectives and you don't let the world run you.
Speaker:You don't see bad or good out there. You see gray,
Speaker:you see neither good nor evil, you see an event and you have the resilience.
Speaker:So you go and find out the benefits, stack up the benefits.
Speaker:When the benefits equal the drawbacks and you're neutral,
Speaker:it has no power over you. Nothing. It's an event and you see
Speaker:just as many advantages and you've now see it on the way, not in the way.
Speaker:And now, instead of having to run towards a fantasy,
Speaker:which is unobtainable and trying to avoid that, which is unavoidable,
Speaker:and sitting there in your suffering and your passionate frenzy for a fantasy,
Speaker:you're now centered. Now your depression is not there. Now,
Speaker:your fantasy is not there. Your grief of this loss of the fantasy,
Speaker:and this grief of this gain of this nightmare is gone. You're stable.
Speaker:You're resilient. You've return back to your executive function.
Speaker:You're more likely to be fulfilled and inspired.
Speaker:Fulfillment means filling full the mind of what's empty. And when we're
Speaker:looking down at something that we resent and we're too proud to admit what we
Speaker:see in them inside us, we have an emptiness.
Speaker:We're too humble to admit what we see in them inside us when we're infatuated
Speaker:and fantasizing, we are disowning that part and then again, empty.
Speaker:But when we actually have reflective awareness and own what we see,
Speaker:we have stability. I've been doing the Demartini
Speaker:Method and developing it since I was 18 years old and clinically working with it
Speaker:for about 35 plus years. And it's simple.
Speaker:It's really simple. The questions you
Speaker:ask in your life make you cognizant of what you've been unconscious of and
Speaker:liberate you from the misperceptions of a subjective bias that you're trapped
Speaker:in, that you are polarizing your life with,
Speaker:which is adding to your distress levels, adding to your non resilient levels.
Speaker:And if you ask those questions and they're simple questions and hold yourself
Speaker:accountable to them, you can neutralize them in minutes. Not years,
Speaker:minutes. In hours you've cleared stuff that's been baggaged for years I've seen.
Speaker:Every weekend in the Breakthrough Experience I've
Speaker:parents and relationships and marriages and kids and injuries
Speaker:and beatings and sexual issues and you name it.
Speaker:There is nothing in this outer world,
Speaker:there's nothing your mortal body can experience through your senses,
Speaker:that your immortal soul, state of unconditional love,
Speaker:can't transcend and integrate.
Speaker:And so mental health is actually the ability to ask questions to
Speaker:stabilize your perceptions and take command of your life again.
Speaker:And to go and blame some external source for your problems in your mental
Speaker:health, to me is not the solution. In rare cases, it exists.
Speaker:I won't deny that on rare cases it is, but most of these cases,
Speaker:most people just run off to their little pill factory,
Speaker:go get their little pill for every ill, and go and
Speaker:neutralize themselves that way instead of taking command.
Speaker:And most people can't face the truth of their nature.
Speaker:They're too fragile as an ego to face the truth that they're both sided.
Speaker:See, many years ago I went to the encyclopedia, not the encyclopedia,
Speaker:the dictionary, an Oxford dictionary,
Speaker:and I went and I found 4,628 traits in my behavior.
Speaker:And I went through the dictionary and I circled all the traits that a human
Speaker:being can have. 4,628 traits.
Speaker:When I went through that dictionary and I found that,
Speaker:and then I looked inside myself and I found that I had every one of them.
Speaker:There was times when I was nice and times I was mean, I was kind, I was cruel,
Speaker:I was honest, I was dishonest, I was open, I was closed,
Speaker:I was considerate and inconsiderate. And I went through there,
Speaker:cruel kind, and I realized that I had every one of those traits,
Speaker:if I was honest. And that every one of those traits had a place.
Speaker:There's a time and a place for every one of those behaviors.
Speaker:And it's idyllic and fantasy to think you're supposed to be one sided
Speaker:and try to get half of yourself, get rid of it.
Speaker:I've watched people try to get rid of half of their life and be only one sided
Speaker:for years and never found it achieving. Nobody gets rid of a side of their life.
Speaker:If I asked you,
Speaker:what are the traits you've been trying to get rid of in your life? Meanness,
Speaker:whatever in your life, anger, whatever. You still got it.
Speaker:You're not going to get rid of some part of yourself.
Speaker:You got to learn to love all parts of yourself.
Speaker:How are you going to love yourself
Speaker:if you're trying to get rid of half of yourself?
Speaker:How are you going to love the world if you're trying to get rid of half of it?
Speaker:How are you going to have a stable physiology and psychology if you're
Speaker:constantly bipolarizing yourself,
Speaker:by trying to get rid of one side and only be one side?
Speaker:That's like trying to get a one-sided magnet, which is unobtainable.
Speaker:If you cut the magnet in half and try to get a monopole, you won't find it.
Speaker:Even in quantum theory and quantum fluctuations with
Speaker:you only have transient monopoles and those may actually be entangled after all.
Speaker:Physics hasn't confirmed that yet. There is no monopole in our reality,
Speaker:but people live in a fantasy and opium of the masses trying to get a one-sided
Speaker:world, instead of embracing the two sides that life has to offer.
Speaker:Because you need maximum growth.
Speaker:And that occurs at the border of the two sides.
Speaker:So if you get support and you get a prey and you get food,
Speaker:you get glutinous, you get overweight, you get out of fitness.
Speaker:If you get the predator eating you and you get starving and emaciated,
Speaker:you get out of fitness. But if you put the two together, support and challenge,
Speaker:nice and mean, kind and cruel, you put them together, you maximize your growth.
Speaker:You'll find out across the world there's a social hierarchy and a network of all
Speaker:kinds of different value systems. And they're complete opposites.
Speaker:And the law of Eristic Escalation shows that the more you try to promote one,
Speaker:the other escalates, to balance it.
Speaker:Nature has a wisdom that we with our fantasy world, overlook,
Speaker:and that it is trying to keep us centered and homeostative.
Speaker:Life itself is negentropic homeostasis and allostasis,
Speaker:constantly being perturbed,
Speaker:a dynamic system of equilibriums going on and constantly returning back.
Speaker:And our intuition and our physiological homeostatic mechanisms are trying to get
Speaker:us there. So if we schedule a fantasy and have an unrealistic expectation,
Speaker:we're going to perturb our life. If we expect to be in a marriage, for instance,
Speaker:that's all nice, never mean, all kind, never cruel, all support,
Speaker:never challenge, we're going to end up with anger and aggression,
Speaker:blame and betrayal, criticism and challenge, despair and depression,
Speaker:desire to exit and escape, frustration and futility,
Speaker:desire to have grief and grouchiness, hatred and hurt,
Speaker:irritability and insanity.
Speaker:We're going to have the ABCDEFGHI's of negativity as a result of an unrealistic
Speaker:expectation.
Speaker:But if we realize that the human being that we're in relationship with,
Speaker:or a business that we have a relationship with, or a goal,
Speaker:which a real objective is a balanced goal, then we have something we can obtain.
Speaker:We can't obtain a one-sided state.
Speaker:So our mental health is disturbed by the pursuit of
Speaker:monopolar perceptions,
Speaker:and they break us apart and they separate the inseparables,
Speaker:divide the Indivisibles, label the unlabelbles, name the ineffables,
Speaker:polarize the impolarizables and unstabilize the stablebles.
Speaker:And we're capable of setting real objectives if we stick to our highest
Speaker:priorities and get objective.
Speaker:The Demartini Method is a science on how to return to that state.
Speaker:My value training program that I teach on how to get live by highest values,
Speaker:how to determine what your values are and determine what your highest one is and
Speaker:live by the highest values.
Speaker:The combination of living by priority and asking the Demartini Method questions
Speaker:that help you neutralize it,
Speaker:is one of the most powerful ways that you can do it yourself.
Speaker:Instead of having to take a pill,
Speaker:instead of having to go to your therapist or whatever you have command over your
Speaker:own life, but you may not have ever been given the permission to do it.
Speaker:You've not given yourself permission to take command of it and you can,
Speaker:and you can learn it and you can apply it.
Speaker:And you can see the results on the spot in the minutes you do it.
Speaker:Every time you answer the questions with accountability,
Speaker:you watch the physiological and psychological stability return.
Speaker:I've seen it and been watching it for 30 something years,
Speaker:and I'm certain about it. And it's insane not to take advantage of learning it.
Speaker:So your mental health is constantly trying to get yourself
Speaker:stable. It's attempting, your brain is
Speaker:a highest value seeking organ. It's looking for objective reason.
Speaker:It's looking for order in chaos.
Speaker:It creates order if it can't find it until it finds it.
Speaker:It's designed to homeostate. It's got feedback systems, chemically,
Speaker:electronically, and bio physiologically.
Speaker:There's tremendous amount of feedback loops in the system to try to homeostate
Speaker:you. And if you don't perturb it by delusions and unrealistic expectations,
Speaker:it will do its job. And if we ask the quality questions,
Speaker:the quality of our lives is based on the quality of the questions we ask,
Speaker:if we ask the quality questions I've outlined in the Demartini Method,
Speaker:to help you stabilize that,
Speaker:you're not going to be living in the fear of what you seek,
Speaker:fear of loss of what you seek and fear of gain of what you are trying to avoid
Speaker:all the time. That's insanity.
Speaker:Insanity is expecting the world to somehow match your fantasy.
Speaker:It's not going to. The world is set up by 7.8 billion people,
Speaker:all with unique sets of values,
Speaker:the culmination of all those cancel each other out and balance each other out in
Speaker:the homeostatic mechanism.
Speaker:Countercultures are there constantly to try to neutralize the illusions of one
Speaker:sidedness and nature has a wisdom to do it. You even,
Speaker:if you look in your family, your family has the wisdom of it,
Speaker:whatever you're dedicated to, you got an antiparticle brother or sister,
Speaker:whoever you marry your disowned parts to try to make sure that those are
Speaker:balanced. Nature has a way,
Speaker:you keep attracting people to keep confronting the things that stored in your
Speaker:subconscious mind to wake you up. The universe is working on your behalf.
Speaker:And it's a living beautiful system.
Speaker:It's a magnificent world we actually live in.
Speaker:We people are sitting there and thinking it's not, but it is.
Speaker:It's really more intelligent than we comprehend,
Speaker:and it's us that have delusions and unrealistic expectations that are
Speaker:making us unstable. And then there's misinformation,
Speaker:all the social media channels, and that which circulates the most,
Speaker:usually has the least value.
Speaker:And we go around and we go on social media and don't even realize it's
Speaker:controlling us extrinsically by the opium of the masses,
Speaker:whatever sells and sells dopamine. And we're bombarded by that,
Speaker:instead of actually using it and selectively using
Speaker:priority, based on your values,
Speaker:based on your mission and do something amazing and contribute information on
Speaker:that, to help stabilize yourself and the people around you.
Speaker:And I'm absolutely certain you have the capacity to restabilize,
Speaker:whatever perturbation you've experienced that has caused you so-called mental
Speaker:illness. I've seen grief dissolve. My grief method,
Speaker:I'm absolutely guarantee,
Speaker:I've done at 3,580 something times in deaths,
Speaker:and I've taken and dissolved grief. I'm certain about it.
Speaker:We've done it under studies at a university.
Speaker:We've done it in television and radio. We've done it in crisis care and groups.
Speaker:I'm absolutely certain that you have the capacity to transform perceptions.
Speaker:We keep giving power to the external world, instead of realizing it's
Speaker:all within. You have control of your perception, decisions, and actions.
Speaker:If you can prioritize,
Speaker:your perceptions and link everything that happens in your life in your
Speaker:perceptions to your highest values,
Speaker:you will be resilient and adaptable and empowered.
Speaker:And if you can prioritize your daily
Speaker:actions towards that highest one and make a decision to do both,
Speaker:you reclaim your life and you can master your life.
Speaker:I'm interested in helping people master their life.
Speaker:And there's absolutely no reason why you can't master it.
Speaker:You don't have to be victims of history.
Speaker:You don't have to be bipolarized all over the place.
Speaker:You don't need a day in medication, because of your little distress levels.
Speaker:That's not the solution in my opinion. And I know
Speaker:that that's probably sounding bias to some of you that are used to
Speaker:pharmaceutical world. But I don't,
Speaker:I haven't had a medicine in 47 years now,
Speaker:and it's not something you got to have in your life. It's choice.
Speaker:Educate yourself and learn how to do something that takes accountability.
Speaker:The people don't want to work, and they want to go and take a quick fix,
Speaker:but you have the
Speaker:capacity to take command of your life iff you're willing to learn.
Speaker:And once you master it, you change your power.
Speaker:And you can empower your life or disempower it.
Speaker:The Demartini Method was there designed to empower your life. It was
Speaker:designed to take command of your life. Designed to help you become masterful,
Speaker:it's designed to help you integrate that which you've got perturbed,
Speaker:it's allow you to take the things that you're infatuated or resentful to and
Speaker:neutralize them, so you're not run by the external world,
Speaker:you're run by your vision.
Speaker:The thing that you want to contribute on the planet that's deeply meaningful to
Speaker:you. The mean is the mean, the mean is the middle point.
Speaker:When you extract the mean from things, when you're infatuated,
Speaker:you're extracting and finding the downside, that takes you back to the mean.
Speaker:When you're resentful to something you're finding the upside,
Speaker:that takes you back to the mean. When you get back to the mean,
Speaker:you're centered and you have meaning. So if you want meaning,
Speaker:if you want fulfillment,
Speaker:you can't have fulfillment if you're a seeing half of it missing. Fulfillment,
Speaker:meaning, inspiration, gratitude, love, certainty, presence,
Speaker:that's what living by your highest value and living
Speaker:and doing the Demartini Method's about. So if you want stabilized mental health,
Speaker:it's available to you if you're willing to work. If you don't want to work,
Speaker:well, I guess you'll go to the alternative one.
Speaker:You'll try to go to somebody to listen to your story so you can be a victim of
Speaker:your story and run your story for years and years and years,
Speaker:or you'll take some sort of medication.
Speaker:And I'm not saying that medication doesn't have a place in some cases, but way,
Speaker:way, way less than what's being done today.
Speaker:So all I can say is I wanted to share that because if you're
Speaker:perturbed by the challenges around you,
Speaker:just know the challenges aren't anything but your perceptions,
Speaker:the challenges are your perceptions.
Speaker:I've seen people who've been through the most amazing challenges in their life,
Speaker:and I've seen them turn it into opportunity and no longer see that way.
Speaker:I watched
Speaker:a guy that supposedly lost $750 million and had his bank
Speaker:account cleaned out by a business partner in a hedge fund deal,
Speaker:$750 million, boom, from $750 million to zero.
Speaker:And I watched him in 48 minutes, turn that into one of the grace tear jerking,
Speaker:thank you's and opportunities. And you probably think, well,
Speaker:how could that possibly be? It was absolutely mind blowing to watch it,
Speaker:the quality of your life's based on the quality of the questions you ask.
Speaker:If you ask amazing questions, your life can be amazing.
Speaker:And the amazing questions are the ones that bring you back into stability and
Speaker:equilibrium out of the perturbations of your perceptions,
Speaker:that you've chosen subconsciously to imbalance. And if you balance it,
Speaker:you freed. And some people don't believe it's that simple, but it is.
Speaker:And it's not simple in the sense of taking accountability, but it's simple
Speaker:once you do. And if you take that, it's available.
Speaker:I just want to give you a reminder.
Speaker:There's a gift at the end of this little presentation. Last week,
Speaker:I did a presentation that I wanted to mention to you.
Speaker:It's basically how to discover the hidden order that
Speaker:underlies and unites and empowers all of us.
Speaker:It was a very powerful presentation.
Speaker:One of my more out there and inspiring,
Speaker:down the rabbit hole kind of presentations. The views
Speaker:of this have been off the chart. It's free. It's a complimentary gift,
Speaker:but what I want you to do is I want you to just listen to it a few times and
Speaker:really grasp what's there. Because if you have mental health issues,
Speaker:listen to that four or five times. It'll help you recenter yourself.
Speaker:And then find a way of getting to the Breakthrough Experience and learn the D
Speaker:emartini Method, or get access to the Demartini Method if you can,
Speaker:and read the Values Factor to get back onto priority in your life,
Speaker:it will stabilize your mental health. And if you have questions about it,
Speaker:we got Olark questions on our website,
Speaker:you can contact us and we'll do what we can to help, but just know,
Speaker:please take advantage of that free gift,
Speaker:it's a mindblowing presentation I did on finding the hidden order in your
Speaker:apparent chaos, because there is order in your life that you're not seeing.
Speaker:And the second you see it,
Speaker:your mental health issues can dissolve instead of dissociating from nightmares
Speaker:and looking for fantasies,
Speaker:you can stabilize your life and appreciate the magnificence of your life.
Speaker:So I just wanted to take the time to do that.
Speaker:Also check out our YouTube channel,
Speaker:and there's lots of YouTube educational experiences, just like this one.
Speaker:If this has been a value to you, take advantage of that.
Speaker:Please share that with people, pass the torch on to other people.
Speaker:If you know somebody, while I was talking here,
Speaker:you thought of somebody that could have benefited from hearing this,
Speaker:get a copy of this,
Speaker:get it to them and let them know about the YouTube videos because we're here to
Speaker:educate and that information that when it gets out there,
Speaker:it can make a difference in people's lives.
Speaker:We get thousands of letters and emails coming in from people that says,
Speaker:thank you, it made a difference in our life. Demartini Show and podcast,
Speaker:and take advantage of our website. Our website is filled with educational.
Speaker:Our media section in there is filled with it. The Demartini Method is on there.
Speaker:The Value Determination process is on there. Take advantage of all of them.
Speaker:Please pass that torch because there's no way people have to be sitting there
Speaker:running their stories and being victims of their history when they can be
Speaker:masters of destiny.
Speaker:[Inaudible].
Speaker:Thank you for joining me for this presentation today.
Speaker:If you found value out of the presentation,
Speaker:please go below and please share your comments.
Speaker:We certainly appreciate that feedback.
Speaker:And be sure to subscribe and hit the notification icons.
Speaker:That way I can bring more content to you and share more to help you maximize
Speaker:your life. I look forward to our next presentation.