Shownotes
In this episode of Chef Life Radio, I sit down with Kimberly Flear, founder of Last Call Coaching, to discuss mental health challenges in the hospitality industry and the importance of creating a recovery-friendly workplace.
Join the Crew & Support The Show
Kimberly shares her personal journey and the initiatives she champions, such as breathwork, body movement, and post-shift debriefs, as strategies to combat burnout and emotional strain.
We explore the need for a cultural shift towards support and accountability, emphasizing the importance of meeting people where they are and the long-term vision of changing industry norms.
Chapters
00:00 - Introduction and Episode Overview
00:21 - Meet Kimberly Flear: Mental Health Advocate
02:03 - The Stigma of Mental Health in Hospitality
03:30 - Kimberly's Personal Journey and Industry Challenges
10:09 - Pathways to Recovery and Support Systems
20:20 - Self-Care Practices and Personal Growth
25:57 - Future Vision and Industry Change
31:46 - Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Links In The Show
Stay Tall & Frosty and Lead from Your Heart,
Adam
Join the Crew & Support The Show @Join the Crew & Support The Show
Subscribe: The Recipe For Your Success Newsletter
Learn More @ Chef Life Coaching
Like, Follow & Subscribe to Chef Life Radio @ Listen to Chef Life Radio: Empowering Culinary Leaders
Realignment Media
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp
Transcripts
Adam M Lamb: Welcome back to the Show Chef.
Speaker:What if the bravest thing that you could do was to ask for help?
Speaker:In an industry where long hours high heat and silent suffering are worn like
Speaker:badges of honor, it's easy to forget that we're humans first, chef's second.
Speaker:That's why I sat down with Kimberly Flear founder of Last Call Coaching.
Speaker:A leader in mental health wellness for hospitality professionals for real.
Speaker:Talk on what it takes to shift the culture from burnout to support
Speaker:Kimberly's not talking from theory.
Speaker:She's lived it, and in this episode she breaks down why breath work
Speaker:and body movement aren't soft.
Speaker:They're strategic.
Speaker:How to spot the signs of emotional strain before it turns into a crisis
Speaker:and what it really means to create a recovery friendly workplace.
Speaker:We talk about the pressure to perform.
Speaker:Stories we don't tell and how often conversations can be the
Speaker:first step towards a kitchen that actually feels safe.
Speaker:If you've ever felt like you had to leave parts of yourself outside
Speaker:the walk-in just to get through the day, this one's for you.
Speaker:We'll get into all that and much more right after this message.
Speaker:This is Chef Life Radio and I'm your host Chef Adam Lamb.
Speaker:I'm a culinary career coach dedicated to assisting hospitality professionals
Speaker:just like you who enjoy their careers without having to sacrifice their lives.
Speaker:I coach chefs on leadership, communication, culture.
Speaker:And relationship mastery.
Speaker:If you've lost your passion, purpose, or drive, you either want to move
Speaker:up or out, then let's connect.
Speaker:Go to chef life coaching.com/discovery, and now let's get to the good stuff.
Speaker:We're thrilled to have Kimberly flir here with us on the show.
Kimberly Flear:Thanks, Adam.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: And first off, gotta ask, how you feeling?
Kimberly Flear:Yeah, I'm feeling really good.
Kimberly Flear:It's Friday.
Kimberly Flear:I live in a beautiful place.
Kimberly Flear:I feel good in my body.
Kimberly Flear:Gratitude is the superpower of the day.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: You know, here on the show, longtime listeners know that, uh, we
Kimberly Flear:pound the drum pretty religiously around.
Kimberly Flear:Um, the stigma of, of mental health, uh, hospitality industry and the fact
Kimberly Flear:that we haven't been very good stewards over human capital for a long time.
Kimberly Flear:And these things went unnoticed and unrecognized and was chalked up to,
Kimberly Flear:yeah, that's the way it's gonna be.
Kimberly Flear:So, you know, either you can hang with it or not.
Kimberly Flear:What we've come to understand, especially through the pandemic, is we can do
Kimberly Flear:a lot better as the founder and lead facilitator of Last Call Coaching.
Kimberly Flear:Over the last several months, I've noticed that you've become a very focused voice
Kimberly Flear:on places like LinkedIn, talking about the stigma of mental health issues in the
Kimberly Flear:hospitality industry, and you're just not gonna put up with that bullshit anymore.
Kimberly Flear:I'm not gonna put up with it.
Kimberly Flear:No.
Kimberly Flear:You know, it's really, I think about being a voice for those who don't have one.
Kimberly Flear:We're silenced by stigma and we're living in a culture that represents
Kimberly Flear:that it's always been this way and that there is no other way.
Kimberly Flear:And I'm here to kind of challenge those industry norms and be a little
Kimberly Flear:bit disruptive in the process.
Kimberly Flear:And I think that's quite a nature of someone who comes
Kimberly Flear:from the hospitality industry.
Kimberly Flear:We are known to be a little disruptive.
Kimberly Flear:You know, we kind of don't conform to society's rules.
Kimberly Flear:We kind of take on that misfit kind of personality.
Kimberly Flear:And so after my own journey of struggling pretty intensely with some
Kimberly Flear:self-destructive behaviors, habits, patterns, all which were fueled
Kimberly Flear:by the industry, not necessarily starting in the industry, but what
Kimberly Flear:happened is the industry attracted me.
Kimberly Flear:So I could escape.
Kimberly Flear:So I could numb out.
Kimberly Flear:And I think that's a missing component in a lot of the conversations and a lot of
Kimberly Flear:the awareness that's being brought forward is that we're dealing with a group of
Kimberly Flear:individuals who someone are looking for that escape or looking for that kind of
Kimberly Flear:just outside the nine to five, something that allows them to constantly be like
Kimberly Flear:the dopamine rush of a busy service.
Kimberly Flear:The adrenaline, the instant gratification, all of those are
Kimberly Flear:not necessarily recognized as being something that can hinder mental
Kimberly Flear:health, if not addressed properly.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:Kind of underlying culture of instant gratification and how in my career
Kimberly Flear:that really served me, you know, I got into the industry ultimately
Kimberly Flear:because I was a, I didn't know it in the moment, but once I got into it, I
Kimberly Flear:was kinda like looking for a community and a place to be, you know, fully me.
Kimberly Flear:Anthony Bourdain is on record as saying, you know, the kitchen's one of the last
Kimberly Flear:great merit autocracies, and it's true if you can kick ass on your station.
Kimberly Flear:Nobody really gives a shit.
Kimberly Flear:You know, they don't care where you come from, what color you are,
Kimberly Flear:what your background is, and very often they don't give a shit about
Kimberly Flear:what you're doing in your off time.
Kimberly Flear:So speak to me about how your career has influenced what you're doing now.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah, it, it's so embedded with every corner of what I do.
Kimberly Flear:You know, I have a plaque on my wall of lived experience spending 25 plus years
Kimberly Flear:in the industry and not necessarily really recognizing the problem.
Kimberly Flear:When I was in it in my twenties, it was fun, and I got to travel and I
Kimberly Flear:was really good at my job, but things started to deteriorate pretty quickly.
Kimberly Flear:There was no help there.
Kimberly Flear:You know, I kept losing jobs for drinking on shift.
Kimberly Flear:I kind of say sometimes the industry ate me up and spit me out without a
Kimberly Flear:resource in hand, and so that's really what sparked something inside of me.
Kimberly Flear:Once I cleared my own head, I had to take a step away from the industry.
Kimberly Flear:I had to take a step away, so I took a couple of years off, and in that time
Kimberly Flear:just really reflected on my own journey.
Kimberly Flear:And then got hit with a tragedy of losing a friend who was also an industry
Kimberly Flear:veteran who walked a similar path.
Kimberly Flear:You know, he couldn't keep a job.
Kimberly Flear:By the end, he was getting let go and bouncing around
Kimberly Flear:from restaurant to restaurant.
Kimberly Flear:And again, just as you said, nobody questions what we're bringing with us.
Kimberly Flear:As long as you can do your job well, no matter the state of mind that you're in,
Kimberly Flear:you know, there were days where we were surfing tables and with no sleep, right?
Kimberly Flear:Some of us are still high on whatever it was that we took that morning.
Kimberly Flear:And I've worked in some really high reputation places and nobody questions it
Kimberly Flear:because as long as you get the job done.
Kimberly Flear:And so in 2021, that's really when it sparked this desire and this pull
Kimberly Flear:towards wanting to help the industry.
Kimberly Flear:I give credit to the industry for everything that I was, everything
Kimberly Flear:I am and everything I will be.
Kimberly Flear:I hit the road at.
Kimberly Flear:15 years old, I found community.
Kimberly Flear:I found people who gave me attention and the care and the
Kimberly Flear:love I didn't receive as a child.
Kimberly Flear:And so
Kimberly Flear:that's where it kicked off.
Kimberly Flear:And I love everything about this industry, but I love it so much that
Kimberly Flear:it can't continue the way that it is.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:Or it's not going to survive.
Kimberly Flear:The new generation is not gonna take it.
Kimberly Flear:More establishments are gonna recognize this.
Kimberly Flear:More organizations are gonna realize their doors are gonna have to, you
Kimberly Flear:know, it's not gonna look good for them if we don't start taking action
Kimberly Flear:and taking care of our people, just like we take care of our guests.
Kimberly Flear:Without the guests, we have no business, without the staff, we have no business.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: That really lands with me because I'm also thinking about.
Kimberly Flear:Our responsibility to take accountability, right?
Kimberly Flear:For the things that happen to us, the situations that we put ourselves in.
Kimberly Flear:You know, here on the show, we like to say we are the industry because
Kimberly Flear:looking over there to say it was their problem, or the industry did
Kimberly Flear:it to me or nobody gave a shit about that may in all be true, but that.
Kimberly Flear:Comes from point of having no power to change anything.
Kimberly Flear:So to actually acknowledge, nope, nobody forced me to put that thing up my nose.
Kimberly Flear:Nobody forced me to go to the, you know, and just having that really shitty
Kimberly Flear:feeling about, oh fuck, I did it again.
Kimberly Flear:So, yeah, we need to take accountability for it.
Kimberly Flear:We need to acknowledge, you know, our part in not only, you know, taking
Kimberly Flear:part in it, but also facilitating an environment where that stuff could happen.
Kimberly Flear:I remember very clearly.
Kimberly Flear:Watching a line cook on lunch.
Kimberly Flear:You know, just sweat and bullets, because I know he'd been out all night because
Kimberly Flear:I had been there with him, and I'm like, I'm not gonna bail you out, dude.
Kimberly Flear:You're out there playing.
Kimberly Flear:Then this is the price that you're gonna pay.
Kimberly Flear:But I think I mentioned our last conversation together.
Kimberly Flear:I wrote a blog post where the main premise of it was, chef,
Kimberly Flear:I'm feeling a little itchy.
Kimberly Flear:I need to get to a meeting today.
Kimberly Flear:Said, no line cook ever.
Kimberly Flear:Right.
Kimberly Flear:Because even then it's shame.
Kimberly Flear:Absolutely.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: Like we created an environment where people felt ashamed
Kimberly Flear:to need to take space for their own.
Kimberly Flear:Like not, that's not even recovery.
Kimberly Flear:That's, I just need to like change the vibe.
Kimberly Flear:You know, do a pattern interrupt.
Kimberly Flear:Because so much of my experience was like, and again, and I thought that
Kimberly Flear:was very courageous of you just saying, Nope, I gotta heal myself first.
Kimberly Flear:You went to a cabin in BC and you sat there with yourself and you were
Kimberly Flear:determined to heal that part of you.
Kimberly Flear:That was, you know, jonesing for recognition and acknowledgement and you
Kimberly Flear:know, I think the addiction starts a lot sooner than we find any substances because
Kimberly Flear:it's that addiction to Yeah, the dopamine.
Kimberly Flear:I don't think that's something that's talked about enough is
Kimberly Flear:that dopamine I, you know, I talk a lot about different initiatives that we can
Kimberly Flear:implement into organizations, and one of them that I think where we're missing
Kimberly Flear:a big piece of it is that post shift.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: Yeah,
Kimberly Flear:pre-shift is great.
Kimberly Flear:Take the pulse on your team and find out what's happening.
Kimberly Flear:But post shift is where the energy, the adrenaline, the need to come down.
Kimberly Flear:Is quite often where we go and use or we go out, and I certainly don't wanna
Kimberly Flear:come across like I'm trying to take the fun or suck the vibe out of the industry
Kimberly Flear:because I wanna keep it as unique and fun and keep it for what it is.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:But not at the expense of someone who can't keep their shit together.
Kimberly Flear:Or someone who's suffering in silence or needs to go to a meeting but can't ask
Kimberly Flear:because nobody else will support them.
Kimberly Flear:Right.
Kimberly Flear:So I think we just have a really great opportunity in front of us to start
Kimberly Flear:addressing these things consistently.
Kimberly Flear:Not a workshop around mental health and burnout prevention.
Kimberly Flear:And then walk away.
Kimberly Flear:Right?
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:And that's big.
Kimberly Flear:That's to me, sometimes it feels like a larger than life
Kimberly Flear:project that I'm working on.
Kimberly Flear:I think there's also a misconception around the pathways to recovery, and this
Kimberly Flear:is also something that's really, you know, embedded into my work, is recognizing
Kimberly Flear:that there's multiple pathways.
Kimberly Flear:And I think the more that we continue to do this work around hospitality
Kimberly Flear:platforms and spaces will open up, that can cater specifically to the
Kimberly Flear:unique needs of our industry because it's a different beast, I believe.
Kimberly Flear:Mm-hmm.
Kimberly Flear:And I think that.
Kimberly Flear:As we continue to have more of these conversations and implement these
Kimberly Flear:strategies and systems, opportunities are gonna be available for people like-minded
Kimberly Flear:from the industry to come together.
Kimberly Flear:There's already people out there doing it, you know, Ben's friends and Chow has these
Kimberly Flear:meetings where we can come together and talk industry shit together, and that's
Kimberly Flear:really supportive and really needed.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: Yeah, I love the Wednesday child meetings for men.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah,
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: I love it.
Kimberly Flear:I've done men's work for many years and to be able to show up makes a very
Kimberly Flear:clear distinction is like sobriety is not a prerequisite to attending.
Kimberly Flear:So if you're just getting off shift and you've had a couple beers, we welcome
Kimberly Flear:that because I've been in circles where, you know, if you are not stone cold
Kimberly Flear:sober, they don't want any part of you.
Kimberly Flear:And that's kind of a little bit of rigidity that I push back against as well.
Kimberly Flear:Ben's friends is a great organization.
Kimberly Flear:I saw a post the other day about an after shift mocktail thing where
Kimberly Flear:people are like learning how to make different alcohol free drinks, but
Kimberly Flear:as a way to get together that doesn't necessarily have alcohol attached to it.
Kimberly Flear:I have a friend in Philadelphia, chef Maria Campbell, who runs an
Kimberly Flear:organization where they regularly.
Kimberly Flear:Think up ways to get industry veterans or industry participants together
Kimberly Flear:that doesn't have alcohol involved?
Kimberly Flear:No, and it's okay if people have a couple, like my philosophy
Kimberly Flear:is I meet people where they're at.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: Yep.
Kimberly Flear:It's not
Kimberly Flear:complete abstinence.
Kimberly Flear:It's not sucking the fun out.
Kimberly Flear:You don't have to come in the forest and zen out and you know you can
Kimberly Flear:still live a high quality, fun life.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:But eventually it will take its toll if anyone's listening and
Kimberly Flear:they find themselves who've been in the industry, you know, 15, 20 years, like
Kimberly Flear:myself, I woke up at the age of 38.
Kimberly Flear:The party was well over and it was still doing cocaine for breakfast.
Kimberly Flear:This is not sustainable, right?
Kimberly Flear:So it's really about meeting people where they're at, and those that do need
Kimberly Flear:help know that it's available to them.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: And just a little science for everybody, you know, a lot of it has to
Kimberly Flear:do with flooding the brain with dopamine.
Kimberly Flear:And what happens is the brain can only take in so much dopamine.
Kimberly Flear:So what it does is it starts to thin out the receptors.
Kimberly Flear:And when people enter in recovery, or even just decide to do, oh, I'm
Kimberly Flear:gonna do dry January or whatever.
Kimberly Flear:Very often, those first week to 10 days is pretty morose because now all of a
Kimberly Flear:sudden there are fewer receptors for that dopamine, but there's a lot less dopamine.
Kimberly Flear:I need to understand that the brain self regulates beautifully and
Kimberly Flear:it in response to lower dopamine, it opens up more receptor sites.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:So you gotta stick with it, man.
Kimberly Flear:Day at a time, moment at a time.
Kimberly Flear:And I know lots of people who
Kimberly Flear:in sobriety achieved a success that they never thought was possible
Kimberly Flear:just because they're clearer.
Kimberly Flear:That me Never thought possible.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:Never thought possible.
Kimberly Flear:And I think, you know, the, the dopamine rush, not even even alcohol and drugs
Kimberly Flear:aside, the dopamine rush that comes from a busy, high vibes surface.
Kimberly Flear:Mm-hmm.
Kimberly Flear:If we can address that after service in a healthy way.
Kimberly Flear:Right.
Kimberly Flear:Again, you're rewiring your brain and you're creating your neural pathways.
Kimberly Flear:So the come down after service doesn't have to be so intense.
Kimberly Flear:There's many tips and tricks that we can do after service.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: So mention a couple that you know.
Kimberly Flear:Okay, so I don't, and I don't wanna try this because I'm
Kimberly Flear:listening to this podcast.
Kimberly Flear:I'm like, what the hell do I have to lose?
Kimberly Flear:Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:Great.
Kimberly Flear:So I'm all about body movement.
Kimberly Flear:Mm-hmm.
Kimberly Flear:Because we gotta move the energy that all that energy needs to go somewhere.
Kimberly Flear:What we're doing with drugs and alcohol is we're suppressing it and
Kimberly Flear:now it's still stuck in our energy body, so we gotta move the body.
Kimberly Flear:So even just to go out dancing is great if you have to do it at home by yourself.
Kimberly Flear:If you're not comfortable doing it without alcohol, because I know that can be
Kimberly Flear:really awkward at first, but definitely body movement is really important.
Kimberly Flear:Connecting to the breath, even a little 10 minute breath yes, can totally ground you.
Kimberly Flear:I have been doing breath work for the last couple of years.
Kimberly Flear:It's been transformative.
Kimberly Flear:So grounding ourselves with breath.
Kimberly Flear:There's a little trick called EFT Tapping.
Kimberly Flear:These are all really like energetic practices, so I've been doing tapping for
Kimberly Flear:years and it's really helped me as well.
Kimberly Flear:Again, we gotta shift that energy and create the space.
Kimberly Flear:So dancing, breath tapping, even journaling, having a deep conversation
Kimberly Flear:with a friend, a vulnerable conversation with a friend, unpacking the
Kimberly Flear:service that you just went through.
Kimberly Flear:Right.
Kimberly Flear:So many times we walk out the door after service and we leave it at the
Kimberly Flear:door and that's great, but we're not maybe addressing some things that
Kimberly Flear:had surfaced for us during that time.
Kimberly Flear:And so again, we're suppressing it with drugs and alcohol, whereas if we talk
Kimberly Flear:it through or journal about it or have some kind of outlet that is safe in a
Kimberly Flear:safe container, that can really help too.
Kimberly Flear:'cause then we're not carrying it with a, in a mental state.
Kimberly Flear:Um,
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: God, there's so much in there.
Kimberly Flear:So first thing I want to acknowledge is the whole somatic.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah, principle of energy that's locked up in your body because there are certain
Kimberly Flear:people who believe that, you know that energy stuck in the body and not exercised
Kimberly Flear:out metastasizes as a physical entity in the body, and that's where chronic
Kimberly Flear:illness comes right, wrong or whatever.
Kimberly Flear:But that movement also, if we're really about a recovery friendly
Kimberly Flear:workplace, and let's not even call it recovery friendly, let's talk about.
Kimberly Flear:An environment where we respect and honor everybody's mental health.
Kimberly Flear:What would it look like to get the team together at the end of the shift
Kimberly Flear:for five minutes and say, okay, let's debrief everybody first, take a deep
Kimberly Flear:breath in and out, and then let's talk about some of the things that happened.
Kimberly Flear:Not to like berate anybody.
Kimberly Flear:It's a great opportunity to celebrate successes and also give everybody
Kimberly Flear:an opportunity to like just dump.
Kimberly Flear:And I like walking.
Kimberly Flear:Just walk with someone else and then have the conversation.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah, which is really cool.
Kimberly Flear:I mean, I think sometimes a very good friend of mine who I took talked to
Kimberly Flear:last night, and we would go always out to the smoke pit and we'd sit
Kimberly Flear:there silently next to one another.
Kimberly Flear:There's 30 people out in the smoke pit, and here and I are over in the corner
Kimberly Flear:and we're not talking because we're kind of self isolating in that moment.
Kimberly Flear:But by the same token, you don't necessarily need to smoke to go out and.
Kimberly Flear:Create a space where you can just breathe and just be by yourself for 10
Kimberly Flear:minutes so that you can get recentered before going into the environment.
Kimberly Flear:So I love all those ideas.
Kimberly Flear:I think they're fantastic.
Kimberly Flear:You mentioned that it seems like a problem too big to solve, and the
Kimberly Flear:question for you is it must be so inspiring that it pulls you forward
Kimberly Flear:as opposed to pushes you forward.
Kimberly Flear:Can you speak to that a little bit?
Kimberly Flear:Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:That larger than life project.
Kimberly Flear:I feel like I'm a tiny voice, but I'm a loud creature or something
Kimberly Flear:is coming to me like because I am just one, you know, individual.
Kimberly Flear:But the pull is because I have conversations like this.
Kimberly Flear:There's no pushing, there's no, I did that for too long.
Kimberly Flear:This is about passion and impact.
Kimberly Flear:And so I get pulled and drawn towards intuitively the people
Kimberly Flear:that resonate with my work.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: Mm-hmm.
Kimberly Flear:Who wanna have these conversations, who are
Kimberly Flear:open and willing to change.
Kimberly Flear:So I don't know if that's answering your question, but I'm pulled
Kimberly Flear:towards the leaders in this space.
Kimberly Flear:And that's what allows me to keep going.
Kimberly Flear:I have yet to meet one person.
Kimberly Flear:Maybe there's a couple of naysayers on LinkedIn.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: I saw one comment yesterday.
Kimberly Flear:Okay,
Kimberly Flear:yeah.
Kimberly Flear:We won't go there.
Kimberly Flear:I think everybody that I speak to is all for this and wants to support this, and
Kimberly Flear:no one has said, stop, don't do this.
Kimberly Flear:Or, you know.
Kimberly Flear:There are people that will ignore me.
Kimberly Flear:There are people that maybe will say things, you know, when I'm not in the
Kimberly Flear:room, but for the most part, there is no denying that this culture needs a shift.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:So
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: what do you do for your own self-care?
Kimberly Flear:So I live quietly in the forest in a cabin alone with no children.
Kimberly Flear:So I've created a very spacious life that allows me to have a
Kimberly Flear:really beautiful self-care practice.
Kimberly Flear:Um, I, when I got sober, I eliminated a lot of distractions
Kimberly Flear:as well because I knew, you know, like I don't have a big screen tv.
Kimberly Flear:I don't scroll social.
Kimberly Flear:I use LinkedIn as a tool, not as a way to numb or be mindless.
Kimberly Flear:So self care for me looks like.
Kimberly Flear:So I cold plunge every day.
Kimberly Flear:I swim in the Pacific Ocean every day.
Kimberly Flear:Now, obviously it gets warmer in the summer, so I have to switch
Kimberly Flear:to cold showers, but that practice alone has been one of the most
Kimberly Flear:transformative I've ever experienced.
Kimberly Flear:You know, this winter it was like minus eight.
Kimberly Flear:Two feet of snow, which is pretty rare for the Sunshine Coast.
Kimberly Flear:Mm-hmm.
Kimberly Flear:Sure.
Kimberly Flear:And going down in my robe and slipping into that freezing cold water,
Kimberly Flear:like that strength, that's clarity.
Kimberly Flear:There's a lot.
Kimberly Flear:It also
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: produces some pretty incredible physiological changes in
Kimberly Flear:the body when you're submerge yourself in cold water and it drives all the
Kimberly Flear:blood to the center of the organs.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: It's, you wanna
Kimberly Flear:talk about dopamine?
Kimberly Flear:I mean, boom.
Kimberly Flear:Right?
Kimberly Flear:There isn't many other things organically that feel so good when you come outta the
Kimberly Flear:water, every cell in your body is alive.
Kimberly Flear:I think that's one.
Kimberly Flear:Apart from last call coaching.
Kimberly Flear:I think that my cold plunging will be the legacy I leave behind.
Kimberly Flear:I've gotten quite a few of my friends into it.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: It feels so good right after the pain stops.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:The first like 15 to 45 seconds is, what am I doing?
Kimberly Flear:But then once I'm in, I spend, I'm up to about 10 minutes,
Kimberly Flear:so I've really trained myself.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: You're a polar bear.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:And then, you know, we spoke earlier about energy practices and this has been vital
Kimberly Flear:in my healing journey and my self-care.
Kimberly Flear:I took the route of energy practices such as breath work.
Kimberly Flear:I do Qigong, I do yoga.
Kimberly Flear:Very connected to nature.
Kimberly Flear:I spend a lot of time out in nature by the sea or in the forest.
Kimberly Flear:I'm constantly looking to improve myself.
Kimberly Flear:I'm always learning whether it's different leadership styles or coaching practices,
Kimberly Flear:or I'm generally constantly absor.
Kimberly Flear:Not constantly, but when I create the space absorbing
Kimberly Flear:information to to better myself.
Kimberly Flear:I'm on a mission, you know, for my own personal journey
Kimberly Flear:to feel and to live from my.
Kimberly Flear:Most optimal timeline.
Kimberly Flear:I know, you know, from the highest version of myself.
Kimberly Flear:And then by extension, because I live that way, I'm able to support
Kimberly Flear:others in doing the same because integrity is one of my core values.
Kimberly Flear:So if I don't walk the walk and talk the talk, then I'm out of alignment.
Kimberly Flear:Right?
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: I was facilitating men's weekend two years ago, or three
Kimberly Flear:years ago, and one of the guys was a member of kind of an alpha group.
Kimberly Flear:And he looked at me over the fireplace and he is like, dude, how the fuck can you be
Kimberly Flear:doing this man, look at you, you're fat.
Kimberly Flear:As a way of kind of like being out of integrity with the work.
Kimberly Flear:And that kind of pushed me back a little bit so far as to understand that
Kimberly Flear:was his viewpoint, his perspective, but it didn't naturally land with me.
Kimberly Flear:But you know, I've had some challenges physically.
Kimberly Flear:I've had a laminectomy Fusion in 2007.
Kimberly Flear:The last five years it was in, I was in constant pain and didn't understand
Kimberly Flear:that it had broken in several different places and so had to have it all
Kimberly Flear:pulled out and pulled back in again.
Kimberly Flear:So for me, the recovery has been a long road, but I continue to focus
Kimberly Flear:on what I like to call the 1% weigh, which is my only objective is to
Kimberly Flear:be 1% better than I was yesterday.
Kimberly Flear:That might mean, you know, one pound more walking, 10 minutes more like whatever
Kimberly Flear:that looks like to be just 1% better than yesterday as an idea of round.
Kimberly Flear:Kaizen, you know, small steps over time, yield big results.
Kimberly Flear:She said, you know, you gotta design the alliance with your coaching clients.
Kimberly Flear:I said, design the alliance.
Kimberly Flear:I'm like, what the, and she has a, she has a process that
Kimberly Flear:she walks everybody through.
Kimberly Flear:So this is the alliance that we're gonna.
Kimberly Flear:Agree to, and these are the non-negotiables day looks like
Kimberly Flear:how I spend each of those blocks.
Kimberly Flear:What does my perfect day look like and how close to can I get to actually
Kimberly Flear:achieving that every day from where I live, the things that are in it,
Kimberly Flear:you know, do I go running, do I hike?
Kimberly Flear:Whatever that is.
Kimberly Flear:So how often am I fit consciously choosing, you know, what I want my
Kimberly Flear:day, or am I just getting pulled along?
Kimberly Flear:And for years and years and years, especially in the hospitality industry.
Kimberly Flear:I was just pulled along, man, and, and not right, not wrong,
Kimberly Flear:but it's just like having the acknowledgement, like understanding
Kimberly Flear:that is a risk in the industry.
Kimberly Flear:And let's face it, in the eighties there was this huge confluence of
Kimberly Flear:some perfect elements that came together to make working in the
Kimberly Flear:industry really cool, you know?
Kimberly Flear:And lots of people were coming into the industry.
Kimberly Flear:As a matter of fact, I remember, you know, getting 500 resumes for
Kimberly Flear:a single position in the kitchen, and that lasted until it didn't.
Kimberly Flear:And so it wasn't really incumbent upon us as leaders or the industry to really look
Kimberly Flear:hard at how we were treating folks because there was always someone else and back.
Kimberly Flear:Even though looking back, I think all of us can probably recognize
Kimberly Flear:how we were treated that way and like we didn't fucking like it then.
Kimberly Flear:But
Kimberly Flear:when 6 million people leave the industry, what a huge opportunity.
Kimberly Flear:What a great reset to rethink everything.
Kimberly Flear:What is your biggest hope for last call coaching?
Kimberly Flear:For this year, for 2025,
Kimberly Flear:just to keep putting the building blocks together.
Kimberly Flear:I'm going to to continue to be consistent for 2025
Kimberly Flear:more awareness, more education.
Kimberly Flear:There's some loose partnerships in the works right now with some
Kimberly Flear:people in Oregon, constantly getting my name out there.
Kimberly Flear:My training's out there.
Kimberly Flear:This is a long-term game, so it's hard to condense it into one year.
Kimberly Flear:I think that 2025 is really just about laying the foundation
Kimberly Flear:and working with people who are open and willing to begin this shift.
Kimberly Flear:I believe that being a catalyst for this kind of change is huge.
Kimberly Flear:Once we get that momentum going, like a snowball, the momentum's
Kimberly Flear:just gonna continue to build and build and then over time.
Kimberly Flear:We can start to see greater change.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: And what is your biggest fear for the industry?
Kimberly Flear:Well, that people are resistant to change.
Kimberly Flear:I, my biggest fear is that we lose another 6 million people.
Kimberly Flear:I don't think I bring a lot of fear to the table, to be honest.
Kimberly Flear:That's, I kind of like when I tap into fear, I think that the only fear
Kimberly Flear:that lives in me is with my own ability.
Kimberly Flear:Like it's, it's the personal development.
Kimberly Flear:That's the fear.
Kimberly Flear:It's not this industry's gonna shift or else there will be no industry.
Kimberly Flear:Right.
Kimberly Flear:Exactly.
Kimberly Flear:Right.
Kimberly Flear:It's not whether it's 15 years, 20 years, whatever it is.
Kimberly Flear:There's not a lot of fear in that.
Kimberly Flear:Um.
Kimberly Flear:It's continuing to show up for myself, putting myself out there, doing
Kimberly Flear:those uncomfortable things, having the uncomfortable conversations that
Kimberly Flear:nobody wants to have, being vulnerable.
Kimberly Flear:This level of work that I'm doing has brought forth like far out.
Kimberly Flear:I thought I did all the healing when I got sober, but like entrepreneurship and
Kimberly Flear:putting my neck out and talking about addiction in hospitality has surfaced
Kimberly Flear:all the little critters again that I have to look at with my own self-development.
Kimberly Flear:But that's beautiful and amazing.
Kimberly Flear:That doesn't mean that I'm afraid and I'm gonna.
Kimberly Flear:Curl up under a, a rock out here in the forest and not do it.
Kimberly Flear:Sure.
Kimberly Flear:To me, that's the pull forward, right.
Kimberly Flear:To continue to do this work is leaning into that fear.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: I, uh, just want to acknowledge you for your
Kimberly Flear:tenacity, your authenticity, your vision for an industry where
Kimberly Flear:recovery isn't a bad word.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah, like I picture, like I have this vision of walking into
Kimberly Flear:restaurants and there's a little plaque on the wall that just acknowledges,
Kimberly Flear:Hey, this restaurant is recovery friendly, or whatever term or labeled.
Kimberly Flear:It doesn't have to say that, but do you know like just some kind of recognition.
Kimberly Flear:You know, we can put TripAdvisor reviews all over and, but how
Kimberly Flear:are we treating our staff?
Kimberly Flear:Let's start acknowledging that.
Kimberly Flear:And of course, I picture my little pineapple on that.
Kimberly Flear:I gotta brand it.
Kimberly Flear:I gotta brand that plaque.
Kimberly Flear:Um, well, you gotta,
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: you gotta, you gotta be careful about the pineapple price.
Kimberly Flear:I know I heard this.
Kimberly Flear:I know.
Kimberly Flear:But it is the symbol of hospitality and I'm gonna go with it.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: You go down to some of the oldest towns in New England and
Kimberly Flear:the houses have very often either a picture of a codfish above the door or
Kimberly Flear:a pineapple because it was represented.
Kimberly Flear:Success
Kimberly Flear:and let's be honest, hospitality staff are no
Kimberly Flear:surprise to be swingers as well.
Kimberly Flear:So I know there's more to the pineapple, but I think it's really great and I
Kimberly Flear:just have this big vision of, of people really stepping up and putting their
Kimberly Flear:staff just as important as their guests.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: Well, please consider myself and Chef Life Radio and Chef
Kimberly Flear:Life Coaching as part of your alliance because we want to be where you're at.
Kimberly Flear:And we say to you, come on board, because one more makes it all the more merrier.
Kimberly Flear:I'm grateful to be here.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: And so currently you're doing one-on-one coaching, correct?
Kimberly Flear:Yep.
Kimberly Flear:So I do one-on-one coaching.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: And are you planning on moving into group
Kimberly Flear:coaching with organizations?
Kimberly Flear:I.
Kimberly Flear:Yes.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:So the bigger picture, like I love doing the one-on-one support, and that was
Kimberly Flear:originally where my whole business plan and structure was created to support the
Kimberly Flear:chefs and the servers and the bartenders.
Kimberly Flear:Right.
Kimberly Flear:But after a lot of reflection and having a lot of conversations with people,
Kimberly Flear:I. Employers, I believe, are really where the shift needs to take place.
Kimberly Flear:And so implementing programs to address turnover staff, like staff
Kimberly Flear:retention, guest satisfaction, all of those components that are affected
Kimberly Flear:by not taking care of our staff.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah, so working one-on-one with employers to implement
Kimberly Flear:these trainings and workshops.
Kimberly Flear:There's multiple ways.
Kimberly Flear:That we could do that.
Kimberly Flear:So I think it starts from the top.
Kimberly Flear:And more impact can be made when you're in front of a large organization.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: Sure.
Kimberly Flear:I mean, if nothing else to have, uh, the buy-in from upper management.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah.
Kimberly Flear:He understands what you're trying to do.
Kimberly Flear:And so if someone wanted to get in touch with you to learn more about you and
Kimberly Flear:what you're doing, how do they do that?
Kimberly Flear:Yeah, great.
Kimberly Flear:So I'm really active on LinkedIn as we mentioned before, so you can
Kimberly Flear:definitely find me on LinkedIn.
Kimberly Flear:My website is last call coaching.com, so the best way
Kimberly Flear:would be LinkedIn or my website,
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: and we'll make sure that we have all those links in the show notes.
Kimberly Flear:I. Kimberly Flear thanks so much for being with us.
Kimberly Flear:Thanks, Adam.
Kimberly Flear:I love spending time with you.
Kimberly Flear:It's
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: awesome.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah, I love it.
Kimberly Flear:Yeah, I look forward to it.
Kimberly Flear:Adam M Lamb: That's it for this episode of Chef Life Radio.
Kimberly Flear:If you're ready to take your career to the next level, then.
Kimberly Flear:Sign up for a free discovery call and find out what's possible for
Kimberly Flear:you@jefflifecoaching.com slash discovery.
Kimberly Flear:And the link is in the show notes here at Jeff Life Radio.
Kimberly Flear:We believe that working in a kitchen should be demanding.
Kimberly Flear:It just shouldn't have to be demeaning.
Kimberly Flear:It should be hard.
Kimberly Flear:It just doesn't have to be harsh.
Kimberly Flear:We believe that it's possible to have more solidarity and less.
Kimberly Flear:Suck it up.
Kimberly Flear:Sunshine more, compassion less cutthroat island.
Kimberly Flear:We believe in more partnership and less put up or shut up.
Kimberly Flear:More family and less fuck you.
Kimberly Flear:Stand tall and frosty brothers and sisters, but consider for a moment.
Kimberly Flear:For all the blood, sweat, and effort you put into what you do.
Kimberly Flear:At the end of the day, it's just some stuff on a plate.
Kimberly Flear:None of it really matters.
Kimberly Flear:Doesn't define you as a person or make you any more special or less than anyone else.
Kimberly Flear:It's just a dance that we're engaged in, so we might as well
Kimberly Flear:laugh and enjoy every bit of it.
Kimberly Flear:Or didn't you know that the purpose of your life should be to enjoy it?
Kimberly Flear:You love it.
Kimberly Flear:I'm humble.
Kimberly Flear:Reach out to the show at facebook.com/chef Life Radio, Twitter at Chef Life
Kimberly Flear:Radio, Instagram at Chef Life Radio.
Kimberly Flear:Visit the website@chefliferadio.com.
Kimberly Flear:Subscribe to the podcast at any of the major podcasts directories.
Kimberly Flear:Please take a moment and give us a thumbs up and write a review.
Kimberly Flear:It really does help spread the news.
Kimberly Flear:Thanks for listening until the next episode.
Kimberly Flear:Be well and do good.
Kimberly Flear:This episode was produced by me, Adam Lamb.
Kimberly Flear:It was recorded in a basement Bunker Studio in Bardo, North Carolina.
Kimberly Flear:Co-produced by Thomas Stinson of pod like.com.
Kimberly Flear:Chef Life Radio is a production of Realignment Media.
