Blabbering: Babies!

Welcome to Episode 21 - Tilly has turned 30 so we have celebrated that... HARD! Then had to parent afterwards.

🎙️ Episode Drop Alert: "Parenting Peaks & Poop Problems!" 👶🎉☕️ Episode 21 brings a whirlwind of laughter, love, and a sprinkle of chaos as Tilly and Dan navigate their parenting journey. Here's a sneak peek into this week's adventure:

1️⃣ Birthday Bashes & Baby Bonding: Join the celebration as Tilly and Dan revel in Tilly's birthday bash and cherish precious family moments with their little one, complete with outings, walks, and shared meals. 🎂🎈👨‍👩‍👧

2️⃣ Social Shenanigans & Unforgettable Encounters: From humorous exchanges with strangers to navigating the quirks of socializing with a baby in tow, laugh along with Dan and Tilly as they recount their memorable encounters and heartwarming reflections. 💬😄👶

3️⃣ Highs, Lows & Hilarious Highlights: Experience the rollercoaster ride of parenting highs and lows, from quality family time to messy diaper mayhem, as Tilly and Dan share their funny moments and upcoming changes on the horizon. 🎢😂💩

4️⃣ Diapers, Dreams & Double Duty: Dive into the hilarious mishaps of parenthood, including Dan's dreamtime interruptions and Tilly's diaper dilemmas, as they navigate the joys and challenges of raising their little one. 💤💭🍼

5️⃣ Shared Leave Shenanigans & Work Worries: Explore the transition to shared parental leave for Dan and Tilly's impending return to full-time work, as they discuss the balancing act of family life and career commitments. 👨‍👩‍👧💼🔄

Buckle up for a ride filled with laughter, love, and a dash of diaper drama as Tilly and Dan share their parenting adventures with wit and warmth.

🎧 Tune in for a dose of reality seasoned with humor and heartwarming moments. #ParentingAdventures #DiaperDrama #PodcastParenting 🎙️👶💕

Email us: BlabberingPod@gmail.com

Instagram:@BlabberingPod

Loved this episode? Or you have a great idea to make our show better? We're all ears for your ratings and messages. 🌟🎉

Welcome to this week's episode.

2

This week we're talking

all things turning 30.

3

So partying hard and then waking

up and parenting even harder.

4

The joys.

5

So stay tuned and enjoy that.

6

Dan 1: You're old

7

Tilly: And well, I mean,

you were there before me, so

8

Dan 1: Yeah, you're as old as me now.

9

Tilly: Yeah, no more twenties for us,

10

The decade of

11

coming a real proper

grownups done in that.

12

We are grown ups now.

13

Dan 1: and baby girls

being Developing too.

14

She now definitely reaches

for things that she wants.

15

Tilly: She reaches for things and people.

16

She reaches for people now, which is nice.

17

Dan 1: Well, especially dogs.

18

Tilly: like, she'll reach for

me, and she'll reach for you,

19

and she'll reach for Nana.

20

Dan 1: Yeah.

21

Tilly: Um,

22

Dan 1: she loves, she loves heads.

23

Tilly: yeah.

24

She does love pets.

25

And she give them wet, wet kisses.

26

Dan 1: Work, work, work, kisses.

27

Tilly: Yeah.

28

You can tell we're both really energetic

today, and that's because we partied hard.

29

Well, I definitely partied hard.

30

Dan 1: Yeah, I didn't party as hard,

but I didn't have much energy because I

31

was trying to stuff out from surprise.

32

It's a problem when you let people stay

over at your house, but it's a surprise.

33

You then have

34

to try and do everything.

35

Tilly: know, because you were like, oh,

36

do I need to

37

sort the house, out?

38

you were like, no.

39

And I was like, I wish I'd

sorted the house out now.

40

It's really dirty for people.

41

Dan 1: Oh, I just thought

to myself, no one's actually

42

going to come during the day.

43

And then, um, Oh, yeah, sorry.

44

Tilly: No, don't be

45

sorry.

46

I don't think anyone actually cares.

47

think it's just me being like, I mean,

our bathroom was particularly disgusting.

48

Yeah.

49

Dan 1: Yeah, but that was,

like, done at the very end.

50

Tilly: by accident.

51

Yeah,

52

and I'm

53

Dan 1: and I, That was a, that was a

54

story in and of itself.

55

So, uh, I for whatever reason am under

dedicated hairdresser's watch just

56

to save money until his hair to cut.

57

And, um, the objective word.

58

However, baby girl wasn't

59

in the mood for having the, the

stillness for, for, for silence.

60

Tilly: Yeah, and um, so,

61

Dan 1: Yeah, and um, so

62

I was trying to cut her hair while

she was screaming at me, and we

63

couldn't really do anything because

I was in the middle of cutting hair,

64

Tilly: my hair,

65

Dan 1: and you couldn't pick her up,

she was going to get covered in hair.

66

So, did a pretty shit job.

67

yeah, well, I mean, I'm not happy with it.

68

Also, your hair is dry, usually I do

it wet, so it's a lot easier to Yeah,

69

still not the same.

70

But Yeah.

71

Which is how frequently

when we've got a baby?

72

Tilly: a baby.

73

It's

74

Still about once a week.

75

Dan 1: Really?

76

Oh, okay, because often

you're like, oh, I finally

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Tilly: It's more like, it doesn't

happen on the day I plan it.

78

So like, it might be like, Friday

I'm gonna wash it for the weekend.

79

Because even though I don't do any, we

don't like go partying on the weekends.

80

So I just have fresh hair for the weekend.

81

Um, or on a Sunday for the week.

82

One of those days, and often

it just doesn't happen.

83

So I end up washing it is like

a silly day to wash your hair.

84

I don't know why, but it just does.

85

Me, like, washing my hair

because I do it once a week.

86

It used to happen, like, for a reason.

87

Like, it's the weekend, or the new week.

88

Otherwise I'm like, why would

I watch it on a Wednesday?

89

Dan 1: Fair enough.

90

So, well let's see what's

happened this week then.

91

Uh, on Monday, did we do anything?

92

Because I had the day, I had Monday

93

and

94

Tuesday off.

95

With Tuesday being your

96

Tilly: birthday.

97

Tuesday

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Dan 1: yes.

99

house

100

Tilly: do Tuesday then?

101

Dan 1: Yep, and then

Tuesday being your birthday.

102

What do we do on the Tuesday then?

103

Um,

104

Tilly: A dog walk, and when we

105

had nice breakfast, you

made me a lovely cake.

106

Dan 1: also recorded the podcast last

Monday and we're recording it this Monday

107

as well instead of the usual Sunday.

108

Tilly: Because, you know,

hanging that arse Not hanging,

109

but Like, just fucking knackered.

110

I can't deal with lack of sleep anymore.

111

Like, people are

112

always like, oh, baby's lack of

sleep, but it's not actually that bad.

113

Well, I say we've not been,

She's not been that bad for us.

114

I know babies can be really bad.

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She's generally alright, But, oh my god.

116

going to bed, like, what

time did I go to bed?

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Half three or something in the

118

end?

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Oh, Bubba, what's up

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with you?

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Um,

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can't hack that anymore, like,

I'm still fucking knackered today.

123

Like, all of us are low energy today.

124

You, me, Even the dog.

125

Bubs has been, like, sleeping and

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feeding loads today, and

she slept loads last night.

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We're all pretty pooped.

128

So after this,

129

I'm gonna make us a toad in the

130

Dan 1: energised.

131

Tilly: Yeah.

132

Um.

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But no, birthday was lovely, yeah.

134

So we had a birthday, you made me the

most, like, heavy cake in the world.

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Delicious.

136

Dan 1: that's what I

did with most of mine.

137

Oh yeah, and on Monday

we went to go see my mum.

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Tilly: Yes.

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that's

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what we did.

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Dan 1: we also didn't.

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So it was also Mother's Day.

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Mother's or the,

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Tilly: we mum's thing on the

podcast last week, didn't we?

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So we're here, we had dinner

with your mum, which is nice.

146

Dan 1: And then on Tuesday going to do a

birthday and made you the very heavy cake.

147

Tilly: It was lovely though,

148

had my last piece today,

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Dan 1: Yep.

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One week of cake.

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Tilly: yeah,

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Dan 1: Uh,

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and then, else

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Tilly: we went to a Korean BBQ.

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Dan 1: we went

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Tilly: did go to Rhyme Time.

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no it wasn't Rhyme Time, Sensory, Sensory,

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Dan 1: St.

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Patrick's Day, nonetheless.

160

Tilly: which was like,

Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes.

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potatoes, potatoes, potatoes,

potatoes, potatoes, potatoes.

162

There was a lot of potatoes.

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Yeah.

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Which seems a little bit stereotypical.

165

Dan 1: did,

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a lot of them does.

167

She plays on stereotypes.

168

Like the

169

Mother's Day one that I went

to, it was all about cleaning.

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Tilly: what she

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Dan 1: She was like

spit a tongue in cheek.

172

I'm waiting for, I'm annoyed that I didn't

get to go to the Chinese New Year one.

173

That one would have been interesting.

174

Tilly: going to be.

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It was always the same.

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Um,

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so that'd be fun.

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Wouldn't it, baby girl?

179

Yeah.

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And

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yeah, we did a Korean barbecue.

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Went into town, then we

did a Korean barbecue.

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which was nice.

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We had lots of grilled meats.

185

Tried to give Bubba's a bit of broccoli.

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She wasn't, wasn't up for that.

187

We kept passing her over a hot

188

grill.

189

We didn't drop her.

190

Congrats

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Dan 1: But she did

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like pineapple a lot.

193

yeah, passing her over the grill

wasn't really the safest Gotta learn,

194

age of, age of five months, opportune

time to learn that the grill's hot.

195

Yeah,

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Tilly: think It's time to learn.

197

It's been hot.

198

some things can be saying, like,

199

Dan 1: and also That's a Yeah, I know,

but I'm just saying why, like Yeah.

200

The association, if you're trying to

build safety in it, don't require the

201

Tilly: cold

202

tap I suppose,

203

Dan 1: Yeah, yeah, fair enough.

204

Tilly: Um, so yeah, that was nice,

205

Dan 1: And then Wednesday I was back

to work, we didn't really do much.

206

Thursday,

207

did we do anything on Wednesday?

208

I think we did, didn't

209

Tilly: Wednesday.

210

Dan 1: a

211

Tilly: No, I think they're just like,

212

house baby stuff, and

walks, normal, normal,

213

day.

214

Dan 1: Thursday, you were at work.

215

Tilly: I

216

did

217

actually, this will put up her, uh,

little picture frames very neatly.

218

Dan 1: You did.

219

Yeah, it was very impressive.

220

Tilly: proud of

221

Dan 1: In a, in a, in a, almost Then,

Friday, was my night with Baby Girl.

222

then Saturday, Wednesday.

223

was your birthday celebrations.

224

Tilly: we did cleaning.

225

During the

226

day time.

227

Dan 1: and I went out to sort

some final things for your

228

birthday during the day as well.

229

And then sunday

230

was hungover and off to

your niece's birthday.

231

Tilly: Yeah so like, um, Two of my

sisters and two of my closest friends

232

stayed over after a night out.

233

Um, so that was lovely.

234

So we got to spend some time

with them in the morning and

235

like coffee and bits and pieces.

236

Yeah, and then we went over

to our nieces third party.

237

Well not party, sort of a

family gathering wasn't it?

238

Yeah.

239

That's obviously me and my two sisters

are all a bit jaded, um, and then

240

my sister's two kids, my nieces,

are five and three, and they're high

241

energy, and Dan is their playground.

242

It's a climbing frame.

243

Dan 1: and I wasn't I wasn't like

I hadn't been I hadn't gone out

244

with you guys so it wasn't alcohol

But it was just kind of tiredness.

245

Um

246

what else?

247

Anything, anything to discuss, I guess?

248

Well, we don't have any

249

Tilly: Well, I guess, no, I guess it

was, um, my first proper night out

250

that proper my out really, like we went

out last weekend for errands, which was.

251

which was lovely, but I didn't

actually drink that much.

252

The end to leave early 'cause of my boobs.

253

Whereas this one was like,

254

Dan 1: I mean, we'll claim it was because

of your boobs and not because of me

255

finding it all too overwhelming, but.

256

But sure.

257

Tilly: Um,

258

but yeah,

259

So this was first proper,

like, go for drinks, dancing.

260

Getting pretty drunk, so that's

when my threshold was really low.

261

It was.

262

low anyway,

263

um, because I didn't massively

drink, but then having not really

264

drunk properly in probably about,

265

what, 18 months?

266

It was

267

very, very low and everyone was

like, yeah, you, you were really

268

drunk really quickly and I was like.

269

what were

270

Dan 1: Reading was

271

Tilly: I had like a few nibbly bits

it weren't that nice, so not masses.

272

I don't think a few nachos with

a cracker is gonna do much.

273

But, you know, I felt fine the next day.

274

Well, I got a little bit of a headache,

but that went off after about 15 minutes.

275

Then I just had a random

sore throat was tired.

276

Um, it was good fun.

277

Great night.

278

Reading is a crackin night out, guys.

279

Went to Pot World,

280

if anyone's in the local

area, top recommendation, Pot

281

World for a cheese and it out.

282

It's not classy, it's not classy

and it out, but no one wants that.

283

I don't want a trendy, like,

284

painfully cool, bar.

285

I want people having a fun.

286

time,

287

Dan 1: We went to

288

Tilly: that's what it was.

289

We went to Spoons as well,

290

and they had no ice, so we had

very lukewarm drinks, that was

291

Dan 1: very odd though,

292

not having

293

Tilly: And nothing for tequila.

294

It's like, no like, limes or lemons or

295

Dan 1: No salt?

296

Tilly: There was sachets of salt?

297

on the table we could have

ourselves to but You don't?

298

want salt on tequila without the lime.

299

That's just grim.

300

Just salty tequila.

301

Dan 1: Salted.

302

Salted

303

Tilly: you know, cheap tequila.

304

bracing.

305

Yeah, it's funny.

306

Um, lots of doubts in the script.

307

Unbeknownst to me, my siblings

and friends seem to have taken

308

lots of pictures and videos of me.

309

Um, where I look great.

310

Absolutely great.

311

Including me

312

and my friend,

313

you know,

314

grinding on a wall.

315

trying to impress someone so

they'd buy us free drinks.

316

Um, you know, not seriously.

317

Um,

318

And it made me realise, oh

yeah, we are thirsty now.

319

Dan 1: Yeah,

320

Tilly: Yep.

321

Dan 1: yeah

322

Tilly: Yep.

323

Yep.

324

Yep.

325

Yep.

326

good times around and then today's, yeah,

it's a very slow day today, isn't it?

327

Dan 1: So what

328

I didn't tell

329

Tilly: on

330

Dan 1: the Saturday, you know when I was

going out when I went out with baby girl

331

So you could just continue like some

of the house out and stuff like that.

332

Tilly: Yeah.

333

Dan 1: Um, I was just kind of

walking around the street for

334

She was holding my hands

because she was facing forwards.

335

And so it was kind of like doing

336

little dance

337

moves as

338

we walked around, like moving

her hands as I stepped.

339

And I got very weirdly heckled.

340

I think it was meaning me.

341

But there's a bloke who just

continued walking straight past.

342

It didn't really make any eye

contact with me or anything.

343

But, as he went past me, he

looked like he'd be a drunkard.

344

But as he went past me, he said,

345

Your missus is shaggin other blokes.

346

Didn't,

347

didn't look at me at all, just kept going.

348

Tilly: just kept going.

349

Right, right.

350

How do you assume that?

351

Dan 1: can only assume that.

352

But it was, it was very odd,

because it wasn't even like,

353

Tilly: even like Also,

it's like very ironic to

354

Dan 1: But also, it's like very ironic

to call somebody a pussy but say it

355

really quietly and not even look at them

at the same time because that's what I

356

would assume he means when he says that.

357

Unless maybe he just

358

can't, maybe he's got some form of

Tourette's where he just can't hold

359

in what he thinks and that's what

he thought and he's like fuck, don't

360

look at it, So yeah, it's quite an

361

Interesting,

362

interesting echo and I

just kind of was like,

363

okay, that'll

364

Tilly: Hang on.

365

We sleep sleep

366

with someone

367

Dan 1: it.

368

Tilly: Um, I'll actually

to shave with someone else.

369

I think it was

370

my birthday, Yeah, it's a birthday.

371

We were waiting for you

outside Primark, because

372

me and Bubz went into town for a

little bit while you were doing some

373

editing before we went for Korean BBQ.

374

Dan 1: Oh yeah, yeah,

375

Tilly: yeah.

376

Um, we were just sat there, us

was just having a look around.

377

And this

378

woman who was just very clearly

off her fucking I think was

379

off her tits quite a lot.

380

Had very few teeth.

381

Um, very

382

dishevelled.

383

was talking to me and I sort of had

her sort of and was like, sorry,

384

Um,

385

and she's

386

going, oh, that's a really

cute, cute baby boy.

387

I was like, I can't look to correct it.

388

I was like, yeah, Um,

389

I'd sort of

390

pulled out this really manky, ugly toy.

391

I was like, oh, this is,

392

This is my kid.

393

And I was like, oh, that's nice.

394

And she's like, I don't

see I was like, oh, sorry.

395

And then before I could stop her,

396

she

397

was like, can I kiss him and

just let in and kiss Ola?

398

and I was like, Oh,

399

Dan 1: ahhh.

400

And

401

Tilly: would have said no.

402

Um, I don't really mind people touching

I'm not, I'm not someone, as you know,

403

I'm not

404

like, germy, like anti germy, but I

405

am

406

germy probably myself, But.

407

I'm not anti germs, but

408

I don't want a stranger kissing her.

409

Dan 1: it's not just a stranger kissing

her, it's somebody that looks like they

410

don't take care of themselves or hasn't

washed in a very long period of time,

411

Tilly: But, you know.

412

Um,

413

Dan 1: um, and then the other thing was

walking back for her, having all the gear.

414

was an awkward one.

415

Because it's also, it's like, night?

416

Yeah so, if anyone doesn't know, you get

kicked out of drinking establishments

417

if you have any children under

418

18 with you at about 9pm.

419

Now this is just blanket under 18,

they don't look at a baby and go,

420

well they're not And so I got kicked

out on 9, at 9, but it was also

421

like, the Super Saturday, and St.

422

Patrick's So loads of like

drunk guys all sort of bundling

423

around all over the place.

424

So you get lots of

425

sort of

426

aggressive flash looks like

people looking at staring at

427

you at the corner of your eye.

428

And usually I don't really care about it.

429

I'm usually quite oblivious to it,

430

and I just walk along in my own world.

431

Um, but I'm obviously a lot more

432

Defensive when I know

that I've got her on me,

433

Tilly: have her

434

Dan 1: especially because I had to

have her covered up because it was

435

Because her head was just flying

all over the place because

436

Tilly: that I

437

Dan 1: no one could

tell that I had a baby.

438

I just looked real weird

439

fat was worried that somebody was just

440

Tilly: going to

441

Dan 1: that he was gonna

fight me for no reason

442

and then next time over

443

baby Zoe gets instead of myself

444

And so that was an

445

Tilly: I'm just fine.

446

Dan 1: Yeah, usually I'm just like Just

obliviously like if, I don't rise to it,

447

no one's just gonna punch me randomly.

448

Tilly: of everything when

you've got your child with you.

449

Like, I definitely am.

450

When I'm walking down the street,

I'm like, oh, that's, that's a

451

Dan 1: Did I tell you about the um,

452

the little racist

453

altercation

454

Tilly: way

455

Dan 1: So I'm on my way home,

456

and I see another

457

classic Oxford Road Reading drunkard.

458

Coming along.

459

She's one of the, she's like a woman in

her sort of late 50s, early 60s Traveling

460

with walking along with this of tall on

461

Tilly: are we just done

462

with, are we done

463

Dan 1: Sorry, so I was saying,

on my way back, yeah, there

464

was this, uh, this drunken lady

465

in her late fifties,

466

early sixties

467

or whatever.

468

Um, and one of these kind

of, silent types in tow.

469

Very, um, downtrodden

looking bloke and a very

470

overly mouthy looking woman.

471

Um, and just as we're passing

472

One of the like, uh, Indian or

Turkish international shops.

473

It was the Indian one,

474

just at the, um,

475

Tilly: The little fruit and veg?

476

Dan 1: yeah, all the fruit and veg.

477

For whatever reason, everyone walks

478

really slowly

479

on that one

480

stretch.

481

And they take up loads

482

of the

483

Tilly: the pavement.

484

Dan 1: And,

485

And, They take up loads of the pavement

with, like, the fruit and veg as well.

486

Now, I'm not really that bothered.

487

It annoys me slightly,

488

slowly, and I kind of,

489

Tilly: So she,

490

Dan 1: yeah, I just go around.

491

However, she was not in

the mood for going around,

492

so she, she just shouted, FUCK!

493

Get the fuck out my way, or

something, as she was going through.

494

And then she realized that one of

the people standing outside of the

495

shop was this, uh, young family.

496

Um.

497

and then she, and then she Was about to

apologize for swearing just as the mum

498

looked around looked really agitated at

her for swearing Oh, baby's got the mic.

499

Baby's got the mic.

500

There we go.

501

Baby hijacking the podcast as per usual

502

So she was about to apologize for

swearing just as this woman got irate

503

at her for swearing Well, not irate.

504

Gave her a glare.

505

That's daring.

506

And then she, Yep, baby's,

baby's wanting her moment again.

507

Oh, she's chewing on the

508

mic she's chewing She's chewing,

509

on the

510

Tilly: on the mic.

511

Everything.

512

Is it

513

tipping her off?

514

Dan 1: yeah, put the tit in your mouth

515

Tilly: Okay, I'll just

516

hold on to the mic.

517

Dan 1: Or if you want

518

you can just take it out of

the holder and let she hold it.

519

Tilly: Okay.

520

Dan 1: Um, and so gave her a glare.

521

And then she obviously took

massive umbrage at this glare,

522

given that she was drunk.

523

Tilly: Mmhmm.

524

Dan 1: And so they proceeded

to have a She just, the other,

525

the family, the lady there just kept

taking the piss out of her and didn't

526

really respond to her, just kept like,

527

um, not verbally, but just kept mimicking

her and doing all sorts of And so she

528

just kept getting more and more angry.

529

It was hilarious, because

it was like watching a

530

mime,

531

versus a A really drunk, angry person,

532

because they would just keep

doing things like mimic, this one

533

would just keep mimicking her in

ways that were obviously about,

534

And

535

she would just get more and more

irate because the woman wouldn't,

536

she'd be like,

537

what's that about?

538

What are you doing?

539

And she wouldn't explain herself.

540

So she'd get more and more irate.

541

And then eventually

542

the

543

woman started like, you know,

giving her the middle finger or

544

flipping her off or whatever.

545

Tilly: What the mum was doing this

or the drunk lady was doing this?

546

Dan 1: the mum was doing it,

547

Tilly: Great

548

example to

549

their children.

550

Dan 1: so then this was, this was the

551

point then, she was then like,

552

I was going to say sorry for

swearing to you, but you're

553

now fucking swearing at me,

554

You're

555

a fucking disgrace, how can you be a

mother, you fucking awful person, you

556

shouldn't be allowed to have a child, do

you know what, I don't know if you know

557

this, but in England, we don't let mums

do that, I'm going to call social service,

558

they're going to take that kid

away, I'm going to make sure of it.

559

I'm

560

going to call them now.

561

And I was like, yep,

562

because you got them on a hot, you got

them on speed dial and they respond

563

at 9, at 9pm on a Saturday night,

564

social services.

565

I'm gonna, I'm gonna be like,

yes, this six year old drunk

566

woman, she makes an ideal point.

567

Yeah, 60.

568

Tilly: Oh, I said six year old.

569

The six year old drunk.

570

Dan 1: This six year old drunk

woman, she's got a point.

571

Let's send out fast response

team, grab that kid.

572

Um, and so she just burst into this

racist tirade of, I don't know if you

573

know this, but in England we don't

574

do that.

575

Don't know where you're from.

576

And all this

577

Tilly: God, that's never

578

Dan 1: And I was just

like, yep, this is classic.

579

Tilly: Um, so

580

that was

581

Dan 1: Um, so that was entertaining.

582

That was entertaining.

583

I was considering just kind

of walking in and being like,

584

asking

585

for directions or

something to distract her.

586

And then have her be, and

then have her take me there,

587

pretend that I'm really lost.

588

But I was just like,

again, I've got Zoe with

589

me.

590

Yeah, you're happy now.

591

You're happy now.

592

Oh, yeah, you get to

look at screens as well.

593

You're forbidden screen.

594

Um, but yeah, so again, I was

like, I won't bother because it's

595

not worth

596

Tilly: Also, there's something about you,

as a personality, that does just like,

597

escalate situations.

598

Not

599

Dan 1: don't count things

when I escalate things, do I?

600

You

601

Tilly: You don't often seem to, but

you wouldn't, I mean, like, I think in

602

real life, when it's actually, like,

stuff, like, with people you know.

603

and things, I think you can.

604

But I think people don't know

605

you.

606

I think you can often escalate things.

607

Because you're quite direct.

608

You're a big person.

609

so people are already on

the sort of defensive often.

610

Because they sort of see this

big bloke coming at Um, And then

611

because you're very like, forthright

and like, straightforward, I

612

think people will be like, people

will find that a bit aggressive.

613

Dan 1: and all that.

614

Tilly: what I'll do.

615

the direction.

616

Dan 1: I've got so

617

um

618

Tilly: so baby's teething

619

Dan 1: Yeah, so baby's teething is

is nearly at the first puncture so

620

that's pretty good for we've got a

lot of scat chat to discuss don't we

621

So, anything else you

want to discuss this week?

622

Tilly: No?

623

Dan 1: No.

624

Okay.

625

Tilly: I

626

think other than sort of like, you know,

it was her birthday which doesn't really

627

got much to do with her, and going out,

628

Dan 1: mean, you can discuss

things that don't have anything

629

Tilly: No, no, but I

didn't, didn't do much else

630

Dan 1: So, on to the

highs, lows, funnies, then.

631

Tilly: Do you, do you have

anything else you want to discuss?

632

Dan 1: No.

633

No, I mean

634

Tilly: Your eyes look very green today.

635

Dan 1: this light.

636

darling.

637

It's this light.

638

Tilly: Hmm.

639

Dan 1: White light, because

my eyes look yeah, highs,

640

Tilly: Highs, Lows, Funnies.

641

What do I have

642

this week?

643

Dan 1: fucking around

with the mic, as usual.

644

Um.

645

Tilly: Um.

646

Well, I think highs has been like,

it's just we've had a lot of like,

647

nice time, together this week because

you had that Monday Tuesday off.

648

Dan 1: an issue.

649

Tilly: So it's just been nice

having lots of family time together.

650

Um, and because like, your work's

starting to wind down, you've got more

651

relaxed days as well, so we're getting

a bit more time together just generally.

652

Oh, good.

653

Um, which was nice.

654

Um, and then obviously

655

we had a lovely time seeing everyone.

656

I felt very supported by my

friends and family and you.

657

Dan 1: point

658

it.

659

Good.

660

Tilly: Yeah, it was really nice.

661

I really enjoyed it.

662

You know, I don't get to see all

my people, other people, together

663

very often, so that was lovely.

664

Um, yeah, and obviously they're

people that I, I love a lot.

665

Dan 1: high was my town excursion on

Saturday night, other than, Saturday

666

afternoon, other than being heckled.

667

Yeah?

668

Quite enjoyed just walking around

the fair, stepping around, having

669

a nice little stroll through town.

670

It's quite nice and chilled, it's like,

671

you know what, if we can

do this throughout shared

672

parental leave, it'll be quite

673

Tilly: it's nice.

674

isn't it?

675

Unless she

676

Dan 1: Yeah, yeah.

677

I was

678

Tilly: I walk into town, For not much

reason often just because it's quite nice.

679

Dan 1: pint down the next

head quite regularly.

680

Yeah, just half a

681

Tilly: My daddy's gonna come

in, you know, catch alcoholic

682

Dan 1: Alky.

683

I was just drinking, I drink half

a pint on my way into town, on

684

my way back from town, everyday.

685

And I walk into town, and I'm

like, day, just to keep the baby

686

Tilly: Just to catch five pints

a day, you know, Yeah, no, it's

687

I like walking around with her.

688

It's just nice But she

now now she's facing me.

689

Outwards and she's like you can see

she's looking and exploring and she

690

looks at people and she's interested

And obviously people react well to

691

her because she's just, just cutie.

692

We get people coming up to you.

693

Dan 1: I just get people going,

oh my gosh, cute baby, or you can

694

hear people like nudging other

695

Tilly: oh, Yeah.

696

Dan 1: Or

697

just telling you that your

wife's shagging on the blokes.

698

Tilly: Yeah?

699

that classic as Well

People don't tell me that.

700

People don't go Your husband's

clearly shagging another woman.

701

my heart.

702

Do you know your line?

703

Dan 1: that was my high.

704

Do you know your low?

705

Do you have any?

706

Throat pain.

707

Tilly: Yeah,

708

Dan 1: unreasonable throat

709

Tilly: Yeah, I don't know what it was,

like one gland was like, Fuck you!

710

You

711

don't get to drink.

712

Um,

713

yeah,

714

I always find out if I've had like

a heavy night of drinking, I wake

715

up, I don't necessarily feel like,

hangover in the classic sense, but

716

I always feel really hot and stuffy,

and my eyes are always a bit sore.

717

Um, so that wasn't fun, but

I'm not particularly low, it's

718

just, Payback for

drinking, isn't it, really?

719

Dan 1: Yeah.

720

Tilly: Um, well,

721

Um,

722

So,

723

no, no massive lows

724

this week.

725

Do you have any particular lows this week?

726

Dan 1: Um, I think, I think Saturday

night when I got back from, from,

727

having dinner with you and she was

overtired, because we'd obviously

728

kept her awake all afternoon, and then

while we were in the, uh, the club,

729

Revolucion de Cuba, the club,

uh, she also wasn't sleeping.

730

so she slept the walk home, but

731

then when I got home, you know,

I had to sort of, you Sort out

732

the, the, the blow up beds,

733

spare, like, all the

sort of places for people

734

Tilly: And these

735

Dan 1: out the clothes in our bedroom

and all these sorts of things so

736

that it was all kind of ready.

737

And

738

she just wasn't having any of it.

739

So she kept kicking off at me and going

like, you know, when she gets proper

740

red eye screaming and then tears,

741

Tilly: she

742

Dan 1: and she gets real exasperated.

743

So eventually I kind of just paused,

gave up, went in, went, climbed into bed.

744

And um, had some bottle,

but then I fell asleep as

745

well.

746

So we both ended up just

asleep for like two hours.

747

And then I woke up at about

half eleven, midnight.

748

I was like, oh shit, still

got all this stuff to do.

749

I don't know what time

they're coming back.

750

Managed to kind of slowly

roll her into the next to me.

751

And then um,

752

set off the uh,

753

The airbed going at midnight,

so I'm sure our neighbors were

754

rather pissed off as I Blasted the

airbed, but she didn't wake up.

755

So hopefully the neighbors

didn't hear it either,

756

Tilly: I think it's quite

like a white noisy noise.

757

Dan 1: Yeah, but it sounds

like a very aggressive

758

vacuum at like midnight

759

Tilly: if they're here at the moment.

760

Dan 1: and then Yeah, so she was just

a bit, a bit aggro while I, while I

761

knew I had quite a bit of stuff to do,

762

um,

763

Yeah, but after that

764

she

765

calmed down once she got a,

she got a proper during that.

766

Tilly: very happy we all got home.

767

Yeah,

768

Dan 1: had a sleep, she

was ready to party again.

769

Tilly: Yeah.

770

Dan 1: Ready to party.

771

Tilly: And then mumma

passed out in bed next to

772

Dan 1: Yeah.

773

do you

774

Tilly: I mean, probably

the whole night out.

775

On Saturday.

776

Dan 1: Grinding on that, on that wall.

777

Tilly: Just dancing, just

778

having a good time, like

779

Me and two of my sisters decided

we'd like go to all those classic

780

photo booths that you get.

781

And take pictures, you know.

782

And The first one we obviously

didn't know it was going to happen.

783

so We were completely caught off guard.

784

And we were just like, we all look shit.

785

Um,

786

and I mean, the other three aren't much

787

better.

788

But, yeah, no, good, like, fun memories.

789

And, oh, I drank some wine

off my ice skates, classic.

790

Dan 1: Yeah, yeah.

791

Tilly: That's what you do.

792

Dan 1: You're drinking Smirnoff

793

Tilly: Forgot how fucking sweet it is.

794

Dan 1: That's quite a

drink, so much of it.

795

Tilly: I didn't drink that much of it.

796

I

797

Dan 1: Whole two bottles, how

798

Tilly: think it was max two bottles

799

Dan 1: do think

800

Tilly: It was.

801

And it's just mainly sugar, isn't it?

802

It's not so much alcohol

in the smell of things.

803

Which is probably good for me, actually.

804

Dan 1: I

805

Tilly: Yeah.

806

Those WKDs as well, I was like,

maybe I should like, I think,

807

probably vomit inducing to me.

808

But it's got a little bit of lemon,

yeah, it's got a slight edge to it.

809

Whereas, whereas

810

blue,

811

WKDs, is that?

812

Just blue.

813

Blue flavour.

814

Dan 1: blue.

815

Okay, my funny was, I

think it was Thursday,

816

Tilly: Yeah.

817

Dan 1: I was lying in bed,

818

and I was

819

having a sexy dream,

820

Tilly: about me, obviously.

821

Dan 1: at night.

822

I can't remember what it was about.

823

I think it was one of those weird ones

whereby the The topic of the dream

824

is very strange if you think about it

objectively, like for some reason I

825

think it had monks involved, but anyway.

826

Tilly: classic.

827

He doesn't find a monk sexy,

828

Dan 1: I don't know why, but

I think there was something,

829

something monastic about the dream.

830

Um, and then I, uh,

831

and

832

then I got nudged, and you know like,

Done, what, and you rolled her over

833

and just placed her between us and

she started doing, you know, her just

834

kicking.

835

thing, where she just kicks her legs.

836

She just kept kicking my boner.

837

She was just running that thing,

838

just kept getting booted in the penis.

839

And I was like, okay, I'm awake,

and the dream's definitely over.

840

It's

841

Tilly: penis is definitely going down.

842

Dan 1: And turns out she needed a nappy

843

change as I got kicked in

the dick by, by my baby.

844

And I So yeah, mine.

845

I was like, well, there's no more

rude awakening and definitely

846

no longer in whatever this sex

847

dream is,

848

in this monastery.

849

Tilly: dungeon.

850

It's Monastery.

851

I can't remember,

852

Dan 1: I can't, I don't, I, some, yeah.

853

how about you?

854

Tilly: I told you my pun is,

855

I

856

Dan 1: Oh yeah, you did.

857

Tilly: can tell we're not with it today.

858

I

859

Dan 1: I mean, I always do that actually.

860

Sometimes I listen back to the episode and

I realise that I make you do like three

861

Tilly: funny.

862

place.

863

And another one!

864

Dan 1: And another funny face!

865

You always have to do

two for my every one.

866

It's

867

Tilly: That's classic our life, guys.

868

Dan 1: lifeguide.

869

Oh, alrighty.

870

How many times are you meant

to take in those casts to

871

be rechecked

872

before I have to just do

873

it?

874

Yeah, how many

875

times did

876

I

877

try and do it?

878

did I successfully do it?

879

many

880

Tilly: Okay.

881

You said you were gonna

do it and didn't do it

882

Dan 1: recall any of

883

Tilly: that's funny that,

that's so funny that, yeah.

884

Very selective memory,

885

Dan 1: Yeah, yeah, I

886

Tilly: really.

887

Sure.

888

Bad.

889

It needs to be, yeah.

890

Dan 1: mean, I wouldn't say based on need,

just general, just so happens that it's

891

Tilly: coincidence.

892

Uhhuh, Winky, dinks.

893

All right then, So we do a,

894

Dan 1: do a a lot.

895

We've

896

Tilly: she's been shitting hard.

897

this week.

898

Dan 1: shitting real hard.

899

But like, not

900

Tilly: But like, not that often.

901

Dan 1: one a day,

902

Tilly: like generally,

generally it's one a day.

903

That's our standard.

904

She's not a

905

Well, three is one.

906

And then, or like, but then there's been

like a couple of times where she's not

907

poofed for like a day or a couple of

days and suddenly it's been like, oh no.

908

I think she's not pooed

for like a day and a half.

909

It was on Thursday and then like

just for mum and pops were coming

910

to look after her that day.

911

I put her in a nice cute outfit.

912

We don't tend to do

that often, but I tried.

913

to make it a nice outfit for Nana

914

I sat on the bed while I was

getting ready, and I don't know,

915

I just came right down from the shower.

916

looked at her,

917

She gets like,

918

I feel like

919

her eyes get slightly red around,

the, before she does the poo, I

920

think maybe she's just straining.

921

she

922

gets really quiet, and I was like, oh no,

923

I'm just gonna do this,

but it didn't sound like

924

it was that big.

925

but it, oh my god, it was, wasn't it?

926

I had to call you upstairs.

927

Dan 1: Yeah.

928

So it

929

Tilly: so we had

930

to like, give her a good

wipe down, change her outfit,

931

give it to Nana, all good,

932

I came back from work.

933

Dan 1: it made me late for

934

Tilly: maybe also late for work.

935

Dan 1: It made us both late for work.

936

Tilly: Um,

937

and then I came back, I was

like, oh, she's done any more.

938

No, she be absolute fine.

939

I was said, okay, thank

God she's been fine.

940

Literally as soon as mum

left, big shit again.

941

Dan 1: shitter.

942

There's another one

943

Tilly: And then she did

another one later on that.

944

day.

945

as well.

946

Like it was just a, that

was a heavy shit day.

947

But she just did quite

a few over flowy poos,

948

isn't

949

Dan 1: one of Just pure liquid, wasn't it?

950

seeped out all over.

951

Mummy had just put you

in a nice white outfit.

952

Stop nutting the mic.

953

Of course you're not going to enjoy that.

954

I think somebody might need a nappy

955

Tilly: Probably gonna feed,

956

Okay, so look at this one.

957

Hotel rooms don't generally

have changing tables.

958

So, so I changed my newly mobile

baby on a towel on the floor.

959

I thought it was funny when he escaped

clean but diaperless and the drapes to,

960

Dan 1: Okay.

961

This good?

962

Tilly: Yeah.

963

okay.

964

Clean but diaperless

965

and Crawl

966

between the couch and the drapes to play

an adorable game of pantless peekaboo.

967

Delightful.

968

Until that is, he quietly

took a big shit on the carpet.

969

Mid peak.

970

turns out

971

it is possible to clean

shit out of a carpet

972

with a washcloth and a

barb hotel hand soap.

973

I was still glad we were

checking out that morning.

974

Dan 1: Yeah, I wonder if she got fined.

975

Tilly: Oh, she doesn't say.

976

I've

977

Dan 1: Okay, my turn My first visit

to work with my mum's old baby.

978

All I bought was my wallet.

979

Crikey,

980

great

981

Tilly: What a fool!

982

Dan 1: No diaper bag.

983

No diapers.

984

Sure enough as she's making the

rounds Everyone cooing over her.

985

She takes a huge shit.

986

Yeah your first

987

visit

988

to work.

989

I wonder what all your colleagues

think You're underprepared.

990

That's what they What saved

me in my rookie stupidity?

991

I was in the office of a woman's magazine

The story ends with me changing her

992

on a meeting table Bubble envelope as

a changing pad using makeup remover

993

wipes and a single sample diaper.

994

There

995

Tilly: I thought it was going to be like

a sanitary towel as well as the midgeting.

996

Dan 1: Yeah,

997

Okay, I'm waiting at the doctor's office.

998

She's late and my two month old girl

is fussy, so I'm bouncing her in a

999

carrier carrier around the waiting room.

00:36:30,776 --> 00:36:31,785

Like a crazy person.

00:36:32,346 --> 00:36:36,444

A nice old lady points at me,

points at my leg saying, uhoh, uhoh.

00:36:37,075 --> 00:36:42,626

I look down and that running yellow poo

is leaking down my jeans past my knees.

00:36:44,402 --> 00:36:47,486

A nurse gave me a private room

to change, but all of the stuff I

00:36:47,486 --> 00:36:48,785

lugged with me, no clean outfits.

00:36:49,644 --> 00:36:51,168

I've never thought to pack our own

00:36:51,682 --> 00:36:52,547

Tilly: Well, no, of course not.

00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:56,748

Dan 1: No, I'm I stripped her down,

used her sleeper to wipe my jeans,

00:36:57,159 --> 00:36:58,290

and wrapped her in a blanket.

00:36:58,654 --> 00:37:00,290

The doctor just laughed when she saw us.

00:37:00,963 --> 00:37:04,692

After the appointment, I hauled ass to

the car with my naked baby, like I'd just

00:37:04,710 --> 00:37:06,224

stolen something from a corner store.

00:37:06,692 --> 00:37:07,748

Never forgot outfits

00:37:08,065 --> 00:37:08,336

again.

00:37:08,337 --> 00:37:09,208

I assume she means

00:37:09,290 --> 00:37:10,411

Tilly: I think she was a baby Yeah, it's

00:37:10,869 --> 00:37:12,234

Dan 1: she now just carries around, like

00:37:12,570 --> 00:37:15,514

Tilly: I was gonna say like she'd

maybe got some scrubs or something, but

00:37:16,710 --> 00:37:17,913

Dan 1: it smells like Sure, sure.

00:37:17,913 --> 00:37:18,650

After you choose

00:37:24,308 --> 00:37:24,636

Tilly: Okay.

00:37:24,804 --> 00:37:26,939

My newborn daughter's shit did not stink.

00:37:28,722 --> 00:37:30,449

It's smell was reminiscent of popcorn.

00:37:32,393 --> 00:37:32,411

Ha!

00:37:33,682 --> 00:37:37,075

After introducing solid foods though,

their poops became smelly recaps

00:37:37,075 --> 00:37:38,215

of the meals we'd shared together.

00:37:39,365 --> 00:37:39,523

If a

00:37:39,523 --> 00:37:39,916

hundred

00:37:39,916 --> 00:37:40,477

blueberries

00:37:40,682 --> 00:37:43,383

or black beans went in,

a hundred would come out.

00:37:43,514 --> 00:37:47,813

embedded in fecal matter,

How But otherwise unchanged.

00:37:47,813 --> 00:37:47,977

Are

00:37:48,556 --> 00:37:48,743

Dan 1: them?

00:37:49,257 --> 00:37:50,313

Are you giving them whole?

00:37:51,472 --> 00:37:51,827

It's a hundred

00:37:52,453 --> 00:37:53,285

blueberries, or

00:37:53,888 --> 00:37:55,346

Tilly: you're not allowed to give them

whole, you have to cut them in half.

00:37:55,607 --> 00:37:55,925

But, yes.

00:37:56,593 --> 00:37:57,631

Dan 1: sure you're making a like

00:37:58,084 --> 00:37:58,813

Tilly: No, you get baby solids.

00:37:58,813 --> 00:38:00,327

I'm giving her solids

pretty much straight away.

00:38:00,327 --> 00:38:01,533

It's far more interesting for the baby.

00:38:02,374 --> 00:38:02,776

Handheld.

00:38:02,780 --> 00:38:03,042

Dan 1: just

00:38:04,598 --> 00:38:06,187

Tilly: Well, because, remember, until

they're a year, they're not actually

00:38:06,187 --> 00:38:07,449

getting nutrition from their food,

00:38:07,734 --> 00:38:08,182

Dan 1: Oh,

00:38:08,308 --> 00:38:09,551

Tilly: They're still getting

pretty much all the nutrition

00:38:09,551 --> 00:38:10,935

from formula or breast milk.

00:38:11,402 --> 00:38:13,449

The only thing they're getting is a

bit of iron, because your breast milk

00:38:13,449 --> 00:38:14,402

doesn't give them enough iron after

00:38:15,363 --> 00:38:16,016

Dan 1: into

00:38:16,065 --> 00:38:16,757

Tilly: iron rich foods.

00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:17,664

Dan 1: button.

00:38:17,664 --> 00:38:23,430

Some eye Anyway, A bucks

00:38:24,065 --> 00:38:24,393

Tilly: steak.

00:38:24,411 --> 00:38:25,037

You don't have salt,

00:38:25,037 --> 00:38:25,336

really.

00:38:25,468 --> 00:38:25,902

Dan 1: Dermatitis,

00:38:26,523 --> 00:38:28,944

Tilly: Anyway, a hundred would come out.

00:38:29,028 --> 00:38:30,477

Better than faecal matter, but otherwise

00:38:30,523 --> 00:38:31,103

unchanged.

00:38:31,748 --> 00:38:35,262

Recently, our daycare provider forgot

to put a disposable Liner between

00:38:35,271 --> 00:38:35,402

Em's

00:38:35,841 --> 00:38:37,991

bum and the absorbent

pad of her cloth diaper.

00:38:38,991 --> 00:38:42,738

She's just We use liners so

that the poo can be dumped.

00:38:42,738 --> 00:38:45,935

into the toilet instead of

being mashed into the cloth.

00:38:46,103 --> 00:38:48,804

Fair Em took a dump in the

linerless diaper, which made it's

00:38:48,804 --> 00:38:50,290

way back to us in a bag, with

00:38:50,290 --> 00:38:51,720

the other soiled cloth diapers.

00:38:52,037 --> 00:38:52,374

Lovely.

00:38:52,860 --> 00:38:54,963

That night, as my partner

breastfed and enjoyed some

00:38:54,963 --> 00:38:55,271

quiet

00:38:55,271 --> 00:38:58,047

time with Em, I was in the

bathroom scraping at the faeces.

00:38:58,551 --> 00:39:00,037

Faeces is a horrible, just say poo.

00:39:01,056 --> 00:39:05,458

In her fouled diaper, with delicate wads

of toilet paper, Em had eaten black beans.

00:39:06,107 --> 00:39:06,444

And,

00:39:07,229 --> 00:39:07,930

a whole lot else.

00:39:07,958 --> 00:39:08,584

I can tell you with

00:39:08,603 --> 00:39:10,453

some of the moisture sucks out of it.

00:39:10,706 --> 00:39:12,481

poop of a toddler would

make a fabulous adhesive.

00:39:14,939 --> 00:39:16,304

Just a bit of a gross

story, really, isn't it?

00:39:16,486 --> 00:39:17,607

Dan 1: Yeah, that wasn't funny.

00:39:18,003 --> 00:39:18,388

Tilly: was it?

00:39:19,005 --> 00:39:19,537

Sorry, Lee.

00:39:19,650 --> 00:39:20,154

Not funny.

00:39:20,393 --> 00:39:21,159

Dan 1: Yeah, you ain't

00:39:22,322 --> 00:39:22,612

Tilly: On that note.

00:39:23,542 --> 00:39:25,579

Dan 1: One actual thing,

we've also got a, we've got a

00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:27,163

Tilly: last week.

00:39:27,706 --> 00:39:28,210

It wasn't.

00:39:28,874 --> 00:39:30,715

Still not, still poison,

still poison, still there.

00:39:31,037 --> 00:39:33,991

Dan 1: Yeah, so I think that's

over a week without a sighting.

00:39:34,341 --> 00:39:37,776

On that, we'll say goodbye.

00:39:39,262 --> 00:39:40,963

Yeah, yeah, this is, so next week.

00:39:41,313 --> 00:39:42,500

Tilly: Just cash forgot to mention that

00:39:42,570 --> 00:39:45,093

Dan 1: Yeah, so next week,

it'll be my first week of

00:39:45,140 --> 00:39:48,243

being on full shared parental

00:39:48,519 --> 00:39:50,472

Tilly: so we've got one week of

sort of togetherness which is nice

00:39:51,836 --> 00:39:55,771

and then I'm back to work full

time Yeah, so we'll discuss that

00:39:55,771 --> 00:39:58,154

with you guys next week Stay tuned

00:40:03,134 --> 00:40:04,888

Dan 1: Hi guys, thank you

very much for listening.

00:40:04,888 --> 00:40:06,098

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00:40:06,098 --> 00:40:09,391

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00:40:15,152 --> 00:40:15,606

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00:40:15,725 --> 00:40:19,615

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