Self-discipline is one of the keys to living an amazing and fulfilling life. In this episode, Dr Demartini answers your questions and shares the keys to developing self-discipline that lasts. Get ready for simple steps to follow that can help you live with self-discipline and inner strength.

This content is for educational and personal development purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any psychological or medical conditions. The information and processes shared are for general educational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional mental-health or medical advice. If you are experiencing acute distress or ongoing clinical concerns, please consult a licensed health-care provider.

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And I liberated myself from doing anything that was not inspiring,

that I tended to procrastinate, hesitate, and frustrate,

or feel like I 'had to do', 'should do',

'supposed to do' and shed all those and get onto the thing that produced the

most.

I think that everybody here has times when they have procrastinated, hesitated,

frustrated, delayed, distracted, et cetera,

and not stayed focused on something that is deeply meaningful

and built momentum. So let's talk about that.

So maybe you get a pencil and paper out or type on your Apple

computer, or whatever you want to write on. Now,

I rarely do a talk without talking about values and there's no way I can,

because there really is no aspect of human behavior that doesn't revolve

around our set of values.

So let me start there and let me go off into this particular topic from there.

Every human being, including you right now, and your loved ones,

the people who care about and people you interact with,

each have a unique set of priorities,

a set of values that they run their life by. This set of values,

determines how they perceive, how they decide, and how they act.

Every perception is filtered through what you value most.

Every decision is based on what you believe will give

over disadvantage at any moment, relative to the highest values.

And the actions are spontaneous in your highest values.

I want you to hear that, your actions are spontaneous in your highest value,

but as you go down the list of values,

you require more extrinsic motivation to get you to do it.

So that's where you procrastinate, hesitate, and frustrate.

So that's why when you say 'I keep procrastinating, I keep distracting.

I keep not staying focused.

I'm not staying disciplined.' It's because what you're asking yourself to

do is somehow a lower value.

In the 1980s, I used to do seminars all over the United States.

And I found that I would ask people to write down the number one question that

they would have, and just turn it to the aisle and turn it forward,

and unquestionably, the number one question that I got in the 80s was;

how do I stay focused? How do I stay disciplined?

And that's primarily because people sometimes set up objectives in

their life or goals in their life or fantasies in their life that aren't deeply

meaningful to them, but they think they need to get done.

And this is where the problem is, that people compare themselves to others,

put people on pedestals, inject values from others,

they cloud the clarity of what they're dedicated to,

and they lose sight of what's deeply meaning and important to them,

and then try to do these other things,

and they don't surround themselves with people who they can delegate to.

So they get trapped having to do low priority things

about doing, they have nobody to delegate it to. And so they're trapped.

If you're not delegating lower priority actions, insourced or outsourced,

and you're not focused on the highest priority things in your life,

and you haven't figured out how to get paid to do what's highest in priority,

you're going to have a vacation vocation split.

You're going to have a 'Monday morning blues', 'Wednesday hump days',

'thank God it's Friday's',

and 'week friggin end' life instead of where your vacation and vocation are the

same,

where you're doing something you can't wait to get up in the morning and do.

I've been dedicated for the last 48 and a half years to studying and researching

and teaching. I don't need reminding.

I don't need motivating to go and teach.

I will definitely need motivation and external push to do things

lower on my values.

So I made it a point to find somebody who loves doing what I want to get rid of

and not do, and hire somebody to do that. You probably thinking 'Well, yeah,

well, you've got the income to do it.' No.

It actually changed it. When I was 27 years old,

I got a book by Alec Mackenzie, The Time Trap,

and I learned to prioritize and delegate then.

I wasn't able to delegate because I had more money.

I made more money because I delegated. That was a major thing.

It doesn't cost to delegate properly, it costs to not delegate properly.

So the moment you actually delegate something that's lower in priority and get

on with the thing that's highest in priority and do the thing that really is

spontaneously called from within to do,

the thing you can't wait to get up in the morning and do and do it in a way that

it serves people so you're remunerated.

And then surround yourself with people you delegate things to,

that love doing it, that do a greater job than you would even do it,

that don't procrastinate doing it, so you don't have to micromanage them.

So you're free to do what you love doing.

This is the way to liberate yourself and to be disciplined. Now,

at one time,

when I was trying to do all these other things before I could delegate,

when I was 27 years old, I had to put checklists in place.

And I'm all for checklists. I think checklists are great reminders,

checkup from the neck up.

But I was doing that because I would forget to do the

priority that I felt trapped to do, trapped having to do,

because I hadn't somebody to delegate it to.

But once I freed that up and delegated it and liberated myself,

I could do what was most important. In that case,

was gathering new information and sharing that information with people that was

involving and leveraging and scaling up my business. I made more income.

I was able to reach more people. I had more fulfillment, more energy.

The moment I prioritized what I was doing to the things that were really,

truly deeply meaningful to me,

the highest priority actions that spontaneously come out of me.

In your highest value, I'm going to say it again,

you spontaneously are inspired to act.

So if you're not inspired to act and you have to be reminded and motivated and

incentivized to do something, it's not what's important to you.

And remember your authentic expression of yourself,

the most ontological identity that you have in your life is your highest value.

My identify myself as teacher, my highest value is teaching.

If my highest value was serial entrepreneurship,

I'd call myself an entrepreneur. If my highest value was fathering,

I'd say the father. All of the highest values that we all have,

is what our life's identity revolves around. The moment we're authentic,

the moment we set our goals to line with what is highest on our value,

we electrify our energy levels and we are disciplined.

Self-Discipline is really self-mastery, which is really living authentically,

according to what you value most.

And many people can't wrap their head around that. I'm amazed.

I've been saying this for years. I mean, we're talking about decades.

But some people come up with the idea, they go, 'Well, but I need to do this.

I've got to do this.

I have to do this.' They don't realize that any time you hear yourself saying,

'I got to', 'I have to', 'I must', 'I need to', 'I should', 'I'm supposed to',

all the imperative languages,

which has is an outer responsibility telling me what I've got to do,

are a choice. You're choosing to do that not because you have to,

you're choosing it because you haven't delegated it and get it off your plate.

Some people say, 'well, I've got to do this. I've got to do that.' No,

you don't. You think you do.

You think you do.

And as long as you come up with that BS that you have to do it,

then you're trapped.

And the reason you're having to do it is because you're not caring enough about

doing what's really important to you in a way that serves people.

I'm a firm believer. I've had people come up to me for years and say, you know,

'I'd love to do what I love and what's my purpose,

and I'd love to do what I love' and everything else. And I said, well,

your purpose is an expression of your highest value.

Your purpose is something that serves humanity, serves people.

If you're not caring enough about humanity to do something that serves other

individuals and fills their need, there's no income.

If there's no income doing what you love doing,

you're going to have to do something other than what you love doing every single

day to make an income. And now you've just split yourself up,

but finding out what it is that you love doing.

I was having a dinner late in the evening with Tom Jones, the singer,

one time in Sydney, Australia, little Thai restaurant.

My wife was still alive then and we had dinner,

and he was at that time doing sometimes two gigs a day.

He's calmed down a bit now, he's in his 80s now, but he calmed down a bit,

but he was doing two gigs a day and sometimes two performances a day and doing

250 presentations and singing events per

year. And he says, after he finishes he goes and has a dinner,

which is what he was doing that night, and has a little bit of wine,

and next morning, he gets up and has a protein shake,

works out and goes and does his scales and gets ready for the next one.

He automatically did that for freaking 60 years.

It's not because he 'had to' do it. It's not because he 'got to' do it.

It's because he loved singing and he structured his life accordingly.

And nobody's going to get up in the morning and dedicate their life to you.

It's up to you. So here's some suggestions.

This is what I want you to write down.

This is something that Mary Kay from Mary Kay Ash from Mary Kay Cosmetics

shared with me many years ago, 36 plus years ago now. She said,

write down every single day,

the highest priority actions that you can do that can help you fulfill what you

feel is deeply meaningful, your goals and dreams.

So I got a little index card, right?

And I basically sat down and I wrote on that index card,

I sat and I closed my eyes and I thought about what I was grateful for.

Cause when I'm grateful, I tend to be more authentic, more centered.

And then I wrote down exactly what is the highest priority actions I can do

today under these experiences and circumstances,

what exactly I can do today that can help me fulfill my mission.

And at the time my mission was to travel the world and teach, inspire people,

right? So I wrote down, what is the highest priority things I can do?

And I wrote down six or seven things, usually 7, and I wrote them down.

Then I said, okay, these are my highest priority.

And I didn't write down goals and objectives that take days,

I wrote down action steps for that day. Action steps for that day.

Not weeks, not projects, an action step that day.

Unless the project,

the action step was to sort through and break down a project into daily actions,

that might happen. But I wrote down what are the action steps today.

And then I made a commitment. I prioritized that actions.

And then I went after them one by one by priority. And I made the calls.

I did the actions. I did whatever it is that was priority of that day.

And these are the things that were most meaningful to me, most inspiring to me.

And I did my best to delegate some of those,

but some of the things I hadn't quite delegated at that stage.

So in the process of doing, I did the highest priority.

When I did my energy level went up, I was more invigorated. I was more inspired.

I was more spontaneous. My self-worth went up. My creativity went up.

I was willing to embrace the challenges more resiliently.

I was more creative in the sense of coming up with solutions to problems.

I noticed that whenever I lived by the highest priorities,

my overall performance maximized, my self worth went up as I said.

Now, I then put that card and I stored it in a box. I got the next day.

I did the same thing,

and I wrote down the highest priority things I could think of that day that

would be most important for me to do, to fulfill my mission.

And I kept those in the box and I did the same thing, live by priority each day.

And then I noticed something after accumulating those

I pulled out that box and I decided to take the number one card.

And I wrote down the seven things that I'd written. And then I tossed the card.

I took the next card and I wrote down the additional seven things I did. Now,

5 of them were the same as before. So I really only had to add two more.

And then I put line line, cause there was twice now it's coming up.

And then I tossed the card. And go to the next card. I pulled it up.

And then I noticed that three of them were the same and four additional ones.

And I went line line line on those three and the four additional's I just wrote

down. And every time I pulled up the card,

I would do it and I started doing line line, line, line, slash, line, line,

line line, slash.

I then looked at and I took the top ones that were the highest priorities of the

highest priorities, the absolute highest priorities of the highest priorities.

And it came out research, write, travel, teach.

Believe it or not. I then put that on my mission statement at that time;

research, write, travel, teach. That's been with me for all these years.

And I found out that this was the four highest priority things that kept showing

up most consistently. So I realized if I researched and I added new information,

gathered new information that was inspiring to me and solve problems,

I took a cosmic puzzle and I looked at all the different things that I wanted to

study and make sense out of it.

And I liberated myself from doing anything that was not inspiring,

that I tended to procrastinate, hesitate, frustrate, or feel like I had to do,

should do,

supposed to do and shed all those and get onto the thing that produced the most.

My income went up, my productivity went up, my energy went up,

my creativity went up, my notoriety went up.

I ended up having more opportunities. Because I really believe physiology,

psychology, sociology,

and our business is creating symptoms when we're not authentic,

but it actually rewards us when we are authentic.

So the secret of being disciplined is stick to highest priority because you're

automatically spontaneously inspired to do that action. That's where you excel.

In the process of doing that I'd liberated myself from all the crazies that I

normally would have to do, because it doesn't feel great,

whenever you're doing something that's low in priority that you feel like you

have to do,

you're drained at the end of the day and you're down in your amygdala and your

amygdala wants even more distraction.

So if you want to fill your life with distractions, do low priority things.

If you want to inspire your life with actions, do high priority things.

That's how you stay disciplined. People look up to me and say, 'well,

you're so disciplined'. No,

I'm not really any more disciplined than anybody else.

I just prioritize my life and don't have to do the other things anymore.

The reason I did that is not because 'well I had money,

now I can hire people to do it',

it's that I hired people to do it and I made more money.

And people don't get that. And it doesn't cost, as I said, to delegate properly,

it costs not to, it costs your life not to, it costs your wealth not to.

And then I learned to make sure that whatever I earned additionally from that,

through the extraction of surplus labor value out of the people,

is I ended up putting that into savings and investing.

So then I eventually had the money working to such a degree that whether I work

or I don't work, I've got an income. And then you get to do what you love.

Not because you have to, or got to, but because you love to.

And when you love to do things, you can't wait to get up in the morning,

you do exactly what Warren Buffet says, tap dance to work.

So I'm a firm believer in prioritization.

So take the time to write down the six or seven highest priority actions that

will help you fulfill your highest values and do the things that are most

meaningful. Also go online to my website,

dr.demartini.com and do the Value Determination process.

When I did the Value Determination process and I did that exercise,

they both led right to the same answers. It was quite beautiful.

It was almost like an absolute confirmation that I'm on

what I'm committed to. And if you do that, you have more, you don't age as much,

you're more inspired like that, you don't feel stressed.

Whenever you're living by lower values, you tend to be polarized.

You tend to avoid pain, seek pleasure, avoid predator, seek prey,

avoid challenge, seek opportune and seek ease, in the process of doing that

you tend to polarize yourself. When you do,

you tend to get more infatuated easily and more resentful easily. When you do,

you fear the loss of that which you seek and you fear the gain of that what

you're trying to avoid,

and you go into stress and you're down into the distraction mode.

That's why it's so important to become an executive by living by the highest

priority actions you can do each day.

If you stop and reflect and get grateful and think about what is really,

truly highest in priority,

and only set your focus on things that are highest in priority,

don't waste your time on low priority actions.

Don't waste your time doing low priority stuff. I mean,

if you're in a situation where you can't delegate it yet, okay,

but if you can't delegate it yet, here's what you do.

You take the job duty that you feel that you're trapped having to do,

and you ask yourself,

how specifically is doing this helping me fulfill my highest value and you say,

doing this temporarily until I can delegate it?

So if you can see how it's going to help you go fulfill your objectives and see

it on the way, not in the way, and then delegate the lower priority actions.

Once you get access to somebody you can delegate it to,

you're doing it temporarily to actually get you freed of it.

So I basically asked myself two things; either,

how do I do what I love through delegating?

Or how do I love what I do through linking?

And I link how specifically is doing this action temporarily until I can

delegate it, helping me fulfill what is most valuable to me?

If I can take those things

and I can't yet delegate because I haven't got somebody to delegate to and link

it to my highest value by asking,

how specific is it helping me fulfill my highest value?

Then it will be less draining to do it. But in the meantime,

be finding somebody to go and delegate it to,

because it's liberating to finally get that off your back.

I found that when I used to drive many years ago, 30 something years ago,

I used to drive, and I didn't like driving.

When I was a kid maybe I liked driving.

But when I got into thing and sitting in traffic was absolutely not my

inspiration. So I just said, you know what?

I'm going to delegate this and get this off my plate.

I can be in the back seat and I can get my computer out.

Or I can read a book or I can write an article or I can communicate with

somebody, I can consult with somebody.

I can do something and not be distracted by how long it takes to drive or crazy

drivers or whatever. I know some of you when you're driving,

you're listening to music or you listen to educational items and things like

that, that's fine. But I had no desire to drive. You may love driving.

If you love driving, then do it. But I don't have a desire to drive.

Haven't had a desire to drive in 30 something years.

So I basically delegated that. Wow, I freed that up.

I wrote that off as a business expense,

instead of buying a car and having to pay for it and paying taxes on it and

having a depreciable and parking it and taking care of it and all that,

I just freed that up. You know,

I did the kind of the Uber life way before Uber was around.

And I liberated that. I learned that from Robin Leach,

from The Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, get rid of the cars,

get rid of the stuff that weighs you down and simplify your life and go and

focus on what service is and use your time most effectively,

your life and your time are the same. And by doing that,

I liberated myself from that. Then I realized there's a lot of other things,

cooking wasn't my thing. Delegated.

I delegated everything that wasn't inspiring to me.

And if you want an inspiring life, you want a disciplined life,

stick to the highest priorities and delegate the rest away.

Now I know that that's probably sounding a little bit you know,

overwhelming right now at this stage possibly cause you probably got a lot of

stuff you want to delegate. Well, I did too.

I had layers of stuff to delegate when I started,

but I just took a little layer at a time, one little piece at a time.

And as I delegated layer upon layer upon layer,

I noticed my life lifted up and it was lighter. It was more inspiring.

It was freeing. I didn't seem to stress as ., Not as much aging.

I didn't need as much sleep.

It freed me up for 35 years I did four hours sleep,

even though you're supposed to do eight, I never did eight.

I needed four hours sleep.

And I had plenty of energy and could go and work circles around people.

Is because I was doing what I was loving each day and not doing something I felt

trapped having to do. Whenever you're doing those things,

you're draining yourself instead of gaining yourself.

And so it's about prioritization. So again,

take the time to prioritize what you do every single day and surround yourself

with people you can delegate the things away from. Now,

I'm not against the checklist. As I said earlier, I have a checklist.

I have two checklists.

I don't mind doing a checklist of the absolute things that absolutely work.

So what you do is you sit down and every single day ask what worked and what

didn't work each day. And you write down the things that worked,

and write down the things that didn't work and put those in a list and compile

those lists.

There's no harm in going through and reviewing the things that are the wise to

do and things that are unwise to do. No problem doing that. I found a checklist,

it was a great checkup from the neck up for the mind and basically helped me

stay focused. Every morning I would get there and I would review that checklist.

Every night I would then go through and check it off and find out what I'm

doing. If I saw a pattern of which ones I was not doing,

versus which ones I was doing, I then asked myself, okay,

either I need to delegate that because I'm not doing it. Or I need to link it.

Either delegate it or link it. If I couldn't delegate it, I linked it.

If I could delegate it, I delegated it.

I find out what works and what doesn't work and the ones that work go through

and check it and check it off every day.

And that gives you feedback on whether or not you're actually doing the things

that actually get you what you want.

Cause it's unrealistic expectation to expect to get a result without doing the

things that you've proven to that works. So every day ask, what worked,

what didn't work? And I have in the Breakthrough Experience program,

which is my signature program, 7 questions you want to ask yourself.

What is it I would absolutely love to do in life that I'm absolutely inspired to

do? How do I get handsome and beautifully paid to do it?

That's a gold mine, to be able to figure it out how to get paid to do it.

And I guarantee you,

there's nothing you could desire to do that you couldn't find a way of getting

paid for it.

I've helped lots and lots and lots of people get handsomely paid for doing

something they love to do. There is a way.

You just got to structure it in a way where people win out of it. Then,

what are the highest priority actions I can do today?

The seven highest priority actions I can do to make that happen.

And then what obstacles might I run into and how do I solve them in advance?

So I'm not all of a sudden broadsided by unexpected.

That's the difference between impulses and actually objectives and executive

function. Think things out with foresight,

think about the downsides that could occur and what to do to mitigate those and

now you're prepared and you have a higher probability of achieving it and more

discipline.

Because a lot of reasons why people are hesitating is because they have fear,

there's more drawbacks than benefits,

that's because they haven't thought out what those are and how to mitigate those

and neutralize those risks. And then ask yourself what worked,

and what didn't work today?

And then how do I do it more effectively and efficiently tomorrow?

And add that to my checklist of what worked and what didn't work today.

And then go through there and if I find out that I'm not doing those things on

the checklist that I found that worked, then I ask, which one is it? It's either

I need to go delegate it and get it off my plate because it's not really

meaningful or link it temporarily until I can delegate it. If I do that,

I increase the probability of getting the outcome. And the last question is,

how did whatever happen to me day today, how did it help me fulfill my mission?

Because anything you can't see as on the way, you'll see in the way,

and you'll accumulate as baggage and you become the victim of history,

not master of destiny.

So you want to make sure you go back and look at everything that's happened

throughout the day and how it helped you get what you want. But in the meantime,

if you go and prioritize your life and live by the highest priority,

your discipline will be spontaneous. People look at me and they go, 'well,

you're so disciplined. How did you read so much for so long?'

Because I can't wait to get up and learn.

'And how did you teach as many times as you do?' You know,

I've done 426 speeches in a year and 350 on average.

So people go 'That's insane,

how do you do that?' It's because it's what I love doing. I love sharing.

And you want to be able to do that because the people that put in the extra

hours and gain the momentum and get skilled and build momentum doing what they

love to do, they're the people that get ahead.

They're the ones that leave the mark. They're the ones that leave a legacy.

They're the ones that actually get the greatest skills and the greatest income

off it. So you want to build momentum doing what's really, truly meaningful,

the thing that wraps around what your identity is that you feel is your calling.

Remember your highest value is your ontological identity.

Your highest value is your teleological purpose.

Your highest value is where you're going to epistemologically learn the most.

Your highest value is where you're going to expand your space and time horizons

to give yourself permission to have the biggest vision.

Your highest value is where you're going to awaken your genius and creativity

and innovation and contribution the most.

Your highest value is where you're going to activate your executive center,

where you're going to have the most self-discipline and self-governance,

and be less passionately distracted by impulses and instincts of the external

world. Your highest value is where you're going to live an inspired life.

It's the key to the accessing of the transcendental state,

where you actually feel you're a celestial person looking back at the earth and

going, what do I want to do on earth today?

I'm getting ready to do a conference coming up overseas.

It's about inspired vision. And when people live by their highest value,

their expansion of their vision goes,

they literally activate the visual center and they see in their minds,

what they want to create. So if you live by the highest value,

you will automatically be a visionary, an unborrowed visionary.

But if you inject the values of others and subordinate, live by lower values,

you automatically lose the vision and perish,

instead of having a vision and flourish.

But then what happens is if you live by the highest priority,

you end up living in a sense, as a leader, you wake up your inspired leadership.

You end up building momentum. You end up extracting people, places, things,

ideas,

and events into your life to help you fulfill what's deeply meaningful to you.

Your highest value is the secret to meaning.

When Viktor Frankl says in Search for Meaning, that is the search of meaning,

because the meaning is basically the center between the pairs of opposites,

the virtue between the two vices as Aristotle said,

and the moment you're in your amygdala down below and live in lower priority

actions,

you automatically go off on these distractions of impulse and instinct and

pleasure and pain. And what happens you become infatuated,

resentful to things that occupy space and time in your mind and run you and

distract you, instead of being focused. But by living in the highest priority,

you stay focused. And I know that people hear that and they go, 'well, yeah,

I've heard that. I know that.' But if you're not doing it,

you really haven't heard it. But if you're doing it, you're working on it.

And it's the journey. It didn't start over in one day when I was 27 years old,

and now it's all off my back. I took about 18 months to start delegating things.

It took a while to get that, but slowly but surely,

I got the people to take care of the things that I didn't want to do.

And I noticed that I liberated myself each time and more creative, more freed,

more empowered, and you're now getting up and you're actually loving your life.

I believe that every symptom in your body is a feedback to get you authentic.

Every symptom in your business is a feedback to get you authentic.

And authentic means to express yourself in your highest value, from an inspired,

spontaneous state, doing what you love.

That to me is the self-actualized life that Maslow would describe,

that is the path of nirvana, mokshe, liberation,

the tao, whatever you want to call it, that's been the key throughout history.

Giving yourself permission to live by priority is one of the most significant

things you could do if you want to have a self-disciplined life. So, anyway,

that's my mechanism for today,

my presentation for the day on self-discipline and

ideas with you,

hopefully that will inspire you to go and do some delegation and prioritization.

Also, I just want to let you know that there's an upcoming master class called

Accessing Your 7 Greatest Powers.

And I want to make sure that you know that you can act also get when you sign up

for that. Now,

what this is going to do is how to empower all seven areas of your life,

according to your values.

So you can do what you love and empower all areas of your life.

Cause any area of your life you don't empower, people over power you.

And that's where the distractions come in. So to have a perpetual life,

a vivacious life, this Accessing Your 7 Greatest Powers, this masterclass,

you definitely want to attend. And also if you sign up now,

you'll actually receive a free gift,

which is Awakening Your Astronomical Vision.

And I am absolutely certain that video right there, that audio program,

pardon me, will automatically inspire you to go into expand your vision.

So listen to that about five times between now and the time of the masterclass,

and I'll see you there. Thanks for joining me today.

I'll see you next week and prioritize your life. Watch what happens.