Episode 12: Rethinking Relationships: Creativity and Connections

Discover how a personal relationship can inspire and fuel your creativity. Join Julie as she shares her personal journey and offers valuable insights on finding inspiration in unexpected places.

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1 Hi. So every episode I say, this is one of my 2 favorite stories and my favorite topics, but this is one that's really 3

close to my heart, because it's about the 4 heart. So I always tell 5

everybody that the universe picked my husband. 6 And it is. It's kind of 7

a joke, but it's not a joke, it's a real thing. So it's 8 a great story, and I'm going to tell that. But the first thing I want 9

to talk about is just kind of like, 10 why does the heart 11

relationships? What does that have to do with creativity? 12 So, if we go back to the original 13

episodes, we have two operating 14 systems. We have our thought processor in our head and we 15

have our thought generator, which is this whole idea of 16 living in the creative flow, this space, 17

this what I call the clear thinking channel, where there's 18 no judgment, there's just connection, and this connection to ideas, 19

there's connection to the flow and that 20 the thought processing system is kind of a broken system. It's based 21

on genetics, it's based on what. What's happened in your 22 lifetime. It's based on different levels of 23

PTSD, different things like that. And so 24 your thought processing system isn't ideal. And so 25

the whole idea is just to get out of your head, stop using 26 that, stop using all the triggers for crazy 27

feelings, for crazy ideas, thoughts, 28 spirals churning, things like that. 29

And to spend more time in this place where you're just moving 30 into the role of creator and you're just building this amazing 31

life. So when you start to look at it, and the last few 32 episodes have dealt with the idea that there 33

are things in our life that really trigger us and that we 34 get crazy emotions about it, whether it be death or grief 35

or your kids and stuff like that. Anyway, the 36 one thing that's just off the charts, absolutely off 37

the charts with emotions and chemicals and 38 all of that is physical 39

attraction and falling in love. And 40 we base everything on 41

physical attraction. So if you look at all the dating 42 apps, you know, you're just taking a picture, just a picture, and 43

you're judging and you're saying, do I feel a physical 44 attraction to this person? And the 45

whole system is broken because 46 all those variables can be manipulated. We can manipulate a 47

photograph, we can pick that look, 48 that moment in time when we're projecting something 49

and what we're projecting. And so the idea of 50 picking your potential partner, your 51

potential spouse, you know, on 52 a photograph, is just. It doesn't make sense. 53

And then when you start to look at what is. What are 54 the stages of love? You know, what are the stages 55

of? You know, so there's, you know, initial 56 love, there's all these endorphins and dopamine. 57

And I. You are completely distracted. You know, all you 58 do is think about this person all the time. It reaches 59

a level of almost insanity. And 60 then it becomes, after that, there's a 61

stages of, and there becomes uncertainty 62 after that. You start questioning, is it real? Is this real? Is, 63

you know, is this the right person? Is this the right fit? You start 64 judging everything that they're doing. You start, it just becomes 65

this. Like you get stuck in this, all this 66 dopamine endorphins, and then you get stuck in this 67

judgment area. And basically 68 it's not a good system. Okay? You look at 69

the statistics, and in 70 America, 40% to 50% of first time 71

marriages end in divorce. Second marriages, 72 the statistic goes up to 60% to 73

67% marriage. Second in marriages end in 74 divorce. So the whole idea that we 75

are picking based on physical 76 attraction is not the right metric to pick your 77

partner. It just isn't. And then you look at 78 arranged marriages in the US, and the divorce rate in 79

arranged marriages is 4%. So 80 now there are obviously other cultural factors. If 81

you're in a place where you have an arranged marriage, 82 then you obviously have this cultural bias to 83

staying together, to adapting, to making 84 this work. So it's not an 85

easy escape or easy divorce route. 86 So that can obviously affect the numbers. But the bottom line 87

is that picking your spouse based on your chemistry 88 and how you're releasing those endorphins and I, 89

those variables that go into that physical 90 attraction, everything is based on 91

procreating and survival of the species. So 92 for women, you're looking for that, you know, strong, confident 93

male that's going to give you strong, confident 94 children. And so it's. And then for, 95

you know, men, it's different. You're looking for, you know, on 96 a yemenite, very basic biological level, you're looking for 97

that person that's going to be a good mate and nurture your children and things 98 like that. So there's all these biases built into 99

it that just aren't a great way to pick your husband. So 100 the ideas that I want to throw out there are that we 101

stop listening to that and give that just part 102 of the measurement of should. 103

Should I be with this person or not be with this person? Don't base it 104 on the physical attraction. This rush 105

of, you know, chemicals that come that just may not be 106 real. It just is part of your processing. 107

And, you know, I told you about my ex husband, 108 and that I. So the one 109

theory that I knew was, if you were married to an alcoholic, you would 110 go and you would have, you know, marry an alcoholic the second 111

time, and then you would marry an alcoholic the third time. If 112 you were married to someone that stepped out of the marriage and they cheated 113

on you, then you would most likely go ahead and repeat that 114 pattern. And repeat the pattern, and you had this 115

bias to attracting those people that would 116 fit this. And you're always trying to, at some level, 117

trying to fix them, trying to control the situation. 118 You know, I did. I went through, like, divorce recovery. I went to see a 119

psychologist. I went through coda, codependent behavior, you know, 120 and just really started to understand, like, why I 121

picked the wrong person, and then how do I not pick the 122 wrong person again? How do I not fall into this 123

trap of trying to take 124 everything that I feel was not right in 125

my life and keep being drawn to those 126 things that are not right? So the whole idea was to 127

and then began to observe people that were stuck in these 128 patterns. So I have a really good friend. 129

If you look at the souls, like, if you actually 130 start to look at. And again, it's based on your religious beliefs, but if 131

you believe that we come back as souls, our souls come back. They have 132 this life journey. They have this path that souls 133

actually are drawn to each other, and that they kind of 134 run in packs. So, like, my daughter was 135

my mother in many past lives. This is the first time I've been her 136 mother. And then I have this really good friend that 137

the minute I met her, I was just drawn to her. Like, I 138 mean, in ways I cannot explain, but we're just, like, 139

drawn to each other. And I. And 140 physically and spiritually, too, were drawn to each other. And 141

so what her mo 142 is, is that her father 143

repeatedly cheated on her mother, and then he 144 ended up leaving the marriage, and 145

she is drawn to that energy in 146 Mendez. So 147

her ex husband, he cheated on her when they were 148 dating. He cheated on her throughout the marriage, and then 149

the final time that she just had enough when he was in 150 this other second relationship outside of the marriage, and 151

she finally separated from him. But when we go 152 out, and we go out, and she's always interested in 153

meeting Mendez when we go out, she will always. 154 You pick, if you look around the room and you 155

identify that guy that has this 156 projects this energy, projects this confidence, projects 157

this. Basically, I can have any woman, 158 any time energy. That's the only guy 159

she's attracted to. And she'll say, I can't kiss anybody else. I 160 can only kiss this guy. This is the only one I'm attracted to. 161

And it's so funny how her chemistry and her 162 programming will always draw her to that person that's going to hurt her 163

the most. And that she can't. She can't. When she's 164 in an actual healthy relationship or somebody that's not going to be 165

this way, there's always this really strong level of uncertainty 166 because it doesn't feel comfortable, it doesn't feel right, and 167

it doesn't feel like she should be there. 168 So, you know, for years now, I have been 169

telling her about this. I've been telling her about this program. I've been preaching to 170 her. You know, you're just in your head, you're operating from these, this 171

chemistry, you're operating from these patterns. You're just. It just. 172 Yes, it feels good, but it's just chemicals. This isn't really. 173

This isn't real. It's not a real thing. 174 That attraction, that draw is not a real thing. That there's 175

actually, when you get out of your head and you're in this space of, you 176 know, this, this thing that we don't understand, that it's bigger than us, that it's 177

a universal, you know, whether it be, 178 you know, this energy of love, God or 179

it's aliens or whatever it is, this thing that's beyond 180 us, that when you're operating from this place, that you're actually 181

drawing those people to you, you're going to attract those people, you're going to 182 attract the right person. Things are going to work for you. So 183

my story, let's get to my story. 184 So I went through this divorce. I went through 185

the divorce recovery, and I saw 186 people that were just five years after the divorce, they were 187

still suffering, really physically, 188 emotionally suffering, and I wasn't. 189

And I really started to pay attention. Why, 190 really, it was that I 191

knew I was supposed to have these amazing 192 children, and I knew that I had to have the right 193

partner to have these amazing children. And it had to 194 be somebody that was open to my path, 195

my journey, that I was all about healing and growth. I 196 was all about figuring this out, what we're figuring out, and what I'm going to 197

explain to you today, and that I wasn't going to 198 repeat what I'd experienced with my parents. 199

I wanted to. The whole experiment was that I wanted to 200 have a partner that could support, not bring the 201

dysfunction of the past into the present that was at least 202 aware of the impact of the dysfunction of parents can have on 203

children, and that we could have this relationship where we 204 could, like, this experiment where we could just give 205

the kids everything they needed to achieve their 206 greatness. And instead of, you know, 207

operating from the lowest level where you're shutting down everybody 208 around you and you're pulling everybody down to 209

the dysfunction that came into this lifetime. So I 210 needed somebody that would be on the same journey, the same path as 211

me, that I knew that I was going to be here today. I knew that 212 I was going to be talking today. I knew that everything that was happening to 213

me was happening for a purpose, and that I needed somebody that was 214 going to support this life purpose, this path, this 215

journey. And that's what I'm talking about in 216 this, is that the variables, the factors 217

should not be physical attraction and that chemistry, 218 because that's really just based on broken programming, 219

that it should be this kind of 220 soulmate theory, that this is somebody 221

that's, you're both going to help each other achieve what you're 222 supposed to, your path, your purpose, that this is 223

somebody that's going to nurture and help and support that. 224 And if you're going to have children together, that 225

it's going to be support that in your children. 226 So I had all these 227

things I was involved in. So, like I mentioned, this 228 was church that was all about healing and growth, 229

and not just spiritual healing and growth, because that's important, 230 but just physical healing and growth, how to be happier, how to 231

live a happier life, how to build this alignment. 232 And so I was really involved in it. And I'm like, I want 233

somebody that's open to 234 this. They don't have to be as crazy and believe 235

it and have a whole life built around it like I am, but somebody that's 236 not gonna be like, oh, just shut me down, 237

but just be supportive of, hey, I feel this is what I'm supposed to be 238 doing. This is the journey I'm supposed to be on. I'm supposed to have children. 239

I'm supposed to be doing this anyway, so 240 after my divorce, I started dating. It was 241

really interesting, because you 242 went through that, that excitement that somebody, 243

because my marriage was that it 244 ended, it didn't end 245

poorly. It just ended like, he was a hunter, 246 fisherman. And I put on the calendar every 247

day that he was gone. And it had been 22 days in a 248 row that he wasn't home. But there was also this feeling that 249

something else was going on, like he had developed another connection 250 or another relationship. There was something else going on, too, so 251

he just wasn't home. For 22 days, and finally I'm just like, 252 I'm done. I'm out of here. But he wasn't also in a place where 253

he could be a good father to children. I always knew that. And I'm like, 254 you know, he just didn't have that maturity, that awareness he 255

was bringing in the dysfunction that he'd experienced, and that was in his 256 family, so he wasn't the right guy, and I knew that. 257

And just this whole thing of not being home for 22 days 258 was just, you know, so he would come home after I'd gone 259

to bed, and it just didn't work. And so I was over it, 260 but I didn't. It was really nice when I first started dating 261

because it felt really good for someone to 262 want to spend time with you, you know, to be into you, to. 263

To, like, want to be with you. But those weren't 264 right either. As soon as you got over that part, that 265

initial euphoric, that initial dopamine, you 266 realize, oh, there's nothing there. There's nothing beyond that 267

feeling. There's no. There's no alignment. There's no 268 connection. And I was really, really searching for this person 269

that would help me on this journey, that's this person that would be interested 270 in this healing and growth journey, 271

this growth of, hey, can we be better in this lifetime? Can we be. 272 Can we just be better people? 273

So at the church, we were doing lots of these 274 book groups, a course in miracles 275

we did. And then there was this new book that came out, which was 276 the Celestine prophecy. And so 277

my girlfriend and I, the one that our parents from this church and 278 introduced me to it, she would do some of these books with 279

me, and I'm like, this is. 280 I want the type of guy that's open to this 281

and hoping I don't cry on this one. 282 So, anyway, so we would go, and 283

we didn't always go to church. We didn't, like. We weren't a, like, really 284 into it. We were just into the whole idea of healing and growth and these 285

books that would make us better. And there was a whole series of different books 286 we went through. So, anyway, so we would go to, like, borders, and 287

we go to, like, the book signings and book groups and book clubs 288 and, you know, thinking that, you know, my thing was, 289

well, maybe I'll meet somebody that's interested in this. 290 So. And every time we went there, 291

all the guys that were interested in this, all the guys that were 292 open to this were all gay. Like, everybody was gay. 293

There were no straight, normal guys that went, that were 294 interested in this and you're like, why is 295

this just, women want to be better? Why don't men want to be better 296 too? Why aren't they open to it? And you go to church and it's all 297

women and you're like, and then a handful of gay 298 guys and you're like, why? Why do you have to have be 299

this way to be open to it? Why aren't normal guys? But this is back, 300 you know, eighties, nineties, 301

early nineties. And guys just, that's not what they 302 did. They weren't supposed to be like that, I think. So anyway, so at 303

the same time, you know, I had, I had, you know, I told 304 you, I started this job where I got my first marketing job where I was 305

half marketing and half sales at this company. A note from our 306 sponsor, me and my 307

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working in an environment like I talk about on my video 310 podcast appeals to you and 311

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your creative potential as a creative, 316 we can help. Go to advancreative.com and talk 317

to us. And 318 I started there. And I started there before I 319

was married. So I was engaged to my husband, 320 my first husband. And so we were planning on 321

getting married. And the 322 first week I met my current husband 323

and he was married too, and 324 he knew it, 325

so I 326 was getting married. Sorry. I was getting 327

married and I went through this two years with this guy that was just 328 every day I come in with these stories like, oh my God, can you believe 329

this happened? Anyway, and then he also was married. 330 And his 331

wife, it was, I don't know, 332 maybe a year after I started working there, 333

he got a call from the bank, from his wife and 334 I. He was three months behind on his mortgage and his 335

wife handled all their finances and turned 336 out that she had put everything 337

they own up her nose and 338 he immediately just severed that relationship. He kicked 339

her out. So we were really good friends 340 and we ate lunch together every day. And we had this young, 341

you know, we were all like twenties, early thirties, 342 and we had this group of people at work and we'd go out on Friday 343

nights and we would go out on weekends and there's just this group of 344 friends and we would just hang out and we ate lunch together every day. 345

And it was just became really good friends. So I supported him 346 through his. Through this break, this 347

breakup that he had. And we just 348 were friends, you know, really, really good friends. 349

And he. And then he 350 supported me through my divorce, you 351

know. And again, we were really good friends. And we used to go out all 352 the time as a group of people. And then one 353

day he made a pass at me, and I was actually, at that 354 time, seeing someone else, but it was so fresh from my divorce, I was a 355

little embarrassed. So I didn't tell anybody I was seeing anybody else. So I kind 356 of really shut him down, you know? And this is back in 357

the day, when you make a pass at somebody, you know, you don't do that 358 now. You ask permission. But. And I 359

shut him down, but not because I was shutting him down, because I was actually 360 involved in another relationship. So it was so funny. So 361

we still continued to go out. We can still continued, you know, and I 362 dated different people, and he dated different people, but the 363

whole time, then I knew that there was something there, but I 364 never really thought anything about it. 365

So back to 366 this book. So we were doing this book, we were reading 367

this book, and it was called the Celestine prophecy, and it was all 368 about elevating your vibration. 369

Like, and it's. It was 370 really interesting because it talked about 371

energy. Like we're all energy, but we're all 372 vibrating at these different frequencies. And 373

as you reach this 374 level of healing, which is basically just getting out of your head 375

and operating from this place, you start vibrating at a 376 higher frequency. And anyway, it's like this metaphor, like all 377

these inca people, but it was really talking about 378 that, you know, people that are really struggling, people that are 379

really suffering in a place of really suffering, they're vibrating at this 380 very, very low frequency. And as you, you know, 381

get out of that space of suffering, and you start to vibrate at a 382 higher frequency and a higher frequency and a higher. And it was really interesting. It 383

was a really interesting book, and it was about measuring your growth based 384 on this energy level, this vibration, 385

and and then at the end of it, this weird things, probably 386 aliens or something, but you actually basically vibrate out of 387

the universe. It's really strange book. At the end, the end lost you. 388 But this whole idea that there's this level of vibration and that people can 389

be at this and you're attracting people. So as you're moving, 390 you know, the negative, the sufferings attracting this level of 391

vibration, and you're pulling everything to you. And then 392 as you start to elevate this by getting out of your head, you start 393

vibrating, you know, at these other levels, and you're attracting all this, and 394 then you're starting to attract the good and. And you're starting to attract more and 395

more and more. And it just. It. It's a really interesting theory 396 that. So it's like, it's positive energy. So the negative 397

energy attracts the negative energy, neutral energy 398 attracts neutral energy, and then really positive energy attracts really 399

positive stuff. And then amazing things start to happen when you're at this. Like, it's 400 just crazy. So anyways, so this book was called the celestine prophecy, and it 401

really resonated with me because I'm like, hey, that is a nice 402 measurement about how well you're doing. You know, is this. 403

This whole, how positive are you? What's your energy? Like, 404 what are you doing? What are you putting out there? What is this level of 405

vibration? And are you attracting all the good stuff to you, 406 or are you attracting all the things that you don't really want? And so it 407

was a really cool theory. I'm like, wow, this is great. 408 My girlfriend and I went to the book signing at borders and met all the 409

gay guys, and it was very disappointing. So 410 I'm like, I want a guy that wants this, 411

that's interested. So 412 one night we were all out as a group from 413

work, and I never went back to Greg's 414 house because he had lots of cats. 415

He was a cat guy and he had a dog. And I was 416 highly, absolutely, totally allergic 417

to everything. So I never went to his 418 house. But one night after work, you know, we've 419

been out with a group, and then I think he drove or something, but there's 420 a reason I came over to his house and I forget what it was, but 421

it wasn't a. There wasn't anything there. It was just, I happened to 422 be, 423

and I walked in. Sorry, 424 sorry. It's really emotional. Cause it's so cool 425

on his coffee table, it's his book. 426 And I'm like. I'm like, 427

oh, my God, this? You're reading this? I'm like, we are so into 428 this right now. We're just like, it just. It's a great way of measuring, 429

you know, health and growth. And he goes, yeah. He goes, I was just drawn 430 to it. I just. I just. I just got this 431

book. I don't know, I'm drawn to it, like, oh, my 432 God. So the first 433

day. Sorry. Really emotional. 434 So the first day 435

he met me, he knew, but I was like, oh, my 436 God, he's not my type. You know, he had a beard, and I hated 437

facial hair. He looked like Kenny loggins. And I thought that was like. 438 Like, you just grow it a little bit longer and you look like Jesus. And, 439

no, no, no, no. So I hated facial hair. I hated, you know, I 440 hated he, you know, anyway, there was just so many things physically about 441

him that I'm like, no, this is not my guy. And. But he 442 knew from the very first date I was going into a marriage. He was in 443

a marriage. He knew from the very first day he met me. And 444 anyway, so still, I'm like, oh, my gosh. I can't 445

believe it. You're reading this book, and he's like, yes. And, you know, so then 446 we started talking about the things that I didn't. I talked to my girlfriend 447

about, but I never. I never talked to a guy about 448 it, you know, about this. This healing and growth and becoming better 449

and not repeating the past and just. Just growing, growing, 450 growing. And he was all open to it. He was so open to it. He 451

was so open to everything. So we became more than friends. 452 And the 453

very first cycle, the very first egg, I 454 was pregnant, and it was the same 455

birth control I used all through my marriage. For years, I'd 456 use the same birth control. And there's absolutely no. 457

There's no physical reason why that 458 happened other than, I say, the universe 459

said, this is the guy you're marrying. So we got married four months 460 later. I was just barely showing. And 461

it has been. I didn't pick him. The universe picked 462 him. And it's been the most 463

absolute amazing journey. And 464 he. All my craziness, 465

I'm like, this is what I want to do. This is how I want to 466 do it. I want to put our life out there. I want to make us 467

public. I believe these stories I'm supposed to be telling people. This 468 is what I'm supposed to be doing. This is it. Everything 469

about us is going to be public. And he's like, go for it. 470 Like, he supports me. Everything I've ever done, 471

he supported me. And so 472 our pickers are broken. 473

That, and I call it a picker. 474 How we pick our partner, the 475

way we pick people, is not. That is not the way we should do it. 476 And that we should find these other variables, which are 477

the energy measure the energy measure the vibration 478 measure the movement and energy. It is fine. 479

And my husband is onion boy, okay? My husband. And when we 480 go through his stories. Oh, my gosh, you think my stories are 481

crazy? You should hear his stories. This 482 guy is absolute onion boy. And 483

he never had any therapy. He never got anything that he 484 needed. Sorry, I went to blow. My nose is dripping a little bit. He 485

never got any therapy. He never got any. He. 486 You know, and I'll have him tell his stories, but basically, his father 487

was an alcoholic, and all the nastiness and horribleness that came 488 with that. And 489

he's onion boy, but he is grown. 490 He's amazing. He's been the most 491

amazing father to nurture our children. He's mostly most 492 amazing partner. And we. 493

It is the most beautiful thing. So I had 494 these going back. I had this vision of what 495

I wanted in a husband, and it's really funny. 496 So, on my mother's 497

side, I've 498 told you about my mother. She said her parents weren't very nice. And 499

all the things that came from my mother, 500 it's just dripping. It's a little teary here. So all 501

the things that came from my mother were how to keep your man in 502 control. You know, always keep money on 503

the side. Don't let the left hand know what the right hand's doing. You know, 504 really, basically, how to control your man, how to control the 505

money. Everything was like, really, like these really negative 506 rules. And it was never. It never felt like there should be this 507

loving relationship. And my mother was never happy. 508 And so I never. Until later in life. 509

She was happy later in life, but basically, it never 510 felt like a good marriage. It felt 511

like she always felt like. It always felt like she was in the wrong place, 512 that my dad forced her to have children, and her job was to 513

take care of the children. And there was never this balance and this 514 equality and this support of each other. But on my father's 515

side, 516 his father absolutely loved and adored his 517

mother. He would sit on the couch next to her 518 and just hold her hand, and he was so 519

happy. Like, he was just so happy being with her, being in her 520 presence. And I hated it because she really took 521

advantage of it. She always had, like, you know, she was always not well, 522 and he always had to do everything, and he had to make the meals, and 523

we'd come over, and he'd have to make something, and he'd have to take care 524 of us, and, you know, and he would be the host. He'd 525

be everything, and she would just sit on the couch, and. But 526 he loved and adored her. And, you know, 527

I always said, I never want to be rich, I never want to be famous, 528 but that's what I want, and that's what I have. And 529

it's so amazing, and it's so beautiful. And 530 when you, and especially once we did three principles, because, 531

so the three principles is all about getting out of your head. And what 532 you find is all those reasons that 533

make it unacceptable in a marriage, they all disappear. So all the 534 things that annoy you about them, they just disappear. They're just ideas and thoughts that 535

you're churning over. And so you get past all of that, and then you start 536 to build this really deep connection, and then you start doing things for 537

each other that are so beautiful and so wonderful. So let me 538 tell you about what this looks like when you get to the next level. 539

So if you're on the video, you can see I've got my brown shirt on 540 today. So you start doing things that 541

are beyond just the normal, 542 doing things to be nice to each other. So my daughter 543

played basketball, and 544 I didn't know anything about sports, especially not 545

american sports, but having a child that played soccer, I under 546 learned the rules to soccer, and then she played basketball, and I learned the 547

rules to basketball. And then, like I said, she graduated with twelve RC letters. So 548 we learned a lot of sports, but she never played football, so 549

I never understood football, but I knew that if I 550 watched the game enough, I could, I could understand it. 551

I could understand what was going on and I could learn it 552 just like I learned basketball from all the rules, just watching the 553

game. So one of the gifts that I gave my husband was, 554 he absolutely loves the Browns, he loves football, but I couldn't tolerate it in the 555

house, because every game, it's like, 556 it's a very dysfunctional relationship. Being a Browns fan is, 557

you know, halfway during the, you know, you have all this hope and optimism, and 558 then halfway during the season, the team would start to break down and 559

let you down, and then it would all be this. My husband would go to 560 his lowest level and start, you know, cursing at them and be 561

disappointed with them. And it felt like his lifetime, everything experienced with 562 his parents was coming out towards the Browns. It was very, 563

very, very not emotionally intelligent, his approach 564 to the Browns. So, anyway, but I'm like, you know, he 565

absolutely is passionate about this, absolutely loves it, and I want to be part of 566 it. I would always send him out of the house with his friends, 567

whatever, because I couldn't tolerate this 568 rollercoaster of emotions in the house and the negativity, especially around the 569

children and the language, and just, it was awful. 570 So I'd send him out, but I would watch him and 571

I would learn the game, and I learned the game and I learned everything about 572 it. And then I became, I knew, because once I knew I knew 573

it, I know I would have a passion for it, like I had for basketball 574 and like some of the other sports that I, once I understood it, then you 575

could develop this passion for it. So I 576 learned the game and I learned the Browns, and I learned everything. And then I 577

kind of said, hey, this is my gift, but if you 578 want to watch the Browns with me, you have to show up with emotional 579

intelligence. I am not allowing you to go down this road. And 580 he's been really good. He won't get there. And he starts to go there. I'm 581

like, you're going to have to leave the house if you're going to show up 582 like that, but this is going to be the year. So in the playoffs today, 583

so I've got my brown shirt on and it's just really exciting because 584 for Browns fans, it's been a long journey to get here, and I just know 585

they're going to do great. And even if they don't do great this year, they're 586 going to be amazing next year when everybody's healthy, so, 587

and then my gift, so, so that's it. I 588 learned to do something that he loved, and I think 589

that's where you start to see relationships reach a whole new level 590 where you can actually enjoy each other's passions. And then 591

my gift to him this year was he loved ipas, and 592 I just could not tolerate IPA's beer. 593

I just, you know, I'm in English, you know, just give me english 594 beers, I'm good. So I know it 595

takes, so it takes three days to get off sugar, 596 believe it or not, three days. And it takes two weeks to change your taste 597

bud. But, so if you don't like vegetables, just eat 598 vegetables for two weeks, the same vegetable every for two weeks, and 599

you will, your taste buds will adapt and you will start loving 600 it. So easy to get on a healthy diet anyway, 601

so I knew that if I drank ipas for a week, 602 two weeks, my taste buds will change and I will be able 603

to tolerate and enjoy ipas with him. So 604 I did that. That was my gift to him last year, was 605

I will change my taste buds so that I can 606 enjoy the same things you enjoy. And then we developed this whole, 607

like, craft brewery because that became a thing around here. We've got like 608 twelve craft, craft breweries within 3 miles. And 609

so we would, I'm exaggerating, it's probably only eight, 610 but we'd go and we'd do beer and 611

brainstorming. So we would go on a Sunday afternoon and 612 we'd have, you know, flight of ipas and we'd 613

do brainstorming for the podcast, for this podcast. 614 And it included him. He was a part of it. We had so much 615

fun. It was really enjoyable. We're always 616 happy together, we're always love each other's 617

company, and it is absolutely possible 618 to have that type of relationship. And so I'm 619

just putting it out there that maybe 620 choosing based on physical attraction is 621

not the right metric, that there are so many 622 other factors that you can find alignment, and you can 623

find that partner that's going to be that person that 624 is supporting you on your real path, 625

your true journey. And so 626 I hope to start 627

a matchmaking service. So my goal 628 is to figure this out and to have this 629

matchmaking service that is based on these other 630 variables, that we find a way to measure this, we find a way 631

to quantify it, and then we find a way to match people 632 that we are the arranged marriages of 633

this century, and that we are doing things in a 634 completely different way than anybody 635

else's. And we're looking at variables that no one's ever 636 looked at. And we're looking at how to 637

align your path, your 638 goals, with the perfect person to support 639

that. So it's a completely 640 different model. And it's something that I want to do 641

in my lifetime is to come up with this. And so 642 that's really the end of this podcast, which 643

is there's a better way to do this, and I want to kind of 644 spearhead that. And that's a business I'd like to develop. 645

So thank you for listening, and 646 thank you for spending time with me today. And I hope if you're 647

not in that relationship, that this has helped you 648 see that it's absolutely possible. Thank you.