Welcome to Episode 12!

In this episode, Julie dives into heartfelt stories and reflections on love, connection, and the power of the heart.

A Story Close to the Heart

• Julie opens up about how the universe led her to her husband—a story she cherishes and feels was meant to be.
• This episode explores why the heart is so central to our sense of purpose and connection.

The Power of the Heart

• She reflects on the heart’s role, not just as an organ but as an emotional and spiritual center.
• The heart, according to Julie, guides us in ways that the mind can’t, making it essential in our relationships and life choices.

Embracing Synchronicity

• Julie shares insights on following the heart's synchronicities—those "meant-to-be" moments that seem guided by something greater.
• It’s about recognizing and trusting those signs that lead us to the right people and experiences.

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Hi. So every episode I say, this is one of my favorite stories and my favorite topics, but this is one that's really close to my heart, because it's about the heart. So I always tell

everybody that the universe picked my husband. And it is. It's kind of

a joke, but it's not a joke, it's a real thing. So it's a great story, and I'm going to tell that. But the first thing I want

to talk about is just kind of like, why does the heart relationships? What does that have to do with creativity? So, if we go back to the original episodes, we have two operating systems. We have our thought processor in our head and we have our thought generator, which is this whole idea of living in the creative flow, this space, this what I call the clear thinking channel, where there's no judgment, there's just connection, and this connection to ideas, there's connection to the flow and that the thought processing system is kind of a broken system. It's based

on genetics, it's based on what. What's happened in your lifetime. It's based on different levels of

PTSD, different things like that. And so your thought processing system isn't ideal. And so

the whole idea is just to get out of your head, stop using that, stop using all the triggers for crazy feelings, for crazy ideas, thoughts, spirals churning, things like that. And to spend more time in this place where you're just moving into the role of creator and you're just building this amazing life. So when you start to look at it, and the last few

episodes have dealt with the idea that there are things in our life that really trigger us and that we get crazy emotions about it, whether it be death or grief or your kids and stuff like that. Anyway, the one thing that's just off the charts, absolutely off the charts with emotions and chemicals and all of that is physical attraction and falling in love. And

we base everything on physical attraction. So if you look at all the dating apps, you know, you're just taking a picture, just a picture, and you're judging and you're saying, do I feel a physical attraction to this person? And the whole system is broken because all those variables can be manipulated. We can manipulate a

photograph, we can pick that look, that moment in time when we're projecting something and what we're projecting. And so the idea of picking your potential partner, your potential spouse, you know, on a photograph, is just. It doesn't make sense.

And then when you start to look at what is. What are the stages of love? You know, what are the stages of? You know, so there's, you know, initial love, there's all these endorphins and dopamine.

And I. You are completely distracted. You know, all you

do is think about this person all the time. It reaches a level of almost insanity. And

then it becomes, after that, there's a stages of, and there becomes uncertainty after that. You start questioning, is it real? Is this real? Is, you know, is this the right person? Is this the right fit? You start judging everything that they're doing. You start, it just becomes

this. Like you get stuck in this, all this dopamine endorphins, and then you get stuck in this judgment area. And basically

it's not a good system. Okay? You look at the statistics, and in America, 40% to 50% of first time marriages end in divorce. Second marriages,

the statistic goes up to 60% to 67% marriage. Second in marriages end in divorce. So the whole idea that we

are picking based on physical attraction is not the right metric to pick your partner. It just isn't. And then you look at

arranged marriages in the US, and the divorce rate in arranged marriages is 4%. So now there are obviously other cultural factors. If

you're in a place where you have an arranged marriage, then you obviously have this cultural bias to staying together, to adapting, to making this work. So it's not an easy escape or easy divorce route.

So that can obviously affect the numbers. But the bottom line is that picking your spouse based on your chemistry and how you're releasing those endorphins and I, those variables that go into that physical attraction, everything is based on procreating and survival of the species. So

for women, you're looking for that, you know, strong, confident male that's going to give you strong, confident children. And so it's. And then for,

you know, men, it's different. You're looking for, you know, on a yemenite, very basic biological level, you're looking for that person that's going to be a good mate and nurture your children and things like that. So there's all these biases built into

it that just aren't a great way to pick your husband. So the ideas that I want to throw out there are that we stop listening to that and give that just part of the measurement of should.

Should I be with this person or not be with this person? Don't base it on the physical attraction. This rush of, you know, chemicals that come that just may not be real. It just is part of your processing.

And, you know, I told you about my ex husband, and that I. So the one theory that I knew was, if you were married to an alcoholic, you would go and you would have, you know, marry an alcoholic the second time, and then you would marry an alcoholic the third time. If

you were married to someone that stepped out of the marriage and they cheated on you, then you would most likely go ahead and repeat that pattern. And repeat the pattern, and you had this bias to attracting those people that would fit this. And you're always trying to, at some level,

trying to fix them, trying to control the situation. You know, I did. I went through, like, divorce recovery. I went to see a

psychologist. I went through coda, codependent behavior, you know, and just really started to understand, like, why I picked the wrong person, and then how do I not pick the wrong person again? How do I not fall into this trap of trying to take everything that I feel was not right in my life and keep being drawn to those things that are not right? So the whole idea was to and then began to observe people that were stuck in these patterns. So I have a really good friend.

If you look at the souls, like, if you actually start to look at. And again, it's based on your religious beliefs, but if you believe that we come back as souls, our souls come back. They have

this life journey. They have this path that souls actually are drawn to each other, and that they kind of run in packs. So, like, my daughter was

my mother in many past lives. This is the first time I've been her mother. And then I have this really good friend that

the minute I met her, I was just drawn to her. Like, I mean, in ways I cannot explain, but we're just, like, drawn to each other. And I. And

physically and spiritually, too, were drawn to each other. And so what her mo is, is that her father repeatedly cheated on her mother, and then he ended up leaving the marriage, and she is drawn to that energy in Mendez. So

her ex husband, he cheated on her when they were dating. He cheated on her throughout the marriage, and then the final time that she just had enough when he was in this other second relationship outside of the marriage, and she finally separated from him. But when we go

out, and we go out, and she's always interested in meeting Mendez when we go out, she will always. You pick, if you look around the room and you identify that guy that has this projects this energy, projects this confidence, projects this. Basically, I can have any woman,

any time energy. That's the only guy she's attracted to. And she'll say, I can't kiss anybody else. I

can only kiss this guy. This is the only one I'm attracted to.

And it's so funny how her chemistry and her programming will always draw her to that person that's going to hurt her the most. And that she can't. She can't. When she's

in an actual healthy relationship or somebody that's not going to be this way, there's always this really strong level of uncertainty because it doesn't feel comfortable, it doesn't feel right, and it doesn't feel like she should be there. So, you know, for years now, I have been telling her about this. I've been telling her about this program. I've been preaching to

her. You know, you're just in your head, you're operating from these, this chemistry, you're operating from these patterns. You're just. It just.

Yes, it feels good, but it's just chemicals. This isn't really.

This isn't real. It's not a real thing.

That attraction, that draw is not a real thing. That there's actually, when you get out of your head and you're in this space of, you know, this, this thing that we don't understand, that it's bigger than us, that it's a universal, you know, whether it be, you know, this energy of love, God or it's aliens or whatever it is, this thing that's beyond us, that when you're operating from this place, that you're actually drawing those people to you, you're going to attract those people, you're going to attract the right person. Things are going to work for you. So

my story, let's get to my story. So I went through this divorce. I went through

the divorce recovery, and I saw people that were just five years after the divorce, they were still suffering, really physically, emotionally suffering, and I wasn't. And I really started to pay attention. Why,

really, it was that I knew I was supposed to have these amazing children, and I knew that I had to have the right partner to have these amazing children. And it had to be somebody that was open to my path, my journey, that I was all about healing and growth. I

was all about figuring this out, what we're figuring out, and what I'm going to explain to you today, and that I wasn't going to repeat what I'd experienced with my parents. I wanted to. The whole experiment was that I wanted to

have a partner that could support, not bring the dysfunction of the past into the present that was at least aware of the impact of the dysfunction of parents can have on children, and that we could have this relationship where we could, like, this experiment where we could just give the kids everything they needed to achieve their greatness. And instead of, you know, operating from the lowest level where you're shutting down everybody around you and you're pulling everybody down to the dysfunction that came into this lifetime. So I

needed somebody that would be on the same journey, the same path as me, that I knew that I was going to be here today. I knew that I was going to be talking today. I knew that everything that was happening to

me was happening for a purpose, and that I needed somebody that was going to support this life purpose, this path, this journey. And that's what I'm talking about in this, is that the variables, the factors should not be physical attraction and that chemistry, because that's really just based on broken programming, that it should be this kind of soulmate theory, that this is somebody that's, you're both going to help each other achieve what you're supposed to, your path, your purpose, that this is somebody that's going to nurture and help and support that.

And if you're going to have children together, that it's going to be support that in your children. So I had all these things I was involved in. So, like I mentioned, this

was church that was all about healing and growth, and not just spiritual healing and growth, because that's important, but just physical healing and growth, how to be happier, how to live a happier life, how to build this alignment. And so I was really involved in it. And I'm like, I want

somebody that's open to this. They don't have to be as crazy and believe it and have a whole life built around it like I am, but somebody that's not gonna be like, oh, just shut me down, but just be supportive of, hey, I feel this is what I'm supposed to be doing. This is the journey I'm supposed to be on. I'm supposed to have children.

I'm supposed to be doing this anyway, so after my divorce, I started dating. It was really interesting, because you went through that, that excitement that somebody, because my marriage was that it ended, it didn't end poorly. It just ended like, he was a hunter,

fisherman. And I put on the calendar every day that he was gone. And it had been 22 days in a

row that he wasn't home. But there was also this feeling that something else was going on, like he had developed another connection or another relationship. There was something else going on, too, so

he just wasn't home. For 22 days, and finally I'm just like, I'm done. I'm out of here. But he wasn't also in a place where

he could be a good father to children. I always knew that. And I'm like,

you know, he just didn't have that maturity, that awareness he was bringing in the dysfunction that he'd experienced, and that was in his family, so he wasn't the right guy, and I knew that. And just this whole thing of not being home for 22 days was just, you know, so he would come home after I'd gone to bed, and it just didn't work. And so I was over it,

but I didn't. It was really nice when I first started dating because it felt really good for someone to want to spend time with you, you know, to be into you, to.

To, like, want to be with you. But those weren't right either. As soon as you got over that part, that

initial euphoric, that initial dopamine, you realize, oh, there's nothing there. There's nothing beyond that feeling. There's no. There's no alignment. There's no

connection. And I was really, really searching for this person that would help me on this journey, that's this person that would be interested in this healing and growth journey, this growth of, hey, can we be better in this lifetime? Can we be.

Can we just be better people? So at the church, we were doing lots of these book groups, a course in miracles we did. And then there was this new book that came out, which was the Celestine prophecy. And so

my girlfriend and I, the one that our parents from this church and introduced me to it, she would do some of these books with me, and I'm like, this is. I want the type of guy that's open to this and hoping I don't cry on this one.

So, anyway, so we would go, and we didn't always go to church. We didn't, like. We weren't a, like, really

into it. We were just into the whole idea of healing and growth and these books that would make us better. And there was a whole series of different books

we went through. So, anyway, so we would go to, like, borders, and we go to, like, the book signings and book groups and book clubs and, you know, thinking that, you know, my thing was, well, maybe I'll meet somebody that's interested in this.

So. And every time we went there, all the guys that were interested in this, all the guys that were open to this were all gay. Like, everybody was gay.

There were no straight, normal guys that went, that were interested in this and you're like, why is this just, women want to be better? Why don't men want to be better too? Why aren't they open to it? And you go to church and it's all women and you're like, and then a handful of gay guys and you're like, why? Why do you have to have be this way to be open to it? Why aren't normal guys? But this is back, you know, eighties, nineties, early nineties. And guys just, that's not what they did. They weren't supposed to be like that, I think. So anyway, so at

the same time, you know, I had, I had, you know, I told you, I started this job where I got my first marketing job where I was half marketing and half sales at this company. A note from our sponsor, me and my amazing business and team advancreative.

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I started there. And I started there before I was married. So I was engaged to my husband,

my first husband. And so we were planning on getting married. And the

first week I met my current husband and he was married too, and he knew it, so I was getting married. Sorry. I was getting

married and I went through this two years with this guy that was just every day I come in with these stories like, oh my God, can you believe this happened? Anyway, and then he also was married. And his wife, it was, I don't know, maybe a year after I started working there, he got a call from the bank, from his wife and I. He was three months behind on his mortgage and his

wife handled all their finances and turned out that she had put everything they own up her nose and he immediately just severed that relationship. He kicked her out. So we were really good friends

and we ate lunch together every day. And we had this young, you know, we were all like twenties, early thirties, and we had this group of people at work and we'd go out on Friday nights and we would go out on weekends and there's just this group of friends and we would just hang out and we ate lunch together every day.

And it was just became really good friends. So I supported him through his. Through this break, this

breakup that he had. And we just were friends, you know, really, really good friends.

And he. And then he supported me through my divorce, you know. And again, we were really good friends. And we used to go out all

the time as a group of people. And then one day he made a pass at me, and I was actually, at that time, seeing someone else, but it was so fresh from my divorce, I was a little embarrassed. So I didn't tell anybody I was seeing anybody else. So I kind

of really shut him down, you know? And this is back in the day, when you make a pass at somebody, you know, you don't do that now. You ask permission. But. And I

shut him down, but not because I was shutting him down, because I was actually involved in another relationship. So it was so funny. So

we still continued to go out. We can still continued, you know, and I dated different people, and he dated different people, but the whole time, then I knew that there was something there, but I never really thought anything about it.

So back to this book. So we were doing this book, we were reading this book, and it was called the Celestine prophecy, and it was all about elevating your vibration.

Like, and it's. It was really interesting because it talked about energy. Like we're all energy, but we're all

vibrating at these different frequencies. And as you reach this level of healing, which is basically just getting out of your head and operating from this place, you start vibrating at a higher frequency. And anyway, it's like this metaphor, like all

these inca people, but it was really talking about that, you know, people that are really struggling, people that are really suffering in a place of really suffering, they're vibrating at this very, very low frequency. And as you, you know, get out of that space of suffering, and you start to vibrate at a higher frequency and a higher frequency and a higher. And it was really interesting. It

was a really interesting book, and it was about measuring your growth based on this energy level, this vibration, and and then at the end of it, this weird things, probably aliens or something, but you actually basically vibrate out of the universe. It's really strange book. At the end, the end lost you.

But this whole idea that there's this level of vibration and that people can be at this and you're attracting people. So as you're moving, you know, the negative, the sufferings attracting this level of vibration, and you're pulling everything to you. And then

as you start to elevate this by getting out of your head, you start vibrating, you know, at these other levels, and you're attracting all this, and then you're starting to attract the good and. And you're starting to attract more and more and more. And it just. It. It's a really interesting theory

that. So it's like, it's positive energy. So the negative

energy attracts the negative energy, neutral energy attracts neutral energy, and then really positive energy attracts really positive stuff. And then amazing things start to happen when you're at this. Like, it's

just crazy. So anyways, so this book was called the celestine prophecy, and it really resonated with me because I'm like, hey, that is a nice measurement about how well you're doing. You know, is this.

This whole, how positive are you? What's your energy? Like, what are you doing? What are you putting out there? What is this level of vibration? And are you attracting all the good stuff to you, or are you attracting all the things that you don't really want? And so it was a really cool theory. I'm like, wow, this is great.

My girlfriend and I went to the book signing at borders and met all the gay guys, and it was very disappointing. So I'm like, I want a guy that wants this, that's interested. So

one night we were all out as a group from work, and I never went back to Greg's house because he had lots of cats. He was a cat guy and he had a dog. And I was

highly, absolutely, totally allergic to everything. So I never went to his house. But one night after work, you know, we've

been out with a group, and then I think he drove or something, but there's a reason I came over to his house and I forget what it was, but it wasn't a. There wasn't anything there. It was just, I happened to

be, and I walked in. Sorry, sorry. It's really emotional. Cause it's so cool

on his coffee table, it's his book. And I'm like. I'm like,

oh, my God, this? You're reading this? I'm like, we are so into this right now. We're just like, it just. It's a great way of measuring,

you know, health and growth. And he goes, yeah. He goes, I was just drawn

to it. I just. I just. I just got this

book. I don't know, I'm drawn to it, like, oh, my God. So the first

day. Sorry. Really emotional.

So the first day he met me, he knew, but I was like, oh, my God, he's not my type. You know, he had a beard, and I hated facial hair. He looked like Kenny loggins. And I thought that was like.

Like, you just grow it a little bit longer and you look like Jesus. And, no, no, no, no. So I hated facial hair. I hated, you know, I

hated he, you know, anyway, there was just so many things physically about him that I'm like, no, this is not my guy. And. But he

knew from the very first date I was going into a marriage. He was in a marriage. He knew from the very first day he met me. And

anyway, so still, I'm like, oh, my gosh. I can't believe it. You're reading this book, and he's like, yes. And, you know, so then

we started talking about the things that I didn't. I talked to my girlfriend about, but I never. I never talked to a guy about

it, you know, about this. This healing and growth and becoming better and not repeating the past and just. Just growing, growing,

growing. And he was all open to it. He was so open to it. He

was so open to everything. So we became more than friends.

And the very first cycle, the very first egg, I was pregnant, and it was the same birth control I used all through my marriage. For years, I'd use the same birth control. And there's absolutely no.

There's no physical reason why that happened other than, I say, the universe said, this is the guy you're marrying. So we got married four months later. I was just barely showing. And

it has been. I didn't pick him. The universe picked

him. And it's been the most absolute amazing journey. And

he. All my craziness, I'm like, this is what I want to do. This is how I want to

do it. I want to put our life out there. I want to make us

public. I believe these stories I'm supposed to be telling people. This

is what I'm supposed to be doing. This is it. Everything

about us is going to be public. And he's like, go for it.

Like, he supports me. Everything I've ever done, he supported me. And so

our pickers are broken. That, and I call it a picker.

How we pick our partner, the way we pick people, is not. That is not the way we should do it.

And that we should find these other variables, which are the energy measure the energy measure the vibration measure the movement and energy. It is fine.

And my husband is onion boy, okay? My husband. And when we go through his stories. Oh, my gosh, you think my stories are

crazy? You should hear his stories. This guy is absolute onion boy. And

he never had any therapy. He never got anything that he needed. Sorry, I went to blow. My nose is dripping a little bit. He

never got any therapy. He never got any. He.

You know, and I'll have him tell his stories, but basically, his father was an alcoholic, and all the nastiness and horribleness that came with that. And he's onion boy, but he is grown.

He's amazing. He's been the most amazing father to nurture our children. He's mostly most

amazing partner. And we.

It is the most beautiful thing. So I had these going back. I had this vision of what

I wanted in a husband, and it's really funny. So, on my mother's side, I've told you about my mother. She said her parents weren't very nice. And

all the things that came from my mother, it's just dripping. It's a little teary here. So all

the things that came from my mother were how to keep your man in control. You know, always keep money on the side. Don't let the left hand know what the right hand's doing. You know,

really, basically, how to control your man, how to control the money. Everything was like, really, like these really negative rules. And it was never. It never felt like there should be this

loving relationship. And my mother was never happy.

And so I never. Until later in life.

She was happy later in life, but basically, it never felt like a good marriage. It felt like she always felt like. It always felt like she was in the wrong place,

that my dad forced her to have children, and her job was to take care of the children. And there was never this balance and this equality and this support of each other. But on my father's

side, his father absolutely loved and adored his mother. He would sit on the couch next to her and just hold her hand, and he was so happy. Like, he was just so happy being with her, being in her

presence. And I hated it because she really took advantage of it. She always had, like, you know, she was always not well,

and he always had to do everything, and he had to make the meals, and we'd come over, and he'd have to make something, and he'd have to take care of us, and, you know, and he would be the host. He'd be everything, and she would just sit on the couch, and. But

he loved and adored her. And, you know, I always said, I never want to be rich, I never want to be famous, but that's what I want, and that's what I have. And

it's so amazing, and it's so beautiful. And when you, and especially once we did three principles, because, so the three principles is all about getting out of your head. And what

you find is all those reasons that make it unacceptable in a marriage, they all disappear. So all the things that annoy you about them, they just disappear. They're just ideas and thoughts that

you're churning over. And so you get past all of that, and then you start to build this really deep connection, and then you start doing things for each other that are so beautiful and so wonderful. So let me

tell you about what this looks like when you get to the next level. So if you're on the video, you can see I've got my brown shirt on today. So you start doing things that

are beyond just the normal, doing things to be nice to each other. So my daughter played basketball, and I didn't know anything about sports, especially not american sports, but having a child that played soccer, I under learned the rules to soccer, and then she played basketball, and I learned the rules to basketball. And then, like I said, she graduated with twelve RC letters. So

we learned a lot of sports, but she never played football, so I never understood football, but I knew that if I watched the game enough, I could, I could understand it. I could understand what was going on and I could learn it just like I learned basketball from all the rules, just watching the game. So one of the gifts that I gave my husband was,

he absolutely loves the Browns, he loves football, but I couldn't tolerate it in the house, because every game, it's like, it's a very dysfunctional relationship. Being a Browns fan is, you know, halfway during the, you know, you have all this hope and optimism, and then halfway during the season, the team would start to break down and let you down, and then it would all be this. My husband would go to

his lowest level and start, you know, cursing at them and be disappointed with them. And it felt like his lifetime, everything experienced with his parents was coming out towards the Browns. It was very,

very, very not emotionally intelligent, his approach to the Browns. So, anyway, but I'm like, you know, he absolutely is passionate about this, absolutely loves it, and I want to be part of it. I would always send him out of the house with his friends,

whatever, because I couldn't tolerate this rollercoaster of emotions in the house and the negativity, especially around the children and the language, and just, it was awful. So I'd send him out, but I would watch him and I would learn the game, and I learned the game and I learned everything about it. And then I became, I knew, because once I knew I knew

it, I know I would have a passion for it, like I had for basketball and like some of the other sports that I, once I understood it, then you could develop this passion for it. So I learned the game and I learned the Browns, and I learned everything. And then I

kind of said, hey, this is my gift, but if you want to watch the Browns with me, you have to show up with emotional intelligence. I am not allowing you to go down this road. And

he's been really good. He won't get there. And he starts to go there. I'm

like, you're going to have to leave the house if you're going to show up like that, but this is going to be the year. So in the playoffs today, so I've got my brown shirt on and it's just really exciting because for Browns fans, it's been a long journey to get here, and I just know they're going to do great. And even if they don't do great this year, they're

going to be amazing next year when everybody's healthy, so, and then my gift, so, so that's it. I learned to do something that he loved, and I think that's where you start to see relationships reach a whole new level where you can actually enjoy each other's passions. And then

my gift to him this year was he loved ipas, and I just could not tolerate IPA's beer. I just, you know, I'm in English, you know, just give me english beers, I'm good. So I know it

takes, so it takes three days to get off sugar, believe it or not, three days. And it takes two weeks to change your taste bud. But, so if you don't like vegetables, just eat

vegetables for two weeks, the same vegetable every for two weeks, and you will, your taste buds will adapt and you will start loving it. So easy to get on a healthy diet anyway, so I knew that if I drank ipas for a week, two weeks, my taste buds will change and I will be able to tolerate and enjoy ipas with him. So

I did that. That was my gift to him last year, was I will change my taste buds so that I can enjoy the same things you enjoy. And then we developed this whole,

like, craft brewery because that became a thing around here. We've got like twelve craft, craft breweries within 3 miles. And

so we would, I'm exaggerating, it's probably only eight, but we'd go and we'd do beer and brainstorming. So we would go on a Sunday afternoon and we'd have, you know, flight of ipas and we'd do brainstorming for the podcast, for this podcast.

And it included him. He was a part of it. We had so much

fun. It was really enjoyable. We're always

happy together, we're always love each other's company, and it is absolutely possible to have that type of relationship. And so I'm just putting it out there that maybe choosing based on physical attraction is not the right metric, that there are so many other factors that you can find alignment, and you can find that partner that's going to be that person that is supporting you on your real path, your true journey. And so

I hope to start a matchmaking service. So my goal is to figure this out and to have this matchmaking service that is based on these other variables, that we find a way to measure this, we find a way to quantify it, and then we find a way to match people that we are the arranged marriages of this century, and that we are doing things in a completely different way than anybody else's. And we're looking at variables that no one's ever

looked at. And we're looking at how to align your path, your goals, with the perfect person to support that. So it's a completely

different model. And it's something that I want to do in my lifetime is to come up with this. And so

that's really the end of this podcast, which is there's a better way to do this, and I want to kind of spearhead that. And that's a business I'd like to develop.

So thank you for listening, and thank you for spending time with me today. And I hope if you're not in that relationship, that this has helped you see that it's absolutely possible. Thank you.