Artwork for podcast Squad Car 22
Squad Car 22 - Trailer/ Mini-Episode - Take out Tony
Trailer2nd December 2019 • Squad Car 22 • Deep Drag
00:00:00 00:05:14

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Wondering if Squad Car 22 is better than gum-flavored popsicles? Then listen to this trailer/ mini-episode and decide for yourself. Squad Car 22 is a sci-fi, comedy, audio-drama available for free. This episode stars Nathan Feuerberg and Martin James Grapengeter with narration by Lady Zen.

Listen to other audio dramas by Deep Drag at deepdrag.com

Transcripts

Speaker:

[Holloway] Hmm, Mario's Pizzeria, I don't recall that being there.

Speaker:

I wonder if they do tiramisu.

Speaker:

[Holloway] Anybody home?

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[Campari] [Laughs] [Holloway] Are you are you open?

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[Campari] Who's a askin'?

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[Holloway] Me, Officer Holloway.

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[Campari] [Laughs] [Holloway] Hey, hold up.

Speaker:

Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?

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Are you a Campari bottle that can speak?

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[Campari] That's a right.

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You got a problem with that?

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[Holloway] Can you sell me a piece of tiramisu?

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[Campari] I don't see why not.

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We're open for business, if you know what I mean.

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[Holloway] Well, I guess I'm cool with it then.

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[Campari] But come on, tiramisu is for softies.

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How about I get you something with a little more forte.

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Something a little more hardcore.

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[Lasagna] Hardcore!

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[Holloway] Wait, who else is in here?

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[Campari] Oh, that's just Lasagna.

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Don't worry about him.

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[Holloway] Hmm.

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[Campari] What if I were to tell you I had some vitello al parmigiano?

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[Holloway] Is that Italian for veal parmesan.

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[Campari] That's a right.

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[Holloway] Man back when I was a kid I used to love parmesan hoagies.

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But these days you can't even talk about baby cows on a bun.

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[Campari] Oh yeah. [Laughs] Vitello so silky and smooth on the tongue.

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Not rough like the beef.

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[Holloway] I don't know.

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If anyone at the precinct found out, I never hear the end of it.

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[Campari] Do we look like the type to go around running our mouths?

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[Holloway] You look like the types who wouldn't mind clubbing a baby seal.

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[Campari] We're a nice guys.

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We're, how do you say, Goodfellas.

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[Holloway] Well I didn't mean to...

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[Campari] Look, look, if that's what your into I guess we could arrange it.

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[Holloway] No, no, I'm fine with with a parmesan sandwich and a piece of tiramisu.

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[Campari] Well, for an extra twenty dollars, we'll bring in a baby veal and give it you

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a mallet to bludgeon it with.

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[Holloway] Thanks but I'm the type of guy who likes his dinner prepackaged in plastic

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wrap.

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[Campari] You don't have to lie.

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We're all friends here.

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[Holloway] No, really I can't even crack open raw oysters.

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[Campari] Oh come on, there's nothing like pounding the head of a little, baby, vitello

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with a big shiny hammer.

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It's an exquisite experience

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[Lasagna] Exquisite!

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[Holloway] Hmm, maybe it's better if I just leave.

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[Campari] Just hold on.

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Hey!

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Tony!

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Come in here!

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[Tony] [Tony runs in. The bell around his neck rings.]

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[Campari] This is Tony.

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Only six weeks old.

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Tony turn around.

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Let the nice copper have a look at you.

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[Tony] [Tony runs around, bell ringing.]

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[Campari] That's a good vitello.

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Now roll over.

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[Tony] [Tony moos] [Campari] Come on Tony.

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Roll over for the policeman.

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[Holloway] Okay guys, I'm just gonna take a tiramisu and go.

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[Campari] Are we going to have a problem?

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[Holloway] No, no, it's just like I said.

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You know, I appreciate a distance between me and my meals.

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[Tony] [Tony moos] [Campari] Shut up and pick up the mallet!

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[Lasagna] Pick it up!

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[Holloway] Okay, okay!

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[Campari] Now give Tony a good whop on his soft, little, head.

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[Holloway] I really don't...

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[Campari] Shut up and do it already!

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[Tony] [Tony moos excitedly]

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[Campari] Take out Tony.

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Take out Tony.

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Take out Tony.

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[Holloway] Sorry, Tony...

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[Tony] [Tony moos] [Music Crescendos]

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[Narrator] Squad car 22 is a sci-fi, comedy, audio-drama.

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Listened to the first season for free on Spotify, iTunes, Podcast Addict, YouTube, and any other

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podcast app.

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Squad Car 22 is part of the deep drag podcast family.

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[Campari] Look at the shiny watch moving back and forth in front of your eyes.

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You will forget you ever met a talking Lasagna and Campari bottle.

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[Holloway] Are you trying to hypnotize me?

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[Campari] Yes.