Do you have trouble overcoming the voices in your head saying that you are not good enough? Are they telling you something else that is downright negative? In this episode, we examine the importance of having confidence, the 2nd value of the business that our podcast host has started, and how changing the inputs into our minds can be a game-changer for making strides in the right direction. Creating the right script, and thinking about the relationships (covered in Episode 3) can start to help you in your personal and professional attitude for the future.

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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

determination, all converge into an amazing, heartfelt experience.

This is Speaking From The Heart.

Welcome back to episode number five of Speaking From the Heart.

Today we're going to talk about confidence, the ability to overcome

the lack of confidence or even the overly confident not only just in the

physical, but also the mental, and this covers the second value in which

I started my business on in order to help individuals realize their true

potential by unlocking their hidden voice.

Confidence can be a little bit of a cliffhanger, and

you really have two options.

You can be overly confident, which other people will say you are too cocky.

Then there is also the other side of it in which you might be viewed as

underconfident or having a lack of confidence, and it can be very troubling

to hear that sort of statement, especially if you are trying to

become a person that wants to be able to overcome the physical and mental

challenges that might lie before you.

I have to say that in this type of situation that I'm in, that I always

am trying to build the best version of myself as I work with others, I often

hear confidence is holding us back, from a multitude of different types

of things that we want to accomplish, whether those are the things that we

are setting ourselves out to become, or what we are trying to be down the road.

I'm talking the long term, whether that's one year, five years, 10 years down the

road, and a lot of people get hung up and even in just the first few months because

they're uncertain about the ability to project that level of confidence

that is needed within themselves.

If we're all going to have a conversation about confidence, we

have to talk about what are some of the underlying factors that might be

bothering someone as part of this.

Every time that I hear the word confidence, I think about the

possibilities of what that might mean, so it always has a future tense to it.

For many of you, you might have a different definition of what that

confidence is and might be something that's happening right at that

moment, but you're still thinking about it no matter what it is, which

is activating the brain and how it processes that type of information.

Whether it is about the confidence that you're trying to show or what you

are trying to share with someone else, and that's always a difficult thing,

especially with the types of individuals that you might be working with.

It might even be some of the type of challenges or responses that you're going

to receive, whether that is somebody from your family or it's your boss that's

asking for different types of demands.

The most important thing to do, however, to ensure that those sort

of things are covered in the most atypical way is to break it down.

What are the things that are actually causing you to feel

that way in the first place?

For me, confidence has always been a struggle.

As a child, I knew that many people did not appreciate what I looked like.

I was a chubby kid, having to go through the vast difficulties of

being picked on, teased, ridiculed for the lunch options that I chose,

I decided to do the one thing that would forever change my life, not eat.

Now, I don't know if I would be claiming myself to be an anorexic, which I'm not

saying that at all, and I definitely appreciate those listening to this show

that are going through such a struggle, but I realize that if I could remove

the factor that was causing all that teasing in the first place, I would be

able to feel a lot better about myself.

I, in other words, I wouldn't have that become a factor for consideration for some

of the bullies, some of the intimidators, even my own personal viewpoint about

myself, which at that point in my life, I felt very despondent, very alone.

A lot of people do have to go through those sort of challenges, and I

definitely encourage those that have been lifelong sufferers to seek out

the professional help that's needed.

In my business with dealing with these sort of situations, that might be

the precursor to having confidence.

It's all about breaking down what are the elements that cause

that issue in the first place?

It's not easy, and each person's story is unique in their own way.

Many of the people that I have worked with have different types of different

aspects that cause them to rationalize in different ways, and that's really

important to consider that each time that we think about this sort of

thought process, whether it is something that we're lacking confidence of or

overconfidence in, we always have to understand why it is what it is.

Why is it creating some of those issues that we are having in the first place?

If we can get to the heart of it, everything will change for the better.

Confidence is not something that you easily find in anybody, and sometimes

that means establishing a level of trust in which you're able to communicate and

share different types of information.

As a podcast host, I have to say that it is very difficult for me to

even articulate the very important matters that I wanna share with you

because that means putting trust in an audience that I have never seen before.

Often that is concluded to be what's called imposter syndrome; having that

ridicule factor in the back of your brain telling you every time, "you're

not good enough", "you're not gonna be able to do this", "you're never

going to succeed", "your voice sounds terrible", "you don't have great ideas".

These thoughts are ridiculous.

Those are the things that are in our lives that are always judging.

There doesn't have to be anybody physically in front of us to have that

sort of manifestation happening all the time, and that's why confidence

is often the most difficult of topics to discuss with someone because

that voice changes all the time.

All kinds of different situations have different inputs.

They all have different outputs in which they create different factors.

As somebody that has struggled with being able to project that

level of confidence, I'm always taking the guessing game out of it.

I'm trying to take it, analyze it, and put it back into reality as to

if that is really what's happening, and that is what is so difficult

for many people to address, and I can understand and rationalize with

you completely, and it takes time.

It's not something that happens overnight where you think magically as you get

up one morning, I'm going to be extra confident today walking outta the house,

greeting my significant other and the kids, and being able to walk out the door,

go about your day, interacting with the dozens, maybe even hundreds of people

that you interact with on your travels, whether that's by car, by subway, whether

that is by airplane for those lucky few.

I know that for many of us, even in the times that we have now passed the COVID

19 pandemic, many of us were suffering at home with that lack of confidence

not being able to extend our voice to somebody else, to be able to share what

was really important on our minds, because that level of communication wasn't as

much connectivity as it was with having a already established relationship where

someone might be struggling, someone might be having a hard time, somebody

might not even know that you're suffering.

Every day, we always have a choice as to what level of confidence that

we want to project, and I know that for many of us, we have to think

about what the ramifications are if we act on some of those confidence

levels that we need to portray.

If we're able to take the confidence that we want to have and understand it in

the framework of where we're interacting with, that can create so many different

types of relationships, which in episode three I talked quite a lot about how

we can build those personal connections and be able to provide opportunities

through them if we're willing to open up where those relationships

are foundationally stabilizing in.

If you are able to have a good relationship with someone, the

confidence comes along with it.

Now, I know what you're asking me right now, my fellow listeners.

Josh, that sounds great; I have great relationships with people already.

The confidence is not a problem; what I struggle with is with the people that

are in front of me, the people that don't know me, the people that have no

idea what I've been through in my life.

How can I ever project confidence to somebody that might be judging me,

that might be causing me to make me feel like I'm insecure, maybe even

judging me and being cocky with the level of confidence that I have?

It's all about understanding and doing your homework.

Having a social script in which you're able to rely on so that you can develop

that sort of information for yourself and others is a great tool to be able

to work with someone and build the foundational exercises in which you

rehearse and provide clear cut responses.

Through the business, I do a lot of interview preparation and being able to

provide individuals that can create value through all the different things that

they are getting ready for when it comes to a panel of individuals judging them on

their qualifications, and it's all about just being able to understand and fulfill

what is involved with those practices.

Now, those practices can be very tough.

They also can create a lot of different things for us that might

be troubling, it might be hardships, it might be something that we have

to just get ready to feel comfortable about being uncomfortable with others.

But isn't that what we're trying to do?

Aren't we just providing confidence through the meticulous practice, over and

over and over again, creating that value within ourselves, knowing that we can

build and overcome the challenges if we just have the knowledge and the skillsets?

What would it look like if we were able to showcase the best versions

of ourselves by pursuing the things that we really are passionate about?

The aspirations by overcoming some of the physical and mental challenges because

we absolutely enjoy what we're doing.

It's all about finding the passion.

Passion does not always equate to confidence, but it is a great stepping

stone for anybody that is struggling and might have had some chronic frustrations

as it relates to having confidence to start from a solid ground and build

themselves up to an ability where they are feeling loved, they are feeling

accepted, and they are feeling what that connection is with others that

they've been so desperately looking for.

It's not easy to start in that process, and it means thinking about

the things that might be struggling with you in the first place.

They might be struggling with how you are handling those sort of situations,

and as long as you're willing to practice with someone that you trust, or you

are able to practice for yourself with the acceptance of knowing that it's

going to be awkward and uncomfortable a few times, that is making progress.

Confidence does not have to be a overly complicated formula

that many people make it to be.

It takes repetition, it makes perfection happen in many different

forms and many different ways.

I know that for many of you out there that might be listening to this, you

might be thinking about where some of those areas are in your life.

Inward reflection is one of the first things that you should be

doing in order to create that value, but take it a step further.

Work with someone that's able to look at you objectively and say, these

are the things that I think you can do to help you take it to the next

level, with your level of confidence.

If you're able to do that, you're able to create a few things for yourself.

Not only does it help you with your personal relationships by combining some

of the things that might been struggles with many different combinations of

people that you have loved over the years, whether that is your mother,

your father, your significant other, maybe even siblings, but it helps

you in the professional realm because now you have a basis in which you

can create that value for others.

You can create that value in which you're sharing those unique experiences

where you're able to train and cultivate the relationships that you desperately

want to have in the workplace, and maybe even with that next customer or

in that next sales lead that you have.

If you're able to do that, you are going to be shown as a warrior of confidence.

You're going to have a feeling of euphoria inside of you, knowing that no matter

what, you will be accepted, but you also have to put the brakes on when you

know that it might be a little too much.

When people are starting to look at you and saying, "is that really

the person that I got to know?"

Authenticity in confidence is something that we will talk about

in future episodes, but for now, I will share with you this hint.

If you are able to be your authentic self by examining where are some of

those barriers that you're putting up in front of you, not only are you going

to only be creating some value for not only yourself, but you're also going

to be helping others to see the best version of yourself and the best version

of the world that you want to live in.

It's not just all about propaganda.

It's not all just about the things that we're interacting with in this world.

It's about the ways in which we are transforming ourselves on a daily

basis, and if you can use confidence to take that next step forward,

relationships can help you bring out the very best in you in that field.

Nothing is impossible if you believe in the confidence

that you have yet to unlock.

Thanks for listening to episode five of Speaking From the Heart,

and I look forward to hearing from your heart very soon.

Thanks for listening.

For more information about our podcast and future shows, search for Speaking From

The Heart to subscribe and be notified wherever you listen to your podcasts.

Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz for more information about potential

services that can help you create the best version of yourself.