We are in a mental health pandemic. Do you struggle with asking for help? How do you know what is the right type of helping resource for you? How do you overcome personal and systemic barriers to seeking mental health care? What characteristics do you look for in a therapist? In this episode, Dr. Diana Hill and Dr. Nicole Siegfried take the mystery and the stigma out of mental health care. Diana shares skills to practice the vulnerability of asking for help despite emotions that may come up.  

Related Resources

Get enhanced show notes for this episode

• Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's on-demand course, "Foundations of ACT."

Diana's Events

• Reserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2025!
• See Diana at an upcoming event

Connecting With Diana

• Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
• Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.
• Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.
• Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.
• Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.
• Leave feedback for the show

Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

We can put our energy where it matters most and savor the good along the way.

How do you know when you need a therapist and what are some

What should you look for when it comes to finding a therapist?

And when should you seek a higher level of care?

That's what I'm going to talk about today with Dr.

Nicole Siegfried on Your Life in Process.

As a therapist, sometimes I need to refer clients to a higher level of care.

And until now it's been difficult to find programs that are evidence-based

And that's why I'm so excited to be sponsored by Lightfully Behavioral

mental health treatment, providing high quality evidence-based programming

Compassionately.

They treat wide variety of diagnoses, including mood disorders, anxiety

health organizations that is built around process-based therapy, which is a

The company's seasoned.

All female executive team brings over 70 years of experience and

For more information, go visit lightfully.com

Hi, this is Diana.

And this podcast is about living well, living psychologically flexible,

And I think a lot of us right now are feeling far from thriving.

We're mentally exhausted as we've been sustaining a heightened degree

This pandemic has been.

Incredibly challenging.

There was a New York times article that came out recently

. Asking therapists about some of the common reasons why people are coming

forefront of people's minds and one in four therapists said that suicidal

In general folks reported that they're feeling stuck and stagnant

the wait-lists are full and they themselves have been impacted by the

So if you're experiencing mental health problems right now, I just want

And today I get a chance to talk with Nicole Siegfried, who is

She's a licensed clinical psychologist and serves as an Adjunct Assistant

And she's worked in mental health for over 20 years and has

Nicole believes that recovery is possible for all individuals

In this conversation, we talk a lot about some of the reasons

especially when you need it most.

And we go through some of the characteristics of what

You may be surprised by some of them.

And then go on to talk about some different treatment options.

And stay tuned to the other side of this conversation with Nicole,

Just a reminder with your daily practice, you can get a download of a PDF

if you go to the show notes and click on the link there, every single episode has

so that you can build these processes, these psychological processes into your

So I'll see you on the other side with that and enjoy my

Take two with Nicole Sigfried we, we tried to record this a week ago and we both

Yes.

Which is neither of us is boring.

So, um, we want to talk about this in a much more relatable way that people

I think that sometimes therapy and the idea of therapy

And so I think we had those hats on and we were trying to explain these

And what I'm hoping that we can do today is take a macro level, look

How do you know, if you need to go to therapy in the first place, and then

And how do you know if you need more than So that's sort of big picture.

Uh, but before we do that, I wanted to ask you a question that you asked me

And I think it's because I just love your program so much, but you sent out

And then you can ask me, ask me mine.

But one of them was what is your walk-on song?

And another one was what was your first job?

So I'm curious about that for you, Nicole.

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

Oh, those are both good.

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

Well, so my walkup song, you and I were talking about this earlier that

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

And so if I'm thinking about.

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

Seeing a client or I'm doing clinical work.

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

My walkup song for that is going to be something much more compassionate

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

And so for that, I, what comes to me, which I feel in my heart is one of

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

And I think that song just really exemplifies this idea of.

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

How things are around us are very beautiful.

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

If we take the time to take them in, um, I myself have trouble with that at

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

And, and so it's a good reminder to me of taking a breath before session

And when you told that to me at first, you were worried

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, because it's hard.

I think I have to sometimes keep this in check.

I am really optimistic person, but sometimes, you know, when you're in

pain, it's hard to be in the presence of someone that, um, has a lot of hope

And so I always want to be able to balance.

Being hopeful because I have hope for each client that sits before me and being

So, um, I wanted, I want the song to kind of put me in that

And it's interesting because some of the research on

So you want a therapist that's hopeful and also for you to have hope for the

And we can talk more about that, but, so, and then what was your first.

It's so funny that you asked this because.

It's embarrassing.

Well, mine's really embarrassing.

We just talked about this on one of our team calls.

And so my first job was as a dancer singer in a theme park, um, sort

So that was my first job.

So it's, it was an unusual.

Yeah.

And then usually one, it probably says something about you

So you're the clinical, you're the Chief Clinical Officer.

Yeah.

You know, large treatment, uh, behavioral health program lightly, and

yes.

There you go.

Well, Yeah.

for sure.

Those two questions, uh, sort of like a

the.

Yeah.

My walk-on song and actually learned, just

Cause my kid plays baseball and they actually this.

They actually play a song while they go out onto the field

And it's kind of to pump you up and remind you in some ways what

And.

The one that I sent you was about compassion.

And it's a great song called Compassion by Luicinda Williams,

But the song that actually just came to me as you were speaking, is a

And it's a chant and in the chant, Twameva she chants to the mother, the father, the

And I, when I think about therapy, I think about therapy as being so

the room between me and my client and a lot more about just this huge,

And I feel like, especially right now, we need, we need all those people right now.

We need our mother or sister or friend, everybody involved in

Yes.

Yes.

Um, yes.

In fact, I mean, it's the, we talk about the COVID pandemic,

And.

For many reasons.

Um, our mental health is in the worst place that it's been as

Um, and so one of the things that's really interesting about that is that

So, I think like in 2018, 2019, that the three, let me think of this.

Right?

The three main causes of death for young adults were what some people have referred

And so that was kind of leading up to the pandemic.

And then the pandemic was sort of a flame that ignited those things into somewhat

And people much smarter than I am.

If you have dug into, like, what are all of the reasons for that?

What has, what has led up to that?

What has gotten us where we are in.

In my mind.

I just think of it very simply as, um, it's simply that we're in pain,

And that by itself wouldn't be a problem.

Wouldn't be problematic, but it's the way that we deal with that pain.

That's getting us in trouble.

And when we look back.

, where we are just in the evolutionary process, you know, our ancestors

And that's, what's been passed down generation to generation.

Although that's good.

It makes great problem solvers.

It's not exactly helpful in tenderly holding our emotional pain.

It's almost as though we were having, uh, a collision of sorts of where our.

Advancements in our cognitive abilities.

Our problem solving abilities are really, , interfering with our ability to thrive.

I heard Steve Hayes and he has this wonderful

And I'll put it in the show notes where he was speaking to a large

And in it, he said that psychopathology is energy misdirected, and that

to connect and belong yearnings to feel good, but we get narrowed in

And that's what I think we're finding right now is that many people are

And in a lot of ways, like how do you, how do you cope with this?

But we actually really need to be able to do is to adapt.

We need to be able to have cognitive flexibility and self-compassion and find

But what we tend to do is to kind of silo off and do sort of these old ways

it's addictions or isolation or it's other types of experiential avoidance that just

And I know that for myself, because certainly I've seen that.

During the pandemic, I've seen my own mental health kind of decline.

And really probably at its Nadir point was summer 2020, like, like many people.

And it's interesting because I, I reached out to some therapists, friends asking

And what would they think would be, you know, suggestions for

And one of them responded back just by saying.

I just think you're lucky if you can find a therapist at this point,

So there's like the barriers to treatment to getting treatment.

And then there's also just the barriers of access to treatment.

In particular, certain groups have a lot less access to therapy and

Absolutely.

I love what you said about this idea of our core yearnings and that

And I think about that too.

I, I love the way that Steve Hayes describes it.

And, and when I think about, um, sort of how we got there, It's it's this idea

with the evolutionary history of where we are emotionally, because

And that was evolutionarily, adaptive so much so that, like, we just

That is just really at the heart of being human.

Connect with others.

And what makes sense to me is that that has been thwarted in many

And then, like you said, we try to then, um, cope with that or

Um, in other situations in terms of like problem solving or thinking it through,

And where it really catches up with us is, like you said, when

I mean, so if we think about it, in terms of our ancestors, those ancestors

part of a support group, we're much more likely to survive because there

And so we really, um, you know, that those skills, I suppose, have been passed down.

Been thwarted a lot by just our society, but also by COVID.

But then when we try to go and ask for help and to seek treatment,

And the way we get tripped up, we get in our heads and we say things

Or you should, um, be able to think this through or, um, just don't think

I think another one is, is what will people think.

Like, what, what will people think if I ask, if I say this is really how,

actually that, you know, we, we, we lie as, as a, as a species.

We lie all the time, every day we're, we're lying.

And actually there's some research that shows.

Our lying, prevents, um, real sort of connection between our

Cause we don't want to know, and we lie to ourselves, but I know, you know,

ups and downs over the course of my life and my own mental health, that's

And I know that for my clients too.

I mean, I, I know that every session that I'm in, there's

And actually I have a good, um, therapist, friend, Meg McKelly that

What is it that you felt like couldn't say because we even lie to our therapists.

Even if we can get to therapy, we don't tell the truth.

And that's part of our, our, our, again, that like that yearning, gone wrong

And what if people saw like really how I really am doing, which I

Folks are not doing well it's, , we've been bombarded for, you know, we're

And people are exhausted.

We've been hypervigilant for a long time.

We're tired of being hypervigilant.

Our lives have been kind of sent sideways.

The ways that we connect, we can't connect our travel plans, our vacations, our, um,

Um, or really having a, holding a lot of the impact and it's tiring

I think that one of the other things that is so scary

Being able to connect to your therapist or to really open up into, to say the thing

Is that not only are you afraid?

Like what are they going to think?

But what if they can't hold it?

What if they don't really, they still can't see you.

They don't.

Yeah, they can't validate what you've gone through.

And so I know personally that is something that is a fear of mine.

Um, you know, in my own therapy.

It's, it's so isolating to hold on to things, but it's even more isolating

And that, that is it's just vulnerable and it's risky.

And so in seeking therapy, that is.

That's like the, you know, the, the biggest risk you can take, because

Oh, my gosh, you just hit the nail on the head.

I, in my reach out to therapists, I also reached out to a friend of mine.

Who's been in therapy for a long time and asked her about like what

And I asked her what, you know, what are the signs of a good therapist?

And she sent me actually the signs of when to run from her therapist.

And one of those, one of those.

When you say something to a therapist and they cringe or

And for her she's she struggles with, um, she struggled with postpartum depression.

And there's a lot of things that show up when you have postpartum depression

Like, I feel like I could harm my baby.

I have worries about that.

Or I feel like I can't take care of my baby or I feel like I don't love my baby.

Right.

And what if you were to tell that to someone and they can't hold.

And I think that's where a psychological flexibility on the part of the therapist,

Like you need to have a therapist that can stay with you, be present

And if you're someone that is supporting another person,

It looks scared, but like say, okay, you know, here we are.

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

I can hold your pain.

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

And sometimes when, when we're talking about emotional pain, it feels too

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

Cause if you then say you, you reach out and you risk trying to share it with

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

I mean, the damage that that can do just feels irreparable, um, or I

Dr. Nicole Siegfried:

a therapist to be able to hold that, but just we as human human to human

Hi folks.

I want to tell you about a few live events that I'm offering

I'm going to be at insight LA on February 11th, online

If you are a mental health practitioner, join me at PESI for their Body Image

And then finally, I'm offering a workshop with Praxis, continuing

So you can join me there.

You can check these all out on my event page at Drdianahill.com.

So let's talk a bit about, like, how do you know if you should seek therapy

I mean, that's a lot of times we say like, oh my gosh, my sister needs a therapist

Um,

someone else in doing it?

And then how do you know if you need it or someone.

Well, first of all, one of the things

The majority of people who are really struggling and who need therapy, the

And that is so discouraging to me because we know that early intervention.

Can is really key in trying to create a life of well-being a life worth living.

And so that time, it just feels like last time.

Um, and so I always want to be able to talk to people to say, if you're

That's your indicator.

If you're having to have the discussion with yourself, that is your indicator.

My husband and I are both psychologists.

And so we joke all the time that our kids are either really well adjusted

, but they, they both are, they wouldn't mind me sharing this.

They both have been in therapy and after they went, they said, This everyone

And what a world we would live in, if that were the case, you know, um, more

even more so, so my first, um, thing I would say to people is if you ask

Then the answer is probably yes, and we all can benefit from it.

And in many ways, , there are times when our struggle, , it becomes at

Uh, necessity is it is a true necessity to seek treatment.

And that's when your symptoms really start to interfere with the life that you want.

And I know that, that I, I, you know, I think about how long I've sought

And I've thought about it just even in thinking about this

I got help.

And how long, how many times I talked myself out of it and with really,

And, um, how many times I really wish I would have gone sooner.

And so, um, when you really feel like it's interfering with your life and the

And in some ways that's as simple answer.

And our approach to therapy is so

You know, it used to be sort of like either you have the diagnosis or you've

But I think that therapy now is a much broader umbrella where it certainly can

you're struggling with severe depression or anxiety, that's interfering with

And, and it's really narrowing your life.

Then you need to have treatment that, that you, you, you don't do this on your own

Right.

And so, and getting an evaluation and getting treatment that matches.

What, what you're struggling with.

So evidence-based approaches and there are, there is a difference between

that will, that will target your specific struggles and the goal isn't

But really the goal is about how to live a fulfilling life and

And I would say that is the goal of all therapy, really to help humans flourish.

And what does it mean to flourish for you in your.

Which is why I'm super excited about, you know, these process-based

And that act is one of them of looking at the underlying processes to living well.

And what, what are the processes have changed that.

Really promote our optimal wellbeing.

And then what are the processes that we get entangled in that keep us stuck?

And those very same processes are probably going to be the ones that

So that's kind of interesting, right?

It's sort of like that, monster is in your, in your head sort of

And just talking to you, I'm thinking about this sort of

the ways that we were talking before of how we've evolved as humans to be these

And so you're setting up all of these diagnoses and symptoms and these

checklistsand trying to identify an underlying disease really falls into that.

And I think misses the, um, misses the point of emotional

And so.

I agree with you.

I think what's beautiful about the process based approaches is instead

checklists, it looks more at what are the processes that you're

And what are some processes that you can engage in that

Absolutely.

And there's now some cool emerging research behind it.

So, uh, Steven Hayes, who's one of the co-founders of act and Stephan Hoffman

death star from star wars where it's going to like, have like this big

I think it was like 55,000.

Research studies and looked at what is it in therapy when somebody is changing,

And those are the processes.

So for example, if you go on vacation and you come back from

There could be a lot of reasons why it could, because you've got

It could be because you stopped drinking coffee and you

It could be because you got away from work.

Maybe you had a better night's sleep.

Those would all be potential processes that could contribute to you feeling

That help people promote the help people change.

And there's a lot of them in act.

We look at six of them in particular, but there's a lot of them, but they really

And I'd love for you to talk a little bit about, um, some of those

Yes.

Well, and you said it in a really good way in terms of the ways that

Um, the ways that we conceptualize.

Who we are ourselves and the ways that we interact with one another.

And so we've really, um, extrapolated in some ways, or maybe even simplified

And the ways that we look at it are in terms of processes, change associated

And so with that, being able to attend to the present moment rather than being

compassion for your thoughts and being able to separate from your thoughts

We were talking about that in terms of this core yearning for belonging

And so if we can develop toward developing interpersonal connection

principles of creating a life that's driven by your values, more so than

And so emotion, flexibility, and rather than.

Um, emotion, uh, avoidance and dysregulation.

And so we boiled it down to those four categories instead

And you could see how something like that would be helpful

There's a degree of mindful self-compassion to acknowledge,

This is anxiety provoking.

And this isn't, you know, this is a normal response to an abnormal situation.

And I need to have some, you know, self compassion and common humanity about

Uh, and then being able to know our values to live from our values and that

on what are some effective ways to deal with anxiety, or maybe start a

And ultimately also find that connection with people.

And break down these barriers to us, having to be in our hiding holes with

We have to keep those under wraps, but really opening and allowing for our

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And that combination can really then lead to wellbeing.

So, okay.

So we've talked a bit about what some of the barriers are to

What treatment could look like.

And I will say with those processes, those could show up and ACT, but

And, um, the therapists that have a theoretical orientation and sort

processes underlying wellness, and maybe understand some of the research are

But I want to talk to you a little bit because you've

know, this, isn't your first rodeo in terms of developing treatment

And I'd love for us to talk about like how to find a good therapist,

And I want to talk about that from two different angles.

One from the angle of actually what the research says, and then another, from,

And I can even share some more of what, some of what my friends

Yes.

Well, you and I we've talked about this before that, when we look at

therapy, a lot of times it boils down to aspects of the therapeutic

A lot of the weight in the effectiveness of psychotherapy.

And so a lot of times I think that people may look for someone who has a lot of

And although you definitely want someone who, um, has good, um,

You also want someone who is relatable, someone where you're going

And sometimes that's hard to know, um, you know, looking at psychology

which it feels a little bit like, um, uh, online dating or something,

I said, okay, I'm going to take the step to see to see as a therapist.

Um, and now I'm going to go see that person.

You have to be willing to either, if it, if you didn't feel like it worked

Um, a lot of times, Um, people get discouraged with that first appointment

And so I always tell people, give it a second appointment a chance

Yes.

So certainly the therapeutic relationship is like central and

You want to trust your therapist, want to feel like you can open up,

You want to feel empathy and care and your therapist just needs to

So if there's some, like, you know, that's just one of the

Predicts better therapy.

And like I said before, psychological flexibility of the therapist,

call non-specific factors, but it's actually quite specific there it's

And yes.

Experience does not necessarily map on to outcome.

Neither does degree.

Neither does gender.

Neither does age.

Those things don't necessarily predict the, um, effect

And another aspect that's kind of interesting about therapist is that

That's very validating to me.

Validating.

Yes.

But what that says to me is that people who may experience more self-doubt

And so what to me might be, you said that your friend gave you a list of like, when

behind their name, and hasn't really engaged in trainings or any updates, you

learners who are keeping themselves um, competent and on the cutting

And I think it's those individuals who experienced self doubt that

Steve Hayes says that experience predicts constant.

It's not competence and it's not even just an adage.

It's the research shows this.

And the reason is that experience can sometimes occur in a silo.

And when that happens, you're not necessarily getting feedback

And so maybe those individuals who experienced self doubt are more likely to

And so that would be someone you would want to look for I think in a therapist.

Another aspect that I think is really important is the therapist

And privileged and power in the therapy room, privilege and power and contextual

So.

For a long time therapy has been very individualistic in nature.

Right?

Kind of like it's about how you're thinking and it's about how you're

impact of things like oppression or stigma or all these other contextual

Maybe you're in a workplace environment that's really

Right.

And.

Also how that shows up in the therapy room.

So one of those, the other run thing that my girlfriend said was I run,

Because there's a positionality there of putting yourself in a position of power.

And I think it's so important in therapy.

There's many layers of power there's power differentials that we can

client of color there's privilege and positionality in that dynamic, And

If I have all my credentials on the wall and I'm coming in as an expert,

And it's so important that it's the client's goals and it, what the

Not the therapist.

So that's another thing that you kind of can, it's sort of maybe

Pretty, I mean, there's, some of these are kind of intuitive, um, senses of how you

Um, like, social action, are they putting themselves in.

In that, in that way, that's indicates that they may be that

Absolutely.

There may be studies that have been done on this, but in terms of like getting

desk, and maybe your chairs up higher and there's this lower, I mean, all of

, reflect maybe some of the more inflexibility or

And so it may be that in those situations, that's like a boundary

And so it, that armor though blocks connection.

And we're talking about really creating a culture at Lightfully that, that

When I think about therapy and we were talking about being seen before.

And I think about this too, for employees, I think.

Our client to come in.

I went employees to that work with us to feel that way that they feel

And so being able to take into account our own privilege, our own lens through

our clients or allowing them to feel seen, um, is of utmost importance

It's, it's an ICU.

I care about you.

And also I think there's something in therapy.

That's about.

And I'm not gonna let myself get entangled in it.

Probably, I think one of the best therapists that, um, I know I will

of my really good friends, she's actually a sports psychologist and

She's worked with like athletic, the Olympic teams,

As a therapist, you need to have this sort of view where there's enough distance

And you have to have that awareness.

So it's like, I see you.

And I see myself and I see the pattern between us and I see my own

And you're juggling all of this at once.

And it does take a level of self.

So one of the things that I look for in therapist is I want a therapist

I don't want to know exactly.

You don't have to tell me all the details, but you've been

We don't want that, you know, TMI in therapy.

You don't want to have an over disclosing therapist, but you

They've been through something in their life, or they've

So they.

I speak from a place of greater depth and also know their own patterning

Yes, yes.

Yeah.

They have to be willing to do the same work that we're asking our clients to do.

And, um, that to achieve that level of self-awareness that we're

Okay.

So we want to talk about, I wanted to talk to you about three things, like,

How do you find a therapist?

And I will put a list of some of these on, in the show notes, so that you'll be

And then the third thing that I wanted to talk to you about is something.

Very personal to me, which is something that I care a lot

So once a week therapy isn't enough and somebody needs

It's like a super hard thing to do into a higher level of care.

So I'd love to talk about the different types of levels of care.

And the reason why this is important to me is I've been on the side of clients

I've experienced it from the realm of running a IOP and seeing just the magic

treatment that just, you take out, carve out that space to work really deeply

And I've also experienced it as a teenager.

I was in a residential treatment and I attribute that time

And I'm so ever grateful to a residential treatment for being able to help me.

It wasn't the whole recovery process, but really get me started

Well, I love the way that you're saying that.

I think that a lot of us bring our own, um, the reason a lot of these things are,

And, um, I told you this before that I'm also recovered from, um, an eating

And It was very vulnerable that we talked about this earlier,

And there were times along the way that my own thinking

And so, so after you reach out and let's say you're in outpatient therapy, And

A lot of times, if we get tangled up with our thoughts again, around that process,

So we tell ourselves things like this should have worked.

There's something I'm fundamentally flawed.

There's something wrong with me that this isn't working.

I'm not trying hard enough.

I'm a failure.

And that kind of keeps people stuck when really the.

The real answer is that once a week, isn't what you needed.

I use examples all of the time.

If someone were to say, you know, you're supposed to take aspirin, Three times

It wouldn't, it wouldn't work and you really just needed the

And so in this situation, the person might need a different dose of

And so a larger dose of treatment is exactly like you said, it's, it allows

Um, and to set aside time where you can really accelerate the

I tell clients that they get to decide, of how many.

The doses, the dose is that's one of the things that they are in charge

to get, things accelerated to where then you can come back into life and start

For many people, that road looks very different.

Some people spend longer in the residential side of things.

And other people, have more of like a day treatment kind of option

Like you talked about before, like an intensive outpatient where it just

a week where they're able to be back in life, but having the structure to

And what I want to say about that is that you don't have to

So there's.

Like inpatient where you're in a hospital and that would

If you were having, you know, medication issues, psychosis, suicidal ideation,

Right.

And then there's residential treatment as the next level down

And then there's intensive outpatient programming and then maybe group

And you don't need to know because what you do is you make a phone call to a

They do a full assessment on you.

And in this really full detailed assessment, they give you a

You are free to choose.

You are not forced.

You are always free to choose what treatment option is best.

But they'll give you recommendation based on a lot of experience with a

And I would recommend folks, like if you're concerned about somebody else.

If you feel like maybe you need a higher level of care, or if you're a therapist

Because I think also that's the other thing is sometimes it's a therapist.

We also need to say like this isn't working anymore.

I care about you.

And because I care about you so much, I want you to get more treatment.

Pass this podcast.

Because sometimes it's just helpful to hear these different options and it can

more about different levels of care, learn more about getting therapy, learn

So we hope that you pass this on to folks that you think would benefit from this.

And there's no forcing.

You don't have to be 100% ready to change.

I think that's another reason people wait to, to seek help.

And so you can just have the idea of.

That thing you want things to be different and that's enough to reach out.

You can come in in a state of ambivalence.

In fact, the majority of people do..

And that's what we work through with people.

When they come in this database, ambivalence that they may be

Yeah, there's a whole therapy approach just to that

So if you've got a good treatment center or a good therapists, they'll,

Absolutely.

Okay, Nicole.

Well, thank you so much for spending time with us today.

You're such a wealth of information and such a delight and, um, What a wonderful

We need our family and we need each other.

We need ourselves, we need our highest selves to get through this thing.

And, we hope that this podcast is helpful to you.

And if it is, please share it, please pass it along.

In today's discussion with Nicole Siegfried.

We talked a lot about internal barriers to seeking therapy, things

And I want to say that there's awesome.

A lot of external barriers to seeking therapy in terms of access to therapy,

has been telemedicine and teletherapy, which has allowed more people to gain

So it's not all bad news.

Nicole and I also talked about characteristics of a good therapist,

If you go down to this week's Daily Practice and click on that, you can

includes things like psychological flexibility in a personal skills,

You want a therapist that shows hopefulness and uses evidence-based

And has a healthy amount of self-doubt.

Nicole described some core processes and thriving that map onto the

Areas that she talked about were mindful self-compassion, your ability to step

Those are some of the key processes that Hayes and colleagues have found

And then finally, we talked about how to find a higher

And what are the different types of levels of care.

For this week's homework, I want to take on a central theme of today's

So here's what I want you to do.

It's quite simple, but powerful.

Number one, choose a problem that you could use some help with that maybe

now, because you've been entangled in thoughts about needing to do it on your

And I want you to practice some acceptance, practice, some mindful

Talk to somebody about it.

And then number two, reach out and offer help to somebody

It can be in the form of a phone call, a walk, a meetup, but try to embody

We can be good support systems to each other.

We can practice our interpersonal skills, our awareness of our own

And some degree of humility.

Okay.

So try out those two things this week.

Let me know how it goes for you.

I want to know.

And remember that experience does not equal competence.

So I need to know your feedback on what is helpful to you and what is not

So send me your feedback at podcast@YourLifeinProcess.Com.

Take care.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Your Life in Process.

When you enter your life in process, when you become psychologically

If you like this episode or think it would be helpful to somebody, please leave

have any questions, you can leave them for me by phone at (805) 457-2776 or by

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.

And it's not meant to be a substitute for mental health treatment.