This episode delves into the intricate dynamics of emotional influences on men's behavior, with particular emphasis on the pervasive emotion of guilt. We explore how guilt serves as a powerful motivator, compelling men to make decisions that may not align with their true desires. It is posited that the pursuit of approval, often engendered by societal expectations, significantly shapes men's choices and interactions, leading to potentially toxic situations. The discussion further extends to the implications of these emotions in personal relationships, particularly the challenges men face in balancing their own needs with those of their partners. Throughout the episode, we engage in candid dialogues that illuminate the broader societal context surrounding these emotional struggles, ultimately encouraging a deeper understanding of the complexities of masculinity in contemporary society.

How y' all doing?

My name is Reuben now with five minute warning.

I appreciate the fact that you've downloaded our episode today, but of course, just to let you know, we are live on Sundays, 9pm Eastern Standard Time, and you can join and talk with us and everything.

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Just put in five minute warning and join us live on the show every Sunday night, 9:00pm Eastern Standard Time.

And thank you for downloading this episode and we'll talk to you soon.

The following program is rated nal.

It contains strong language.

It is intended only for mature audiences.

This week on the five minute warning.

We all got labels, man.

Like, AG Is the republican, loving can't come to the cookout person.

I am the resident sexist.

You know what I'm saying?

We all got a label.

Whether it's true or not, we got a label.

That's your label, man.

The show that gives you everything and nothing at all.

That's everywhere you don't want to be.

It's Reuben, Mo B.

And on the ones and twos, AG.

The five minute warning.

Welcome, everybody, to a brand new episode of five minute warning.

Of course, as always, it's your man Ruby in the house.

And of course with me always is my cousin AG.

What's happening, y'?

All?

How you doing?

Oh, man, man, things have been phenomenal.

Actually, you know, I will be.

I will say this.

I'm kind of tiny, sad that, you know, the main event of Wrestlemania is going on.

That's cool.

That's why, like, I pay for.

So I can watch it later.

Like, I'm not stressed.

But I'm gonna be very honest with you, Ro.

Roman Reigns, man, he.

His wrestling is slow.

I can't do it.

So, like, I'd rather just hear who wins and I'll see the ending and, like, that I'm not stressed, you know, but.

Yo, man, nah, other than that, this past week has been pretty awesome.

What about you, AG?

Not bad.

It was the wife's birthday this weekend.

Happy birthday to her.

Happy birthday to her.

Did you do the, like, the Jackson 5 birthday joint?

We will not be doing that, sir.

No, no, I'm saying, did you do that?

Like I did?

Did you wake up in the morning and the Jackson 5 birthday joint?

Cause, I mean, she would have loved that because it was from you.

She would have tolerated it because it wouldn't have been very good.

What's up?

It wouldn't have been very good, sir.

Mowing the house.

Mo in the house.

Hey, man, it's not about.

From what I understand, because I'm not.

This whole married thing, sometimes it's about the thought that counts.

Oh, there was plenty of thought going into other things.

Not me singing.

Oh, well, there we go.

You know, I mean, you know, I hear from.

And y' all can.

Y' all can help me out on this.

We're gonna.

We're gonna get a little adult very quickly and very short.

I mean, the word on the street is like, birthdays are the days for taking care of business.

Yeah, no, it doesn't work that way when it's a woman's birthday, sir.

Oh, okay.

Explain to me how it works.

Not even close.

I mean, y' all tell me how it works, gentlemen, because I don't know.

Well, for.

For men, we hope that we get the birthday things that every other man is not married thinks that we get.

Okay?

For women, it's a totally different thing.

It's just like the celebration, the presents, the, you know, the showering, the, you know, all that showering of love.

Yes.

Presents, all the things.

So the.

The experience and the expectations are different.

Okay, so.

So doing the other stuff ain't that important?

No, not unless you have that type of woman.

But on average, you know, it kind of feels like.

You know what?

I tell you what.

Something you can understand.

It's the same as how you treat your mom on Mother's Day.

It's about the same thing.

Mechanically, it's kind of the same thing.

That's scary.

How's it scary?

Why is it scary?

Yeah, why is it scary?

I mean, I don't know.

So I'm just.

I mean, you said it for a reason.

I'm curious now.

No, I mean, it's like.

Yeah.

I mean, could you get why you would think it's any different?

And the only reason I'm asking that is because it's like, all right.

Even though you're not.

Yeah.

You.

You still hear all the same tropes about, like, hey, you know, what doesn't happen when Barry.

Sex.

So now I'm wondering, like, why you would think on her birthday,.

Something that.

We consider a reward for us would somehow be given to us.

But I don't.

I'm just baffled at your thought process,.

Like, because I guess I don't know what to think.

Men.

Men are not allowed to give sex as a gift.

Only women are allowed to say vagina is the gift.

Okay, so.

So.

So Nikki has checked in.

She's like, not on my birthday.

That's more for anniversary now.

I don't know if she's talking about the whole sex thing or.

Yeah, she's gonna need to clarify because I'm not really sure either.

But I don't.

I don't know what she's talking about.

Either, or she's talking about, like, you.

Like, you gave the thing about it's hot.

Like you would treat your mom on Mother's Day, you know?

Well, see, that's like, you treat, like.

With her on that.

On the anniversary, but on her birthday, they about to get down, down, down, down.

I mean.

But I don't know.

I'm speaking for her, Reuben.

I'm still at the part where I'm like.

When I said it's kind of like how you treat your mom on Mother's Day.

And you were.

You had all this trepidation.

I'm trying to figure out what's the problem.

I think it.

I think the situation, I think is just.

Yeah.

Nikki just told you sex isn't a birthday gift.

Told you.

I'm telling you, man, that the only time that's ever used as a gift is when directed at us.

Exactly.

Because women aren't going to try hard enough to really do it right necessarily.

But they can always fall back on the coochie.

That's just the truth.

Now, every woman's not like that.

Mine is not.

I gotta calm her down.

However, for a lot of women, the effort's just not there.

So they just give you some and.

And it feels like a gift because they ain't gave you none in about a month.

So it's like, you know, it's a whole thing, man.

It's a whole thing.

But I'm curious.

Answer.

Answer the initial question.

I think.

I think it was more or less the.

It wasn't more the.

What am I trying to say?

The.

I guess I didn't necessarily like the.

The comparison.

Oh, okay.

I think it was more.

I think it was more the comparison of, you know, you treat your wife's birthday as you treat your mom on Mother's Day.

For me, I just didn't.

I mean, it's pretty boring, like.

But if that's what it is.

It's what it is.

How is it boring?

You keep leading me down this rabbit.

How is it?

No, I mean, like, on Mother's Day, I might give my mom some flowers or whatever, and that's Happy Mother's Day.

And that's kind of it.

Like, it's not like it's a big old.

Right.

But what I'm saying is that's kind of this that's kind of mechanically.

That's kind of how it is, except it's much more intense.

But you spend a lot of time, you know, pedestals are high.

Showering of gifts, all about you.

Like when my.

The first.

Like the first thing I tell my wife all the time is like, hey, I'm glad.

I'm glad, you know, I ain't got to go to jail because you just turned 18.

Making her feel young.

All the things, cuz, you know, So.

I just think that.

I think the.

For me and I.

Maybe other people might be like, yeah, that makes sense.

I just think the.

The comparison was a little off.

But that's okay.

It's not that big of a deal.

I understand now what y' all saying.

Pretty much it's like, love me, love me, love me, love me.

But the sex thing is whatever.

It's like a showering of love, but, like, we ain't banging unless your wife just does that, but then it's not a gift for her.

Wait a minute.

Back up.

It's like a showering of love when you're banging.

What?

No, no.

Unless, like, it's like a showering of love except the sex part.

That's what I'm saying.

Okay.

Like, you know, so.

No, I understand that.

I just.

Yeah, the Mother's Day thing just threw me off.

It's okay, though.

All right?

I'm not.

You know that guy said,.

This has gone to a place where it didn't need to go.

I'm sorry, Ruben.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, sorry.

It's okay.

It's all right, man.

Reuben, I'm required.

I'm a.

Yes.

I'm just saying I can quickly capsulate it, man.

The only thing typically we can do on her birthday is mess it up.

Exactly.

Like, literally the whole goal is just.

I don't want to fuck this up.

Exactly.

Okay.

I couldn't agree more.

I could not agree more.

You're talking about, like, getting a private at the end of it.

Like.

No, man, I'm just trying not to this up.

Okay, Gotcha.

Don't want to mess this up because.

You're never hitting that one.

No, it's not yet.

Messing that one day up will mess up the rest of the year for you.

See, he disagreed me when I said about a Valentine's Day.

But see, it's the same.

It's the same thing, man.

There's certain days forgetting your anniversary is kind of the third for her birthday.

And like, what is the other one?

Her birthday.

Oh, and Mother's Day.

If She's a mom.

If you mess those up.

And again, you have to take notes.

Like, I know for a fact there has to be a card involved.

It took me about three or four years to understand that cards mean a lot to her.

So cards have to be involved.

I can do nothing else, but if I forget that card, bruh.

So when it's all said and done, right, like, the birthday thing is pretty much like, hey, these are the list of things that you need to do so you don't fuck this day up.

Like, so pool.

Like, so if your wife likes cards, you're gonna make sure you get her.

A car all day.

But if she doesn't like car, you're gonna make sure you ain't doing that.

Because I'm telling you, it's like, this is the one time I think women are accurate.

It's like they'll tell you what they like and what they don't.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah, don't.

If you're.

Oh, yeah, I'm gonna disagree with you on that.

What?

I'm gonna disagree with you on the.

Tell you what they want.

Now, you can maybe pick up what they want based on context clues, but there are a whole bunch of women who will give you the, oh, I don't really want anything.

It's not a big deal, blah, blah, blah.

They don't give you much of a direction to go on, but it's still your job not to fuck it up.

No, I understand that.

That's true.

What I'm saying to you is like, if there's something.

Like, I knew a dude I used to work with.

His wife did not, and I repeat, did not like flowers.

She thought.

I mean, from a pragmatic standpoint, from an emotional standpoint, it didn't mean anything to.

Yeah, watch it.

And he messed around and did it one time and learned the hard way.

That's what I'm talking about.

A lot of times women will be very honest about what they don't want.

Like what Nikki said.

It's like, that's true.

That's true.

Sex isn't a birthday they don't want.

So to wake Nikki up in the morning, like, girl, I got this pee pee for you.

Come on, boo boo.

She like, ew, ew.

Stop being cringe and take me somewhere.

You know what I'm saying?

The vibe is different, but they will tell you what they don't want.

And so you have to pay attention to those things.

And once you get a good list, then it's on.

Like you said, you'll hear those statements after we've told you many times what we like or want.

And that means your ass ain't paying attention.

Yeah.

And you, you get what you get.

And that's where we go back to, you know, don't mess it up.

Just don't, man.

It's just like, don't mess it up.

You are playing not to lose at this point.

Don't mess it up.

Right?

Check.

All right, cool.

You know, list of things, what happens once you get a female in your life?

You know, that sort of thing.

So, Ag, you got a question from Ogle Cowboy.

What's your go to breakfast meal you make for your wife?

I have gathered quite a few things.

And it doesn't have to be because I'm a first round draft pick.

I can make all the throws.

I can make all the throws, sir.

So she gets Valentine's birthday, Mom's day level cuisine, because.

Hey, hey.

You want homemade pancakes?

I got you.

Ooh, can you do your eggs?

Yes.

Oh, I'm feeling a little iron deficient.

I got you.

I'm gonna take you out.

Or I can do the steak or the hamburger or whatever.

So it's just like, you get to the point, if you're really putting in work in the film room, you really putting in work at practice, okay, you have, you have a, you know, a tool belt worth of stuff that you can just whip out anytime.

And then once, because like, my wife, what my wife does is like, I was like on like a Saturday, Sunday morning, whatever.

We don't have anything to do.

It's like, hey, you want pancakes today?

She's like, oh, you're gonna do your eggs.

And then the happy dance starts.

I know I'm good.

Then when I start whipping out flour and butter and all the things, she's like, oh, it's going down now.

Oh, shit.

So that's kind of the answer to that.

You have to make sure.

And this is not a reciprocation type of thing, but as a dude, this is a one sided statement.

As a dude, you have to make sure that you are better than who you were last year.

Because contract negotiations aren't per four years or whatever the term was.

It's every freaking day.

It's every day.

So you gotta show up, make sure you're better than you were, sir.

Make sure you're better than you were.

Whatever that means to your marriage.

Make sure you're better.

Awesome.

So, Mo B, I got a question for you.

And Nikki says, preach, AJ Mo B, do you think you're a first round draft pick?

No.

So what do you think?

You fought?

I mean, are you undrafted?

You like 6 second, third round?

Like, what are we talking about here?

Look, man, I. I think.

I think if.

If we're being honest, like if she's being honest, I can't say I was a first round draft pick.

Cause she doesn't remember meeting me.

Huh?

You know what I'm saying?

I always have to remind her when I actually met her.

What?

Because she doesn't remember that whole inter track.

And here's the thing, Ag.

Ruben was there when I first met her.

She doesn't remember and she doesn't remember.

That's trifling.

That's winner.

That's trifling.

So what you're telling me is.

So that's what I'm saying I can't be a first round draft pick because like, obviously I didn't make that much of an impact.

Well, see, okay, I'll tell you what.

I tell you what.

That trifling.

I'll tell you who Mo is.

Mo is Mr.

Irrelevant.

Tom Brady version.

He got kicked last, apparently, because she doesn't remember him.

Right.

He didn't show up on no scouting report.

Damn.

But where's the love?

He got seven championships and nine appearances.

So.

Because she married him.

She married him freely.

Because the body.

That's why I said, I'm just not gonna say I'm a first round draft pick.

Because you know what?

I am self aware.

I'm self aware.

You know what I'm saying?

I had a chip on my shoulder.

From the beginning,.

Jg.

You don't even know the half of it, man.

She doesn't remember meeting me.

She hooked up with her friend.

Oh, I don't entertain others when I'm with someone.

So she was dating someone apparently when she met you.

And that is a 100% fair statement.

Okay, well, see, the way you characterized it, that's not really accurate because what she's saying right now is I might have liked you, but it's like I was with somebody.

See?

Ag.

You said entertain.

That implies that while she was with somebody, I was shooting my shirt.

No, Ag, I just had a actual interaction, normal conversation, hey, nice to meet you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Had a full fledged conversation with her.

And she forgot it all.

And then like.

And then like three or four months later, she was like talking to me as if we had never met.

And I was like, oh, this is what we're doing.

Cool.

I mean, is that cool?

I'm just here so I don't get.

Fine.

Look, man, only thing I'm saying is because my, my scouting report said, can't do this, can't do that.

I was basically the black quarterback in the 60s and 70s.

Oh, damn.

But ownership was like, I seen the film.

I'm taking them first round, first overall, no matter what y' all say.

So I'm just saying now I'm gonna be honest.

I, I think, I'm pretty sure I wasn't actually drafted by her.

Like, I, I think, I think I hit the waiver wire.

Wow.

Not even a free agent, just a waiver wire.

Yeah, I think, I think I hit the waiver wire.

That's fair.

That is a fair assessment.

Thank you.

I hit the waiver wire also.

Thank you.

And she was like, you know what?

I can coach him.

You know what I'm saying?

I can coach.

I, I gotta see something in him.

I might be able to do a system.

I got a system that'll work for him.

I think he's an adequate game manager, you know what I'm saying?

You know, I can accentuate his pros and I can minimize his cons.

He is not wrong there.

He is absolutely not wrong.

That sounds so sad.

I mean, look, man, he got drafted by somebody else and they ain't really know what to do with him.

So instead of re signing him to a new contract, they just go ahead and let him walk and find his other.

Find his next move.

And, you know, winner picked him up, man.

She was like, you know, let's see what I can do with this because I think I can make this work.

And next thing you know, they married, two kids living in the house and life is beautiful.

So it's like, yeah, Boko cowboy forgets nothing.

I mean, hold up though, but do.

You really have to work on your.

Pullout game when you're married?

I said, why do I have to work on it?

Yeah, you married now.

I am perfectly happy with having a very untested.

It incapable, like just.

Yeah, hey, you know, you know what Tom Brady does it do?

Run the option.

It's cool.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, I, I know what I do.

Well.

I know my pull out game is not necessary anymore, so.

I'm married, bro.

It is what it is.

I mean, I can do whatever I want with it now.

I mean, that's.

Ruben, I appreciate you picking up the waiver wire reference.

I'm like, yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

I mean, but that sound like, didn't nobody want you I'm like, dang, no, no.

See, nobody wanted me.

I was with a team.

It didn't stick.

You know what I'm saying?

I thought I put some good film out there, but obviously they was like, this ain't the direction we going.

I mean, I'm not saying the man was Sam Donald.

I'm just saying, like, you know, he was somebody.

You know What?

I was A.J.

I was Chris Carter with the Eagles.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, people don't even remember he played for the Eagles, but the Vikings picked him up off the waiver wire.

But he was so good with the Eagles.

Just had off the field stuff.

Ag.

I would argue that I was pretty good on the team I was with, too.

True enough.

Because if not,.

Hey, man, I mean, oh, Jesus.

All these football references in the draft, is this coming with full?

But, Ruben, I just.

Before we leave this, I just want you to know, I said it earlier.

When you get your girl, understand that the energy is not matched, okay?

Oh, yeah, definitely.

Okay.

As long as you understand that most women don't match the same energy they require.

So just understand that.

Almost definitely.

Look at Nikki.

Well, the owners didn't agree.

The owners didn't agree.

Hey, that is true.

But you know what?

It worked out well for me.

I don't know what that team did afterwards.

I mean, and the owners were good friends.

It just didn't work.

It worked.

It didn't work for one all the way.

And the other one picked up, realized, hey, man, you left the diamond in rough play.

I got it.

And that's what it was.

You know, Next thing you know, you know, shit.

Think of it like this, Ag.

It would be as if I was on a team, that team didn't want me.

But a coach that was on that team, went to another team, was like, hey, nah, I saw what he could do, and you just weren't using it right.

So let me.

Let me bring it over here.

I agree.

I do agree with all that.

That's for sure.

Because I. I was on a few teams myself.

On any given Sunday.

That's what I was.

You know what I'm saying?

I hear you.

I was really beaten on the end of it.

He was like, hey, I'm going to another.

And you know what?

Just so I make a good decision, I'm gonna take the quarterback with me.

Yeah.

You know, I mean, him and his invisible juice.

Yeah.

I learned a few practice squads.

Just saying I was.

I'm still in the ufl.

It's okay.

Wow.

So, I mean, you still got your cleats on, man, you know what I'm saying?

Hey, man, bruh, I mean, gotta have a cleats on.

Hey, before we leave the whole football, before we leave all the football references.

Reuben, I don't know if you know this or not, but the commanders have made an amendment to their logo.

And I thought it was the most expensive thing ever.

I was like, I thought we were going away from this, so.

That's a world, man.

Give my opinion on it because I talked to Moby about it briefly and honestly, man, here's the thing, like,.

I.

Don't really have an issue with it.

To me, yeah, it could be seen as a, a shot.

I think honestly, it's like, look, look, you ain't getting the other name back.

Here's a spear, got the up and this is it.

Now I would be if it was something else, I'd probably be a little more upset.

I'm not necessarily mad at the spirit thing.

It goes through the W. You know, it kind of looks okay.

So it's not like it doesn't like, oh my God, you know, whatever, whatever.

So yeah, I'm fine with it.

Okay?

I'm fine with it.

You know, you can make it into a.

It's a more than what it is to me.

It's like, look, you ain't getting the name back.

We'll give you this because they could have, it could have been a lot worse.

And you know what?

It is only on one of the helmets.

So it was only on the, the home burgundy helmet.

So you know what?

I saw it on the black one.

So it's on the black one too.

I just see it on the black one.

I think it's on the black one.

Yeah, but you know what?

They don't wear the black ones every week.

And I think last year they wore the black uniforms like twice and whatever.

So like, you know, it's.

I, I'm not super upset about that.

Okay.

You know, sometimes you gotta, sometimes got to, I mean, you know, you just got to be like, you know what, whatever, you know, Cuz some people might be like, well, it's a dog whistle.

I'm like, I don't think it's a dog whistle.

I just is like, look, it's almost like to me, it's like, look, shut the up, this ain't happening.

Here's a spear.

We're going to put it through the W. It's not touching people.

None of that.

And that's it.

Like, we ain't got spears all in Our uniform and all this other stuff, it's in the W. It doesn't even look like.

It doesn't have feathers at the end of it.

None of that.

It's just a spear.

Let it go.

And, you know, I think.

I think the people who made that decision are very much depending on people like you to defend it in that, man.

Well, I mean, because I guess my thing is, is, like, I don't know, maybe.

Maybe I'm just to the point of.

Look, man, you're not going to change people's minds.

My people got their shit made up, and it's just whatever, you know, as much as I was going through old shit this weekend, and I saw some hats, man, and it's got the old name on it, and I put it back in the bag and put it back in the closet.

I mean, I will probably never wear any of that again, especially unless, like, I were to put something over it or something like that.

But still, I got a new.

I got a new commander's jersey, bro.

Like.

Like, I'll probably never wear any of that stuff ever again.

I'm very.

I'm very fine.

You know, other people.

I can't control other people.

I can control myself.

Understood.

And I mean.

Yeah.

And it's not like it looks bad.

It doesn't look horrible, number one.

I think it doesn't look horrible.

I mean.

I mean, once again, ag.

You see what I'm saying?

Like, they're very much dependent on.

Man.

I just wanted to let you to know that I love you, sir.

I do.

And I'm gonna move on.

I mean, I thought some things when I saw that none of them were good, but okay.

I mean, I've had to wrestle with the same thing as, like, an Atlanta Braves fan.

Like, they used to do the tomahawk chop, and they still use the ax on the symbol for Atlanta.

Like, sometimes they'll still use the ax.

And I'm just like.

I see what you're doing there, like, because, you know, the people who just don't want to let it go are itching to have something out there that lets you know.

I'm still going to acknowledge your little bit of racism.

It's okay.

It's okay to just have a little hate in you.

So here we go.

We're gonna.

We.

We're gonna put the tip in.

You know what I'm saying?

Basically, it's the put the tip in version of racism.

Hey, man, you don't deserve all of it, but you're gonna get this little bit.

Just Let you know what you're missing.

Understood.

Understood.

I mean, but yeah, I mean, I don't have all the answers, nor do I feel like either way is.

I don't know.

I'm just not.

I guess a lot of it is.

I.

Part of me kind of just.

I'm over talking about it.

Like, I'm kind of over it.

You know, I. I do feel like when it's all said and done, it's like, yeah, we're the commanders now.

Just move on.

But I understand there are a whole bunch of people up there who can't, so.

Man, my uniform.

My.

My jersey doesn't have that.

I got the jersey from last year, and I'm very happy with my jersey.

So, you know, even though the black uniforms do look dope.

Do look dope, man, black uniforms as a whole look dope.

I mean, so, like, yeah, like K. Biaco.

Like, I get it.

Like, God's spirit is buried.

Old stuff is all tight.

I 100 agree.

But, I mean, when it's all said and done, it's like, you know,.

Move.

On by bringing back something from the past.

Yeah, I mean, it could have been worse.

Last year, they brought back Mark Rippon.

Of course, he's like, hail to the Redskins.

And we're just like, what the.

Like, come on, man, Read their room.

Like.

But, yeah, let me see what.

Nikki, we can let the whole team ride.

It wouldn't be.

Yeah, okay.

All right, so we.

We've done that.

WrestleMania's been dope this weekend.

You know, I'm glad it's happened, even though I'm a little pissed off about the sound system there.

But it.

That.

I'll save that for later on in the.

In the episode and.

And what's on my mind.

But look, let's talk about some real.

So last week we had a question, but we never really got to it because, as usual, we get caught up in other.

And so we're going to revert back to that question.

So the question is very simple.

What emotions controls what men do the most?

Right.

You know, because we do a lot of things.

But my question more is it's like, what.

What are we?

Which emotion are.

Is the most in control of men as a whole now?

Well, not as a whole as you.

So, like, ag.

Like, of all the emotions that really move you, which emotions are one that really dictates how you move?

Chasing approval.

It's the same thing I said three weeks ago.

We were talking about something else, but it's the same thing for me.

It's Just like when I look at myself, when I look at men interact with their women and that includes moms like every woman at every stage in your life.

We're always looking for that approval from them and we work hard to do it and that's how we get caught up in toxic situations.

And women understand how to manipulate it to their advantage.

Even in a, like, even if it's not malicious, they understand how to do these things.

So and when I, when I look at it and I subtract, you know, that desire for approval, my life and decision making are 100% different, 100%.

Now it doesn't mean that I won't provide or protect and all those things.

That's a whole nother emotion for me, sort of.

But the decisions I make behind it are a lot different.

Like I would live a lot less in the moment, much more future based, which means that you have to say no often, which doesn't really get said now.

It's not a problem for me.

My wife is great.

However, even in this situation personally, it would just be vastly different if I wasn't necessarily chasing that, those endorphins for that approval.

So for me that's kind of what it is because at most like about two weeks prior to me saying it, he was saying, he said it a different way.

But it's just like if, basically if men spent more time saying no, we're having different conversations because a lot of things women do to get you to do whatever they want you to do, even this is not being a woman being like malicious, like hunting.

That's not what I'm really saying.

But it's just like if you don't respond to her emotions and you completely respond logically, your life is going to be so, so much different.

In fact, you might not even be with a woman anymore.

You might just stay single because then you don't have to deal with any emotion at all.

So when you stop chasing her approval and you stop chasing that stuff, things, things get different.

That's when, that's when sex does become a birthday gift to a woman because you tell her no as much as she tells you.

It's like, no, I'm good, or you don't, you don't really care.

And she doesn't have that as a weapon anymore because a woman that gets told no or gets like she's in that situation where her, her body is of no consequence, it's a different vibe altogether.

So that would say, I would say that was that.

For me, that is the biggest emotion for me.

And I don't even know if chasing approval is an emotion.

I just know that that act is apparent to me.

Yeah, I was, you know, because I was thinking about that, and everything makes sense.

So I guess to bring it down maybe a level 2.

Are we talking a little bit more about anxiety and making sure that, you know, you're focused on getting the approval from your significant other?

It's a byproduct.

Anxiety is a byproduct.

It's.

It's definitely.

It weighs.

It can weigh on you just like.

Just like it weighs on you to tell a woman.

No, there's a.

It's the same type of thing when a fat person can't eat cake.

It's something to be taken seriously because there is a physical expression in that anxiety.

Not to eat that cake.

Like to tell my wife.

No, again, I'm just saying, because my wife isn't like that.

That person I'm describing.

However, when you know you can't do something because you're looking to do something else for her benefit, it's a reaction to.

It's weighty.

It feels like something.

I ain't just saying no.

And it's like, it's all good to me, you know?

So, like, when she was sick, there are certain things that she wanted to do, and I was just like, no, we're not doing that.

We're just not.

Have a seat.

And to talk to her like, that was like.

I had to get used to that.

I had to get used to it because in the moment, she's not happy with me right now, but she's not happy with the situation.

You know, a few hours pass, and she's okay, because she understands what, you know, what I'm talking about.

But.

But in the moment, it's.

It's a little tight, you know, to do that, and it's not easy for me to do.

If it was easy for me to do it just it, you know, I was like, whatever.

You'll be all right.

Deuces, whatever.

But being that, you know, men have emotions, too.

You have to.

It's a deliberate act.

You have to be prepared, and you have to understand what's going to happen and all the things.

So anxiety is a byproduct of what I'm saying.

Okay.

All right, Moby.

When I initially saw this question,.

My.

First response was, no emotion should control a man, because I.

And that's not even like in the.

The stereotypical male should always be logical thing.

It's just.

I've kind of been programmed in my upbringing and everything to think that any, any male who, first of all, any male who expresses emotions is almost a superhero.

Because it's like for a long time I didn't even know that was allowed.

And then second of all, then I start to look down on somebody who makes decisions or does anything based on emotions.

But when I dove deeper into it, I was like, you know what I think really drives?

And this doesn't drive.

This doesn't drive.

So this doesn't drive like the men that I guess nobody would really want to be bothered with.

But I think the single thing that drives most good men is guilt.

I think guilt is almost the most motivating factor that any solid to decent man dictates most of their actions based on guilt.

And that's.

And you can look at that however you want.

I'm not saying that it means that somebody is maliciously trying to make you feel guilty as a.

Manipulation tactics like.

No, it's just as a guy, we aren't generally given excuses for failure not accomplishing something.

All of those things are guilt.

Like if you're broke, if you did, if, if you're in an impoverished situation, you're guilty because you did that.

You're the guy.

You're supposed to make sure that nothing like this happens.

If somebody in your life is going through something and they need help and you can't do it, guilt.

Guilt will make you figure out and manipulate things that you don't even really have a reason to do just to make somebody else appease somebody else.

Because you feel guilty.

Because that is an assignment that you have placed on yourself, whether it's an actual assignment you should be taking on or not.

But I think there's almost no greater motivating factor that good to decent men have than guilt.

Okay, cool.

Cool.

When I, when I came up with a question, you know, I thought about, I took it internally because I look at myself sometimes and I.

And I wonder, it's like, well, what motivates me?

But I also, I can also stand, sit here and advise that what motivates me does not motivate other men.

Just because I know that I am, I'm one of one and you know, I'm acquired taste and all that beautiful stuff.

I say, I say this like what drives me is hope.

And I think that, you know, being a, being an eternal optimist is a gift and a curse.

100 Right.

Because even though signs point to not a good idea, there are times where I still feel like we gonna make this happen even Though, you know, you look in the sky, there's a tornado coming your way.

You know what?

We're gonna be okay.

You know, so it's like.

It's.

Yeah, for me, it's a lot of hope.

And I can only say that because of.

As far as, like, my experiences in life and things of that such.

Because I do feel like hope has taken me through a lot.

You know, the hope that I'm gonna come out the other side better than I was before.

And.

Yeah, I mean, you know, y' all have known me for a very long time.

And, you know, we've even said on the show, you know, Reuben, your positivity baffles me.

And I mean, you know, sometimes it baffles me, too.

But what's the alternative, right?

I could be.

If I'm not hopeful, then I'm a sad, blubbering mess.

And, you know, that's not good for anything, anybody or whatever.

What.

I don't know why this is just hilarious to be like, what, you're hopeful hating ass.

How are you hopeful and a hater at the same time?

I just thought about how great of a juxtaposition that is.

Like, you are the cause.

You.

It's true.

But the thing is, it's.

Anything about you is hopeful.

Anything about everybody else can get the hate, which is like.

It's like, hate.

Hate is your shield.

Hope is your sword.

Or could be the other way around.

Look, man, I've said numerous times that I am an acquired taste.

And that's on.

That's on purpose.

But this.

This wasn't even being critical.

I just thought.

No, you're saying how hopeful, positive you are.

And I'm just thinking at the same time, we've also had whole episodes where we're basically just talking about how amazing it is that you can hate the most positive things.

You know what?

I love Hope and positive thinking.

Your puppies.

Look, man, I mean, I. I wish I understood to, too, but, like, I.

But I think it's more or less because I'm hopeful for myself, like, in people and things around me.

And I think I, you know, stuff that is.

That has absolutely nothing to hopefully affect my life.

Like.

Yeah, that's just.

I guess that's how I separate it because I never really.

Like, I can honestly say I don't hate on.

I don't hate on positive people in my life, but if you're not in my life, you up for grabs.

And it's just.

That's good, bad, and different.

But if anything, I also feel that Makes me possibly one of the realest dudes y' all will ever know.

Because, hey, man, you're gonna get the positive and the negative, you know, about me depending on.

Not even depending on the situation.

It is what it is.

Like, like, yeah, I'm full attack.

And I can be tactful by a lot of things, you know, because the jobs that I've had have helped me with that.

But, man, just because I'm.

Just because sometimes out of my mouth, I come out tactful.

What's in here, buddy?

That's the real truth.

And sometimes, you know, I. I intentionally take the guard.

The guardrails off.

Like on the show.

I pretty much take the guardrails off on certain things because, like, for instance, this weekend, like, sir, hold on, hold on.

I have a cap I'd like to let you borrow.

Because what that statement was, was complete cap, take the guardrails off.

You're the safest motherfucker on this show, bro.

Take the guard ag.

You heard it too.

He said, I know you saw my face, right?

I know you saw my face.

So you don't even have to say that, Mo.

I know you saw my face.

Hey, we've gone back and forth about this for six years, and you still think you're somebody you're not.

Are you freaking serious right now?

Yeah, man.

Self aware.

Why are you out here lying in these streets, man?

I'm not lying in the streets.

On the show, it's different than what I'm not.

What did you just say?

He was being about himself.

That's what he hopes to come portray.

Ag.

He hopes, he portrays, like, fearlessness and, like, being completely vulnerable up here, but what actually happens is just hate,.

Hate,.

Hate as a weapon, and then making sure that you.

I. I've been saying before, man, you missed your calling.

You should have been in politics, cuz nobody, Nobody stays on the fence quite like you, sir.

Like, we.

You just proved it.

Like, with the whole Washington Commander Spear thing.

Like, you was like, you know what?

I'mma stay right on this fence.

Gonna.

I'm gonna make sure that the.

The racist people that just want the name to be the Redskins again.

I make sure I don't alienate them too much, but I'll make sure the people that really have a problem with it don't think I'm one of those people.

I'm just gonna stay right here.

I'm just gonna say, can we not talk about it?

Oh, man, it's so divisive.

I really wish we could be unifying in Something like rug.

Miss me with that whole.

Hey man,.

Let the guard rails down.

I. I am a straight answer C guy.

I've always been that.

The answer's always been C for me because I. I just.

There's something you.

That's not what you said.

You said I let the guard rails down up here.

And I'm trying to figure out what guardrails have you.

I thought he had a whole nother show.

He ain't tell us.

Yeah, but you got wrong.

He do a secret podcast.

Reuben, literally in the 318 shows, not including this one.

318 Shows that we have done.

I can count on my one hand and have change left over the times you have actually been vulnerable on this show.

No, don't think about it.

Don't think.

Because you're gonna come up with an inflated answer.

I approve that message.

Thank you.

I approved it.

Thank you.

Not saying it's never happened, but I mean it snowed one time in Florida.

That's pretty much the equivalence of it.

Exactly.

I'm telling you, man, I still have fingers left over.

Sir.

I mean, you could say that and.

And I'd be correct.

I'm not gonna say you'd be correct,.

But I know you're not.

You already been lying about it.

Anybody who listened to like most of the episodes would agree.

And it's okay if you don't agree.

Yeah, that's.

Hey, you know what?

It's your story.

You tell it how the you want to.

Sir, who are we to get in the way of.

With truth and logic.

Truth and logic.

Hilarious.

I mean.

Nah, I've been very real as far as about things that, you know, that's on my mind.

Never said you weren't real.

We just said you didn't let the guard rails down.

Cuz that's a characteristic of yours.

I don't know, man.

Rails.

I have let down.

And we didn't say you never did.

Okay.

I mean, I mean, Morris Chestnut always comes into play.

That guy, you know, that's not letting the guard.

It's not vulnerable.

That's hate.

You're very consistent with hate.

Yes.

Nobody argued the hate thing.

We didn't even argue the hopeful thing.

We simply said the whole guard rails thing down.

See, like Nikki says, that's not what's actually happened.

And Nick says C is the safest option.

Option.

And she's not wrong there.

And sometimes.

And you know what?

With that logic, yes, you are.

See, all the time, not all the time.

Once in a while you hit all the above.

Like, you know, so every once in a while, you'll be like, hey, all the above might be the.

I don't know, man.

I'm not really all the above guy.

I'm really not.

I'm.

I'm really like, you know, a.

B.

You know what?

We still got CF there.

And I'll make up a C for me.

I mean, so you a.

You out here answering C on true and false questions.

That's.

That's you right there, sir.

That's me.

Thank you for saying that, sir.

Thank you for saying I. I appreciate that so much.

I, I.

Because you, you help me not waste words.

Thank you.

But I mean, I think we've known that.

We have known that.

That's why we're here.

We have known that.

Obviously, you don't.

Based on your fre.

You realize you real.

What you've just said more than you have actually been vulnerable.

You constantly say a lot of things about your role on this show that are untrue.

Then you've actually been vulnerable.

I told you, there is, like, three situations.

I can think off the top of my head that you, like, uncorked who you actually are at a deeper level.

And so I'm like.

To hear you say this constantly because it's a pattern.

It's like, good gravy.

Are you.

But I've talked a lot about my personal life life and have been very, very open multiple times.

I mean, am I wrong there?

You're right, sir.

No, I'm just.

I'm being serious.

No, because I'm not.

I'm not doing this, man.

It's like, you.

If this is what you think, then okay.

But, you know, it's okay.

And you're right.

Yeah.

I think, I think, Reuben, you're mistaken.

Like, being.

Being honest about certain events in your life is the same thing as being, like, vulnerable about them.

And they're not.

They're not the same thing.

And the thing is, it might feel like that to you, which is why we're like, no, man, you still play it pretty safe.

But I get it.

Like, if you play it safe all the time, you know, running that yellow light might feel dangerous to you.

You know what I'm saying?

That's funny.

It was.

I can't.

I can't tell you how funny that.

Oh, my goodness.

That was hilarious.

Now every time I look at a traffic light, I'm gonna start laughing.

I ran some yellow lights today, man.

Felt pretty accomplished.

But, hey, but for me, it's hopeful.

I'm very hopeful about me?

About Stuff in my life and stuff.

You're just.

You're a really hopeful person.

Anyway, it is just an interesting juxtaposition that you're also the greatest hater I've ever met in my life, too.

It's just.

That's actually amazing that you can pull both off.

Oh, wow.

Thanks, Nikki.

I think she's Nicky.

She's coming for you, sir.

I see that.

Holy cow.

I mean, I think everybody sees it but you.

I mean, you know, that is a.

Very awesome comment right there.

It really is.

You know, it really is.

Holy cow.

You know, and the cool thing about that, that.

That shows that, you know, people be paying attention when they listen to the show.

So that's awesome.

No issue there.

But, yeah, so that.

That's my thing on that.

Anybody else got any extra comments on the.

On this question?

Well, actually, honestly, I wasn't really clear on how hopefully drives you.

I don't think.

I don't think you.

I don't know if you explained it or not.

So, like, with respect, so say you got your girl or whatever it is.

How.

How does hopeful drive you to be better?

And when I say better, I mean fundamentally improve who you are as a person, because there's no way in the world that you can go through a relationship and.

And hope and not hope, but go through a relationship and have it succeed if you're the same person that you were.

So how does hope drive you to be improved as a person?

Because a lot of things that you put out on the show is about, I ain't chasing for Jack.

She gonna be okay.

How do you change that?

How does hope drive you to change that?

So, aj, I think hope is, like.

He's hoping that somebody will come into his life that doesn't ask him to change anything.

To be fair.

Let him answer.

But that was funny.

I mean, so, I mean, as far as the question goes, the question is not the relationship part.

You know, the question is about what emotion controls people the most.

But to answer your question, I mean,.

Like, okay, well, how does that drive you to be.

Whatever.

Whatever you think the question was about?

How do you.

How does hope play into it, is what I'm asking.

Well, I mean, I'm.

I'm.

I'm very hopeful about things working out, you know, me doing something correctly, you know, not making too many mistakes.

Because, you know, I don't think I'm necessarily a perfect person by any means, but, you know, I want to make as many positive moves as possible, you know, and I hope that I have the I have the wherewithal to do that.

Like, I've been on the planet for a minute.

I mean, but we all make mistakes.

I just hope I make as little as possible, you know, But I've also been through a lot of things myself.

So it's just like, you know, between the.

Hope is a very positive emotion, and it's just like, I feel like for me, I need to stay positive in order to get to where I want to be and to get what I want.

So, like, as far as, you know, I would love to be in a relationship with a young lady you know, one day.

However, you know, I also understand is that I'm not a perfect person, but I hope that I will find somebody who will, you know, love me for me.

Now, as far as the whole not changing thing, I mean, yeah, there are certain things in life that I don't feel like anybody should necessarily change for somebody, but I hope that I would find somebody that will at least make me want to be better.

Because in my opinion, if that person doesn't, does it make me want to be better for them or at least better for myself, then why am I with them?

Like, I don't necessarily want to.

What's the terminology I want to use?

I love growth, and I've done a lot of growing since I turned 30.

Like, even though, you know, Late bloomer.

Yeah, I'll take that.

But, like, yeah, there's a lot I've learned because of being older and stuff like that.

I can only hope to.

To be a better person every day.

But, you know, as far as a relationship goes, you know, I.

My biggest thing is I don't have a problem and being better for myself, which will make me better for someone else.

Like, on a personal level now.

Yes.

Do I have my.

What are they called?

My.

My no checks?

Yes, your deal breaker.

My deal breakers.

Yeah.

I got deal breakers all day, you know, and I've spoken on many of them here.

And, you know, and sometimes I get challenged on my deal breakers.

But, you know, in the grand scheme of things, if she's worth it, then that will determine how.

How big of a deal breaker it is.

But, yeah, like the dog thing, bro, that.

That's.

That's.

That's a big one.

Like, because I think it's.

I don't.

I hate dogs for me, I don't hate dogs for other people.

However, you know, I'm just.

I'm not a dog person.

I'm not.

But if that's a.

And that's.

And that's the problem, Right.

Because like you said, newer times 480.

Well, what if she's smoking.

Smoking hot and she's everything you want, but she has a dog?

Then she's not everything I want because she has a dog.

Fair enough.

Fair enough.

You know, yeah.

If that's.

If that's.

And sometimes if that's the.

The.

The bridge, I'm gonna stand on that.

It is, like, it sucks for somebody.

I mean, that could be me, but, you know, if you don't.

What is it?

If you don't have.

Nah, it's not.

What if you don't start for something, you'll.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

And I mean, yeah, that may be total little on the total fold for some people, but for me, everything matters.

Especially at this point of my life, everything does matter, because I feel like everything is.

Every moment is super important, and I want to spend my life with the person I want to spend my life with and enjoy that time.

I don't want to have to necessarily deal with things I don't want to deal with, you know, and hopefully one day I'll find somebody who feels similar to that.

And if I do, great.

If I don't.

There are a whole bunch of people out here who are not married.

There are a whole bunch of single people out here here for.

For other reasons.

You know, if I fall in that category for my life, then I fall for that category of my life, you know?

You know, that's.

For me, that's kind of how I feel.

Nikki, man, she's just spitting it out today.

Sometimes relationships are like houses.

You won't always find your dream home, but you will find one that meets the base requirements that you can build into your dream.

That's very true.

Right.

And I dream not to live with a dog.

And I know that sounds super petty and super small, but.

Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of things I want to do that to me will require a dog.

Like, not to be able.

Like, I want to travel, man.

When I get older, I want to travel, like, and stuff like that.

I want to be able to just pick up and go.

And children are one thing and animals are another.

Like, it's hard to pick them and go when you have either.

Yes, Moby.

So I'd just like you to just be like, I don't like animals, period.

Don't.

Don't do the whole.

Because I want to be able to go because they got doggy daycare.

There's so many other ways to get.

Around that, but that's what I'M saying, right?

No, that's what I'm saying.

Hey, man, I'm just saying, man, you spend too much time defending your thing, man.

Like you keep saying and trying to minimize.

I know it might seem petty, might seem small.

No, man, it seems like you don't like animals, and that's okay.

Boom.

Hard stop.

You don't need to say nothing else, man.

Ain't nobody trying to make you feel bad about that.

It's a funny joke.

Absolutely, it's a funny joke.

It's a funny joke to be like.

If the hottest chick had a dog beside her, you'd be like, you know what?

That it's funny.

Funny, but funny and sad at the same time.

Why is it sad?

If that's what you want, why does that say it looks like it's something.

It's a prudent decision.

Well, yeah.

I mean, I would hope I'm never put in that position.

I mean, but I'm trying to say, why do you feel like.

Why do you want to label it like it's sad?

Well, I mean, because when it's all said and done, like, you can make decisions that could 1% help you, right?

And.

But, yeah, it's just a thing.

And, you know, I don't know, because you always feel like you're missing out on something.

At least I do, because I miss out on a lot, you know, so it's like, oh, Brumman, if you weren't this, you know, yada, yada, yada.

And, you know, and that's really.

That's.

That's kind of an issue for especially single people like myself.

Like, it's.

You know, why don't you lower your bar a little bit just to possibly be happy?

But I also feel like I shouldn't, you know, but I could miss out on something great because I chose not to lower my bar.

And honestly, some people lower their bar, and that's fine with them.

I'm just not.

I. I don't think I can be one of them because I've worked lowering your bar.

Bar like some.

Something that you hardline don't like.

That's not a lowering of your bar.

Well, no, you're right.

But that's what people say, right?

That's what people say when they want to judge you because you're not doing something that they think is easy, simple, or appropriate for them.

Like, you know, so this is what.

This is what I mean when I say guardrails and playing it safe.

It's like you.

You keep.

You.

You're Trying to say something and then protect it from judgment.

That means you're not putting your guardrails down.

Like.

I'm just saying, man, it's okay to just be like, man, them dogs.

You know what I'm saying?

I don't want.

I don't want a dog in my life.

I don't want no dog, no cat, no rabbit, no turtle.

If you got anything that you call a pet, I ain't with it.

Correct.

And boom.

And just drop the mic on that.

Ruben and I.

And I understand that.

However, I'm also still human, and I don't like being judged.

And that's what we need by the car.

I mean, look, when it's all said done, man, it's like we all have.

We all have feelings and stuff like that.

I'm not an.

Because of how I feel, but other people can treat you like one because of how you feel.

And sometimes you're.

Yeah, sometimes I just rather not be involved.

And that's why the answer is c. Sometimes for me.

You understand what I'm saying, though, right?

Yeah.

But ironically enough, this is the vulnerability that I love that you do right now.

This is.

This is like the fourth time now, because you've actually.

More than four times, man.

Okay.

If that's what you're thinking, great.

But in my world, which, if we're playing by your rules, I get to say say this four times.

So, ironically enough, this is a vulnerability that you lack on this show.

Not in real life, but on this show.

So I think all of this is funny.

But no, that's.

That what Mo saying is the reason I ask you, why are you labeling it as sad?

It's like, that is your hard line.

It's not sad.

It is what it is.

It is what it is.

Because there are certain things that I had in mind that I was going to, you know, and it's like, whatever.

I mean, if people judge you behind, you don't.

Like.