Welcome back to Dont get this Twisted

In this conversation, Robb and Tina explore the complexities of navigating today's social climate, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries, finding common ground, and using humor as a coping mechanism. They discuss the impact of social media on relationships and happiness, the generational differences in perspectives, and the necessity of embracing diverse opinions. The dialogue highlights the significance of personal choice in achieving happiness and the role of humor in dealing with life's challenges.

Explicit

DGTTwisted@gmail.com

Copyright 2024 Dont get this Twisted

This podcast and website represent the opinions of Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia and their guests to the show and website. The content here should not be interpreted as medical advice or any other type of advice from any other type of licensed professional. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare or other applicable licensed professional with any medical or other related questions. Views and opinions expressed in the podcast and website are our own and do not represent that of our places of work. While we make every effort to ensure that the information, we are sharing is accurate, we welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors. Privacy is of the utmost importance to us. All people, places, and scenarios mentioned in the podcast have been changed to protect confidentiality. This website or podcast should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever, including but not limited to establishing “standard of care” in a legal sense or as a basis for expert witness testimony related to the medical profession or any other licensed profession. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on the podcast or website. In no way does listening, reading, emailing, or interacting on social media with our content establish a doctor-patient relationship or relationship with any other type of licensed professional. Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia do not receive any money from any pharmaceutical industry for topics covered pertaining to medicine or medical in nature. If you find any errors in any of the content of this podcast, website, or blogs, please send a message through the “contact” page or email DGTTwisted@gmail.com. This podcast is owned by "Don’t Get This Twisted,” Robb Courtney.

Welcome to another show. get this twisted. I am Rob along with my co-host as always, Tina. How you doing, Tina?

I'm hanging in there. It's freaking hot again. What the hell's up with this weather? It's like the middle of summer and the fall time.

know.

Yeah, for sure. It's funny, well, and again, you know, people who don't realize that we actually see each other when we're doing it, you look like you're ready to fall down. I know you had a weekend.

We're going to have a hot, hot winter.

my God, so had a weekend. sold half of my baskets that I made. And mind you, I've been making baskets for two years, with the exception of several that I've given away as presents. But we had a really good turnout, and I was asked to do some stuff for Disney. And I've been asked to go to a couple of different colleges to do demonstrations. And that was all just from being there this weekend. So it was quite the weekend, but.

I am exhausted.

Yeah, I get that. You look like it. So again, we have a list of so many things that we always put on the side. And this time we're going to go with, know, can we really live in today's social climate without going bonkers? You know, man, it's so difficult with...

Yeah.

everyone at odds and with social media and politics and it's so hard now for I think people just to have friends without everything going sideways. You know what I mean? Like, you can't you.

I don't, I just keep boundaries with my friends. Like for instance, with, politics these days, like family doesn't talk to one another. And so when it comes to politics, I'll be like, I'm going to give you two minutes and then I need you to wrap it up. And I'm not going to take offense to how you feel. I'm going to hear you. But at that two minute mark, I'm done listening. And then we just drop it and go on to, we have to drop it and go on to something else. Cause I've made, I've made it be known that I need very.

Right.

very explicit detailed boundaries so that we could coexist

Mm-hmm.

because at any given time whatever I'm working or whatever the politics are, whichever way they're going, I see both sides, but I also see that both sides are a bunch of assholes, so I can't get on board of anything exactly.

I agree. look these days you have to have some kind of boundary with people. If not, people will throw you under the bus or call you whatever name they can come up with because you believe something different. You know, like heaven forbid you want to vote for Trump.

Mm-hmm.

And again, think it's like, here's my thing. I don't care who you vote for. It doesn't matter to me. That's why we have what we have in society today. We have this open market where you should be able to vote for whoever it is you vote for and still have friends that believe differently than you. But I think that we've made it a culture war about everything. And not just politics, everything.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

You know, whatever.

How you raise your kids, what you do with your parents when they get a certain age, what kind of car you drive, religion. The people fight over the lamest things.

Religion. Yep. It's...

Yeah, so I think that now everything is a without without getting horribly or making it sound bad. Everything's a war crime. Whatever you do is not enough. You could believe 98 percent of what your friends do. And if you say one bad thing, they're just like, I can't believe you're like that. Or you said this. And it's like, wait a second. I've always been this person.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

I remember way back when my friends said something about Trump during his first presidency and they were like, this guy's horrible. I said like, this is the best, the best four years I've ever had because I've made more money in the last four years than I've ever had. And my one, my best friend goes, so that's more important than these issues. And I went, cause those other issues don't pay my bills. I don't care.

Mm-hmm.

And I said, look, for you, awesome. If that's, if that's going, if that's what you're going for more power to you. And I don't think any less of you either, but other things are more important to me. Like putting food on the table and having a roof over my head is a number one. Yeah. And just in general, I think that's what most of us think. But I think that, that, and again, I don't want to say they, because they, who knows who they are, but you know,

I'm with you, especially with Evan a kid.

Mm-hmm.

the Karens

Well, but I mean, like the media or like they they want us divided or at least I think they do because I think most of us, I would say 95 to 98 % are in the middle. We all have our own beliefs. We all believe in different things. We all have friends who think differently, but we still talk to them at work and we still hang out with them when we can or we have a drink with them. Shoot the shit, talk about the things we like and then head off to the next thing.

Mm-hmm.

And, I mean, it must be really hard for you because you're in the hair business. So people talk the whole time.

Everybody talks to me Everybody it's I get calls for people to run things by me. I work behind the chair. So of course everybody's got something to say. It's exhausting It is exhausting, but I've learned how to just not have an opinion, you know, you just go Yeah, I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying here. Yeah, you're not you're not wrong there and I'll try to find

I'll try to find places to agree with them, but then I don't say anything. But I've kind of always been like that. I keep my opinions to myself because when I say something that's different than what my friends think, then I'm picking on them or I'm being mean or, you know, I've got judgment and that's not the case. You know, it's just me having an opinion, but

the way it's perceived is gonna be different. I try to keep a clear road on that and just not go there. Because truly do anybody's opinions pay my bills or take care of my shit? No. So do I really need to care about it? Not really. And I keep it like that.

Right. And I think that that that's it's funny that my friend down the street, that's like her biggest statement, exactly what you just said. What do I care? They don't pay my bills. People's opinions don't matter because they're not taking care of me. If you're if.

Mm-hmm.

And you're not supposed to know what other people think of you anyway. It's not your business.

I mean, close friends, think, yes. Look, me and you say a lot of things to each other. So we know where we stand on a lot of things. But I also think that there's things that we probably still and will never know about each other unless something takes us down that road. You know what I mean? Because we're pretty open. I mean, we've sat in some Denny's and...

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Well, there's nothing you can't tell me. You know, it's whatever you want to keep to you is, is yours, you know, but it's not like, it's not like you can't.

No, no, I agree.

Correct, and I think, no, exactly, that's not what I mean. Yeah, we both know we can say anything to us, to each other. That's not what I'm trying to say. I'm saying that whatever we keep close to the chest is for us for whatever reason. And I guarantee, well, I guarantee there's things, I didn't know a lot of things about you for a lot of years until we did a show about it. So think about that. Do you know what I mean?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah

Yeah, I do.

Because in our relationship, that didn't matter. That wasn't something that was going to start or stop our friendship. That's not what that was about. You kept it close to the chest for you, and that's fair. And...

Mm-hmm.

And like I said, I mean, even during my divorce, I think that there was probably things I didn't tell you. There was a lot that I'm sure, but I'm sure there was a lot that I probably floored you with and you were like, like maybe it wasn't like every marriage is good on the surface because that's what we want it to look like.

yeah.

Well, I didn't see it as being good. I, for some reason, your, your marriage just didn't sit right with me. I didn't say anything. I supported it because it's none of my business. Just like you supported mine and not everybody agreed with it. But, you know, you gotta let people go through whatever their lessons are on this earth. They got to learn that they got to go through it. They have to experience what they're going through. And, know, she was definitely a soul that was supposed to be with you. Otherwise you wouldn't have your son.

Alright.

Correct.

Exactly.

So, why would I say anything?

And I think that's with everyone. Look, we all have these trials and tribulations, right, of everything and everyone we meet. You know, the whole quote that we meet people for a reason is true. reasons we have friends for reasons are true. Look, my best friend and me, we are best friends of 40 years.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

most of the things we talk about are things that are still from our childhood. We're comic book fans, we're you know sports fans, we were into wrestling. Do we talk about real life? Sure, but not on the level that you would think best friends do. I talk to my friend down the street probably more as my best friend now than most because I think I can tell her anything and she doesn't judge me for it.

Mm-hmm.

And we both have kids and families and we have things that also we can bring each other together with. You know, like I don't talk to her about pop culture. We don't talk about Star Wars. You know, that's just not what we do. We talk about, hey, this is what's going on in my kid's life and your kid's life or.

Mm-hmm.

things that she's going through or I'm going through. So we all have those things for a reason. And thankfully with her, we talk about social media and both of us use it. We'll go on TikTok and we'll send things to each other and she gets a lot of recipes off there, whatever. But she said the other day, I just wish they'd all go away. And I went, yeah, so do I. And I said, wouldn't it be nice if we'd...

I don't know, I kind of like that we could get a hold of anybody we need to get a hold of. A push of a button. I like that.

No, but we're not talking about, but this is what I told her. said, you know, but we have to keep text messaging, FaceTime, you know, look, those are, those are great handy things to have. I still would prefer to talk to people. I loved, if I have a chance and every blue moon, I mean, I see her more now, so we hang out. But before I liked when we talked because it felt more real. Anyone can text each other and...

Mm-hmm.

I'll tell you, you know how many things have been lost in translation between people over a text message? shit ton. And you want to talk about blowing up social culture. Say the wrong thing out of context or something gets twisted one little word. You know, you're a bigot. You're a homophobe. It's like...

Mm-hmm.

Whoa, that's not what I meant. I kind of meant this. I think, you know, look, social media is great. It has its good parts. Look, we do a podcast where people listen to us talk about things. This is pretty much social media without the craziness or the, you know, the...

bombing of each other with things afterwards. We talk and if people listen, awesome. Every blue moon, we'll get somebody to write something and predominantly it's been good. But I can see where, look, people have listened to this show and when we had very large numbers and we did a show on abortion and they dropped. So obviously we ruffled somebody's feathers at some point.

Hmm.

which to me is the whole point of this show is to ruffle feathers and and talk. I again I will tell anyone who ever ever wants to come on this show and talk you're more than free to. I'll invite anyone on. I think that those are the things that are going to keep us in the middle rather than pushing us apart. The social culture is it's hard right now. I couldn't imagine being a young person.

Right?

Mm-hmm.

I just couldn't. I know my son, because I talked to him about those type of things. I was quite surprised to hear, look, we come from a culture that was different and you could have two different political ideologies and still be together, come from different religions, still be together. It was much easier.

I heard something now they said that young men under the age of 25 are turning conservative and young women under the age of 25 are turning leftist liberal like progressive crazies. So if you're a conservative woman under the age of 25, you're going to be fishing in a barrel for men. It's going to be, you're going to have the pick of the litter.

Mm-hmm.

because there's going to be way more conservative men. And my son, who I think is kind of a middle groundwalker, because we talk about certain ideologies, I think he's very much middle, but probably leans a little more right, but not a lot. He's a gun guy. He believes in free speech and a couple other things. Millennials, I think, are where it's really bad.

the, you know, they're so far away from each other on things and they're the ones that are pointing fingers at each other. I think the above forties to sixties, like our generation, Gen X, are just, eh, whatever. You don't, you know, I can go and hang out with you at the bar. We can talk all night. We can argue over politics and I'm still gonna hug you and we're gonna see each other in a couple of weeks.

Why do you think that our generation is like that just because we were fucking latchkey kids and...

exactly it.

because I think we grew up without all the bullshit. Like, I like social media, I like to catch up with my friends, but it doesn't change how I feel. The ones that are doing well and posting stuff, I'm like, hell yeah, I root for them because I think that we don't have enough good in this world. So if I'm seeing they're happy, I'm like, yes, I don't think you should put stuff on social media if you're not happy.

I think that just calls for everybody to be right smack in the middle of your problems and who wants that? But if you got a good head on your shoulders and you could be happy for your friends and you could not give a shit when they put something that you don't agree with on, it's fine. To me, social media doesn't affect me because I scroll through the shit I don't want to see and I don't think about it.

So true.

I don't stop for it to become an issue. So for me, I could just scroll it all day and, don't care, or just turn it off. But for the generations below us, because they grew up with that thing as their babysitter, how are they going to put it down and live a life? They can't even talk to each other. So I personally feel like our age group could definitely be happy.

Mm-hmm.

in today's settings with everything that goes on because I am happy. I worked really hard for my whole life to be happy. I was not a person that was happy when they woke up in the morning. That was never me. I was kind of bitchy until about 11. And then one day my ex said to me, know, you could wake up and choose to be happy tomorrow and you will be. And I didn't believe him. So I gave it a shot and it worked. So I kept doing it. And before I knew it, wasn't something I

It's true.

had to do, it was just something that I was. So no matter what's going on in today's social climate, I believe that we could be happy. But it's a choice, just like everything else in this world is.

Mm-hmm.

I agree with you. heard something that is pretty much what he told you, but the best way I heard it was this is that unhappiness is an inside job. You're only as unhappy as you continue to be unhappy. You can get up in the morning and go,

Mm-hmm.

You know, my friend down the street, she's been taking me to church a lot and I've been getting a lot from it. I mean a lot. But she said something one day and she goes, I wake up now and I go, I have a roof over my head. My kids are not sick. My mom's alive. look at, there is positives out there. Is there negatives? Absolutely. But you have to put the negatives on the back burner sometime. And.

It's true. Happiness is also an inside job. If you tell yourself you're happy and you continue to push to be happy, you're going to be happy. Are you going be happy all the time? No, because that's not realistic either. Fuck if you're happy 65 or 70 % of the time.

No, but you could change your general attitude towards life. And if you change your general attitude towards life, it's, you're gonna look for the happy in it, not the crappy. You know, and that's, that's how the, I, you know, I, my.

going go into this, but I'm going to go into this. With religion, we talk about heaven or hell on a lot of different levels. And I've come to the conclusion that we live in this constant state of heaven or hell. It's just what we make it. If we choose to be miserable, we're going to be living in hell. If we choose to be happy, then we're going to be living in heaven because there's no end to the possibilities on this earth that could happen. So how you look at things and your attitude

towards what you see will create the type of environment that you have. And that's just the way it is. So if you want to be miserable, you're more than welcome to. You could do it right here. Now there's a lot of shitty that goes on in this world and I get that. And there's things that even I can't be happy with. But it's situational, it's not...

like depression, you know what I mean? It's just these certain things really bother me and that's that. So I try to remind people where you're at right now, these problems are good to have. You're lucky to be alive. You're lucky you have a roof over your head. You're lucky you have enough money to buy you food. You're lucky that your kids still want to be around you. You're lucky that your car is driving now. Can you just take a moment and appreciate the fact you've got it okay?

because there's so many, so many reasons to not be happy, big ones, that we shouldn't be worrying about the little ones.

Agree.

Mm-hmm. Well, and...

No, and and look, I think like you just said, I think the flip side of that is though the little good things should be amazing. Right? Don't don't let the little bad things bring you down. Don't let the small happy things not get you up because I think that. Again, the social culture is just so angry right now. It's angry watch.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

You watch the news, you go on social media with the exception of TikTok. And I'm kind of glad I kind of went into that because there's a lot of things that I've at least for me that I'm finding that are a little more positive. And it's maybe just because my algorithm and I'm trying to find things that are like that. I'm trying to be more positive now.

Hmm.

I think that's my bigger thing. Like I said, regardless of what you believe in religion or where you're at, for me, going to church has been nothing but helpful. opening me...

You know, that makes me laugh about you though, because I remember when we were like 16, you're like, yeah, I don't believe in God, period. And I was like, really? So what do you, where do you put your faith or where, you know, where do you find your strength? And you're like, for me.

Mm-hmm.

I don't agree. I don't believe in God and I felt bad for you because I was like fuck because I don't believe in me enough in all situations that I've had in life. I've had to turn to God and say, okay, I'm just going to put this in your hands because I don't have the strength and I and and I had at 16 already dealt with some really heavy issues in my life that a lot of kids didn't have to.

Mm-hmm. Correct.

So when you said that I was like, how's he gonna get through when this happens or if that happens or you know, and it's good to hear now that you've changed your tune. mean, will you believe the same way I believe? Absolutely not. You're not supposed to. But I'm glad that you believe enough to make your life better.

Right, or I may.

Right, or I may believe exactly the way you believe. You know what I mean? Like, no, but do know what I mean? Like, I don't know. Look, this is new to me. Like, very new to me. I think I've seen things, you know, not to get off the topic of the social culture, but religion is kind of the social culture as well. You know, look, we all see things get placed

I know if you can, I'm kind of... I'm kind of off center a little bit. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

certain places, you know, my friend down the street just went, hey, listen to this guy on YouTube. And I was like, okay. She goes, you got to listen to him. name's Jack Hibbs. He's a preacher. Just listen to him. I was like, okay. And look, she's,

goes to church, even for her, skipped. You know, she didn't go all the time. And I started watching this guy, like, on my own. Like, it's not like I checked in with her, right? I was like, and then I would, I was, then I would, every Blue Moon, I'd go, hey, I watched Jack Did You, and she's like, no, I didn't watch it. I was like, I did, you should check out this episode, blah, blah. Well, now,

She goes to a church down the street from where I live.

She goes, do you want to come and check it out? She goes, I'm going with my friend. And I said, look, I'd be interested in going because I want to go see Jack Hibbs and he's not far from where we are. I mean, he's far, but not super far.

But she's like, do you want to go over here? And I was like, yeah. And look, the whole point too of religion is to have someone maybe help you see that. I started seeing things years ago to where I thought like, this just doesn't seem like it's not being pushed there by something else other than me. Do know what I mean?

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

This isn't just her. I think the going and stepping foot inside the four walls of a church definitely is her. Because I don't think, and look, I used to go, look, I went with somebody when we were 18, when I was 18, and you know her, and her grandparents owned a church, and it was nothing like where I've gone. Where I go now, I'm gonna fact, I was talking to my friend about that church and like...

You know, they were taking people up and like healing them and like it was a totally different a different thing. So.

And see, and I always enjoyed church and every time I went to that particular church, I slept. We always sat in the back and I just fell asleep. And so did she.

Yes.

And so does she. Yeah, I know. I was telling her that the other day. go to this church and it's, you know, they're talking about how heavy metal music's the devil and they're healing people and all this crap. And I lean over and she's snoozing on my shoulder. was like, what the hell is going on here? you know, what you do for your girlfriend? But and yeah, well, and

Well, what she did for her family too, because it did. She didn't want to be there.

And then there was another girl that I dated in like when I was 24, 25 and, you know, I lived with her, we bought a house together. Her grandparents owned a church and I went to that one as well, which is more like where we go now, a little more, I hate to say regular, but more of just a regular Christian church. Where I go now is very nice. It's...

It's just a good place. And I think that the social culture there obviously is different because they're all, you know, in the same faith and how they see things. But it's funny, you know, we go there and she kind of warned me before I went the first time. She goes, I'm just going to tell you, everyone's overly friendly. And I mean overly friendly.

And I was like, you know, whatever. And I had got there before she got there and it was wild. Like, and it's great. Don't get me wrong, but it is odd in the social culture we live in where everyone's like, hey, how you doing? Shake your hand. Nice that you're here. know, great for you to come. and it wasn't two people, teen. It was 50.

Like everyone said hi to you on Sunday morning and good morning and so it was a very, you know, it was a good thing to be outside of the, what you look at is the social culture of just being shitty because you go other places and people are shitty. Go to the store. People are shitty. My boy told me that he was driving up the street and he goes, look, I might've cut some lady off, but like I didn't mean to. And it wasn't, she pulled up, rolled her window down and started screaming at him.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

So you know what my son did? He goes, hold on a second, and he took his seatbelt off and he goes, get out of the fucking car. And she drove off. he wouldn't have got out of the car. But he was trying to show, look, stop. Yeah, okay, I'm sorry if I did this. So we're in a social culture now that is such a high level of anger. And I don't mean just for that.

it's it's ridiculous how even my my friends started saying that I have Tourette's while I'm driving because I'll be on the phone talking and all of a sudden you fucking asshole and then go back to my conversation. And apparently I'm doing this quite a bit. And so my friends are like, dude, what's going on with you? I'm like, apparently I'm being an asshole because I can't keep my shit together. But. Equally, it's the other people, too.

Like, you know, they expect you to get out of their way so that they can have their life. And I'm like, hello, I'm still trying to do mine too. Get, you know, wait your fucking turn. See, there's the Tourette's.

Mm-hmm, for sure. Yeah, no, and look, no, you're not. That's my job.

Because I'm not big cusser. know, there are my days, but yeah. But we've had discussions about you not cussing and you're like, no, teen, you need to cuss more. But now that I'm in the car and all this stuff is going on, excuse me, I can't keep my freaking mouth shut.

Yeah.

I bet you is it worse when you're on your bike?

No. No.

Really, I'm shocked because so many people don't see bikers and you get cut off a lot more.

I have a very big bike though and I'm not a small person so I think it adds to the size of it, but I'm also Yeah, it's it's very big. It's wide and but but I also think too I'm having such a good freaking time. I don't give a shit what anybody's doing You know as long as they're not hitting me. I'm like you have your way. I'm gonna just tool down the road And enjoy it. excuse me

I mean, I guess so, yeah, you're right, a trike is big.

Mm-hmm.

Right. No, I hear you. I think that there's something to that. I just don't know how we're going to curb this without it getting worse. And maybe it's just going to get worse before it gets better. I think our generation, it's not going to matter. We're getting older. Even though we use social media, we use it for probably not at the same level.

Mm-hmm.

But the social cultures are inside everywhere else. Like, look, if you're an older person, you're going to end up working with younger people who don't believe the same thing as you, and you're going to be a boomer, or even though we get called boomers and we're nowhere near that. So I think that it's just a different thing. And look, we're going to have to do it. But I think that the culture is hurting each other at every age. It's not just old people and young.

excuse me, young people. It's young people and young people. If you believe something different, you're like the enemy. And it's like, how can I get them fired? How can I ruin their life? It's like, wait a second, I just posted something on social media that if you don't agree with it, don't. And I think that's the bigger problem. We're at a part now where...

You know, I can read something on social media and scroll right fucking past it and like, And I have friends that are stout liberals, like super liberal, progressive liberal, and I just fucking ignore them. Boop, boop, boop, boop. Keep going. But heaven forbid I post something and I've been called all kinds of things by people that I thought were friends. And I'm like, But I come back around.

fucked up. See that's the thing is like why why would you use these tools to put so much validity into everything like you know by now I'll tell you what I use this shit for

Mm-hmm.

I wanna like look and make sure everybody's kids are growing and everything's looking cute. And then I wanna send dirty jokes. So all of my friends, and Rob could even attest to this, the only thing I'm sending is a dirty look, a dirty look, a dirty text, a dirty text or a, can you believe this shit's going on? Like never, it's never anything, do I ever offend you?

That too

Right. Yeah.

No, but I'm really hard to offend, So, look, we send memes to each other, we send memes to each other that I'm sure borderline would offend our friends.

I am too, but I don't like we keep it light.

No, my friends could take it. I tell them to tell me, I'm like, if you want to be like that, tell me, let's talk about this. And they do. There's times I'm like, really? You're going to be offended by that? And then I'll tell them to their face they're stupid. I'm like, don't get offended.

No, no, I didn't say they couldn't take it. They would just be offended and not tell you. You know what I mean? Like...

I sent some memes to my friend down the street that just happened to all come along my algorithm that were about oral sex. And she goes, are you trying to tell me something with a theme? And I go, it just happened to come across. And I ended up sending her one more and she goes, okay, you're done. And I was like, okay, like.

I'm okay with getting cut off if I have like and I didn't offend her. just think that she was like, okay, like enough of the this one like Because I went right back and sent her another joke right after that that she was like, okay, that's funny so it was just like enough of this type of joke like I get it and and look and that could be for a lot of different reasons between me and her and it could be a lot between a lot like me and my best friend who is Hispanic and

my other friend who's black are in the are in a group text together. We send shit to each other that is borderline the most racist, sexist, horrible shit, dark humor, like super dark. I mean as dark as my black friend. Ha, get it? That was good joke.

There it goes. There it goes.

Yeah, exactly. That's the kind of shit we send to each other. And like, have we offended each other? Probably. And if it's too far, we say something. But my friend who's black says horribly things about white people all the time. And I giggle because nine times out of ten, they're really fucking funny. They're just funny. Like, so I think you know your audience, right? Like, I know if you send me something.

You probably know, this isn't gonna affect him. It's like, or you don't care, which is, right, which is, but that's perfect. That's what we all need to do. Stop being fucking, you know, aluminum foil and start being Teflon.

Or I don't I don't care that's that's more I don't care I'm like you'll get over it like cuz I know that we have that real relationship

Yeah.

Let it hit you and slide the fuck off and go, okay, that's just his sense of humor or that's just their political view. Because if we don't, we're going to live in fucking misery. I'd rather live with a bunch of people who have dark senses of humor that talk about every look. Me and you have talked about a lot of different things and our moms obviously both aren't with us anymore. My mom couldn't have been

Mm-hmm.

She wasn't dead a year, I don't think. And at work, we were talking about taking, someone was talking about taking Mother's Day off. And I went, well, no reason for me to. She's dead. And I said it just like that. And like, it got really quiet around, like, and I was like, my mom would have laughed at that. It's funny. She's dead. Like, I can't change that part of the, of it. I don't need Mother's Day off anymore. So it's not a big deal. And I think

Yeah.

So that's how maybe that's just an unhealthy coping mechanism for me. Do know what I mean?

Is it unhealthy though? I don't think it is. When my mom passed away, we had just gotten her ashes and they were sitting on the kitchen table. And my cousin came in and I was sitting there and I said, hey baby, you need to put some lotion on your elbows. They're ashy. And he came back with your mama's ashy and the whole kitchen and living room went dead silent. Everybody was like, because I was the one that found my mom dead. We weren't expecting her to die.

You know, I just got her ashes from the crematorium. I think that's what it's called. and, and everybody, like, you could hear a pin drop and I thought that was the funniest freaking thing. Rude is all hell. mean, totally insensitive, but it was, it was a good one. And we laughed our asses off. And after that, your mama jokes became a thing that we say constantly now, but

Yes, exactly.

But amazing, that's amazing.

Yeah, which you should.

Yeah, well, we should. But that was the most inappropriate time for your mama joke and I got to laugh at that.

That I hate to say it, but you should high five that person every time you see them. That's an amazing joke.

Well, I just got him back with some of his your mama stuff We're really in in my family with me and my friends and my brother, especially We're very crude when it comes to your mama jokes. We don't hold back like your mama jokes are are the jokes and Yeah, and that's And it but it also taught me that life doesn't always have to be serious even though the situation is

It's.

That's top notch. I hate to say it. That's a top notch joke.

Here's my thing about things like that, social culture in general. What you said, what you and your brother said at your mom's casket says it all. Do you see what I mean? And if you haven't listened to the show, you need to go back and listen to shows, because Tina said this. Tell them, but you have to go back and listen to it, because you've said it a lot, and it's a classic. And it just goes to show you that like you...

Should I just tell them?

Even in death, you still saw your mom for who she was. Because none of us want our mom to die, but you still saw something in the moment that reminded you of who she was. And that's what's great about it. Say the joke or say what you said.

Mm-mm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're right. So my...

At the time that my mom died, everything in my world was pretty much imploding in huge ways. Like the loss that I was going through was immense. And when my mom died, I pretty much couldn't take more, although more came after she passed. But at that point I was just hit. I had found her dead, wasn't expecting her to die. It was two days before one of my best friend's weddings. Like I was in a different frame of mind and I couldn't get into the house. So I came through the back door into the kitchen. I saw that she

was dead and for a half hour I couldn't even get into my phone because I had the lock on it I couldn't remember the number and I was in a bad place so I finally got the thing open and got everybody there and everybody was there for me and nobody left my side so the day that my mom's funeral happened my brother said don't go up without me I'm gonna go and see her with you and I said okay so I got there first and I waited in the back because my brother told me to and we walked up together

And we're holding on to each other and we're very close to each other and we're we're just looking at her and the energy between us was just getting really hard to bear and And I looked at him and I said god, Teddy I said look at her look at her hair She's got bangs they took they took the part of her hair that she had been burning lighting her cigarette on a stove and They made they made like forward

tubular bangs out of it and and and I go take a look at her bangs and we He looked and we started laughing and we couldn't stop laughing the whole place went dead silent because all they saw is us leaning into each other and our we were bouncing because we were laughing but it was quiet, but it was we were in hysterics for for quite a bit and people to this day come up and you know

Clients that went to my mom's funeral and they said my god It broke my heart when you and your brother went up there and you just started sobbing and I tell him I said we weren't sobbing I was making fun of her bangs and And everybody was like you mean you broke my heart for nothing That's what everybody seems to tell me that that that just hurt my heart so much and I'm like well it was a moment but the moment was us was us laughing because My mom had a sick sense of humor. She had a shirt that I wanted to bear

Yeah

or bury her in that said it's only funny till somebody gets hurt then it's hilarious and that was her sense of humor like she used to laugh at the most inappropriate times and I do the same and my brother's not one to let go but he's a little more a little less out there on it I'm just like

laughing my head off and everybody knows but I also tell people if I fall or if I do something that I would laugh at you at you better catch me when I'm falling because I can't help it either way it's just the sense of humor that she raised us to have and so you know we you got to learn

Exactly.

You know, the energy, when the energy gets too much, my brother and I can't deal seriously. We go straight to humor because that's the way that we cope. But I got to tell you, it's better than going into that, that hole that just is bigger and bigger and yet it's emptier and more and more.

hurtful like I can't do that spiral so we've learned to To make fun of her being ashy to make fun of her bangs to make fun that she burnt her Her hair all the time trying to a cigarette on the stove like that was her that was her we didn't like this she did that at the time but now we make fun of it because that's who she was and I and I think that we've all got to get a little bit thicker of a skin and and and I I Was told by one of my family members. I'm offended

Exactly.

I'm offended and I said I don't give a fuck if you're offended I've never cared if you get offended a matter of fact is I go lives to try to offend people with what I say so why would you think I care now like it's not gonna happen and and we all need to get that that thicker skin we just do

Exactly.

I agree. And I think, look, at the end of the day, if we all get thicker skin, the social climate will just be better. We'll all have friends. We'll all be OK. We'll all, you know, not be at odds with each other. And I think that this is a problem like where people live today, right? And they don't talk to each other in public because they're so

Mm-hmm.

afraid to see what's going to happen next. Are these people going to like me? Are they going to say anything? If I say the wrong thing, they're going to do this. It's like I couldn't imagine, you know, the climate of working in a of places today and and worrying about if you say one little thing wrong that the whole world is going to come down on you. Like literally, people are going to try to take your job.

Okay.

Mm-hmm.

you know, call your boss, tell all your friends, get you kicked off this. It's like, look, I just want to live. I want to go to work, have some fun, have some laughs with my friends. If I offend you, whatever, be offended. Like that's your prerogative. And if you don't like me, that's fine, but you shouldn't try to ruin my life because I'm not going to try to ruin yours. I'm just going to go, yeah, that guy's a fucking asshole and move on.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Exactly. I mean, you don't need to put people so far in your life that they have so much of an opinion that you're always struggling to be happy. Like, just keep them at bay and enjoy your life and don't look back.

Exactly. And just try to have a good time. You know, none of us get out of this shit alive. So at the end of the day, you know, we're, we're not, we're not going to, we're not going to look back on our lives and go, man, if I would have just got that guy fired, I'd be happier.

Seriously.

That's for sure.

You know what amazes me is I was too dark for my white side of the family and too white for the dark side of the family. I never really felt like I fit in.

And now I look at fa- and I didn't want to be around family, I didn't want to hear their shit, I didn't want to hear their opinions, that everybody had one and they were all crazy according to me. So I had a really hard time with it. But as they've all gone, I think to myself, what a waste. Like we all let time go by that we're not ever going to get back because we were what, we didn't want to deal with somebody or we didn't want to be offended. My whole

philosophy was kick her ass and then you know everybody will get right because you bully a bully and then it's good, know, like Once you do that, they won't bully you anymore But now everybody's just so uptight like you can't take a joke. You can't take somebody's opinions Come on if you're that offended go sit in a fucking hole somewhere because you need not be around society because society is supposed to They're supposed to stimulate your mind. They're supposed

Right.

to cause you to think and grow and change and evolve and you can't if you're not hearing people's opinions. Just can't.

Correct. That's the only way we're ever going to grow as a society. We have to have different opinions. We have to. It's the only way that we're going to survive as a culture, I think. And look, just try to be open to stuff. And if you're offended, move on. Stop.

Mm-hmm, or I get to know somebody

If you're offended, stay away.

and stop living on social media, it's not real. Everything you see is a crock of shit, none of it's real. all right, darlin', it's been fun. Anything you wanna say here at the end of our lovely 45 minutes? Yes, I agree, and we'll see you next Wednesday. Check us out on the social medias when we're on.

Yep, it's definitely not.

Have a good week.

Check us out on anywhere that you can see one of these or listen to one of these shows. We're everywhere. Please share it with your friends. Make sure they all know about the craziness that we talk about. Feel free to get a hold of us and we'd love to have you on the show until next week. That's Tina over there. I'm Rob. It's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. We'll see you in a week. Bye.

See ya.