What drives us? Why do we experience emotions? What brings about governed vs ungoverned behavior? How do we make decisions? Can we really master our lives by mastering our minds....
Join Dr John Demartini, human behavior expert for an introduction to this fascinating topic, he'll cover the core basics that will help you to value having an understanding of human behavior
Walk away understanding yourself, and those around you on a deeper level.
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Mentioned in this episode:
The Breakthrough Experience
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Human behavior is doing everything it can in your life to guide you to your
Speaker:authentic self. It's guiding you to the most profound you.
Speaker:It's guiding you to power that you have in all areas of your life.
Speaker:Every human being including you and the people you care about and the people you
Speaker:interact with, at any one moment in your interaction,
Speaker:is living by a set of priorities, a set of values,
Speaker:things that are most to least important in their life.
Speaker:And I really can't do justice to human behavior without discussing values.
Speaker:I discuss them in almost every presentation I do.
Speaker:But this set of values is unique to them.
Speaker:It's a culmination of all the experiences and all the voids,
Speaker:all the judgments,
Speaker:that they think are not the way they imagined their life to be.
Speaker:For instance,
Speaker:if you believe that you were to be treated a certain way as a child and you
Speaker:didn't get the treatment you thought,
Speaker:you might have thought 'I missed out on something',
Speaker:and that judgment is a void that you now are trying to navigate your life to try
Speaker:to fill. Whatever is most missing becomes most important.
Speaker:Our voids drive our values.
Speaker:So our human behavior is built of that because our hierarchy of values,
Speaker:our set of priorities that we live by, dictate how we perceive, decide and act.
Speaker:All of our human behavior.
Speaker:And anything that we perceive that supports us in
Speaker:we label good and we attract to it and open up to it and have an impulse to seek
Speaker:it and consume it, you might say, or let it come into our life.
Speaker:Anything that we see challenging our values, we tend to withdraw from it,
Speaker:have an instinct from it and label it something bad and avoid it
Speaker:like a predator. We seek a prey, we avoid a predator.
Speaker:We seek something that is food. We avoid being eaten, you might say.
Speaker:Now no two people have the same hierarchy of values
Speaker:and no two people have the same pathway in navigating it through their life.
Speaker:And they have a different vantage point and a perspective on anything.
Speaker:That's why 10 people could take the same accident and describe it differently,
Speaker:or the same event.
Speaker:But everybody's trying to fulfill what they value most.
Speaker:And nobody's trying to go to school.
Speaker:No kids are going to school because they want to just go study those classes
Speaker:necessarily. They want to go study what's important and meaningful to them.
Speaker:And whatever's most fulfilling to them is what they're pursuing.
Speaker:If they can see how the classes at school are helping them fulfill that,
Speaker:they're engaged in school.
Speaker:Nobody goes to work at a company for the sake of a company.
Speaker:They go to work because they want to fulfill their values.
Speaker:If they feel that the job description and the mission of the company and the
Speaker:objective of the company are helping them fulfill what they value most,
Speaker:they're engaged in the company.
Speaker:And as shocking as this may sound, because all you romantics out there possibly,
Speaker:nobody gets in a relationship unless they perceive it's going to give them
Speaker:more advantage than disadvantage to what they value most.
Speaker:I've asked thousands, tens of thousands of people,
Speaker:when they're looking for a relationship what are they looking for,
Speaker:and they're looking for somebody who's fit,
Speaker:they're looking for somebody who's intelligent,
Speaker:they're looking for somebody that's ambitious.
Speaker:They're looking for somebody that's got some resources,
Speaker:at least as much as them, if not more.
Speaker:They're looking for somebody that cares about them and wants them, desires them.
Speaker:They're looking for somebody that's socially connected
Speaker:get along with the people that they care about.
Speaker:They're looking for somebody that's inspired by something.
Speaker:They're wanting the best package they can to help them fulfill the empowerment
Speaker:of all areas of their life and what they value most.
Speaker:So even our relationships are driven by our values. Our social interaction,
Speaker:we have in group and out group biases based on what we believe will give us more
Speaker:advantage than disadvantage on the people we hang out with.
Speaker:And our physical body is actually creating signs and symptoms,
Speaker:anytime we don't feel we're fulfilling our highest values and not living by
Speaker:priorities our body creates symptoms to let us know,
Speaker:to get us back onto track to our real identity. In fact,
Speaker:our ontological identity, our real identity revolves
Speaker:Our purpose revolves around it.
Speaker:And what we excel at revolves around our highest value.
Speaker:So if you look very carefully,
Speaker:our highest value is really one of the most important things we can learn.
Speaker:I've been teaching a program called The Breakthrough Experience for 34 years,
Speaker:and that's one of the most important things I try to get people to do because
Speaker:most people are comparing themselves to other people,
Speaker:putting them on pedestals sometimes, or putting them in pits,
Speaker:and minimizing themselves or exaggerating themselves and not being authentic
Speaker:and then trying to get themselves to live in other people's values,
Speaker:which is futile or trying to get others to live in their values,
Speaker:which is futile. And that's a non-sustainable state.
Speaker:But if we actually are living by our highest values, the blood, glucose,
Speaker:and oxygen goes into the forebrain. We wake up our most objective forebrain,
Speaker:medial prefrontal cortex executive center, where we're more balanced in view,
Speaker:less judgmental in view, less biased in views, less discriminatory,
Speaker:more objective and neutral.
Speaker:And we're able to see things more balanced and level the playing field where we
Speaker:don't put people on pedestals or pits, we put them in our heart.
Speaker:And everybody wants to be loved and appreciated for who they are,
Speaker:and who they are is an expression of their highest values.
Speaker:So if they fill their day with high priority actions
Speaker:and inspiring to them,
Speaker:they increase the probability of having fulfillment and achievement and
Speaker:less noise in the brain.
Speaker:Because anytime we infatuate with something or resents something,
Speaker:it occupies space and time in our mind and runs us and distracts us.
Speaker:And it's all the noise.
Speaker:Anybody that's done meditation knows when they sit in meditation initially,
Speaker:there's all this noise in the brain.
Speaker:All that noise is is all the infatuation resentments that are stored in our
Speaker:subconscious mind trying to find an equal and opposite to balance it,
Speaker:to liberate us. And the meditation can help us sometimes do that.
Speaker:But I've also developed new tools and methods to help people dissolve the
Speaker:emotional baggage that's running their minds, distracting them,
Speaker:all the impulses and instincts, all the thing that's vying for attention,
Speaker:that's noise. The static, the confusion, the baggage,
Speaker:the weighing down part of our life and neutralize it.
Speaker:And I always say the quality of your life is based on the quality of the
Speaker:questions you ask.
Speaker:If you ask quality questions that bring balance to the mind and wake up the
Speaker:intuitive, integrated part of the brain, which is this medial prefrontal cortex,
Speaker:and which is our identity, you might say,
Speaker:our self revolves around that integrated self in the brain,
Speaker:we're not in our personas that are our masks and our facades and our judgments
Speaker:and our, where we weigh ourselves down,
Speaker:and we have a clear consciousness and we empower that.
Speaker:And we're then inspired by that,
Speaker:which is what people are wanting in relationships,
Speaker:and our IQ and our EQ,
Speaker:emotional quotient is balanced.
Speaker:Every time we live by highest priority our emotional quotient goes up,
Speaker:in a sense of governance, self-governance.
Speaker:Our IQ goes up because we're able to handle more abstract and more integrated
Speaker:things in our perception, integrated perceptions.
Speaker:But our business also goes up because when we exaggerate ourselves and we talk
Speaker:down to our customer or employees, we eventually get humbled.
Speaker:And if we minimize ourselves and let them go run wild, we got chaos.
Speaker:But if we level the playing field and realize that they're important,
Speaker:the customer's important,
Speaker:we're important and we have a fair exchange that's sustainable,
Speaker:there's less noise in the brain, there's more sustainable fair exchange,
Speaker:there's more likely to be profits and people want to continue to do business and
Speaker:you want to get up in the morning and do business with them.
Speaker:And you can't wait to see them, they can't wait to see you.
Speaker:And so your business is enhanced by authenticity.
Speaker:Your mind is cleared by authenticity.
Speaker:Authenticity is an expression of your highest value. And in finance,
Speaker:as Warren Buffett says,
Speaker:don't expect to manage money if you can't manage your emotions.
Speaker:And whenever we're not living up by our highest value,
Speaker:when we're not in our most authentic state, our identity,
Speaker:and we're trying to be somebody we're not by puffing ourself up or beating
Speaker:ourself up,
Speaker:by putting others on pedestals or pits or putting them in pits and the
Speaker:pedestals, whenever we have an imbalanced system like that,
Speaker:we don't know how to manage money.
Speaker:We get into narcissism and want to get something for nothing, or altruism,
Speaker:want to give something for nothing,
Speaker:which undermines the receiving of money or the management of money.
Speaker:So that's why in the Breakthrough Experience,
Speaker:I teach people the Demartini Method on how to manage those emotions that are
Speaker:distracting you from being present, that are authentic for you,
Speaker:and allow you to actually be really, really, really authentic to yourself.
Speaker:That's where the power is. That's why in the the Breakthrough Experience,
Speaker:I talk about the values and how important it is to identify your values and to
Speaker:prioritize your values and to delegate lower priority things and to live
Speaker:strategically and tactically according to what your values are.
Speaker:And then to take the emotions that you've been storing in the past and dissolve
Speaker:those so you're liberated and empowered in all areas of your life.
Speaker:But your noise in the brain is cleared and the business is automatically now
Speaker:more likely to prosper, your finances are more stable.
Speaker:You're more likely to feel self-worth.
Speaker:Because whenever you're living by your highest value,
Speaker:your self-worth goes up and you have less emotional baggage,
Speaker:less greed and fear, which is the things that undermines wealth building,
Speaker:and less emotions which distract you from being present and objective when
Speaker:you're buying real assets to build wealth by. And in relationships,
Speaker:people want to be loved for who they are and who they are is an expression of
Speaker:what they value most. And so all of human behavior revolves around these values,
Speaker:and your communication with somebody you love,
Speaker:when you can see how what their highest values are and what they're dedicated to
Speaker:and what they feel called to fulfill is helping you fulfill yours,
Speaker:and you can see how yours is fulfilling theirs, you have a dialogue,
Speaker:you have respect, you have love, you have a stable relationship,
Speaker:which I think is what people want. And in social life,
Speaker:when you're living by your highest values you're more of a leader.
Speaker:Because that's where you're spontaneously inspired to act.
Speaker:That's where you automatically do things without having to be motivated or
Speaker:reminded and incentivized externally.
Speaker:That's when you're called into action and you lead the path. In fact,
Speaker:original ideas and creativity and genius is born when you're pursuing challenges
Speaker:that inspire you in your highest value, and when you're most authentic.
Speaker:That's why authenticity is the key to genius in the mind,
Speaker:and creating original ideas for the world.
Speaker:And I think people want to make a difference and that's how they do it.
Speaker:It's the key to helping you grow business.
Speaker:This living by the highest values is the key to mastering business and scaling
Speaker:up business. It's the key to wealth building.
Speaker:It's the key to relationship building. It's the key to leadership.
Speaker:And when you live by your highest value and you're more balanced in your
Speaker:perspective and temperate and moderate, as the stoics used to say,
Speaker:you found the golden mean as Aristotle wished people could find,
Speaker:and not be in their animal passions all the time,
Speaker:distracted by the impulses and instincts that distract us,
Speaker:which are all the consumptions,
Speaker:over consumption and debt production and the separation in pain and pleasure,
Speaker:instead of the integration of them, which I call love.
Speaker:And the second you do that, your physical body will give you less symptoms.
Speaker:Your symptoms of your body, your physiological and psychological symptoms,
Speaker:and your sociological and business symptoms are feedback
Speaker:back to your authentic self and your highest value.
Speaker:I guarantee if a person will start to prioritize their life and as we teach
Speaker:in the Breakthrough Experience, if they start prioritizing their life,
Speaker:their life changes. But most people think, well, I got things to put out,
Speaker:I got fires to put out.
Speaker:They got things that are on their mind and they let that run their life.
Speaker:The fear of being rejected, the fear of not fitting in, all these fears,
Speaker:the fear of not being smart enough, the fear of failing,
Speaker:the fear of not having enough wealth, the fear of losing loved ones,
Speaker:the fear of rejection, the fear of ill health, death, or disease,
Speaker:or the fear of not being living by some moral and ethic to some spiritual
Speaker:authority, you're subordinated to. These are what hold people back.
Speaker:And if you live by your highest values,
Speaker:you give yourself permission to be the leader.
Speaker:You start to physiologically bring yourself to homeostasis.
Speaker:You bring yourself to the autonomic regulation instead of dysregulation.
Speaker:Your epigenetics then code your physiology for mastery and eustress instead of
Speaker:distress, which is wellness promoting, not illness promoting.
Speaker:And you're inspired by your life because when you live by your highest value,
Speaker:that's where you have the most inspiration in life.
Speaker:You're most dedicated to fulfill what's meaningful to you.
Speaker:So there's no way I can talk about human behavior and understanding human
Speaker:behavior without talking about values.
Speaker:Some of you heard me mention values in many different talks and it's because
Speaker:it's the foundation. 50 years ago I set out to be a teacher,
Speaker:travel the world and teach. 45 years ago, I learned the significance,
Speaker:and the most significant component of that,
Speaker:which is how to master your life by knowing what your values are.
Speaker:That's why I have it free on my website, drdemartini.com.
Speaker:There's a free Value Determination process there.
Speaker:That's why every talk I do revolves around that.
Speaker:That's why the Breakthrough Experience,
Speaker:which is how to breakthrough whatever you perceive in the way and turn it on the
Speaker:way, is based on that.
Speaker:Because the quality of your life is based on the quality of the questions you
Speaker:ask.
Speaker:And if you ask amazing questions to be able to balance out your perceptions,
Speaker:balance out your actions, you bring homeostasis and order to your life.
Speaker:If you want to find the hidden order in your life and not live with the apparent
Speaker:chaos,
Speaker:I tell people to come to the Breakthrough Experience and go online and do the
Speaker:Value Determination and take advantage of these complimentary talks that I'm
Speaker:giving because there's a lot of gold in there,
Speaker:there's a lot of great information in there.
Speaker:I've been studying 50 years on this topic and I know that if,
Speaker:I've seen it with thousands and thousands of people,
Speaker:when they apply the principles that I'm sharing, they see the results.
Speaker:So I know if you listen to this again and again and again and start thinking
Speaker:about it and put it into operation and come to the Breakthrough Experience where
Speaker:I can make you actually do it and learn it, you know,
Speaker:there I actually sit down for eight hours and teach you how to do the method on
Speaker:how to dissolve emotional baggage, the grief, the resentments, the infatuations,
Speaker:the pride, the shame, all the things that are inauthentic,
Speaker:that distract you from being present and poised and powerful and productive and
Speaker:prioritized and really, you know, purposeful in your life.
Speaker:If if you want to dissolve the distraction, there's a science for it.
Speaker:And if you then prioritize your life and live by priorities and really get clear
Speaker:about who you are and what your identity's revolved around,
Speaker:what your real mission is in life. There's no, you know,
Speaker:universal mission that we all have,
Speaker:but there's a mission for each of us based on our voids and our values and based
Speaker:on our perceptions, decisions, and our values dictate that.
Speaker:And helping people identify that I love doing. Because when they,
Speaker:because as long as you're setting goals and objectives that,
Speaker:or goals that are not, and fantasies that are not aligned with what you value,
Speaker:you're going to beat yourself up. And a lot of the self-help gurus out there,
Speaker:they like to sell you on the idea, well, you got a weakness,
Speaker:you got a self-sabotage, you can't stay focused, you're undisciplined,
Speaker:you know, you got all kind of baggage in there.
Speaker:Everything that's going on in your life,
Speaker:every symptom in your life is a feedback mechanism to help you be authentic.
Speaker:The limiting beliefs you have are only because you've subordinated to the
Speaker:outside authorities and given power to them and put them on pedestals,
Speaker:injected their values and now confused yourself and clouded the clarity of your
Speaker:own calling in life that is trying to call you to do something amazing.
Speaker:That's why I love breaking through that in the Breakthrough Experience and
Speaker:showing people how to get clear,
Speaker:before they get labeled by somebody and then sold some BS that's basically not
Speaker:even a real issue. People say, well I've sabotaged,
Speaker:I've not seen sabotage in 50 years.
Speaker:I've seen people expect themselves to live outside their own true values,
Speaker:not know who they are, not know what their values are,
Speaker:and they have no governance on themselves because they're living in lower
Speaker:values, which is designed to do that. The more you're live in your lower values,
Speaker:the more the amygdala runs your life and the more you let the impulses and
Speaker:instincts and distractions of the external world distract you from being present
Speaker:with who you are. And that's not sabotage,
Speaker:that's the body doing its job to try to guide you back to yourself.
Speaker:But you're not willing to be yourself because you're afraid of not fitting in
Speaker:and afraid of maybe losing loved ones that you think are loved ones that you're
Speaker:actually infatuated with and dependent on.
Speaker:There's a way more powerful place to play in. And you don't have to be labeled,
Speaker:you don't have to get rid of any part of yourself to love yourself.
Speaker:You don't have to fix yourself or get improve yourself.
Speaker:That's not what it's about. For years, I thought that was so,
Speaker:back in the seventies and eighties,
Speaker:but I'm absolutely certain that the magnificence of who you are is there,
Speaker:but we're not seeing it. We don't make mistakes in our own values.
Speaker:We make mistakes when we compare our daily actions to what other people's values
Speaker:are.
Speaker:The second we put somebody on a pedestal and we think they're smarter than us,
Speaker:better than us, greater than us, more intelligent than us,
Speaker:and we inject their values and cloud the clarity of our own,
Speaker:we'll then judge ourself by that and think we're making a mistake because we're
Speaker:not living in their values. Einstein warned against this,
Speaker:he said a cat that's expecting to swim like a fish is going to end up beating
Speaker:itself up,
Speaker:and a fish that's expecting to climb a tree like a cat's going to beat itself
Speaker:up, but a cat's not going to beat itself up when it honors who it is,
Speaker:which is a tree climbing cat.
Speaker:So I don't want you to be second at being somebody else.
Speaker:I want you to be first at being you.
Speaker:I don't want you to be living in the shadow of somebody.
Speaker:I want you to stand on their shoulders and realize that whatever you see in
Speaker:them, you have inside you and give yourself permission to shine, not shrink.
Speaker:That's what the Breakthrough Experience is about.
Speaker:That's for people that want to take off and get on with their life and do
Speaker:something extraordinary and stop running the story and being a victim of their
Speaker:history so they they can be masters of their destiny.
Speaker:So that's what human behavior's about.
Speaker:Human behavior is everything that's going on in your life,
Speaker:that's a feedback mechanism to try to help you be the most magnificent you.
Speaker:If you know how to interpret what's going on in your life,
Speaker:you'll be grateful for what's happening. And once you do,
Speaker:you see things on the way not in the way,
Speaker:and you're actually able to take command of your life.
Speaker:The way you take command of your life is just be yourself.
Speaker:The old delphic oracle, know thyself, be thyself,
Speaker:love thyself has got more wisdom than first meets the eye. But the question is,
Speaker:who is that? And that's your highest value.
Speaker:That's why I want you to go on the website and do the Value Determination.
Speaker:That's why I want you to come to the Breakthrough Experience so I can make sure
Speaker:you do it accurately so you don't lie to yourself and not get distracted.
Speaker:And that's why I'm asking you to go and do the Breakthrough Experience to learn
Speaker:the Demartini Method,
Speaker:which I think in my opinion is going to be the most efficient
Speaker:tool you'll find in your life to be able to dissolve the stuff that's
Speaker:distracting you from being the magnificent you, the present you.
Speaker:If you knew that method you'd be there I can tell you that,
Speaker:because people that have been through that they usually join me and learn how to
Speaker:use the method to help other people, their loved ones, their families.
Speaker:Because it's a very powerful method on how to dissolve the baggage that's
Speaker:distracting you from being the magnificent you.
Speaker:So human behavior is doing everything it can in your life to guide you to your
Speaker:authentic self. It's guiding you to the most profound you,
Speaker:it's guiding you to power that you have, in all areas of your life.
Speaker:You want somebody like that and you want to live that way,
Speaker:and there's no reason why you can't.
Speaker:So don't sit there and beat yourself up and compare yourself to others.
Speaker:Let's take what we're doing and compare our daily actions to what we value most
Speaker:and get back on priority and take advantage of knowing what your values are,
Speaker:prioritizing your life, delegating lower priority things,
Speaker:and coming to the Breakthrough Experience
Speaker:so I can show you 26 hours of material,
Speaker:I just gave you 25 minutes, 30 minutes of something here.
Speaker:But imagine if all of a sudden you had 26 hours,
Speaker:that's a lot more than that and I'm absolutely certain,
Speaker:26 times this is, that's 50 times what I'm giving you here.
Speaker:And if you got anything out of this little process here,
Speaker:I guarantee you 50 times that is what you can have.
Speaker:And if you want to come and join me for that because I'd like to actually work
Speaker:with you one-on-one to help you do that.
Speaker:And I know that if you will give yourself permission to be the most magnificent
Speaker:you, the most authentic you, you're going to have the most fulfillment in life.
Speaker:When we live our values, live according to our highest values,
Speaker:we have fulfillment. When we try not to and try to be somebody we're not,
Speaker:we have unfulfillment.
Speaker:The unfulfillment is a feedback to guide us back to true self.
Speaker:So you don't have to get rid of any part of yourself to love yourself.
Speaker:There's nothing missing in you.
Speaker:The things that you think are missing in you are only the things you're too
Speaker:proud or too humble to admit you have that you judge in others and also in
Speaker:yourself. So come to the Breakthrough Experience.
Speaker:Let me show you how to transform that and to be able to go and live by priority
Speaker:and lead. You have a leader inside. You have a genius inside.
Speaker:You have a success inside. You have a wealthy individual inside.
Speaker:You have the empowerment of all seven areas in life.
Speaker:I started working when I was 18 years old on wanting to empower all areas of my
Speaker:life.
Speaker:I've studied all these years on that science and I know that the principles
Speaker:work.
Speaker:It's just a matter of getting them into your brain and getting them used and
Speaker:watch the results. So come and join me at the Breakthrough Experience.
Speaker:Take advantage of this, watch this more than once.
Speaker:Take advantage ofthis little class I do every weekly. Go on the website,
Speaker:get the Value Determination process.
Speaker:Go on and look at our podcast because there's tons,
Speaker:that way you can just spend hours doing it on the Dr Demartini show.
Speaker:And go look online for some of the articles and things that are in the media
Speaker:package in our website because there is just a plethora, I mean,
Speaker:I've written for 1,532 magazines around the world and there just tons of
Speaker:information to educate. But come to the Breakthrough where I get to do it live.
Speaker:That's where I love to watch transformations. At
Speaker:I ask people every week,
Speaker:how many of you learned something this weekend you could have gone your entire
Speaker:life and if you hadn't had been here, you would never have learned?
Speaker:Every hand goes up. So if you want to learn some original thinking,
Speaker:some novel ideas on how to master your life and how to be authentic and how
Speaker:to master human behavior and understand it and apply it,
Speaker:come to the Breakthrough Experience. I've said it.
Speaker:I want you to come because I know it'd make a difference in your life. Anyway,
Speaker:this is Dr Demartini. I look forward to seeing you next week.
Speaker:Thank you for joining me today. I know I've spoke a bit fast.
Speaker:I get going and I get kind of inspired by what I'm sharing and,
Speaker:but you can watch it again if you need to. And but just know,
Speaker:I just can't wait to actually work with you one-on-one to make a difference in
Speaker:your life.
Speaker:So I'll see you at the Breakthrough Experience and I'll see you next week at