Sometimes, the most powerful words are the simplest. In this deeply human episode, Will Wagner shares how small mindset shifts, support systems, and honest conversations helped him rebuild his life after a suicide attempt. This is more than a podcast—it’s a reminder that even in your darkest moments, your story isn’t over.
This episode features a compelling dialogue with Will Wagner, a master electrician and suicide attempt survivor, who shares his harrowing yet inspiring journey through mental health struggles. Wagner's narrative is a poignant reminder of the intricate interplay between personal hardship and societal expectations, as he reflects on the toxic relationships, substance abuse, and financial pressures that contributed to his emotional turmoil. The conversation emphasizes the importance of recognizing the warning signs of mental health crises and destigmatizing discussions around suicidal thoughts, thereby fostering a culture of openness and support.
Takeaways:
For more information on mental health support, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
For more information on Prosper, go to the website
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Speaker B:My name is Kent Corso and I'm your host for this episode of One Minute Can Save a Life.
Speaker B:While I am a licensed clinical psychologist, none of these guests are my patients, nor does anything I say constitute medical advice.
Speaker B:The views conveyed during our conversations do not reflect the views, positions or policies of any private or public organization.
Speaker B:This is simply a series of conversations with people who have some connection to hardship, suicide, mental health, or loss.
Speaker B:There's so much we can learn from one another.
Speaker B:So let's get started today.
Speaker C:Our guest is Will Wagner.
Speaker C:Will, please introduce yourself.
Speaker A:Thank you, Dr. Corso.
Speaker A:Good morning.
Speaker A:So, as he said, my name is Will Wagner.
Speaker A:I'm 31 years old.
Speaker A:I was almost 23 forever because of a decision I made that was a long accumulation of multiple things.
Speaker A:Thankfully, I'm still here and now I'm a master electrician.
Speaker A:And so I try to bring light into people's real lives and also into their minds.
Speaker A:And so that's why I'm here today.
Speaker C:That's great.
Speaker C:It's like a figurative and literal thing that you bring light into people's lives because you're an electrician.
Speaker C:I love it.
Speaker C:So I'm so excited to have you on the podcast today, Will.
Speaker C:For those who are listening, Will is a suicide attempt survivor and we've had some lost survivors on the podcast.
Speaker C:We've had a few attempt survivors and I've been hoping to get Will on the show for a while now.
Speaker C:So I'm really glad we made the time.
Speaker C:Will, thanks so much.
Speaker A:Of course, I'm happy to be here.
Speaker C:So you're an electrician, you live in Laramie, is that right?
Speaker A:Yes, sir, that is correct.
Speaker A:I'm an electrician for the last 12 years now.
Speaker C:So tell us a little bit about your background, Will.
Speaker C:Were you born and raised in Laramie?
Speaker A:I was born and raised in Jackson, Wyoming.
Speaker A:Some people are going to hear that and get excited and some people are going to look down on me a little bit.
Speaker A:Fine.
Speaker A:Either way, it was a beautiful place.
Speaker A:I'm a seventh generation Jacksonite.
Speaker A:My mom's side of the family homesteaded there.
Speaker A:So long time there, then growing up there was beautiful.
Speaker A:I grew up with a very blessed life.
Speaker A:I got to do anything and everything I would wanted to do.
Speaker A:My parents gave me a definite great childhood.
Speaker A:I went to college in Laramie and that's how I ended up here.
Speaker A:I promised my grandmother I would go before she passed and so I went to school.
Speaker A:I did not like school.
Speaker A:I'm not the type to sit around.
Speaker A:So while I was in school I got a job at an electrical company.
Speaker A:I was just doing grunt work and once I graduated, I stuck with it.
Speaker A:They thankfully kept me on and so here I am today.
Speaker C:So you've been working for the same electric company for 12 years, you said?
Speaker A:Yes, sir.
Speaker A:Correct.
Speaker A:Excellent.
Speaker C:Take us back to your attempt.
Speaker C: Your attempt was: Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:2018.
Speaker A:2019.
Speaker A: I guess technically it'd be: Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:You remember the exact time?
Speaker A:Yes, sir.
Speaker C:I think some of our listeners might be surprised to hear such a personal conversation about one's suicide attempt.
Speaker C:I think it's important for us to have this conversation in a helpful way.
Speaker C:So let's just sort of share some facts that we know about suicide.
Speaker C:We know that 42% of suicides are preceded by a relationship problem.
Speaker C:And that's because we are relational beings, right?
Speaker C:Who we are, our identity is often defined by those around us, whether it's our family, our friends, our significant other, sometimes it's our children.
Speaker C:And then we know that almost a third of suicides are preceded by either a problematic substance abuse problem or chronic health condition, things like that.
Speaker C:And so there are other factors like homelessness, financial problems, criminal or legal problems.
Speaker C:These are all the most common life stressors that make people take their life or attempt to take their life.
Speaker C:And when we look at these seven factors that precede suicide attempts, what we see is a common theme or a common denominator among all of them.
Speaker C:And that is that people have lost their meaning and purpose in life.
Speaker C:They might have some sort of a insult to their self identity.
Speaker C:They might view themselves different.
Speaker C:It might even be like an identity crisis where they're not sure who they are anymore.
Speaker C:So I'd like to describe that for the listeners just to make sure that we have a bit of a background here and a common understanding.
Speaker C:Suicide is not just a psychiatric problem or mental health condition.
Speaker C:It really is a social issue.
Speaker C:All of the seven factors that precede suicide attempts have some sort of a social context to them, right?
Speaker C:So if I lose my job, that has a social context.
Speaker C:If I let's say my wife divorces me, that's a social context right?
Speaker C:Now, certainly there are things like mental health problems and substance use, as we discussed, and physical illness.
Speaker C:But there are also social repercussions and elements of all of those things.
Speaker C:So now back to you, Will.
Speaker C:I just want to paint that picture so that we can hear a little bit about what life was like when you decided to Take your life.
Speaker A:Yes, sir.
Speaker A:So you spoke to me on these seven factors before and I'm the common denominator in those factors.
Speaker A:I figured that one out.
Speaker A:That was pretty easy.
Speaker A:But I hit on quite a few of those.
Speaker A:So relationship was one of them.
Speaker A:Alcohol, so the substance abuse was one of them.
Speaker A:Financial was one of them.
Speaker A:So I was never good at relationships and I had graduated college.
Speaker A:I found the one or so I thought.
Speaker A:And the relationship was full of fire.
Speaker A:It was great, it was awesome.
Speaker A:But there was also the bad side of it and it was a very toxic relationship on both sides.
Speaker A:It wasn't one sided.
Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:It started as one sided.
Speaker A:But when you're in a toxic environment, I believe you start to become a product of your environment.
Speaker A:And so I became a person that I didn't recognize and to get away from this, my real life problems because I didn't understand how to handle them.
Speaker A:Growing up I was told that if you had a problem, you got over it, you fixed it, you didn't let people see you cry, you definitely didn't let women see you cry.
Speaker A:And I believed it.
Speaker A:And so I turned alcohol to help with that.
Speaker A:And I was using alcohol as a numbing deal and I drank it to be numb.
Speaker A:I didn't drink it because I like the taste.
Speaker A:I didn't drink it in social settings for that reason.
Speaker A:It was purely so I didn't feel things.
Speaker A:And when I wasn't drinking, because my job was very important to me, I kept it that separate.
Speaker A:It was at night when I would drink.
Speaker A:So when I was at work I was happy in a sense because I was around all my buddies.
Speaker A:But then when it was not necessarily appropriate to drink, I would be on my phone and I, I played a game on my phone and this game fun to play or it's pay to play.
Speaker A:And it started out as fun to play and then it turned into.
Speaker A:I had this community of people that I was able to talk to that didn't know me in real life and I was able to just be me and escape it.
Speaker A:Well, to keep up with everybody, I decided that I would pay to play.
Speaker A:And it gave me the dopamine rush and hits that I needed.
Speaker A:It made me feel like I was doing something.
Speaker A:And I believe that in the end of it all, I spent $8,000.
Speaker C:Oh my God.
Speaker A:On this mobile phone game.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:That I'll never see back.
Speaker A:I'll never do anything.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's a running joke with my brother and my family of oh, have you set down your dragons Game and you're gonna be with us and you're not going to be spending money or if I say can't buy something, like, oh, maybe you shouldn't have bought this.
Speaker A:And it's funny now, but at the time it was very serious.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:It was my escape from reality.
Speaker A:And so it put this financial stress on me as well.
Speaker C:And so I'm so glad you're describing these sorts of factors because oftentimes people, when they're struggling in life, they turn to alcohol.
Speaker C:It's a sort of an escape strategy.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker C:You use the word numb, it numbs you, but I think it also helps people not have to feel anything.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker C:That's that numbing that you're talking about.
Speaker C:And so people can either escape because they're literally drunk.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:So your mind is not really sound.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker C:And you mentioned spending money or escaping into games, and I think people do that too, whether they shop, whether they gamble.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker C:So I'm really thankful that you're sharing those two examples because I think there are things that people can relate to.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:I was told when I was after the fact that, you know, find those things that make you happy, do these things, and there's certain things to do.
Speaker A:Well, I like spending money and I like, like I have a job so that I can buy the cool things I like.
Speaker A:But also I can see that there's a pattern that I have to stay out of because I could fall back into my previous really quick.
Speaker C:It sounds like what you're saying is these are habits that you can easily slip back into.
Speaker C:And so even though you've learned to master them and sort of control at the same time, you know that it's easy to slip back into.
Speaker A:Yes, it is very easy to slip into old patterns.
Speaker A:After my attempt, I was in the hospital for roughly a month and a half.
Speaker A:I got out on my brother's 21st birthday, so I wanted to try alcohol because I haven't.
Speaker A:And my body, I drank, I drank my regular drink and my body immediately was like, this is pure rubbing alcohol.
Speaker A:This is a no go.
Speaker A:And it tasted horrible.
Speaker A:And I was like, oh, like maybe my body realizes, like, this is not good.
Speaker A:And so I ended up going and becoming sober for quite a while.
Speaker A:I can't say exactly how long, but I believe it was roughly a year, year and a half.
Speaker C:Good for you.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:Was because I was terrified that I was.
Speaker A:I have.
Speaker A:I like being in control.
Speaker A:And at the time of my attempt, I was not in control.
Speaker A:And so it terrified me to think that I could slip back into that and not be in control again.
Speaker A:So I just stayed purely away from alcohol because I didn't think that I could handle it.
Speaker A:And so I made rules for myself when I started to drink again.
Speaker A:And it.
Speaker A:My rules were never on a bad day.
Speaker A:That one's been hard.
Speaker A:That one's been really hard, because that's the day you want to drink is exactly.
Speaker A:Is on a bad day.
Speaker A:I don't drink around people that I don't know, and that's because I have a very good circle of people, and they know me.
Speaker A:So if I have drank too much or in drinking in a way that is probably not the correct way, they'll call me out, they'll ask.
Speaker A:They'll be like, hey, are you okay?
Speaker A:And they hold me accountable if I'm not holding myself accountable.
Speaker A:And it has been.
Speaker A:It's been very good.
Speaker A:I'm able to enjoy it in a social setting and able to.
Speaker A:To actually, it's a.
Speaker A:It's been a good thing.
Speaker A:And so that was definitely one that has been hard because I feel like drinking is also a very social thing.
Speaker A:And people do it for social reasons.
Speaker C:Sure.
Speaker A:Even if they necessarily don't even want to have a beer or whatever it is, they do it just because everybody around them is doing it.
Speaker C:You raise a great point, though, Will, and that is we have to set rules around drinking, because if we don't, it really does take over from a chemical perspective.
Speaker C:You just become dependent on it, and it ends up driving your decisions and your behaviors and your actions.
Speaker C:So I love how you're describing the set of rules that you've learned are helpful to maintain your own control.
Speaker C:I think that's super helpful for our listeners to hear as well.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:And I think that everybody.
Speaker A:I mean, everybody's different.
Speaker A:We all operate differently.
Speaker A:We all like things differently.
Speaker A:And so for our listeners, like, these rules might not be what worked for you, but maybe one of them does, or there's something that you can take away from it, and it's not easy.
Speaker A:I did not.
Speaker A:I. I look back now, and I. I didn't understand what drunk was.
Speaker A:I didn't.
Speaker A:I didn't understand.
Speaker A:I thought that when somebody was drunk, this is what they were.
Speaker A:And I had to step back and look in on my previous years, and I realized that I was more.
Speaker A:I abused alcohol a lot more than I had thought.
Speaker C:So in retrospect, you're saying once you look back on it, you're able to see, you know what?
Speaker C:I, at the time, didn't realize how much I was abusing alcohol.
Speaker C:But now I can see that I really was.
Speaker C:Yes, to a great extent.
Speaker A:To a great extent.
Speaker A:Yes, sir.
Speaker A:Correct.
Speaker C:I have a question going back to your attempt.
Speaker C:You said you were in the hospital for about 22 days or something like that.
Speaker C:When you woke up in the hospital and realized you were alive, how did you feel?
Speaker C:What were your thoughts?
Speaker A:It's a little groggy.
Speaker A:They had me on quite a few meds.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker A:So my attempt was.
Speaker A:Was a firearm.
Speaker A:And so it did a lot of facial trauma, so I couldn't speak.
Speaker A:I had a trach in.
Speaker A:My eyes were swole shut.
Speaker A:So I was able to listen to the nurses, and I wrote.
Speaker A:They gave me a notepad, and I wrote to them.
Speaker A:Thankfully, I have really good handwriting, so that was good.
Speaker A:So I woke up in the hospital, and I.
Speaker A:They.
Speaker A:They asked me.
Speaker A:They're like, hey, you know.
Speaker A:You know why you're here?
Speaker A:And I knew.
Speaker A:I was like, yeah.
Speaker A:I was like, yes.
Speaker A:I answered.
Speaker A:I was like, yes, I'm here because I attempted to take my own life.
Speaker A:And there was a.
Speaker A:There was a therapist in the counselor in the room with me.
Speaker A:So I was on a suicide watch for 48 hours.
Speaker A:And so she was doing her regular thing, and she's like, all right, you know?
Speaker A:And so she asked me all these questions, and I just answered them like we were talking right now.
Speaker A:It was very weird to me.
Speaker A:I didn't.
Speaker A:I didn't deny it.
Speaker A:She said that a lot of people do deny it, which was interesting to me because I.
Speaker A:Where I was sitting, I didn't feel like there was any way to deny what I'd done.
Speaker A:I was happy.
Speaker A:I was happy I was alive.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:And I immediately knew that I wanted to talk about it to other people.
Speaker A:That was one of the biggest things that I figured out right off the bat was that I wanted to tell other people about this and try to help other people because I honestly believed mental health wasn't real.
Speaker A:I did.
Speaker A:I thought that if you had a problem, you got over it and you fixed it.
Speaker A:Three days prior to my attempt, My mom's been in the medical field for all of my life.
Speaker A:I called her and was like, mom, I'm losing weight.
Speaker A:I don't feel good.
Speaker A:Like, all these things, something's wrong.
Speaker A:And she's like, okay, go get blood tests done.
Speaker A:So three days prior, I went and got blood tests done because I thought I was sick.
Speaker A:And the fact was, I was ill, but it was not a physical illness.
Speaker A:It was presenting physical because of how Bad it had gotten, but it was mental.
Speaker A:And I just.
Speaker A:I didn't believe that could be the case.
Speaker A:And it.
Speaker A:It was a very humbling experience in the hospital.
Speaker A:When I woke up realizing that was what was wrong, that was what happened.
Speaker C:There's quite a bit of research on this issue, what people think and feel when they wake up in the hospital, when they survive their att.
Speaker C:And the vast majority of people experience exactly what you described, which is happiness that you are alive and you have a second chance.
Speaker C:So thank you for sharing that with us.
Speaker C:I think it really does give testimony to what that research often has found.
Speaker C:There's a smaller percentage of people who wake up and they don't really know what to do.
Speaker C:They thought that ending their life was going to solve all their problems, and then they're living.
Speaker C:And so not only are their problems not solved, but how they thought those problems were going to be fixed didn't work.
Speaker C:And then there's a smaller group of people who wake up in the hospital and they sort of say, wow, I'm so worthless, I couldn't even kill myself.
Speaker C:And then they're probably the smallest group and they tend to be at future risk because they haven't had that light bulb moment that you're describing where you realize, oh, my gosh, I didn't really want to die.
Speaker C:I just wanted all my pain to go away.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:And that was my pain to go away.
Speaker A:Is exactly it.
Speaker A:I was.
Speaker A:Financially, I was in ruins.
Speaker A:I was an alcoholic and I was.
Speaker A:I had horrible relationship and I just wanted it all to end.
Speaker A:I wanted that pain to stop.
Speaker A:I wanted to try and get away from it.
Speaker A:And the easiest way in my thought was if I wasn't here.
Speaker A:I will say that waking up in the hospital, it was.
Speaker A:I was happy, but in that day, it was a full range of emotions.
Speaker A:I freaked out.
Speaker A:I had panic attack of, well, what am I gonna do now?
Speaker A:Of course, because it didn't make any of my problems any easier.
Speaker A:It just compounded them a little bit more.
Speaker C:And that had to be very scary too.
Speaker C:I mean, what now, right?
Speaker A:Yeah, it was.
Speaker A:I'm very independent, so I don't like help.
Speaker A:So the hospital was a very humbling experience, that way of.
Speaker A:I had to have help the whole time through.
Speaker A:And financially I was not.
Speaker A:I did not want to take any help from anybody because in my mind, I did this to myself, so I need to handle it.
Speaker A:And I did.
Speaker A:I was broke.
Speaker A:I was broke afterwards.
Speaker A:Like 20, like paycheck to paycheck, like $25 to my name.
Speaker A:Well, and it was rough.
Speaker A:I had a very good support system, so I was able to handle it.
Speaker A:I was in therapy as well, so, like, I was able to talk to somebody about this whole thing and I was able to, you know, work through it.
Speaker A:And yeah, financially I was not okay.
Speaker A:Physically, I was not okay.
Speaker A:Mentally, I was getting better, but it was a struggle.
Speaker A:And I don't know, I.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:I think back on it now and I look at where I am today, and sometimes it doesn't feel real.
Speaker A:Some days it does.
Speaker A:But when I get up in the morning and I have to brush one set of teeth and then I have to brush the other set of teeth and then put them in my mouth, it's real.
Speaker A:It's real again.
Speaker A:But you talked earlier about purpose a little bit, and people lose that meaning and that purpose.
Speaker A:And pre my attempt that was part of it, was that I was told one of my dreams was not allowed when I was in my relationship.
Speaker A:And that dream was what I thought my purpose was going to be since I was a little boy.
Speaker A:And so I'd lost this whole sense of purpose and whole everything.
Speaker A:And when I woke up in the hospital, I realized I found my purpose and that was to help other people out of that dark place and not, hopefully not feel the way I felt and get to that point.
Speaker C:That's a wonderful sort of happenstance to sort of evolve through that pain and then find new purpose.
Speaker C:And that purpose is to help others who were in pain.
Speaker C:So let's talk a little bit about that for our listeners.
Speaker C:I know that you do quite a bit of speaking around the state.
Speaker C:What's your message for people, for people who maybe they're thinking about suicide or they have thought of suicide?
Speaker C:What's that message that you want to get out to everyone?
Speaker A:It's okay.
Speaker A:You're not broken, you're not messed up.
Speaker A:If you've thought about it, don't be ashamed, like feel shame or guilt.
Speaker A:It is okay.
Speaker A:But you need to talk to somebody about it because that thought process can be very comforting at times, which is to some people is they can't fathom the idea that being in that dark place is comfortable and not being happy is comfortable.
Speaker A:But it is, and know it is.
Speaker A:It is not easy to be happy.
Speaker A:Every day my little brother and I argue about it.
Speaker A:He's like, just wake up and be happy.
Speaker A:And I'm like, yeah, I wish that were the case.
Speaker A:I know that's not the case.
Speaker A:I know that it's a struggle to smile Every single day.
Speaker A:But there are days that it comes easy.
Speaker A:Just make sure you do it.
Speaker A:I was told in the hospital that perception is everything.
Speaker A:And that was one of the things that really stuck with me.
Speaker A:I look at things in life and if I look at it one way, it's.
Speaker A:It's one outcome.
Speaker A:And if I look at it the other way, it's a totally different outcome.
Speaker C:It's that idea that the glass is half full or half empty, right?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:And there are days that I wake up and that glass is 3/4 empty.
Speaker A:And there are days that it's full and the days that it feels 3/4 empty.
Speaker A:I know that I just.
Speaker A:I need to actively work to be happy and realize that it will be okay.
Speaker A:This day will pass.
Speaker A:It might not be the most fun day, but you will get through it.
Speaker A:The people say find the little things.
Speaker A:And I didn't know if that was really a thing.
Speaker A:And then I did.
Speaker A:Sunrises are my thing.
Speaker A:I love sunrises.
Speaker A:So I will get up at early, early mornings and I will go drive an hour and my dog and I will sit and have coffee and watch the sunrise.
Speaker C:That's beautiful.
Speaker C:That's beautiful.
Speaker A:I am tired because I woke up early.
Speaker A:So then her and I'll take a nap on the mountain or whatever.
Speaker A:But it's those little small things that I have found that nothing else is working that day.
Speaker A:And so that's it.
Speaker A:I was always told that you don't know.
Speaker A:It was always a sticky note that was on by our computer.
Speaker A:My dad wrote it, he saw it somewhere.
Speaker A:But always be nice to people because you don't know the battles they're dealing with.
Speaker A:And I always thought about it, but I never really kind of sat down and put it to it.
Speaker A:And now I realize it.
Speaker A:And one of the biggest things I've learned with everybody is that everybody takes everything differently and experiences are different.
Speaker A:And my biggest one that I've.
Speaker A:I say to people is that if you, Dr. Corso and I were.
Speaker A:We both had our coffee in the morning and you spilled your coffee.
Speaker A:To you it might be the straw that breaks the camel's back and it's end of your day and it ruins your day.
Speaker A:And you come to me and you tell me this and I just look at you like what?
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker A:Like what's the big deal?
Speaker A:It's coffee, you'll get another one.
Speaker A:Because to me I'll just buy another coffee or I'll make another coffee, but then in turn my order is wrong at lunch and that ruins my day.
Speaker C:I think what you're saying, Will, is that pain is subjective and a painful experience.
Speaker C:What bothers one person may not bother another person.
Speaker C:And what I love about what you're saying is in the context of life, that life is hard, and life is full of speed bumps and curveballs and things that are going to hurt and things that are going to, frankly, keep you on your toes.
Speaker C:And I love your message, Will.
Speaker C:Your message is, it's okay to think about suicide because it might feel like a comforting answer.
Speaker C:It's sort of like that's an escape.
Speaker C:My pain will finally be over.
Speaker C:But I also hear you saying it's not okay to act on it.
Speaker C:In other words, take it from someone who's been there.
Speaker C:It's not the answer.
Speaker A:Correct.
Speaker A:It isn't the answer.
Speaker C:One of the other things I hear you saying, Will, is that the road to recovery is a gradual one.
Speaker C:It's hard work.
Speaker C:Just having a good day sometimes is hard work.
Speaker C:But you have to start with small steps.
Speaker C:And I love your example of sunrises.
Speaker C:Find the one or two small things in life that you enjoy, and for you, in that example, it's your dog and the sunrise.
Speaker C:And I think that's so important because when life feels overwhelming, it's so difficult for people to know where to start to tackle all those things that are going on.
Speaker C:So to break it down into this simple, just do something positive for yourself.
Speaker C:Have that positive experience every single day.
Speaker C:And if the rest of the day goes horribly, at least you've got those one or two moments, those things you've done for yourself.
Speaker C:And I think that's really, really good advice for people who might be listening right now and.
Speaker C:And are struggling.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:There is one other that I implement, and I.
Speaker A:So I've met a lot of amazing people on my road to recovery.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:It's been phenomenal.
Speaker A:But I met a lady that worked for my mom doing some stuff, and she introduced herself.
Speaker A:I introduced myself.
Speaker A:She tells me immediately, hey, next time I see you, I won't remember you.
Speaker A:And I was like, okay.
Speaker A:That's an interesting thing to say, but okay.
Speaker A:And so I.
Speaker A:At the time, I was still.
Speaker A:I was still healing quite a bit.
Speaker A:So I didn't have teeth.
Speaker A:I, you know, my face.
Speaker A:I looked like I had been in a car wreck.
Speaker A:So it was easy for people to kind of, you know, ask questions, go, hey, what happened?
Speaker A:So her and I kind of talked a little bit about my attempt, and she opens up that she has.
Speaker A:She's has brain damage from an abusive relationship.
Speaker A:And so it's Caused her to have short term memory loss.
Speaker C:Oh, gosh.
Speaker A:And that is why she.
Speaker A:She wouldn't remember the next time she met me.
Speaker A:And I was very interested in what she had to say because I like hearing other people's stories because that means that, like, when they come from them, I know that they're alive and they're able to tell it, and that makes me happy.
Speaker A:And so she.
Speaker A:I asked her how she dealt with it, because there were things in my life that I.
Speaker A:My brain wasn't functioning correctly and I was forgetting things.
Speaker A:And she's like, I write it down.
Speaker A:And my.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:She's like, you know, like, bills.
Speaker A:Bills are hard.
Speaker A:I'm like, yeah.
Speaker A:She's like, so she's like, I have two kids and I had to.
Speaker A:I forgot to pick them up from school sometimes or I forgot if I fed them, like, I would forget these simple things.
Speaker A:And she's like, so I had to write everything down.
Speaker A:And she's like, it became so overwhelming that I had the.
Speaker A:I had all these problems is what I would call them.
Speaker A:And I was like, yeah, I understand having problems.
Speaker A:I feel like I have them every day.
Speaker A:She's like, what I started to do was I labeled them as an issue and not a problem.
Speaker A:And I was like, I'm like, okay.
Speaker A:And I was trying to wrap my head around it.
Speaker A:And she's like, if you label as a problem, like.
Speaker A:Like a problem versus an issue are very different in the terms of what people think of them as.
Speaker C:I believe absolutely, it's that your whole frame of mind differently.
Speaker C:If you list all your problems, you sit back and say, oh my goodness, I have a lot of problems.
Speaker C:If you list issues or things that need to be addressed, it's much easier to then go down that list and start approaching it.
Speaker C:Right?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:It was the mindset.
Speaker A:And my brother, oh, my brother, he gets me because, you know, brothers, family are good at getting your goat.
Speaker A:And my brother, he.
Speaker A:I always told him it was a mindset.
Speaker A:And so that's his one quote.
Speaker A:He likes to tell me all the time, if something.
Speaker A:I say something.
Speaker A:Well, it's a mindset.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:Oh, but so it is a little bit of a mindset thing of issue versus problem.
Speaker A:And so with her, what she told me was that she would write down this issue.
Speaker A:And so if it was a bill that was coming up or what have you, she would write it down.
Speaker A:And if she couldn't handle the issue at that time and remedy it, she would put it aside.
Speaker A:It was one of those that I Started thinking about it in other terms of life.
Speaker A:Things of if I have this issue or I have something that I'm working on or trying to fix but I can't do anything about now dwelling on it's not going to do anything for her.
Speaker A:She didn't dwell on things because, well, she forgot about them.
Speaker A:For those of us that are lucky and don't have that short term memory loss, we like to dwell on things.
Speaker A:I like to do it because if something's going good in my life, I like to do a little self sabotage and I like to try and make something of nothing.
Speaker A:And so I would dwell on things and make something so small be something big.
Speaker A:And when I started labeling as an issue and going, okay, this is when I can kind of fix it.
Speaker A:This is when I have to have it fixed by and I would come back to it, it changed a lot.
Speaker A:It made me, it made some of those other small things that were day to day things a lot easier.
Speaker A:I One of my biggest ones was my teeth.
Speaker A:So you guys are listening.
Speaker A:So you can't see me.
Speaker A:It's probably a good thing now.
Speaker A:Not super handsome, but I was very vain before everything.
Speaker A:So I was very much the.
Speaker A:I like to be put together all these things and I lost half my smile and the doctors didn't know how they were exactly going to put me back together and fix that.
Speaker A:And so I went about three years without front teeth.
Speaker A:And when I say front teeth, it was like my 12 front teeth on the top side.
Speaker A:And I had to interact with people on a day to day basis because of my job and smile.
Speaker A:And I love smiling, but when I smiled, I smiled with no teeth and it was horrible.
Speaker A:I was a gummer and I didn't like it and I dwelled on when I was going to be fixed, when I was going to be put back together and be whole.
Speaker A:And I finally started to look at it differently and realize that in time it will come.
Speaker A:It's not going to happen exactly when I want it to happen, but it will happen when it needs to.
Speaker C:That's great.
Speaker C:Will, just to summarize that, I think you're making some great points.
Speaker C:One is to not label things problems and to be clear how we think about things make them more tolerable, more approachable, more doable.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker C:And then the other thing I hear you saying is to not dwell on things.
Speaker C:The woman you described had memory difficulties so she couldn't dwell on things.
Speaker C:And so I really appreciate you pointing those out, that it's how we think about Things, as your brother says, it's a mindset, but then also it's how you spend your time and what you're thinking about.
Speaker C:And not dwelling on things is part of the solution.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker C:What could someone have said that might have made you tap the brakes and sort of delay or not follow through with the attempt?
Speaker A:I would have to say that it would have to be something along that what my uncle told me, but embrace the suck.
Speaker C:Embrace the suck.
Speaker C:That's like a military phrase, right?
Speaker A:Yes, it is.
Speaker A:It is a military phrase.
Speaker A:And for me, that's what it would have had to be because it was gonna suck.
Speaker A:There are days that are gonna suck.
Speaker A:But you embrace it, you move through it and you put that day behind you and you get.
Speaker A:It's better.
Speaker A:You're better because of it.
Speaker C:And if you had one, one or two words of encouragement for our listeners, Will, if there is someone who's listening right now who.
Speaker C:Who may be in a dark place, what one or two words of encouragement would you offer them?
Speaker A:You are worthy.
Speaker A:I struggle with it, but you are worthy and you are loved.
Speaker A:You may not see it every single day, and it may not be somebody that you know very well, but you've made an impression on them and they enjoy seeing you every day.
Speaker C:Excellent, Will.
Speaker C:That's a wonderful message.
Speaker C:Thank you so much for sharing your story and again, for all of the talking around the state that you're doing, the messages that you are trying to share with people about your experience and just really appreciate all of that light that you're bringing.
Speaker A:Thank you, sir.
Speaker A:This is.
Speaker A:It's been a great journey so far and I can't wait to continue it.
Speaker A:Thank you guys for listening.
Speaker A:It will be okay, and you will be okay.
Speaker A:And if you need to talk to somebody, seek them out.
Speaker A:There's people out there for it.
Speaker A:So we get our cars fixed when they start having problems.
Speaker A:So when you.
Speaker A:And you take them to somebody that knows what they're doing, so do the same for you and your mental health.
Speaker C:Excellent message, Will.
Speaker C:Thanks again.
Speaker A:Thank you, sir.
Speaker B:Thank you for listening to this episode of One Minute Can Save a Life.
Speaker B:Take care of yourself.
Speaker B:Take care of your neighbor.
Speaker B:Be bold.
Speaker B:Ask the hard questions.
Speaker B:Because if you don't, who will?
Speaker A:Production support for One Minute Can Save a Life was provided by TKB Podcast Studio.
Speaker A:To find out more about our services, go to tkbpodcaststudio.com.