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Redesigning Shapewear and Life with Susie Taaffe
Episode 14627th February 2024 • Momma Has Goals • Kelsey Smith
00:00:00 00:55:40

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Welcome Susie Taaffe, the CEO and founder of Skanties, a game-changing anti-shapewear brand. Life often throws us a challenging hand, but Susie's story is all about reshaping adversity into success. She's a single mom of three who transformed her life's hurdles into a global business, introducing Skanties in Australia and the U.S. to offer women a comfortable and confident alternative to traditional shapewear.

In this episode, we go beyond business and dive into the personal aspects of Susie's journey. We explore how she navigated divorce, single motherhood, and the importance of maintaining positive relationships, especially when it's tough. Susie's life is a testament to confidence and courage, from her ventures in China to her various business endeavors and embracing the role of mom.

Join us for a raw and real conversation that's packed with inspiration and insights. If you're looking for wisdom on building confidence, handling life's judgments, and gaining a glimpse into the world of a true go-getter, this episode is a must-listen! Join us!


What you'll hear in this episode:

[0:00] Entrepreneurship, motherhood, and self-confidence.

[3:15] Navigating life changes and self-discovery after a blindsiding event.

[7:35] Coping with divorce and moving forward.

[13:00] Navigating life's challenges with resilience and self-awareness.

[17:00] Entrepreneurship, resilience, and problem-solving.

[22:40] Entrepreneurship, product development, and market research.

[27:25] Co-parenting and managing relationships after divorce.

[33:30] Self-care, parenting, and relocating to the US.

[40:10] Entrepreneurship, motherhood, and body positivity.

[47:30] Self-care and motivation for difficult days.

[50:35] Habits, self-awareness, and personal growth.


CONNECT WITH SUSIE

Follow Susie: @susietaaffe

Follow Skanties: @skanties

To learn more about Skanties, check out the website: https://skanties.co/


CONNECT WITH KELSEY

Follow Kelsey: @thisiskelseysmith

Follow Momma Has Goals: @mommahasgoals

Download the app for Apple or Android

Learn more at https://mommahasgoals.com/


Join our text list. Text "Goals" to (707) 347-0319

Transcripts

0:00

Looking at your market is actually the number one place to start because you don't have a product if there's no market to buy it. So you really need to look at who are my end users? And what service Am I giving them by providing this product? And look at what problems are you solving and making sure that the problems you're solving and then work out what are they willing to pay for these problems to be solved. And then you sort of work backwards to see if you have a product.

0:27

Let's reimagine mom life together. Mama high schools is your hub for relatable support and helpful resources that help you fuel yourself alongside motherhood. Your identity is bigger than mom, and whatever your goals are, together, we're making them a reality. Life can be a lot like a game sometimes. And we are dealt a hand that we want to throw back in and we want a reshuffle. We are not happy with the deck that we have been handed. Yeah, it's up to us to play that game to reevaluate how we can make it work for us how we can move it around, and what position we do have, what strategies can we implement what tools can we use and make it work until we get a reshuffle and we get to try something else out. And today we're talking about how to do that how it initially starts how you continue through life. How do you get excited? How do you build up that general confidence in who you are? And how do you also bring that into conversations with your kids or into your next passion project or venture? And Susie Our guest today is the CEO and founder of scantiness which is an anti shapewear undergarments revolutionising the shapewear industry scanty is gently enhances the natural silhouette it doesn't alter manipulate it with restrictive fabric like we see in some other traditional shape work. And as a single mom of three Susie transformed her life's challenges into a global business, leveraging her engineering background and design experience to launch scans. He's in Australia and the US scanty is anti shape where does go beyond just the label though it's really a powerful movement around anti shapewear and designed to empower women to feel comfortable, confident and beautiful in their own skin. And today we talk about Suzy really navigating being a bit blindsided stepping into divorce. And being that single mom of three, how she has kept her thoughts about the experience and really navigated conversations with her children and how maybe sometimes when we don't love and like someone, we still have to create a positive relationship with others with that person, what that looks like. We talked about the different lifes that Suzy has lived, how she has stepped up the confidence and courage to really bring on these different personas and opportunities that she's had throughout life, whether it was being in China or starting different businesses, and then also stepping into just mom life and what that looks like. We also talk a little bit about how sometimes the hardest things that happen in our life is when other people's opinions are projected on us for what our life should look like. And we talked about specifically what this is look like for her and her mom in different seasons. This is such a good conversation. So Real. So good. So let's dive in. Suze, I'm so excited to have you here. We are an international community in the sense that we have community members all over the world, outside of just the US. But I think you're our first international interview on the podcast. And so I'm super excited to have you here and connect. I want to jump in and talk about how you've transitioned through multiple navigations of your life into being this powerhouse women, single mom of three business owner doing really cool things. And I want to take it back to when you really got blindsided. And your husband at the time was leaving you because I feel like that was the catapult to move everything forward. So take us to what Susie's day to day life looked like then, and what your self worth looked like what the day to day looked like and your family dynamic to then being like, Whoa, this is changing.

4:14

Definitely. Well, I was blindsided. But we actually split up a year later. So I had sort of 12 months to sort of ask those exact questions like what you've just asked, then he went on a boy's trip to Vegas, and he came back and I could just feel something was different. Something was so I'd been left with three kids. I think there must have been for two and a baby at that stage for a week while he went to Vegas. And we had lunch when he got back and he sat me down. He said okay, now you need to make yourself happy. Like it's all it's you got to do some things that make us all happy and my mouth is dropped because I was like I'm sorry, is this the best thing that she has been away in Vegas for a week while I'm hooked after our three kids and you to come back here and tell me then turn around and make myself happy. That was like wow, okay, and it was from that day on The energy had shifted. So something had happened over there that had changed his energy. And I will also just preface this with, he did have his father was going through early onset dementia. So he was dealing with that sort of, he had other struggles going on in his life, which I'm very aware of. But I think that probably makes a person behave differently as well. Like they start questioning what's life about here, although this big mission is supposed to be fun, we're supposed to moving this fan wise. And I was like, Okay, anyway, so it's really I think you skip the part where you have to look after the three young kids. So at that stage I'd taken I was an engineer. And when the kids were bright, when they were little, I was still working, but just part time as an engineer. And because Max was still a baby, I was still on maternity leave. At this time, I was on maternity leave still and trying to make the marriage work. And I tried everything. I tried to join him. He was at building developers. So they often have sent lunches and they're at bars and doing all the fun stuff. And he also had his business partner had put up with his wife, so he was single with no kids. So it's like business meeting at the bar? Or do you want to come home and do bath dinner bed like you don't have any budget? It's a pretty easy choice, isn't it if you have to work. And anyway, so that didn't help as well. But so I started joining them at bars and getting babysitters and then trying to do that live and be a mom. And I think it was about three months into that I was like I can't I'm like dying here. And so that's when I actually first a friend said on you should go and see my friend. She was like me, a spiritual counselor. And that was when I started to actually look at me myself what am like, I suppose you're walking around blind. I think at that point, you've got no idea who you are. I had the total mother martyr thing going on. So sacrificing for everyone else instead of yourself. And kids first always, never feel my cup ever. And so I started doing things like going to the gym, I got a personal trainer, I started seeing this counselor as well who started preparing me for the end. So I was lucky in that. Although I was already blindside, we're still in a marriage. So I actually got to work through a benefit within the marriage still. So by the time he actually left, I'd actually done a lot of the works. I was prepared. So one of the big things that she said, So what's your biggest fear? And I said, Well, I'm going to be parenting by myself. And she said, you're already doing that. But this way, you're actually going to get like every other weekend off. And you'll get more support from people because you're a single mom. And so that was sort of my first aha moment, I was actually already doing it all myself. So that's sort of took away that fear. And then I said, Well, what about the kids? What about the kids, and I've done some research about this as well. And she heard the spiritual view is they chose you both as their parents, so they came down here choosing this experience. So they chose to have you and they chose to have him and that they chose for this to be what happens so that don't you take that on board and go and make yourself the martyr on that as well. So we swept that off the table. And then that's not I did some research into divorce parents and kids etc. And I found that kids relate 50% to the Father and 50% to the mothers. So that was good to know, as well. So I had that. And then I also had the next question, which is, who am I? So a very large question to answer. And you have to and I'm still peeling back layers of that that was nine or 10 years ago. Now I'm still peeling back layers of the Who am I question? What does Suzy like to do? And who like, where do you like to go? What make what fuels you with passion, what lights up your life and trying to just gain little glimpses of that. So by the time he by the time he left, which was nearly a year later, and it was actually really interesting, because he left the night before my birthday. So I didn't realize he actually left until my birthday when he I think he must have sent a message in the morning. And then by the afternoon, I think must have called and I said something like, Oh, you're not coming to birthday dinner. And he said, Oh, I wasn't going to I can if you want. I was like, no, no, that's it's fine. So for me that was great, because it drew a really big line in the sand is like for someone to walk out on their partner the day before their birthday. And then so I had to turn up. I wasn't gonna go to my birthday dinner until the kids dad had gone until my parents dad had gone. So then on Mother's Day, I'm there like lying to my family about where daddy is. And so for me that was like that was the door slam. So hotshot is like you are never coming back from that one. Yeah.

9:39

So you had this year, like you said, to build some of this strength and to look for some resources. But it's not the same to that moment of you're like you're really going to leave me the day before my birthday. And you're having to really bring this confidence out of yourself and you're having to cultivate this strength that you're pulling out of nowhere, right? This is a walk that you've never had to walk before. You don't even have the ability to really be honest with anyone in that moment. So you're coming from a place where you're on your own. That's not something that there's a playbook for. It's something that you have to just cultivate and do. And I know that. But if someone's in a similar scenario, looking back, what would you tell yourself? Or what would you tell that person now when they're having to really muster up the strength that is in them, but they don't know how to get to it? And they're just in survival? How did you get yourself to do that?

10:39

Well, what I would tell my younger, I didn't know this thing. But what I would tell my younger self now would be my favorite phrase is rejection is divine protection. That is what is not meant for you will be taken away, and then it clears the past to you to be able to have what is meant for you. And my counselor had been saying, if it's not had been saying something, if it's not going to be him, there's someone or better out there for you. Like, it doesn't have to be that person. He is not the one and only. And so that's what I would tell my younger self is like the universe has a bigger plan for you. So if someone's walking away from you, and showing you who they are, let them like, let them show like, This is who I am. I'm a man that will walk away from my family. Okay, then thank you for telling me who you are. And thank you for showing me who you are. At the time after I got over the shock. It was actually very funny. I was actually kicking my heels out with delight. But it was actually really funny because my mother took that took the divorce really hard, I had to deal with that as well. And it ended up that I actually had to move back in with him when so another thing that I didn't mention is they also in their office, when they the building they owned they had two two bedroom apartments off the top. So they had crash pads already. So it was such an easy out. It wasn't like he was going he was on someone's couch. It was so easy to get in and out. It's so I actually sent him a we need to rebuild with you because and so we actually cohabited split for three months, which was very interesting, but I think potentially might have helped with the amicability later on, because you'd have to get used to being amicable with them. And at this point, too, I was actually pretty okay, well, like I actually felt a weight had been lifted that 12 months was so such a burden, not knowing what was going on trying to work on yourself, trying to like is this happening, like we tried to go to counseling, he just got turned up sometimes like, he'd be drunk with his business partner does not turn up. It was such a burden when it was actually Rosa Oh, thank God. But the big thing and at the time, he started his business, etc. The big shock, the point where you're probably talking about came six months later when I get the phone call that their company has gone bankrupt. So now I've got the three kids before he was still supporting, there was money we had, we could do stuff. And then I get the phone call. Okay, now you've got three kids, and you've got nothing. Yeah.

13:01

Wow, that is so heavy and so hard. But again, you're just continually pulling yourself up where you're like, Okay, we're gonna have to cohabitate. But one of the things that you mentioned that I think is super important here is other people's reflections and opinions on what your life journey is. And this happens from like, how you parent, to what type of blankets or food you give your baby, to how you decide to dissolve or continuing your marriage. There are people connected to us that have strong opinions about our lives. And at the end of the day, it's an under their business, because it's not their life. And sometimes this comes from a really good place. Sometimes that person really wants to be there for us, and they want the best for us. And they are really just looking out for us. And sometimes it doesn't. But how did you navigate your own path alongside those opinions and your mom feeling a certain way about the situation and knowing that maybe she wanted the best for you? Maybe it was all in good intention. But you still had to go forward with your path. How do you navigate the outside world when you're just like, look, I'm I have to have blinders, I have to go through this on my own.

14:12

That that was actually the toughest part, I think actually was navigating that I think I really just did it every I had to really remember that other people's how other people react to something is their stuff. And it's coming from places that I might not even know about, it's coming from places that they don't even know about. And so it doesn't actually make logical sense. So you just have to really sit in wait and see I can only control what I can control which for me I probably put a lot of focus on on keeping the kids happy and see the kids were so little and actually having more problems now with them in the divorce than I did back then. Because they've been there was so little they didn't question it. It was like days away and he was away a lot anyway, so it wasn't really that big a deal. Like sometimes you're spending time with Danny and somebody like they didn't get Eddie. So just staying true to you knowing in your heart that what you're doing is the best thing for you, because other people's opinions are gonna seem logical. So I'm telling thanks, they just Yeah, because you're dying from triggers and back stuff and their own patterns when they were kids and all those sorts of things that you have no knowledge or that you might have slight knowledge of some, but they probably got it. It's even subconscious. So you just got to really stick to, you can only control what you can control. You can't control what other people how other people react. Yeah,

15:32

I think that's so important. And even as a parent, our kids, we have a little bit maybe more patients with because we know that their children and they have all these different things that they're navigating and emotions. But sometimes they will take things out on us that and I'm sure as you are entering the teen years, you're seeing this more and more like you said, where you're like, Okay, that's not about me, but I'm going to figure out how to navigate it. And I'm going to figure out how to go through that. This is a common skill set, whether it's through motherhood through your relationships, and you've taken it into business as well. But you have quite the fun resume from prior to even having the this situation, starting a maternity business with your sister in your 20s working in China, pre smartphones, building a large gas compressor stations in the middle of Australia. There's that version of Suzy, and then there's Suzy, this navigating all this stuff with her kids and her husband. So where did these overlap? And how did these all come together these different versions of you? Well,

16:35

definitely, I think I wouldn't have navigated the way that I did, if I hadn't had those experiences in hindsight, and you can look back and see how everything is played upon. Everything's played a part in creating who you are. And then that's the person that I could apply to that. So yeah, being in China, like starting with Tony business and being in China, pre smartphones was, it was so hard. And you've it was so difficult to navigate, I suppose my resilience levels etc, have been built up from a young age, it worked like that China is not like other Asian countries where they speak English, there was no English, we couldn't even order food at a restaurant, even if we had the characters written down, it would be different. And every restaurant, what we received, it felt like we were trying to do business with your hands tied behind your back, like trying to order fun, like just the simple thing of eating sustenance, was difficult. We're used to Halloween. And so we had an apartment over there, we used to like, in and out, we'd spend three months there and come back. And so we spent big chunks of time there. And you'd end up having to eat the same thing because we were purely not capable of expanding, expanding it unless we had our friends at it. We used to hire a uni student to be our English translator. And we just had to take that everywhere with us to do the do whatever we needed to do. So I think and then when we got out of that, and I got into the gas compressor stage of construction, which is so random, but it's actually not it's very similar. Because you ended up difficult logistics, there was no couriers, I was in charge of planning all the freight. So the big semi trailers, the big trucks, loading them out working with loads could go all the way to Java and with it. And because it's such a remote site, if we're down apart, say where the welders need a specific gasket or something and we don't have it, and we stand on that side, that money that costs is so enormous, you have to do whatever you can to get that gasket to site. So you're dropping things out to planes to get people to take on visa charter a little plane out of a regional airport. So then fly to the Regional Airport, then charter the plane, they will wait limitations and so all of that, I think that was difficult circumstances as well. So I suppose I'm well trained. I like the Navy SEAL in life difficult circumstances. So for me, I go into problem solving mode. So the day that I found out he went bankrupt was the day I decided to start the business and make it into a big thing. And I absolutely sat there and it's really I was quite surreal. It's okay, we've got no money. What's the next step and I'm like Operation didn't even have a name for it at the time, but I'm gonna make the product I'd been wearing them for about eight years. So I already knew that product. And so either all our frequent flyer points, and I booked three trips back to China, which I had sworn it would never do after the last manufacturing. And so that was how I coped with that huge load of uncertainty. Once I'm a problem solver and a planner. If I have a plan in place, I can work towards it. I think that still holds true always for me. Whatever there is, if I can work out a plan, then I'm okay. And I can just slowly execute it. And some days may be slower than others. But once I have a plan and I know where I'm going, I'm okay if I didn't have a plan. I unlike other chaos, and there's been a few times when that's happened. So I know that failure is just utter devastation.

20:00

Oh my gosh. Okay, so let's unpack this a little bit. So your first kind of stint in China. Yeah. And also the large gas company compressor station business, that pre kids in the middle of having kids when they're younger, what season of life for you, it

20:15

was all pre kids. So I've been in the office when I was when I had the little ones part time I was in the Oh, I didn't go to site anymore. Okay,

20:23

and then your ex husband's business goes bankrupt. And you have created this product you're saying you've been wearing it for eight years. So you were just like creating your own version of the shorts that for yourself and you're like I love these and then eight years later you're like, Okay, I'm ready we're gonna start a business with this is that what it looked like?

20:44

I suppose back in advance might dementia gasm night with Robin we're exiting the business the maternity because it was GFC etc. And I got terrible case and I started wearing dresses before. Before that it must have been wearing pants or shorts, or I just wore SAP avoided that because of the shape, but I wanted to start feeling more feminine. I wanted to wear dresses. And I was like, this is really annoying. And so I actually went just looking for like a beige colored cotton white shirt or something. And they didn't exist. So I was like, right, okay, and it was literally one day last trip there. And I was like, I just got some fabric. And the original pair was more like a thin sort of slightly thicker pantyhose fabric with elastic on the top and a raft elastic around the legs. And I actually wore underwear with them. So it was a different and then hybrid, it sort of morphed over the years. And I suppose change is not something that's spoken about. So I didn't know anybody else have this problem. I don't know what I thought other people were doing. But over the years, I had friends that say you're wearing skirts and dresses all the time, how are you not getting shaved? And so I told them about the pants and their language, can I get them so I hadn't even it took me about three or four years to even realize that was a commercial viability for them, that there was actually a product people want it. And so that is how, and then I moved them over the time what I did like a button, even fabric availability, I just picked whatever I could picks I just needed a basically a barrier that won't go on, there was comfortable, and thin and white. And so now I can choose much better fabrics, etc. But that's how it sort of evolved into this. And when the scanty product, I saw when I went over there, I even changed the design again, because I didn't used to have the underwear and merged into it. I used to do the double layup but I had a friend tell me that she gets she's highly susceptible to infection if she has anything synthetic near that area. So that's what made me decide to do the research or work on the airflow data for the cotton panel that's in there. After talking to women of what their issues, I managed to sort of merge about three or four issues into one, which was great,

22:44

amazing, okay, but you act like this is such a simple yep, I have this idea. I'm gonna fly to China and execute this. But that's not real life. All that goes together. So for someone that maybe has a clothing idea, or it doesn't even have to be clothing, but they want to bring a business to life. We chatted about before we push the record, this was similar for the mama how schools app is I said, I was like I have this vision. I don't really know how I'm going to create it, but I'm going to figure it out. And I think it's like what we were talking about before there are certain things in life that there isn't a playbook, you have to just jump in and take the leap and figure it out. But again, looking back giving someone some advice, that's okay, I want to take this bigger lift to create this thing that doesn't exist, just booking a flight to China and showing up and like making things happen it there's more to it than that. So what are some of the like general baby steps to bring an idea to life, especially a clothing product? Well,

23:43

the beauty of China now is actually so much more accessible with WeChat because everyone has smartphones now. So now everyone is comfortable. And they have WeChat and wechat has the Translate button. So to communicate between us it's much easier now. However, so really, I would give my advice from when I started the maternity clothing brand because that was actually that was when I really started in that industry. So this I just jumped back in but I've had six years experience over there. So yeah, different although it was a very different country. But I it was I had that experience to land on. So I think the first step is find someone who has done what you want to do, I think talk to someone who's already doing it because everyone is so willing to share a share information, share ideas, and then my next step, My next suggestion is always find a prototype. Next, find a prototype and then see look at the unit. Look at the numbers of it is the big part of it. Because you might think you've got this great idea but then by the time you work out how much the fabric is gonna cost and how much the manufacturing is going to cost. You're only going to make $5 At the end per one and then how much is it going to cost you to market and all they need to reach out at a price that your customer base won't pay. I think looking at your market is actually the number one place to start. because you don't have a product if there's no market to buy. So you really need to look at who are my end users? And what service Am I giving them by providing this product? And look at what problem are they solving and making sure that the problems you're solving and then work out? What are they willing to pay for these problems to be solved. And then you sort of work backwards to see if you have a product or not.

25:23

Yeah, I love that. And I love that you talk about your problems started with something that you were experiencing, and you solved it for yourself first. And I think this is so important for us in life or business, that before we give advice to someone, it has to be something that we've been able to solve for ourselves. First, before we start a service or a product or anything else, it has to be something that we've done, experienced and built first. And I think that's so important. I love the chiefing example, because I was a fairly petite child, my legs were the biggest part of my body, though, I always felt like my legs were bigger. And so for that reason, I didn't wear a ton of shorts, and I was a dancer. So I would have tights on a lot, which prevents shaping. So it wasn't something that I really experienced. And I remember I was in my early 20s. And I was at a fair with my husband who is bigger guy, he's always been bigger, I'd heard him talk about shaping, as soon as we started dating. And we were at this fair, and I was wearing jeans. And I had gained a little bit of weight, I was still like a fairly small person. And I was chafing at the top of where my jeans met. And I was just like, This is the worst experience. Why don't people talk about this. And he's like they do, you just haven't experienced it yet. But it's something that other people deal with AI. And I think that you're so right that especially with women, they carry these different identities with what chafing is associated with whether it's body image, body size, any of those different things. And so it's not something that a lot of women have historically talked about until more recently. And so putting a product out there to help support it. But your product doesn't even help with just chiefing. Like I think about also just like running around with little kids, I wear shorts under all my dresses, because the chance of that dress coming up is very high, running around and doing different things. So I think there's this beautiful transition to hey, I have this problem. This is something that more women need to be talking about. And I want to support them in this way. I'm gonna figure out how to create it. And now you have, and again, talking about these skill sets that you have cultivated in yourself that maybe you don't even know are so amazing. But I'm curious to know that problem solving mindset that you're talking about. And this putting a solution out into the world. How does this show up for you as a mom, especially as your kids are getting older? Now? How have you implemented these skill sets and habits into your children to say we're gonna see a problem, we're going to fix the problem, and we're going to work through it rather than just a victim mentality.

28:02

Definitely. Right. I don't even know if I'm that good at that with my kids. I am well learning at the moment. When now, like I probably have not given them enough responsibility. Although being a single mom, they naturally get more responsibility than a lot of kids because there's only one of me. So I can't actually be here all the time. So I probably found the youngest the most that he doesn't really know how to cook yet. And he's 10. And probably the eldest was cooking when she was eight. So I probably have failed him a little bit. But I think they are around my middle one, especially because she's really she's, if we're driving, she's really like my PA. So I'm like, do like I we work through the problem solving process together all the time. Well, look at that. Look at that. They'll do that. And I call it pressing buttons so that we in the kids we call it breads. I said if you press enough buttons, eventually best solution will happen most of the time, yeah, just keep pressing buttons, and we'll eventually dig down to it. And so my middle one I think she is inherently getting that because she's like my little slider. I like my drive. But what does this do? How do we find that? Because when you're driving and obviously you can't touch your phone but and texts and search and things, but she can so I think she's really getting it a lot. My eldest one is a very she's the RT at the RT creative style. So I'm not sure. I'm not sure if she even desires to problems. It's not just not her drive. It's not her personality. She's okay. She's more than happy to go. She does go with the flow. So to her doesn't matter. And yeah, my youngest, I need to work on it a little bit more.

29:44

talked a little bit about the:

31:19

see a psychologist every way she's more a mentor, counselor, etc. And because his kids are starting to push back and they're using strong words like I hate him, and really strong things like that. And so she's like my, and do you know what, he's actually a really nice guy, or he's just terrible at parenting. He's a he was like a militant or authoritarian style. We know how well that goes down with kids, especially when they come from a soft, warm, feminine family. And then they go into this militant style, which, like, surprise, surprise, which one they prefer. So anyway, we have and I think you'll be fantastic once their adult kids. So he'll beat like, he's like, great with his mates and great for So once he treats him like a friend and stops trying to pair it. It will actually be bad. It'll be great. So anyway, she had she has a term that we all used to call him we call him the muddle headed wombat. And so it's a wombat is a is a funny Australian animal, like a sort of borrows on the ground and doesn't really like fumbles alone. So by that, she says, All it means is that he just a bit muddled in the head. It's not that he doesn't love you. It's not that he doesn't want to be there for you. He's just a bit mobile with the way he shows it. And I find that's working really well for them. Because sometimes I go, No, he's not mad, I just hate him. And I'm like, No, he absolutely loves you a lot is always instilled, he loves you a lot. He's just getting muddled with how he shows it. So yes, as they get into this older age, you aren't trying to preserve their relationship with him to make it to that 20, then they can actually repair it and bonds. So whatever you can do to preserve their memories by yourself, like any memories, you can remember all the bad stuff that you you forget all the good stuff, but the bad stuff is ingrained in your brain. So so just to try and defuse any of the bad memories into that sort of muddled territory. It's like that was just him being a bit silly and always talking about his behavior, not calling him names stuff, although we've named in the middle of it, one, but there's more that he's muddled in the head. He's just a bit muddled up. He's that. So that's how we chosen to deal with it in our household under great guidance from my great counselor. Yeah,

33:29

I love that. And you're figuring out how it works for you, because it's not going to be the same for everyone, right. And we're all just trying our best and figuring out how to make it all work. So I love that and it may look different, your oldest is 13. As you get closer to that 20 mark, like you're saying, it may transition over the next seven years. But I love that you're finding a path for now and that you're bringing in support and resources, whether it's through a professional psychologist or even just like friends and family sometimes. I think that's important. Now for you as the mom and the individual that's maybe also frustrated with how your partner your ex partner or partner in parenting is showing up but you're trying to put on like a good face if you will for your kids. How are some of the ways that you navigate that what is even just from general self care to mom routine for Susie? What does that look like for you to almost I picture you shutting the bathroom door taking a deep breath and sitting down? Like what are some of the ways that you navigate that?

34:28

Yeah, you're right. You just missed the bath. I am a bath person I'm a water baby. I hoping that I have a bath every day and that is my and I like to play a little game called bathtub time travel. So you can because if you lie in a bath with water, and you close your eyes, you could actually be in any bath in any place in the whole world. You could be in the most exclusive Dubai hotel and it would feel the same you could be in like a seaside resort resort overlooking the beautiful ocean so I like to just play this little visualization game because if you're in it and you close your eyes there, it would actually feel the exact same. So that is my true Zen Zen place. I love that and I do a lot of breathing. take three deep breaths. Breathing is massive, and I love music. So if I need to get myself into or out of a funk, I'll put on I've got like a happy playlist. But then I've also got, like Enya or something if I just need to be soothed, I listened to a lot of meditation is rainforests noises, I'll put that in the background, or Yeah, I'm very audio driven. I really love like, sounds really helped. So with me, our boards have sued me. And so I use musical light. I love cooking. If I'm in a fun, for me cooking is my meditation. I know that's not definitely not the same for everyone. But if I can get in there, and I'll cook, I want to just cook one thing, I'll cook like four things at once. Because if I'm chopping onions, I'll use three dishes that need chopped onions. And so I've got all this stuff going on. It's really like my DJ decks. dishes, and I'm like that, that Beijing and that's over there. And it's, it's my happy place. So the kids don't eat most events. So I just raise it. I just freeze it in portions for me so that I can have adult food.

36:11

I love the Eat comes back to though knowing what you need and finding that right? Whether it's the rain, forest noise, or the different playlists where it is bathroom, it's cooking, it's knowing Okay, what do I need now and checking in with myself and just navigating that through the different pieces, I think that is so important. You definitely have this adventure, like streak through you, right? Where you make big decisions, big changes, things that maybe to other people would take a lifetime to build up the confidence to do and you're like, Alright, here we go. And you may be doing it scared, but you're still taking that action. And you shared with me that you're thinking about relocating to the United States, which is a huge move. So I'd love for you to talk a little bit about just like making that decision and how this could be applicable to maybe someone else isn't looking to change countries, but they have something that feels really big and scary and life altering. And they're trying to figure out how to actually decide to take action on that.

37:09

ey would start in the fall of:

40:12

Yeah, I think that is such a good feedback. And I love that you talked about that you went and visited. And it wasn't just like a kind of high invocation of Laguna Beach is definitely a specific style of the United States. And it's a different kind of little world down there. But at the same time, you were not just focusing on that you were saying, like, let's just go to a restaurant, or go to a grocery store, a very general basic grocery store, let's see what day to day life would feel like in this place. And I think that is such a good takeaway to say whether it's moving and relocating, or it's taking on a new habit or a new goal and saying, Okay, what would this look like, in reality, and not dressing it up to this big, beautiful thing, but just saying, Okay, what would it look like if you went to lunch? And you felt this way? Or what would it look like if you did this thing with your life and really just made it part of what reality is? And I think that is a really good first step. And then, like you said, holding yourself accountable by sharing it and speaking it out loud. Now, being a single mom, you have your kids that you can speak this to, but how do you cultivate other relationships in your life, so that you have that person that's maybe pouring back into you? Or that you're able to share these big, crazy ideas with as you're really stepping into kind of this unknown, whether it's moving or starting your business? Or maybe it's a big goal in your business? How do you find people that can support you, when it's not a partner,

41:42

I will confess, I still live in the same suburb I lived when I grew up. So I still have a lot of like, my own childhood friends, plus, the friends I've met along the way, plus, I have my great counselor who didn't give it to me from she's, she's got more professional training that for resources and advice. And then I also have a business network as well. So I often enroll in courses and things to be surrounded by people that are doing the same sorts of things. So you can bounce like the business side of things. They might know someone knows, an immigration lawyer, and someone knows this, and someone knows that for the actual, like the business side, but also mentorship and talking about how can I scale my business so that I can make this dream come through. And so I suppose I call for a lot of resources. And I'm really lucky that I'm in the location that I have been my whole life. So I have access to it's like a tight little community and I have access to a lot of old friends. And that's one of the reasons why Laguna Beach is enticing is because we have friends from here, the live there. So they've already got the community set up over there. So it makes it a whole lot easier to come into a community. It's not as scary and frightening. So I think definitely building the network. Around that is is how I'm able to do all of that.

42:57

Oh my gosh, Susie, this was such a good conversation. You're such an amazing person. And I am just so inspired by you and how you show up as a business owner and as a mom. Before we have our few last final questions, I'd love for you to just tell us a little bit more about scantiness because while you're this amazing mom and business owner, you do have this amazing product that so many other women need. So tell us a little bit about really what scanty is our I love the concept that it is like anti shapewear and loving your body like as it is but giving us that real support and things that we need. So tell us about where scan tees is now where women can buy from how they can get them and really try out a pair.

43:42

Okay, fabulous. So scan tees and T shaped were an anti shaped wear movement though we want you to feel amazing in your body just as you are right now. So it's not just the product the product is the physical aspect of the business but then we have the emotional and the mental side as well. So we're really so we're really fixated on our messaging being about I'm sorry but to pet the postcode and recommendation of two pairs of saints to like that just blew me away and it's like when is enough gonna be enough so it is just you don't need to do that to yourself and women on and we really want to promote the idea that women are supposed to have stomachs were supposed to be curvy like the statues of Venus the goddess of beauty, she doesn't have a flat stomach and she's not wearing any spoons. So that's like the real messaging behind it. And then the product is is basically a hybrid of super thin nylon yoga pants like we I bought it off the yoga pant waistband which just places the pressure point so you don't get muscle on top but it's super comfortable and still stays up. So I was when I was making them I was like what is really comfortable and I don't want it digging in. But I want to feel like I'm just like, where like I never want to take the heart and like use Sleeping these so comfy. And so that's why I use the yoga pad top and then they're super thin nylon and super stretchy. But the underwear section is all cotton. So nothing in the underwear that panel is got has got synthetic over it. So it's got maximum breathability. So anyone that's susceptible to any form of infection is not going to have that problem. There was no I read I was in the US last flight two times ago, Adele was actually all over the news because she'd be wearing Spanx for her performances. And they didn't breathe. And she was saying I've got this infection from wearing my Spanx on stage, because there was no airflow basically, and she said I was swept up there and it just had nowhere to go. So we have celebrity endorsement that thanks actually. And it's also expenses also, it's not good for your organs. We've got so many people with IBS and fertility issues and constricting all of that area down there is just not healthy for you. And so then I've done I've also in a great range of like prints, etc. Because I wanted to make it like you want to put them fun. So we have fun, like feisty Feline, which I wear when I feel want to feel like a powerhouse day or I've got these like Princess pirate which is like alcohol with skulls on the sort of they're slightly rebellious but pretty at the same time, and then beautiful pink florals as well. So if your skirt blows up, you're covered like it doesn't matter because they cute to be seen. We obviously do planes, etc, as well. They're going under shear clothes, etc. Right? So they'll give you a smooth line. But they don't move you and it just is just celebrating your own contour. So without Jeter about anything digging in anyway, your contour is beautiful. We don't need to be pushing it and putting it and sucking it and squeezing it. And so that's what that said the product is the tool. Basically you put the product on, and then instantly away, no more chafe. I was actually walking around this morning and I hadn't. I wasn't fully dressed yet. And I was like, oh, and I was chafing. I was like, get the pants on. I put them away. Oh my God, why didn't you do that sooner? It just takes that away. Because once you're in that, if you start taping, the negative chatter in your head that goes on is just you spiral. It's like, oh, I shouldn't have eaten like you stole his body, Shane or body, it's an awful place to be so that you put them on. And also even if you've got something on a tight waist underwear with a tight waistband and you're spilling over the top, I think that brings out the same sort of chatter cycle, it just feels terrible. And so we're scan GS s knt, AES on Instagram and scan T's dot co for our website.

47:29

ressed but you know that Suzy:

48:40

So definitely the Be kind to yourself is huge with me. Because if you're having a rough day, I think do what do whatever you can to just move 1% As you said, it might be having a shout like whatever your 1% is just to some institution rooms that 1% need or because there's actually a handful of you've heard of the book atomic habits by James clear. He says if we just do something towards that 1% Each day, by the end of the year, it's like an exponential curve, how much further we've come so you're 1% Might even be stand in the mirror and say nice things to yourself. You know, like that could be enough about what be kind to you. So what can you do to help yourself feel better stand in the mirror and say you're doing a good job, you've got this like, you've got pretty eyebrows, anything that makes you feel good. If you're not at that level, find something smaller like I like my elbows or something like you can just you've got your everyone's at their starting point and you have to work your way up, but you only have to do 1%. So I think that if people can kind of don't look at the big and thing. Just look at the Watson just two opposite each day. And I think that seems so achievable. And so it doesn't seem like you're trying to climb such a mountain and just know that little by little that 1% does add up might be go outside and put your feet in the grass and look at the trees or the flowers or something I'm big into, like mini meditations and mini breathwork. And YouTube has 8 million. So just just Google Oh, and there's actually like a heap if you feel really bad about yourself, and I had a really bad year, a couple of years ago. And I use this all the time. There's abraham hicks says 1,000,015 minute meditations. And basically, they give you a just a different perspective of your situation. And it's basically everything comes from infinite love. And but I find that those little 15 minute meditations can snap you out of a lot.

50:38

Yeah, I love that so much. And I think the important like differentiator for that is, it's 1% Overall, right? It's not 1% in 10 things today, don't move 1% In your fitness, 1% in your, you know, personal well being 1% in your business and all that it's not 1% I was like you as a whole one thing forward. And I think that ambitious women and moms and people that want to do it all, we often make that mistake, and we can say, Okay, I'm going to do 1% There and there. And then by the end of the year, I'm going to have all these things. And so let's take it back. Yeah, exactly. And I'm equally guilty. I think we all can be guilty, but having that self awareness to take a second and say, Okay, no, just 1% in this one spot today. And that's what I'm going to do. So I love that feedback. Now, other than moving to the United States, and really just making it through your day to day and your 1% What is a goal that you're really excited about right now something that you're just lit up about and moving towards?

51:43

into our business, just make:

52:46

I love that. And yeah, habit stacking is something that I definitely want to build on as well, where I've implemented it for this year is I have had horrible skin since I quit nursing my second child, and now I'm pregnant with our third AI. And so I've been really navigating like good skincare routines. And this year, one of the things that I'm trying out is red light therapy on my skin. And when I'm using that red light therapy at the end of the night, I'm stacking it with reading so that way I'm like, Okay, I have to sit here anyways, for 20 minutes, I'm gonna sit here and I'm gonna read because otherwise I don't prioritize reading. So then I can make that my moment. And I think that is so great. You're bringing it into other areas of your life to through business and whatever else. So we'll have to have you back in here. What are some of the things that you're habit stacking and how you're doing that? So I absolutely love that. So you recommended where to find scan T's we're going to link all that below, how else can women just be in your energy and follow you and really just follow along in your journey,

53:47

g the habits and building our:

54:22

Amazing. That is so exciting. Susie, if you were to just pour into someone listening, you've been in some really big transitions also like dark hard places. And just like Superwoman on top of different seasons. What is a piece of advice or an action item that you would give someone that they could do today?

54:42

I think it would be to really look at inside and just really preasure the beautiful divine being that you are and a little saying I would like to leave as you have been put here for your light to help other people shine there's so by loving us Self and giving your life permission to shine. You actually allow others to shine there. Your purpose on this earth is to shine your light so bright that everybody can feel it.

55:11

Oh my gosh, Susan, thank you so much for your time. You're such an amazing human and I hope you make it to the US because then we can meet up a little more easily.

55:18

Definitely though, it was great chat, Kelsey, thanks so much for having me. Sometimes

55:23

the smallest acts of love is all a mom needs to feel reinvigorated. If you can relate to that I feel so supported by your five star rating and written review. Take a moment and let me know what you thought about this episode.

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