339: From Autopilot to Intentional Living: Ignite Your Life with Dr. Jeff Karp's Life Ignition Tools (LIT)

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Episode 339 • 12th April 2024 • ON AIR WITH ELLA | women's wellness, mindset, motivation • Ella Lucas-Averett

ELLA:

Welcome, you're On Air with Ella where we share simple strategies and tips from people who are doing something better than we are. Whether it's wellness or relationships to just living better and with more energy or changing your mindset to accomplish more in your own life and succeeding however you define it. This is where we share the best of what we're learning from the experts and we're learning more every day. Live better, start now. Let's go. Hey, you're on air with Ella, and today I am joined by Dr. Jeff Karp. Hey, Jeff, how are you?

Jeff Karp:

I'm doing great. Thanks so much for having me on your show.

ELLA:

I'm totally stoked to have you on the show because you just wrote this book that I want to share with everybody, and it is called Lit, which just sounds promising in and of itself. Before we jump into some of the concepts that you share with us for living a life of intention and getting off of autopilot, Jeff, would you kindly tell us who you are and what you do?

Jeff Karp:

Absolutely. At the very core, I am a life experimenter. I see my life as a laboratory. My day job is I run a research lab at the Brigham and Women's Hospital. You know, in Boston, you need to have three affiliations for people to take you seriously. So I have five, my academic appointment goes through Harvard Medical School. And I'm affiliate faculty at MIT through the health sciences and technology program. I also have affiliations at the Broad Institute and the Harvard Stem Cell Institute. And my laboratory focuses on the process of medical innovation. And instead of just publishing papers and academic journals, we look to see how we can make discoveries that we can then bring to patients as quickly as possible. So started or co-founded 13 companies that have brought a number of products to market. But I would say most of all, I really see myself as a father, as a husband, as a mentor. I just gravitate towards sharing insights and just trying to do better every day. And I'm so grateful to have this conversation with you to chat about that.

ELLA:

Well, Jeff, one of the things that's really important to me to share on this platform with my podcast family is I like to make sure that folks are qualified to talk about it, whatever it is. Jeff, I think you might actually be overqualified to talk about this today. I think it's so cool all of the different modalities that you work in and all the different ways that you research and apply some of the concepts that we're going to be talking about today. The first thing that we should do, though, is can you just tell everybody the short version of what LIT means? What is that acronym?

Jeff Karp:

So LIT stands for Life Ignition Tools. It's really about these holistic tools to help us tap into a heightened state of awareness that we can bring to any situation to infuse creativity and connection and deepen our everyday experiences. And as I mentioned, you know, it really came out of my life and some of the early struggles and challenges that I encountered with undiagnosed ADHD and learning differences. But eventually, you know, initially the tools that I sort of was tapping into, I needed for survival. But over time, I was able to transition to use these tools for thriving.

ELLA:

So LIT is Life Ignition Tools, and you say, that LIT spark is the brain's mechanism for tapping into the vital transformative energy that activates our senses and processes. In LIT mode, we engage at the highest level of our abilities. Metaphorically, lit is the swift kick that breaks through the inertia and gets the ball rolling. I am absolutely here for that. I find it really interesting that a big part of your life ignition plan, if you will, is that it begins with questions. So tell me, help me apply this to those joining this conversation with us today. Jif, why is asking lit questions, so to speak, essential for living a life with intention. And like, what questions should we start with?

Jeff Karp:

Well, I think it's important to sort of understand the trajectory of pretty much all our lives in terms of questions and why it's so hard to ask high value questions, why it doesn't come, why it's not sort of like feel like an instinctual thing. And I think the reason is, is that we've all been shamed at some point in our life by somebody else for asking the stupid question. And as soon as a friend or a teacher or a parent or a relative or whoever it is, sort of shames us, it imprints in our minds and it creates hesitation and fear to ask questions. And so by realizing that, I feel that's one of the ways that we can sort of break free from this shame cycle, that it's not our fault. It wasn't, you know, it was, it was sort of like our environment that created the stigma around the hesitation and the fear. If you look at kids before they start the education system, for example, generally, they ask so many questions. They have no fear. So many. No fear, no hesitation. I mean, their questions are all over the place, right? It's just sort of so that all of us were there. We were all born curious. And that curiosity, in some ways, it was educated out of us at some point. I think that for me, what I've found works the best is tapping into my personal curiosity of other people. And what I mean by that is like, I love, I've realized through experimentation that I love to hear about people's paths. Like I love to know about the, like someone moved from one city to another. Like, I want to know, like, how did you do, like, what was in your mind? Like, how did you decide to make this dramatic change? Or like, I want to look for those sort of inflection points in their life or big changes. And I want to understand the rationale behind it. So that's kind of over time, I figured out that that really can create deep connections with people when I'm genuinely curious, and doing that through questioning.

ELLA:

Yes, if so much of your work is designed around encouraging and helping people live more intentionally, I'd love to throw some questions out on the table that we can and should be asking ourselves. So for example, some very basic questions, Jeff, that I think that self-awareness and thus intention can spring from would include like, why am I doing what I'm doing? How did I get this result that I'm now getting curious about? What is driving me? What was behind that? What was going on at the time where I made that choice, where I enacted that behavior? Or what story are my results telling that might contradict the narrative that I'm trying to create for myself? These are the types of questions that I believe in. What do you recommend for someone who's trying to apply a more intentional life strategy today?

Jeff Karp:

Well, first of all, just by having the thought of wanting to be more intentional and especially wanting to be more intentional today, I think that is a big step forward. Right? Because what I've noticed is that just sort of, you know, having that in my mind opens up possibilities for conversations, you know, when you meet your friends for coffee or lunch or whatever, now you have something to ask them about, right? And people, I feel like everybody has strategies for intentionality in different ways. And so one of the ways that we can just really crack that open is we can just be open about it. And we can tell our we can, you know, in conversation with other people, we can say, listen, I'm on a path to be more intentional. What do you do in your day to be intentional? What are some of the areas that you find that you've really queued up or that you're struggling with? And so, you know, it's a way to like connect with other people, because then you sort of realize that everybody's on the same path.

ELLA:

That reminds me because I have this worksheet that I've created for everybody called the Life Wheel Assessment, and it lets you be really intentional and examine where you are. I did not invent this. Everybody's seen it before, but examine where you are in each key bucket of your life, in each key area of your life. So if we are really focused on making decisions from a conscious place and not letting our subconscious drive us, then can you please talk to me about the importance of something you talk about a lot that I'm not even sure I fully understand, and that is lowering our activation energy. Define that and then give us an example of how to do it.

Jeff Karp:

Okay, there's actually two concepts that are really interconnected. I mean, they're really important. So one of them is the activation energy, and the other is the low energy brain state.

ELLA:

Oh, good. That was my next question. Okay, so these are part of the problem. These are things that we'll eventually get into talking about strategies to avoid, but I just want to repeat them. the they are the activation energy, that's one state, and then low energy brain or the lab state le B low energy brain state. Okay, tell me about each.

Jeff Karp:

So okay, so the low energy brain state, we're gonna start there. And it's really I just sort of like coined that phrase for myself like many years ago, because it was literally how I felt a lot of the time that my brain just gravitates to this low energy state. And it's like the state where like, maybe some people can relate to it where you get in your car from point A to point B, you drive and you don't even remember a single thing that you saw along the way. Or maybe you ate some sort of meal and you're shocked at the end of it.

ELLA:

That is no memory.

Jeff Karp:

no memory whatsoever, or, or that you lose your keys, and then you sort of realize they're in your pocket, you know, or it's it's a like an energy saver mode, you know, yeah, very relatable, very relatable, right? Because it really happens to all of us all the time. And, you know, or even like you walk into a room, and then you forget why you the reason why you went to that room, right? So, um, I mean, these things affect me every day. So like, you know, I could list many others. But the thing is, is that there's an evolutionary basis for this. And I feel it's really important for us to connect with that. Because otherwise, you know, it's like, oh, man, my keys are in my pocket. It's so easy to start shaming yourself. But I feel like when you realize the basis behind it, you can sort of exhibit more compassion for yourself because there are things that we're up against in our lives. And one of them is sort of our evolutionary inheritance. We were all hunters and gatherers like 10, 15,000 years ago. We were all working really hard outside, exerting our energy and every ounce of energy that we could conserve, we had to for survival reasons. We never knew when there was going to be a threat on the horizon or we'd have to get up and move to another location because we've depleted our resources. And that stays with us today. To exercise makes no sense. from a survival perspective, right? It doesn't make sense to go to the gym and exert yourself when you may have to run, you know, like five minutes later away from something. And so that's why we need tools and strategies to live the lives that we really want because we are up against that evolutionary inheritance. And so to me, our brains, our bodies gravitate to the low energy brain state. You could even say like the low energy or the low energy body state as well, right?

ELLA:

We're in power save mode.

Jeff Karp:

ed up last summer biking over: 1000

ELLA:

This is so funny to me, because it hit me as counterintuitive at first, because activation energy sounds like something I want. Lots of. It just sounds good. It invokes action. But you're saying activation energy is the minimal amount of energy we need to put something into action or to move toward a goal. This makes so much sense to me because we talk about the power of small steps all the time. And the interwebs would have you believe that everything requires massive action and burn the boats and do the thing. And reality is just less sexy than that. reality is that the smallest thing you can do to move toward the next thing is the thing and I talk about Jeff all the time about how we're constantly seeking motivation and what we want to be doing is actually creating momentum and through the tiniest bits of action and activity and creating the tiniest bit of energy because an object in motion will stay in motion until activated upon by an equal or greater force. And so I am all about the tiniest steps to get you closer and closer. I've just never heard it described that way. I think that's incredibly powerful.

Jeff Karp:

Yeah, I mean, one thing to add to it, I think is that I think people generally practice not achieving their goals, because they set the goal to be too high. And then if you don't achieve it, then you kind of get into the cycle of shaming yourself. And then it's like this auto catalytic, you know, whatever, like you basically make it hard to do anything. And it becomes really difficult to take any steps forward. But I think the goal here is it's a reframe. I've just noticed for myself that whenever I get stuck, whenever I can't figure out a step to take, if I can reframe the situation in some way by learning how others might think about it, that often there's something that clicks. and that allows me to take some steps forward. And so to me, the activation energy is one of those things that is a reframe that actually has just really worked with me in many areas of my life.

ELLA:

Brilliant. And to combine one of your first strategies, which is ask good questions with what you've just explained, is I love when I'm stuck on something, particularly in business, this helps me a lot in business, I say, okay, what would someone who's already succeeded at this do next? What would someone who is 100% comfortable resolving this do in my situation? Like there's just something about separating the problem from the me. that helps me reframe it and pursue resolution, almost outside of myself and my own self imposed constraints. Does that make sense to you?

Jeff Karp:

Yeah, no, it totally makes sense. And actually, I had an experience last night that I wanted to share. I was working, you know, I have this book launches coming up. And I'm like, Oh, what do I do all these things? And I'm like, Okay, I know the dogs really need to go out. And I'm like, but I really want to get something done before I take them out. And I was like, wait a moment. I'm going to do the opposite of what I usually do. So what I normally would do is let's say work for another 30 minutes or whatever, and then I take the dogs out. And I was like, you know what I'm going to do, I'm going to just go take the dogs out right now, even though it's completely, you know, opposite of what I normally would do. So I took them out, I went around the neighborhood, you know, did some breath work a little bit. And I came back, I was totally refreshed. had a different perspective on my work, it allowed me to get it done much more quickly and more creatively, and I felt great. And it was just this one thing, again, I feel like we just get trapped in these patterns, and then we start validating and justifying them to ourselves, like, oh, I have to do this before I have dinner, or I have to do this work before I do that, or there's all these things. But a lot of them, you know, we create these what we think are solid lines around, you know, kind of put things in boxes. What I've realized is most of them are dotted lines. They're just really fictitious illusions that we've created in our mind that we need to do X for Y to happen or whatever. And last night, again, I kind of proved that to myself that I don't have to just stay with the patterns, that there's ways that we can just infuse this fresh energy in our lives constantly.

ELLA:

Yeah, that way of thinking, for example, keeps a lot of parents on their computers and on their phones well into time that was meant for families because we just get stuck in that pattern. And pattern interrupt is not the easiest thing. for we humans, I've noticed, Jeff, like pattern interrupt takes intention and it takes an active energy, which again, when we're just proceeding through life in a low energy brain state, a lot of the times, like channeling the catalyst for change in that moment can be can be hard. So I want to share a couple of your really specific strategies. I want to ask you about the pinch your brain technique. Will you describe to us what the pinch your brain technique is and when somebody would benefit from using it?

Jeff Karp:

had this driveway, which was: 1000

ELLA:

That's a runway. Yeah.

Jeff Karp:

Yeah. It was like our closest neighbor was like a 20 minute walk. And, uh, and nature had such a huge influence on me just, but to your point about pinch the brain, what happened is one day, you know, I got off the bus and I'm in the third grade. I'm still kind of, you know, struggling in school. I get off exhausted and, you know, just wasn't in a great, you know, a lot of rumination, kind of negative rumination and stuff. And so what happened though, is that on this one day I would always look to the sides, you know, the forest and look at the, texture of the bark of the trees and just notice the birds and the squirrels. And I just sort of felt connected to nature as I was walking along this driveway. And one day I saw something I'd never seen before and I couldn't figure out what it was. So I got a little closer. I still couldn't figure it out. I got a little closer and a little closer. Eventually, I was face to face with this thing. I was still trying to figure it out. Then I looked and I was like, oh my God, it's a bat. I had never seen a bat before in my life. It's like hanging upside down. The amazing thing that happened, it was like all the thoughts that were in my brain, all this negative rumination, it got squeezed out. My brain was being pinched. And all I could think about was that bat. And I was amazed. And later that evening and for, you know, after that, I sort of was like, wow, I can't believe all these negative thoughts were squeezed out of my brain. And I was like, wait a moment, maybe there's a way that I can use this intentionally. And so pinch your brain as a tool that I use to you, um, use my intention to focus my attention, just to think or redirect my thinking in meaningful ways throughout my day. And so again, it's sort of like a reframe of attention. I think attention is like, really, this superpower that we all have, because what we focus our attention on directs our thoughts, which eventually leads into our actions, and eventually leads into our sense of wellness and fulfillment and kind of everything, right kind of comes from where we focus our attention. Now, again, talking before, you know, we're saying like, what are we up against? There's $900 billion, billion with a B, spent every year on advertising, on marketing to hijack our attention. That's what we're up against. We're up against nearly a trillion dollars of marketing. And so we need to have strategies to be intentional. And when I think of marketing and advertising and all these things, I think of it as like others are trying to define what's important for us. And so what I've realized in my life is that I need to have tools to focus my attention, to pinch my brain and actually think about it that way so that I can figure out what's truly most important for me. And I think it's something you can do at any time in your day. I'll just give you one quick example. Let's say one meal a day, right? Instead of going on your phone or, you know, and by the way, sometimes if I set the intention of like, I'm not going to use devices, whatever, that never works for me. But if I set the intention of one meal a day, you say to yourself, I am going to connect with the flavors in my meal, right? Just say, okay, I'm going to connect with the flavors of my meal, my meal. And now you're using your intention to focus your attention. So you can't use your device, because if you use your device, then, you know, we can't pay attention to all this stimuli at the same time. We can't really tap into those flavors if our attention somewhere else. And so it's easier, I find, to put my phone down if my intention is to tap into the flavors. And the more I do it, the better I get at it, because my brain's going to be rewired. And the better and the more I do it, the more I'm gonna be able to focus my attention in all other areas of my life. It's just auto-catalytic, it's like the domino effect.

ELLA:

How would you advise, let's use the example that I came up with earlier. You have an achievement-oriented adult who is sitting in their home, maybe at the kitchen table, and they're whacking away on their computer, their email, or their personal device, whatever's going on. And it's seven o'clock at night, and one of their loved ones is trying to get their attention. Because what you're really talking about, Jeff, is cultivating the ability to be present. But let's say I'm that busy person, and I'm distracted by whatever's happening in my electronic field. Jeff, how do I use that technique in that moment?

Jeff Karp:

I would almost say that like redirecting something in that moment would be probably like pretty high activation energy, like to have that expectation that I'd be able to just go from like, because maybe I have that pattern where I do that every day. And so if I'm going to be like, okay, in that moment, I'm going to switch over, to me, that's like that has a high chance of failure, right? But what I would sort of think of is like, okay, I noticed, like, the fact, let's say that I'm like, sort of observing this and cluing into it means that I'm like, open to my inner cues to my mind. my body, you know, other people, like, because you can kind of, if somebody's trying to get your attention, like you can sense that, right. And if you're sensing it, then that's like a huge step forward. And so to me, I would start thinking, okay, I want to connect more with the people around me. I know it's probably too high a bar to expect that I'm going to do it in this moment. But maybe what I can do is sort of gradually, what sort of steps can I take to lower the activation energy to make it so that, you know, I will gradually move towards being able to pay attention. And to me, there's so many things we can practice. I'll give you one example. Let's say I'm having a conversation with my children. I know if they're talking and I come up with something I want to say and I say it in that moment, I immediately shift the energy from them to me. And often I notice they stop talking, right? Like it's over, like the conversation's over because now the attention's on me, it's not on them. And so what I practice throughout my day is, and I think this all like kind of interconnects, is I will say, okay, I have this thought, I really want to say it. I really have to say it. And I'm like, okay, what happens if in this moment, I just don't say it, you know, I just going to hold myself back and not say it. And in fact, I'm going to do the opposite. I'm just going to find a way to encourage my children to keep speaking, right? Because they're teenagers and teenagers talking to their parents can be a very rare event. And so I say to myself, okay, I'm just going to let them speak. And I'm going to encourage them to keep going and sort of because that'll build their confidence, and that'll allow them a vehicle to express themselves. And so to me, like, in that moment, like, literally, it's like seconds of time that I have to dedicate to sort of, sort of focus my attention to pinch my brain to say, Okay, just don't say it. Jeff, don't say it. Just hold back. Just listen. Just listen. And it's hard. It's really hard. But then it kind of the thought I noticed the thought then starts to go away. And I'm like, Oh, yeah. And then I'm like, Okay, that's a win. That's a win. I say that to myself. I didn't say it. I let them continue like talking. You know, that is a win. And that to me, it like it builds from there that gets the ball rolling down the hill. And it really opens ourselves up to be more present.

ELLA:

Yeah, again, it's creating momentum through the smallest step available to you in that moment. That makes perfect sense. Okay. One more. What does it mean to flip the switch?

Jeff Karp:

Flip the switch is really about noticing the patterns that don't match up, right? It's like the gap between what is for us and what we desire that's aligned with our values, what we really want. And it's also about figuring out what the best first step to take, right? So flipping the switch is like sort of figuring out maybe a pattern that we want to change, like what we were just sort of speaking about, and then figuring out what's a step that we could take. There's actually four phases. The first phase is notice your inner desire for possibility, right? And you said it really well. It's like, you know, you're sitting there, you're working, you're kids, and this has happened to me many times, especially sort of earlier when I was just in the grind and I'd become a workaholic. So the first step is noticing your inner desire for possibility, and it could be in anything. And that's a big first step to notice it to be like, oh, I have another human here. And I feel like there's something I should like, I feel like some gravity. But I'm so focused on my work, you know, like, I can't like, I can't go away. I just I need to get this done before tonight, or, you know, whatever it is.

ELLA:

Yes, just because that before that first step is the not noticing. And that's exactly what we've been talking about is that sleep state that you're in where you don't even notice these behaviors. So I just want to honor that first point that just even noticing is truly a step in the right direction. Okay, sorry to interject Jeff, carry on.

Jeff Karp:

Yeah, no, that's such an important point. And also, like our culture, our environment is engineered with all these algorithms to keep us in that sleepy state, like we have to sort of come to that realization. And I feel like that allows us to have more compassion for ourselves when we realize that we are being put to sleep. It's not us who wants to be to be put to sleep. It's actually our culture and our environment that's doing that, you know, like our culture atomizes our attention. It cubes our time and it flattens our imagination. And we need ways to wake up and really figure out how to resensitize our aliveness. And once we notice something, it's a huge first step. So what's the second step? The second step is taking stock of what's working and what's holding us back. What's working? Now, we may have been intentional with our work, and maybe we're making a lot of progress. We actually created patterns that were hyperproductive, and we're able to get things done, and we're feeding off the dopamine of that, and it feels really good. But we haven't put enough attention into our relationships, especially with the people that we really want to prioritize in our life. So that's not working. So the third step is figuring out what are other possibilities? What are other ways of thinking that we can pry that open in so many ways, right? One is once we start thinking about it, we might, for example, I mean, there's so many things like we can tune into podcasts where people are talking about that specific issue. we can bring it up in conversations with our friends or our family or other people, you know, to sort of ask, like, what do you do when you have to get something done for work and you're sort of plugging away, you're in the flow state, and you know, your kid is right there and they want your attention, like, what do you do? And you'll get tons of ideas if you just put it out there, you know, so it's sort of like figuring out that other people have ideas, and they've been through the same thing. And maybe you find people who are going through the same thing right now, and you can band together and start being creative and brainstorming. And then the fourth step, once you sort of figure out a step to take, is exactly that. It's taking that step, taking a deliberate step forward. And again, we don't want to sort of set ourselves up to take a massive step forward, you know, because generally that doesn't work out. We just want a single step. And that's where in this sort of example that we were discussing, The idea was, what about just one time in the day when you're having a conversation with somebody and you feel like saying something and you just let it go? You just let it go and see what happens, you know? And every time I've done that, it feels like I have to say it. It's the most important thing. And it's going to alter the trajectory of, you know, and it's like, my life depends on it. And I let it go. And then I totally forget what it was. And it ends up being like me, like not even really meaningful at all, you know, to say that thing.

ELLA:

Isn't it so funny how sometimes not saying the thing feels like Everest?

Jeff Karp:

It does. But when you do it, when you do it, it feels so empowering. And, and I think that that's kind of part of the secret of life is that we have there's so many things we can do in the day to feel that sense of empowerment, where we make an intentional choice, like we have a thought And then the thought leads to an intentional step in some direction. And it can be as simple as not saying one thing in your day, like literally, like, you know, we're talking seconds. And that like, wait a moment, I didn't say it, I felt like I needed to say it. And I didn't say it like, wow, like that really feels good. It's like you're patting yourself on the back.

ELLA:

I think every married person could benefit from trying that out. Yeah. hypothetically. Well, what I think is so cool about what you've done is we talk all the time about living a life with more intention in it, about waking up from autopilot. But we don't always detail how. And you've written, let's say 300 pages on exactly how how and it's rooted in research. So I just think you've done something really, really cool here, Jeff. I have one last question for you about it. If somebody wants to try to live out more of the life ignition tools and ignited life, what is one concrete step people could take tomorrow to start shaping their thinking?

Jeff Karp:

One would be, and this is something that I was doing today, actually, before this, I was just walking my dogs in the neighborhood. But what I do is I walk around the neighborhood and I cycle through my senses. And it's a way to develop gratitude for this wondrous web of life that we're part of, you know, that we depend on and that we contribute to. And so what I'll do is I walk around the neighborhood and I'll say, sight, and I'll look at the texture of the bark on the trees, and I'll look at the leaves, and I'll look at the squirrels, and I'll look at the birds, and I'll look at the clouds. And I'm just focusing in on that one sense. And then I'll say, like hearing, and I'll just listen, and I'll listen for the birds, and I'll listen for the rustling of the leaves from the wind. And then I'll say touch, and I'll feel the wind sort of hit my face, and I'll feel my heel hit the ground. and the clothes against my skin. And what I'm doing is essentially I'm resensitizing my senses. Like I'm, because our senses are being dulled by this world that we live in, you know, with all the algorithms and, you know, there's so many wonderful things about technology, but where it's actually dulling us in many ways. And so it's just such a simple thing that we can do. And it helps, I think, I don't know, I just find like, I've been doing it for a while now, and it just brought me this appreciation for what's around us.

ELLA:

Well, Jeff, every life coach needs this book and they need to treat it like a manual. And all of those people like me who are their own life coach need to pick this up and treat it like their manual. Thank you for sharing a glimpse into your world with us today. I so appreciate it, Jeff. And I would love for you to tell everybody where they can find you if they'd like to connect.

Jeff Karp:

Thank you for that. I have a website, JeffKarp.com. So just my name and last name is with a K. Jeff, thank you. Thank you so much. I've enjoyed this conversation.

ELLA:

Okay, I hope you enjoyed today's show and got something out of it that you can use. If you did and you wanna learn more, just head over to onairella.com, where I put up links to all of the stuff that you did not need to write down today because I got you covered. There's no with, it's just onairella.com. Thanks for listening, thanks for sharing the show, and thanks for inspiring me. You are quite simply awesome.

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