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358 – Starting Over at 50 THIS Time Your Way with Jennifer Arthurton
Episode 35819th February 2022 • Gift Biz Unwrapped • Sue Monhait
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Thinking about starting over at 50 as an entrepreneur or anything else? It's actually more and more common but nobody talks about it. So, let's talk about it.  Because as women who’ve reached middle age, we have so much to offer to others and ourselves. Midlife is a time when we analyze how we want to live the second half of our lives. AND decide what’s really important. It's an opportunity to release the expectations that in the past we felt we needed to live up to and now do things for ourselves. Whether that means starting a second career or picking up a past interest or new activity you’ve always wondered about. In this episode, we talk about how now is your time! How to reconnect with ourselves and get re-introduced to our passions. You’ll also hear about the concept of No Zero Days and the details of this very important stage in our life – the Maven Years. And whether you’ve reached your Maven Years yet or not, this is one of the most powerful episodes I’ve ever created to serve you. It can empower you if you’re at this point, or prepare you if it’s in your future. As women, regardless of our life stage, we can stand tall and proud. Jennifer Arthurton is the creator and founder of Old Chicks Know Sh*t, a community designed to inspire and support midlife women in chasing their dreams and creating their kick-ass next chapter. Jennifer is an empowerment coach, podcast host, writer, and speaker. Having made her own midlife course correction, she is a passionate advocate of the inherent power and knowledge that women possess at a time when they often feel overlooked and doubt themselves most.

Starting Over At 50 As An Entrepreneur (Or Anything Else)

  • No Zero  Days = Take the tiniest possible step every day that will take you in the direction you want. Little steps add up to massive things.
  • Spend some time going inwards. Get connected with yourself.
  • Be intentional and focus on your authentic beliefs.
  • Figure out what’s important to you and what legacy you want to leave.
  • Never fall into that trap of questioning your value in the world.
  • Carve time out for yourself. Spend time doing something you love.
  • Your purpose is to find joy and excitement.
  • Help others step into their power.
  • Do whatever you want or need to do to feel good about yourself and connect with yourself.
  • Stand in the fact that you are a strong, vibrant, smart, kick-ass woman. Ground yourself in that and don't take on what comes in from the outside world.
Listen to the full conversation for so much more about how to change your mindset about aging and starting over at 50 as an entrepreneur or anything else!

Maven Years:

  • Maven = An expert with knowledge and wisdom to share.
  • The Maven Years are the 30-40 years between the end of the "motherhood" phase before you reach the "crone" stage.
  • We have knowledge. We have wisdom. But we're still young enough to use that to actually change the world.
  • Mavenhood is about coming back to yourself, coming back to your truest nature. And figuring out what you want to do.  What legacy do you want to leave? What's the mark you want to leave behind? It's really a mindset switch.
Tune in to this inspiring episode to change the way you think of who you are and what you're capable of!

Resources Mentioned

Jennifer's Contact Links

WebsiteFacebook | Instagram

Join Our FREE Gift Biz Breeze Facebook Community

Become a Member of Gift Biz Breeze If you found value in this podcast, make sure to subscribe so you automatically get the next episode downloaded for your convenience. Click on your preferred platform below to get started. Also, if you'd like to do me a huge favor - please leave a review. It helps other creators like you find the show and build their businesses too. You can do so right here: Rate This Podcast Apple PodcastsGoogle PodcastsSpotify Thank you so much! Sue Know someone who needs to hear this episode? Click a button below to share it!

Transcripts

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Gift biz unwrapped episode 358.

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When we think about Starting something new or starting over,

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and we might be in our forties or fifties,

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it feels like an act of rebellion,

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almost Attention.

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Gifters bakers,

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crafters, and makers pursuing your dream can be fun.

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Whether you have an established business or looking to start one.

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Now you are in the right place.

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This is gift to biz unwrapped,

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helping you turn your skill into a flourishing business.

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Join us for an episode,

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packed full of invaluable guidance,

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resources, and the support you need to grow.

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Your gift biz.

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Here is your host gift biz gal Sue moon Heights.

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Hi there.

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It's Sue and I'm so happy that you're joining me here

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today. Before we get into the show,

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I want to make sure you know about the big event

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happening at gift biz on wrapped this coming week.

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The doors officially open for enrollment into maker's MBA 2022 on

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Monday. So that's February 21st.

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If you're listening to this episode,

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as it releases,

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I'm doing things entirely different this year,

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the rollout is different.

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The pricing is different,

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and honestly,

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I've never seen anyone launch a program this way,

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and I'm pretty excited to test it out.

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There are lots of benefits for you with this new structure

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too, but here's the key to get the information and have

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the opportunity to enroll.

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You have to either be on my email list or in

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my Facebook group gift biz breeze.

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The best way to make sure that you don't miss out

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is to go to gift biz unwrapped.com

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forward slash M M B a waitlist and sign up.

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Then watch your email for all the information don't delay because

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the enrollment period is short and fast.

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This time.

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If the idea of starting a business by selling your handmade

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products has been swirling around in your mind.

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because the attention for handmade products along with the focus of

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supporting small business is at an all time high.

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Maybe you've already started your business,

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but aren't seeing the growth that you want,

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or, you know,

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you should have other things in place,

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but you don't know what or how,

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or just overall you aren't sure if you're doing this right.

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If any of this sounds like you maker's MBA can come

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to your rescue.

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Maker's MBA gives you step by step guidance and support as

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Think of it as a lifetime resource on how to,

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and what's next for every stage of your business.

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Once you're in,

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you have access forever,

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including all updates and enhancements to the trainings.

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Again, to make sure this doesn't pass you by and to

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learn all the details of this year's makers MBA program.

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Sign up to the list at gift biz,

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unwrapped.com forward slash M M wait list.

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It's the only way to get info on admission this coming

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watch your inbox,

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where all the answers to your questions will be revealed today.

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We're addressing a topic.

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I don't hear covered much at all.

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As women who've reached middle age,

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we have so much to offer to others and ourselves.

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It's a time when we analyze what we want for the

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second half of our life and decide what's really important.

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We can release the expectations that in the past we felt

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we needed to live up to,

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and now do things for ourselves.

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Maybe it's starting a second career or picking up a past

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interest or new activity that you've always considered.

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We're going to talk about why now is your time,

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how to reconnect with yourself and to get re-introduced to your

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passions. You'll also learn about the concept of no zero days

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and the details of this very important stage in our life,

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the Maven years.

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Oh my gosh.

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I am.

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So looking forward to this conversation,

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I'd like to introduce you to Jennifer Arthurton,

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she's the creator and founder of old chicks.

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No-show a community designed to inspire and support midlife women in

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chasing their dreams and creating their ass.

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Next chapter,

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Jennifer is an empowerment coach podcast,

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host writer and speaker having made her own midlife course correction.

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She is a passionate advocate of the inherent power and knowledge

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that women possess at a time when they often feel overlooked

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and doubt themselves the most,

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like I said,

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I can not wait to get into this conversation,

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Jennifer, welcome to the gift biz unwrapped podcast.

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Thanks so much for having me.

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I think this is going to resonate with a lot of

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our listeners here,

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but before we get into that,

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I have a question that I like to ask each guest,

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because it gives us a creative and different way of understanding

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who you are.

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And that is by having you describe yourself as a motivational

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candle. So if you were to envision a candle that really

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would speak all you,

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Jennifer, what would it look like by a color?

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And then a quote or a saying?

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Yeah, That question so much.

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So my candle self is white.

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She is very bright and her mantra is chase your dreams.

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It's never too late.

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It is never too late seriously.

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And this aligns completely with the topic,

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right? Do you find that a lot of people feel like

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it is too late?

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Yeah. I mean,

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we live in a culture that basically says,

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especially to women,

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that as soon as you get into your forties and your

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fifties, it's like downhill slope to old age oblivion,

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which is simply not true.

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And when I was forced to begin,

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reinventing my life at the age of 50,

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I actually bought into that for quite a long time,

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like who starts over at 50?

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Like what's even possible at this point.

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Like, aren't I supposed to be riding off into the retirement

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sunset, but no,

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here I am starting over.

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No, no,

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not yet.

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That is what is positioned to us.

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Like if you think about it through media and advertising and

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even just cultural belief,

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but that's kind of the way that it's positioned to us.

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And so when we think about starting something new or starting

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over and we might be in our forties or fifties,

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it feels like an act of rebellion.

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Almost Add in people starting in their sixties too.

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But I remember when I was younger,

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like I would hear midlife crisis and all that.

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And I'm like,

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yeah, yeah,

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yeah, whatever.

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But then when I experienced it and I'm thinking everyone experiences

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at different levels and different intensities,

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I'm like,

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yeah, this is real.

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I get it.

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And I'm sure we'll get into some of those stories back

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and forth a little bit.

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But before we do that,

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I'd love to hear your,

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So I was a corporate executive.

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I had a 30 year corporate career in marketing.

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I was a wife.

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I was a mother.

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I call myself a gym rat.

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Like I was the person who was in the gym at

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6:00 AM before going to work every day.

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And then in the year leading up to my 50th birthday,

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I found myself divorced,

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empty, nested.

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My daughter moved three hours away to go to school.

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I lost my job and I became bedridden with a stress-related

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illness. Oh my gosh.

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So everything hit you at once.

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Like a complete life change,

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Complete life change.

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It was like,

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my life was going in one direction.

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And then within the span of a year,

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it had completely like everything that was available to me,

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every identity that I had in the world was basically stripped

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away. Like I had no idea who I was.

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So there I was at age 50 lying in my bed

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feeling very sorry for myself,

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throwing huge PD parties.

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Well in physically not feeling well either I'm understanding Basically I

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couldn't even get out of bed like to go grocery shopping

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was like an act of heroism.

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Like I could not go grocery shopping and then put the

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groceries away after I would have to like rest.

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There was a lot of days where I couldn't get out

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of bed.

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My body was just saying,

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Nope, we are not doing this.

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And so even that part,

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you know,

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and I have a story about how much I try to

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control and manipulate the situation that was happening to me.

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But like every part of who I thought I was at

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the age of 50 was no longer available to me.

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And the scary part was I realized that I had no

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idea who I was or what I wanted.

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So there's part of me,

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that's saying like,

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who starts over at 50?

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Is this even possible?

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What's possible.

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Like, how do I do this?

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What are people going to think?

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Right. And then there's another part of me was just like

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too tired to even think about it.

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Were you happy with your life before?

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Like, were you satisfied in your corporate job and the way

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your life was set up before the big blast of it?

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So here's the thing.

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When I look back on it,

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it's very typical.

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Like I would find myself in moments,

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kind of looking around at my life and going is this,

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it is like this,

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all there is,

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is this what I worked so hard for?

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And like,

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I'd be in the boardroom and I'd be just kind of

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zoning out of a meeting and thinking,

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wow, this is it.

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And so those thoughts would come up periodically and I would

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immediately push them away because I'm like,

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first of all,

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back to real life,

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I got a job to do here.

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And when I look at it now,

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I was actually too afraid to even acknowledge those thoughts.

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Because if I acknowledged it,

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I was going to have to do something about it.

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And the thought of like,

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for example,

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leaving a 30 year career in a global world-renowned organization,

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I was paid well,

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I had amazing job perks.

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And for the most part I did like my job,

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but there was this nagging part of me that was just

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kinda like,

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Hmm. I wonder if there's more,

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there has to be more,

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this can't be it because my whole career,

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like my whole life,

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basically that led to that point was me doing everything that

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I thought I should do.

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So go to school,

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get good grades,

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go to a good college,

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get a good job,

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work your way up through the corporate ranks.

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And I did all of that.

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And then I got to the top and I was kind

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of like,

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wow, okay.

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This is it.

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This is what I worked for.

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This was my whole life.

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This was my achievement.

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And it just felt a little bit empty.

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I was like,

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they had to be more Interesting.

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Okay. So what happens Next?

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So after many months I will say of simply everyday asking.

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So I started a process of like journaling.

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I started meditating and after a process of daily going through

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these processes of asking the question,

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like, who am I like really underneath it all?

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Who am I?

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And what is it,

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what do I want?

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I started taking the tiniest little steps that I could towards

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just doing anything.

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So I would go for a 10 minute walk in nature

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and I'd be like,

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okay, that felt good.

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Cause that's all I could manage for that day.

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And then it would be back to bed or,

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you know,

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I started feeling a tug to start writing.

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So I just started journaling my thoughts and writing about my

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experience. And one thing led to another and I just kept

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following what are the things that I'm liking like,

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oh, I really liked that experience.

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Let me do that again.

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And I just kept following what I call following the energy.

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So not with a big master plan or anything,

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just taking actions that felt good to you at the time.

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Exactly. Because I am a firm believer of when you follow

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your joy or when you follow your bliss or your intuition,

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it brings you to more of that.

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And so we as humans and I think this is a

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true of everybody.

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We kind of get into this all or nothing thinking like

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I'm this or I'm that.

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And we tend to ignore the steps in between.

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And for a lot of us,

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those steps are tiny little things that are just leading us

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towards things that we love or things that give us energy

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or things that bring us joy.

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And the more we do those things,

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the more of those things that we attract to artists.

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And we just keep following that chain until I was writing

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this kind of blog,

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just for myself about my own experience,

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my own life,

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my own process of discovery.

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And then one day I woke up and I was like,

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I should publish this in a blog.

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I was like,

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what are you doing?

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Why are you publishing this for the world to see?

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But I did it.

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I just was like,

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okay, I have this instinct and I did it.

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And I published the blog and I remember like I had

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to sit on my hands for three days to not delete

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what I had put out there because I was so afraid

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of what people would think like,

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oh my goodness,

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this woman's lost her marbles.

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Like what's going on?

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And then I don't got past the three days and I

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was like,

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oh, okay.

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And then I felt compelled to do it again.

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And so what started as the blog just kept rolling forward

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into the podcast,

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into coaching,

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into, you know,

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I am now establishing a charity for midlife women.

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Like it's all of these things that have literally just evolved

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in front of me by following my instinct and the things

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that make me happy and bring me joy.

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Well, I love your story and it's subtle,

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but powerful.

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Just the comments that you're making about,

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just do a tiny step,

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just do one activity,

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one thing.

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And I think that that resonates with a lot of us

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who are listening here is maybe we have jobs already.

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We are happy in them,

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but there's something behind the scenes that saying,

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oh, I want to try this.

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I might like this.

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And hearing your story.

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It started with one blog article.

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Granted, you delayed putting it out for a couple days,

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but it was just one you weren't saying,

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I'm going to start this big,

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massive blog and people are going to loosen and there's going

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to be articles like you didn't go into all of that.

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You tested it to see how you felt about it.

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And then it went from there.

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Yeah. I'm always talking about this and that like taking the

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tiniest possible step.

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You think you can take in a direction of something that

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you want,

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right? Because again,

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it's this,

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like, I must take big leaps and bounds to get there.

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When the reality is those tiny little steps,

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add up to massive things in a much shorter space of

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time that you can imagine.

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But one of the things that I've been trying to do

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is get back into yoga.

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And so I have this thing that I called no zero

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days, whereas I have to do something in the direction of

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that goal every day.

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And sometimes those things are okay today.

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All I need to do is just roll out my mat

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and stand on it for three minutes.

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And then I can check that that wasn't a zero day.

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Like I actually did something in that direction.

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It's not a huge leap or bound.

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I didn't do a one hour practice that left me feeling

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amazing. Like all I feel capable of today is rolling out

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my mat and standing on it well.

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And likely when you take to use that example specifically,

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when you stand at that mat,

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you're going to do a stretcher too.

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Or then you're going to say,

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I'm going to do a pose or to,

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you know,

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at one thing leads to another,

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but you start with the mindset of rolling out the mat

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and standing on it.

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That's it?

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Because whenever we're trying to establish a new habit or a

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new goal,

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our natural normal human brains will try and keep us in

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our comfort zone.

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Right? Like it'll throw every obstacle at you and can show

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every reason at you why you shouldn't do that thing.

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And the way to fool your brain is to do the

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tiniest little thing.

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Cause like you said,

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the tiniest little step leads to another tiny step.

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And then you look at the week and you're like,

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wow, I got on my yoga mat seven times this week.

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And I actually did like a 15 minute practice.

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Yeah. That's a couple hours that you wouldn't have done otherwise.

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So I think this direction is wonderful.

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Also for those who are listening,

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who are saying,

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I know I want to do something else,

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but I don't know what that is yet.

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How do I figure it out?

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And it's not like all of a sudden you're sleeping and

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in the middle of the night you wake up and you're

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like, I've got it.

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No, that doesn't happen that way.

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But a lot of people struggle with,

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well, what is it going to be for me?

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And so to your point about testing different things,

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doing what feels good,

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dipping your toe in the water of whatever you think would

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be interesting.

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Not that that's going to be the thing,

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but it could lead you to the thing.

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And the other part of that is I truly believe that

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we all have the answers that we are searching for inside

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of us.

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The problem is for most of us,

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we have become really disconnected from ourselves.

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So life is busy.

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We live in the information age where we're getting a billion

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pieces of information thrown at us every day,

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we got all of our jobs and our obligations and our

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duties that we have to take care of.

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And in that process,

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we become totally disconnected from who we are and what makes

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us happy.

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Like what's our joy.

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So definitely for me,

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I realized as I was lying there in my bed,

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staring at the ceiling going,

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I've got no clue who I am.

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I have no clue what makes me happy.

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And so I had to spend some time going inwards,

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which is why I took up a meditation practice.

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It was like in my meditation practice,

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again started with three minutes of just sitting in silence and

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just paying attention to my breath.

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It was just a way to calm my brain down enough

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to see what thoughts came out.

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And it was through that process where for example,

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it would be like,

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okay, just go for a 10 minute walk in nature.

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Okay. I'm like,

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all right,

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I can do that.

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No problem.

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And then it's like,

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I had never written anything in my life other than like

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a corporate presentation or things like that.

Speaker:

And that kind of came up in that space when I

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was like,

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okay, all right,

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we're going to write.

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And then I discovered,

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wow. It kind of really like writing.

Speaker:

And then the podcast came about because I started talking to

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other women about their experiences.

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I'm like,

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if I'm going through this other women have to be like,

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where are all these amazing women who are creating these amazing

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next chapters?

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They have to be out there somewhere.

Speaker:

So I went in search of them and I started having

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these conversations and I was like,

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okay, you need to record these conversations.

Speaker:

I had never,

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even the thought ever dreamed about starting a podcast.

Speaker:

And I have to say,

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it's probably the thing that I do that brings me the

Speaker:

most amount of joy.

Speaker:

Like I am so lit up after I do a podcast.

Speaker:

I'm like floating on air for the rest of the,

Speaker:

I know,

Speaker:

are you like me?

Speaker:

Like after I record an episode that I know is just

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going to be so valuable,

Speaker:

just like after I press the button so that our recording

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is over,

Speaker:

I just get this rush in me.

Speaker:

Yeah. It's wonderful.

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Yeah. And this is the thing.

Speaker:

So it's getting connected with yourself enough that you can kind

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of hear that inner voice.

Speaker:

What do you want to call it?

Speaker:

Your intuition or there's bigger spiritual context to it,

Speaker:

but whatever it is,

Speaker:

it's just to quiet yourself enough that you can hear what's

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coming from inside you because we all have the answers.

Speaker:

Well, you know,

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it would be nice if we could just go to the

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file cabinet.

Speaker:

That's titled here is your answer.

Speaker:

But unfortunately it doesn't work that way.

Speaker:

Although some of us don't get to as dramatic a place

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in life as you did.

Speaker:

And in a way,

Speaker:

I guess you tell me if this is how you feel

Speaker:

about it,

Speaker:

but it was kind of good that that happened because the

Speaker:

intensity of it led you to what you're doing,

Speaker:

because what you ended up needing to do is your solution

Speaker:

was pretty much for your own survival,

Speaker:

a hundred.

Speaker:

I consider it probably the greatest gift I've ever had in

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my life.

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Because what I realized,

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you know,

Speaker:

I alluded to this before is I was acting out of

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obligation. I was doing what I thought I should be doing.

Speaker:

And nowhere along the way,

Speaker:

did I actually check in with myself to say,

Speaker:

is this making you happy?

Speaker:

Is this bringing you joy?

Speaker:

Is this how you want to be spending your time?

Speaker:

I never considered that.

Speaker:

I was just like,

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here's the path that was laid out in front of me.

Speaker:

It's like,

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okay, follow along.

Speaker:

And I truly believe that this is the power of midlife.

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And why so many of us kind of have these moments

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of consideration about how do I want to spend the next

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20, 30,

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40, 50 years of my life is because when we reach

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that point in midlife,

Speaker:

I mean,

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everything in our lives are shifting at that point.

Speaker:

You know,

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we are experiencing menopause.

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Our kids are leaving home and maybe our careers are changing.

Speaker:

And it really is a point where we get to,

Speaker:

we have the opportunity to stop and consider ourselves sometimes like

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me for the first time ever in my life,

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right. To say,

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what is important to me?

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Like what do I want my life to be?

Speaker:

And I truly,

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100% believe that this shift in our lives,

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like all of the things that are happening to us physically,

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mentally, and emotionally at this time of our lives is not

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just like a mother nature,

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forgot about us.

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It's very intentional to get us focused on ourselves,

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on what our true,

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authentic beliefs are,

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what our gifts are,

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all of that stuff.

Speaker:

It's to stop us like to bring us up short so

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that we can actually consider these things for the first time

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maybe ever.

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And that's literally what it was for me.

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I mean,

Speaker:

I was going along in my life and probably had it

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not happened.

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I would still be on that path.

Speaker:

Have you ever watched Dr.

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Phil, have you seen the episodes where he talks,

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you know,

Speaker:

it fits with different topics,

Speaker:

but he does this thing where he lays out on the

Speaker:

floor. However many number of years lifespan is.

Speaker:

So let's say for women,

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it's, I'm picking a number.

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I don't know what it is,

Speaker:

but let's call it 92.

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Okay. And then he makes a woman stand on the age

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that she is and have her look back at all the

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years that have already happened,

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like all the numbers on the floor and then look forward

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and you get a real perspective of where you are.

Speaker:

And that's so powerful.

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So I'm just bringing it up because in our minds,

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I, even,

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all of us can create our own mind and think about

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where we are.

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And I think as we get older,

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which doesn't happen when you're younger,

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because when you're younger,

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you think you have forever,

Speaker:

right? Like,

Speaker:

you know,

Speaker:

logically, you're going to get older,

Speaker:

but it's so far off in the future,

Speaker:

it doesn't matter.

Speaker:

And then all of a sudden you wake up one morning

Speaker:

and there it is.

Speaker:

But the good thing about that,

Speaker:

I think Jennifer,

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tell me what you think is it's time to act because

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you can't delay any more.

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Because if you look to Dr.

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Phil's mine,

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how much more time do you have?

Speaker:

What do you want to waste?

Speaker:

Plus you don't know how capable you're going to be for

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all those years.

Speaker:

When you think about the span of a woman's life,

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I often look at this in chapters.

Speaker:

So the first part of her life is the maiden years

Speaker:

where it all about attracting a mate,

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starting a family.

Speaker:

Then there's the mother phase,

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which self-explanatory we raise our families.

Speaker:

And then typically what you see is this idea of crone,

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which is the wizard old woman sitting on the mountain,

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top sharing wisdom with the world,

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but in between mother and crone.

Speaker:

And like,

Speaker:

when I saw that definition,

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I'm like,

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yeah, but I'm not an 80 year old woman yet.

Speaker:

Like, I'm not like this old wisdom woman who knows everything.

Speaker:

It's like,

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I wasn't relating to that.

Speaker:

So when I looked at the gap between when motherhood,

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when your typical mothering duties are over and crone,

Speaker:

I realized that there is like a 30 to 40 year

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span of life,

Speaker:

which is actually the longest phase of our lives.

Speaker:

And it seemed to be ignored everywhere.

Speaker:

I looked.

Speaker:

And so I returned those years,

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the Maven years.

Speaker:

And if you look at the dictionary definition of the word

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Maven, it says an expert with knowledge and wisdom to share.

Speaker:

So it's not like we know it all.

Speaker:

And we've lived this long life and we're sitting on the

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mountaintop, there's this whole section of time where we have knowledge,

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we have life experience and we've acquired wisdom through that,

Speaker:

but we're still young enough to use that,

Speaker:

to actually change the world.

Speaker:

And so this whole phase of what I call Maven hood

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really is about coming back to yourself,

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coming back to your truest nature,

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and then figuring out like what it is that you want

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to do.

Speaker:

What's important to you.

Speaker:

What legacy do you want to leave?

Speaker:

What's the mark that you want to leave behind for your

Speaker:

family or your community or whatever that looks like.

Speaker:

It sounds like it's really a mindset switch.

Speaker:

Also. It's exactly that because you could also be a Maven

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in your corporate career,

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you've risen the ranks.

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If you will.

Speaker:

Now you have newbies coming in who you are now teaching

Speaker:

versus you in the past,

Speaker:

having been a student or aspiring.

Speaker:

Exactly. And that's actually how enabled chicks notion came to pass.

Speaker:

Because back in my corporate days,

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when we would have new people join the team and it

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was a total joke,

Speaker:

but one of the things we would say is just follow

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us old checks.

Speaker:

Cause we know some shit,

Speaker:

right. And then when I was in that period of figuring

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out what I was,

Speaker:

what's next,

Speaker:

it came back and full force.

Speaker:

And I was like,

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oh, this has a whole different meaning now.

Speaker:

Well, what do you say?

Speaker:

And I've experienced this not too much because I've been running

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my own business now for quite a while,

Speaker:

but I was starting to feel it a little bit.

Speaker:

Well, is that true?

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No, that isn't true.

Speaker:

I do sense it sometimes out in my day to day

Speaker:

is that as you get older,

Speaker:

there are times when you're discounted oh,

Speaker:

a hundred percent.

Speaker:

So let's talk about that a little bit.

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I had never,

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ever experienced that before.

Speaker:

You know,

Speaker:

I come from a family where I was the youngest by

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far. And then even as I was raising the ranks in

Speaker:

corporate, I was also the youngest.

Speaker:

I had a lot of people to look up to and

Speaker:

aspire to be also.

Speaker:

And then all of a sudden,

Speaker:

when you get to that place,

Speaker:

there are less people,

Speaker:

less paths to look up to in terms of where you

Speaker:

want to go.

Speaker:

But there's also that dynamic that your perceived differently 100%.

Speaker:

And this is probably the biggest reason why I do the

Speaker:

work that I do is because I see so many brilliant,

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ambitious, smart,

Speaker:

like truly amazing women who are in their forties,

Speaker:

fifties, sixties,

Speaker:

and even older who are doubting themselves,

Speaker:

right? Like in some aspects that are more confident than they've

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ever been.

Speaker:

And then in other areas,

Speaker:

they are completely doubting themselves.

Speaker:

And part of the reason for that is that we live

Speaker:

in a culture that idolizes youth,

Speaker:

right? And this was like,

Speaker:

one of my pet peeves is when I really started paying

Speaker:

attention to this is like every time you see a woman

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who's in her forties or fifties in a television commercial or

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an ad it's for things like bladder leakage protection meal,

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replacement, shakes,

Speaker:

vitamins to keep you energized.

Speaker:

So you can play with your grandkids.

Speaker:

And I was like,

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okay, that's nice.

Speaker:

And that's good.

Speaker:

And those are very necessary things for our part of the

Speaker:

population. But it's also a tiny sliver of who we are

Speaker:

as midlife women.

Speaker:

So I was like,

Speaker:

where's the representation of women starting over women,

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climbing mountains,

Speaker:

you know,

Speaker:

women starting businesses and running charities,

Speaker:

like where is that?

Speaker:

And it was nowhere to be found.

Speaker:

And so I read a stat one day that said that

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we are bombarded with something like 30,000

Speaker:

images a day about what it means to be the perfect

Speaker:

woman. And the definition of the perfect woman has served up

Speaker:

to us by the media is between the ages of 25

Speaker:

and 35 with a certain physique.

Speaker:

You know,

Speaker:

that is,

Speaker:

becomes what we measure ourselves up to,

Speaker:

right? Like very subconsciously of course.

Speaker:

I mean,

Speaker:

we know that we're older and we know that things have

Speaker:

changed. We've got more gray hair and wrinkles and you know,

Speaker:

maybe our bodies have shifted,

Speaker:

but subconsciously we are measuring ourselves up against what we think

Speaker:

or what our culture has served up to us as being

Speaker:

the definition of what a woman should look like.

Speaker:

And that then causes us to focus on the things like

Speaker:

are changing bodies.

Speaker:

Our wrinkles are graying hair and we become,

Speaker:

so hyper-focused on that as being our value in the world,

Speaker:

as opposed to our true value,

Speaker:

which is the knowledge and the wisdom and the life experience

Speaker:

that we have,

Speaker:

like all the skills and capabilities that we have collected along

Speaker:

the way.

Speaker:

Happy to see that a little bit of that seems to

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be changing.

Speaker:

I mean,

Speaker:

we're starting to see all different body sizes in some of

Speaker:

the fashion,

Speaker:

magazines and catalogs and all as well as all different ages.

Speaker:

So I think there's been some progress made,

Speaker:

but it's still out there for sure.

Speaker:

Yeah. I mean,

Speaker:

we still have a long way to go.

Speaker:

And even now sometimes we'll see gray hair models and things

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like that,

Speaker:

which I think is absolutely amazing.

Speaker:

And I applaud it,

Speaker:

but even some of those images are women who are genetically

Speaker:

gifted, that their hair went is the exact right of shade

Speaker:

of gray to compliment their faces,

Speaker:

that they tend to be tolerant thinner.

Speaker:

So we're making steps and definitely body size and body positivity

Speaker:

and all of that.

Speaker:

But I think there is still a,

Speaker:

quite a ways to go,

Speaker:

to be able to see midlife women for what they are.

Speaker:

I mean,

Speaker:

we've been taught as a culture that our value lies in

Speaker:

our ability to have kids and to raise kids and what

Speaker:

we look like.

Speaker:

And so when we're no longer active momming,

Speaker:

we're no longer able to have children and we don't look

Speaker:

the same as we did.

Speaker:

It can be easy.

Speaker:

I can see exactly how we can fall into that trap

Speaker:

of questioning.

Speaker:

Our value in the world Is one of your goals for

Speaker:

this year,

Speaker:

a new approach to social.

Speaker:

Are you finally admitting that you're spending far too much time

Speaker:

there without seeing anything in the way of results?

Speaker:

Or do you jump onto Instagram planning to post,

Speaker:

but get caught up in all the fabulously produced reels,

Speaker:

then you get intimidated and step back.

Speaker:

Yeah, me too.

Speaker:

We know at this point we should post consistently with quality

Speaker:

content, but when it comes time to actually do it,

Speaker:

figuring out what to post is overwhelming and time consuming.

Speaker:

That's why I created content for makers.

Speaker:

Last year.

Speaker:

Many of you have purchased this high value,

Speaker:

low cost program and have new found ease in your posting.

Speaker:

And guess what,

Speaker:

if you already have content for makers,

Speaker:

there's no need to purchase it ever again,

Speaker:

one and done because it teaches you a posting strategy and

Speaker:

prompts that are timeless and can be used over and over

Speaker:

again. Now,

Speaker:

based on your feedback,

Speaker:

I've enhanced content for makers to include a hard copy social

Speaker:

media scheduler,

Speaker:

because makers like tangible planners where we can add our own

Speaker:

creative punch to the mix,

Speaker:

right? Drum roll,

Speaker:

introducing connected 2020 to a content scheduler that helps you plan

Speaker:

out your topics,

Speaker:

whether they're for social media,

Speaker:

blog articles or videos,

Speaker:

all in one place.

Speaker:

Now to clarify,

Speaker:

this is not your daily planner,

Speaker:

this is focused on content planning.

Speaker:

It includes direction on how to nail down a strategy,

Speaker:

monthly cues for new content and your own images.

Speaker:

And it can be used in conjunction with content for makers

Speaker:

or as a standalone resource.

Speaker:

Finally feel in control of your content with a strategy and

Speaker:

purpose, not to something random that you think of on the

Speaker:

fly to publish that day.

Speaker:

Intentional content saves time.

Speaker:

So you can focus on other business tasks and attracts customers,

Speaker:

which brings eyes to your brand and orders to your cart.

Speaker:

To see more about the connected 2022 social media scheduler,

Speaker:

go to gift biz on rapt.com

Speaker:

forward slash connected 2022.

Speaker:

And now let's get back to the shell.

Speaker:

So what is your advice for people who are feeling less

Speaker:

than because of any number of the things that we talked

Speaker:

about? I am a huge proponent of people doing whatever it

Speaker:

is that they want to need to feel compelled to do,

Speaker:

to feel good about themselves.

Speaker:

But my advice is,

Speaker:

you know,

Speaker:

okay, I still dye my hair because really I hate the

Speaker:

shade of gray that my misses Coming in.

Speaker:

I'm with you.

Speaker:

I still go to the gym partly for health reasons,

Speaker:

but I also want to fit into my jeans.

Speaker:

Right. And I get eyelash extensions because I hate mascara.

Speaker:

I have always hated mascara,

Speaker:

but I know,

Speaker:

and I will do those things because those things make me

Speaker:

feel good.

Speaker:

But I also know that that is not my value in

Speaker:

the world.

Speaker:

If I did none of those things,

Speaker:

I am still a valuable contributor,

Speaker:

regardless of my age.

Speaker:

I have,

Speaker:

again, like all of this knowledge and wisdom and life experience

Speaker:

to share,

Speaker:

like with my family,

Speaker:

with the world,

Speaker:

with my community,

Speaker:

like whatever it is.

Speaker:

So being able to see that part of yourself,

Speaker:

as opposed to just looking at the physical aspects of who

Speaker:

you are.

Speaker:

I would agree with that because when you look in the

Speaker:

mirror, if you are not happy with or accepting what you

Speaker:

see that does something to you internally.

Speaker:

So whether it's Botox or lash extensions,

Speaker:

or the way you're wearing your hair or the color of

Speaker:

your hair,

Speaker:

I think that looking in the mirror,

Speaker:

it should be a reinforcement of you and your values and

Speaker:

make you feel good so that you can go out and

Speaker:

do the other things that you talk about Jennifer,

Speaker:

in terms of providing so much good and wisdom into the

Speaker:

world. It's not for everybody else to say,

Speaker:

oh, look at how good she looks or not know your

Speaker:

age or something.

Speaker:

It's for you.

Speaker:

Exactly. Justine Bateman.

Speaker:

Do you want me,

Speaker:

if you remember her from what show was it?

Speaker:

Yeah, she wrote that book called face 14 square inches of

Speaker:

skin. And it basically is talking about how the world judges

Speaker:

us based on our faces,

Speaker:

which is 14 square inches of skin and the hyper obsession

Speaker:

that we have with the wrinkles and why we spend as

Speaker:

a collective upwards of $25 billion a year on anti-aging cream

Speaker:

serums, this,

Speaker:

that, and the other thing.

Speaker:

And again,

Speaker:

like I'm a hundred percent,

Speaker:

like if you have something that works for you a hundred

Speaker:

percent, you should do it.

Speaker:

But again,

Speaker:

let's not let that be the sole judgment of who we

Speaker:

are as people and our value in our society.

Speaker:

Right? Because we've all heard about or seen people who take

Speaker:

it too far.

Speaker:

And the question goes back to who are you doing it

Speaker:

for? Exactly.

Speaker:

And then I think is sad because for me,

Speaker:

you know,

Speaker:

it's somebody who maybe doesn't see how valuable they are in

Speaker:

the inside.

Speaker:

Yeah. They're doing it for other's approval,

Speaker:

not their own in some cases.

Speaker:

So the first thing that you do,

Speaker:

if you're feeling that you're getting reactions,

Speaker:

whatever it is with regard to the stage you are in

Speaker:

your life,

Speaker:

the first thing to do is for yourself,

Speaker:

do whatever it is that makes you your best self,

Speaker:

that makes you feel good about yourself.

Speaker:

And clearly that's the energy that you are going to exert

Speaker:

out into the world is the energy that you already feel

Speaker:

inside. Exactly.

Speaker:

So what else then do you do?

Speaker:

Okay. So we've got that done.

Speaker:

We've been to the salon,

Speaker:

we've done our nails.

Speaker:

We are working out because you know,

Speaker:

you also want to do things that make you the healthiest,

Speaker:

you too,

Speaker:

which inevitably comes back to your mental state too.

Speaker:

If you can move without hurting and pain,

Speaker:

you're just going to feel overall better also.

Speaker:

So we're all put together in that way then what happens.

Speaker:

So I think one of the very important things that I

Speaker:

always encourage women to do is to carve time out for

Speaker:

themselves. So whether that be,

Speaker:

to spend time with a journal or meditation,

Speaker:

or simply doing something that you love,

Speaker:

like something that fills you up,

Speaker:

because when you're in the plexus of joy or bliss,

Speaker:

or just feeling like fulfilled into yourself,

Speaker:

it's a whole lot easier to step away from the comparison

Speaker:

game about,

Speaker:

you know,

Speaker:

oh, I don't look like I used to,

Speaker:

or, you know,

Speaker:

this is the way that it used to be or whatever

Speaker:

it is like when you're in that state of joy and

Speaker:

bliss, you're filled up and you're less likely to see yourself

Speaker:

as having lost anything.

Speaker:

So again,

Speaker:

whether it's you love reading and you spend 20 minutes a

Speaker:

day reading a book,

Speaker:

like whatever it is you do like carve time out for

Speaker:

yourself to do that thing.

Speaker:

And it doesn't need to be anything that anybody agrees with

Speaker:

or allows you to do.

Speaker:

This is like personal time for yourself to do what you

Speaker:

want to do to do what makes you happy to bring

Speaker:

you joy and to really connect in with yourself.

Speaker:

Because when you get into that state of being in your

Speaker:

joint and your bliss,

Speaker:

it attracts more things to you.

Speaker:

Well, in this,

Speaker:

We're living the life for our own experience.

Speaker:

So you want to not always be working or always pleasing

Speaker:

others, which we spend so much time trying to do,

Speaker:

but you want to feel good about the life that you're

Speaker:

living for yourself.

Speaker:

Exactly. This time of our lives is all about,

Speaker:

like I said before,

Speaker:

making ourselves happy,

Speaker:

what feels authentic and joyful for me.

Speaker:

And like one of the things I realized in my own

Speaker:

journey, it wasn't,

Speaker:

you know,

Speaker:

like I got a lot of great things out of my

Speaker:

corporate career,

Speaker:

but it wasn't a hundred percent aligned with who I am

Speaker:

as a person,

Speaker:

right? Like I had kind of squeezed,

Speaker:

molded myself into fit into various different places of my career

Speaker:

that just didn't align with who I am on the inside.

Speaker:

Whereas what I do now is a hundred percent with aligned

Speaker:

with who I am as a person.

Speaker:

And sometimes we have to be able to carve out those

Speaker:

spots, that time for ourselves to connect in or to do

Speaker:

those things that we love in order to get on that

Speaker:

path. Yes.

Speaker:

And good point that you bring up too,

Speaker:

is that sometimes within corporate also,

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you're kind of bracketed because depending on your business,

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there's a way you're doing things.

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There was a way you're presenting.

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If it's a product or how you're supposed to market to

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kind of take it back to you,

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there's direction,

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not just you.

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So when you started your own business,

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you then are running the ship.

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And we talked a little bit in the pre-chat about this,

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but there are a lot of people who are listening,

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who are considering starting their own business probably for the first

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time in their own life to get a little bit of

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traction going.

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So it can bridge the retirement.

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It can become a second career for example.

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And what you've been just talking about now is bringing you

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fulfillment and you joy is what you're able to accomplish in

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your own business.

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Exactly. I mean,

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there's so much talk about finding your purpose in midlife.

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And honestly,

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I believe that your purpose is what brings you joy.

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Your purpose is what makes you excited to get out of

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bed in the morning.

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So whether that is a business or whether it's just doing

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something as a hobby,

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because you love it,

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or maybe it's spending time with your kids,

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whatever that is,

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that is your purpose is to find your joy because that

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is the pathway to just about everything else.

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Yes. I agree with you.

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So I feel like to round out this conversation,

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it would be helpful also to talk about what you do

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when you encounter people who make snide remarks about your age

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on social or minimize you in a boardroom meeting,

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because you're either a woman or you're older.

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Do you have any suggestions or guidance when we're faced with

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those situations?

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Obviously we can't control the reactions or the comments of other

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people, but I think one of the most important things is

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to not take that on to not internalize that because it's

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so easy,

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especially waiting to be feeling a little bit uncomfortable with kind

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of what's happening to us mentally,

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physically, emotionally,

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we might be in that spot.

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And then somebody says something and it literally kind of drags

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us down.

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So I think the important thing is to just know that

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that person is reacting from like,

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whatever it is that they're reacting from,

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but it absolutely has nothing to do with you.

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So they're reacting to your age because they're afraid of getting

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old, that has nothing to do with you.

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And just being able to stand in the fact that you

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are a strong,

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vibrant Bard kick ass woman.

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Like that's where we kind of need to be,

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is to really ground ourselves in that as opposed to being

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taking on what's coming in from the outside world.

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Yeah. I agree and recognize that it's not just you personally,

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that people do this.

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What's the saying hurt people,

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hurt people,

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Both. Or what people think of me is actually none of

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my business.

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Yeah. Ah,

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there you go.

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Love that one too.

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And I think the another thing that I know is helpful

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is if you have a community of people who you've called

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on for support,

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I'm not talking about like a life coach or something,

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but even like a Facebook community who also makes candles are

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knitters or my community of makers anywhere where you have a

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group of people that you come together and inspire each other.

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This could be a place to go and just show your

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newest creations of what you're doing or something like that.

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To get affirmation about the value of the work that you

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do or to say,

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Hey, I'm really having a down day.

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Here's what happened and get everyone else to say their responses

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that are going to be uplifting and get you back to

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a good spot.

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Exactly. I am a such a huge believer in the power

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of community.

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I know that my own journey would not have been what

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it is without having the support of like-minded people.

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So whether that be like you said,

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a community related to what it is that you do or

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your age,

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or like whatever it is,

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but you need people,

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everybody, and we're human.

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We all need people who can see us for what we

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are, who can hold our beliefs when we're struggling,

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who can see our gifts when we're not seeing them.

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And to be able to reflect that back to us.

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And it's one of the reasons why I run the midlife

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Kickstarter mastermind,

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which is like an intimate group of women all coming together

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who are on a journey to create something for their next

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chapter. And like the support that I see from these women

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in that group,

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in that community,

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it brings me to tears half the time because it's just

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women supporting women.

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And I truly believe that we have the power to not

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only lift ourselves up,

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but to lift each other up.

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And when we do that as a collective,

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we're actually changing the paradigm of what it means to be

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a midlife women.

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So each of us stepping into our power and helping another

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woman step into her power,

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he's actually raising the tide for all of us and us

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stepping into our power and to show people what's possible in

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midlife is actually,

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what's going to change the paradigm about how we are seeing

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Absolutely. So who is the right fit for your masterminds?

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So Basically it's any midlife woman who is on a mission

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to create something new in her life,

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whether it's finding her purpose or starting a business training for

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a new career,

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whatever that looks like and wants the support and encouragement of

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like-minded women on the same journey.

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That is the community that I bring together.

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So I bring together eight women at a time and we

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spend four months together,

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basically helping support each other and raising each other up because

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the journey,

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especially if you're moving from corporate into self-employed or you might

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be leaving a relationship and relocating somewhere like that journey can

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be difficult,

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right? And it can feel very,

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very lonely.

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And having women who can help you in the two going

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gets tough.

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And when you're just not feeling it,

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when you just want to curl up in a ball and

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hide away from the world,

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like having that community who will hold you accountable,

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who will encourage and support you is gold,

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absolute gold.

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Like I belong to various different groups for probably more than

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five years and I will always do it because I see

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so much value in that.

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I, I love what you're doing with the masterminds.

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I love that it's a smaller group where women probably feel

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very safe in an environment of a fixed number of people.

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And I can only imagine the relationships that develop even after

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the masterminds are over just the solid connections that you're forming

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in that group.

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Like I said,

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it's the most beautiful thing to watch because I see women

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just giving their perspective on another woman and the way she

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sees that woman,

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that woman would never seen herself that way.

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And the more I hear that,

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and the more we see that,

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and the more we have that reflected back to us,

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it allows us to be able to believe it.

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Absolutely. And what about your podcast?

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Tell us about the content there.

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So the Ultrix podcast is all about sharing stories of real

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women who have reinvented their lives,

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who are tackling things.

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They never thought possible,

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whether they be physical,

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mental, or emotional challenges.

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And the whole reason I created this podcast is because when

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I was trying to figure out what was possible for my

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life, and I couldn't see it anywhere.

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And then I went searching for it and realized there are

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so many women who are doing so many amazing things in

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the world.

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And I wanted to make sure that I could share that

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with everybody so that other women could see themselves in those

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stories and feel empowered to be able to create the life

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that they wanted regardless of their age..

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Well, I know you're going to pick up some listeners from

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my community for sure.

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One final thing I want to ask about you brought it

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up real quickly and I made myself a note cause I

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wanted to come back to it.

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What's going on with the charity that you're creating.

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I haven't named this yet.

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It's very early in the stages.

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And honestly,

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I'm still figuring out how this whole thing works.

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But I read a research study that said that women are

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80% more likely to be impoverished in retirement than men.

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And when I started to dig into this study,

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it said,

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I mean,

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there's a number of reasons why that is,

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but some of the key reasons work,

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the fact that first of all,

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women earn less from the get-go and that on average women

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reached their peak earnings at age 44,

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and men reached their peak earnings at age 55.

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And their peak earnings are 40% higher than women's speaker innings

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the whole way Through the Whole way through.

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And so men having 10 more years to kind of get

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money under their belt,

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it leaves a lot of women kind of left behind.

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And then you consider illness,

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divorce, death,

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whatever that might be.

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So many women who are interested in creating this amazing next

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chapter might be struggling to put food on the table.

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So the charity is going to be all about scholarships to

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help women start businesses or to retrain for new careers on

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all kinds of different things like that,

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that will support the women.

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And I really want this to be a women supporting women

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charity so that the women who donate will be able to

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sit on a board,

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which will decide where the money goes and who the money

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goes to.

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So Dylan it's very,

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very early days,

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but when I realized,

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and the number of women over 50,

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who are living below the poverty line,

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another staggering number,

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I was like,

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wow, we again have to give back like all of us

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midlife women need to be like supporting each other to be

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able to do that because no woman should have to live

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below the poverty line over the age of 50.

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That just blows my mind.

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Absolutely. I agree.

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Well, two things here first off when the charity is established,

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I definitely want you to reconnect with me because I want

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to put the link in the show notes of this episode.

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And this may be an interesting topic for another podcast.

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You're actually establishing a charity,

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the steps that you went through,

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and then we can get eyes on the charity as well.

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So two things to think about in the future,

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Jennifer, For sure.

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This is definitely a passion project for me.

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And I'm still figuring it out one tiny step at a

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time. I mean,

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it might take awhile the tiny steps like you were just

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talking about before in the very beginning,

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that's how we get big things done is taking tiny steps

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forward. And it started with the research article you found that

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gave you the idea.

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So there you go.

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All right,

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where online could people go to find you?

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You can find me on Facebook on Instagram and my website,

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which are all of the same name,

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old chicks.

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No shit.

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And I also have a Facebook group as well,

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too. All of the same names.

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So you can find me there.

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Perfect. Well,

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Jennifer, this has been a really inspiring enlightening conversation.

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Thank you so much for coming on the show today.

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Thanks for having me.

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I really enjoyed our conversation.

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The more we do things that we love,

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the more we attract and discover similar activities that also fill

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us with joy,

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regardless of whether you've reached your Maven years yet or not.

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I think this is one of the most powerful episodes I've

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done to serve you.

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It can empower you if you're at this point or prepare

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you. If it's in your future as women,

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regardless of our life stage,

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we should stand tall and proud.

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Thank you,

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Jennifer, for focusing your work on this important topic,

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I'll be back next Saturday for a discussion about website set

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up where you'll learn the single biggest mistake people make when

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they create an e-commerce site.

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Meanwhile, you can also tune in on Wednesday morning for my

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special tips and talk show.

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Thank you so much for spending time with me today.

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If you'd like to show support for the podcast,

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let me know how it's helped you.

Speaker:

Something new you've learned or a topic you'd like to discuss

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more. Just add it as a review.

Speaker:

I read everyone personally and absolutely use your suggestions as guidance

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for new guests and topics.

Speaker:

There are other ways to show support for the podcast to

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visit our merch shop for a wide variety of gift biz

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paraphernalia off like mugs,

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t-shirts water bottles,

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and even more featuring logos and quotes to inspire you throughout

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your day.

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Take a look at all the options over at gift biz,

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unwrapped.com forward slash shop all proceeds from the purchasing of these

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products, help offset the costs of producing the podcast and now

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be safe and be well.

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And I'll see you again.

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Next time on the gift biz unwrapped podcast.

Speaker:

I want to make sure you're familiar with my free Facebook

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group called gift is free.

Speaker:

It's a place where we all gather and our community to

Speaker:

support each other.

Speaker:

Got a really fun post in there.

Speaker:

That's my favorite of the week.

Speaker:

I have to say where I invite all of you to

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share what you're doing to show pictures of your product,

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to show what you're working on for the week to get

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reaction from other people and just for fun,

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because we all get to see the wonderful products that everybody

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in the community is making my favorite posts every single week,

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without doubt.

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Wait, what aren't you part of the group already,

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if not make sure to jump over to Facebook and search

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for the group gift biz breeze don't delay.

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