084: The 3 Cs of Transformative Discipline // Part 2 with Katherine Reynolds Lewis
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Last week, Katherine Reynolds Lewis, the author of The Good News About Bad Behavior: Why Kids Are Less Disciplined Than Ever-- And What to Do About It, taught us that children today are fundamentally different than past generations. Not because they're born different, but because the world they are growing up in is so different. In previous generations, typical kids developed self-regulation skills through their day-to-day life of playing with friends, being outside, and working alongside their families. But modern cultural factors including less unstructured play and time outdoors, more exposure to media and technology, and more pressure from academic and extra curricular expectations are undermining the natural development of impulse control, self confidence and patience within our kids.
Katherine Reynolds Lewis spent over five years researching parenting and discipline techniques, and she found that there are many effective discipline methods in practice today that teach children how to take ownership of their choices and their emotions and gain the emotional skills they need to self regulate. These transformative discipline methods all share some common elements (that all happen to start with "C"):
Connection: Relationship is the foundation. If we try to discipline our kids before we have that connection, it’s not going to go well.
Communication: Asking questions, posing “what ifs” and getting more information helps children to process and build their problem-solving and critical-thinking skills
Capability-building: We must focus on helping children build both life skills around the house and social and emotional skills.
If you missed last week's episode, part one of this discussion, you are going to want to go back and listen to that!
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