167: Brandon Straza | Dump Your Limiting Beliefs

Artwork for podcast Purpose Through Pain

Episode 167 • 14th March 2023 • Purpose Through Pain • Joseph James

Joseph: Hey everyone, and welcome to another great episode of Purpose Through Pain Podcast. I have a really good friend that I met just a not too long ago, had a pretty cool experience meeting in Costa Rica and at a mastermind of a mutual friend of ours, but I wanted to bring him on today and let you guys just really hear, where he's gone at in his life. His name is Brandon Straza. He is the founder and president of the Success Finder, an app dedicated to supporting coach and member relationships through direct communication. Mastermind offerings, networking and support. He's an entrepreneur before it was ever trendy. Brandon has built a number of successful businesses, serves as the president and owner of American Option, insurance, and produces a weekly podcast. Brandon is married and has one child's son, named Liam, and they live and reside in Dallas, Texas. Brandon, welcome to the show and thank you so much for joining me, brother.

Brandon: Absolutely Joseph. And you know, the place we met just beautiful, gorgeous. We were fortunate, we invested in ourselves. We invested in Travis Chapel, and even if there's bumps along the road, you know, it gets figured out. And it was just an amazing time that we got to know more about each other on a personal level. And then a business, you know, business entrepreneurship in Costa Rica.

Joseph: Not a bad place to start, not a bad place at all. And of course we even got to have a little bit of fun playing some golf, which we really got to hang out and spend some time. And listen to some birds power us up.

Brandon: Yeah, man, yeah. And some random animals on the course and you know, who knows what the heck was going on. But that was pretty cool. That was my first time golfing in six years.

Joseph: Wow. I mean, we went through had a little rainstorm approaching, had a lightning storm going on, had iguanas, trying to keep, golf balls away from iguanas. And so that was just a really fun experience. The whole trip was just amazing, just to be able to connect and, you know, that's what it's about. And, you know, Brandon, that's ultimately what even this podcast is about, man, is people investing in themself and taking people like yourself and investing into other people. So I can't thank you enough for being on here and for all the listeners that are tuning in, you know, ultimately this is to help you guys to find and take the things that you've gone through in your life and find purpose through it, because we all experience pain in some sort of way, some sort of degree. Everybody may be different, but it's still painful. It can still be a really bad experience and I don't measure my pain versus somebody else's. It's not a comparison ‘cause we all go through it, you know?

Brandon: Yeah, absolutely. I think the interesting thing or the important thing here, one of them is while you're on your journey, sharing it, letting people know, from a respectful standpoint through social or whatever it. It's important because a lot of people just see the end product. They see like, you know, oh my gosh, well, they're already successful, I'm wearing a shirt that says success on it. But they've already hit their success. But do they get to actually hear the journey, the bumps, the bruises? You know, the road to success is paved in skeletons, I forget who the author is of that, but it's so true along the way, and whether you're on your way up or you're on the way down, or you're just coast, you're gonna have pot shots throwing at your man, you're gonna have people that just wanna be nasty, and you gotta learn how to drown out that noise, whether it's people, whether it's social media, whatever it is, surround yourself with the right people. Go to the right masterminds, connect with the right coaches, find the right cornermen, corner women, and implement them in your life. You know, as you're doing that, you're gonna be, you're gonna have to find out that your cup is full, your figurative cup is full, and when that cup's full, you're gonna have to take people out. Habits out, whatever that is. And the one thing that we gotta remember is when we start to refill that cup with the right people, you wanna make sure you refill it with the right people because you could refill it with something that is worse than what you just got rid of.

Joseph: You know, in talking about that, Brandon, it's interesting that you bring that up. We all go through seasons in life, right? And we meet people, like right now, the season in my life, you're a part of it, you know? And who's to say that six months from now, whether we'll be a part of each other's season, and there's nothing wrong with that. People think that because of somebody comes in and out of their life, of course if it's a negative impact, you definitely don't wanna keep them longer than they, than they need to be, right? But they think because, okay, we're friends. We hung out in Costa Rica, we're on each other's podcast. Now we're developing a relationship. There's no doubt that we're gonna do some stuff in the future. But that doesn't mean that we're gonna be a part of each other's life or season for forever, right, you know? And that's okay because when you grow, you're not gonna always have those same people in your life. And that's completely okay. I'm gonna g gain things from you and you're gonna gain things from me. And some point in time that will probably eventually dry up because we both are going different directions. We're still moving up in life, we're still growing in life. But your growth may look different than mine. It may be faster than mine, it may be slower or vice versa. I might get, you know, who knows. But it's recognizing that when people do come into your life, and that's the purpose that that's growth itself, is when you recognize that somebody can come into your life, whether it's for a small period of time, maybe it's just a minute, maybe it's a couple days, maybe it's a couple weeks, an hour, you know, whatever the case is, a couple years. Get what you can from those individuals and then no one recognize, okay. Now I need to make room for somebody else in my life now to be able to speak into my life, to be able to grow in my life. And it's just interesting that you were saying that, you were talking about that.

Brandon: Yeah. And seasons is a great way to look at it and it, and it is okay when people fall in and out, one of the things. As you start becoming better than the version you were the day before, you always wanna strive to be better than you were the day before. If you're the same person you are 30 days later, then what did you really do? What you're gonna hear? And we'll use nicknames that people call me, you know, ‘B’ is a nickname that people call me sometimes if they're close and in the family. Hey, B, you're not the same person. Hey, we don't have the same conversations we used to. I don't understand what you're doing. You're going to get that, and that doesn't make the person that is giving you that comment, anything different? It's okay. You know, it could be a family member and you typically you're not gonna try to get rid of family members in your life, but as you hear those bug me at first, it really did. And it wasn't until I got Dr. Jeff Spencer, an amazing human being, a gift in my life that I started learning as I continue, I was like, yeah, I've been hearing this for a few years now, he's like, yeah, he was able to see around corner. So having the right people in your corner, having the right people in your life, they will help navigate. As you start to make those changes, as you start to lead, whether it's a life of purpose or if you build a company that is for purpose, you will start hearing that as you have fewer conversations with those that really understand and want to be along with that journey, that's okay, they're gonna just say, Hey, we don't connect like we used to have the conversation with them and then move on.

Joseph: And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. And you have to be able to make room for growth, because eventually, regardless of what level we grow, everybody's doing it at a different pace, right? And we may be on the same exact path, but yours, I may be slower. Well, I don't wanna keep you held up and at the end of the day, you don't wanna be held up by me. And it's okay to say, Hey, look man, Joe, man, I'm here for you at any time, but it's okay to be like, Hey, I gotta do my thing.

Brandon: Yeah. I think one of the things is that I love and we're staying in the same realm as like a mastermind, you're gonna have people, different people of all different levels. Now, here's the thing. I don't want to be in like the top five smartest people in that room. I wanna be in like the lowest portion of the smartest people in that room. And that's where I find some of the most amazing growth. And here's why, the people that are ahead of me, when they see what I'm building and when they see what I'm doing, they're sitting there helping pull me up, it's like a ladder and they're helping pull you up, they're helping pull your, you know, our mentor and friend Travis Chapel says, who doesn't wanna go to the, who doesn't want the fast pass and go to the front of the line at Disney World? Like, why wouldn't you? And that's really what a mastermind, that's really what the right circles help do, is they help pull you up. They realize, Hey, you know what? This person needs this. I'm gonna be there for them, when they see your grit, your grind, your ingenuity, what you're wanting to build, those people ahead of you will pull you up.

Joseph: Absolutely. Brandon, now we had some, we had some similarities that I read about you about, you were back in grade school mixes, played and selling and becoming that early on entrepreneur, of course, I think I did mind the, the dishonest way of stealing candy and going back and selling it. I guess I could have been a politician, but that, that didn't happen.

Brandon: You still have hope, you still have a chance.

Joseph: I've changed my ways, brother, I've changed my ways. Take me back to that time where that entrepreneur, that entrepreneurial mindset started to develop in you, even as a young kid and how that's formulated to where you're at today.

Brandon: Yeah. I think a big part of this, and you know the word entrepreneur, why? I think in my bio it's like, before it was popular, trendier, whatever it is, I think it's utilized just like the word coach is overutilized too much, like I'm a coach of this, I'm a coach of that, you know, I'm an entrepreneur, there are times when the word entrepreneur is you just created a job because you can't handle authority. So I find that an interesting thing and I grew up in an entrepreneurial family. I didn't know the word entrepreneur, but I saw what my dad was doing. I saw how hard he was working and what he was building. And so it kind of just, you know, by listening to those conversations over dinner, ‘cause if we wanted to see my dad, we had to go to the business, that was really the main place where we saw my father. And so I just saw how things were, and without even really knowing it, I'm like, gosh, this seems fun, like at some point, like, I wanna do this, this is the world I wanna live into. So I was like, Hey, I like Kool-Aid packets, I like sugar. Why not take sugar and mix it with sugar? In essence, put it together and let's make a few bucks now. I didn't have much of a business plan, I'll be honest with you, I was just thinking, I'll take two products that are in the cupboard, mix them together, and I don't know if I was selling them for a nickel or for 25 cents. I can't remember what it was a little baggy and the kids loved it. They ate it up, it was the problem. I didn't recognize that the market I was going after had people that oversaw them, parents, adults. So this business, this entrepreneurial journey lasted maybe two summers ‘cause it was a summer thing that I was doing, you know, it was a lot easier, you bring that to school and I knew I was getting kicked out pretty quick, right? And the kids ate it up, now parents started coming on, knocking on the door and been like, you can't do this. And that actually made the kids want it more because the parents were saying no. So about about after two summers of slinging this and not realizing, Hey, by the way, my plan had one more hole, every kid's house had sugar packets and Kool-Aid packets, so like all I was giving them was paying them for, you know, selling them something they already had once they realized that. But it was a really good first step into entrepreneurialship and realizing, Hey, my target market, they liked it, but the people that had the money didn't like it so much.

Joseph: Right, yeah. You know, it's funny how, you know when we look at that right there, and I got to think and I'm like, okay, they had the same thing at home, but how many times do we ha do we run across something that we already have, but yet we don't have, we have a limiting belief system of not being able to provide the same product.

Brandon: I think that happens a lot, our human DNA, is the voice that we hear saying, no. Our human DNA is the one that sits there and tricks us and makes think it's the champion's mindset. So my cornerman, Dr. Jeff Spencer talks about human d n a champions mindset, and we go through this on a weekly basis and, and really our limiting beliefs is that voice that we need to shut out. Now here's the thing, it's never gonna go away. So the sooner that we accept that, that human voice, that human DNA is always gonna be there, but we can recognize it, when it creeps up, when it gives us that self-doubt, and then the champion's mindset sits there and says, no, here's the course that we're gonna take, is the sooner that we can overcome that, we just have to realize that, gosh, even the best athletes in the world, Steph Curry, LeBron James, Tom Brady, Drew Brees, I figured I'd throw, your neck of the woods in there when we realize that, even the best of the best athletes have that human DNA voice just sitting there saying, you can't, you can't, you know, you're limited to what you can do is the sooner that we're able to overcome it, and again, I think it goes back to having the right coach, having the right mentor, having the right mastermind to help see that and guide you through that process.

Joseph: Absolutely, absolutely, and you alluded to this fact about earlier, and I call it this, I call it the hell in the hallway. And it's going through that journey of life before you get to where you are now, okay? Now, of course, it's a journey, so it's never gonna stop right until life ends, but you look at yourself now, a successful entrepreneur, multiple businesses, a husband, a father, you know that success in itself right there and everybody measures success differently. But what we don't get to hear, and like a lot of people, like you say, you look at somebody like Tony Robbins or even Grant Cardone or even look at presidents, look at people in government, and people think, oh, they must have been born with a silver spoon in their mouth. They have all this money and all they do is fly around on jets and things like that. And nothing wrong with any of that at all, you know, I'm training to be a pilot, so I'll have a jet one day. I'll just be fine at myself, you know? But a lot of people don't talk about their journey, they don't talk about how they got there, and that's a struggle for a lot of people because ultimately, regardless of how much people say they don't want something, it's really deep inside their screaming, man, I want it. I just have no idea how to get there, I just don't know that I can do it, and if they would really hear the stories of how people walk through their own journey, it would honestly be a lot more motivating and encouraging and inspiring to people because then they're like, man, you're just like, I am. Take me back to some of this stuff that as you've grown walking through your hell in the hallway and, and your journey of you mentioned bankruptcy to me and things like that. So talk to me about these struggles that you've faced in life.

Brandon: Yeah. And before we get into that, I want you to mention something, the word success, and one of the big things is defining success. Why so many people don't do it is because once we define it, we've also defined failure, so I want the people out there to actually define what success is. Now, I defined success at one point in my life and I was wrong, and that's okay. Realizing tying it to a number a specific metric doesn't always make it right. So you can change the definition of success, and that's a whole nother story maybe we'll get into, but let's, as you said, rewind it. And I think it's the bumps, the bruises, and the cuts that really change us and remind us of who we are, where we're going, and why we're doing what we're doing. And my first one that I truly remember was when my family went bankrupt, and I grew up biggest restaurant in the town, street named after us, you know, there were like five family names in the town, and those were the prominent families, however you wanna look at it. And when my family went bankrupt, I believe, I was in third grade, didn't know any different other than, Hey, you've got whatever you want, whenever you want it, and you don't even have to think about how you got it now. My parents were strict. They were loving, they made sure that we had chores, so I don't wanna just sit there and say, Hey, I had that silver spoon, but life was good. All of a sudden when that is yanked out from underneath you, you're living in not the best conditions. One of the places was called Olympic Village. There was nothing Olympic about it. It was not a quality place. And then all of a sudden you go to school and back then families actually used to eat breakfast together. I don't know if anyone remembers that, this is when meals were eaten together, breakfast and dinner were, synonymous with eating. And so the breakfast conversations that the children at that age would overhear, would be our family's name, was in the newspaper, the bankruptcy, the what, however you wanna look at it. And so they'd come to school and I'd start hearing things, and it really impacted me, really affected me because I didn't understand, like, I realized we were not living the way we were anymore. And I didn't question that, but when I heard my peers at the time, you know, other children making fun and laughing about what their parents were saying at the breakfast table. So that was my first know in life in realizing that, you know, people's words can impact you no matter what the age is. And this was the adults not acting like adults, talking in front of the children, and poking holes at my family. The next big significant no in my life that I can really remember, I was, 15 or 16 in high school and my math teacher at the time said I wasn't gonna mount to anything. School just wasn't for me, I had a brother who was salutatorian of his class, I had a sister that was a world-class athlete, number three in the world before she went off to college for. But I was told, listen, school's not for, you don't know what you're gonna become, not gonna make it. And that right there, I didn't go home and talk to my parents about it. I just kind of held onto it, and that right there was a, that was a huge stinger because that was, that was someone that was supposed to nurture work with me as an educator and just knocked me off at my feet, and that's a tough thing to hear right there. The next one, and I was still in corporate America at this point. I had realized at a young age that the more I would put into retirement, then I couldn't touch it because if I touched it, I would be taxed, and so it was almost like, you know, you've got a hot pan on the stove, and if it's hot, you can't touch it. So I'm like, all right, I'm gonna create my own hot pan, I'm gonna put as much as I can in retirement, because then it's always sitting there. It is a guiding light to when I need something. And so I had, at this point, I was probably 28, 29, somewhere around that. Now, you know what I take that I was like 30, 31 and I had given my retirement from the different companies I'd worked to. I combined it, moved it along and I had given it to a family friend. And it was, in the six figures. And I remember when Bernie Madoff, when the whole scandal and that came out. And so I'm like, gosh, unlikely return. So I say, Hey, I'm gonna get on the phone with, a family investor in our conversation, come to find out a few weeks later, yes, I was involved in a Ponzi scheme. All my investments were gone, it was everything that I had worked and put aside, the hot pan had just been taken away from, and at that point I had had it. I'm like, listen, I've put my faith, I've put my life in other people's hands and it just doesn't seem to work out. So what better to do than make sure that I'm the ruler of my own success failures? You know? And that's when I really, I sat there and I was like, I've talked about it. My wife, you know, sat there and said, listen, you've been talking about starting your own company, your own, it was shit, or get off the pot. Stop talking about what you can do, if you want to be, if you wanna be in charge of your own success, your own companies, your your own ideas, then you're gonna go out and you're gonna do it yourself. And so that last one where I had lost all my retirement was the last no. That I had had it, and those right there were really what allowed me to build my Rubik's cube, which made it hard and solid, and made me realize that if I'm in charge of my own success, I'm in charge of what the future can hold. All these other people that have said no to me, all these other instances that were the no in my life, can't hurt me anymore because now I'm in charge of it. So those items right there really were what led me to where you and I are sitting today, and I hold onto them. I don't forget them, I sit there and it's like fuel, it's a driving force, a no to me is just one more person that I don't need to call up and say, Hey, by the way, did you see I did it, did you see I made it? Yeah, it isn't, it's all those nos are why I do what I do today and I pass that along to our son. He was six now at a much younger age, so he understands. I'll sit there and say, solve. What is the byproduct of solving a problem? My son will say money, and I say, do you wanna be helpful or do you wanna be right? My son will say Helpful. So I pass these little nuggets along to him because I want, when he has that adversity, ‘cause he's gonna have it. I, you know, he has an unfair advantage, but he needs to understand what adversity is. I want to pass that on at such a young age and build that next entrepreneur and whatever the heck he wants to do.

access gym. This was back in: 2003

Brandon: Yeah. One of the things that I want to point out that'll still creep in that that human DNA is gonna still creep out, and this can be as short as a month ago, even for me, it's still gonna sit there other, you're gonna still allow those voices to kind of chirp along. And it doesn't mean that I'm a hundred percent all the time, like I have got this, you know, I'm throwing my hands up in the air. For anyone that can't see it right now, you gotta surround yourself with the right coach, mastermind, right friends, right people, because self-doubt will creep in there, you just have to recognize it. So I don't want you to think that by any means I have mastered it, whatsoever. I've just mastered the fact of making sure I'm surrounding myself with the people that can get me through that a lot quicker. So even today, man, it still creeps, and I went to my wife here three, four weeks ago and I said, man, something's just, it's just off, I'm just not. And she's like, come on, you know, you got this. So it can, I don't want you to think that, hey, once you got it, you got it licked. It's still gonna creep in there, because one of the big nos that happened for me that I just remembered was when I was gonna start my first, I was told no by family and friends. Do not do this, you're getting married. Do not start your own company, the fail rate, is astronomical, and they had given me the percentages of it. Now my oldest company's over 10 years old, over 8,000 clients. I mean, so like being told no was one more driving force for me to start still one of my companies and I've exited another company. So, where does the mindset go? You know, I think preparation, that's a big one right there. When my mindset is at the strongest, when my limiting beliefs are at the lowest, like, you know, I'm able, I can push through it. It's because I've prepare, I know what's coming, I can name it. So if I have an emotion, a feeling or fact that's happening around me, I can actually put a name to it, like, we've got an event coming up here in August. So if I'm worried about how many PE you know, are we gonna get the 40 people? Are we gonna get the FI? You know, however many people that need to be there. I've gotta put name that, because that emotion only has a certain period of time to run its course, meaning by the time the middle of August is there and gone, I don't have to put the energy, I don't have to put, you know, how much longer am I gonna have to be concerned? Was this an amazing event, even though I know it's going to be? So, naming that emotion, naming where you're at and what you've got in front of you is super important. And as it goes, as we continue, I know from a fact. I'm gonna, those thoughts, those rate limiting factors, they will creep in from time to time. I'm okay with that because now I've actually put pen to paper and said, okay, you're gonna feel this at, again, at some given point, you can tether it to what your, your team has taught you, what your cornerman, what your coach has taught you. That way you can name it and say, okay, this is gonna go away and here's what I do to get that go away, hopefully that makes sense. And what I'm, you know how I'm trying to explain, like it doesn't stop, the rate limiting beliefs are gonna creep in on something. It could be as mundane as we're having friends over, is this gonna be a fun night? I've got a new project that I'm starting in front of my company, is this going to be a success? All different things, you just have to realize that, like that emotion, the feeling, not so much factual, but the feeling is gonna pop into your head and that's okay, you just gotta know how to work through it. Navigate through that feeling, a lot quicker, and that's what, that's what having your, the right people in your corner can do.

Joseph: Yeah, yeah, yeah, when you said about suppress preparation, suppresses, those beliefs and those thoughts that they're gonna pop in, they're gonna pop in for different things in our life, whether it's people. So like for me, I didn't realize I dealt with so much rejection as a young kid from my dad that it stemmed over into me trying to pursue females when I was young, Marine Corps days and things like that, right. Well, of course eventually I got married. I'm married at the age of 27, and then when my wife passes away, down the road. I'm like, okay, well I want to continue on with my life, you know, and I mean, the very first thing that popped in my head when she passed away is I'm 40, almost 41 years old. And I'm like, man, I'm never gonna be able to start back all over. And I'm like, no, I want to start all over, I want to be able to. Now, of course that was soon. I wasn't looking to do it then, but I remember Brandon, you know, when I first reached out to, not just flirt with somebody, but like take them out and, you know, and then it got to the point where they said, don't ever message me again, and I'm telling you, or that every bit of rejection that I felt as a kid from my dad and the avoidance of being rejected by females rose up inside of me, and like, I'm like, I'm getting jittery, my hands are shaking my, like the pit of my stomach. And I remember that feeling and I didn't even realize I still had it because I had been married for almost 14 years, and then I had to start telling myself, I had to mentally start preparing myself of, okay, no, I am worthy of this, I am this, and it took me a while, it took me a while to kind of get through those things, but it's amazing that you talk about the preparation because, you know, how do we ultimately, and this is a question for you to, and especially to the listeners that I want to think about, when you're faced with a limiting belief, right? Okay, it's the first time you've been faced with it, never thought about somebody comes up to you and says, Hey, I want you to invest in this, or I want you to do this. How do you prepare for something that you don't have knowledge of? What the first thing that you need to do when that limiting belief comes in it? Because at the, that's gonna pop in first, that's gonna pop in first before anything else. How do you combat that to get to the place of preparation for it?

Brandon: So I'm gonna say how I've worked through it, and it doesn't mean it's the only answer, it doesn't mean it's the answer for you. But this is what I've done, I try to bring fewer charges, if any, to a conversation, I try to bring fewer memories of how I believe the outcome and the answer should be. So by doing that, not bringing the charge, not bringing a past conversation that has nothing to do with the present one, my emotions go from where I used to say I wear my emotions on my sleeve, to where I can see it with fresh eyes. Now I can tell you in the last six months, which is where, where I've really learned a lot of this, my personal life, my household life, my business life, my employees, the, my stock price has skyrocketed, has just gone up, I've seen different laughs, more intent driven conversations because I'm not going to a conversation with the charge and I'm not bringing another example into the conversation that's happening. I'm going in with a fresh set of eyes, those two things right there have changed everything personally and business wise for me. And when I go into that, where someone is bringing me something that makes, I say it starts in my stomach and it rises to my throat, and then, I just can't, it's like a ringing in my ear that I can't get rid of it. If it impacts me that way, I have to now tether that to something else, okay. Why am I feeling this way? Is this a fact or is this a feeling? Yeah, what's going on right here? Facts or feelings, and if I say it's feelings, then a lot of the time I'm like, wait a minute, I'm probably bringing in a previous conversation, a previous example that has nothing to do, Joseph, and I go into a conversation and you make me feel a certain way, or I allow myself to feel a certain way. I can sit there and tether that to, wait a minute, this happened before. It doesn't mean that that's what Joseph is trying to bring to this. Remember, fresh set of eyes. Don't bring that emotional charge. You can start actually realizing what that conversation is really valued at. And that's one of the things that I, like I said, I have that ability now. Now self-doubt still creeps in. Human mindset still creeps in, but I have that ability now and again, I bring that back to, because of the people that I surround myself with, that's the biggest thing I've gotten rid, of the wrong people in the right order and allowed the right people in the right order to come and film my Rubik's Cube, I always say my Rubik's cube because I take other companies, other right people's ideas, place them in there, how it pertains to me, move it around, and then, you know, I build such a strong barrier right there so I can go back and I'm like, Hey, you know what? I need help with this. Who do I go to in my Rubik's cube? Ah, Joseph James, perfect, Joseph. Hey, wanna go over this with you because you impacted me this way. I think you, you're the, you know, a product expert in this, let's hop on a call. Yeah, and so that right there was a game changer, feelings or facts, that's good. Don't bring a previous conversation in, you're in the da. So you got the dating world 14 years, man. If you had brought everything from your previous relationship and said this, these new relationships have to be like, this was for the last 14 years, you probably would've already set the future, Mrs. James up for failure.

Joseph: Absolutely, absolutely, you know, I don't know if you remember when Travis talked to us in Costa Rica, but he talked about, when it comes to rejection, this could be rejection of business, relationships, family, we all have dealt with the word no at some point in time in our life, you know, and he ultimately, he said, he said a couple things, he says, we are not the reason that they're rejecting us, but he says, if you are already living in the worst case scenario, you know, if you ask. The worst is no, right, if you ask the question, the worst people can say is no. But if you don't ask, they're already, they're not coming to you to ask you the question. If you don't ask whomever it be, the business partner, Hey, can I borrow this? Or, Hey, I want to do this, can you help me? They're not gonna come to you with the idea that you have because you had.

Brandon: Yeah, the worst someone is gonna say is no, like, that's okay now, hey, I'll be honest with you, like, if I had ever go in the dating pool again, I'd probably be fearful, like, I'd just be like, Hey, I'm out, man. So my hat's off to you ‘cause you know, it, I'd be scared, but the reality is everything in life is sales. Everything in life is full of rejection. When people say, I'm not a salesperson, I can't sell, I'm like, baloney, every morning you have sold yourself to get up, brush your teeth, make your coffee, use the restroom, change, and go to your job, you sold yourself on how to do that, it's just embedded in you. So everything from there else, once you actually can take that and you can put that in other parts of your life, like you could've said, you have to be okay with the decision not to get up, brush your teeth and get ready. But everything is sales. And so here no, we hear no all the time. It's just, if we don't ask the question, we'll never know, they might not even know that you do what you do for a living, ‘cause you never asked. It's okay to hear the word no, it sucks, I don't wanna hear the word no. And I don't wanna sit there and have someone say, well, you gotta get a thousand no's to get one, yes, that's a pretty big uphill battle. But you gotta hear the word no, it's just we hear it all the time.

Joseph: Right. And then it's ultimately, you know, I read a book not too long ago by Mel Robbins, you know, and it's her 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, you know, the five second rule. And that was a big game changer for me because ultimately the brain is there to protect us, but the way it protects us is through fear, the same fear that we would have jumping off of a bridge doing, bungee jumping is the same fear that we would experience, uh, from taking on, investing again, investing in a family friend or a family, you know, business partner and things like that, the brain doesn't know how to distinguish the two because it's ultimately there to protect us, but our own rational thoughts can. No, I know that I can do this, I know that I can do this jumping out, I'd rather jump out of a plane with a parachute than I would bungee jump. I look at it this way, brother, if the parachute doesn't pull, I've got time to pray. If the bungee court snaps, I don't know if I had time to even do anything.

Brandon: Yeah, asking is better than not asking because, if you don't ask them, you're gonna hold in the back of your mind. Well, they would've said no, and then you're gonna hold a charge, that has nothing to do with that, I had one, I needed a, I don't know how long ago this was, this is, you know, seven, eight years ago, I needed to raise $135,000 inside of like a week and a half for a project. And that was, I had my own investment in there, but I needed to raise an additional 135,000. I had already proven to family and friends and people around me like, Hey, I'm able to, and have been able to build a successful company, but as still at the end of the day, I had to go do it. And I remember I got a couple nos on there, and then the same people that told me no actually came back, you know, a few days later, because it was how I positioned it was how I explained it to them, you know, they weren't ready for what I was explaining, a few days later, they came back then a week and a half, two weeks, whatever it was, I'd raised 135,000. Not a lot of money, but you know, I needed it on a short term basis, investment paid out for everyone, as equally as it was, but they all, they said no, and I didn't have hurt feelings, they just came back later and said, Hey, it was how you positioned it, so sometimes when you ask someone, you have to realize are they in the frame of mind to accept what you're offering? And did you actually position it or did you explain it in the way that it, they understood it. So sometimes it's our delivery and why we get it a no.

Joseph: And then also I heard this, um, this came from, um, Steve Harvey, Steve Harvey and Bishop TD Jakes were kind of saying the same thing on a motivational video I was listening to. When you get a vision for something, okay, it's your vision, I'm not supposed to see it. That's the vision's not for me. Now, there are people that can capture your vision and get on board with your vision, but most of our nos are simply because that's not what other people see. And I wish I would've known that and recognized that as a young person, you know, and dealing with, and I remember when I was talking to a life coach, and I was dealing with so much rejection. They're like, Joseph, you have to understand that it's, you are not the reason they're rejecting you. There's things going on in their life that they're like, Hey, this guy isn't for me because I'm not where he's at.

Brandon: Yeah, absolutely.

Joseph: And when I started to realize that, I'm like, man, you're right, it's not about me, it's not about me itself, not saying there's nothing wrong with me, you know, but it's not about me. Why they're saying no, and I started to know and understand that, and it's like the more I find myself in the midst of needing an answer, the more I'm asking and the more I'm okay with the word no, ‘cause I'm like, oh, that's fine, you're just, you know what? Thank you Lord, thank you God for giving me that. No, because they're not supposed to be a part of this.

Brandon: Yeah. And you asked, that's the key thing, you asked the question. Again, we're so invested, we're putting together the project I was telling you about. We're so invested that we were reading it through our eyes. Well, of course the end user is going to know how awesome this is, of course, the end user is gonna read it the same way, no, when we explain something to someone else, we're already five steps ahead in that conversation. We're already invested emotionally. And so when you're, when you're delivering something that you might get a know on, you have to realize they're not on the same playing field as you are. They haven't been there and invested as much time as they have in your business, in your dream, in your vision, in your mission, vision, and values, your MBV. So they just might not be there and that's not their fault.

Joseph: And you know, and going into, whether this be business or, you know, people having, the trauma that they've gone through in life when you, and this is just something that I've kind of learned and taken away from, and you can definitely add in on your end when you share something with somebody, okay, let's say it's getting outta something toxic, or it's not, I've made a bad decision about something, you know, and some people, and you share it with somebody and they're not on board, not saying that they don't give you good insight, but if they're saying, no, you know what, just stay in this bad thing, or just keep on pressing or keep on believing it's gonna get better. Find somebody else to talk to, find somebody else that can, that can align with your belief system, you know? And that's, I think that's really important, one thing that I wasn't doing as a young kid, I wasn't aligning myself with somebody that can speak into me. I didn't have that, you know, and I just kept on going down, I kept on going for the approval of the very first person that was rejecting me the most. Instead of saying, okay, I'm not getting approval from you, let me just go over here and get the approval, let me go over here and get what feeds me and what fuels me. So Brandon, you dealt with the rejection, you dealt with the words no, and you kept pressing forward, you kept pressing forward, you know, you lost, you had the bankruptcies that the family went through, you had the money taken from you, and where has that brought you to? How is the mindset that you're at now? And we know it's not perfect because it's still with developing, but how is that, tell me where you're at today, compared to where just a few years ago when your mindset wasn't there.

Brandon: Acceptance. I've accepted who I am, I've accepted that no is continues to be okay, I've accepted that not every day is going to just be a 10 star day, but I know how to get through it a lot quicker when I need to pick up that phone, send that message, surround myself, and have a quick conversation with the right people, which I get to on a daily basis. So that's super awesome, like all day long, I get to just have fun conversations with people like, and I can navigate the murky waters a lot easier. I can actually navigate to where I don't end up in those murky waters. So I have to have that human mindset pop in there more often, and it's just, I'm able to move through it so much quicker. And, it's like, I forget what the movie was, but where the bullet bends around the corner.

Joseph: Ah Wanted.

Brandon: Yes, Angelina Jolie, yep. And so that is when you surround yourself with Badass Ninjas, that is the moment when you can see around corners or they see around the corner for you before it's gonna happen, you recognize something before you step in the pothole, and I want the listeners to think of something we celebrate when someone gets out of that pothole, we celebrate when someone gets out of trouble, okay. So it's like when you had those rate limiting beliefs. . We celebrate when everyone gets out of that, and that's great, but think about this, why aren't we celebrating when someone doesn't get in there? So you should look to celebrate the people that also don't get in there. Let them know, man, this is awesome, what you've been doing is great. Giving them that pat on the back, that might be something that they just might need, so just because someone hasn't stepped in that pothole, celebrate them as well. Just don't celebrate because you were able to step out of that shadow.

Joseph: ou know, it's funny that you say that because I thought you were gonna actually go a different direction with that. And so, you know, when you celebrate victories, it's completely okay to celebrate defeats. And what I'm mean by that is if you look at defeat as a bad thing, like I don't look at failures as a bad or horrible thing. I look at failures as life lessons, and if I look at them as life lessons and I celebrate, you know, man, it just didn't work out this way, like I had a firearms business, I used to teach firearms and combatives, and I used to travel around teaching it, I was extremely knowledgeable, I was very good at teaching because I had so much experience doing it. When I was in the Marine Corps, I didn't know how to run a business, I didn't know how to market myself, I didn't know how to use social media to my advantage, I am glad that that failed because what that did is that taught me. The next business I have, because I was at that point, I had that entrepreneurial mindset that I have to change something. Now, I went from training, you know, and firearms and self-defense to training dogs, okay? to two total different worlds, however, the business was still the same, and I had to learn very quickly that if I was going to be successful with dogs, you had the aspect of training the dogs. That was great, I learned how to do that, but now I had to become successful in growing the business, but I celebrated the fact that, you know what, instead of beating myself down, that I'll never be able to have a successful business because this thing was unsuccessful. I had to take that and be like, you know what? I'm glad I learned the things that I did. I celebrate for what I did, for what I didn't do, I celebrate for the failures that I had, the life lessons, because now I can take all that and put it towards this new business. And then now the celebration is different, is I learned this new thing versus repeating what I did in the old. Now have I had failures in the dog training business? Of course I have, you know, but I'm like, I still celebrate that I didn't make X amount of money this month, because now that pushes me to make it even more, I gotta cover it next month, you know, continues to push me and push me and push me, it's fuel for me.

Brandon: If you don't learn from your past mistakes, past failures, past things, that you were outta your control, literally just outta your control, the pandemic was out of people's, you know, and I'm not gonna go down that rabbit hole there, there's all different sides on that one, but there are things that are outta your control. As long as you learn, you don't, if, if you have the opportunity to not make the same mistake, but yet you still make the same mistake again and again, by, by design, by intention, then shame on you. But as long as you learn from it and you don't make that mistake again, in what is in your control and what you have, then learn from it, take it. Use, like you said, fuel to the fire and move forward for when that that doesn't happen, and be like, I got this, man, I got this.

Joseph: Love it, love it. Brandon, you've recently, or it wasn't too recent, but you started a podcast, you really wanted to get into helping people's mindset, helping people develop who they are, get past their limiting beliefs, get past where they're at in life and really, just, I mean, go after it, and you know, of course on your podcast, the mastermind effect and, you know, having that gateway to lead and give mentality, to lead with the give mentality, yeah, talk to me about that, talk to me about what the mastermind effect is.

Brandon: Yeah, the idea behind it really came from the company that we launched this year, the Success Finder, and I realized that man, there was just so much noise out there, whether it was social media noise, whether it was coaches noise, mastermind noise that a lot of people didn't know who to invest in. Now, first thing you should look at, who you should invest in is yourself because than the stock market, housing market bigger than crypto. First and foremost, invest in yourself because you can control the ROI on that, but people didn't know like who is the coach or the mentor or the mastermind that I should invest in. So I'm like, listen man. Selfishly, I get to learn for free myself by finding some of the most amazing talent around the world, and then I get to share that message. I get to lead with the give mentality, interview these people, then the listeners on the podcast are able to sit there and like cipher through and say, Hey, you know, is this person for me? Is Joseph's James for me? Is Steve Sims for me? Is Travis Chapel for me? And by doing that, it helps kind of cut through some of their steps, and so the mastermind effect was really an easy gateway in building the SuccessFinder because we were able to find the coaches and the masterminds and the mentors that really were the result leaders, not the thought. I love thought leaders, that's great, but my six-year-old has a thought when he gets up in the morning. Like, I want someone that's gonna get me the results, my, you know, I want the activators, not the motivators, I love when Tony gets on stage, Dean gets on stage, you know, other people get on stage and I want to be motivated, but I want them to activate me, like, Hey, here's where you're at, here's where you want to go, here are some steps that you need to do, they're gonna activate to actually get results out of that, and I think it was so important for us to have the podcast, so listeners out there can go and find out more about these coaches, then previously. Then from there, that springboards into the success finder to where they're able to connect with them, get into their mastermind, get into their, into their coaching program, whatever that is, because those are the coaches that have been vetted. So when you sit there and you see an ad come across and someone's just, you know, what we found is the marketers were better at marketing than the coaches. And like, how do we cut that out? You know, I'm tired of seeing all these dang advertisements out there. Okay, now I'm not talking about ad agencies, there's some brilliant ad agencies that are out there, but people that are actually gonna get you the results. And that was the idea behind the mastermind effect, we're able to interview some of the most unbelievable result leaders in the world. And in turn, we're able to create a platform to help coaches cut out the noise, all the social media stuff that's going on out there, because let's be honest, Facebook's not there for you, Instagram's not there for you, they wanna show, you know, the people, not what's most relevant, not what they need, but what's gonna keep them on their platform longer, and so that was really the idea behind how can we help cut out the noise and curate a safe place to give the coaches, what they want, when they want it, when it matters most to them, to help them build their community.

Joseph: That’s amazing, brother, that really is because it’s a tool for people, not only just my myself, but also the listeners can go on and it, that coaching reach out to those people all in the same, ‘cause there's so much fluff out there, and there's so much and you just being able to weed through it and, I was going through, I was on your page and, just some of your podcast episodes, learning through the concept of unschooling, why everybody, why every coach needs a coach, you know how to solve your problems, investing in you achieving a life beyond limits, fight or flight. I mean, those right there, those are key elements to living, those are key elements for everyday growth, and like you said, I don't care how much money you have, how much money you don't have, where you come from, no matter where we're at demographically in the world, no matter what atmosphere we were raised in, whether we're white, back, black, yellow, purple, pink, you know, whatever the case is, no matter race or gender, what you claim to be, what you identify to be, we all have one thing that no matter any of those things that are different, we all have one thing that's the same and that's, we all have 24 hours in a day, so we all have the ability to be able to invest in ourself, and honestly, even though I know you and I spend money, you know, a lot of money investing in ourself investing is really free, investing in yourself is really free meditating, exercise, you know, breathing, I mean, yoga, all this different stuff is free, but yet, now, of course, with the ability of, of the internet and things like that, you have podcasting, it's free, you know? The ability to be able to grow, and so I just wanna encourage the listeners out there that are listening today, or even at later on times, is, take the opportunity that no matter what you're going through in life, take it as a lesson that you're going through, it's a season that you're going through and find a way to get out of it, okay? And a one way, a great way of getting out of anything is investing in yourself. Because when you do that, then you start getting equipped with the tools on and the preparation to be able to get past those limiting beliefs, you can dig a hole all day long, you can either dig it deeper, you can get yourself out, the shovel can be used for different things, you know? So, Brandon, what is the best way, I've got, your email, but you know, what's the best way for people to be able to connect with you and really, if they wanna reach out or get involved in what you're doing, listening to your podcast, share a little bit about that.

Brandon: Yeah, absolutely. Easiest way you can email me, brandon@thesuccessfinder.com, it's below now. I love to work with people and deal with people that have intent. That's what our platform does. So I'm gonna give one out there, okay. And then if anyone takes action on it, I will have something return that I will give back to them, you know, we're all looking, how do we invest in ourselves? I got a free mastermind, it's not mine, but because of the platform we've built, I can invite you over to a free mastermind. No, there's not an upsell. No, there's not some Funnel down Funnel Up funnel or anything. So if you have intent, I'm gonna give you one right here. Go and download the Success Finder on whatever app store you're on, okay? If you have a problem with it's in beta, email me, you got that below, download it, go to the chat feature in there, super easy, it says chat bottom right hand side, message me, I heard you on Joseph James podcast, all right. I'm looking for the next level. I will take that and that lets me know where you came, and I'll get you into a free mastermind, it's amazing, it's been around for over 10 years, you've got seven, eight, and nine figure entrepreneurs that come and go outta this one on a monthly basis. So download the app, message me, I heard John Joseph James Mastermind, I'll move to the next level. Here's the other thing on the podcast, I'm not a coach, I don't have a mastermind, but I'm taking more than six figures of what my coaches and the masterminds that I've been involved with, and that is where the solo shows or that's where the episodes come from. So what I'm learning, I'm passing along and how it's important to me at that moment, so take a listen to the podcast if you want, message me there as well.

Joseph: That's amazing, brother. I need to jump in on that. I'm all about stuff like that, you know? And Brandon, you've also got a workshop or a seminar coming up in August? Is it too early to talk about that? Can you talk about that?

Brandon: Yeah, we're gonna announce it this week. So we've, you know, just kind of been, putting it out there a little bit. It's in August in Dallas, the 13th and 14th. The educators that are coming in for this, the educators that are speaking at this, they're gonna be there for the entire event. So you're gonna get to workshop, it's not like, Hey, they speak, you talk to them for a hot minute, and then they're gone. They're gonna be there for all the meals, it's in Dallas, Texas, the investment, your investment in yourself, which is, it's worth it. I mean, I just know it is because of the people that are coming and then also the people that are going to be involved in it. There's limited capacity, we're only allowing 40 people to come into this, it's $2,000 for the investment, you can message me, but it'll be out there on the social media, you know, networks later on this week, but it is the people that are wanting to come in for this man. I have to say, you have got Emmy Award winners. You've got people that have sold eight and nine figures worth of sales, they're going to, they are your board of advisors and they're gonna make sure, whatever, problem you're facing, okay. As a coach, this is coach centric, okay? That by the time you leave, they're gonna close that loop. We're gonna fire hose you, we're gonna give you so much information and we're gonna open up all these loops, but before it's over, we're gonna workshop with you and we're gonna close that so you get what you need from it when you go home.

Joseph: Wow, that's awesome. And this isn't just somebody speaking, this is somebody that's going to not only speak, but also have some one-on-one time with you and, you know, you'd be able to ask questions and get feedback on the whole entire three days, correct?

Hey, you know, I wanna invest: 2000

Joseph: Yeah. That's amazing, man. I mean, you know, to the listeners out there, you have to, I'll just tell you, I'll vouch for Brandon. I mean, I've spent some time, what, four or five days together in Costa Rica, you know?

Brandon: That was like a week. I don't know. I was, you know, it was just amazing, I don't know how long we were there. I was there for a few weeks, I know that it was before you got there.

Joseph: And this is the real deal. This is where, you know, whether you're a coach, whether you're looking to just get more information about life itself and just really kind of getting through your own struggles and things like that. Go to the success finder, connect with people, listen to Brandon's podcast, but definitely knowing that this seminar is coming up or this workshop's coming up and it's coach, this is a great opportunity to learn from some of the best people out there and go seek out people that can help you, people that are if you listen, if you wanna get through trauma, find people that have gotten through trauma and are successful at it, okay? And have created something from it. If you want to be a seven figure business owner, find somebody that's making seven figures or even higher, okay. Don't look for somebody that can create the idea, but doesn't show the proof in the pudding, and that's the type of people that Brandon is bringing into this workshop that not only just get up there on stage and speak, but is going to invest in you as an individual and help coach you to be able to coach other people because aren't we all coaches? We're all helping people, we're all giving people advice to some sort of level of degree in life, you know? So, Brandon, I can't thank you enough brother for coming on the show. I'm really honored, man. I love the relationship that we're building, I'm glad we're not that far away, you're just in Dallas, couple hours, you know, and of course I'm gonna be able to be on your show in the near future, which, yeah, excited about that. And I love what you're doing, man. Keep it up, man, I love your attitude behind things, just, I love the things that you said about being in charge, taking charge of who you are, and you know, the preparation is what is what? Just squashes all those, all those, all that fear, all that limiting belief, you know, and I wish I would've heard this when I was six years old because it would've been a different story. So I can't wait till Liam grows up, man, and what he's gonna be like, and when he's 15 and, you know.

Brandon: He'll have his first company, we've already talked about it. He's like, when he starts first company, by the time he is 15, 16 years old. And I said, but it's gotta solve a problem, whatever it is. You gotta solve a problem, man. Money will be a byproduct by you solving a problem and helping people.

Joseph: Yeah, just, one piece of advice, don't give them sugar and Kool-Aid to mix together.

Brandon: No, I'm over those sales days.

Joseph: Brother, thanks so much man. And guys, for those that are listening, please reach out to Brandon. His email is on the bottom of the screen, it's Brandon@successfinder.com, reach out, you know, to him and anything that he can help you with, I know he will. Go to his podcast, listen to it, the Mastermind effect. And guys, stay tuned for a new episode.

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