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189: How A Shift In Your Frame Of Mind Plus A Unique Form Of Journalling Can Heal Your Life with Kim Ades
Episode 18910th March 2022 • The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller • Dr Brad Miller
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Kim Ades is Dr. Brad Miller's guest on Episode 189 of "The Beyond Adversity Podcast."

Kim Ades is an Author, speaker, entrepreneur, and coach.

Kim Ades founded Mind CoachingTM and The Journal That Talks BackTM. Kim uses her unique philosophy and quirky coaching style to assist leaders in recognizing their blind spots and adjusting their thinking to get excellent results. She is a pioneer in the field of leadership coaching and thought mastery.

Kim has been published in Forbes and Inc., among other online media, and has spoken for various organizations, including Microsoft, HRPA, and SHRM.

She organizes a leadership training workshop every year to assist leaders in becoming better coaches. Kim has also taught HR and Training as an adjunct professor at Ryerson University and Centennial College.

Kim used to own a company called upward motion, which built simulations based on assessments to help people and businesses make better-recruiting decisions. Her ex-husband used to be her business partner, and despite their differing leadership styles, they got along pretty smoothly.

Things started to collide when she worked with her ex-husband. While everything else in their relationship was breaking apart, Kim found it difficult to work with her ex-husband. She then decided to buy him out of the company with a shotgun clause.

Kim's ex-husband bought her out of the firm after refusing to accept the offer. She found herself without direction all of a sudden. She was a single parent with dependent children who had lost her business to her ex-husband, who had assisted her in growing it. Because some people associate their identity with the nature of their profession, she lost her sense of self.

Kim found solace in journaling, dealing with raging emotions, including divorce, the loss of her business, and the loss of her identity. After all, she saw the process as healing and recovering direction and concentration on what she wanted to achieve with her life. She was finally employed as a VP of Marketing for a company whose fundamental ideals include assisting people in living their best lives.

Kim was encouraged to pursue landmark education while working for a coaching firm. She found it fascinating because there were things she couldn't express verbally or academically, but Kim understood from her soul, from her core, because it resonated with her since that's how she functions and views the world in general. As a result, she founded her organization, where she focuses on assisting folks in living remarkable lives.

Kim Ades discusses the value of having a coach guiding and assisting you in moving from a dark period in your life to better days in this episode. She emphasizes the necessity of having a positive mindset and attitude to navigate life's challenges successfully.

The Beyond Adversity Podcast Episode 189 is a must-listen for everyone struggling with life's adversities, who feels lost, purposeless, and is slowly drifting away, losing themselves in the process. It tells you to have a positive conversation with yourself, always seek the bright side of life, and remember that these difficulties are just temporary.

"The Beyond Adversity Podcast with Dr. Brad Miller is published weekly with the mission of helping people "Grow Through What They Go Through" as they navigate adversity and discover their promised life of peace, prosperity, and purpose. 

Websites: https://www.frameofmindcoaching.com/ 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/FOMInc/videos?app=desktop&view=0&sort=dd&shelf_id=0 

LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/kimades 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachkimades/ 

Twitter: https://twitter.com/kimades 

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kim.ades

Transcripts

Dr. Brad Miller:

Our guest today, Kim at us, it comes to us from a background where she's had some

Dr. Brad Miller:

success in life and some challenges in life. And she's found that such processes as a

Dr. Brad Miller:

change of your frame of mind. And some of the tools she uses a journal are helpful to

Dr. Brad Miller:

her. She's the founder of frame of mind coaching. And the journal that talks back at a

Dr. Brad Miller:

supermom of five Kim at us, we welcome you to be on diversity.

Kim Ades:

Thank you so much. I'm super happy to be here and happy to be talking to you and

Kim Ades:

excited to have this conversation.

Dr. Brad Miller:

It certainly is a pleasure for me as well. And the topic we're going to talk about here

Dr. Brad Miller:

today really is in complete alignment with our audience, which is folks who have chosen

Dr. Brad Miller:

in one form or another, to not stay stuck in their situation. And to get through it and to

Dr. Brad Miller:

move on find some way or another. And you have frame of mind coaching and you talk

Dr. Brad Miller:

about several things that you've done. But I have to know from your story that you have

Dr. Brad Miller:

had some challenges of your own, to navigate into overcome. Tell us a little bit about

Dr. Brad Miller:

some challenges you may have had in your life, some adversity that you've had to

Dr. Brad Miller:

speak to and your story a little bit, and we'll talk a little bit how you got out of that.

Kim Ades:

Yeah. I mean, so let's start with this. I'm a serial entrepreneur. So, this is not the first

Kim Ades:

business I've run, I ran another business in the past called upward motion. Cool name,

Kim Ades:

right. But that we used to build simulation-based assessments. And the purpose of those

Kim Ades:

assessments were to help people make better hiring decisions; companies make better

Kim Ades:

hiring decisions. But essentially, I had two business partners, one of them is now my ex

Kim Ades:

husband. And so, we work together, we're great business partners, we did a lot of great

Kim Ades:

things together, we grew the business. You know, we had very different styles of, of

Kim Ades:

leadership. But we were very complementary to one another. But when our marriage fell

Kim Ades:

apart, we thought for a brief period of time that perhaps we could continue working

Kim Ades:

together. Well, it just didn't work out like it was very hard to be in the same space when

Kim Ades:

everything else around us was falling apart. And so, one thing led to another and we

Kim Ades:

decided, the company that we started, I started it was kind of my baby, I was the face

Kim Ades:

of the company. Everybody knew me. I was the marketing engine, and he was more

Kim Ades:

behind the scenes. So, the idea was that I would keep the business. And so, he asked me

Kim Ades:

to buy him out. And I offered him a deal. That deal wasn't something that he could

Kim Ades:

accept. And so, he said, Give me a shotgun clause. I don't know if you know how a

Kim Ades:

shotgun works.

Dr. Brad Miller:

I'm not familiar with it, if you could just.

Kim Ades:

Yeah, so I'll give you how it works is that if you have a partnership and shotgun works

Kim Ades:

like this, is if you and I are partners, I say Hey, Brad, all buy you out for let's say $100.

Kim Ades:

And if you don't like the price, if you think it's too low, you say you know what, I'll buy

Kim Ades:

you out at that price. So, I get to name the price, and you get to decide whether you're

Kim Ades:

buying or selling.

Dr. Brad Miller:

I assume that somehow worked out legally as well, right? It's a

Kim Ades:

it's totally legal, it's a common business way to dissolve partnerships. So, it's not unusual.

Kim Ades:

But he said, you know, give me a shotgun, I gave him a shotgun, the one that I thought

Kim Ades:

he would accept, and he chose not to accept it. And so, he ended up buying me out

Kim Ades:

instead of, instead of me buying him out, I have to tell you, suddenly, I'm a single

Kim Ades:

parent, suddenly, my business is gone. And suddenly, I have no idea where I am and

Kim Ades:

who I am.? And what I'm about, like everything I knew was just kind of pulled out from

Kim Ades:

under me,

Dr. Brad Miller:

let alone the little the loss of the marriage as well as all it's all. Exactly, exactly. So

Kim Ades:

yes, exactly. And so, for me, I guess you could say I went through an identity crisis

Kim Ades:

because I think for a lot of people, they connect their identity with what they do in life

Kim Ades:

with their work. Now, the first thing I learned was, my identity is not my work. It's not no

Kim Ades:

matter what I do, no matter how attached I am to it, no matter how committed I am,

Kim Ades:

and how it you know makes up so many hours of my life in my day, it is not who I am.

Kim Ades:

And so that was the first lesson and it was a very difficult lesson. And you know, one of

Kim Ades:

the most important things were just to let go of that business let go of all the attachment

Kim Ades:

I had to that business. The second part that was hard was when you're a mom, and you

Kim Ades:

raise your kids, they are your kids like almost you own them right and suddenly now you

Kim Ades:

have to share custody with someone that now you have contention with. Right Why is

Kim Ades:

that ever hard like you and when your kids call you from his house, and they're not

Kim Ades:

entirely thrilled or happy to be there. Now on the inside, you feel guilt, you feel worry,

Kim Ades:

you feel fear, you feel anger, you feel all these things. So, for me, the adversity was,

Kim Ades:

everything in my life just kind of turned upside down. And I had to figure out which way

Kim Ades:

was up and what I wanted to build from here. And so that is my story. I mean, that was

Kim Ades:

quite a while ago, but you know,

Dr. Brad Miller:

but still, it's not, it's not an uncommon story. I mean, so, you know, I've gone through

Dr. Brad Miller:

that myself, my, you know, I came, I had a child who went, when I went through a

Dr. Brad Miller:

divorce, pretty ugly, divorce, you know, and all kinds of things with it, let alone all the

Dr. Brad Miller:

logistical stuff and multiple households and financial pressures. And, you know, if you

Dr. Brad Miller:

lost your business, I meant you got to find something else to do, you know, whether it

Dr. Brad Miller:

build a new business or you be employed, you got all the dynamics and all the moving

Dr. Brad Miller:

parts that happen in some people camp, as you know, and perhaps has happened to

Dr. Brad Miller:

you. To some degree, you said, you felt a little lost, some people stay lost, you know,

Dr. Brad Miller:

they stay in that, that void or whatever. And some people then choose to take the

Dr. Brad Miller:

action to navigate out of that. And I know from getting to know you just a little bit,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you're a person who chose to take some pretty profound action. So, tell us a little bit

Dr. Brad Miller:

about some of the actions that you took to break out of that circumstance that you

Dr. Brad Miller:

found yourself in, and to begin to move towards a point where you towards were

Dr. Brad Miller:

you're at, right now, these days, I

Kim Ades:

did a lot of things. I mean, one of the things I did was I journaled every single day, and I

Kim Ades:

and I started to realize that my journal was a vehicle to help me manage my emotions

Kim Ades:

to help me get from like a really bad place to what do I want instead place and that

Kim Ades:

was extremely powerful. The second thing that happened was, shortly after I ended up

Kim Ades:

selling my business, I got recruited by a local company, because I was very well known

Kim Ades:

in my industry, but I got recruited by coaching company here in Toronto. And they hired

Kim Ades:

me to be their VP of marketing. And I was very, very, very excited about that

Kim Ades:

opportunity, because their mission in life was to help people live extraordinary lives. And

Kim Ades:

I thought, Man, that is for me. That's me. So that's the second thing that happened. But

Kim Ades:

I'll come back to that in a minute. And the third thing that I did was I attended this

Kim Ades:

conference on book marketing or something like that, and I met this, this man, who I

Kim Ades:

ended up hiring to be my coach. And he introduced me to all kinds of literature, all

Kim Ades:

kinds of reading on subjects that I knew intuitively, but I didn't know intellectually. And

Kim Ades:

so, all of a sudden, I really started to study what helps people get out of the funk, what

Kim Ades:

helps people truly live extraordinary lives, what differentiates top performers from

Kim Ades:

others? What, how come some people seem to flow through life seem to have ease and

Kim Ades:

other people really suffer and struggle? Why do some people have amazing marriages?

Kim Ades:

and other people get divorced? And I just started to study, like, what makes life work for

Kim Ades:

some people, and for others, not at all. But I started working for this coaching company,

Kim Ades:

and I really didn't fit, I can't work for people, I'm unemployable. And a couple of things

Kim Ades:

happen. One was that I realized, like, I just I have my own ideas about how life works.

Kim Ades:

But the other thing that happened was I got to observe how they coach. And I thought

Kim Ades:

to myself, I think that there's a better way, I think that they're missing the point. And,

Kim Ades:

and the primary thing that I thought that they were missing was that in their coaching

Kim Ades:

style or methodology, what they were doing was helping business owners create

Kim Ades:

business plans. And with you know, here are the 10 things you need to do to achieve

Kim Ades:

your goals. And they were helping these people by holding them accountable to all the

Kim Ades:

action steps. And I thought to myself, you know what, these people don't need

Kim Ades:

accountability. They know how to have a plan. But why are they executing on the plan?

Kim Ades:

What's actually missing here? And it has to do with their thinking. It has to do with them

Kim Ades:

values, their beliefs, the way they look at life, their perspectives. And really that's the

Kim Ades:

differentiator. That's the difference between people who goes through life and people

Kim Ades:

who struggle through life? That's what

Dr. Brad Miller:

you start to pick up from, from your becoming a student of life change and some of the

Dr. Brad Miller:

coaching that you receive you became coach a ball.

Kim Ades:

Well, I started I started Yeah, I started to kind of observe and I thought, what if we could

Kim Ades:

really help people get out of their own way? What if we can help people look at how

Kim Ades:

they think and understand and more of their thinking so that their thinking works for

Kim Ades:

them? them instead of against them.

Dr. Brad Miller:

So, Kim, that's, obviously you have taken these significant steps to shift of your mind you

Dr. Brad Miller:

took coaching of your own, you also then applied your reading and things like that to

Dr. Brad Miller:

your life. I'm also interested in any connection; you had a sensitivity to connecting to

Dr. Brad Miller:

some greater goal or power higher than yourself, this might be a spiritual thing, it might

Dr. Brad Miller:

be a thing of sensitivity about having that what you're doing is bigger than just serving

Dr. Brad Miller:

your immediate needs some other bigger, greater good goal, skills. But any connection,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you might have heard anything along this line, perhaps, you know, meditation might

Dr. Brad Miller:

have been something like,

Kim Ades:

You know what happened, I'll tell you that while I was working for this coaching

Kim Ades:

company, they encouraged me to do something called landmark education. I don't

Kim Ades:

know if you've ever heard of it. But so, I went to landmark. And I found it very interesting,

Kim Ades:

because what happened to me was that I, for the first time, sat in a room and said to

Kim Ades:

myself, I didn't know this stuff, intellectually, I knew this stuff, at my soul, at my core, like

Kim Ades:

I understand this, this is the way I look at the world. This is the way I view the world is

Kim Ades:

were words to this. I didn't know there was language, I didn't know there was a

Kim Ades:

the way I feel. This is the way I think this is the way I operate. But I didn't know there

Kim Ades:

framework, I just thought it was a way of being. And that was kind of, I think, the trigger

Kim Ades:

for me to say, what would it be like if I started my own coaching business, to really help

Kim Ades:

people at a much deeper level, not just, you know, help them make more sales, phone

Kim Ades:

calls, or help them reach their business goals, but help them truly deeply live a life

Kim Ades:

where they are much more at peace, experiencing more ease. That, to me was the

Kim Ades:

moment where something kicked in. That said to me, I'm supposed to do this other stuff

Kim Ades:

here in the world.

Dr. Brad Miller:

That's where a lot of the satisfaction and the true sense of wellbeing comes from on a

Dr. Brad Miller:

kind of a gut level, a soul level, spiritual level, many different terminologies to work, but

Dr. Brad Miller:

it's when you have a sensitivity that goes beyond the tactical, you know, they get a

Dr. Brad Miller:

point the formula, you know, or here's our 10 points wide kind of thing. It what's in

Dr. Brad Miller:

your gut. And that's awesome. And you have done this went through something that I

Dr. Brad Miller:

love to do myself. And that is journaling is one of the things that you have done. And I

Dr. Brad Miller:

want to talk to you for a few minutes Kim about kind of the, the disciplines, the

Dr. Brad Miller:

things that shifted in your life that the how you thought through process and how you

Dr. Brad Miller:

applied some of your learning. You mentioned a lot of books that you read the coach

Dr. Brad Miller:

you had how you applied some of that in your day-to-day life, and to make a difference.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And then made puncher you teach us some of your coaching. And I love what you

Dr. Brad Miller:

talk about in one point here. But what's so great about journaling, what is great about

Dr. Brad Miller:

journaling from other things or other things that you may do.

Kim Ades:

So, what I did, because I've been a journal or ever since I was a kid kind of in and

Kim Ades:

out, on and off. But then when I hit that moment of adversity, I became religious about

Kim Ades:

it, you could say, you know, when things go bad, I need some place to express myself.

Kim Ades:

And really not only to express myself, but to remind myself where I want to go, how do I

Kim Ades:

want to live, how I view the world, and it helps me really take me to a new place. And

Kim Ades:

when I decided to start my coaching company, I said, wouldn’t it be really cool if I could

Kim Ades:

get into people's heads? And understand how they think how they see the world? How

Kim Ades:

they feel about themselves? And about everything else? Would it be cool if I could read?

Kim Ades:

their journals, because normally you think about journaling as something between you

Kim Ades:

and yourself. But what if, as a coach, I could kind of, you know, take a peek into that

Kim Ades:

conversation that you're having with yourself. And so, when I started coaching leaders, I

Kim Ades:

asked them to journal in an online journal in a way where I would be able to read them

Kim Ades:

journal and ask them questions about it. Because imagine that you're having this

Kim Ades:

conversation in your head, and someone else could hear it, but someone else suddenly

Kim Ades:

steps in and interferes and says, Brad, that thought is self-destructive. It's not useful. And

Kim Ades:

it's not even true.

Dr. Brad Miller:

I'm very interested this goods kind of like interactive counseling if you where you know, if

Dr. Brad Miller:

we were talking and kind of a but you're talking about in the business sense or

Kim Ades:

it doesn't. It's not only business IT people come initially for business but then they realize

Kim Ades:

there's so much more to their business than just their business.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Yeah. That's kind of get it's all integrated, you know, you really can't do like I said in us

Dr. Brad Miller:

earlier conversation part of our conversation, conversation, you can't do, you can't have

Dr. Brad Miller:

your business without your personal life without you with the good, the bad, the ugly of

Dr. Brad Miller:

your personal life. It's all integrated. I'm really interested in this, because that's what you

Dr. Brad Miller:

mean by the journal that talks back. Because when you work with your clients, you're

Dr. Brad Miller:

the one talking back, aren't you?

Kim Ades:

Well, that's exactly it. So, when we work with our executive clients, we couple this

Kim Ades:

concept of daily journaling. So, if you were a client, you would be journaling daily. And

Kim Ades:

as your coach, I'd be reading and responding to your journals, but then we'd also have

Kim Ades:

our weekly coaching sessions. So, what happened was, I started to notice a bit of a

Kim Ades:

trend, one of the trends that surfaced was that our clients were sharing that their young

Kim Ades:

adult children, were really struggling with stress, with anxiety, with depression, with

Kim Ades:

career confusion, relationship issues, all of that stuff. And so, we decided to create a

Kim Ades:

service specifically for young professionals called the journal that talks back where they

Kim Ades:

would be assigned to a coach, and they could journal as much as they want. And them

Kim Ades:

coach would read and respond to every single journal that they wrote within a 24 hour

Kim Ades:

time period. So, it's basically, as you say, interactive coaching. And so, we just, we just

Kim Ades:

launched this not that long ago.

Dr. Brad Miller:

And then this process, Kim, do you use any kind of a template or a framework for

Dr. Brad Miller:

people to have x, you know, certain kind of questions they're supposed to respond to, or

Dr. Brad Miller:

accountability, as it were to write so much, you know, it's something like this tells I'd like

Dr. Brad Miller:

administered, how it’s kind of really works. And

Kim Ades:

yeah, so let's talk a little bit about accountability, I'll come back to accountability,

Kim Ades:

because accountability is a huge part of the philosophy that we have. And I'll explain

Kim Ades:

what I mean by that. But in terms of how it works, if you're a young person, you go on to

Kim Ades:

the site, you track your mood, and then you have a library of journaling prompts that

Kim Ades:

you can choose from, or you can select one randomly, or you can choose not to have

Kim Ades:

any journaling prompt, and you start journaling. And when you do you hit submit, it

Kim Ades:

goes immediately to your coach, your coach gets a notification that says you've

Kim Ades:

journaled and your coach reads and responds to your journal, and you get one coach.

Kim Ades:

So, you build this relationship with your coach over time. And that's exactly how it works.

Kim Ades:

But let's talk a little bit about accountability for a minute. So, I know that in coaching,

Kim Ades:

the theory is that accountability is beautiful. It's awesome. It's amazing. But for me, if we

Kim Ades:

bring accountability into coaching, I think it's unethical at best and detrimental at

Kim Ades:

worst. Hmm, okay,

Dr. Brad Miller:

good. Go with that. Okay,

Kim Ades:

I'll explain to you why. So, let's say you say, hey, you know, like, I'm struggling with this

Kim Ades:

one thing, or I'm struggling with a whole bunch of things. And I don't feel good, like I feel

Kim Ades:

bad because I can't reach this one goal. And so how do you feel about yourself? Not

Kim Ades:

ideal, right? Not great. And you say, maybe a coach can help me, I'll find a coach. And

Kim Ades:

so, you start to work with a coach. And they say, do this and they hold you accountable.

Kim Ades:

And it works, right? It works. And so, what happens suddenly, when the coach is gone?

Kim Ades:

What the coach actually has done is created a system of dependence. And for me,

Kim Ades:

that's not very ethical, right? But let's go one step further.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Kind of reminds me before you go too far can arise when someone graduates with

Dr. Brad Miller:

school where they've had the structure of a teacher or whatever, and they graduate or

Dr. Brad Miller:

whatever, and they drop off the planet, you know,

Kim Ades:

right, they get lost, they get lost, right? And so now what happens, like, you know, a

Kim Ades:

minute ago, he said, you go to coaching, because you're not feeling so great about

Kim Ades:

yourself, and you're hoping that it could get better. And then you go into coaching, and

Kim Ades:

there's this accountability thing, and it still doesn't work. Now, how do you feel about

Kim Ades:

yourself better or worse? Even worse,

Dr. Brad Miller:

is driven by guilt, that's for sure.

Kim Ades:

Exactly. So, what the coach has done is taken a bad situation and made it infinitely

Kim Ades:

worse to me. That's detrimental. So, I'm not a fan of accountability and coaching. I'm a

Kim Ades:

fan

Dr. Brad Miller:

of what's your what's your response to it, then how do you get around this situation of

Dr. Brad Miller:

helping people to still make progress?

Kim Ades:

I'll tell you; I think relationship is the vehicle for travel. So, when there's someone in your

Kim Ades:

corner, that is unapologetically in your corner, even when you're not in your own corner,

Kim Ades:

that creates movement that creates traction, and that kind of relationship is unheard of.

Dr. Brad Miller:

So, it's about air for me It's about cheerleading as a word.

Kim Ades:

I don't like the word affirmation either. And I can give you a million reasons for that. But

Kim Ades:

it's about helping you see in yourself what's hard for you to see. And it's about shining a

Kim Ades:

light and holding a vision, on your success on your brilliance on your capabilities, not on

Kim Ades:

your flaws, your weaknesses and your failures. And it's about helping you get from

Kim Ades:

where you are to where you want to be by helping you look and think about things

Kim Ades:

differently. But it's that relationship that creates traction. If you don't trust me, you're

Kim Ades:

not going anywhere with me, we're not traveling together, you're not going to make

Kim Ades:

progress.

Dr. Brad Miller:

So, I think I'm tracking with you know it's about it's about the relationship thing, and not

Dr. Brad Miller:

about the accountability. And in fact, formation, if you allow me to take my own

Dr. Brad Miller:

tangent, which may be completely wrong, but help me out here. For you, there's two

Dr. Brad Miller:

levels of relationship you have, I would call it the vertical relationship that's between

Dr. Brad Miller:

yourself and your spiritual life, anything you have to do with yourself. And that would be

Dr. Brad Miller:

the part that would be kind of the opposite of there, the counterpoint to that would be

Dr. Brad Miller:

the affirmation thing. We talked about the original, careful. And then the relationship

Dr. Brad Miller:

with other people, what some people might have, would have called accountability is

Dr. Brad Miller:

how transformation takes place. So, there's a juxtaposition of that vertical relationship,

Dr. Brad Miller:

and the horizontal relationship am I tracking with you at all? Here,

Kim Ades:

you're tracking, I mean, again, the account, the affirmation component is, like,

Kim Ades:

separate from all of this, but I like I'm not, you know, I'm here to teach you show you

Kim Ades:

demonstrate the relationship between the way you think the way you see things, the

Kim Ades:

way you process things, and the outcomes you get the results you're getting. And so

Kim Ades:

when you start to learn that, really you take ownership of what's happening, but again,

Kim Ades:

I'm standing in your corner without budging. And people aren't used to that.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Well, that's beautiful. That's part of the process. I believe transportation transformation

Dr. Brad Miller:

takes place, in large part because of relationship. You know, that's the emotional

Dr. Brad Miller:

connection, you got to have an emotional piece in here somewhere. Exactly. You know,

Dr. Brad Miller:

you get her you emote almost have an emotional connection with other people,

Dr. Brad Miller:

usually, you it's hard to have any emotional candidly says, my perspective, it's hard to

Dr. Brad Miller:

have an emotional connection with a ledger sheet or with whatever, you know, a digital

Dr. Brad Miller:

readout of something you have, you have a relationship with another person. And so

Dr. Brad Miller:

that's, that's awesome examples about a person. So, it can tell us about a person or

Dr. Brad Miller:

persons that you've had a relationship with through your process of frame of mind

Dr. Brad Miller:

coaching, so you're about to change of mind. And you're also about this particular tool,

Dr. Brad Miller:

the journal tells us about a person you've worked with or seen transformation with that

Dr. Brad Miller:

did you've really been amazing and really said, okay, I'm doing something good here,

Dr. Brad Miller:

something's happening. Oh, gosh,

Kim Ades:

I've seen so many transformations. You know what I just finished, a sigh, Kosta young, a

Kim Ades:

young man who had some trauma in his and again, I'm not I'm not a therapist, I'm not a

Kim Ades:

counselor, right, who has some trauma in his background, which led to some difficulty in

Kim Ades:

his marriage and his relationship. And he was just a guy who was like, kind of thrashing

Kim Ades:

around with the world. And so, I coached him. And at the same time, his wife got

Kim Ades:

coached by another one of our coaches. And he started sharing his journals with her,

Kim Ades:

and he started sharing her journals with me. And at some point, I said, why don't I just

Kim Ades:

coach the two of you together. And I had never done that. So, I coached both of them.

Kim Ades:

And we just finished our coaching term last week. And what he said to me was, thank

Kim Ades:

you, you saved my life. And you saved my marriage. And so, it turned out that prior to

Kim Ades:

coaching, he had some suicidal ideation. And he said, you know, honestly, like this, this

Kim Ades:

made a massive, massive difference for me. And he's a very accomplished young man.

Kim Ades:

Right? It wasn't a business problem we were having.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Here's the thing and this, just say, hey, that's awesome. Nothing that feels much better

Dr. Brad Miller:

in life than be a part of something like that. And when people have issues, whatever

Dr. Brad Miller:

they are, you know, I believe that adversity takes basically five different forms and I

Dr. Brad Miller:

won't go into great detail but their depression which is the mental health side of things

Dr. Brad Miller:

divorce, which is relationship, kind of a covers of those things, disease, health related

Dr. Brad Miller:

things, debt, financial things and debt. end of life issues, I call it the five ds. And that's

Dr. Brad Miller:

kind of writing I do in that area. But they're all integrated, you know, everybody has

Dr. Brad Miller:

those things. And so, when people when a person has a problem, again, it's not an

Dr. Brad Miller:

isolation of the other things. And they will often turn to people they know whether it's in

Dr. Brad Miller:

the workplace, or their buddy they go drinking with or bowling with, or whatever, and

Dr. Brad Miller:

they turn to a professional counselor down the road. So, you have offered an in at least

Dr. Brad Miller:

an opening for people to have healthy transformation. That is awesome. So, I say thank

Dr. Brad Miller:

you for on behalf of that couple there, because that's a married savings a good, a good

Dr. Brad Miller:

thing, however, it happens.

Kim Ades:

Yeah, and here's the thing, you can't save a marriage if the two people in the

Kim Ades:

marriage is in particularly healthy. So, we need to deal with that first, right.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Trust ratio, either a marriage or a group, a corporate group, whatever, I'm a big believer

Dr. Brad Miller:

in, in you hit you, I call it you, you grew up through what you go through, which is you

Dr. Brad Miller:

know, you have to choose to grow through your circumstances, and a group can't

Dr. Brad Miller:

transform, unless an individual's or perhaps a couple transforms. And you learn that in

Dr. Brad Miller:

your prior marriage as well. It's not going to work if you don't, you know, if you don't

Dr. Brad Miller:

have all parties are not wanted to happen. At the common goal. There are all kinds of

Dr. Brad Miller:

things road, we can go down here and but you what you appreciate here you've

Dr. Brad Miller:

pervade provided innovative response, a solution, if you will, for people who have

Dr. Brad Miller:

matters that matter in their life, but also through, you know, their business matters as

Dr. Brad Miller:

well. And through this template as well. So, let's just say Kim, that if someone is listening

Dr. Brad Miller:

to our voice is here today, and I think, wow, it's kind of this is kind of a VA moment, kind

Dr. Brad Miller:

of aha moment this conversation has, you know, hit me where I live. What are people

Dr. Brad Miller:

going to find when they go to frame of mind coaching.com? And find out from you?

Dr. Brad Miller:

How can what you offer, be helpful to people who may go, okay, please help me.

Kim Ades:

Yeah, I mean, at free online, coaching.com. It explains how we coach and free online

Kim Ades:

coaching.com is really focused on the entrepreneurs, the executives, the highly

Kim Ades:

driven leaders, that people who want to make a massive difference in the world, the

Kim Ades:

people who are movers and shakers, that people who want all the good things in life,

Kim Ades:

but also, the people who are frustrated, because they aren't quite where they want to

Kim Ades:

be. And they don't understand why the world isn't cooperating. And I'm putting that in

Kim Ades:

very simple terms. But for me, my coaching is really designed to help those highly driven

Kim Ades:

individuals get to a new place. But really what is our mission in life is to help people live

Kim Ades:

with greater ease, peace, exhilaration, and joy. That's the mission. And when that

Kim Ades:

happens, they reach their goals with greater ease, they lead more successfully, they

Kim Ades:

have better relationships, they feel healthier, all the things start to happen. So that's

Kim Ades:

what we do at free online coaching. With a journal that talks back, we're targeting a

Kim Ades:

different audience, we're targeting a younger generation, we're targeting people who

Kim Ades:

may be there in university, maybe they're still living at home, maybe they're newly

Kim Ades:

married, maybe they just started a new job, maybe, you know, they're at a point in life

Kim Ades:

where there's massive transition. And there's a lot of confusion that comes with

Kim Ades:

transition. And they need just a little bit of support to work through some of this out.

Kim Ades:

And there are people who say, I don't really need therapy, but I definitely can use

Kim Ades:

someone to talk to, things aren't exactly as I thought they would be at this phase of me

Kim Ades:

life. And I need some help getting some clarity. So those are the two different kinds of

Kim Ades:

ways. Yeah.

Dr. Brad Miller:

Well, there's no doubt Kim that we live in a time of massive confusion. And a lot of

Dr. Brad Miller:

people who sense have a sense of meaning less Ness in life. And what you're providing

Dr. Brad Miller:

here is an opportunity for people to connect to unravel some of the confusion and to

Dr. Brad Miller:

get some direction and purpose in life and to begin to find some meetings, fullness in

Dr. Brad Miller:

life in the midst of a world that is often you know, pretty, pretty challenging. So

Dr. Brad Miller:

appreciate what you do and think you provide a great, great service. Okay, her name,

Dr. Brad Miller:

her name is Kim. And this Addis Kim Addis I know is going to mess it up. I apologize

Dr. Brad Miller:

Kim at us. And she's the founder of frame of mind coaching and the journal the talks

Dr. Brad Miller:

back. She works in the areas of personal development and executive coaching. And

Dr. Brad Miller:

she's a supermom of five and we didn't get into much of that over conversation today.

Dr. Brad Miller:

That might be a time for another conversation, because I got a feeling from us

Dr. Brad Miller:

conversation. Did you have some takes on parenting as well? I do and some things like

Dr. Brad Miller:

that. That would be another conversation another day. But you can connect up to Kim

Dr. Brad Miller:

Tim adda said friendly coaching calm thank you for being our guest today on beyond

Dr. Brad Miller:

adversity with Dr Brett Miller

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