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Being A Better Man - Alf Herigstad 15th July 2016
075 – I Am My Deeds
00:00:00 00:10:35

075 – I Am My Deeds



So recently, I had the pleasure of being a guest on two other podcasts;  I was on Father Nation with the host Jesse Foster, and that episode went live on July 9th, so you can listen to it right now if you want to.  His podcast is designed for guys who are fathers, and he has guests who come on and share their experience and try to help men become better fathers.

The second show I was on is a hugely popular show called Knowledge For Men, hosted by Andrew Ferebee.  His is a very well established podcast, they have been going for about three years and he imparts manly wisdom to his listeners twice a week and he has a lot of awesome guests…like myself.  We had a fantastic talk about all kinds of things.  His shows are usually around 30 – 40 minutes, but we were talking for over an hour without even noticing.  I’m really looking forward to that episode going live, which it should in the next couple weeks.  I’ll let you know when it does, that’s one reason to get on the Facebook page and the email list…so you don’t miss stuff like that.

Both of these hosts are great guys and I had a blast being on their show, I encourage you to check them out.  There are links to both shows above…in case you missed it.

When I was talking with Andrew on Knowledge for Men one of the first things he wanted to know was if I had a success quote, a mantra, an inspirational phrase that I used in my life. 

I did have one, and after the interview I was thinking about it and it occurred to me that I don’t think I have ever shared this phrase with you guys here on being a better man.  I don’t know why I haven’t…because it is a phrase I adopted about ten years ago that pretty much changed my life.  It is a phrase I say at least once a day and I usually think about it several more times each day.

This simple phrase is integral in the success of my personal journey to be a better man today than I was yesterday.  So, I decided now was a good time to share it with you guys.

It’s a very short, simple phrase, it has four words.  This is it…I AM MY DEEDS.  That’s it, I am my deeds.

Some of you might be sitting there just blinking right know…thinking “what’s that supposed to mean?”  I built it up to sound like I was giving you the keys to the universe…and now you are disappointed.  I strongly urge you to keep reading though…because I’m going to explain why those four words really might be the keys to the universe.

So lets break it down; what are deeds?  Deeds isn’t a word that is used that often these days but I like the word deed because it encompasses everything we say and do.  Every action we have taken, every word we have spoken, every decision we have made and every conversation we have had, everything…since we have been alive.  Those are our deeds.

Since the definition of deeds is all encompassing, it also includes every bad act you have done, every thing you are ashamed of as well as the things you are most proud of.  Your deeds are everything you do.

Now that we know what deeds are, what is meant by the phrase  I AM my deeds?  This can be explained by the idea that we are the sum total of every experience, every action, every reaction, we are the sum total of everything that has happened since we are born.  It all adds up to a unique total…and that is you, and me.

No two people are exactly alike because we have all had different experiences in life that add up to who we are.  Even identical twins who share the same home, the same face, many of the same experiences, sometimes the same girlfriend and even the same DNA…as similar as they appear, they have still had different experiences, different conversations, they have processed events from different perspectives and it starts to become evident pretty quickly that their sum totals are different.  They are unique individuals in spite of their similarities.

Our deeds are one of the biggest influences on the sum total of who we are because our deeds, the things we do, dictate the nature of experiences we have, what the outcomes are, how we felt about it and how others feel about us.

So when I say to myself each day, when I remind myself before I head out into the world that I am my deeds…it affects my behavior.  If the things I do both good and bad become a part of me,  Then I will be less inclined to engage in behavior that I don’t want to be part of me.

Have I done bad things in my life?  Yes.  Are there things I’ve done that I’m ashamed of?  Absolutely.  Are these things part of me still today?  Yes, they are.  They are part of my equation and I have to own that, learn from it, and use it as motivation to not repeat it.

here is a radical notion…once something is done, it cannot be undone.  Sure you can do other things to try and compensate for it, you can pay damages, you can suffer the consequences, and some people even think you can be forgiven for it…but the hard truth of the matter is, it cannot be undone. 

For example, lets say you committed murder, I’m not talking about self defense, you killed someone because you were angry, an unjustified homicide.  And then after that murder you are forgiven by every court, every person and every power in the universe that you subscribe to…that’s great, but the person is still dead as a doornail, your deeds cannot be undone.

We all have two choices when we commit a bad act; 1. we can pretend that it never happened, or 2. we can own it completely, acknowledge that is has now become part of us, and learn from it, and try to be better in the future.  I say there are only two choices, because everything besides owning it falls under the pretending it never happened category.

So, how can this help you?  The same way it helped me.  Once you internalize this notion that you are your deeds, once you fully understand and assimilate the truth of it…you suddenly become something you never were before;  100% personally accountable for everything you do.

There is great power and freedom in that because you no longer have to be accountable to anyone else, you beat them to it…because you are already accountable to yourself first, which renders everyone else’ accounting obsolete…you are now driving the train, you are no longer a passenger. 

With this freedom you are now able to design the person that you become by choosing what your sum total is…you decide with your actions what will become a part of you and what won’t.

I also believe that’s happening wether people know it’s happening or not.  Some folks are out there doing one bad act after another and it is becoming who they are.  They don’t realize the impact their deeds are having on who they are…

So, I am my deeds, and you are your deeds.  Our deeds become part of us, and realizing that gives us the upper hand.  We now have the freedom and power to choose what we are made of…by choosing our deeds.

This may be a brand new concept to some you, but I want you all to think about it.  Try it on, say it a few times…ponder the possibility that everything you do becomes a part of who you are.  If you have any questions or comments about this I would love to hear them.  Go to the Contact Alf tab and send me an email.

That’s it for today guys.  Now head into the weekend knowing that you are your deeds.  Know that you have the power to design who you are.  By your own actions you can be a better man today than you were yesterday.