{"href":"http://player.captivate.fm/services/oembed?url=http%3A%2F%2Fplayer.captivate.fm%2Fepisode%2F60b017e5-d074-4b20-99c5-9709ab1bb4b3","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Captivate.FM","provider_url":"https://www.captivate.fm","width":600,"height":200,"type":"rich","html":"","title":"7 Steps to Building Unshakable Confidence","description":"
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\nIt was the eighth grade. I was elated. I didn\u2019t want anyone to know I was elated, but-I was elated. I had just been nominated for class favorite. I know it\u2019s silly, but it was eighth grade. At the time it meant a lot even if I did have to respond with an, \u201cAww shucks I\u2019m so glad just to have been nominated.\u201d
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\nI remember walking into the lunch room that day and being greeted by Amy Cameron. She walks up to me with her very rare accent in the small East Texas town of Sulphur Springs northern accent and declared, \u201cYou’re not eeeeven gonna win. Clint Murray is going to be the class favorite.\u201d
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\nI just kind of smiled and nodded. It crushed me. My confidence had just been taken to the wood chipper. 
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\n\u201cShe\u2019s right. I probably won\u2019t win,\u201d I thought to myself. Turns out, she was right and wrong. I didn\u2019t win but neither did Clint. I think Brandon Brewer did. I really don\u2019t remember that part. 
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\nAmy Cameron wasn\u2019t a mean girl. She wasn\u2019t a cheerleader. She wasn\u2019t popular. I probably said 10 words to her throughout my entire primary school career which spanned almost 12 grades with Amy. 
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\nSo why did this leave such an indelible mark on my confidence? Why was my confidence determined by someone who had little to no impact on my life?
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\nAlthough this incident occurred in the 8th grade, I\u2019m sure the same scenario has played out in your adult life. Someone you didn\u2019t know, didn\u2019t like, someone who didn\u2019t even like themselves took a sledgehammer to your confidence. It\u2019s dumb. 
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\nWhat I\u2019ve learned is whomever we blame for feeling bad about ourselves is the person we have given power over us. This is a bad move. 
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\nWe need to separate opinions from facts and even then decide how much value and power they will have on our lives. I adopted a credo of sorts some time ago that sounds terribly arrogant, but I assure you it\u2019s not meant to be.
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\nI don\u2019t care about your opinion of me. I\u2019m ok saying this because I care even less about you valuing my opinion. You see I don\u2019t care if someone accepts my opinion as truth, fact, law, gospel or whatever you want to call it. I don\u2019t need to be agreed with. Nor do I give weight to the opinions of others as it relates to how I judge myself.
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\nThis is not to say I won\u2019t take constructive criticism. To the contrary. If you are someone I admire and whose opinion I value that\u2019s another story entirely. But if Amy Cameron\u2019s opinion of me is negative I don\u2019t give two shi**s. Why should I? 
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\nSo lesson one: Don\u2019t grant others the power of your confidence. 
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\nThe next thing we must understand is that confidence comes with an intimate knowledge of who we are and what we believe. When you find yourself getting angry, defensive and worked up because someone differs with you on a topic this is a sure sign that you are insecure with your position.
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\nIt\u2019s critical to know what you know and have the ability to defend it to yourself not just to others. This doesn\u2019t mean you can\u2019t be wrong, but in order to have unwavering confidence you need to know your principles and beliefs better than anyone else. 
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\nAlso, you need to know your strengths and weaknesses. If you have a strength, spend more time honing and developing it. Become a master of something you are good at. If you know you have the potential to go from good to great be great. 
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\nWhen you identify something you do poorly, eliminate the behavior or at leas work to improve it if it\u2019s critical to your life. This will ensure you go through life knowing that you know your strengths and weaknesses and instead of defen...","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300,"thumbnail_url":"https://artwork.captivate.fm/6b9ab4b5-a7cb-459e-85b8-ff51082a5b80/black-and-white-man-portraits-arts-culture-podcast-cover-1.png"}