{"href":"http://player.captivate.fm/services/oembed?url=http%3A%2F%2Fplayer.captivate.fm%2Fepisode%2F7211e878-8cc3-438f-9a49-d8ed87ece630","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Captivate.FM","provider_url":"https://www.captivate.fm","width":600,"height":200,"type":"rich","html":"","title":"Pleasure Principles \u2014 Boundaries, People-Pleasing, and the Power of \u201cNo\u201d with Barb Nangle","description":"On Pleasure Principles, host Avik Chakraborty sits down with boundaries coach Barb Nangle (Higher Power Coaching & Consulting; host of Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12-Step Recovery) to unpack why saying \u201cno\u201d feels threatening\u2014and how to rebuild integrity, energy, and time with values-anchored limits. We talk acculturation (especially for eldest daughters), shifting from approval-seeking to self-approval, actionable first steps (start with yourself, then expand to others), and why boundaries are not control\u2014they\u2019re clear choices. Barb contrasts hustle-and-grind burnout with resilient, strategic service, and explains the 12-step framework as a practical technology for personal change: stepwise, communal, spiritual, and action-driven. Direct, usable, and grounded\u2014so you can stop pouring from an empty cup and start living on your own terms.\nAbout the guest\u00a0\u00a0:\nBarb Nangle is a boundaries coach, speaker, and founder of Higher Power Coaching & Consulting. After decades of therapy, she transformed her life through 12-step recovery, overcoming codependency, people-pleasing, and self-neglect. She hosts the podcast \u201cFragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12-Step Recovery.\u201d\nKey takeaways:\n\n\n\u201cNo\u201d isn\u2019t selfish\u2014it's clarity. Saying no to others is saying yes to your priorities; selfishness is refusing support forever, not choosing yourself today.\n\n\nAcculturation drives people-pleasing. Many women\u2014often eldest daughters\u2014are taught to be helpers; boundaries require unlearning that role.\n\n\nStart with self-boundaries. e.g., \u201cNo work email after 6 p.m.\u201d Follow through, feel the freedom, and build confidence before addressing others.\n\n\nBoundaries are about your actions, not control. \u201cYou can call anytime; I won\u2019t answer after 8 p.m.\u201d Define your response, not their behavior.\n\n\nManage the feelings that surface. Guilt and shame are normal early signals; skills for feeling work keep you from caving.\n\n\nMove from external approval to self-approval. Integrity beats short-term likability; stop saying yes when you mean no.\n\n\nWatch the \u2018steamroller\u2019 dynamic. If you feel steamrolled, step off the road\u2014reduce time/availability instead of trying to change others.\n\n\n12-step recovery works because it\u2019s structured, communal, and spiritual. Action + accountability + meaning accelerates real change.\n\n\nResilience \u2260 pushing through. Chronic over-giving is not strength; strategic service after \u201cfilling your cup\u201d is.\n\n\nValues anchor durable boundaries. Identify your top five values and use them to decide where your yes/no goes.\n\n\n\u00a0\nConnect with the guest\u00a0\u00a0\n\n\nCoaching:\u00a0Higher Power Coaching & Consulting (search online)\n\n\nPodcast:Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12-Step Recovery (available on major apps)\n\n\nSocial: Search \u201cBarb\u00a0Nangle Boundaries Coach\u201d on LinkedIn/Instagram for current handles\n\n\nWant to be a guest on Healthy Mind, Healthy Life? DM on PM - Send me a message on PodMatch\n\n\nDM Me Here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/avik\n\n\nDisclaimer: This video is for educational and informational purposes only. The views expressed are the personal opinions of the guest and do not reflect the views of the host or Healthy Mind By Avik\u2122\ufe0f. We do not intend to harm, defame, or discredit any person, organization, brand, product, country, or profession mentioned. All third-party media used remain the property of their respective owners and are used under fair use for informational purposes. By watching, you acknowledge and accept this disclaimer.\nHealthy Mind By Avik\u2122\ufe0f is a global platform redefining mental health as a necessity, not a luxury. Born during the pandemic, it\u2019s become a sanctuary for healing, growth, and mindful living. Hosted by Avik Chakraborty\u2014storyteller, survivor, wellness advocate\u2014this channel shares powerful podcasts and soul-nurturing conversations on:\n\u2022 Mental Health & Emotional Well-being\u2022 Mindfulness & Spiritual Growth\u2022 Holistic Healing & Conscious Living\u2022 Trauma Recovery & Self-Empowerme","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300,"thumbnail_url":"https://artwork.captivate.fm/6fc409da-a195-4067-90c1-a92f7c84c453/untitled-design-4-b62zz.jpg"}