{"href":"http://player.captivate.fm/services/oembed?url=http%3A%2F%2Fplayer.captivate.fm%2Fepisode%2Fb88fc43b-2f9a-4913-8e00-d795f864679e","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Captivate.FM","provider_url":"https://www.captivate.fm","width":600,"height":200,"type":"rich","html":"","title":"337: Uncloseted Riff and Rant \u2013 Boy Erased! Was It Enough? \u2013 Joel Barrett","description":"Boy Erased, starring Lucas Hedges, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, and Joel Edgerton, explores the story of the son of a Baptist preacher is forced to participate in a church-supported gay conversion program after being forcibly outed to his parents. Based on the memori and true story of Garrard Conley, the film takes us on the journey of the physical and emotional roller coaster of abuse that gay conversion therapy inflicts on individuals. As I watched the movie, and having gone through a form of religious therapy, I felt it lacked the guts and depth that could have made the movie impactful. My friend Joel Barrett, a gay conversion therapy victim, felt differently. So today, we are going to explore both our feelings in hopes that by (UN)closeting both our views, we can help someone make the bold move and step into themselves with love and kindness, in light of or without the impact of gay conversion therapy.\r\nAbout Joel\r\nJoel Barrett is an LGBTQ Writer, Speaker, and Gatherer.\r\nIn what feels like another life,\u00a0he was a conservative, Baptist pastor married to a woman living in the Midwest raising three children. \u00a0When he uses the words \u201cconservative Baptist,\u201d most people reply \u201coh you mean, like Southern Baptist?\u201d. No.\u00a0 He was a part of independent, fundamental Baptist churches. \u00a0We thought the Southern Baptists were liberal. He spent over 30 years in this religion.\r\nHe always knew something was wrong with him, but he thought his sexual desires were\u00a0merely a spiritual problem that would go away as he worked to be more \u201cgodly\u201d.\u00a0 Being gay wasn\u2019t an option in that theological world, so he was determined to rid himself of this besetting sin through prayer, Bible study, memorizing scripture, going to church, and a long list of other good things.\u00a0 He spent his life trying to not be gay.\r\nHis last resort was to call Exodus International and get the help needed to become\u00a0 \u201cex-gay\u201d.\u00a0 Some call it reparative therapy or conversion therapy or ex-gay\u00a0therapy, but regardless of the name,\u00a0the goal is to eliminate, reduce, or at best eliminating, reducing or at least suppress one\u2019s SSA (same sex attraction). Since this practice is not based in any science and there is no evidence that one\u2019s sexual orientation can be changed, the experiences of those who have gone through vary greatly.\u00a0 Movies like\u00a0Boy Erased\u00a0tell true stories that are an accurate portrayal of elements of my experience, especially in attitude and language.\r\nEventually, he resigned his church and committed himself 100%\u00a0to this process for nearly three years. No one wanted to be \u201cnot gay\u201d more than him.\u00a0 He felt like the poster boy for ex-gay therapy during that time.\u00a0 He went to individual and group counseling sessions, attended retreats, read the books, went to conferences, listened to the speakers, fought evil spirits with the counselor, and cried and prayed like never before in his life.\u00a0 To hear a short audio version of some of his story listen to his performance on the storytelling\u00a0podcast RISK!\r\nToday he\u2019s happily married to his husband of over a decade.\u00a0 He shares his colorful story with audiences everywhere to encourage them to live each day as their most authentic self not controlled by fear and shame.\r\nWebsite\r\nTwitter\r\nFacebook","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300,"thumbnail_url":"https://artwork.captivate.fm/4b9b6c41-474a-4fd0-a374-cbb2a7aa23a4/1400x1400_uncloseted_artwork-01-573.jpg"}