{"href":"http://player.captivate.fm/services/oembed?url=http%3A%2F%2Fplayer.captivate.fm%2Fepisode%2Fd366f254-065f-455d-baf6-279655c49008","version":"1.0","provider_name":"Captivate.FM","provider_url":"https://www.captivate.fm","width":600,"height":200,"type":"rich","html":"","title":"10 Things I Stopped Doing After Turning 40-Best Friday Ever","description":"
\nI\u2019ve often said when I turned 40 my \u2018I don\u2019t give a sh** meter went way up. It wasn\u2019t a cognitive thing. It required no effort. Something just organically happened. I\u2019m not sure what, but it did.
\n
\n
\n
\nNow I\u2019m 47 and I realize I might have had it wrong. I didn\u2019t increase my list of things I don\u2019t care about. I just became more acutely aware of the things I do care about. It\u2019s funny. When you focus intently on that which matters the things you don\u2019t just sort of naturally organize themselves without any effort on our part.
\n
\n
\n
\nFor example, I once worried intently about being seen as a really nice guy. My stepmother had once told me, \u201cPeople wonder why your brothers and sisters don\u2019t hate you.\u201d
\n
\n
\n
\nThis stung and stayed with me well into my adult life. I used to obsess over it. I think I had this mindset that if everyone thought my siblings should hate me then they must hate me as well. Yikes! To make up for this I needed to be liked. I needed everyone to know I wasn\u2019t the awful person my stepmother led me to believe I was. I needed people to know I was really kind and nice. As a result I would somewhat \u2018perform\u2019 for others. I no longer do this.
\n
\n
\n
\nI don\u2019t worry about that anymore. Instead I focus on those I know love me and work on loving them back, which is no work at all. I focus my attention on being a good and decent person not because I need to be liked and prove my stepmother wrong but because I just genuinely want to be a good person and example.
\n
\n
\n
\nA lot of people say they don\u2019t care what others think. I\u2019ve found most people who say this actually care deeply what most people think. If they didn\u2019t they wouldn\u2019t have to make such an announcement. They wouldn\u2019t care if you knew or didn\u2019t know they don\u2019t care what people think. You know?
\n
\n
\n
\nHere is a list of 10 things I\u2019ve determined I won\u2019t do any longer. We always hear of goals and metrics outlining those things we must do, have to do, gonna do. We\u2019re gonna do em every day, every week, we\u2019re gonna do do do all the live long day.
\n
\n
\n
\nI\u2019ve written before on the power of a \u2018not to do list.\u2019 Here\u2019s another take on the concept. Have a list of things you are determined you will focus on so you no longer do the things that simply aren\u2019t adding value to your life.
","thumbnail_width":300,"thumbnail_height":300,"thumbnail_url":"https://artwork.captivate.fm/1e85c20a-45cb-4a26-a5c7-74d449a2e5b5/black-and-white-man-portraits-arts-culture-podcast-cover-1.png"}