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Description

How do you know when to step in, and when to let someone find their own way?

This story traces the uncertain space between holding on and letting go; the way a parent hovers, ready to catch, but knows they also need to step back. Through everyday moments of encouragement and wobbly first tries, we see how care sometimes means offering steady presence instead of solutions.

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Welcome to Summer Speedos from Neighborly, our short in between season

series, while Shannon takes a break from our regular interviews. I'm

Johan, the producer of the show. Some episodes are field notes recorded

outside in ordinary places where care actually happens. Others

are story field notes, more cinematic reflections that start with a story

from history or real life. Either way, we're paying attention to the small,

ordinary ways care, faith, courage and community show up around us.

So grab a cold drink, head out on that bike ride, walk or hike.

Enjoy this year's edition of Summer Speedos From Neighborly.

Hey, everyone, Johan here, back for another field note on the

Summer Speedo series. As we're in between seasons, as we're in between

interviews, just taking a moment to walk around the neighborhoods,

trails and all that stuff, and notice things and people

around me that, you know, teach us how to be better neighbors, how to

be more observant. I'm out on another walk today, actually walking

down a. I don't actually know where I am. I'm walking down a street that

I'm unfamiliar with, which is kind of fun, mostly because I'm running away

from those people that are staring at me as I talk into a microphone.

Anyway, there's a lot of kids in our neighborhood, a lot of

dog walkers and a lot of bicycles.

This got me thinking about when my kids were learning to ride their bike. When

I saw a parent teaching the kid to ride a bike, I heard the

words every parent says right before a child either learns to ride a bike

or enters a shrub. You've got it.

You're doing awesome. Well, the bike was

wobbling, the kid was pedaling with the intense focus of

someone defusing a bomb. And the parent was jogging

behind, one hand half raised, ready to help, but

trying very hard not to help too much.

That's the whole tension of teaching someone to ride a bike.

If you hold on forever, they're probably never going to learn. But if you

let go too soon, the sidewalk introduces

itself. Encouragement doesn't remove the risk.

The kid still has to wobble. The parent still has to

let go and chase. The sidewalk remains,

unfortunately, quite committed to being solid.

Unless, of course, you're talking about Winnipeg and their potholes.

But the encouragement matters. Someone is close enough to

help, but not so controlling that the child never learns.

That feels like a picture of care to me. There are times when people need

us to carry them, and there are times when people need us to stand

nearby and help them try. That can be,

well, hard to discern. If we step in too

quickly, we may accidentally communicate. You can't

do this. If we step back too far, we may communicate

you're on your own. Good care often lives in that

awkward middle place, close enough to support,

but far enough to honour growth. I

think about that in parenting, too. Or in friendship,

in leadership. Or in church community. There are

some people around us trying to learn something new. A new rhythm,

a new way of asking for help. Maybe a new way of setting

boundaries. Or a new way of trusting God. After

disappointment, we've all been there. Maybe it's a new way

of belonging after being hurt. And sometimes they don't need a

lecture. In fact, they usually don't need a lecture.

They need someone jogging beside them saying, you've got it. Keep

going. I'm here. That's encouragement,

not empty hype, not pretending everything is easy.

Encouragement helps put courage back into someone.

In courage, there is a reason scripture

tells us to encourage one another. Because people are

people. They get tired, people wobble.

People need courage put back into them. And

sometimes, yes, people need someone nearby

when a shrub or the pavement gets involved. So this

week, think about the people around you who are trying to learn something

hard. Someone taking a step they haven't taken

before, someone trying to rebuild trust,

start again, ask for help, or keep going when they feel

clumsy at it. Maybe the most caring thing you can offer

is not advice. Maybe it's steady encouragement. That

sounds like, I see you trying. I'm

still here. Keep going. Sometimes the bravest thing someone

does all week is keep pedaling. And

sometimes the most neighborly thing we could do is run beside them for a

while. That's the feel note. Keep

noticing.

It.