Wondering if Squad Car 22 is better than gum-flavored popsicles? Then listen to this trailer/ mini-episode and decide for yourself. Squad Car 22 is a sci-fi, comedy, audio-drama available for free. This episode stars Nathan Feuerberg and Martin James Grapengeter with narration by Lady Zen.
Listen to other audio dramas by Deep Drag at deepdrag.com
Transcripts
Speaker:
[Holloway] Hmm, Mario's Pizzeria, I don't recall that being there.
Speaker:
I wonder if they do tiramisu.
Speaker:
[Holloway] Anybody home?
Speaker:
[Campari] [Laughs] [Holloway] Are you are you open?
Speaker:
[Campari] Who's a askin'?
Speaker:
[Holloway] Me, Officer Holloway.
Speaker:
[Campari] [Laughs] [Holloway] Hey, hold up.
Speaker:
Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?
Speaker:
Are you a Campari bottle that can speak?
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[Campari] That's a right.
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You got a problem with that?
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[Holloway] Can you sell me a piece of tiramisu?
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[Campari] I don't see why not.
Speaker:
We're open for business, if you know what I mean.
Speaker:
[Holloway] Well, I guess I'm cool with it then.
Speaker:
[Campari] But come on, tiramisu is for softies.
Speaker:
How about I get you something with a little more forte.
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Something a little more hardcore.
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[Lasagna] Hardcore!
Speaker:
[Holloway] Wait, who else is in here?
Speaker:
[Campari] Oh, that's just Lasagna.
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Don't worry about him.
Speaker:
[Holloway] Hmm.
Speaker:
[Campari] What if I were to tell you I had some vitello al parmigiano?
Speaker:
[Holloway] Is that Italian for veal parmesan.
Speaker:
[Campari] That's a right.
Speaker:
[Holloway] Man back when I was a kid I used to love parmesan hoagies.
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But these days you can't even talk about baby cows on a bun.
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[Campari] Oh yeah. [Laughs] Vitello so silky and smooth on the tongue.
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Not rough like the beef.
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[Holloway] I don't know.
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If anyone at the precinct found out, I never hear the end of it.
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[Campari] Do we look like the type to go around running our mouths?
Speaker:
[Holloway] You look like the types who wouldn't mind clubbing a baby seal.
Speaker:
[Campari] We're a nice guys.
Speaker:
We're, how do you say, Goodfellas.
Speaker:
[Holloway] Well I didn't mean to...
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[Campari] Look, look, if that's what your into I guess we could arrange it.
Speaker:
[Holloway] No, no, I'm fine with with a parmesan sandwich and a piece of tiramisu.
Speaker:
[Campari] Well, for an extra twenty dollars, we'll bring in a baby veal and give it you
Speaker:
a mallet to bludgeon it with.
Speaker:
[Holloway] Thanks but I'm the type of guy who likes his dinner prepackaged in plastic
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wrap.
Speaker:
[Campari] You don't have to lie.
Speaker:
We're all friends here.
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[Holloway] No, really I can't even crack open raw oysters.
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[Campari] Oh come on, there's nothing like pounding the head of a little, baby, vitello
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with a big shiny hammer.
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It's an exquisite experience
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[Lasagna] Exquisite!
Speaker:
[Holloway] Hmm, maybe it's better if I just leave.
Speaker:
[Campari] Just hold on.
Speaker:
Hey!
Speaker:
Tony!
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Come in here!
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[Tony] [Tony runs in. The bell around his neck rings.]
Speaker:
[Campari] This is Tony.
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Only six weeks old.
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Tony turn around.
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Let the nice copper have a look at you.
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[Tony] [Tony runs around, bell ringing.]
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[Campari] That's a good vitello.
Speaker:
Now roll over.
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[Tony] [Tony moos] [Campari] Come on Tony.
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Roll over for the policeman.
Speaker:
[Holloway] Okay guys, I'm just gonna take a tiramisu and go.
Speaker:
[Campari] Are we going to have a problem?
Speaker:
[Holloway] No, no, it's just like I said.
Speaker:
You know, I appreciate a distance between me and my meals.
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[Tony] [Tony moos] [Campari] Shut up and pick up the mallet!
Speaker:
[Lasagna] Pick it up!
Speaker:
[Holloway] Okay, okay!
Speaker:
[Campari] Now give Tony a good whop on his soft, little, head.
Speaker:
[Holloway] I really don't...
Speaker:
[Campari] Shut up and do it already!
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[Tony] [Tony moos excitedly]
Speaker:
[Campari] Take out Tony.
Speaker:
Take out Tony.
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Take out Tony.
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[Holloway] Sorry, Tony...
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[Tony] [Tony moos] [Music Crescendos]
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[Narrator] Squad car 22 is a sci-fi, comedy, audio-drama.
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Listened to the first season for free on Spotify, iTunes, Podcast Addict, YouTube, and any other
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podcast app.
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Squad Car 22 is part of the deep drag podcast family.
Speaker:
[Campari] Look at the shiny watch moving back and forth in front of your eyes.
Speaker:
You will forget you ever met a talking Lasagna and Campari bottle.
