Leanne Brown, a multifaceted individual often recognized merely as the former Cheshire housewife, embarks on a profound discussion that unveils her remarkable journey of transformation. In this episode, she elucidates her evolution as a mother, author, entrepreneur, and wellness advocate, shedding light on her willingness to confront difficult subjects that society often shies away from. As she unveils her latest children's book, which carries a vital message for today's youth, we delve into the personal experiences that fueled her commitment to wellness and self-discovery. Moreover, Leanne candidly addresses the circumstances surrounding the removal of her previous podcast and the subsequent questioning of societal constructs. This dialogue offers an intimate glimpse into Leanne's authentic voice, revealing the depth of her character that transcends public perceptions.

Takeaways:

1. In this episode, we delve into the multifaceted life of Leanne Brown, who has evolved beyond her public persona as an ex-housewife to become an advocate for wellness and empowerment.
2. Leanne's journey emphasizes the significance of self-discovery and resilience, as she navigated personal challenges to emerge stronger and more aware of her purpose.
3. The discussion highlights Leanne's commitment to addressing societal issues, including her advocacy against harmful practices and her dedication to educating the next generation through her children's books.
4. We explore the transformative power of community and connection, illustrating how supportive relationships and shared experiences can foster personal growth and collective healing.

Today, I'm sitting down with a woman that most people think they already know, but they may not know just how phenomenal she really is.

Leanne Brown isn't just the ex Cheshire housewife.

She's a mum, an author, an entrepreneur and a wellness advocate.

A woman who's rebuilt herself from the inside out, and someone who's been willing to speak out about topics that most people avoid because they're scared of the backlash.

She's now launched another children's book with a message this generation genuinely needs.

She built a wellness platform that comes from lived experience.

And today, we're going to openly talk about why her old podcast got taken down and why she started questioning the systems around us.

This is Leanne in her real voice, the version that maybe most people don't always get to hear.

Leanne.

Hello, Suzy.

Thank you for finally.

Great intro.

Thank you very much.

I know.

We've been planning it for a while, haven't we?

We have been planning it for a while.

You're very busy.

And now I forgot the book.

Now you've.

Now you forgot the whole reason why we.

It was delayed in the first place.

But that's fine.

That's fine.

So just to give a bit of background of how you and I know each other, which hasn't been for that long, but we've just got this wonderful connection, I feel.

So we both got invited to Dawn's podcast.

Yeah.

And it was a lovely little retreat.

And on the day of the podcast, I needed to reflect on something and I had a few questions going in my mind, so I thought, I'm gonna go out into the garden, I'm gonna take my yoga mat and I'm just gonna sit on my own and just be in this grass and just reflect on a few things.

And I went outside and there were you out in the garden on your yoga mat, just there on your own.

And I was like, what are the chances?

And we sort of sat a little bit away, and then I thought, I'm gonna ask her for some advice.

And then we just started chatting, didn't we, in it.

And it sort of went from there.

Yeah.

So you've got such a lovely way about you.

You've got such a beautiful energy.

And I've just felt so, so much warmth from it and so connected to you.

Or like, from the minute.

Yeah.

It's like a love story.

Oh, honestly.

You just got such warmth and.

Yeah.

Friendliness, just.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Just protect it.

You're just very easy to talk.

I know.

You obviously taught me so you must have felt the same, but you're very 100% taught to.

Yeah, it's.

It's nice that you say that.

Thank you.

And it's not.

Not that it's not something that you get with everybody, because I do try and be, you know, nice and friendly with everybody, but there's just those certain people.

And I know you are huge on energy.

It's just in.

It's just an energy.

You can't quite explain it, but it just feels, like, so.

Natural.

Yeah, natural.

Yeah, that's the right word.

So I've been contemplating to even talk about Cheshire Housewives, but my question is, are you bored of it now or do you see it as part of your platform so you don't mind talking about it?

Yeah, I mean, it's all part of the journey, isn't it?

And I can't ignore it or disregard it.

And people still do talk about, like, the show when they see me, you know, and I still get messages saying about going back on it and making friends with certain people that I don't speak to anymore.

And because people only have that sort of insight into my life and think that that's all that there is kind of thing, you know, because people do get so sucked into tv, don't they, in reality TV shows?

And, you know.

Yeah.

Even when people are playing a character, you know, you think that that's the way that they actually are.

But.

No, it is.

I don't mind talking about it.

And I. Yeah, it's given me the platform.

It's given me the platform that I've got.

Even though, you know, the Instagram was taken down.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But, yeah, it's all.

It's all part of the journey.

And it was all.

I was meant to go on the show.

I was meant to experience it and have that insight, I guess, into fame and what it felt like.

And obviously being married to Wes give me, like, a little bit of being in the public eye.

But, yeah, being on the show was just.

And, like, being thrust into the public eye and everyone having an opinion on.

On who you are, who you were.

And.

Yeah, you know, it was part of.

It was tough.

But, yeah, I think it's also a compliment because there are so many women on Cheshire Housewives, and I think if, you know, I. I've probably watched two or three episodes with my mum at one point, but if you were to ask me about other people, there's not many, but for you to stand out so much, that's, like a huge compliment.

Why do you think you did stand out against the others.

I think you did.

Yeah.

You're like an og.

I think that's why.

I think it's because you are so down to earth and normal, if you like, and you've got a wonderful warm personality that you stood out, which is nice.

Yeah, I. I do get told often that I was one of the nice ones.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or the nicest one on there.

That's one.

Something that comes up quite a lot.

But actually that almost went against me in the beginning because I got told.

I was like, girl next door, we're not sure what to do with you and you need to bring it.

I mean, I can bring the fire.

Yeah.

Which I did on.

In.

On different occasions when you needed to.

Yeah.

I was also very emotional on there because.

And I think, you know, seeing that journey play out with regards to what happened on the show and then almost.

It was almost like a dismantling of my old self and created such an awareness in my life that caused me to then make different decisions about my life, moving forward, I guess, about my environment, my circles, my relationship.

And yeah, that was sort of the.

The beginning, beginning of the end to go on to the beginning, go on

to the beginning again.

So the wellness work that you do now, most people won't know how it actually came about.

So what was the moment or breakdown that pushed you to this level of healing work?

Just let's let people know about the amazing work that you do actually do in terms of wellness and how you got there.

So being on, being on the show, obviously just wanting to be.

To do something that felt good because it was obviously been in a toxic environment and I started, obviously I was having crystal healing while I was on the show.

And who introduced you to that?

It was actually a friend of mine who used to be my hairdresser and she was having it and I'd been very open to like the spirituality environment.

I guess my brother was into the mind, Body and soul festivals and he'd go and have his cards ready.

Was a bit of a.

Bit of a goth when he was younger.

So I was quite open to it.

Also experimented with magic mushrooms when I was younger.

So I think my.

My always say that's why my mind obviously became.

Was.

Was already sort of opened in the sense of feeling like there was more than just this on a subconscious level because I was obviously younger when I did my magic mushroom mushy brew garage, we went to put them in the field.

So my mind was already quite, quite open in that how old Were you?

Oh Gosh, it's about 12, 13, 14.

No, I was joking.

Yeah,

around 40 years.

I left home when I was 16.

Oh my God.

So can you remember any of your, any of your journeys, any of your trips at that?

They were just more.

Obviously it was more about the visuals, you know, just seeing everything in a different perspective from colors.

It didn't.

And I never felt, I never felt scared about it.

It was just so.

It was like an adventure and it was just, it was like magical and I was with my brother and felt safe and sometimes we'd go walks.

I lived in a village and sometimes we'd go walking over the fields and other times we'd just sit in the house, laugh about four hours and nothing and then look at our trails and stuff like that.

I mean I've only told my mom recently about.

So that's why we can talk about.

So I sort of revisit that book but being in that, the crystals and using that crystal healing and sort of getting in that meditative state before I really knew about meditating or any of that.

Almost like a well being ritual that I now do regular basis.

And you know it's.

It's DMT or DMT you can actually release in your brain from deep meditation and breath work.

Anyway, we have it naturally.

So it just kind of opens your mind to that, doesn't it?

It's a psilocybin with mushrooms.

But yeah, it's the same sort of like result I guess that you, that you get when you take it.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like a mind opener if you will for sure.

But yeah, the crystal healing them sort of put me on the path.

And I always mentioned Tanya because she was into the angels and she gave me an angel book.

Book by angels and speaking to your angels and asking and you know, being grateful for things in your life that then, then attracts more things to be grateful for.

And that just opened my mind.

And reading Tanya's book and she would always say, you know, believe in yourself and.

And because in that environment I was sort of really under somebody else's sort of shadow, if you will.

And stepping away from the show I just, I was doing writing and then I written my self help journal.

Yeah.

And I just really wanted to do something that was empowering to women.

Yeah.

And that's when I got involved in the charity one woman at a time and went over to Kenya and did some work over there and seen just seeing the world from a completely different perspective of being in Cheshire, living in that bubble.

It's It's a.

It's a show exploiting wealth, essentially.

I'd been, obviously, footballer's wife and.

And being really focused on things and material objects and.

And just be.

That was the shift, I guess.

Yeah, well, I guess it was like a slow progression of actually, you know, there's.

There's.

There's more than just this and, you know, being in that meditative state with the crystals and having visions and then wanting more for myself, you know, to help others.

Did you witness anything in Kenya that was quite pinnacle or.

I remember sitting down with Jean when I first left the show, because I wanted to do something that was empowering.

And actually it was about hypnobirthing.

And when I then think back, I was pregnant.

I was having crystal healing before I got pregnant, and when she was doing it actually with Lola, and she was like, this one's been here before, you know, because she was so.

And she said she'd known that I was pregnant before I was.

And when you say about the shift in your spirit, spiritual shift in hypnobirthing, you have to use your mind to control your thought process, to control your bodily functions, I guess, to relax and.

And really focus on imagery and visualization and stuff like that, so.

And words as well, are really powerful.

So that was probably a really, even though I didn't know at the time, a big shift for me, but wanting to do the.

The hypnobirthing and.

And actually share more about that, because I was like, this is amazing.

Why can't every woman know about natural birth is so normal and natural?

And I think there was such a shift with pushing.

Not, not pushing, but more exposure to, like, have a cesarean.

It's really easy, you know, people that didn't even have any complications were sort of opting for it, like, with posh.

Too posh to push, you know?

Yeah, yeah, of course.

And then Jean then told me about the FGM and having three girls.

I was just blown away and I want to do something to help.

So she.

The stories that she told me even before I got there were pretty.

Pretty gruesome and horrific.

So.

But, yeah, the people over there were just so lovely.

It was a massive culture shock, like, huge.

Going there and having to, like, wee in a hole and, you know, remember went to this hotel and I could the smell of the bakery downstairs.

And I said, we had.

The lift was broken.

We had these massive cases.

We didn't travel light.

We still like the big knots of suitcases.

You could tell we were from Cheshire.

Me and My friend.

I took my other friend, Lenca.

She came with us as well.

And Jean was just laughing and, you know, she's traveling really, like, where are you gonna go with that?

And so we got to the top of the stairs and could smell this bakery.

I was like, oh, my God, I'd love a cake, you know?

Cause we were starving and we'd hardly eat.

And she said, I'll go and get you one.

What do you want?

I said, oh, I'll have an almond.

What's that?

I got one.

And she went, you're bloody joking.

Almond quascent.

She said, well, I'll see what they've got.

And she came back and there was this rock bun and I could have thrown at the wall.

It was that hard.

It was like horrific.

But yeah, there was a few funny stories.

Like driving.

We had a driver.

So we had a driver.

He got paid in bottles of beer.

Yeah.

And he had this clapped out car and it was all rusted.

And we were driving, trying to find one of the ex midwife's that was.

Well, she was an ex cutter for the FGM and we were gonna find her.

And she lived out in the countryside.

And we were driving and the guy there was like a river.

And he just started driving through it.

Just started driving through this river.

And I've got a video.

Should make a little documentary or something of it.

And we're in the car and I'm like, the water's coming through the bottom of the car.

And the water was just flooding, like underneath one of the car.

And he got to the other side of it.

Yeah.

And then it just.

Were you wearing Louboutins or.

No, no, I did play it down.

But yeah, there was lots of.

Lots of funny stories and amazing moments over there.

Meeting the one lady who.

Gina donated a Singer sewer, like Singer sewing machine.

Yeah, we're the old ones.

And she had then gone on to have her own shop.

She started off by getting old cement bags and making shopping bags out of them.

And then obviously then she's gone on to doing, like, buying material and doing uniforms and hospital sheets.

And we went to see her actual shop that she'd created from that.

So it just shows, like, just small things.

Exactly.

Just.

Just to give them their own economic.

Economic power.

It's about giving women a chance to have a.

Have a choice in life.

Because over there, the women get sold for, like, dowry and.

And, you know, it gets old.

The girls, should I say, not women.

They're old enough to be their grandfathers, the future husbands it's really, I was

really, I was researching a lot because I heard a story about honour killings that are still happening in the UK and how the police can't really do anything about it because it's a religious situation, it's not a crime, it's a religious situation.

And they're, they're going, they're not even going into these houses, they're sort of going to the edge of the neighborhood where they're happening and basically saying there's not much we can do about this.

And girls are arriving bloody.

I'm in shock.

Yeah, it's crazy.

It's horrendous.

It is crazy.

I mean, what happened to the world to actually.

Well, obviously over there it is like a massive cultural thing which is against the law and it's still against the law over there.

So the fact that they can get away with it over here and there's been like.

I think there's been one conviction in Scotland and it was a young girl, horrific story.

She was three at the time and they'd had like a witch doctor to come and do it and they had like cows tongues in the freezers and stuff and.

Yeah.

And said that she'd fallen on the cupboard getting cookies when they took her to hospital because she'd have that much of a mess.

Yeah.

Made of her.

And it took two years to get the conviction but I think they got 14 years or something like that.

And that's the only known conviction.

I don't know to, to date now whether that's changed but is actually crazy.

It's crazy and it's so sad that I mean women are at such risk, I think, you know, especially in that cultural society and a lot of the women actually vouch for it.

You know, we, we talk to a lot of men over in Kenya and they said they would marry a non circumcised woman.

Yeah.

And it's more the women and the grandmas.

Yeah.

And the mothers that are pushing them to do it because of fear of them being ostracized from the society.

And that's the big thing around it.

Sort of a law to their own, aren't they?

Have you ever read the book A Thousand Sons?

I think it's called A Thousand Suns?

No, I haven't.

It's a wonderful book.

And basically the ladies in there, they're all Muslim and they all wear full, you know, full head to toe burqas and their perspective is how safe they feel in it, how secure they.

And it's, it's, it's a really, it's, it's a really interesting.

It's a really interesting book.

But yeah, so they just.

I just feel like they're just conditioned to maybe think like that.

But.

Well, yeah, I mean, if you're feeling safe because nobody can see you.

Yeah.

And that, yeah, that's a massive thing for me is feeling unseen through my life and, and wanting to, to be seen.

So if you're feeling like you have to wear.

You have to be covered inside of a blanket to feel safe.

It's quite, quite sad.

And I will just mention about the unisex toilet thing.

I am not a fan.

I'm not a fan of it.

Me neither.

I mean, I'm not being funny, but men, just a lot of men, we on the floor and it's just messy.

And not only that, Leanne.

And again, it's something that I read recently or watched on Instagram.

We've always brought our kids up to be like super independent.

Both of them are.

And we'd be at a restaurant and Nina would always go, can I go for.

Can I go to the toilet?

And we'd be able to see the toilet and be like, yeah, okay.

Because she.

Or she, you know, can I clear the plates away?

Because she just.

So we'd always be like, yeah, yeah, of course.

And then I watched a video to say, never ever, ever let your child, son or daughter go to the bathroom on their own.

Because the amount of reported incidents of people waiting in there.

Yeah.

That could change their lives forever.

And I watched that and you know, and you just get this.

Absolutely.

I just felt so sick and I thought of all the time.

So now every single time, you know, she always either asks Benjamin, she just wants to get up off her seat and just do something.

My kids.

But I'm always just like, right, well, I'll go with you then.

And she's semi stopped asking that.

Yeah, it's not, it's not as fun.

But I.

It's a safe haven.

Well, for women in general, it's like a safe haven as well.

You know, if you run to the toilet, if you're having like trouble with a relationship or a boyfriend or, you know, you're going in and you have a crying, your friends are coming with you or even coming out and just having a freshen up and putting makeup on and you don't want to hang around in the toilets if you've got men coming in and out.

Yeah, it's.

It feels unsafe for sure.

And I don't understand why, why it's been done so much.

Well, I, I kind of do with obviously with regards to the, the trans and, you know, people that obviously want to change the body in different ways or the, you know.

But why not just have a.

Well, there's a unisex toilet or a.

Of a different.

You know what I mean?

Have a men and a women.

Yeah.

And have a unisexual.

Yeah.

You know, so there's three separate toilets.

Yeah.

If they really want to.

If you want to mix.

If you want to mix and you want to.

You don't mind whether there's men or women on the toilet.

On the toilet in the bathroom, then.

Yeah, then you've got that option.

And it's just a bit of a headache for other people.

I went to, my brother actually did a stand up comedy for the first time last week.

Yeah.

Is he still a goth?

No, he's not, but yeah, no, he's done that.

It's like a little new venture for him and he was, you know, love the fact that I've mentioned it on your podcast, but it was really good, like real good presence.

Is he funny?

Is he genuinely funny?

Yeah, he is funny.

Yeah, he is.

And he's got great energy.

Everyone was doing it, it was for charity and they'd had a bit training and I mean, I might be a bit biased, but a lot of people said like his energy and the interaction with the crowd.

But at that venue there was a men's toilets and a women's toilets and they'd put a sign just over the men's sign.

So that was short.

And then the women's toilets just had a piece of paper saying unise.

So everybody was going in and out there and it was.

Was not nice.

Where was it?

It was in.

Yeah, no, it was the Grosvenor Hotel.

It was like on the way out of Manchester.

Oh, got it, got it, got it.

Yeah, but, yeah, no, it's a shame.

But anyways, yeah, not a fan of that.

But how do we get onto that?

I don't know.

But I love, I love the tangents that this conversation is going on.

So bringing it back to one of the.

So just for context, I've been wanting you on this podcast for ages.

You were like, susie, before I come on, I really want to have my book.

I want to have it published.

I want to have it.

I think it was published.

But you wanted the physical copy.

I want to be here, show it.

And so we've managed it.

We're recording this at the very end of the year.

I've got her on and she came in and I said, leanne, so where's your book?

She's like, I got it.

But anyway, I'm going to bring you one anyway.

Yeah, let's talk about it.

So Olive the octopus.

Yeah, just the name just makes me melt.

How did she come about?

How did it all come about?

So originally I was a friend of mine.

She had.

She thought about doing keyrings with crystals in them, and they were like little animal keyrings.

And I'd said, oh, I really want to do some children's meditation, so maybe I could write them and they could go with the key rings.

As started them writing these children's meditations, they kind of just evolved, you know, almost like a download.

My creative brain kicked in and then I created one character after another and then the stories just sort of flow.

And I remember I was going on holiday with Sophie and our girls and I was sat by the pool and they were just.

I was just writing, writing, writing.

And I must have written them all within a week.

And they were quite the simplified version of Oracle Olive.

Now, the other ones are quite more in depth, but they'll need, like, simplifying because I wanted the age range to be around five to seven.

Okay, nice.

Obviously younger if it's being read to them.

But why.

Why choose that age range?

Just because, I don't know that.

I guess the nature of the story and the way it's been written, I think it's suited to, like, a younger child.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I think a lot goes in between.

That's the reason why I asked between 5 and 7, it's such a base as well, because they really start to progress and mature, I would say from like eight.

I saw a massive change in Nina.

From eight to now ten.

Yeah.

That all the things that are seeping in at a younger age sort of shape and condition when that growth happens.

So I think it's a beautiful age to target, you know?

Well, they say nought to seven, isn't it?

It's when your personality is.

Is.

Is formed.

Not that it can't be fixed, it can't be changed, but it's.

No, it's like super fixed.

But they say that's.

That's when the, the most important time of.

Well, things that happen to you.

Yeah.

Then potentially could revisit you in later life if you're not able to deal with them.

So whatever.

Whatever things you experience in that age or what you're exposed to will have a.

An impact, I guess, on your.

On Your.

The way that you see the world, I guess.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, yeah, it was really just about wanting to get them as young as possible at that learning age and.

And have them read about crystals and having their own power and.

Tell me more about Olive.

Yeah, so.

So.

So, yeah, anyways, with regards to the.

The collaboration that didn't work out, but then I said, well, I'll take my book, and obviously you carry on with your project.

So, yeah, so Olive is the first book that has been released, and she is sort of the character that funnels through, I think, all of them but one.

I think there's one book that she's not in, but she's sort of the string that strings them all together.

So it is a series.

So because she is called the Oracle, and it's her grandmother that passed down a treasure chest of crystals to her and these crystals that.

That have special energy.

Anyone that knows about crystals, and I'm not super well up on.

On all of my crystals, but I know a little bit about them, and I've incorporated a crystal in each one of the stories, and it all has a meaning behind it.

So Olive, this first book is about her discovering her powers and the power of the crystals, I guess.

Like to show you that.

And we were just saying earlier about the.

The podcast, and you're saying, what do you want to talk about?

And it was literally just this morning I was lying in bed and I was thinking, yeah, I really do want to talk about the books.

And.

And you know what they mean.

And.

And what message?

And that they have a positive message for children, but actually the message is for everyone.

Yeah, exactly.

And each one of the stories symbolizes the.

The message that is in them.

It symbolizes something that has happened to me in my life.

And starting with Olive.

Olive discovers that.

That she has these.

This power within her, and it's.

She discovers it at school when two catfish are fighting.

And she really doesn't like anyone fighting.

I guess I'm not just Olive.

I'm sort of in every character.

Yeah.

So, but I guess, yeah, it's Olive that wants to help everybody, but then there's elements.

So each other character has elements of me in it as well.

So.

Yeah, so Olive just really doesn't like anyone fighting.

She doesn't want, like, anyone getting hurt.

And she feels hurt in her hand when I know she has three hats, which I've actually not mentioned in the book, but that's something that I've mentioned later on.

Yeah, but octopuses.

Yeah.

And, you know, they.

Apparently they Have a brain in each of the tentacles.

Yeah.

Have you seen My Friend the Octopus?

Have you watched it?

My Octopus Teacher is it.

No, it's called My Friend the Octopus.

The documentary.

Yeah.

I thought it was My Octopus Teacher is it?

Yeah, I'm sure it's called My Friend the answer.

I'm not disappointed how amazing it is.

But the whole way through, my husband just kept saying, what is this shit?

What a load.

What am I watching here?

The guy, when he goes diving and makes friends with the ocean, makes friends with it and it, like, wraps its

tentacles around his hands and stuff like that.

Yeah.

He's super, super intelligent beings.

Yeah.

After watching that, my brother refuses to eat octopus.

Which.

Do you eat it?

No.

Is squid the same?

Can't do a squid in your book?

No.

So, yeah, so she.

She basically says, like, sees them in her mind.

And this is all going back to, you know, visualizing what we're exposed to and not wanting anyone to get her, then going back to me standing up and speaking out about, you know, the COVID and vaccines and wanting people to just hang on a minute, step, do a little bit of research before everyone just rushes in.

And.

And, yeah, and she's sort of like, say, stop, stop, stop.

And I feel like that's what I was trying to do.

Yeah, stop, stop, stop.

You know, just.

And I. I'd had visions when I was going through all that, that had a dream once of everyone just walking towards this big hole, and I was, like, outside of the queue shouting at everyone.

It was just, stop.

And it was like everybody was hypnotized and they were all going.

And just dropping into this hole.

Yeah.

And that.

That's like.

Felt like what was happening in the world because people were just doing what they were told to do without questioning it.

But, yeah.

Back to Olive.

So Olive then helps a young fish called Felicity who asked Olive about her powers and says, can I have my own powers?

And Olive says, absolutely, you can have your own powers.

Like, she believes everyone has their own powers, which we do.

And it's just being able to understand what that power is and how to channel it within you.

And how does this book.

How are you gonna try and get this book to reach as many children as possible?

Because it's a crime for it not to be.

Is there a plan?

How do we get it out there?

My little podcast isn't gonna change the world, but I will certainly shout about it to everybody, like, what's the plan here?

Because is this has really got to be seen.

This could make a Huge impact on so many people's lives.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, at the minute, it is on Amazon and I've just done the self.

The publishing on there, but I think I'm working on the next book, which is about a mermaid who loses her confidence.

How do we get you on Lorraine and.

Yeah, well, maybe we can do that.

Yes.

Lorraine, listening.

Yeah.

You're not an agent.

No, I feel like I would be a great agent for you.

I feel I would be like.

We've talked with spoilers.

We have, we have.

I'm open for that, honestly.

But, yeah, no, it's.

I would do more TV work as well.

I mean, I'm not saying I won't go back on Housewives now.

No.

But, yeah, I would strictly.

Strictly if.

Listening.

Yeah.

I think you've done a lot of groundwork, haven't you, to get to this place now, of feeling just.

To me, you seem like.

Like the best version of.

Of yourself right now.

And you've come a.

A long way and through lots of paths.

So I feel like now is the time for you to just.

Just go for it.

Yeah.

You know, it's.

I mean, remember the conversation we had?

And I mean, the, The.

The beginning this year.

I mean, the last few years have been really, really tough for me and you know, being like, leaving WES.

Marriage of 25 years and obviously with the kids, and the kids are growing up now, and Halle and Lilia actually live together now in a little flat, and that's been another transition, you know?

Cause obviously it was.

Lilia was at home with Lola and now Lola's just with me, which is lovely.

And I love the fact that now it's just me and her at home because now we have that time as well.

How old's Lola?

14.

14.

Okay.

So it's not like she'll be moving out anytime soon.

Yeah.

God, I hope not.

But, yeah, so it's been.

And obviously the financial situation I've been in, and that has been huge, like, a huge lesson for me, but

that's a great way to put it.

Yeah.

Trauma, but a huge lesson.

Leanne, you could have just lay down and just gone, I just can't do this, you know.

But you've not.

You've.

You know, you've massively coming out of it.

Yeah, well, I mean, from the beginning of me starting to do things for myself, meaning, like start little businesses and do things that started before I left, because in the back of my mind, it's like.

Well, one, I've always felt like it hasn't been Even though we've had all this money and I. I don't get me wrong, I didn't want for anything.

You know, if I wanted to buy something, I could buy it.

And.

But there was always an element of, like, I wasn't the one going out to work and earning it and.

Yeah.

Sort of fulfillment.

Yeah.

In your life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I mean, I think I was reminded of it at times, you know, and I guess that left an impact on me and maybe coming from, like, where I came from, you know, it probably just in the back of my subconscious, you know, I really wanted to have my own money and earn my own money, I guess, and have something for myself because, you know, you have children and you pour everything into having your children.

And I was lucky enough to be in that position that I didn't have to work at that time, but there was always something.

I still wanted something for me.

And even though I remember, and I talk about this a lot, when I used to go to the.

The WAG thing.

Yeah, the WAG thing left a big impact as well, because there was a massive thing about, you know, I'm married to a footballer, but I've got my own money, and even though I've got kids, like, I've got my own career.

And there was a big thing about that.

So I would almost feel ashamed to say I wasn't working.

I was just.

I would say, just a mom.

Yeah.

And.

And it is a.

Of the.

The most important job that you can ever do exactly, by, you know, being there for children.

And part of me wishes that I hadn't been so focused on building something up so quickly.

And I feel like, again, this is why I'm saying about.

It's nice that me and Lola have got that time now because I feel like, you know, they say everybody's.

Everybody's childhood is very different from the siblings because of their.

The phase of life that you're in.

That's right.

That's right.

Yeah.

So.

And Lola had a very different experience than Hallie did and even Lilia, because when Lola was born, like when she was 2, I started doing Housewives, and then I wasn't present, and I wasn't present because the phones as well, and checking my phone, like, filming, talking, like it consumed me.

If I wasn't talking about the show, if I wasn't filming, if I wasn't talking about the cast members looking at my phone, at what everyone had said about me, what the newspaper said or the articles, and.

And.

And I remember Lola saying to me, mummy, Mummy, mummy, mummy, all the time.

And I would, this will haunt me forever.

And even now she said, well, you're still on your phone all the time.

And, and she makes a massive thing of like, well, we've had a bit of a thing lately and, and I think because she's with me intensely now and I'm working as well and my working day, even if I work at home, it doesn't finish till 5 o' clock and I'll pick up, up from school and I'm still on my phone, but I'm the kind of person, I think when you work from home as well.

And because I've got other projects going on as well as working for Sarah at the club that I work with, it never stops.

And then I, I need to have that switch off point.

And I know it's caused trauma to her of not me not being present.

And like I said, that will, that will always, always affect me, always make me feel sad for the fact that I wasn't able to be there 100%.

But now you are and you do have that time together.

She'd argue like, still busy, still on my phone.

But I'm like, I'm still trying to build myself up to not have to worry about money.

I want financial freedom again.

What I always think though, and I had, when both of mine were little and it used to be bath time and I used to be replying to emails and replying to clients while in a bath and it was just constant.

And then I got my business coach and he really helped shape strict schedules for me.

And you know, eight o', clock, once the kids are down, I sort of go into the office or go somewhere quiet to work and they'd have to realize that that particular time is for me to work.

But otherwise I had, they had my full attention and the client can wait and the can wait and actually it can wait.

It's just that I'm so proactive and I just deal with things straight away, but nobody's gonna die.

It's all gonna be.

If you just leave it an hour after you and I have spoken.

Me and Nina are going to do a quick, a quick podcast and she's got questions that she wants to ask me and I've got questions that I'm going to ask her, but I know a couple of hers are about things I'm going to ask her, you know, is there anything that you would change about our family life?

I'm gonna, we're gonna go a bit deep and I just think exactly like you say so much happens.

I know, from, from 0 to 7, but as a child, and I think it would be really interesting, me as a 10 year old if my mum was asking me questions and I think I'd probably be a bit nervous to tell the truth.

To tell the truth, yeah, yeah.

But if she had have asked me, it could have potentially changed a whole direction, you know, So I think I'm quite in.

I feel quite emotional about things that she's going to ask me.

But anyway, let's see, let's see.

Yeah, I mean, it's like so nice that you're able to do that and have that relationship as well.

And I think, I think it's really important and it's beautiful that you can give your children a voice like that and allow them to express themselves exactly like you say.

I would have been.

I mean, sometimes we're having this conversation before when I say to the girls, oh, Lola, especially at the minute, I think again, she's 14, she's going through that hormonal stage.

Lilia was in it for about six years and I really struggled to like, speak to her and.

And because I was, as I was going through the transition, I'd left, whereas.

And I was living on my own in the middle of nowhere and the girls were staying with me that much and I felt heartbroken that they were my girls.

So I would play the victim in a sense and want them to feel guilty and I felt unloved and that then, obviously, then brings me back to the abandonment with my dad and everything, and it's having that awareness of all of that.

But my girls speak to me like shit sometimes and then they make me aware of when I speak to my mum like shit, you know, because my mum triggers me and winds me up sometimes, but she's amazing.

How do you feel that when you grew up, girls sort of aren't respectful to you?

Let's say, did you come back at them or do you feel like, do you feel guilty of the past so

you don't say what you should shout back at them, to be honest.

Do you feel like you've got more of a friendship relationship?

Yeah, probably.

Sometimes too much and then they push me too far and then I explode.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then we'll have a little bit of a conversation about it.

And I think what's, what's, what's evolved from, from my relationship with my mum to my relationship now with my kids is that I will always then have a conversation after, you know, if I have lost My temper.

So that's, it's not acceptable and I know I shouldn't have done that and I know the reason that why you're upset or you know, and we sort of.

But with Lola, she's very, she's a Pisces.

She's super emotional.

She's quite manipulative as well and she knows how to twist things.

So whereas if I then back down to her instead of her saying, yeah, you know, I understand what you're saying, I'm sorry too.

She will then take that and she will be like, yeah, you should feel sorry.

And then I'll grab hold of her and then she'll resist me.

And we're quite similar because I'm Aquarius and she's Pisces.

But it's like our birthdays are like six days apart.

So we are quite similar.

And you see yourself and your kids all the time.

But are you like your mum?

Like do you see, do you hear yourself say things like your mum or like mannerisms and they're older.

My mum was like, you'll just, just like, you'll just be like me when you get older.

And my girls go nana.

Oh I do, I do.

But I also hear, I hear myself say things that I think I used to think were pretty cringe when my mum said it and now I say it and I just, just every time I say it I feel so much more, feel so much love towards her,

you know, like, oh my God, that's what that is.

So my mom and I know why she said it now and, and yeah, but obviously all of the, all of the stuff that I have to go, God, Susie stops not to say that

but it makes you understand them more I guess when one thing like the things that come out of your mouth and think, yeah, yeah, but we are just a product of, of our environment and our relationships with our parents.

My mum was a really, you know, she was full time.

She worked for the Ministry of Defense.

She had like a really pressured job and I just saw a lot of.

Now I see it now I see where a lot of my bases come from, I think.

But at the time,

not that I felt that she was a bit cold,

but it was like good cop, dad cop, good cop, bad cop, good cop, bad cop.

And my mum would be the bad cop, my dad would be the good cop.

And you know, she'd make all of the rules and then we'd get upset and we'd go to my dad.

And now I just see she was just doing her best.

She was Doing her best, you know, and we've had loads of conversations about that now and just.

She used to get him from work, she used to make dinner and then she'd make dinner and then she'd.

We'd all eat and then she'd go back in the kitchen and she'd make dinner for the next night.

Night so that it'd be semi prepared for the next night.

It's just so everything would, yeah, keep.

And I would have preferred her to after dinner, like, sit with us and read and chat, but it wasn't, it was always my dad, but she just thought she was doing her best, you know, so.

Yeah, yeah, but who was going to do it if she didn't do it?

Exactly.

And then it just saved her time for the following night, didn't it?

Exactly.

My mum worked three jobs when, because when my dad left when I was 13 and she was never at home because she had to work to make sure that we.

Well, because she wanted to keep the house that we lived in and she didn't want to change her life and, and I guess she loved where we lived and, and I was so grateful to her and I think that's why I was so grateful that I didn't have to go to work with when I had my girls.

Yeah, because she had to.

And.

Yeah.

But then obviously I did end up working before the girls turned 13.

It's funny though, memories, just, even just telling that story about my mum because I know she'll listen to this podcast and there's things like my mum didn't work for until I went to school, so she was at home, she used to do crafts with us.

Like she had, we had that wonderful period and like, as a grandma now, she's just, just, she's phenomenal, like, she's just incredible.

So.

But sometimes you forget those.

It's like we were talking to Benjamin the other day and Benjamin always, he always brings up these little memories.

Do you remember when you shouted at me for doing this?

Or do you remember that time when we went to Portugal and you got upset with me and I go, benjamin,

do you only remember bad things?

The little bad things, like, are we bad parents?

And he was like, no, no.

And I was like, yeah, when he

ever brings those things up and it just, it does just stick, doesn't it?

Because I guess like when the majority of the time is beautiful and, and happy and joyous.

Yeah, it's the, it's the core memories that, that are usually the traumatic ones, isn't it?

But yeah, I Think when, when my dad died, obviously I didn't have a relationship with him for.

I didn't see him for like, well, not 20, 20 years and, well, about 17 years.

And I used to always just think about what he'd done to my mum and him being abusive and, you know, when he left and stuff like that.

And it was only when he passed away that I really.

And then obviously the old pictures came up and I seen a picture of me and my dad and we were on holiday and.

And it flooded all the beautiful memories I had of him.

And maybe it's sad that it took for him to pass away.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

I mean, he wasn't a great.

He was a good dad when we were younger but then obviously things went bad between him and my mum and he ended up leaving.

But I remember him like making a fuss over me when I was doing my gymnastics competitions.

But I feel like he only probably went to a couple of competitions.

My mum went to every single one of them.

She was the one that took me to the training every day.

He was working away, but then on holiday I remember him like throwing me up in the air in the pool and me doing somersaults and I was a real daddy's girl.

But I think because he was absent so much and he was working away.

It's my mum, the day to day stuff, that she was there solidly for me.

You kind of disregard that and it's quite.

As a woman, you understand it when you have your own children, don't you?

Exactly.

And my kids, well, they will understand it when they have their own kids, but until then, and even when you first have them, it still doesn't, I think only get into this age now and you think, wow, the realisation of how amazing your mum is.

Exactly.

Yeah, I do, I do.

But both of my parents, I often feel them like when my mum was left over from Portugal was like, let's get you on the podcast where we just did it, sort of makeshift, but just listening to her and I was asking her things that we hadn't spoken about before and you know, she grew up in orphanages and foster homes and I was asking her things that I know she's always found hard to talk about, but because we sort of had microphones, I just thought.

And I was like, mum, can I ask you anything?

She's like, ask me anything.

And I found things out that just, you know, and you're like, right, I get it.

I get why you are the way you are sometimes.

And it was fascinating and with my dad, I constantly set the phone up while my dad can talk really, really well.

And I just set my phone up and I just.

It's sad, but I always think I'm doing this to watch back one day and to replay, you know, because I know.

I know we won't be here forever.

And I just want to capture all those incredible moments.

I never want to forget them, you know, because it is easy to forget.

Yeah.

So just going on to your.

And I didn't realize this, and forgive me for not realizing this, and when we went for a drink together and we were talking about podcast and you were saying that you had a podcast.

So I've done a bit of deep diving into it.

So love, peace, truth, karma.

Yeah.

How did it come about?

And has it been taken off?

No, it's still there, isn't it?

Oh, it's still there.

Oh, I didn't even.

I was just looking in your highlights.

Oh, no, no, it's still there.

Right.

I got a couple of podcasts taken down.

That's right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So why, what were you talking about?

To get things taken down.

Oh, very controversial.

I started my podcast just after.

When all the madness is going on and the lockdowns and I.

So let me start from.

From the beginning.

The.

The awareness of.

Of when life changed.

Like, I didn't look at the world the same again.

It was, first of all, my boobs.

That was what sparked my questions, I guess because I'd had my implants and I was looking to get them replaced because one of them had encapsulated again, I was in a bit of pain with them and I just felt like I had.

Well before I realized why I wasn't feeling right, I just got a dm.

That's the universe.

To send you these messages.

A DM from some random woman talking about breast implant illness.

Okay.

And I just started researching into it and I was about to get them replaced.

And then what I found was just crazy.

So, so many women had had all these different symptoms and putting them down to all different things because a lot of it, you couldn't just, you know, fatigue.

Yeah.

Fibromyalgia, dry eyes, recurring colds, just feeling like.

Like poorly, I guess, and.

And allergies.

There's so many different things.

And I tick so many of these boxes.

And I thought, maybe it's my implants.

And when I started looking at those platforms where women were actually having explants and.

And then now there's doctors in America that only do expanse.

They will not put implants in because they know that how it can affect you.

So what's an explant to take them out?

Oh yeah.

So not an implant, an explant.

So.

So you're.

You're just having them removed basically because they come with a black box warning now apparently implants.

But you go to the consultation and they just show you the implant.

Yeah.

I mean they could be safe for some women and they can have them in for years and.

And when I first had my mind done, I was told that they last a lifetime.

Then I had them done again.

I was told 20 years, 10 to.

But everybody's different and everybody's body reacts different.

And I started looking into medical medium.

Have you heard of him?

And he is.

He discovered he had a talent for seeing illnesses on people.

Yeah.

Almost like X ray in them.

And he did it first when he was 4 years old with his grandma.

I've heard of table.

Yeah.

And he realized that she'd had, I think she was lung cancer.

And he said somebody.

He had a visual of like somebody coming down the stairs behind her.

Then he didn't.

There was no stairs behind him at the dinner table and stood behind him to his grandma and then told him.

And then he told, he said it out loud in front of everybody and then she went to get checked and he was true obviously.

So he obviously then spent his life trying to help people.

But he would be on a coach and he'd see people going on a tangent here.

He'd literally see people than being poorly.

And when he was younger, when he was like 12, 13, he would go up to them and say this is wrong with you.

Please go to the doctors.

And they just thought it was mental.

Yeah.

So he really fascinating, fascinating man.

And he talks a lot.

I started reading his book and because he was.

It was recommended through the implant community and then he talked a bit about implants and how when we have anything in our body that's this obviously put in there that's not natural.

Your liver then sends enzymes to reject it, get rid of it.

So they make, they break it down.

The enzymes break it down and make it porous which then it can go into your body.

And when you actually the analyzation of implants and all the different ingredients that have come up on them, whether it's been picked up from or it's actually put in them like arsenic, paint stripper, fertilizer, all kind of crazy, all metal metals in them.

And all these women that had had so many different, different illnesses.

So top and bottom.

I started Then thinking, well, if the FDA can approve implants.

So I had them out and I felt so much better as soon as I'd had them out.

Yeah, I have a problem with my hip and it is a hormonal thing, but obviously implant.

The implants, I think were making it worse.

That went away.

We're obviously going through the menopause now.

It does flare up a little bit, but nowhere near as it was my allergies.

I would sneeze all year round even when it wasn't.

There was no hay fever or whatever.

I just felt better overall, you know.

So then my daughter Hallie had the first hpv.

And then I got offered the flu vaccine for Liliya and I'd asked Jean, who was the one woman at a time for Honda, she's an ex midwife.

And she said, said if you drop a thermometer on the floor, you would probably have to get a hazard.

It's got mercury in it.

You'd have to get a hazard team to come and remove it.

She said, well, the flu vaccine has mercury in it, so I wouldn't be willingly wanting to put that in my child.

And so then that made me think, okay, so if that's for the flu vaccine, then what about the other vaccines which I'd give my children when they were younger?

I was told that vaccines were good and that you get them and because they're going to make you healthy and just didn't even think to question it, the hpv.

So I said no to the flu vaccine, hpv.

Hallie had one of them and then the second one had come round and obviously then for Lilia as well.

And I just started researching, I just started looking into it and understanding what the ingredients were, what the risks were, how many girls had been vaccine injured, what studies have been done.

And it just blew me away.

There was something called Gardy Cell girls.

I don't think Gardy Cell is actually in the vaccine now, but there was a whole page of young girls in America that had like brain injuries from, from having the vaccine.

And then, then finding out that Bill Gates had actually gone over with this vaccine, the hpv into India and vaccine agent vaccine injured so many girls because they were doing the trials over there.

And then like weeks later, Covid was rife and.

And Bill Gates was the savior who was going to create a vaccine.

Who Apparently a computer programmer, which I don't even think is that when you research him, like, when you really look at the facts about where he's come from.

And I just started.

Like, my mind was blown.

Like, I just started doing more research and started looking at things and then I just started sharing what I was finding.

And I think everyone just started.

Fear.

Fear was projected on the news constantly.

And I just didn't have any fear attached to Covid at all.

You know, some people then, oh, in the beginning, I was a bit scared and I was just like, this is.

It's just a flu.

Yeah.

Cause you'd done all that research just before on other topics.

Then when this came around, you were

just like, my mind was just blown that.

Did you feel like.

This is how my mum puts it.

Did you feel like the only sane woman with a group of mad people?

Yeah.

She always just says, suze, even today she says, I feel like the only sane person on the top of a hill screaming out to just a bunch of mad people.

And people look at me like I'm the mad woman.

Where, you know, I feel like I'm the only.

Oh, no.

The only sane one in the asylum.

That's what she said.

That's how she puts it.

And it was.

It was scary, like, actually putting yourself out there.

And, you know, I've.

I've got nothing against anyone that, you know, went and had it because there was so much pressure put on people.

And at the time, I almost got a little bit.

Bit angry because I got.

So I was literally down every rabbit hole.

And I'm talking like, every rabbit hole.

And I'm not going to go into, like, the podcast talks a little bit about the depths of what that is.

If you look at things like Carly Spell is on there and she talks all about the power of words.

And there's actually a book called Word Magic, and it's the etymology.

Etymology of words.

And being surrounded by different people, by going to the protests and being in these groups, groups and how it was.

So it was so thankful that I found these people because it was.

It was like being part of a movement, if you will, being able to obviously have conversations, because if I hadn't had that and I hadn't found them people, I can understand why.

Why you would feel like you were going absolutely crazy.

Just for context, my mum, while it was all happening, she was.

She was literally her.

Her house in Portugal, it's on, like a little hill, so very little neighbors.

You sort of, you know, it's a long way to get a neighbor.

So she was there having to isolate.

But knowing, you know, that this for her opinion, for my opinion, your opinion, that it was all just absolute crazy stuff and she was doing her own research and she really, it massively affected her.

And then she found a group of like hippies and they picked her up and she was on this bus and they were all there singing John Lennon and then they went to a protest and she just finally felt like she could, she could breathe and she wasn't, she wasn't going mad.

But yeah, I'm glad you found that.

It takes, it takes a lot to be able to have the courage, I guess to stand up and do that.

And it's like the FGM thing, you know, the women that, that have pushed their children into doing it because they're so fearful of being ostracized and to be able to do that, like, I salute.

I mean, some people have known about all this stuff that's, that's been planned for over 20 years and been talking about it and they must have been such a minority.

And you know, I get it, people, people did die.

But what I always say is when you look at the mass manipulation, we talk about how easily the mind can be controlled.

And if you actually look at the history that the tests that have been done and this has all been documented and I believe that it's all the TVs, the biggest mind control device that's been invented.

But have you ever seen any of the videos of people being in a waiting room, A doctor's waiting room?

There's a group of people, somebody walks in and the buzzer goes off and everyone stands up and the person that's just walked in in stays sitting down.

This is, this is like the psychology of why people got so sucked in and stay sitting down and then they'll sit back down and the, the person that's walked in is like looking around thinking what is going on here?

And it'll beep again and everybody will stand up and sit down and then he'll still look around.

On the third or fourth buzzer, the person that sat down that's just walked in will get up with everybody.

And that is a total explanation of how easy it is to control the human mind for sure.

And I do think now going a bit woo, woo.

I started reading about Dolores Canon and you know, she talks about, she does a lot of the past life aggressions and the quantum healing and the belief that we've been here before and there is different Soul contracts that we have.

And I'm of the belief that they say 144,000 angels are descendant on the earth to raise the consciousness of humanity.

And that's to help whatever's going on now.

You know, not.

Not tilt to the.

To the.

To the dark side, I guess.

Yeah.

And we have been in.

In the Bronze Age, and we are coming out of that, and we're coming into the age of Aquarian, which is a much higher frequency.

And if you look at the.

The situation with COVID if you think about how controlled the world has been by the 1%, and that has massively woke people up, even if you went and had it and you thought that you were doing the right.

Not sit here and.

And not question a single thing that went on.

I know there is some people.

Yeah, but don't you find, though, that a lot of people that went and had the job and, you know, fiercely defended it?

You know, especially I was saying to friends, why.

You know, and they go, well, why not Susie, give me some.

You know, you just think.

And those friends now have come out and, you know, we'll be having a few drinks and they'll.

They're suddenly, oh, I only did it to travel.

Yeah.

And this.

That could.

Because they are hearing things and they are, you know, learning a lot more about it.

And their.

Their attitude has completely changed as to.

Yeah, I just had it.

I just had it to travel because they realize it was a load of.

Yeah, well, flu.

Well, flu disappeared.

Yeah, flu can kill, right?

That's right.

If you're.

You're immune, compromise, compromised.

You know, the flu can be like catastrophic.

But we've got a flu vaccine.

Yeah, there's still flu.

We've just had a distribution of flu throughout all of the schools.

Yeah.

What's on the news now?

Yeah, there's a flu pandemic.

Well, people still got covered after they had the jam.

And I tried to explain four, five,

six times and it's still been given to them.

Yeah, it's actually mental.

I've actually just sent a letter to school, an email to school, and I didn't say, I don't send Lola in.

When there's vaccines being distributed like the flu vaccine.

And I will say this, and I think it's disgusting.

The coercive, the coercion that goes on in schools is actually quite scary because with the HPV vaccine, they know my stance on it.

I've said categorically, she's not having it.

She went to school.

And if I'd have known that they would do this.

Like, I would.

I would have took her out.

Yeah.

I mean, thankfully, she's only got a year and a half left.

But they called everybody out, they march everyone down to the medical.

Even if you've said, my daughter's not having it.

And they line them all up and this is from Lola and a couple of her friends and they called, go down the line one by one, the nurse, and they ask them why you not have.

If they say, put the hand up, say, I'm not having it, they will belittle them in front of everyone and say, why are you not having it?

Do you know you're not going to be able to work in a shop if you don't have it.

No, you're not.

You might have cancer, you might get.

But they told Lola, Lola's.

One of Lola's friends, a boy was told he might get pole.

He was going to get bowel cancer if he didn't have the vaccine in front of everyone.

And he ended up having it in the end.

Yeah, that's the.

That's the.

That was the battle with Benjamin especially.

They.

Everybody else is getting.

Mum, I am going to look so stupid.

And I had to give him some real hard truths, you know, but, you know, the whole.

In life, a lesson in life, don't just do things because other people are doing it.

But Benjamin, you are going to thank me one day.

Just don't go there.

So now, now he doesn't say that, but, yeah, they are.

They are made to feel bad.

I.

Somebody that used to work with me, actually, her fiance is.

He owns like a GP with it.

There's a few partners in him and even she said the target sales that they need to make in terms of the vaccinations.

And I was like, serious, they have a target.

Target sales for vaccinations.

And she was like, yeah, it's really bad, isn't it?

I was like, it's business.

It's not just bad, that's horrendous.

Horrendous.

It's not health care, Susie, it's sick care because it's a system and they want to keep you sick.

I mean, have you just heard about.

They've banned turkey tail mushrooms and reishi mushrooms.

Apparently they're banned now.

They're banned.

They've.

They've put a ban on them.

Because they're so good for you.

Because they're so good for you.

Yeah.

And you only have to look at the.

I mean, it's just common sense, isn't it?

The fact that in Covid.

They told you to stay in, they told you to wear a mask, they told you to fear the sunlight, they told you to not touch anybody.

It's just disassociation from, you know, to take away identities, to take away children were able to see people's faces.

So the development of children would have been impacted in that time, which I believe it is.

And then the Prime Minister's having parties.

Yeah.

Full well.

Knowing that it's not as serious as it's being made out to be.

If he did.

Because he would have a lot of inside information.

If he genuinely, genuinely knew it was as terrifying as we were being told.

Of course there wouldn't be a massive group of people doing that.

But they knew.

Of course they knew.

And we're all just that, that just.

Oh, gosh.

I know.

It's, it's, it's a shame.

And the, the, the, the, the backlash that I got when I first posted about the HPV vaccine and it was a picture of my three girls just basically saying, I've decided not to vaccinate my daughters for the hpv.

This, the reasons are because I've done some more deeper research and I'm not just following the narrative of they're safe and effective and understood more about actually all of it, the ingredients and the, the studies and, and, and I've read, I read papers and, and all sorts.

Oh, you're not a doctor.

But the backlash that I got, you know, from, from nurses and it was just mental.

It was just mental.

And I lost probably about.

That's when I had quarter of a million followers on my page.

I must have lost about 5, 000 followers.

Wow.

Straight away.

But I think a lot of people, they'd rather turn the blind eye and live in ignorance.

It's so much easier to do if

you actually see what I've seen or what we've seen.

You actually, your whole world, it kind of falls apart, doesn't it?

Because everything you've been led to believe, the government has got your interests at heart and the medical industry only wants to, to keep you healthy and, and don't get me wrong, you know, all credit to nurses and doctors.

If I had some sort of trauma or I need to go in hospital for completely.

You know, but even cancer, you know, when we talk about cancer, there's cancer research.

For all of the years it's been going, why have we not found a cure?

Because there's already a cure.

They don't want to find a cure.

They just want to keep pumping Money into it.

And anything that actually comes up that is natural as a cure is disregarded.

And I'm blown away by how little there is about holistic healing with cancer research.

With cancer.

Sorry.

Even this simple method of fasting.

Yeah.

You know, fasting and how that can start to eat away at cancer cells.

And go and fast for two or three days and then we'll do this, then we'll introduce.

Produce, you know, the first thing they should.

That's the first thing.

And it's.

Why isn't that being said?

Yeah.

Just know.

Let's straight away, let's.

Let's go and pump you with a load of chemicals.

Chemicals, radiation.

Oh, it's.

It's scary.

First of all, the biopsy, though, the biopsy is what nicks the tumor because the body obviously.

And I know more about this because of Sophie, my business partner with the retreats.

Yeah.

And she had cancer.

Pancreatic.

Pancreatic tumor she had removed and then she got secondary liver cancer and obviously 12 months later.

So she fasted for 10 days, went back for a scan, it completely gone.

So she's in her second pregnancy now.

She's got no spleen, she's got the head of a pancreas, she's got part of a bowel removed.

But she isn't on any medication.

She manages everything with food.

And the biopsy, actually the first thing that they want to do is basically puncture a hole in the.

The tumor which is your body protecting itself.

That's right.

Because it's trying to contain the poison and this.

And there's so many different factors why cancer happens as well.

Yeah.

It's like your life, like how healthy you are, what you're eating and.

And you know, what you're exposed to, but also on an energetic level, what you've been exposed to, what's your environment, what.

And that's where obviously the energetic reasoning comes behind what.

What has happened in your life that's caused trauma.

For you to store that energy in the area and it all.

You can actually, you could probably fast for four days.

But if you've not dealt with the issue that may have caused that, that stagnant energy, that trauma that's happened, then the potential that you could.

It could come back or not go away completely.

I fully believe that Earth provides a remedy for healing, for everything.

It's just that we're unaware of it.

Exactly.

And rocket is it Rockefeller or Rothschilds invented the medical industry.

That's right.

That's why we're called witches.

That's right.

There was herbs and remedies and all the things, the medicine that we used, and the reason why people obviously died back then was because we didn't have the sanitation.

Cleanliness.

Yeah.

And when you look at the history, there's a really good book, anyone that's open to actually researching a bit more into it.

It's called Dissolving Illusions by Susan Humphries.

And that shows the history of smallpox and how it was eradicated naturally because the sanitation had improved.

They say it was because of a vaccine.

If you look at the vaccine, how they actually administered it and what they got it from, it's horrific, it's actually mental.

But all of this, we can speak about it to you blue in your face, but if somebody that's watching is not ready to see it 100%, they're never going to see it, you know, and I'll talk.

My mum's got in a friendship group, I should say this, but they have very different opinions on life and they obviously gone ahead and.

And had vaccines and one of them's husband's actually just passed away.

Yeah.

And, yeah, it's really.

It's really taught.

I feel bad sorry for my mum, in a sense, when she's almost.

And I've had it as well, where you're in different friendship groups and you feel like you've got to hold your tongue or not be able to speak, like, about certain things because the subject has changed.

And that's been a big thing for me, like feeling shut down, like, through my life and not being able to say things that I wanted to.

And I think that that's one of my taglines on the Housewives was I've found my voice and I'm not afraid to use it.

And that was about, obviously, my relationship with Dawn.

But it obviously, that doing that and speaking out on that on the show was just setting me up for actually being able and having the courage and confidence to speak out about what was going on in the world 100%.

And the more.

If you'd have stayed there and stayed in that bubble, your mind would have still been expanded because you would have still been, you know, you would have been learning about all these things and you would have felt so trapped.

And now, like me, you go into these, what you're part of, incredible networking group, but you meeting different people, you're making new friends and right now you get to choose the friends that you really connect with and that you can talk openly about.

These things, we've all got those friends.

And, you know, I was talking to Lindsay about this, about new friends and old friends and having to let go of different friends, even best friends.

But it's liberating to actually do that and then find these new, incredible people that you can just freely talk about, you know, things like this.

So, yeah, you have that friend in me.

Yeah, for sure.

You got a friend in me.

You got a friend in me.

That's it.

You said.

I can't remember there.

What is it?

Toy Story.

Toy Story, yeah.

Okay, so how does the Leanne sitting with me today differ from the woman you were five years ago?

Okay, so five years ago, where was I five years ago?

Just I'd left Housewives.

Yeah.

So

I think I was just on the beginning of the journey, I guess, of.

Of discovering myself, self discovery.

And.

And I've been separated now three.

Well before.

Four years in.

In March.

How would you describe yourself in a nutshell back then?

If you were to say Leanne five years ago, was.

Was she scared?

Was she determined?

Was she strong?

Was she.

How were you back then?

So I was on a quest.

Yeah, I was on a quest of self discovery, and it sort of started when I left the show, but it was when I knew that I was in a relationship that I could no longer stay in, and I knew I had to make really big decisions, and I was scared, but mostly I was scared about staying.

Well, you were scared.

Yeah.

But you were very brave, too.

Leanne back then was incredibly brave for what you did.

You know, if you put it like that, if you'd have stayed scared, you wouldn't have ever left and you wouldn't have ever gone on this quest.

So Leanne, back then, five years ago, brave on a quest, strong.

Yeah.

You know, even at the time, you probably didn't feel like it, but you were, weren't you?

Yeah.

When I think back when I started, when I left the show and then went on this, like when I've written the first my journal talking about soul searching and.

And going to Kenya and.

And me thinking, oh, yeah, I'd say I found myself now and I spoke about it and, And.

And each step I've taken has just taught me that.

One step deeper and.

And on a deeper understanding, I guess, an awareness of myself, and then I'll get to another point and then I'll feel like actually still got more to go.

I feel like it never ends, though, does it?

Well, that's.

That's the beauty of it.

But in the beginning, so this Was So that was five years ago.

Yeah.

And then I think this year has been a massive shift again, like a huge shift in the beginning of the year because I got to the point where, yeah, we were doing the retreats and you know, we were doing them quite regular in the beginning and they were sort of just tidying over and giving me a bit of money and.

But we sort of.

We should have built a community first.

But in hindsight we didn't have the facilities and the funds to put behind and advertise like courses and you know, building it like that.

So we went straight into the retreats and.

And then realized that it was a lot more difficult to advertise them and market them when you've got no budget to do that.

So we're just relying on word of mouth and obviously the following that I then tried to build up after getting my account taken down initially and they were going all right, but they weren't enough to sustain being able to afford to live for sure.

And I had to.

I had to just think outside the box and constantly think, how am I going to make money to be able to afford fuel?

And obviously Wes just gave me some money but, you know, I was supporting myself like, you know, bills and day to day and stuff.

And even that it was.

It's a huge struggle realizing of being in that comfort blanket of not having to worry about that ever and living the life that I had to then come coming to earth with a great big bump.

And I mean, I mean it's really.

I had like swimming pools and like big.

A couple of cars to choose from to drive and you know, living, living housekeeper and then to go from that to actually just living in rented accommodation and having to change my car and pay for like even just food and fuel and worrying about how I'm going to do that.

And I was selling everything.

Yeah, I've sold to my girls horror because obviously they probably thought they were going to inherit that jewelry and the diamonds and the bags and things and survival.

I've had to sell it.

And I got to the point the beginning of this year that I didn't.

I'd run out of everything to sell that was really worth any value.

And I just didn't know what I was going to do next.

And also being in menopause, that hit me like, as well as everything that was going on in my life.

And I think mentally I took a real deep dive and I had like a mental.

I just spoke about this on Alyssa's podcast.

The Elsa RA has literally Been amazing.

I've took it for, like, three.

Yeah, well, three.

I'm on, like, the fourth year or something now, and I really feel like that has really helped with all the symptoms.

But I think because of the.

What was going on in my life and the.

And the series of events that had happened, and I just took a massive nose dive mentally.

And I remember I was coming back from being on just a brunch.

It was with Jess.

We were dressed as grannies, and I can't tell you, everything seemed fine.

And I was out and I was chatting and I got a taxi home.

And on the way home, I don't know why, it just come over me so quickly.

It almost just felt like somebody just put a curtain in front of me.

And I just knew when I got home I was gonna.

Something bad was gonna happen.

And I think because I just.

Maybe just being around everyone and just pretending everything's all right.

And in my heart I was thinking, fuck, what am I gonna do next month?

Month?

I've got nothing to sell.

And I just.

I was just.

And I feel really almost.

And I don't.

I know it's the wrong word, but I feel ashamed to think that I was actually.

I didn't want to live like this anymore.

I didn't want to.

I didn't want to have to worry like.

Like I was about every single month.

And I just.

I didn't know what.

I didn't know what to do or where to go.

And I just got in and I started ringing people.

I almost detoured the taxi to go straight to my brother's house.

And I'd rang him.

He didn't answer.

And I got in and.

And I knew a couple of my other close friends, Nikki and Andrew, on a.