Amazing Benefits: Genuine Gratitude in Your Life & Marketing
Episode 16225th November 2022 • Women Conquer Business • Jen McFarland & Shelley Carney
00:00:00 00:43:22

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Jen:

Hello and welcome to the Women Conquer Business Show.

Jen:

I'm Jen McFarland, joined by Shelley Carney.

Jen:

We're your go to small business marketing show.

Jen:

Covering Breaking marketing news that affects you.

Jen:

Cool apps we found, and a how to deep dive into a marketing topic with a

Jen:

side of motivation and inspiration.

Jen:

We'll also talk a little about our own entrepreneurial journeys as well.

Jen:

Are you ready?

Jen:

Let's get started.

Jen:

Yay.

Jen:

Hey, hello and welcome to Women Conquer Business.

Jen:

Today we're going to be, this is pre-recorded on for Thanksgiving Day, and

Jen:

so this is like Jen and Shelley talking about future Jen and Shelley . Today

Jen:

we're gonna be talking about infusing genuine gratitude into your marketing,

Jen:

and I would like to say that one of the things that's really important to.

Jen:

When we're talking about something like genuine and gratitude and marketing,

Jen:

that this is from a wholehearted place that you have to really mean it.

Jen:

So there's no faking it when we talk about infusing genuine

Jen:

gratitude into your marketing.

Jen:

So today we're going to talk about gratitude and how you can talk about

Jen:

gratitude throughout the year, why you should, how it helps your business person.

Jen:

And then how you can share it in your marketing from a space

Jen:

of, as I said, authenticity.

Jen:

And I know that people often talk about authenticity to the place, to

Jen:

the point where it's become almost fake and people roll their eyes at that.

Jen:

That's not where we're coming at for this at all.

Jen:

I've given five day workshops about gratitude and leadership.

Jen:

That's where some of this content is coming from.

Jen:

And then you infuse those genuine feelings into how you talk about your

Jen:

business, how you talk about your colleagues, your clients, everybody.

Jen:

And that's what we're talking about today.

Jen:

We know that many of you are out spending time with your families today.

Jen:

Many of you are resting.

Jen:

Hopefully you're not working, and so we're really excited

Jen:

to share this special edition.

Jen:

Slightly different, less scripted show with you today.

Jen:

So welcome and hey future Shelley.

Jen:

How are you?

Jen:

? Shelley: Well, I'm future Jen.

Jen:

Or are we in the past?

Jen:

I don't know.

Jen:

I know very well.

Jen:

Yeah, I am spending the whole week promoting the content creator stack,

Jen:

so I'm very focused on that right now.

Jen:

I built a big implementation program course, online course over the summer.

Jen:

It took me several months to put it together, and I

Jen:

included that in the info stack.

Jen:

So I'm promoting that and hoping that people find it really, really

Jen:

valuable because normally it's $299, but for the info stack you get.

Jen:

All of these products from all of these creators, especially made for creators,

Jen:

and they're only $49 for the whole thing.

Jen:

So Amazing, amazing, amazing.

Jen:

I can't wait.

Jen:

Oh, I'm doing

Jen:

a long link

Shelley:

about that.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

Can't put it in the chat because future me and past me are not

Shelley:

talking to each other, . Right?

Jen:

You don't know the link yet because we're pre-recording this.

Jen:

So when we know the link and when we have all the information, you

Jen:

do have the link to your live stream that will go out today.

Jen:

That's right.

Jen:

That will share

Shelley:

it.

Shelley:

The description, I just can't sharing that on the screen

Shelley:

like we can comments right now.

Shelley:

But this livecast lifestyle success, the secret to fund fulfilling and

Shelley:

consistent content creation, I will be in a livestream talking about that,

Shelley:

talking about the content creator stack.

Shelley:

I'm really excited about it and I think it's gonna be super cool.

Shelley:

That's been my focus for the entire week.

Jen:

That's amazing.

Jen:

Congratulations.

Jen:

I just think that all of this is so awesome.

Jen:

I'm just so excited for you and . I don't, what are you laughing about?

Jen:

I was trying

Shelley:

to do a, and I didn't change my board and, and I'm like, no, not that

Jen:

great.

Jen:

Good.

Jen:

That's funny.

Jen:

So Shelley's trying to play sounds again.

Jen:

Don't worry, Shelley.

Jen:

We'll, just all.

Jen:

Okay.

Jen:

No, I think that that's really awesome.

Jen:

I'll do what I can.

Jen:

I don't know what I'll be doing at 4:00 PM Mountain Time for me,

Jen:

that's 3:00 PM in Pacific Time.

Jen:

Oh.

Jen:

On this day in the future that I can't, I don't know the date.

Jen:

That's so funny.

Jen:

I was gonna say on November 19th, but no, that's today

Jen:

when we're recording this show.

Shelley:

Yeah, it'll be on Thanksgiving Day.

Shelley:

In fact, the 24th.

Jen:

So the 24th.

Jen:

So on November 24th, that's today.

Jen:

Make sure that you listen or watch.

Jen:

I guess it's on YouTube, but a lot of people I know actually post, put

Jen:

the YouTube link up and then listen.

Jen:

They don't necessarily watch everything.

Jen:

Yeah, we can do that.

Jen:

So be sure that you do that.

Jen:

Be sure that you give that a shot.

Jen:

As for me and what I've been working on at the tail end of last week,

Jen:

that was on November 18th, we had an epiphany courses community social hour.

Jen:

It was great.

Jen:

It was marketing, laser coaching.

Jen:

So people would come and just say, I'm struggling with this.

Jen:

And and I love that where people just come and ask me questions and we workshop it.

Jen:

I believe that for epiphany courses, that's what I'm working on.

Jen:

We're working on what's the future holds for that community and

Jen:

we are going to infuse it with more opportunities like that.

Jen:

People come and they get some laser coaching.

Jen:

I think we're gonna do that twice a week or twice a month.

Jen:

And then some infuse some trainings into that.

Jen:

So it's a very exciting time at epiphany courses.

Jen:

We've been in beta, I think just about long enough, and now we're

Jen:

going to make it into something bigger and more expensive.

Jen:

, if you wanna get in on epiphany courses and join at a lower.

Jen:

Cost.

Jen:

I would suggest going to epiphany courses.com and signing up for

Jen:

your free trial so that you can get in before we raise the rates.

Shelley:

Do we have any news,

Jen:

so marketing breaking news.

Jen:

We don't usually share bad news.

Jen:

We've been really good.

Jen:

I think about saying this is what's going on.

Jen:

Most of the time it's not bad, but I will say that when I saw this headline,

Jen:

I was really deeply irritated, , because Facebook meta irritates me sometimes,

Jen:

and I think it's important to share it.

Jen:

There had been a rash among people in my business community.

Jen:

And in my marketing groups on Facebook saying, is this valid?

Jen:

Is this real?

Jen:

Just of all these accounts that just seem to have been their business

Jen:

pages, different accounts seeming like they had been hijacked.

Jen:

The truth is, they had been . So meta has disciplined or fired dozens of employees

Jen:

for taking over user accounts, hijacking them compromising accounts in some cases.

Jen:

Employees and contractors were accepting bribes to take over accounts.

Jen:

And it was all done.

Jen:

I think this is kind of hilarious.

Jen:

The hijacking was reportedly done through an internal tool known as, oops.

Jen:

So this was a tool that when people were getting locked out of their accounts or

Jen:

they were having issues, that it was part of how they would fix accounts and people

Jen:

were abusing that to take over accounts.

Jen:

So all of which is to say, Probably people were being locked out of their

Jen:

accounts due to these nefarious actions.

Jen:

And we were always, I was always telling people, don't pay attention to that.

Jen:

Just ignore it.

Jen:

I received it too and I just ignored it.

Jen:

But you never know.

Jen:

That's why it's so dangerous.

Jen:

And I think in this environment where we're seeing Facebook's

Jen:

in decline, who the heck knows what's going on with Twitter?

Jen:

I think they had another 1200 people resign after.

Jen:

This ultimatum of are you willing to go hardcore?

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

By Alon Musk that they're down, they're, they had 7,500 employees and I think

Jen:

they're down to under 2000 at this point.

Jen:

That's not a safe environment for managing servers, protecting your information.

Jen:

It's all making like a really big case for don't put all of

Jen:

your information on social media.

Jen:

Don't put all of your eggs in the social media basket , have a good.

Jen:

For your business, have a place where all of your information is owned

Jen:

by you and it will serve you well in these shifting, changing times.

Jen:

And Shelley and I were talking about before the show, it's really hard to,

Jen:

navigate this environment right now.

Jen:

Shelley's saying that she's, still on board with YouTube.

Jen:

I tend to agree.

Jen:

It's hard to imagine Google and YouTube going anywhere at this point.

Jen:

I think that right now, LinkedIn is owned by Microsoft.

Jen:

It's hard to think that that's gonna go anywhere.

Jen:

We don't know.

Jen:

We just don't know.

Jen:

And I think that, even though we feel comfortable with these

Jen:

platforms right now, being YouTube and LinkedIn, that could change too.

Jen:

We don't know.

Jen:

So it's important, as I said, to have spaces that you have more control

Jen:

over because as we're finding this, this volatility is, is very real and.

Jen:

Employees taking these actions.

Jen:

It's scary, I think, for business owners.

Jen:

Yeah.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

Where's the security?

Shelley:

Where's the trust?

Shelley:

There is none.

Shelley:

They've just again and again, meta, and specifically the Facebook

Shelley:

product from Meta is constantly having these issues where they're

Shelley:

spreading lies and disinformation and, It's a place for people to

Shelley:

get hooked into these hate groups.

Shelley:

And it was never intended for that, but they didn't have the guardrails

Shelley:

in place to keep it from going there.

Shelley:

And now we've got the, their own employees are behind Their own downfall.

Shelley:

So it's pretty sad.

Shelley:

And I don't know what they're gonna do.

Shelley:

They need to do something or it's just going to go the way of MySpace.

Jen:

It's already on that trajectory, as we've talked about on previous shows.

Jen:

And the same thing is happening at Twitter, where it was bought out by

Jen:

man, child, billionaire, Alon Musk, who wants to make it more un moderat.

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

That's dangerous.

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

That's not looking good.

Jen:

I don't know what's going on with that.

Jen:

Nobody knows.

Jen:

It's become crazy.

Jen:

A lot of people are leaving to go to Macon.

Jen:

I would say blockchain, social media is just not there yet.

Jen:

I have an account on Macon, it's fine, but it's really hard to find other people.

Jen:

It's just not, it's not what people are used to.

Jen:

It's the whole thing.

Jen:

Crypto blockchain is just not easy for people.

Jen:

And until things are easy for people, they don't tend to go mainstream.

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

And don't get me started on crypto.

Jen:

We won't talk about it, but ftx, it's just I'm feeling more and more validated

Jen:

about my feelings about crypto every day because that's one of the biggest

Jen:

scandals and I'm reading about scandals almost every day in Wired about it.

Jen:

Some of these things aren't really ready for primetime.

Jen:

As much as I love Mastodon, it is if you wanna go to a social platform

Jen:

that is just pure positive, there's no doom scrolling, , go to Mastodon.

Jen:

It's just not.

Jen:

Really a place for business at this point

Shelley:

because it's different.

Shelley:

So yeah, business people definitely stick with YouTube and LinkedIn

Shelley:

right now because they're very solid.

Shelley:

And they do listen to you if there's any issues.

Shelley:

If you say, this is happening to me and it's not right they

Shelley:

will definitely look into it and try to fix it and work with you.

Shelley:

Their customer services isn't that bad for as big as they.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

And

Jen:

I will say if your people are on TikTok, Instagram, all of these things,

Jen:

Twitter, I still haven't let go of my Twitter cuz I just love it too much.

Jen:

I don't really use it for business, but I just until it becomes a complete.

Jen:

Like the security is gone and it's unmoderated.

Jen:

I just can't let go of it Personally, you could still use these platforms.

Jen:

Just be aware that there's so many moving parts that it,

Jen:

it may not be there tomorrow.

Jen:

That's what they're saying about Twitter.

Jen:

I think it's very real.

Jen:

It went down about a week ago.

Jen:

It went down and all these trending, I think it was the day before last week's

Jen:

show, it went down and there were all.

Jen:

Hashtags trending of, r i p, Twitter, all of it.

Jen:

It's very real, and sad.

Jen:

So just be careful out there.

Shelley:

Yep, yep.

Shelley:

Absolutely.

Shelley:

And don't believe everything on social media because you never know.

Shelley:

Somebody could jack that

Jen:

account.

Jen:

Don't click on those links that don't, that are not verified.

Jen:

Do that blue

Shelley:

check Mark.

Shelley:

Who knows?

Shelley:

, Jen: right?

Shelley:

Oh, that blue check mark stuff is pretty priceless.

Shelley:

. So priceless.

Shelley:

Oh boy.

Shelley:

Crazy people.

Shelley:

All right.

Shelley:

What else?

Shelley:

Anything else on that?

Shelley:

Don't have anything else on.

Shelley:

All right.

Shelley:

Are we ready for our presentation?

Shelley:

Sure.

Shelley:

power

Jen:

up.

Jen:

We're gonna power up.

Jen:

So today we're gonna talk about gratitude.

Jen:

And so if you go onto the women conquer biz.com website and you do click on the

Jen:

search icon, you'll find a series of articles about gratitude and leadership.

Jen:

I, I wanna share where that comes from.

Jen:

So I think I've mentioned before, I have a master's degree in leadership

Jen:

and management, but the gratitude part didn't come along until I left

Jen:

my job at the City of Portland.

Jen:

And I, when I did my reflection on leaving and starting a new business and what

Jen:

was missing from my experience at the City of Portland, a lot of it came down.

Jen:

Gratitude.

Jen:

There, it was not a environment where I worked and the city of

Jen:

Portland is large, so this is not a statement about the whole place.

Jen:

It's where there are like thousands of people.

Jen:

I'm talking about where I specifically worked.

Jen:

It was not a place of genuine, heartfelt gratitude for people's hard work.

Jen:

If you made a mistake, there were a lot of people who.

Jen:

Pulverized for making errors not necessarily talking about myself.

Jen:

Just things that I had witnessed, things like that.

Jen:

And when I did a lot of reflection around what leadership means to me and

Jen:

what makes a good leader part of that, a large part of that is gratitude.

Jen:

And I think we're seeing it play out.

Jen:

We mentioned Twitter a few minutes ago.

Jen:

We're seeing.

Jen:

Lack of empathy, that lack of gratitude.

Jen:

Playing out with Alon Musk right now.

Jen:

He came in, there were thousands of people working at Twitter, and he said,

Jen:

prove to me that you're worth staying.

Jen:

He laid off immediately without even knowing who they were, what they did.

Jen:

He laid off like half of the staff, and then he had this

Jen:

moment where he was like, Wait a minute, , I need some of you people.

Jen:

And he tried to invite him back and they were like, no, , I'm not coming back.

Jen:

Why would I come back?

Jen:

It's a lack of acknowledgement, a lack of empathy.

Jen:

Somebody who only wants loyalty is as in the case of Lon Musk.

Jen:

Can't handle any criticism at all.

Jen:

It was a hostile takeover.

Jen:

People are going to have opinions about that.

Jen:

A true leader needs to be resilient to the criticism and still willing

Jen:

to share gratitude and even have gratitude when things fail.

Jen:

And when I've led workshops about leadership and gratitude, oftentimes

Jen:

what I'll say is you need to have.

Jen:

Gratitude or acknowledge something good that happened on your worst

Jen:

day, you have to find something good.

Jen:

What happened on that, on the worst day that you can think of that you can share,

Jen:

even just a little bit of gratitude for it, and that's why a lot of times I think

Jen:

of gratitude as a year long celebration.

Jen:

It infuriates me, that where there's this holiday and a lot

Jen:

of people just reserve that for.

Jen:

You're one time that you talk about what you're grateful about.

Jen:

To me, it's something that needs to happen all the time.

Jen:

As business owners, as people in your family, as among friends and

Jen:

colleagues and everybody, there have to be these times where you share grace

Shelley:

and love

Shelley:

and don't wait.

Shelley:

Because you never know, some of those people that were at your

Shelley:

Thanksgiving table last year might not be there this year, so don't wait.

Jen:

Do you have ways that you infuse gratitude into your daily life, Shelley?

Shelley:

I try . I would say I, I try and sometimes.

Shelley:

Don't do a very good job of it, but the really wonderful thing for me is my

Shelley:

business partner, Toby, is so, so good at.

Shelley:

This he will see some homeless person and he will say a little prayer, and he's not

Shelley:

a religious person, but he'll say a little prayer, thank you, God for what I have.

Shelley:

Everything seems to remind him and he says it out loud to

Shelley:

be thankful, to be grateful.

Shelley:

And to uplift others.

Shelley:

He does this a lot and it teaches me to do it, and it reminds me

Shelley:

I need to be doing that too.

Shelley:

And I'm grateful too now when I'm doing my journaling.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

I'm very focused on what am I thankful for?

Shelley:

What's going right in my life?

Shelley:

What are the happy high points in my life?

Shelley:

And I'm writing about them.

Shelley:

But then throughout the day when things are happening, I don't always

Shelley:

remember to say, I'm sure there, I'm sure there's something in here

Shelley:

to be grateful for, but I do try to think, how is this happening for me?

Shelley:

Rather than to me, when something happens I try to find the good in it.

Shelley:

Where, where's the good?

Shelley:

And sometimes, like you talked about, what's your worst day?

Shelley:

When my brother called me on the phone to tell me that my mom had had a stroke,

Shelley:

what could I be grateful for about that?

Shelley:

My brother and I got to be very close this year.

Shelley:

We talked on a phone quite a lot.

Shelley:

We shared feelings with each other that we hadn't shared.

Shelley:

And since, we were little kids or whatever, Or if ever so there

Shelley:

are things that we can pull out to be grateful for in our lives.

Shelley:

Now when it comes to our.

Shelley:

Our business.

Shelley:

I'm just, I love it so much.

Shelley:

I love what I do.

Shelley:

I'm grateful for that.

Shelley:

I'm grateful for all of the equipment that I have for, I'm grateful

Shelley:

for all the applications that I have that make my life easier.

Shelley:

There's easy, it's easy to be grateful for things like that

Shelley:

especially when they're working.

Shelley:

Well,

Shelley:

working.

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

I.

Jen:

A lot of my gratitude, I would say maybe the foundations of these ideas around

Jen:

leadership and gratitude, it, part of it started in Peace Corps, right?

Jen:

When you go somewhere and everything is stripped away.

Jen:

I lived in Kazakhstan for two years.

Jen:

I didn't live in an embassy, , where they always had, they had internet.

Jen:

They had a house with probably central Heat.

Jen:

I lived someplace where all of those creature comforts were stripped

Jen:

away, and it was a difficult life.

Jen:

And I had the man I love more than anybody with me and my husband and

Jen:

I met wonderful, fabulous people.

Jen:

The reason I'm on Facebook at all is.

Jen:

Many of the people I know from Kazakhstan, that's where they are.

Jen:

Mm-hmm.

Jen:

. So if I leave that, then I can't talk to UF Malik or in, or, and I

Jen:

still hold out hope for other people to be on there from that time.

Jen:

I feel like Tabari and Rehan, all these people could eventually show up there.

Jen:

Like of all the places It.

Jen:

It starts there.

Jen:

And I will say that like still to this day, and I've been back now for several

Jen:

years, that I stand in the shower with the hot water and I think this is awesome . I

Jen:

say like a little gratitude about that.

Jen:

When you think about being someplace that, we didn't even have running water.

Jen:

It was like one an hour a day or something like that.

Jen:

We had running water, it kind of changes.

Jen:

It shifts some of your perspective, but you don't have to have an experience

Jen:

like that to have those shifts.

Jen:

Gratitude is something that you can do every day.

Jen:

For a while here, we played a game where every morning we had to say

Jen:

three things we were grateful for.

Jen:

That could not be the same.

Jen:

Three things.

Jen:

It had to be different.

Jen:

So you couldn't just be like my house, my wife and my dog,

Jen:

which is what John was doing.

Jen:

And I was like, no, , you need to come up with something different.

Jen:

And what we've found is that leadership and gratitude put together,

Jen:

meaning when things go wrong, you still find the good in that.

Jen:

Or when things go good, you share that gratitude with others That improves.

Jen:

Attitude.

Jen:

Attitude of gratitude.

Jen:

Attitude of gratitude, . But I see that in you, Shelley.

Jen:

You've had a lot going on in your life and you seem to

Jen:

really be very resilient to it.

Jen:

And I was wondering if that was because you have a.

Jen:

Gratitude in your life.

Shelley:

Yeah, and again, that's part of my journaling process is

Shelley:

to really, focus on what do I have control over, what do I still have,

Shelley:

what's good in my life, and not focus on the things that are going wrong.

Shelley:

The things I have no control over.

Shelley:

There's no reason to focus on that because I can't do anything

Shelley:

about it anyway, so I let it.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

And I know we talk about surrender, and I think that's part of that surrender

Shelley:

attitude is I don't have control over that, so I'm not going to dwell on it.

Shelley:

Dwelling on things that are Sad or upsetting is a, an addictive behavior.

Shelley:

So I don't allow myself to do that because that's just wallowing

Shelley:

and , you can get stuck in that.

Shelley:

So I, I try very hard not to do that.

Shelley:

Not to wallow, not to be addicted to, anger attainment or

Shelley:

sadness or, for sure grateful.

Shelley:

You have time.

Shelley:

I have more.

Shelley:

I have time and a wake up call at the same time, at a wake up call this

Shelley:

year with my mom and my husband and our client and, different people that

Shelley:

it was just such a year of wake up.

Shelley:

Life is short.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

Deal with stuff now.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

Now maybe that's not a gratitude thing.

Shelley:

, I'm getting off course with it, but I think while we're gathering

Shelley:

together for Thanksgiving, it's a good time to think about that as well.

Shelley:

Life is short.

Shelley:

Stop arguing with people and start finding what you have in common and

Shelley:

start coming together with them because that's what makes life wonderful.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

I will say that I had an increased, I still have a sense of urgency around

Jen:

things ever since losing my dad.

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

You feel a lot more gratitude for what you do have and where you're going,

Jen:

and also urgency about where you wanna be when you're faced with tragedy or

Jen:

death, or you see how precious what we have is and how quickly it can be gone.

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

And I think that it's in those fleeting moments of seeing grace, of witnessing

Jen:

the beauty of what somebody else brings.

Jen:

Those are also things that you can be sharing with your community.

Jen:

Those are things that you can be sharing from a marketing perspective.

Jen:

I don't think it's icky if you say, Shelley was really awesome today,

Jen:

I really appreciate her.

Jen:

And you put that on social media and tag her.

Jen:

If it comes from a place of real, genuine belief, like it's not an

Jen:

attention grabbing, icky feeling to just say thank you, like to be

Jen:

grateful, and to share that with your community and to talk about.

Jen:

How cool you think somebody else is.

Jen:

During last week's show, I talked about my attorney and how much I

Jen:

love him , cuz I think he's great.

Jen:

That came from a place of wholehearted joy and I'm sharing it because it's, I

Jen:

think that maybe he doesn't know how much I appreciate him and I think that that.

Jen:

Is when we talk about sharing gratitude and gratitude being a part of your

Jen:

marketing, what you're really doing is you're sharing like basically a

Jen:

testimonial Instead of making the business owners share it like you've

Jen:

said it to them, one of the ways that you can incorporate gratitude

Jen:

into your marketing is to share these truly great things that you have

Jen:

experienced and witnesses witnessed that somebody else has done for you.

Jen:

Or with you or for you,

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

I think in this day and age of short attention spans and shortcuts, we

Shelley:

tend to let niceties go too often.

Shelley:

We forget to thank people send them, I was on a podcast interview Wednesday

Shelley:

and I didn't send a thank you note, and I'm like, I, I probably should have done

Shelley:

that , and it hasn't been released yet.

Shelley:

It doesn't matter.

Shelley:

I should have sent him an thank you note saying Thank you for having me on

Shelley:

your podcast, and I had a great time.

Shelley:

It's just that easy.

Shelley:

Just thinking about they did something for me.

Shelley:

How can I thank them?

Shelley:

They go together, not just, they did something for me.

Shelley:

Moving on . Yeah.

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

And that's the thing it means also having this openness to the idea that

Jen:

someone is doing something for you.

Jen:

And a lot of times when people are guests on shows, you know this cuz and we've

Jen:

both had shows where we have guests.

Jen:

Yes.

Jen:

There are some guests who come on who think that.

Jen:

It's not something that's being done for them and you, they never share it.

Jen:

They never thank you for the being on the show and anything.

Jen:

Like they just have this expectation.

Jen:

It's that this is something that's owed to them.

Jen:

And I think that what we have to do is slow down and remember . It takes

Jen:

a lot of time and effort to promote somebody else on a show and do that.

Jen:

And you're remembering.

Jen:

Because you know how hard it is, but I think that there are a lot of times where

Jen:

people are, when you're working with a contractor and you're thinking, oh,

Jen:

it's just so easy for them and it's not.

Jen:

And you can thank people for the good work that they do.

Jen:

I think that makes

Shelley:

you stand out because so few people do it.

Shelley:

If you send a thank you to your clients or to some prospect or to, this can

Shelley:

happen in your marketing if you are just sending out individual thank you

Shelley:

very customized individual to each person who did whatever you stand

Shelley:

out because so few people do that.

Jen:

Yeah, I had a prospecting call and my prospecting, when I talked to

Jen:

potential clients, I'm very candid because my view is I want to help

Jen:

them, whether they hire me or not.

Jen:

Mm-hmm.

Jen:

, like that's how it goes, and afterwards, I sent them a thank you and I said, whether

Jen:

you work with me or not, here are some things that I would recommend for you.

Jen:

And one of the people is a former client.

Jen:

I know that she was like, thank you, . I think she was just like, oh, Jen B and

Jen:

Jen, cause this is just how I do it, but the other person didn't know me and

Jen:

really appreciated that level of candor.

Jen:

Mm-hmm.

Jen:

. And it's because, and I feel that because part of my mission is to make

Jen:

sure that people are doing well and doing better whether you're paying me

Jen:

or not, and, and that's part of what this show is about, but not everybody.

Jen:

Operates on that level.

Jen:

That's right.

Jen:

And I'm not saying, oh, be like me cuz I'm far very far from perfect . I'm

Jen:

just saying slow down sometimes and take stock of what you have around you.

Jen:

And then there are op opportunities to share that with your audience,

Jen:

to share that with your people so that they know who you're working

Jen:

with, what's working for you.

Jen:

Who you are appreciative of.

Jen:

Mm-hmm.

Shelley:

and why.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

And if I was to go to somebody's social media and see that they were constantly

Shelley:

promoting and showing gratitude for others, what would I think of them?

Shelley:

I would think that's an awesome person to work with because they are so giving.

Shelley:

I wanna be a part of their world.

Shelley:

So what a wonderful way to boost your reputation just by, by thanking

Shelley:

people, by promoting others who are doing good work, giving voice.

Shelley:

If you have a podcast to people who you know are unseen and unheard and unknown,

Shelley:

but you feel really should be known because they're doing such good work these

Shelley:

are the types of things that lift you up even though you're not promoting yourself.

Shelley:

It is in a way promotion for you because people look at you and

Shelley:

go, wow, what a great person.

Jen:

Wow.

Jen:

Who knew that being nice.

Jen:

And that's the thing, we live in this world where being nice is,

Jen:

is unique . It is, it's true.

Jen:

You right.

Jen:

At least in social media world.

Jen:

Mm-hmm.

Jen:

, which as we all know, is not reality.

Jen:

At least I hope it's not most of the time.

Jen:

So it's, yeah.

Jen:

I, I do, I do.

Jen:

This is, again, I'm gonna say it only works if it's

Jen:

from a place of authenticity.

Jen:

And not just Jen says, I have to be thankful I'm gonna share stuff like that.

Jen:

Doesn't, that's not what we're talking about, . That's not the same thing.

Jen:

No, no.

Shelley:

I was on LinkedIn today and I saw a friend of mine

Shelley:

who was promoting himself and.

Shelley:

He tries so hard.

Shelley:

He works so hard.

Shelley:

So I was like, I'm gonna give him a little, I'm gonna repost with my

Shelley:

thoughts and just add on my 2 cents to his promotion so that more people

Shelley:

see it because I appreciate him.

Shelley:

He's my friend.

Shelley:

I wanna help him out.

Shelley:

And it took what a minute of my time to do that.

Shelley:

So those little helpful things that, that.

Shelley:

You're people that, you're friends you're being a friend.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

That's what friends do.

Shelley:

. Yeah.

Jen:

And that's, and that has a big part in your business.

Jen:

This is something you can be doing year round.

Jen:

This is not a only do this in November.

Jen:

, if you have s . Yeah.

Jen:

. If you have a.

Jen:

and of people who are, contractors or people working for you or

Jen:

with you and things go wrong.

Jen:

This is where things, this is where it gets really tough to be gracious and

Jen:

share gratitude when things go wrong.

Jen:

You still have to share gratitude for the things that went right, and you have

Jen:

to do it in a way that helps to build capacity among the people around you.

Jen:

And this is what.

Jen:

Can be a real struggle or a real challenge for a small business owner

Jen:

who doesn't have a lot of resources.

Jen:

There's just too many things going on.

Jen:

It makes it very difficult.

Jen:

But I encourage you before you go, ah, everything went wrong.

Jen:

Like before that , take a minute and think about the things that went right.

Jen:

This is what, you wanna do a reflection of some kind so that you can parse

Jen:

out like what actually went wrong.

Jen:

And one of the ways that you find out, whether it's yourself or like

Jen:

I said, you have a team and vendors.

Jen:

One of the ways that you're gonna find out what actually happened is

Jen:

with sugar and honey, not with anger.

Jen:

That's, so you can share appreciation.

Jen:

For all of the things that happened that were good and it will help you get to the

Jen:

bottom of when sideways, what went wrong.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

And it's unexpected.

Shelley:

You take people by surprise and and you get their attention

Shelley:

when you do things like that.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Jen:

I don't think I have.

Jen:

Do you have other things you wanna share about gratitude?

Shelley:

Maybe we'll get to it in the inspiration, but that's all

Shelley:

I have for marketing part of it.

Shelley:

. Jen: Awesome.

Shelley:

So I will share some links in the show notes to a couple of blog posts.

Shelley:

I did an early episode, I don't know it was two or three

Shelley:

years ago, about surrender.

Shelley:

I'll include that in the show notes as.

Shelley:

If Shelley has some inspiration or gratitude, we'll put those in

Shelley:

as well so that you can get some access to some other times that

Shelley:

we've talked about these things.

Shelley:

So thank you for indulging in us doing this.

Shelley:

It's a little bit different.

Shelley:

Because we can't teach you how to do gratitude.

Shelley:

I told Shelley that before the show.

Shelley:

There's no how to do gratitude in your marketing.

Shelley:

That's not really a thing

Shelley:

. Shelley: But if you have ideas of

Shelley:

if you've, used gratitude in your business, in your marketing to reach

Shelley:

out to increase business in any way put that in the comments cuz

Shelley:

we would love to know about that.

Jen:

One of the things I did for a while is if somebody sent me a client, a

Jen:

potential, whether I had them or not, I would send Starbucks gift cards to people,

Jen:

thank you, notes, all kinds of things.

Jen:

So tell us what it is that you're doing that can really help you.

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

And help

Shelley:

everybody.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

Share the

Jen:

love.

Jen:

That's right.

Jen:

. That was right.

Jen:

So that's the end of presentations.

Jen:

That's

Jen:

right.

Jen:

, Shelley: and again, look for those

Jen:

those blog posts that Jen's offering you and podcast episodes as well.

Jen:

I'm sure I have something because I, I've got a big catalog of personal

Jen:

development stuff, so you're a

Jen:

life coach.

Jen:

Come on.

Jen:

Come on

Jen:

. Shelley: Yeah.

Jen:

So I'm teasing you.

Shelley:

Are you ready to move into

Jen:

tweaks?

Jen:

I am.

Shelley:

All right.

Shelley:

I found a new tweak this week.

Shelley:

In fact, this morning I found something called volley.app.

Shelley:

Cool.

Shelley:

I'm gonna share that with you.

Shelley:

Here we go.

Shelley:

This is just with this screen.

Shelley:

There isn't a whole lot there but there are groups that you can join such as this

Shelley:

is the Vol for Video Creators, and this is Volley for Coaches, and they encourage,

Shelley:

, you'd be able to do stuff like that.

Shelley:

And so

Jen:

what's vo What does it do?

Shelley:

VO is is a, it's a video.

Shelley:

You can make a video.

Shelley:

Mm-hmm.

Shelley:

, And send it to somebody, and then they can answer that in a video and send

Shelley:

that to you so that you don't have to be in the same place at the same time.

Shelley:

Like on a Zoom call for instance, if you have coaching clients or clients

Shelley:

in a membership and they want specific I wanna ask you a specific question

Shelley:

and something very tailored to them.

Shelley:

Rather than putting it out in a forum, they could send you a question in a video

Shelley:

and then you could answer their question in a video that just goes to them.

Shelley:

So it's a question and answer back and forth, which is why it's

Shelley:

called Volley back and forth.

Shelley:

And.

Shelley:

They also have a way that you can start a group in there so that people are

Shelley:

voling back and forth to each other as well as to the leader of the group.

Shelley:

So if you have peer to peer people talking to each other, just

Shelley:

sending videos back and forth.

Shelley:

And again, it's nice, especially if you have people in other countries and

Shelley:

other time zones, and yeah, you can be together at the same time, you can.

Shelley:

Make a very short, quick video, blah, blah, blah.

Shelley:

And then they get it, they see it and they make a video back to you

Shelley:

so that you get to see each other's faces, hear each other's voices.

Shelley:

You don't have to do a lot of typing and it's a very cool little app.

Shelley:

It's free.

Shelley:

To use.

Shelley:

Okay.

Shelley:

Until you start charging people.

Shelley:

So then they take 5% off of whatever you're charging people.

Shelley:

So if you say, I'm charging a thousand dollars a month for coaching

Shelley:

they take 5% of that every month.

Jen:

Not cool they're taking it, but I get it like that.

Jen:

It's cool that you can charge, but

Shelley:

yeah.

Shelley:

Is what I meant.

Shelley:

It's a, it's something that you can use for things like that or you can

Shelley:

use it for free and not charge people.

Shelley:

That's your choice.

Shelley:

Awesome.

Jen:

That's cool.

Jen:

And that's at vol.app?

Jen:

Yes.

Shelley:

Okay, awesome.

Shelley:

Yeah, I'm sure I don't have a tweak of all kinds of ways to use it.

Shelley:

As you start, get into it.

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

I don't have a tweak of the week.

Jen:

I started using script.

Jen:

So last week we started, we talked about script.

Jen:

I shared with Shelley before the show some of my frustrations

Jen:

cause like they moved everything.

Jen:

Mm-hmm.

Jen:

, I hate it when they do that.

Jen:

And then Shelley was saying that they changed some of the shortcuts and

Jen:

shortcuts that makes it difficult.

Jen:

, but the functionality is it's definitely improved.

Jen:

I think I was using beta too and just didn't know it.

Jen:

Mm-hmm.

Jen:

, because when Shelley was describing it, I was like, wait,

Jen:

that's been part of it forever.

Jen:

And then then it wasn't , I realized it wasn't.

Jen:

But it's it's definitely way better.

Jen:

I think they've even tightened up some of the, when you take out

Jen:

filler words, it sounds better now they smoothed it out a little bit.

Jen:

and I think it's great.

Jen:

But yeah it's hard to relearn when they change and move everything.

Jen:

And that's the pain I'm in right now.

Jen:

So that's my tweak the week.

Jen:

. Shelley: Yeah.

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

But you can always go down in the time timeline, if you're like

Jen:

a little bit lost, like I put something in there and now I don't

Jen:

know where it went, you can open up the timeline and go oh, here it is.

Jen:

And you can move it or stretch it or whatever you need to do.

Jen:

So there's two different ways to to edit with it.

Jen:

You can just do the do the stuff with.

Jen:

Text in the script.

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

Or you can go down in the timeline and shift things around if you need to.

Jen:

Very cool.

Jen:

So it gives you that extra ability there.

Jen:

I like, well,

Jen:

, Jen: I know it is a little, like it.

Jen:

They move stuff around, but I think that it's a way better, it's better.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

I think the studio sound has improved as well, because when we

Shelley:

first started using Studio sound, it was like, it would take out the.

Jen:

Like if was not

Shelley:

good music underneath your voice, it would take it out completely.

Shelley:

And it's like, wait, no, that's not what I wanted.

Shelley:

you have to make adjustments.

Shelley:

Yeah,

Jen:

yeah.

Jen:

But, and I always turned it off cuz I usually do the sound in garage band.

Jen:

I need to still research and see if I can move my plugins into script

Jen:

and then I would just keep it and just use that instead of this little

Jen:

mini garage band step that I take.

Jen:

So it's.

Jen:

But it's cool.

Jen:

They've really, really improved it.

Jen:

I'm a huge ambassador of the script, so will continue to Yeah.

Jen:

Recommend it to people.

Shelley:

It's one of the few subscriptions we hang onto for sure.

Shelley:

. Yeah.

Jen:

Yeah.

Jen:

I'm not getting rid of that at any time, yeah.

Shelley:

Yeah.

Shelley:

Awesome.

Shelley:

Let's talk about inspiration.

Shelley:

I pull up my, we have a couple of quotes for you that we both liked.

Shelley:

This one, it is not joy that makes us grateful.

Shelley:

It is gratitude that makes us joyful.

Shelley:

That was David Spindel rest and Brene Brown said, I believe a joyful

Shelley:

life is made up of joyful moments gracefully strung together by

Shelley:

trust, gratitude, inspiration, and.

Shelley:

So a lot about joy and how to inspire joy, and we all want that in our lives.

Shelley:

We want more joy, we want more.

Shelley:

Happy feelings, . And one of the ways to get one of the those happy

Shelley:

feelings is like Jen had talked about where you come up with three things

Shelley:

I'm grateful for, and you share that with people and, play a little game

Shelley:

out of it or write it in your journal.

Shelley:

What am I grateful for today?

Shelley:

And then try to, Do different things every day because there are

Shelley:

so many things to be grateful for, that when you force yourself, to

Shelley:

be a little bit creative about it.

Shelley:

Oh, I'm grateful for my family and I'm grateful for food,

Shelley:

and I'm grateful for my house.

Shelley:

Great.

Shelley:

You can't use those again this month.

Shelley:

Oh, no.

Shelley:

now what?

Shelley:

You get down to Mar, November 30th, and you're like I like coffee.

Jen:

Actually, coffee would come up for me well before the end of

Jen:

the month, before I, I, I think that, gratitude begets gratitude.

Jen:

So you begin to see, Is around you and what is it that they say?

Jen:

You see what you wanna see.

Jen:

Mm.

Jen:

So if you start seeing the good, you'll see more of the good.

Jen:

Mm-hmm.

Jen:

. But if you're focused on the bad, that's all you're gonna see around you.

Jen:

And I think that I know when we focus on the good things, more good things

Jen:

happen and we feel more joyful, we feel more rested, more grateful.

Jen:

You're gonna bring that Turkey graphic out again, aren't you?

Jen:

Is that why you turned the trailer off

Jen:

? Shelley: Now that you mentioned

Jen:

Happy Thanksgiving to everybody.

Jen:

We hope you have a wonderful, wonderful holiday and you get to

Jen:

spend time with family and friends and enjoy good meal as well.

Jen:

Killing small.

Jen:

So for people who are listening, there's this Turkey pulling a cornucopia cart,

Jen:

but Shelley keeps popping pilgrim hat

Shelley:

and we had to have that for little holiday Joy

Shelley:

All right.

Shelley:

Do we have anything else to say?

Shelley:

All right.

Shelley:

You guys have a wonderful weekend and we will see you next time.

Shelley:

That's right.

Shelley:

Thank you for joining the Women Conquer Business Podcast, hosted by

Shelley:

Shelley Carney and Jen McFarland.

Shelley:

Please subscribe and leave a comment or question regarding your most challenging

Shelley:

content creation or business problem.

Shelley:

Then share this podcast with family and friends so they can find the

Shelley:

support they need to expand their brand and share their message with the.

Shelley:

Check the show notes for links to valuable resources and come back again next week.