Hi, it’s Natalie here. This episode is an emotional and important one. I’m joined by Tim Royal, a television director known for his work on Coronation Street, Emmerdale, and EastEnders, who reached out to me to share the story behind his short film "It’s the Hope That Kills You."
If you’ve been listening for a while, you’ll know that male factor infertility was part of my own fertility story. And this month on the podcast, we’re shining the spotlight on male infertility and men’s experiences, which often go unheard. Tim’s story speaks to that silence and the emotional toll that fertility treatment can have on men.
What we talk about:
- How Tim felt marginalised and overlooked throughout the IVF process
- The emotional weight of never being called by name or offered therapy
- The pressure of “sample day” and why language matters in the clinic
- The cumulative trauma of repeated failed transfers and insensitive staff questions
- A powerful idea: colour-coded patient folders to avoid retraumatising questions
- The stark contrast between treatment at St Mary’s Hospital and CARE Fertility
- Tim’s experience of debilitating anxiety and his journey to seek therapy
- The importance of recognising and challenging intrusive thoughts
- How IVF reshaped his relationships, identity, and day-to-day mental health
- Tim’s reflection on IVF as a team effort, and how he supported his wife
- The impact of working on scripts about fertility while living through treatment
- Choosing to use film as a tool for honesty, empathy, and social change
- How hope can both carry and crush us during infertility
- The moment everything changed: a final transfer, a fertility stone, and holding on to the “1 percent”
About the film
It’s the Hope That Kills You is a 13-minute short film written and directed by Tim, based on his and his wife’s seven-year fertility journey. It is raw, authentic, and quietly devastating, capturing the micro-aggressions, emotional weight, and relationship strain of infertility.
Tim self-funded the film and created it to spark conversations and help others feel seen. It’s especially powerful for those trying to support loved ones but unsure how.
The film will be available to watch for free on YouTube on 30 November.
It has a Christmas element and was inspired by their 11th and final transfer, which took place on Christmas Eve.
You can follow the film’s Instagram page for updates: @itsthehopethatkillsyoufilm
Support for Men and Mental Health
As Tim shares, his anxiety became life-altering and the lack of support for men in the fertility space made it worse. If you’re navigating something similar, please know there is help available.
Organisations and initiatives that support men:
Don’t forget to ask your clinic about advanced sperm DNA testing. Many men are told their semen analysis is “normal,” but tests like those offered by ExamenLab go deeper by detecting hidden DNA fragmentation that can impact conception, miscarriage, and IVF success.
Let’s stay connected
A final ask
If this episode resonates with you, please share it. Sometimes a film or podcast episode is the only way someone can start to explain what they’re going through.
Follow the podcast on your favourite app to get each new episode. I’m so grateful you’re here.
Until next time.
