Mike Garrison: Hey, Carl, what's going on? Dude?
Mike Garrison: How's it going.
Carl J Cox: How you doing? Bro.
Mike Garrison: Man. I'm doing great.
Carl J Cox: Okay, we got all that stuff. Good. So have you. Did you do any hunting or fishing this past weekend?
Mike Garrison: Fishing. I don't. Hunting takes takes me away from fishing.
Carl J Cox: So, okay, so your priority is the fishing side. And okay, okay, cool. I was just because why did I assume? Maybe because I saw you in your camo gear. I assumed you were hunting then. But you you
Carl J Cox: primarily just fishermen.
Carl J Cox: Yeah, okay.
Mike Garrison: Because I like to fish for wild trout, and they're pretty spooky.
Carl J Cox: Oh, okay. All right.
Mike Garrison: So try your.
Carl J Cox: You're.
Mike Garrison: Yeah.
Carl J Cox: You're in ninja mode. Then.
Mike Garrison: Well, I mean as ninja as a fat older guy can be
Mike Garrison: true story.
Carl J Cox: Oh, man! So good!
Mike Garrison: My goal is not to fall down
Mike Garrison: when I'm fishing. It's like it's not to fall in and bash my knees
Mike Garrison: so.
Carl J Cox: That's so. Do you catch any good fish? This weekend.
Mike Garrison: No, it was it was different. It was different because
Mike Garrison: I've been kind of in a funk spiritually for about a year and a half.
Carl J Cox: Really.
Mike Garrison: Just really struggling and like prayer. Life has been awful right, you know, and basically I cause I came to. I came to faith later in life, through A, B and I group
Mike Garrison: through Referral Group.
Mike Garrison: And so I I never have connected with church Christianity.
Mike Garrison: Right. And so, and every time I do I default into this
Mike Garrison: facsimile of who I am
Mike Garrison: right. And so and I've one of the st books I read that really spoke to me was John Eldridge, wild at heart, like it was a I don't know if you've read that book, but it was a good
Mike Garrison: I I kind of moved away from it because I had gotten really excited. My dad not was not a Christian.
Mike Garrison: and I shared the book with Dad and was like, Hey, dad, this book is like, why, I feel like you're I became a Christian because of how you love me. You love me like this.
Mike Garrison: like God loves people in this book.
Mike Garrison: It didn't work. Dad died
Mike Garrison: an unbeliever. I was holding his hand. It was awful right.
Carl J Cox: Oh, man!
Mike Garrison: And so like I've been like I I really have been in a funk ever since my dad died
Mike Garrison: just and like everybody's like, well, you know my God's in charge. You don't know that he wasn't saved. I'm like, actually, I have a great degree of confidence
Mike Garrison: because of the conversation that he wasn't
Mike Garrison: I? I would love nothing better. But I don't live the platitude life.
Mike Garrison: you know. I've got a severely disabled kid platitudes just offend me
Mike Garrison: right. They just don't work. I don't often react to them. I just kind of like, okay, whatever you know. But so anyways, long story short.
Mike Garrison: Eldridge
Mike Garrison: just came out with cinema
Mike Garrison: quality videos
Mike Garrison: about wild at heart.
Carl J Cox: Oh, wow!
Mike Garrison: On Youtube.
Mike Garrison: on you, and they are. They're amazing. He had thought about having them on Netflix. That's how how good they were.
Mike Garrison: And and so I I've known about him for about a month, Carl.
Mike Garrison: but I I watched it for a little bit. Oh, I gotta do something else right?
Mike Garrison: And so finally, I was so frustrated with my, you know.
Mike Garrison: sin, life and everything
Mike Garrison: I was. You know what
Mike Garrison: I'm gonna sit down and watch a prologue, and it was freaking, beautiful.
Carl J Cox: And.
Mike Garrison: It was John Eldridge.
Mike Garrison: Fly fishing was kind of the theme
Mike Garrison: at the end of it. He's like, I realize that every time I go fly fishing. I'm looking for my dad, and I never find him.
Carl J Cox: Oh, wow! That put the hair on the back of my neck.
Mike Garrison: Yeah. And then the then the st episode is this dude from Wales.
Mike Garrison: who's a world famous artist doing stuff I've never seen before. He basically etches
Mike Garrison: on cowhide
Mike Garrison: big skins
Mike Garrison: and creates these
Mike Garrison: I've never like. I grew up in Washington, DC.
Mike Garrison: Dupont Circle, Georgetown Galleries. My dad used to frame for the National Gallery of Art. Like so like I've been to Rodin, I've been to all the stuff right?
Mike Garrison: It's like it's not that I dislike local art. It's gotta be art. But you know.
Mike Garrison: anyways, that
Mike Garrison: stuff reconnected me. And so the whole way down
Mike Garrison: to go fishing. It's about our drive to where I wanted to go fish.
Mike Garrison: because I have a less chance of falling at that place
Mike Garrison: because it's flatter.
Mike Garrison: I mean, I have to wear knee pads, Carl. It's pitiful.
Mike Garrison: And so like cause, I've got bad knees as a paratrooper. So anyways, whole way down, I'm listening to a podcast that Eldridge is doing about the prologue about the st episode.
Mike Garrison: And I'm like.
Mike Garrison: like, and this one guy
Mike Garrison: Mark, that st episode is like he goes every time I tried to do it. I was the st guy at church, the last guy to leave. I tried to fit in the box, and I don't fit in the box, and then I realized, God isn't in the box. God is wild and God like, and I'm like, Oh, and I was like, Oh, I mean, I really
Mike Garrison: I really it was. It was a great experience. It was great. I only caught fish, but I really was kind of meditating as opposed to.
Carl J Cox: Yeah.
Mike Garrison: Really fishing, and which is fundamentally what I'm looking for. So anyways.
Mike Garrison: That's what's going on. And so that's why I sent you that audio clip
Mike Garrison: because this podcast.
Mike Garrison: Is a
Mike Garrison: a, really.
Mike Garrison: if it works well, a really subtle and really sneaky call to faith.
Mike Garrison: yeah, Luke,
Mike Garrison: is
Mike Garrison: price marketing plan
Mike Garrison: right?
Mike Garrison: Set the out, out, by Find a person, they receive your piece, there remain.
Mike Garrison: And and so that's really what this podcast. Is about. It's what the new book is going to be about, why should I refer you? Is the book.
Mike Garrison: My tagline is the most important word is the last word you.
Carl J Cox: Yeah, yeah, right.
Mike Garrison: Because at the core of this system is that human beings are
Mike Garrison: unbelievably precious and unique.
Mike Garrison: right and and like, you're worthy of being referred.
Mike Garrison: if you're human.
Mike Garrison: But now we got to get other people involved
Mike Garrison: right.
Carl J Cox: Exactly. Yeah.
Mike Garrison: That's ridiculous. But, anyways, how are you doing.
Carl J Cox: Doing well. No, I appreciated the
Carl J Cox: the transparency. I shouldn't be surprised. You're very transparent. But I appreciated the transparency on the face. It's interesting.
Carl J Cox: well, actually, I'll share with you. It was it was really good. So
Carl J Cox: This was last night when our our call with
Carl J Cox: call with my kids. So of my were on the call, and
Carl J Cox: anyways, but this is this is this is a Seth Holbrook. And so my son played football with this kid. He's years. One of my sons played football with him, says my heart is full.
Carl J Cox: days ago I tore my acl.
Mike Garrison: Hmm.
Carl J Cox: Tonight I toured again.
Carl J Cox: so do not do not mistake the red eyes and tear streak faces for sadness. Over the last year there's been plenty of pain and disappointment
Carl J Cox: at times felt like wave after wave, physical, emotional hurt. I'm skipping over little things. It's not for the hurt, the joy of sharing the field with my friends and teammates might be diminished.
Carl J Cox: not for the struggle I might not see and love my family as they do now, not for the pain I might not know, and this must be his girlfriend.
Carl J Cox: I can see Christ working through the storm. I know that nothing happens outside of his control, and that he will use all things for my ultimate good.
Carl J Cox: so thankful for that he's chosen to work in broken places and through broken people.
Carl J Cox: Even now I see Christ clearer than yesterday. I rejoice, knowing that he will continue to use my broken body to mold me into the image of Jesus. My heart has never been fuller. God has never been more gracious and more merciful to me than he is right now, so I'll continue to go. The journey of joy and rest of hope in him. I'm looking for me years from now, standing in the presence of my Savior, praising Him for the way he used this period of time in my life for glory and good.
Mike Garrison: Not a bad call?
Carl J Cox: And
Carl J Cox: and so what? What was what? Why, I bring this up is is
Carl J Cox: It's been good. I'm a bike
Carl J Cox: by my
Carl J Cox: build. How, how I was made. As I am a I'm a doer achiever st over people. That's that's why how I operate.
Carl J Cox: But I
Carl J Cox: recognize the importance of I love my wife. Love my kids, love, you know, but I'll recognize if there's a a doubt of often I'll take a path to do rather than to be.
Mike Garrison: And.
Carl J Cox: You know, and and so I've been. I've been reflecting on this a lot. I mean, I do a pretty good job of daily Bible reading.
Carl J Cox: You know. Pretty good job of of praying daily.
Carl J Cox: but
Carl J Cox: sometimes you we miss. I. Miss
Carl J Cox: Ims is
Carl J Cox: it. All he's asking is to be
Carl J Cox: like him, to be in him, to be with him right is to be in his presence.
Carl J Cox: because we can't do anything that will overcome the Grace. Right? It's just the grace that's been given. And so I'm just sharing this in my own self-reflection. It's for whatever reason it's been hitting me more because when I had my the Hernias surgeries.
Carl J Cox: the part of this is I wanted to get back to the hernia that I mentioned, while everyone was saying where there were you know, everyone was like saying, out of I was like, of course, in my head, I'm like, you guys are a bunch of liars. But outside of outside, but maybe they were, and you know, maybe they were wonderful. But what bothered me.
Mike Garrison: Out of
Carl J Cox: Exactly.
Carl J Cox: But what bothered me last night was when this was happening. I was not like this kid, Seth Holbrook.
Mike Garrison: Oh, yeah.
Carl J Cox: You know. And and so here, this year old kid.
Carl J Cox: last night, just put this. I'm embarrassed now, looking back
Carl J Cox: at what I just went through the last months, because here I have an opportunity
Carl J Cox: to
Carl J Cox: B or and I did not.
Carl J Cox: I complained more. I struggled more. I you know I did not do the things that I could have, and anyways, it's a little self-reflection on my own journey, and here, by the way, I was not. I did not grow up a believer, but at college I became a believer and
Carl J Cox: and so yeah, it's it's this journey is the good news about reading the Bible? Is this everyone, every single one, except for Jesus, who, of course, because he's God.
Mike Garrison: Oh, yeah, okay, I you know I I take great comfort from the fact that everyone else complained.
Mike Garrison: You're like, I've I've resigned. I'm not, Elijah. I'm not taking the fast train right like, I'm not going to be gathered home like that. So I'm like, Okay, well, I'm here right? And so like I would just encourage you. It's like like, and it's not. I don't come at this from cynicism.
Mike Garrison: but I like when I hear stuff like that
Mike Garrison: I
Mike Garrison: I just think it's beautiful.
Mike Garrison: Yeah.
Mike Garrison: right? I I don't know his heart. I don't know him. I don't know what's really going on, and I've seen too many
Mike Garrison: men, let alone women
Mike Garrison: that work that God works through, and they say beautiful, wonderful things that make a difference in my life
Mike Garrison: only to discover that they were just as struggling as much as I was in a different way. And so I'm not diminishing him at all. In fact, I think I'm actually like
Mike Garrison: appreciating what it really is. It's just this beautiful, wonderful
Mike Garrison: act of worship to share that right.
Carl J Cox: And.
Mike Garrison: And and and I I wish him nothing but more
Mike Garrison: of that.
Mike Garrison: Right, you know. It's like people ask me.
Mike Garrison: They always try to understand what it's like being the dad that I am with the son, with the massive challenges. And and I always tell them I'm like you don't really want to know.
Mike Garrison: like I said, you just don't want to know, because it's not helpful for you.
Mike Garrison: and it's also not necessarily helpful for me
Mike Garrison: to describe how tough it is, I said. What you do need to know
Mike Garrison: is how it changed me
Mike Garrison: right. It didn't remove sin from my life.
Mike Garrison: It did not.
Mike Garrison: It did not make me a better person.
Mike Garrison: but it gave me an opportunity
Mike Garrison: to
Mike Garrison: grow
Mike Garrison: and be used in spite of myself.
Mike Garrison: You know, and people will come to me like man. I'm so inspired by how you share about your son. I'm like, really
Mike Garrison: like, okay, I mean, like, I, initially, I'm like, why, like, I'm just talking about how awful it is. So like, Oh, it's so inspirational, I'm like.
Mike Garrison: you know, and like, and I and then I used to get offended, Carl, because they'd be like, well, what inspired me is you didn't leave, I'm like, was that an option.
Carl J Cox: And.
Mike Garrison: And like. So I like, why? Why? Why am I getting adulation
Mike Garrison: for doing the absolute minimum standard
Mike Garrison: like? Don't abandon your family
Mike Garrison: woo. That's admirable, right? But but I've gotten past that now. It's like, okay.
Mike Garrison: fundamentally, one of the reasons God has taken me. I believe this, and I know it. The reason he's taken me is, I've had a couple of clients say to me, you know, Mike, one of the most important things about work with you as a coach right?
Mike Garrison: The least profitable thing I do, by the way, but one of the the most important things is, I know that there's nothing I can bring to you
Mike Garrison: that you can't handle.
Carl J Cox: Hmm.
Mike Garrison: I went. Well, don't. It's not a challenge.
Carl J Cox: Okay.
Mike Garrison: Quick!
Mike Garrison: It's not a contest.
Mike Garrison: Don't.
Carl J Cox: Yeah. What else do you have for me? God.
Mike Garrison: It's like, it's like, like, you know, you're doing well. You're blessed. This is good. So anyways, this is really what the podcast. Is about
Mike Garrison: like when you get down to it. Carl. Did I send you the questions.
Carl J Cox: And yeah.
Mike Garrison: I guess.
Carl J Cox: well, maybe you did. But I just listened to the recording part, so.
Mike Garrison: Yeah, it's good.
Carl J Cox: No, I I've done a couple of these, so we'll be okay.
Mike Garrison: Good. Yeah. The the basic concept is is exploring the intersection
Mike Garrison: between being thoughtful enough and professional enough to anticipate needing to answer this question, why should I refer you?
Carl J Cox: Right, right.
Mike Garrison: Also understanding the the intrinsic opportunity
Mike Garrison: that is offered to you doing business this way?
Mike Garrison: Right? Yes, yeah. Yeah. And and what what scares some of my clients is they're they're like, this is a freaking love story. I'm like, yep.
Carl J Cox: Yeah.
Mike Garrison: This is what it is right, you know.
Carl J Cox: It really is, because.
Mike Garrison: Like one of my favorite books, is raving fans.
Mike Garrison: And when you look at raving fans, raving fans is a story about...
GMT20241022-190930-Recording-converted:
Hey, Carl, what's going on, dude?
2
:How's it going?
3
:Man, I'm doing great.
4
:Okay.
5
:We got a lot of stuff.
6
:Good.
7
:So have you, did you do any hunting
or fishing this past weekend?
8
:Fishing.
9
:I don't, hunting takes,
takes me away from fishing.
10
:Okay.
11
:So your priority is the
fishing side and okay.
12
:Okay, cool.
13
:I was just, cause why did I assume
maybe cause I saw you in your camo gear.
14
:I assumed you were hunting then, but you.
15
:That's right.
16
:Fisherman.
17
:Yeah.
18
:Okay.
19
:Because I like to fish for wild
trout and they're pretty spooky.
20
:Oh, okay.
21
:All right.
22
:Yeah.
23
:Try it.
24
:Yeah.
25
:You're ninja mode then.
26
:As ninja as a fat, older guy can be
27
:true story.
28
:Oh man.
29
:My goal is not to fall down
when I'm fishing with it's not
30
:to fall in and bash my knees.
31
:So yeah.
32
:So do you catch any
good fish this weekend?
33
:No, it was it was different.
34
:It was different because I've
been in a funk spiritually
35
:for about a year and a half.
36
:Like really just really struggling and
like prayer life has been awful and
37
:Basically, I am because I came to faith
later in life through a BNI group through
38
:a referral group And so I never have
connected with church Christianity Right.
39
:And and every time I do, I default
into this facsimile of who I am.
40
:And and I've, one of the first
books I read that really spoke to
41
:me was John Eldredge while at heart.
42
:It was a, I don't know if you've
read that book, but it was a game.
43
:I moved away from it because
I had gotten really excited.
44
:My dad not was not a Christian
and I shared the book with dad.
45
:It was like, Hey dad, this book is
like, why I feel like you're, I became
46
:a Christian because of how you love me.
47
:You love me like this, like God loves
people in this book and didn't work.
48
:Dad died, an unbeliever.
49
:I was holding his hand.
50
:It was awful.
51
:Oh man.
52
:And I've been, like I really have
been in a funk ever since my dad died.
53
:Just, and everybody's my god's in charge,
you don't know that he wasn't saved.
54
:I'm like, actually, I have a great
degree of confidence because of
55
:the conversation that he wasn't.
56
:I would love nothing better, but
I don't live the platitude life.
57
:I've got a severely disabled kid.
58
:Platitudes just offend me.
59
:They just don't work.
60
:I don't often react to them.
61
:I just okay, whatever, but so
anyways, long story short, Eldridge
62
:just came out with cinema quality
videos about wild at heart.
63
:Oh, wow.
64
:On YouTube.
65
:And they are.
66
:They're amazing.
67
:He had thought about
having them on Netflix.
68
:That's how good they were.
69
:And so I had, I've known about
him for about a month, Carl, and
70
:I watched it for a little bit.
71
:Oh, I got to do something else.
72
:And so finally, I was so frustrated
with my, sin life and everything.
73
:I was, you know what, I'm going
to sit down and watch a prologue
74
:and it was freaking beautiful.
75
:It was John Eldredge, fly
fishing was the theme.
76
:At the end of it, he's I realize that
every time I go fly fishing I'm looking
77
:for my dad and I never find him.
78
:Oh, wow, that put the hair
on the back of my neck.
79
:Yeah, and then the first episode is this
dude from Wales who's a world famous
80
:artist doing stuff I've never seen before.
81
:He basically etches on cowhide.
82
:And creates these,
83
:I've never I grew up in Washington, D.
84
:C., DuPont Circle, Georgetown
Galleries, my dad used to frame
85
:for the National Gallery of Art.
86
:I've been to Rodin, I've
been to all the stuff, right?
87
:It's it's not that I dislike
local art, it's gotta be art.
88
:But, anyways.
89
:That stuff reconnected me.
90
:And so the whole way down to go fishing,
it's about an hour drive to where I
91
:wanted to go fish because I have a
less chance of falling at that place.
92
:Cause it's flatter.
93
:I have to wear knee pads, Carl.
94
:It's pitiful.
95
:And so cause I've got bad
knees as a paratrooper.
96
:So anyways, all the way down,
I'm listening to a podcast that
97
:Eldridge is doing about the
prologue about the first episode.
98
:And I'm and this one guy marked that first
episode is he goes every time I tried
99
:to do it, I was the first guy at church.
100
:The last guy I leave, I tried to fit
in the box and I don't fit in a box.
101
:And then I realized God isn't in the box.
102
:God is wild and god and i'm
like, ah and I was like, oh, I
103
:really it was a great experience.
104
:It was great.
105
:I only caught a few fish, but I
really was meditating as opposed
106
:to Really fishing and which is
Fundamentally what i'm looking for
107
:so anyways That's what's going on.
108
:And so that's why I sent you that
audio clip because this podcast Is
109
:a really if it works well a really
subtle and really sneaky call to faith
110
:Luke 10 is Christ's marketing plan,
111
:right?
112
:Set the two outs 70 out two by two
find a person if they receive your
113
:piece there remain and so that's
really what this podcast is about.
114
:It's what the new book is going to be
about Why should I refer you is the book?
115
:My tagline is the most important word
is the last word you right because at
116
:the core of this system is that human
beings are unbelievably precious and
117
:unique Right and like you're worthy
of being referred if you're human, but
118
:now we got to get other people involved
119
:Exactly.
120
:Yeah, that's what it is.
121
:But anyways, how are you doing?
122
:No, I appreciated the Transparency,
I shouldn't be surprised.
123
:You're very transparent.
124
:But I appreciated the
transparency and the fit.
125
:It's interesting.
126
:Actually I'll share with you.
127
:It was really good.
128
:So
129
:this was last night when
our Call with my kids.
130
:Three of my four were on the call.
131
:And anyways but this is a Seth Holbrook.
132
:And so my son played
football with this kid.
133
:He's two years.
134
:One of my sons played football with him.
135
:It says my heart is full.
136
:367 days ago.
137
:I tore my ACL tonight.
138
:I tore it again.
139
:So do not mistake the red eyes
and tear streak faces for sadness.
140
:Over the last year, there's been
plenty of pain and disappointment.
141
:At times felt like wave after
wave, physical, emotional hurt.
142
:I'm skipping over the little things.
143
:It's not for the hurt.
144
:The joy of sharing the field with my
friends and teammates might be diminished.
145
:Not for the struggle.
146
:I might not see and love my family
as they do now for the pain.
147
:I might not know that this
must be his girlfriend.
148
:I can see Christ working
through the storm.
149
:I know that nothing happens outside
of his control and that he would
150
:use all things for my ultimate good.
151
:So thankful for that.
152
:He's chosen to work in broken
places and through broken people.
153
:Even now I see Christ
clearer than yesterday.
154
:I rejoiced knowing that he will
continue to use my broken body to
155
:mold me into the image of Jesus.
156
:My heart has never been fuller.
157
:God has never been more gracious and
more merciful to me than he is right now.
158
:So I'll continue to go the journey
of joy and rest of hope in him.
159
:I'm looking for me 10, 000 years from now.
160
:We standing the presence of my
savior, praising him for the
161
:way he used this period of time
in my life for glory and good,
162
:not a bad call.
163
:And so what was, what, why I
bring this up is it's been good.
164
:I'm a by my build how I was made as
I am a, I'm a doer, achiever first
165
:over people that's how I operate.
166
:But I
167
:recognize the importance of I love
my wife, love my kids, love, but
168
:I'll recognize if there's a doubt
of often I'll take a path to do
169
:rather than to be right, and and so
I've been reflecting on this a lot.
170
:I do a pretty good job of daily Bible
reading pretty good job of praying
171
:daily, but Sometimes you, we miss, I
miss is all he's asking is to be like
172
:him, to be in him, to be with him.
173
:It's to be in his presence
because we can't do anything
174
:that will overcome the grace.
175
:It's just the grace that has been given.
176
:And so I'm just sharing this
with my own self reflection.
177
:It's for whatever reason, it's been
hitting me more because when I had
178
:my, The hernias surgeries, the part
of this that I wanted to get back
179
:to, the hernia that I mentioned while
everyone was saying where there were 9.
180
:8, 9.
181
:7, everyone was like saying out of 10,
I was like, of course, in my head, I'm
182
:like, you guys are a bunch of liars
outside of outside, but maybe they
183
:were, and, maybe they were wonderful.
184
:But what bothered me.
185
:Out of 20.
186
:Exactly.
187
:But what bothered me last night
was when this was happening, I was
188
:not like this kid Seth Holbrook.
189
:Oh, yeah.
190
:Yeah.
191
:And so here this 20 year old kid
last night just put this phrase, I'm
192
:embarrassed now looking back at what I
just went through the last three months
193
:because here I had an opportunity to
194
:be more.
195
:And I did not.
196
:I complained more.
197
:I struggled more.
198
:I, I did not do the
things that I could have.
199
:And anyways, it's just a little
self reflection on my own journey.
200
:And here, by the way, I was not,
I did not grow up a believer, but
201
:at college I became a believer.
202
:And And yeah it's this journey is the
good news about reading the Bible is
203
:this everyone, every single one, except
for Jesus, of course, because he's God.
204
:Oh, yeah, I, I take great comfort from
the fact that everyone else complained.
205
:I resigned.
206
:I'm not Elijah.
207
:I'm not taking the fast train.
208
:I'm not going to be
gathered home like that.
209
:So I'm like, okay I'm here, right?
210
:And so I would just encourage you
as and it's not, I don't come at
211
:this from cynicism, but I, like
when I hear stuff like that, I
212
:I just think it's beautiful, right?
213
:I don't know his heart.
214
:I don't know him.
215
:I don't know what's really going on.
216
:And I've seen too many men.
217
:Let alone women that work that god works
through and they say beautiful wonderful
218
:things that make a difference in my life
Only to discover that they were just as
219
:struggling as much as I was in a different
way And so i'm not diminishing him at all.
220
:In fact, I think i'm actually
221
:Appreciating what it really is.
222
:It's just this beautiful wonderful
Act of worship to share that right?
223
:And I You I wish him
nothing but more of that.
224
:It's like people ask me, they always
try to understand what it's like
225
:being the dad that I am with the
son with the massive challenges.
226
:And I always tell him, I'm like,
you don't really want to know.
227
:I said, you just don't want to know
because it's not helpful for you.
228
:And it's also not necessarily helpful
for me to describe how tough it is.
229
:I said, what you do need to
know is how it changed me.
230
:It did remove sin from my life.
231
:It did not make me a better person,
but it gave me an opportunity.
232
:To grow and be used in spite of myself,
233
:and people will come to me
like, man, I'm so inspired by
234
:how you share about your son.
235
:I'm like, really?
236
:Okay, initially, I'm like, why I'm
just talking about how awful it is.
237
:Oh, it's so inspirational.
238
:No.
239
:And and then I used to get offended,
Carl, because they'd be like what
240
:inspired me is you didn't leave.
241
:I'm like, was that an option?
242
:So I like why am I getting adulation
for doing the absolute minimum standard?
243
:Don't abandon your family.
244
:Woo.
245
:That's admirable.
246
:But I've gotten past that.
247
:Now it's okay.
248
:Fundamentally, one of the reasons God has
taken me, I believe this and I know it.
249
:The reason he's taking me is I've had
a couple of clients say to me, Mike,
250
:one of the most important things about
working with you as a coach, right?
251
:The least profitable
thing I do, by the way.
252
:But one of the most important things
is I know that there's nothing I can
253
:bring to you that you can't handle.
254
:And I went don't, it's not a challenge.
255
:Like it's not a contest.
256
:What else do you have for me?
257
:God, it's you're doing
well, you're blessed.
258
:This is good.
259
:So anyways, this is really
what the podcast is about.
260
:Like, when you get down to it,
Carl, did I send you the questions?
261
:Yeah.
262
:Yeah.
263
:Okay.
264
:Maybe you did, but I just
listened to the recording part.
265
:Yeah, it's good.
266
:I've done a couple of
these, so we'll be okay.
267
:Good.
268
:Yeah.
269
:The basic concept is.
270
:is exploring the intersection
between being thoughtful enough and
271
:professional enough to anticipate
needing to answer this question.
272
:Why should I refer you?
273
:And also understanding the intrinsic
opportunity that is offered to you
274
:doing business this way, right?
275
:Yes.
276
:Yeah.
277
:And what scares some of my
clients is they're like, this
278
:is a freaking love story.
279
:I'm like, yep.
280
:Yeah,
281
:This is just what It's right.
282
:It, it really is because one of
my favorite books is Raving Fans.
283
:And when you look at raving fans is a
story about outrageous love of clients.
284
:That's right, I remember I list the
first time I read it, but the first
285
:time I listened to the tapes 'cause
there are no, I think they have CDs
286
:now, but it's still not an audible.
287
:I'm so angry about that.
288
:It's still it's not on audible.
289
:I like Blanchard.
290
:Come on, man.
291
:Anyways, but I wept.
292
:I wept when I heard it because
I started thinking about this
293
:is what made being I special.
294
:All right, so I am about to do
the brief kind of intro, which is
295
:basically letting my audience know.
296
:Marketing guy know that he puts in
he's got like the voice for radio.
297
:It's unbelievable Yeah, so then
i'm going to transition into
298
:asking to introduce yourself and
then we're going to just jump in.
299
:All right, cool All right, John,
this is the part where you do an
300
:introduction that makes me sound
super professional and awesome.
301
:I look forward to it.
302
:Welcome, Carl, to the Why
Should I Refer You podcast.
303
:I almost said, Can I borrow your car?
304
:That works too.
305
:But I think Why Should I Refer You
is actually more important because
306
:that's the question that often is asked
unconsciously by people in our lives.
307
:And answered unconsciously by us and
people are worth too much more than
308
:that to take it for granted So carl, I
met you recently you once again proved
309
:to me why I am Naturally inclined to
p and e and m and a people you guys
310
:just make sense to me So why don't you
introduce yourself to the audience?
311
:Yeah.
312
:Mike.
313
:Hey, first of all, I'm so
ecstatic to be on this.
314
:It's been fun.
315
:Our multiple conversations that we've
had since being in Charleston together.
316
:What a great town that is.
317
:I love Charleston and yeah.
318
:So what I, my name, what's again,
project Cox CEO 40 strategy
319
:also the CEO 40 accounting.
320
:And so what do I do?
321
:I help small to midsize business owners
help take their company to the next level.
322
:And I do that in two ways.
323
:I do it.
324
:Pre.
325
:Equity.
326
:I help work with clients and helping them
to understand that they're this is the
327
:sad part, 57 percent of business owners.
328
:Their business value is discounted
and 90 percent of their ownership
329
:is tied up in their business.
330
:Yeah.
331
:That's a bad combo.
332
:It's a bad combo.
333
:And what's, what we do is we help
unlock that risk combined with
334
:improving the EBITDA to increase the
valuation before the private equity
335
:firm firms take advantage of you.
336
:Okay.
337
:And so then, so that's
one half of my life.
338
:And then the other half of my life is
I work with those private equity firms.
339
:Okay.
340
:So then Yeah.
341
:Yeah.
342
:I do.
343
:I play on both sides and I really
enjoy it because their perspective is
344
:so much different than the business
owner's perspective because it's a
345
:different game and what the biggest
challenge is understanding the new game.
346
:It's a financing game versus a loving
relationship of the, of your business
347
:and your baby that you birthed, right?
348
:And so the finance game is a
different game and it's very
349
:uncomfortable for most business owners.
350
:And so I help
351
:private equity firms turn those companies
around to help them get through to create
352
:the financing equity they were expecting
when they first got into the opportunity.
353
:So I work both sides.
354
:And so as a result, I can.
355
:Hear, understand, empathize, have
sympathy, whatever you want to call it.
356
:And I've been fortunate enough, I've
been in seven different companies myself
357
:that have gone from 2X to 7X in size.
358
:I've done it several times.
359
:It's fun.
360
:I have experiences and, as I started
out as a bean counter, a CPA I've been
361
:a CFO, I've been a business owner.
362
:You're so not a CPA.
363
:Thank you.
364
:I appreciate you saying that.
365
:And I don't even, it's funny.
366
:I didn't even have a listen on
LinkedIn that I'm a CPA because
367
:I, just because of that thing.
368
:I don't want people to
think, but we do it.
369
:We do bookkeeping taxes, et cetera.
370
:But but yeah that's who I am.
371
:The more important side of
who I am is my home side.
372
:Married my high school sweetheart.
373
:And we have four wonderful children
that are all become adults.
374
:We just became the empty
nesters this past summer, which
375
:has been released the arrows.
376
:It's hard but been good.
377
:And now we get a chance to see, we've
been very fortunate that three of the
378
:four of them have played college sports.
379
:And so we get to observe and be
in contact and travel with them.
380
:But but at the end of the day
my That so that's the two halves
381
:and it's being with family.
382
:And then, and of course, there's the
other important stuff of your own
383
:faith and, and getting that figured
out and trying to help people out.
384
:Because at the end of the day,
I'm going to just jump to the
385
:important story, Mike, just because
386
:I love the gaming business and.
387
:Matter of fact, one of my favorite
experiences when I was working with
388
:a PE firm, we were trying to hire a
new operator, which is code word for
389
:those who aren't familiar, that's, CEO.
390
:Okay, they call them operators
in the PE world, right?
391
:Okay, like they're, like,
like a operator in SEAL teams.
392
:So not that, okay, but they're
the operators in terms of
393
:working in the business.
394
:Sometimes they do kill people.
395
:Figuratively.
396
:Yeah.
397
:Yeah.
398
:Yeah.
399
:It's like it, it transformation for sure.
400
:And yeah, they do slash and
kill a lot, so to speak.
401
:But I was working on this P operating,
he said, Carl, I, and he was bragging.
402
:It was a little obnoxious.
403
:Honestly, he was like, ah, I got this.
404
:And this is, I got this homes
and I got the jet airplane.
405
:But he said, Carl, if I spend
one more minute by a luxury pool,
406
:I'm going to drown myself in it.
407
:Okay.
408
:Okay.
409
:So that's issue one.
410
:So my point is this for those who are
trying to get the Rolex watch and the
411
:money that you never have to work again.
412
:Don't fool yourself that
you've got it figured out.
413
:Because I've talked to people who never
have to make money again and their
414
:children's never have to work again.
415
:And they're like, I need to get back in
the game because I need to have purpose.
416
:So that's number one.
417
:That's like the deep personal side of
things that people don't figure out.
418
:You got to fulfill your purpose after
you've sold your company, right?
419
:You got to figure out who
you are your purpose, right?
420
:Yes.
421
:Period.
422
:Okay.
423
:So then there's the end
game, the big end game.
424
:And the story here is I remember I
was a 34 year old CFO in a company
425
:that was growing three and a half
X and maybe it's 35 at this time.
426
:And the CEO sorry, the VP of sales
passed away due to melanoma cancer.
427
:And we got to be along his struggle and
he did everything he could to survive,
428
:but it was a relatively quick event.
429
:And So I went to his funeral and here
I expected to see everyone talk about
430
:all the accomplishments and all those
different companies that he'd been with.
431
:And that's, I was eager, excited
as a business person to hear of
432
:the accolades of all the different
companies and buildings build
433
:up over the period of time.
434
:But what did they talk about?
435
:All as I talked about, it was interesting.
436
:There was literally people, employees.
437
:From every single one of the companies
it was with throughout his career, but
438
:not one person talked about the impact on
the company or the money that they made
439
:all as they talked about was the impact
that Larry Stark had made in their life.
440
:So why you bring all this up is I
love the tricks and the games that we
441
:play to create value in organizations.
442
:But the end of the day, the only thing
that matters is the relationships.
443
:That we have with people, which
goes right in line with what
444
:you do in the referral business.
445
:Yeah, man, it's a beautiful story.
446
:And it's, and it is the story
because you've heard me say it,
447
:but referrals aren't for everyone.
448
:They can be, but they're not for everyone.
449
:And it's fundamentally, I
think, so surprise referrals.
450
:I hope happen for everyone I hope
that when you do a good job and you
451
:stick around that you're blessed
that these Spontaneous if I call them
452
:spontaneous eruptions of marketing
by referral happen and you get a
453
:nice sally field Oh, you like me?
454
:You really like me, right?
455
:You've won the oscar, right?
456
:The challenge is at the next level,
which is really what the book's about.
457
:And it's really what this podcast
is about is, are you prepared?
458
:I always think of that felt the film about
Al Capone with Sean Connery and and Kevin
459
:Costner about what are you prepared to do?
460
:What are you prepared to do?
461
:Not good fellas, but I can't remember.
462
:Anyways the concept being is
To be strategic about referrals
463
:is very much like deciding to
really be a business owner.
464
:Because you're taking on a different
mantle of responsibility because
465
:there's other people involved.
466
:When you live in the spontaneous,
where people find an opportunity, it's
467
:a unicorn, it happens, there's a lot
less risk involved in that transaction.
468
:Generally, the prospect wants to
talk to you, the prospect is in the
469
:market for what you do, and you have
to be a real rascal to mess it up.
470
:On the other side, the proactive,
predictable side, you're
471
:interacting with other people
in other people's relationships,
472
:and you are being a caretaker.
473
:For good or for bad.
474
:And that's really what I want to start.
475
:So you've done a lot of different
things and you've been involved in
476
:a lot of different conversations.
477
:And I know referrals
have been a part of it.
478
:What's one of that was obviously
one of the good ones with Mr.
479
:Stark.
480
:That was a good thing.
481
:Oh yeah.
482
:That's a person that was a giver.
483
:And he's someone that I bet got a lot of
introductions, not because of his sales
484
:acumen, but it was because of who he was.
485
:And at the core.
486
:This is what I want the audience to get.
487
:At the core of this entire process,
Is your referral partners if you
488
:really want to do this are going to
be asking that question Why should
489
:I refer you and if they have to
answer that inside of themselves?
490
:Some of them will because we're
hardwired for this community thing.
491
:So like You only do things wrong
if you're bad, but you're missing
492
:a whole bunch of it because when
you Answer the question for them.
493
:They are then able to share
that story Which, by the way,
494
:Story is the universal language.
495
:It's the universal
learning language, right?
496
:You can say Auditory, Visual,
Kinesthetic, whatever.
497
:Story is it, right?
498
:But what is it, what is a really good
referral experience that you've had?
499
:And why do you remember it?
500
:Oh, 40 Strategies.
501
:There's more than one.
502
:I know there's more than one.
503
:No yeah.
504
:No, I'll just start with the beginnings.
505
:40 Strategy was built on referral.
506
:So I would not be sitting here
talking to you today if I did
507
:not get referral business.
508
:And so it, it started literally from
the beginning of left a previous
509
:company and literally people were
like, I want to still work with you.
510
:Ha!
511
:So I had two people from the previous
company said, then the third one
512
:said, I've been lurking and watching
you for the past three months and
513
:I want to start working with you.
514
:I was like, fantastic.
515
:Let's get going.
516
:Talk about because this is a scary thing.
517
:My wife, I didn't share with you,
Mike, is when I opened Forty Strategy
518
:and this is not a really happy
conversation between the missus and I.
519
:It was one of the worst fights we ever
had when I opened up this business.
520
:Because I left a very lucrative.
521
:Secure job.
522
:It was hard job, but it was
a lucrative, secure job.
523
:And she's what, why
would you leave that for?
524
:So when our wives meet and this will
happen, we need to remember this
525
:conversation and not let it occur then.
526
:Thank you.
527
:Thank you.
528
:Yes.
529
:And again, good news is my
wife's tired of listening.
530
:So she doesn't listen to my podcast.
531
:So I usually can get away
with this conversation.
532
:But literally she was like
Missouri show me state gal.
533
:She was like, show me the
money at the end of the day,
534
:because like how you prove this.
535
:And so within what the coolest thing
is within two, three months, this is
536
:not your typical story, but within
two, three months, third month,
537
:I had highest checks I ever took
home in my career because I knew.
538
:I was making a difference.
539
:I knew I had developed the skills
over my career, but she was not
540
:convinced of that yet, right?
541
:Because she had seen other people
in her family and other people
542
:doing things and she's Oh, I don't
want to be a part of that again.
543
:So yeah.
544
:So I built up, but how did
that business come from?
545
:One was doing previous
good work in the past.
546
:The second way it happened was one
of the best relationships I had
547
:came through a get this served on
a board volunteer for nine years.
548
:Okay.
549
:Didn't get a penny out of it.
550
:Okay.
551
:Literally just give.
552
:After I opened up Portis Strategy, they
introduced me to a private equity firm.
553
:That private equity firm was willing to
take a risk in me because nobody wanted to
554
:go Eugene, Oregon in the middle of COVID.
555
:Went down to Eugene, Oregon, went
down to a client, you could take a
556
:look at him, precision, precision
manufacturing, Don Lindsey.
557
:Hey Don, if you happen to be listening
to this, thank you for what you
558
:did to help change that company.
559
:But, we, through that experience,
we had a Great results.
560
:And so they, they kept on giving me
other opportunities to refer and then
561
:through that it got me to another
private equity firm and then it got
562
:me to another private equity firm.
563
:And then there's the other side behind
it and but this is the thing that Mike,
564
:I will warn on because I don't make
it sound like everything has been.
565
:Rosie and perfect through this journey.
566
:There is an enemy and he gets a vote.
567
:Yeah.
568
:The challenge is when it almost was
too easy for me upfront, I'm saying
569
:this in a, it was almost too easy.
570
:And so because of that, I
didn't create a process.
571
:Oh no.
572
:Okay.
573
:And interestingly enough, as I reflected,
because I can, folks, if you go back
574
:and you categorize all your sales in
the past, if you, especially if you're
575
:a relationship based type business
thing, okay, you're going to find
576
:that if you track it, there's going
to be like five to 10 people that
577
:have brought you all of your business.
578
:Yes.
579
:Period.
580
:And the problem is when you stop
nursing those relationships,
581
:you lose.
582
:You get to be, they think you're too
busy and they stop referring your
583
:business that what's happened to me,
I was quote, unquote, conquering the
584
:world and traveling around the U.
585
:S.
586
:and, turning around all these companies
that, but I was not nurturing these
587
:relationships because I hadn't created
a process because it came too easy.
588
:Yep.
589
:That is one of the biggest fears.
590
:Yeah so that's honestly one of the things
I'm doing now again is recommitting
591
:to these relationships and not just
do but be with these really wonderful
592
:people that I want to help give to them.
593
:Cause I have things to help give
to them, but then there's maybe
594
:ways I can help them out as well.
595
:And so it's been a really,
that's why I love to actually
596
:listen to your presentation when
we're in Charleston together.
597
:And it, I've really done some
good self reflection even just
598
:recently of, and what the literally
it's almost like timing of it.
599
:Like the amount of
600
:referrals I've just gotten in the past,
like it's almost I take all the credit.
601
:Yeah.
602
:Thanks, Mike.
603
:Now I'll say this though, sometimes
too, sometimes it's a season of, okay,
604
:so I'm going to throw something out
sometimes in, as a, as an entrepreneur
605
:or a business owner or whatever you do,
606
:not everybody needs what you're selling.
607
:So true.
608
:Okay.
609
:And so it's showing up.
610
:One of the reasons I, even though I was
doing it, we were doing concurrently,
611
:I opened up 40 accounting separately.
612
:was because people were always
asking me, I can't find a CPA
613
:and never answers the phone.
614
:Can you do my bookkeeping?
615
:Can you do my financial reporting?
616
:Can you help me, my
kind of interim CFO guy?
617
:And I was like, yeah, of course, and so
I was just doing that work just alongside
618
:I wasn't mentioning I was doing it.
619
:Now that I've Turn the thing and
say, I'm doing it and yes, I'm
620
:still an active CPA or I should say
actually I may I am an active CPA.
621
:That's a starving crowd, right?
622
:So I'm going to go to the
story that I didn't say there.
623
:The story is if you're trying
to attract new business.
624
:Where should you go?
625
:If you're, I'm going to open up my
new business shop and I'm going to
626
:open it and say, where should you open
up your location or your business?
627
:And some people say you should
open on the busiest street corner.
628
:That's what some people say.
629
:If you have a restaurant, right?
630
:Busiest street corner,
have a restaurant there.
631
:Somebody else will say, Oh
no, put it behind McDonald's.
632
:Cause the McDonald's is they do all
their research, take advantage of that.
633
:And we won't go into the politics
behind that right now, but that's
634
:funny if you think about it.
635
:But then on the third side behind it.
636
:Is The really best place to open your
restaurant is in front of a starving crab.
637
:That can afford your stuff.
638
:That's right.
639
:That's right.
640
:And so understanding Who and what and
where and what you're providing and who's
641
:ready to listen because what I've really
interesting found is when I talk to
642
:somebody about one thing now, I can also
now share a cross sell of my other stuff.
643
:It's so huge and so
man, there's just a lot.
644
:That's great.
645
:A couple of things just
technically on the referral side.
646
:Yes, please.
647
:Just to rephrase it for the
audience, because I want to make
648
:sure they got what you shared,
649
:strategy is not apart from referrals.
650
:Strategy is even more essential.
651
:And this is what people miss, is
they get excited by the emotional
652
:part of the referral process, right?
653
:Oh, they believe in me, which
by the way is, man It's awesome.
654
:Of course you're excited about it.
655
:And of course, but you need to be
able to unpack how did this happen?
656
:And you need to be able
to start isolating.
657
:And if you're in the audience
and you're listening, go back.
658
:This is why I always talk to my
clients, tell me about great referrals
659
:and tell me about bad referrals and
let's try and gather retroactively.
660
:So it's anecdotal, but anecdotes have
power to clearly let's gather the data.
661
:Because so I'll just give you an example.
662
:I was working with a pretty nice team
of wealth advisors in Cincinnati,
663
:and whenever I start working
with a team, I'm looking for one
664
:thing that has massive traction.
665
:I'm looking for one thing that we
can discover that they already have.
666
:So it's a person of peace.
667
:I'm looking for a lieutenant,
looking for a rabbi, right?
668
:I'm looking for someone that these multi
millionaires Have already got and is
669
:underutilized like we talk about arbitrage
and leverage because it's what we do.
670
:It's who we are, right?
671
:Where is it right?
672
:If you don't pee yourself,
somebody else will pee on you.
673
:So that's very hard.
674
:Man.
675
:That dude's a good speaker.
676
:He's a good speaker.
677
:But that's the thing.
678
:Referrals is you have to look at
it like a private equity person.
679
:What opportunity is there?
680
:For example, we discovered that they
had this really incredible relationship
681
:with a young woman who's an AI savant.
682
:She's young, attractive, dynamic speaker,
and is uniquely gifted at speaking to
683
:business owners about something terrifying
and making it applicable and equitable.
684
:And I had the biggest smile on my
face and I said, Hey, we're done.
685
:I just, my consulting
fee is just paid for.
686
:It's non-refundable at this point.
687
:And they laughed like why I go gentlemen
your body language your energy when you
688
:started talking about her and how much
you respect her and how You can't wait
689
:to introduce her to clients She is the
rabbi that you are going to introduce
690
:to other business owners that will
make prospecting less dangerous for
691
:you psychologically and more exciting
and affirming because you're not just
692
:doing it to make money directly for you.
693
:You're not coming, you're giving to them
and you should have seen their faces.
694
:You, I'm sure you've seen those faces with
clients of yours when you're in there.
695
:after a transaction helping to get
things rolling again to hit that number.
696
:It's the same kind of concept,
but people don't understand that
697
:is completely dependent upon
understanding sales and strategy, right?
698
:Because otherwise you don't know
how to answer the questions.
699
:And when you don't know how to
answer the questions, you're taking
700
:something that is amazing and you're
throttling it like a golf cart.
701
:You're taking a Maserati, a Lamborghini
and you're putting a governor on it
702
:and it won't go past 15 miles an hour.
703
:What do you think about that?
704
:I like the example you had of the
speaker side behind that, I've
705
:just, once again is when you can
706
:create once again of
707
:excitement, right?
708
:An opportunity you can combine the 2
and then which compels people to act.
709
:But there's something else
you said, which you really.
710
:Just said under the surface.
711
:That is the I would say is the hardest
thing and it's a big part of what you do.
712
:Mike.
713
:It's a big part of what I
do and different things.
714
:Not directly in the referral
side, but it's your own.
715
:It's our own DNA of rejection.
716
:I got my book, lost a CEO and right here.
717
:I've got.
718
:Please remove me from my mailing list.
719
:Oh, nice.
720
:Okay.
721
:Okay.
722
:Now, it's really funny.
723
:Somehow this human being has, I don't
know how, but three times has, I don't
724
:honestly know how it even happened.
725
:He must be trying to
get on to get rejected.
726
:Like it's the weirdest thing, but
regardless of that, so he could reject me.
727
:But but all that being said is
that is the hardest thing is that
728
:in the cold ish leads, in the
cold ish referrals, right?
729
:What I mean by is there is in
deeper relationships, right?
730
:Some of you don't know, they don't
know that the trust is a big gap.
731
:That's why referrals are so helpful,
so you can help bridge that gap faster.
732
:And just the sensitivity of the concepts
you bring up in Can I Borrow Your Car?
733
:Which is that the psychological safety
of concerning a brewing an existing
734
:relationship And then the other part
of just your own ego of failure, right?
735
:And it's hard.
736
:This is, this, these are the things, the
hardest things is that even when you have
737
:a process, but I, it was not too long ago,
I ran across some successful coach thing.
738
:I think it was on Instagram
or something like that.
739
:And I loved it.
740
:He said, if I didn't worry about,
if I would have worried about losing
741
:94 percent of the time, I would
never have an eight figure business.
742
:I Totally.
743
:I'm saying totally it that has
direct relevance to referrals.
744
:Absolutely.
745
:And here's a couple of things I was
so I was talking to, I had a great
746
:referral today, great referral,
a guy down in Florida, really
747
:successful advisor over a million.
748
:Take home super successful.
749
:He was referred to me.
750
:And so we just had a fun time
talking about stuff and we
751
:got into real important stuff.
752
:And then we expanded back
out to the regular world.
753
:And he goes I'm really interested
in the referral stuff that you do.
754
:He goes we get a lot of referrals,
but we don't know when they're coming.
755
:And he goes but we're afraid.
756
:And he said, we're afraid
you don't know what to do.
757
:And I said I said.
758
:Like, how about if I just fix that for
you right now on this free phone call?
759
:And he's and I go, no, I was serious.
760
:Give me five minutes.
761
:We'll fix it.
762
:And I took him through macro
micro strategies and he's damn,
763
:I go, now here's the trick.
764
:So now you, you intellectually
have got the construct.
765
:I said, now here's the two
rules that you have to apply
766
:to have any chance of success.
767
:Number one, you're excited about
this concept having a system,
768
:but it's not a system yet.
769
:I said, so you have to buy the book.
770
:It's 20 bucks, buy the book,
and you'll get the system.
771
:I said, but you have to understand
there's two rules that make this
772
:work, and you cannot escape them.
773
:The first rule is you have to
develop the system That you believe
774
:that if you do it, it will work
according to what your dreams are.
775
:I said, my friend, he's a
multimillionaire, 20, 30 million, right?
776
:I said, my friend, it's
no longer about money.
777
:Money's how we keep score, but that
doesn't intrinsically motivate you.
778
:Am I wrong?
779
:He goes, no, not at all.
780
:He goes, I said, That's important.
781
:I said, but here's the other one.
782
:That system has to be something
that you are excited about doing.
783
:And my hack that I didn't find
until two years ago, when I wrote
784
:that book hack is we're just going
to have an explicit giving system
785
:because those dudes in Cincinnati
were excited about introducing her.
786
:And all of a sudden the call
reluctance, which is real, and they
787
:may or may not work with me going
forward because that's what I do.
788
:You and I get paid, not conceptually.
789
:We get paid on helping clients
execute on these strategies, right?
790
:But that's the deal.
791
:If you're listening to the audience,
understand that what Carl and I are
792
:basically talking about is you have
to connect your heart to the business.
793
:There has to be a purpose that drives it.
794
:And when it comes to business
development, we It's very rare
795
:that somebody is intrinsically or
extrinsically motivated to grow, sell.
796
:Once you make your first million, once
you get to a position of success, your
797
:risk tolerance completely changes and
you're not able to force yourself to do
798
:things you did when you were starving.
799
:You have to find a different way
to do it and the way to do it
800
:is to find a way to get excited.
801
:And when I work with millionaires, the
people that are relationship oriented, I
802
:always trick them into doing prospecting
by having them do it for other people
803
:That's brilliant.
804
:Yeah.
805
:And they're like, this is amazing.
806
:I'm having so much fun.
807
:I'm like, you are hard cold
sales prospecting, bro.
808
:They're like, no, I'm helping people.
809
:I'm like, okay, fine.
810
:Whatever.
811
:Just keep.
812
:And they're three X ing
their conversations.
813
:So real quick, I just got a couple
of questions I want to run by you
814
:just because of what you've done.
815
:I know that people are
asking you for referrals.
816
:Oh, yeah, no question.
817
:And I know half of them aren't even
directly asking they're trying to create
818
:Some kind of convoluted conversation where
you spontaneously decide that you're going
819
:to do their job and help them, right?
820
:So let's not talk about that
By the way, if you're listening
821
:do your job like if you want a
referral from me Know who it is.
822
:You want me to introduce you to i'll tell
you if I know them instantly And then i'll
823
:tell you if I want to introduce you or not
and we'll both save a lot of time You What
824
:are some of the things that people have
done that are coming into relationship
825
:with you that from your perspective,
which is cool I think it's really
826
:bitching people but from your perspective,
what are some of the things that you
827
:have found make you want to refer more
828
:or be willing to refer first?
829
:Yeah I, it comes down to this is, when
I see one of the really cool things I
830
:get is because I'm usually involved.
831
:Whatever you want to call it, the
strategic planning level, and with
832
:that people confuse that, but I'm
really referring to the plan of the
833
:company and all the major things
they're doing to move the dial.
834
:I'm not talking about your day
to day stuff, but I'm talking
835
:about what big things you're
doing to help grow your company.
836
:And that piece that piece
beside it, I run into, I start
837
:as an auditor, I see problems.
838
:I see problems.
839
:That's, it's literally my,
it's one of my horrible gifts.
840
:I see a lot of crap and
it doesn't bother me.
841
:It's just, I see it.
842
:And the reality is I can't
solve all those problems.
843
:I find it my duty when I see a problem
I can't solve, this is why I have
844
:partners and referral partners I
connect with, is I need to connect
845
:them with that trusted referral partner
because I have a duty to make sure
846
:that my client is being taken care of.
847
:And when you live in the, this is a
big world with lots of opportunity as
848
:opposed to a scarcity it's only mine.
849
:Then you can be more generous.
850
:And then what you find is it is a big
world and the generosity can return
851
:and come back if it does or doesn't,
but it will in some way, shape or form.
852
:Perhaps that referral won't be,
the person you're helping with,
853
:but that person 2 or 3 down.
854
:I got a call today from somebody
I had no connection with.
855
:found out they had a copy of
my book they were reading.
856
:I was like, I had no idea, right?
857
:And they were like referred to, and
I said if you're part of 40X, could
858
:you talk to Jim Hewling and dah.
859
:You don't always know where
the seeds are planted.
860
:But what is important is that
you respect the process with
861
:everybody that you're connecting
and meeting with as best you can.
862
:Yes.
863
:And recognize that we all have our gifts.
864
:We served people in different ways.
865
:So I guess that's the core of it.
866
:Mike is answering.
867
:I believe we have a duty to help our
clients and to not hold them back.
868
:And when we can't do it
ourselves, even if it's in our
869
:core business, that's not right.
870
:If you know somebody else could
do better, it's your duty to make
871
:sure that they're getting the best.
872
:Absolutely.
873
:And that's the core.
874
:That's when I think is the difference.
875
:But once again, it's when referrals work
better is when you're not afraid to give
876
:and the good news is right when you give
it's just the just like why we like to
877
:give a portion of our revenues to client,
out to charity is because we do it because
878
:we believe it's the right thing to do.
879
:But it's amazing.
880
:The reciprocation comes back and
you end up getting business from
881
:people you never dreamed of.
882
:So that Dude, it's so cool.
883
:Like it is so cool.
884
:I agree with everything you said.
885
:What's really cool is I just shared on
LinkedIn reposted a clip from a podcast.
886
:I was on with my friends,
Larry Levine and Dale, Amy, the
887
:sign from the heart podcast.
888
:Those are servants, those guys.
889
:Actually I've known Larry for almost
nine years and we've never met.
890
:And yet every time we talk to each other,
we tell each other, we love each other.
891
:It's so you can do it digitally.
892
:But he's special.
893
:One of the clips is what
people don't understand.
894
:And this is, I want to run this by you.
895
:I think I've talked about it.
896
:People are like, what really makes a
strategic, scalable referral system work?
897
:And I said the only limitation is your
commitment to personal development.
898
:I said, because this referrals like,
and it's not a positive, this is not
899
:a pro of referral systems because You
will be exposed if you're trying to
900
:do this to scale your organization.
901
:You'll be exposed as to who you are
And you so you need to know who you
902
:are and you need to be comfortable with
your weaknesses and your strengths but
903
:secondly your this game The referral
game is dependent upon your commitment
904
:to personal development your commitment
to challenge yourself to be introspective
905
:To look out and to grow and without
a doubt The best referral sources
906
:that I've ever met are avid readers.
907
:They're avid learners.
908
:And I'm going to make it
real simple for the audience.
909
:If you want to get lots of referrals for
me, lots to really successful people.
910
:You have to be interesting to my client.
911
:That's a multimillionaire when they're
not in the market for what you do.
912
:That's right.
913
:And so like earlier on, you were talking
about this transactional concept, like if
914
:you're only interesting and valuable when
the client's ready to buy, that doesn't
915
:mean I'm not going to refer to you.
916
:Correct.
917
:That is correct.
918
:You're not dead to me.
919
:That's right.
920
:But the problem is, If you're in a and
this comes back to your the thing you're
921
:talking about where there's traction
and high value And the crowd like when
922
:I interact with someone like and you're
becoming that person who understands the
923
:value of more socially type Introductions
to a target market at the very top of the
924
:funnel before the buying process starts.
925
:I hate to say it But if you're somebody
like carl that's only communicating
926
:to me about you wanting to meet
people when they're ready to buy I
927
:might have already had carl in there
928
:and that's right.
929
:And so that's what I tell people
is, but that personal development,
930
:that, that ability, like the fact
you wrote a book makes it easier
931
:for me to refer you because now I
can mitigate risk with these people.
932
:Why should I refer you?
933
:I wrote a book to make it easy for
you to let people figure out if
934
:they like what I talk about before
they have to waste time with me.
935
:Oh, how much is your book girl 20 bucks.
936
:I bought it.
937
:I can't remember what I
paid for it Doesn't matter.
938
:I just bought it.
939
:I heard you talk about the oil.
940
:I was like damn Hey, that was super cool.
941
:By the way, you wrote an article
About it right after that.
942
:That was thank you.
943
:That was really special that
you had done that I had to do
944
:you have a little bit more time.
945
:I've got two minutes before I gotta
pop it in So let's go real quick.
946
:We're like, so thanks for being here
Folks you need to connect with carl
947
:and if you're a business owner You
need to ask them about the oil well
948
:versus selling a business Because
that was the most Useful way that i've
949
:ever heard to talk to business owners
about whether they should really be
950
:looking to sell or not It was and i've
said that to a lot of business owners.
951
:It's amazing carl So brother in
every sense of the word, for coming
952
:on the podcast It's been amazing.
953
:Where can people find you?
954
:Hey, Mike, thank you so much.
955
:It's been an honor to be a guest.
956
:I look forward to our
continued relationship.
957
:So that's number one.
958
:Number two just Google me, Carl J.
959
:Cox, not Carl Cox.
960
:Otherwise you're going
to come up with the DJ.
961
:Okay.
962
:But Carl J.
963
:Cox or 40 strategy.
964
:com.
965
:Tons of information,
books, podcasts, et cetera.
966
:And just reach out and my
L even share my Carl J.
967
:Cox at four zero strategy.
968
:And the book's lost at CEO.
969
:It's freaking.
970
:Anyways.
971
:Thanks brother.
972
:Appreciate you.
973
:Thank you.
974
:All right.
975
:Take care.