In this first episode of The Sight Side, host James Hickey shares his origin story—from truck driver to systems integration specialist in nine months.

James explores why trucking was his “unicorn profession,” how a hip injury forced a sudden life pivot, and what happened when a single sentence in a peer recovery training shut him down completely:

“Instead of asking what’s wrong with you, ask what happened to you.”

That question led to a formal autism and ADHD diagnosis at 45, medication that silenced decades of chronic negative self-talk, and a complete reframe of what he had spent his entire life calling “broken.”

This episode also introduces the concept of Applied Neurodivergence—the deliberate and systematic use of neurodivergent cognitive patterns as functional assets rather than pathologies.

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t fit, like you’re surviving instead of thriving, or like you’ve been asking yourself the wrong question—this episode is for you.

Topics Covered:

• Why trucking is the “unicorn profession” for AuDHD brains

• The pivot: injury, depression, and rebuilding from zero

• “What’s wrong with you?” vs. “What happened to you?”

• Late diagnosis at 45: autism, ADHD, and finally having language

• Medication, executive function, and the silencing of chronic negative self-talk

• Masking, survival, and the suicide risk nobody talks about

• Bottom-up processing and cognitive latency

• Neurodivergent productivity: the JPMorgan and HP studies

• From surviving to thriving: why this podcast exists

Resources Mentioned:

• From Liquor to Dhikr by James Hickey

• Path of the Sober Seeker podcast

• PathWays Collective — pathwayscollective.net

• JPMorgan Chase Autism at Work Program

Connect:

• Website: pathwayscollective.net

• Email: james@pathwayscollective.net

This is a long-form origin episode and sets the conceptual foundation for future, more narrowly focused discussions.

Hello everybody and welcome to the Site side podcast.

My name is James and I'm gonna be your host today.

The site side is a podcast where we explore the realm

of applied neurodivergence in life and in the workplace.

Uh, this is episode one.

This is the origin story.

This is where I'm just gonna come out, introduce myself, tell you a

little bit about my story, how I got here, my vision for the podcast, and

where I believe we can go with this.

Um, basically nine months ago, and this all transpired in the last nine months,

nine months ago, I was a truck driver.

Over the road driving a big semi all over the place.

Um, and today I run a consulting firm that's built entirely on

cognitive patterns that I've been trying to hide for the last 40 years.

And I wanna tell you what happened in between and how we got here

from trucking to consulting.

And it's a little bit of, a little bit of a bumpy ride, but just bear with me.

Hopefully we can find some value in this.

Uh, last April I was still driving a truck.

Uh, I've been in a trucker for about the past five years, and out of

all the different jobs and careers and industries that I've worked in,

trucking was the best fit overall.

Um, and I didn't know it at the time, but trucking was what I

would call my unicorn profession.

And the reason I didn't know is because I have always been

autistic and I've always had a DHD.

Um, I'd always suspected the A DHD part.

Um, it's something I never really looked into.

Um, but I've been plagued by the usual A DHD, untreated side effects, um, anxiety,

depression, laziness, which I didn't know was executive dysfunction today.

I have language for that, but I'd always been accused of being

LA lazy, uh, failure to launch.

You know, I could never get.

Going, I can never get motivated.

I can never achieve anything.

Um, I would job hop, I would hobby hop, I'd get bored so quickly because

I was, you know, I had the mind where I'm always chasing novelty,

always chasing the next big thing.

I didn't have any concept of internal dopamine regulation,

so I would try to fill that in with anything novel I could find.

Um, trying to fill that hole, which could never really be filled.

Um, the reality is, you know, my brain doesn't regulate dopamine on its own, so I

was on a constant, constant search for it.

Since then, I've been formerly diagnosed with Level one Autism and A DHD.

So now I realize why trucking was such a great fit.

You know, the view would change every day.

I was always on the move.

I'd be living life at 70 miles an hour.

I had my own space.

The inside of the cab.

It was mine and mine alone, and there was enough.

Novelty and variety and especially stress to keep my mind occupied.

Um, like many people with a DHD, I maintain a sense of

hyper-awareness about everything.

Basically stuck in flight or flight mode at all times.

So trucking was a lot of high stress situations that really fed

into that a DHD side of my brain.

Uh, I would rise to the occasion.

I used to laugh about how it wouldn't be a real workday unless I almost

died at least once, which is very true for trucking because it's one

of the few professions where you can do everything right and still die.

Um, and the pro, the profession also aided my autistic side.

Uh, the inside mind that crave structure.

I crave repetition and there were so many rules and so many things

that I could just really dive into.

Safety standards, you know, documentation, standards.

Um, I used to love trip planning, all the different math, all the different loads

and arrival windows and hours of service.

And there were all these different systems that I would be running at

the same time, and it would be up to me to coordinate all of that.

Um, and trucking overall also scratched another psychological itch that I have,

and that's maladaptive daydreaming.

Um, in my case, it was a trauma response that followed me into adulthood.

I'd always get lost in these long and complicated daydreams, uh,

that would sometimes devolve into autistic rumination, but most of the

time it was just genuine fantasy.

It was an internal escape.

My mind would default to, uh, whenever I wasn't being stressed out.

So trucking would satisfy this because half the time I would be in hypervigilant

fight or flight mode, uh, you know, in rush hour, Houston traffic, for example.

Or I'd have these wide open stretches of road with not a lot going on, so I could

just stare out the window in daydream.

I mean, that's what's magical about trucking.

It's literally the only profession that pays you to stare

out the window and daydream.

However, in April, uh, I suffered an injury.

It wasn't work related.

Um, I fell down a couple stairs.

I ended up having a fall.

It was pretty bad.

It's resulted in a pretty severe hip injury that eventually required surgery

and basically my world fell apart.

You know, what I had been using is not only an occupation, but just as

every day, you know, I was a trucker.

It was my, you know, a lot of my identity was tied up in that.

Um, and I was outta work.

I couldn't work and I had no direction.

I fell into a pretty deep depression and, um, I had

considered relapse more than once.

Um.

This brings me to another point of my story.

I am in recovery.

I've been clean and sober for over six years.

Um, and this is something else that ties into Neurodivergence as a whole,

is substance use disorders plague our community at a pretty high rate.

Um, but I don't want to delve too much into the addiction side of things.

Um, this is about how I got here.

Uh, the fact is that I was in a very, very dark place, um, with, you

know, it was in a very dark place, and April was a serious gut check.

To me.

Um, and I had to pivot and I had to pivot very, very quickly.

Um, so I had, you know, been involved in recovery for a while and I had a book that

was ruminating in my mind for some time.

Uh, so I finally wrote and published my book from Liquor to Thicker, which

examines the 12 steps of Recovery through the lens of Islamic Spirituality.

And for those of you who listen to my other podcast, the Path of

the Sober Seeker, you're already familiar with this material.

Basically, it was a book that needed to be written.

Um, and it gave me, you know, gave me something to focus on so

I wasn't so, you know, depressed with my injury and whatnot.

I was able to actually fo, you know, for, for a time focus on it.

Um.

While I was writing it though, it suggested that maybe I could find

a career in the recovery field.

Um, I was fairly active in recovery circles and I'd been helping people

in this regard for many, many years.

So why not make it official?

Right?

So I got to studying.

Um, I ended up, got the coursework and got A-C-D-C-A license, um,

the chemical dependency counselor assistant with the State of Ohio,

which is a pure, purely clinical role.

And while I was doing that, I also applied for and received a peer recovery

supporter license, which is something a. Far, it's in the same vein as recovery.

Uh, in my opinion it's a little bit more useful, uh, but it is harder to achieve.

Uh, peer support licenses are only granted to those who have actual

lived experience with substance use disorders or mental illness.

Uh, you basically have to have been there and done that.

Um, you had to earn that by sacrificing a big chunk of your life to the

nightmare of active addiction.

Um, which any of you who are in recovery, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Um, you have to earn your seat with it.

So this is where I had a major pivot point, a major epiphany, um, with my life.

I was doing the training modules for the peer recovery supporter, and

there was one small line that did it.

It was just one little sentence that changed everything for me.

Um, I was doing the trauma module talking about trauma, trauma responses

and how that applies to not only active addiction, but the re recovery.

And, uh, this, this line, it, it wrecked me guys.

It really did.

I went into an actual shutdown.

Basically it said, instead of asking someone what is wrong with

you, you ask what happened to you?

And I stopped.

I literally just stopped.

I read it again and again and again.

Uh, because like many other neurodivergent people, especially

undiagnosed, I've never fit in anywhere.

We just don't.

We just don't fit in.

And I've always been socially mar marginalized.

I've always been excluded in time after time.

My social awkwardness would lead people to shout.

What's wrong with you?

You know, I've had employers, bosses.

What's wrong with you?

Why would you do that?

What is wrong with you?

Uh, it would be my entire childhood.

Why, why would you do that?

Why would you say that to them?

What's wrong with you?

Uh, like I knew, like I had an answer.

You know?

I was trying to do my best, but I couldn't.

Say that, you know, I couldn't say what's wrong with me, and the very

question, what's wrong with you?

It has no actual answer that's gonna satisfy someone who asks it, but

the pivot hit me hard 'cause it had never occurred to me, and no one had

ever asked me what happened to you.

How did you get here?

No one had ever showed me that kind of compassion.

Uh, and I've never even showed myself that kind of compassion.

So what did happen?

You know, that opened the door to a lot of trauma that I had experienced and

lived through my life, and it forced me to look at the actual events, like

what had actually happened to me.

Uh, and that led me down a deep, deep rabbit hole.

I started doing research into trauma.

I started doing research into my history, you know, kind of digging up

things and seeing what, what happened, you know, all those times where people

were like, what happened to you?

Okay, what was the situation?

What, you know, what, not, what's wrong with me?

But what happened?

And I did this, you know, I was pretty, pretty passionate about this.

'cause if I was gonna be a trauma informed peer supporter, I had

to reconcile my own trauma first.

And during this research, this one term kept surfacing over and over again.

And that's neurodivergence, which is something I never really looked into.

However, there was a pattern here, and at the time I wasn't even

really aware of what I was seeing.

Um, and I was, you know, I'd see this pop up as neurodivergence.

I wasn't too, you know, it was still, still new to me.

And finally I had a moment, I was looking at a meme on Facebook and

it basically said the best way to ruin an A DHD person's day is to

give them a 3:00 PM appointment.

And I'm like, wow, that resonated.

'cause over 40 years, if I have any kind of late in the day engagement,

I'd be in perpetual waiting mode.

I can't focus on anything.

I can't do anything except anticipate and wait for that appointment.

Um, and I can't tell you why I did it.

It was just my reality, but it hit me pretty hard.

So I started to look into a DHD.

Seriously look into it.

And while I was down that rabbit hole, I started to learn more

about Asperger's Syndrome, what today we call level one autism.

And a lot of that was resonating with me too.

Um, it would explain pretty much why I said what I said, my, you know,

unnatural bluntness, my inability to engage in small talk or really be overly

social, which is kind of a, um, it's kind of ironic because I've always

been outgoing, just I'm not social, but you know, if you know, you know.

Uh, but you know, as I'm going through all that, there was enough evidence

and enough resonance that, um, I actually started to take some online.

I actually started to take some online, uh, testing for autism spectrum disorder.

There's a few different online tests you can try.

Um, and I did, you know, I took three of 'em.

I took three separate ones, and all three of them pointed to me having, um, autism

spectrum disorder, a SD, um, and this, this would be considered a self-diagnosis.

Um, but you know, I still would have that, uh, sense of.

Uh, skepticism, maybe cynicism and online testing is online testing.

You know, it's only gonna go so far.

So, um, I took the results with a grain of salt.

Um, I've always been a believer in the concept of trust but verify.

So I decided to get it verified.

Um, I reached out to a local.

Mental health professionals.

It took me a little bit of digging to find one that would,

um, work with adults for one.

Um, because most of the, most of what's out there as far as services, mental

illness services and um, therapy services are more, you know, when you look for

autism or neurodivergence, a lot of that is geared more towards children and youth,

you know, minors rather than adults.

But finally, I found someone I met with a fantastic psychologist.

She's amazing.

She reads my therapist to this day.

And, um, we, we met, you know, I did the initial intake with

her and I expressed my concerns.

I shared with her a little bit my, my history.

Um, and I think I came in a little bit over prepared.

I had like all the results of all my tests.

I had all these, you know, all these different things.

And it, we kind of laughed about, you know, normal, you know, neurotypical

normal, well adjusted people don't spend hours of intercept internet research,

you know, Googling, am I autistic?

Um, so that alone is pretty much kind of an indicator that yeah,

you might be on the spectrum.

Anyway, so we set up testing across a series of appointments, and the whole

thing took about eight hours total.

And it was a, it was pretty comprehensive.

It was a lot a, a, a lot went into it.

However, the end result, I was officially diagnosed with, um,

autism spectrum disorder level one.

Um, which is, you know, low, low needs.

I would say I'm more one and a half 'cause I have my moments where, uh, uh, you know,

I do, I do need a little bit more support.

Um, and A DHD, so what we'd call A DHD, you know, but, but the

best and worst of both worlds.

Um.

So I need to back this up a little bit.

Um, that while I was going through this process, uh, my personal

life, especially with after that fall was still not the best.

You know, I was still outta work.

Um, I was making ends meet by liquidating my crypto assets.

You know, I'm selling other, you know, selling a 4 0 1 Ks, doing

different things like this to make, basically make ends meet.

'cause I didn't have income.

And I was also undergoing treatment for my hip.

Um, I started with conservative treatment, we're doing physical

therapy, then I had an injection, then I got another injection.

I'm getting MRIs, I'm doing x-rays.

And this was spread out over several months.

Um, and finally I had, um, finally I, you know, ended up meeting

with a surgeon and doing a, um, serious sur surgical consultation.

And all this was new to me because I've never been seriously

injured like this before.

So this was my first introduction to the, uh, I guess, medical

industry as a patient.

Um, and some was good, some was, you know, I thank, thankfully I

have, you know, thankfully, um, I have pretty good insurance.

So I was able to go through some pre pretty good hospitals

here in the Cleveland area, had been pretty well taken care of.

Um, so all of this, there was all this treatment.

Uh, but what, what was going on was I, my hip wasn't improving, actually.

It was getting worse.

Uh, it wa it wasn't great.

So I met with a surgeon.

I met with another surgeon, um, and this one was a specialist in hip preservation.

And he explained to me what my options were.

And uh, finally we, we picked one and a few weeks later I had surgery for

the first time in my life, and then rehab, and then physical therapy.

And I still continued treatments to the day.

But the point is that this summer and fall were periods of very,

very, very intense change for me.

And I was dealing with problems I'd never dealt with before.

I had problems in areas where before I didn't even have areas.

So I was coming to, you know, I was forced to really, really

adjust things on the fly.

And, um, I, like many people with Neurodivergence, I

don't always transition well.

With it.

Um, so, but I was coming to a lot of different realizations and, um, it,

it was, you know, it wasn't great.

Uh, there's a saying, I kept telling myself over and over again, it's that

the, uh, the pain of change is forgotten once the benefit of change is realized.

And it sounds, it's one of those like platitudes you kind

of tell yourself in the moment.

It might not feel good in the moment, but it actually turned out to be true.

Uh, because finally I started to get the benefit of the change.

You know, we talk about in recovery circles that nothing

changes if nothing changes.

And I needed to make, you know, I needed to make a change somewhere.

Um, so after receiving my formal diagnosis, um, I started

to realize these benefits.

Um, for example, I had been surviving life with untreated A DHD.

You know, I had a, um, you know, especially the A DHD was bad.

I'd been a lifelong three inning ball player.

You know, I was constitutionally incapable following through on anything.

Um, you know, like many of us, I have a whole hobby graveyard out in my garage.

You know, we start things, we don't finish them.

Um.

And I routinely fell pre to like my own executive dysfunction.

Um, and that's where I would be like, in this loop, I'd be like, oh my heart.

I would wanna get up and do whatever I had to do.

I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

I'd be in whatever thought loop, whatever, you know, um, focus tunnel I was on.

Um, and I would jump through like these crazy mental gymnastics.

'cause I could never change my behavior to meet my goals.

So instead I would change my goals to match my behavior, which wasn't, you

know, wasn't helping me get anywhere.

So finally I had help.

I had some help.

My doctor prescribed me Vyvanse, which was an absolute game changer for me.

I had never been medicated for my, uh, a DHD side.

Never been medicated for any of this before.

And from day one, it was the, it it, I got real emotional.

I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna level with the eyes.

It was, it, it, it flipped a switch for me.

Um, 'cause all my life I've had this voice inside.

It was, I call it death's radio because all it wanted for me was to die.

It was this total negative self-talk.

Uh, basically this 24 hour voice inside just bullying me about everything.

24 hours.

It would never shut up.

And finally it came with a volume switch.

Uh, it was, that voice turned, it was totally cut off.

I wasn't in this, um, these negative ruminations anymore.

Um, I found for the first time I had function, I was able

to actually get things done.

I had follow through and, uh, it was, it was amazing.

I could think of a task and actually get up and do it, and I'm like, this

is how normal people live their life.

Like, you think of something and just do it.

Like, I didn't have to fight for myself.

I didn't get sidetracked.

I didn't get, you know, following all these side quests.

I was able to actually get done what I set out to get done.

And it was funny 'cause when I started this treatment, my doctor and I sat down

and he basically said, uh, I wanna get a list of goals for you so that we can,

you know, make sure the medication's working, uh, benchmarks that we can

use to, we know whether or not, you know, whether or not this is effective.

Um, and he had said that the, you know what, usually when they

do this, Vyvanse is generally.

It's more for, you know, minors for youth who get prescribed this and

their metric is grades in school.

Um, I didn't have that since obviously, you know, I wasn't in school at the time

and, um, but I had a bunch of projects and things I'd been putting off for years

and years and years, like reorganizing home, deep cleaning, cleaning out clutter.

I had a lot of mess that I had to get cleaned up and.

I, um, you know, it's stuff I'd been putting off, you know, things

that, you know, a bunch of half done projects, a lot of things that just

executive dysfunction got the better of.

And let me tell you guys, even with my mobility jacked up because of my hips,

I got through everything, my entire backlog of TA tasks in eight days.

I did it all in the first eight days.

Um, and for the first time, like my entire, everything was

clean and tidy, everything that had a place was in its place.

You know, I had actual organization and I could maintain it.

I had actual function and it was, uh, an eye opener.

And it gave me a, uh, a total change in perspective actually.

This, this realization of being neurodivergent gave me a lens

that I could review my past.

And I looked at a lot of things and a lot of things were

starting to make more sense.

You know, I realized I've been living my entire life with a

literal disability untreated, uh, you know, no help, no anything.

Um, and I've been living life's basically hard mode.

I didn't even know why.

And now that I knew the why, I could focus on the how.

Because you know why is always about the past.

When you ask why something happened or whatever it is, it always has

something to do with the past.

But how that's my work.

'cause how is about the future?

How are we gonna fix it?

How are we gonna move forward?

How are we gonna benefit from this?

So with this newfound clarity, I started to examine how I was

functioning in various roles, um, both professional and personal.

How I was functioning as an employee through all the

different careers I've had.

Um, how I was functioning as a husband, a father, a brother, a son.

You know how I was just as a person.

And I finally realized that the answer to what is wrong with you.

Uh, uh, it's not that I'm autistic at all.

Um, 'cause there's nothing wrong with being neurodivergent.

Um, so it wasn't necessarily like that was anything wrong with me, but it

did explain a lot of what I was doing.

So instead of what was wrong with me, what happened to me.

And what happened was I was living life with a cognitive handicap that had never

been addressed, and that's what happened.

I was merely just surviving.

That's how I exactly view it.

You know, I'm a survivor and the term is very apt. You know, it was, it

wasn't until recently actually that I was looking at what the, uh, suicide

statistics are for neurodivergent people and autistic adults are two to four

times more likely to experience su.

Suicide, um, you know, ideation, thoughts, uh, even follow

through than neurotypical adults.

And some studies even show that it's nine times higher suicide mortality in autistic

adults without intellectual disability.

Um, and the same thing applies to A-D-H-D-A-D-H-D People have

two to three times higher risk.

So when you couple, you know, A DHD with the co-occurring depression,

anxiety, substance abuse, uh, the risk is pretty extreme.

The risk really comes from us trying to live and survive in a world that is

just not built for our nervous system.

And I'll admit over the years, um, especially while I was still in

active addiction, I had some very, very dark moments and I came close

to, you know, ending it a few times, uh, that I barely, barely survived.

And even now looking back at it, I could see why, you know, it

was fueled by my neurodivergence and just not knowing my place.

Um, and I'm pretty sure most of the audience, especially if you've

been, you know, struggling with Neurodivergence, you, you can understand

where I'm coming from with this.

So I see myself as a survivor.

You know, I survived untreated neurodivergence.

Um, and that's another reason I wanted to start this podcast, is to reach out

to other survivors like me, others who might have been late diagnosed, uh, a

little bit late to the party with this.

But now we realize what is, you know, really what are, uh.

Major road, what our major roadblocks and hurdles have been.

You know, we've been basically raw dogging life up until we received that clarity.

So, uh, you know, with this realization and with this new lens of neurodivergence,

I was really did a deep dive into my past to suss out all of the why's.

That's what I was really after was the why's.

Uh, and I started to come to these realizations.

I came to realize that, um, I was a mismatch for a lot of my past.

Situations, you know, especially employment, especially like social

situations, um, and other ones I was a perfect fit for especially

situations that demanded results.

Um, I realized in more, most of my normal styles of cognition, stuff that I took

for granted, bottom up processing, pattern recognition, uh, are in fact abnormal

compared to the rest of the world.

And that in that abnormality though, there's value.

Um, I've always been someone who I notice things that other people don't notice.

Um, sometimes it's like quirky observations.

Other times it's led to some pretty severe social catastrophes.

'cause, you know, with a DHD, very little impulse control.

And my, you know, my mouth runs faster than my brain oftentimes.

Uh, and this brought me to a whole other realization.

Is that since I've always been uncomfortable in my own skin and

especially uncomfortable in social, social situations, uh, I do what's

called masking and all of us who are, um, you know, especially adults with,

you know, DD living with Neurodivergence, you know all about what masking is.

Basically it means fake it till you make it.

Um, trying to fit in on the outside while I'm barely maintaining On the

inside, I would say it's like a duck.

You know, you see a duck, it just looks like it's sitting there floating, calm

and suring on the surface, but underneath he's just paddling for his dear life, and

that's how I felt inside all the time.

Masking.

Absolutely exhausting.

Um.

But I managed to evolve, you know, with masking.

And I would put together like different, um, I guess conversation trees, different

like personalities and things that I would piece together, uh, from watching

other people, watching tv, watching, like all these different things.

I'm like, okay, well this is how you act in this situation.

Um, and I would mimic it and basically put together a, uh, pretty larger

than life personality fueled by A DHD.

Um, any of you guys who know me personally, you know, how you, you,

you know, how, how it could get, um.

I would be.

Uh, but a lot of this was calculated too.

Um, I found a lot of times in social situations if I was like

aggressively friendly or overly friendly and overly extroverted.

Um, I found that I could dictate the tempo, tempo of an encounter

and I wouldn't feel so out of place.

Um, and this turned out on some, some hands it would work.

Other times it would be really, really off putting.

Um, however, once I got medicated though, I realized the medication fixed that

almost overnight, like the Vyvanse got it.

Uh, I got got rid of it almost completely, and I no longer feel or

even felt the need to perform anymore.

It's really, it's really wild how that works.

Um, one thing I will say is I was warned that with a dual diagnosis of A DHD, once

the A DHD part was, uh, handled with the, with the medication, a lot of the autistic

tendencies would come to the surface.

And as I've, you know, gone on this.

Journey.

I found that this turns out to be very, very true.

Uh, especially with sensory issues.

I have a lot less tolerance for loud noises.

Um, I have a really hard time filtering out like background noise, um, before

it wouldn't be that much of an issue.

Now, uh, noise canceling headphones are my best friend.

Um, I find that I'm not nearly spontaneous.

I have a lot better, um, impulse control.

Also, I don't chase things like I used to.

I don't, um, I, you know, I haven't played video games.

I haven't watched tv.

None of that interests me.

Um, I've been very, very focused on this project right now and

it's kind of wild to me how I have control over what I can focus.

I guess that's one of the other major, major changes with this.

Um, because before I would never know where my hyper focus would land.

You know, it could be something useful.

Most of the time it was some frivolous nonsense.

I'd be staying up all night reading about Nazi UFOs or some other

nonsense, you know, fringe topics.

I've always been a special interest of mine, but I would dive

into these hour long loopholes.

Meanwhile, I'm like literally calling off work so I could read up about

Hitler and his flying saucers.

True story.

It's freaking wild.

How the, you know, how under divergent brain will work.

Um.

So, but I found that especially medicated, I have total control over

these hyper-focused tunnels now.

Um, now instead of focusing on things that would interest me, I'm not,

uh, I, I'm not trying to fi fill the dopamine hole anymore so I can

focus on things, what I want to.

Um, I, I can focus on things with intensity, what I want to, uh, instead

of what just naturally draws me in.

Um, and this has actually turned out to be pretty effective.

Um, you know, for the first time in my life, this coupled with executive

function and follow through, I'm able to do some pretty, pretty amazing things.

So that brings me to why we're here and why this podcast, and what does this

podcast really have to do with anything.

So when I started to look at, uh, what my actual achievements were, you

know, not only the road to getting to this diagnosis, but the everything

I've achieved over the years, um, I started to realize that maybe I'm not

as much of a failure as I thought I was.

You know, like I said, I would have that internal voice all the

time, uh, really downplaying.

But I came to realize that I've done some pretty, pretty interesting things.

Um, even after, like before I was medicated, I managed

to get two state licenses.

I started an LLC.

Uh, I wrote a book, I wrote two companion guides for the book.

Um, and I started my path of the Sober Seeker Podcast, uh, all this

while treating my, treating my injury.

Most of that was, uh, pre, you know, pre-surgery.

So, you know, maybe, maybe I was more capable of, you know, capable of way more

than what I was giving myself credit for.

And my psychologist told me that she wanted me to do the full

assessment just so I would know where, what I was capable of.

And since I've always been someone who downplays my ability and my role

in things, um, which I do naturally, uh, but that's, that's, uh, you know,

attitude that isn't serving me at all.

So when I took another look at the body of work that I had achieved

over the last few months, uh, through the lens of Neurodivergence, I was

shocked, uh, at what I was capable of.

Um, my book, you know, from Liquor to Thicker, uh, just on the surface

is a journey of the 12 steps of AA through the lens of Islam.

You know, we touched on that, uh, which was, you know, something

I've seen a lot of overlap with.

Uh, but what I didn't know is that my pattern recognition was at work and, um.

Well, looking at it, my book itself, it's a masterclass in systems integration.

You know, it's a highly marketable skill that I didn't even

know I was capable of using.

I didn't even know I had it.

And I realized a lot of my other neurodivergent skills are marketable

and unique and pretty astounding.

Um, I realized that my hyper vigilance, uh, when I was over the road was both

real time and predictive risk management.

You know, I've always had a gift for spotting small problems

before they become big problems.

And this has saved my various employers, many heartaches and grief over the years.

Um, and my default setting for processing information is bottom up.

You know, we call it, we call it bottom up processing.

Basically I see details and pat details first and pattern second, which is very

valuable, uh, because I'm mixed, capable of extracting the data from the noise.

You know, I understand builds and systems from raw, you know, I understand

builds and I systems and things from raw sensory data and details, um,

and follow that upward demean rather than just the neurotypical method

of starting with assumptions or context and filtering down a meaning.

Um, so I have to build, build my way up there.

And this was a breakthrough moment for me because it, um, it kind

of explained some of my behavior.

Um, I had always been accused of being reactive, spastic, especially when I was

a child and in the middle of meltdowns.

And it was because of overstimulation.

I was taking in so much sensory data and I didn't have the context for it.

Um, and all I knew was what was happening.

I didn't know the why.

And it explained quite a bit.

It was, um, it explained quite a bit because it explained, uh, what I was

doing wasn't necessarily reaction.

It was latency.

And since I was experiencing cognitive latency, it didn't mean I didn't

really think about my actions, it just meant I had reacted before thinking.

So all this time, it wasn't what's wrong with you, it's what happened to you.

And what happened was I was experiencing latency.

So the point I'm getting to and why my pathway is collective.

Consulting firm and why this podcast and why I'm doing all of this is

realizing that my neurodivergence and cognitive skill are actually

an asset rather than a liability.

Given the right environment, um, I've always been able to thrive

and this has been consistent, uh, pretty consistent data, um, across

all neuro, all, you know, many, many neurodivergent people in the workplace.

Um, there was a 2022 study done by JP Morgan Chase's Autism at Work Program.

It showed that autistic professionals in tech roles, um, with, you know, job

matching and support were 90 to 140% more productive than neurotypical employees,

and also committed fewer errors.

Uh, Hewlett Packard Enterprise, um, they did a software testing program with

Australia's Department of Human Services and found that neurodiverse teams, many

of them autistic, were 30% more productive than neurotype neurotypical teams.

Um, and, you know, grand in, these are both internal studies done in industry.

They're company led, they're not academic, not peer reviewed science.

Um, still those figures are pretty eye-opening.

And I can tell you from personal experience that if I am interested

or engaged in something that triggers my hyperfocus, my overall production

or for whatever the project is or whatever the rabbit hole is,

is pretty, pretty astounding.

Um, and I'd wager that anyone with a DHD can relate.

You know, when you find a new hobby that is really scratching that

novelty itch for you, um, your hyper focus is pretty amazing.

So now, you know, imagine being able to capitalize on that.

As neurodivergent people, we all have a unique set of skills, and more

importantly, we have unique perceptions that can add value to any business.

Um, and I say perspective is our most important aspect because

as a whole we tend to notice things that other people do not.

Um, you know, one of the scariest things for any leader, um,

anywhere are the unknown unknowns.

You know, you, you know what, you know, um, you could plan for the

known unknowns, but what is gonna get, you are the unknown, unknown.

So things that no one in the room thought to look at.

Um, and these are things that can eventually surface

with catastrophic results.

Um, but I feel like adding some neurodiversity to that planning session

might've just uncovered that unknown and would've averted, averted a big mess.

So that's the point of the podcast.

You know, I wanna help my fellow Neurodivergence understand

the value of their uniqueness.

Um, I wanna connect with leaders in business industry and help them realize

what, you know, what neurodivergent employees bring to the table, what we

can contribute to the organization.

And ideally, you know, we can work together towards mutual prosperity.

Um, so I wanna thank everyone for tuning into the first episode.

Um, you know, it's gonna get better from here.

This is a, um, you know, I just wanna introduce myself, give a, uh,

give a quick shout out to everyone.

Um, and thank, thank you again.

So, you know, if any part of this resonated with you, um, I want you

to know that one, you're not alone.

You're not lazy.

And you're not broken.

You know, you've been surviving in an environment that never really learned

how to read you or how to help you.

And this podcast is for all of you.

Um, this podcast is to help cross that threshold so we can

move from surviving to thriving.

So I wanna invite all of you to come with me.

Let's evolve together and I'll catch you on the next episode of the site side.