A woman who knows she’s not meant to be seen by everyone. She’s here to be known by the right ones.
There is a version of visibility I wish someone had shared with me earlier. Not the kind that measures your worth in posting frequency or asks you to scatter your presence across fourteen platforms just to stay relevant.
This week's conversation with Brielle Cotterman is an invitation to show up with depth, self-assurance, and the unshakable certainty that presence, not volume, is what creates the rooms worth being in.
What I love most about Brielle's approach is that it honors the woman you've already become. It doesn't ask you to start over or hustle harder. It asks you to discern. To know what you stand for, to choose the rooms that genuinely move your mission forward, and to build a network of people who speak your name when you're not in the room.
In This Episode We Explore:
The four pillars of an Influential Leader: credibility, visibility, communication, and network, and why every thought leader you admire has all four dialed in. These aren't separate strategies but an interconnected system.
Why both traditional and non-traditional credibility markers matter and why the non-traditional ones are often what make you the one people remember. Traditional credibility comes from education and career achievements. Your life experience is a credibility marker too, and it's often the one that creates the deepest human connection.
The myth of being everywhere, and what twelve intentional visibility moments a year can do instead. Showing up consistently on the right indexed platforms, podcasts, and stages, even just a dozen times a year, will have people feeling like you are everywhere.
The kind of network that has people speaking your name in spaces of opportunity even when you're not in the room. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. When you show up in service with genuine care for the people around you with real presence, referrals, introductions, and opportunities follow.
The ritual Brielle offers for anyone who is ready to start sharing their story. First, tell your story to someone who can help you. Then, begin writing it in third person. Placing yourself one arm's length away from the emotion allows you to see yourself clearly, with compassion and pride for everything you have overcome. Light a candle. Open a journal. Write for five minutes. Start there.
Meet Brielle Cotterman
Brielle Cotterman is an Inc. 5000 speaker, TEDx speaker, Publicity Expert, and Founder and CEO of the Influential Leader Agency. She has spent nearly fifteen years helping clients craft and scale dream careers to multiple 7 figures and beyond by using her trademarked methods to build world renowned personal brands and leverage their stories to create speaking tours, author award-winning books, procure media placements and inspire millions. A World's Champion Equestrian and mother of three, Brielle owns and operates a horse farm where she lives with her husband, three children, 12 horses, mini cow, 3 cats and two dogs.
Brielle is also a survivor of attempted murder and domestic violence, and a devoted advocate for a world where intimate partner abuse is not tolerated and survivors are met with empathy. She doesn't speak about her story as something we extract for visibility. She speaks of it as something we take ownership of when the timing, the healing, and the truth within us are finally ready.
Share it with the woman who is ready to expand her visibility and own her presence without having to be everywhere.
I'd love to know which of the four pillars you're feeling most called to right now. Send me a DM or tag me on Instagram with your biggest takeaway; the shift in how you see your story, the room you're ready to walk into, or the way you're ready to show up as a category of one.
Let's elevate together, one intentional day at a time.
With love & devotion,
Alexia
Transcripts
Welcome to Elevate Daily, the podcast for those ready to elevate their life one intentional day at a time. I'm your host, Alexia Usgaard, here to give you a permission slip to unapologetically savor the beauty and richness of life. Join me as we explore modern rituals, self-leadership, the Gene Keys, and the art of elevating your health, wealth, love, and leadership. It's time to elevate. Let's dive in.
Hello, hello, my loves, and welcome back to Elevate Daily. I'm Alexia Usgaard, and I am so enthused, as always, for today's conversation with Brielle Cotterman.
, graced the Inc.:
She's also a survivor of attempted murder and domestic violence, and she doesn't hide it. It's right in the front of her brand, which completely reframes, I find, what authentic visibility actually means today as a leader. We go deep on the four essential pillars every influential leader needs.Credibility, visibility, communication, and network. And Brielle reveals something I've never heard before: how AI is fundamentally changing the future of search in ways that completely reshape what it means to show up. I also, of course, share a few of Brielle's Gene Keys, her mission code, Gene Key 13, and her magnetism code, Gene Key 20, which are so aligned with the journey she walks and how she shows up in the world. I know you're going to receive so much value from this episode, just like I did. So without further ado, let's dive in with Brielle.
Here we are, Brielle. Welcome to Elevate Daily. It's such a pleasure to have you here in this space.
Well, thank you for having me.
Hmm, it's an absolute treat. There's just so much to your divine story, to your journey that we could touch on today. But I just want to first off, like one thing that sparked me immediately, just looking into your background and to all that you've walked with is what initially?
inspired you to go into the personal branding and publicity space to help people share their stories and their thought leadership in the way that you so beautifully do now.
Excuse me. Well, I mean, it's been an evolution for me, but what initially is I always say I feel like I have been doing this my whole life. It's just always come so naturally to me and I've always looked at visibility and exposure and publicity as an opportunity. And so I feel like I've always viewed it as a tool, as an opportunity to get where you want to go. And then when I was older, you know, like in the workforce and actually like working in the space, what I realized was the way my mind works, publicity, visibility, messaging, allowing people to connect with you and into your space, if you will, that's just always been such a natural thing for me. And I look at it very differently than a traditional PR person, a traditional PR agency, but I've always had the same theories around the value of visibility and allowing people to see the real you.
I mean, isn't that such a testament to the power of I find like anyone who's really on their path. So often we can look back and see that it was the natural part of ourselves that we were sharing. You know, when we were a little girl, when we were a teenager, you know, I've had many reflections of people back from like college days. We're like, Lex, what you do today is like exactly what you used to do at the kitchen table. You know, and so I love that you invite that. So I feel like for anyone listening, it's such a powerful invitation also to go like
What you've been to, yes.
Is there the gift that you have just been doing with so much ease and so much natural joy that could actually be what you're most here to bring forward? So I love that invitation because I just feel like it's such a permission slip for anyone. And I think you name something. Yeah.
Absolutely. And I will say when I stepped into it more recently after everything that had gone on in my life, because I experienced, you know, big T trauma 13 years ago or 14 years ago now. and I had been in space. I had a background in sales and marketing, well-educated, successful. And I became a survivor of attempted murder and domestic violence, which was basically like watching my entire life unravel like a sweater in front of me that someone just pulled the thread and it just started to unravel. And so it obviously sent me into a time and space of healing and self-exploration and healing practices and therapies. I didn't grow up in an abusive household. It was not something that I had been exposed to. I didn't understand all of the warning signs. I'm a very literal person the way my mind works, yet also extremely creative at the same time. And so this felt so foreign to me that I needed to understand one, how I had gotten there and two, how I would never get back there again. And what I discovered during that time when I was doing the work and I was doing the work with a small number of clients for my own sanity. I started in this space as a ghost author, authoring subject matter expert books. So I would learn everything about you, Lex, and then I would become that secondary expert in you and author the book that
shined a light on your expertise and your...
thought leadership. And so I was doing that. I was launching a book for a client in London and she was like, you know, you really have to share your story. You really have to start telling your story. And so this was, you know, five years after the big T trauma that I had experienced and I was feeling it in my heart and in my soul that I knew I knew I needed to. I'm literally sitting there suggesting to people they do this. And at the same time,
hiding behind that story because I never wanted to be labeled as a survivor. I shouldn't say that. I never wanted to be labeled with domestic violence. I'm proud to be a survivor. And when I did finally start sharing my own story, I can tell you with every fiber of my being, I knew that I was doing my soul's work. I knew that I had taken
not just the PR, not just the positioning, not just the work that I was doing serving other people, but by sharing my story, I gave people, like you said, that permission slip to take ownership of their own, which none of us have a spotless experience as part of the human experience. And so when I took that step in the personal branding space, that is when I really became so aligned and I could literally just like my body would vibrate. Like I knew that I was doing what I was intended to do.
I just get full body goosebumps when I hear you share it because there's so many layers in what you said. I think one is like, you took the time to trust your own timing and wanted to share your story. Cause I think there can also be someone who can feel pressure like, I should talk about something immediately, but also honoring you honored your timing and like the way and when it felt. Aligned to share, but then also that urge when you knew it was time. And I'll just say that's what stood out to me about you from the first moment was.
Absolutely.
Well, thank you.
I've seen a lot of media, PR, visibility, information, insights, just that content. I can only say from my own journey too, I like there's been times people have tried to almost strip back me telling more of my human story. I've had to even work through that part of myself over the years that at times, to this day, if someone asked me in a podcast interview about my story, I can't avoid...the very human grief part of my story. I can't avoid the very human deep vulnerability part. And anytime I've watched someone over the years try to take that part out of my story or say, you know, maybe it's not relevant for like based on specifically what you're doing. It just feels like a whole part of me and a huge part of my why is missing. And so I felt like when I saw you and when I saw you share, I could feel that I was actually getting to feel the full picture in a way that felt really unique.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Well, thank you for saying that.
And felt really different and felt special because I think to your point, it's like, I think almost pressure becomes to build also as people get more and more successful, like all these ideals that you're supposed to be quite professional and you shouldn't talk about these parts of yourself, but let's be real. Like the version of you today who's gone through something so hard and so difficult, that's a part of you that's so shaped and a huge part of probably what makes you just phenomenal at your body of work is rooted in some huge pieces of that.
Absolutely.
And so I love that you bring that forward.
That's right. And you know what I always do,thank you. And you know what I always tell our clients too is you don't have to live in that story. Like you mentioned, you have to be healed before you can share these types of massive stories. And just a caveat, you do not have to have a eat, pray, love moment where you sold everything and moved to Bali or this big T trauma type story to have a valuable story. But when we do have these big experiences in our life and we see people who either skim over them or they're like, well, you know, we're talking about the work that you're doing here. When we leave those pieces out of our story, how inauthentic would that be? That story doesn't define you, but it is a part of you. And oftentimes a very major part, like you mentioned, they can shape the realities of who we are now. And so if you leave that part out, you're never gonna be able to create the type of trust and connection that you're really looking for with that soulmate level client because you're not being real about who you are.
Yes. I feel I love something I heard you share, which was that your story is not just for you. There's not just beauty in you sharing. all there's something so powerful about liberating ourselves. And oftentimes, I think for a lot of us, especially harder stories, we can kind of be in a shameful energy about it. So there's something so liberating like breaking ourselves for me, too. And that energy. But I love the way you talk about how you're also there's a part of you that's here to actually share for the sake of others.
Absolutely. I was for years.
Like when you hold your story back, you're also holding back such a big part of your nature, I would imagine like soul service in that too of people feeling like they're not alone. People realize there is another person that maybe had some different aspects of it, but can at least be a place that they can go, oh, thank you for making me also feel in my humaneness that I'm seen. And I love it because you just give such a huge grasp, I think in leadership.
Absolutely.
Because when I think about so much of my curiosity in today's conversation with you is like, we're living in a time, and I sit with so many of my clients, they're like multi six figure, seven figure and beyond entrepreneurs, visionaries, they've been told a hundred times, like all the different visibility tactics, you have to post how many times you have to be on every single platform, a lot of them have experienced the grind and the hustle and the whole thing.
Mm-hmm.
And they're either just over it. Like they're kind of like, I don't want to do it that way anymore. They're like, this doesn't feel like my full self just gets to be. And I'm not enjoying something I really stand for, like feeling like your success is delicious. Like you enjoy the journey. And I think then you add the layer of AI now where I think there's a lot of this extra dynamic of what the heck is authentic. So with you, I was just so curious to see what you're seeing in the space right now in terms of what you're seeing with your clients. I know you work with phenomenal leaders, those who are really driven to sharing their missions. Like what you are noticing is both the struggle people are navigating and what they're having to maybe let go of, maybe that were old, even visibility strategies. And what you're really seeing is making an impact that people are tapping into and seeing as the opportunity in this time.
Absolutely. Well, excuse me, one of the things to remember is we don't want to just add to the noise. Okay, we want to be creating opportunities where you are showing up in a way that allows you to create trust, allows you to be trusted and respected before you even speak, before you even walk into that room that you've worked so hard to get to.
I don't want you to be everywhere. I want you to be in the right places. And I think that's where we have a whole different, a complete paradigm shift basically in the visibility space because when we think what PR was even three or four years ago, you did have to show up like a lot and in a lot of places. And now it's so much more powerful. Everyone's craving community. We think about the future of marketing, we think about the future of everything, basically, that our huge differentiator from that AI is the community, it's the real human connection. And another thing to remember, and I think this is so important and not enough people understand this, we have SEO, but now we have AEO. So we have this search that is based on what's going on with AI. So when you Google things, you'll notice that the top thing that pops up is an AI generated response. So when someone Googles you or they Google, who is the best person in this space or who can help me to create X, Y, and Z results, it's a totally different ballgame because it doesn't matter the confidence that we have. It doesn't matter the beautiful words that we put onto our own social media or any of the things we are putting out. AI scrapes only that that comes from third parties and specifically third parties that are being shared across the internet. When I say you are fabulous or I say the work that we do is fabulous, that's amazing. But when you're showing up consistently on indexed platforms, when you're showing up consistently in places and on platforms, podcasts that are being shared regularly.
That's where AI gets that answer of who are you? And that is the future of search. That is the future of how people are being found on the internet. And so we have to remember that. And it's very, very important. I don't need you showing up everywhere. I just need you showing up in the right places and in the right spaces. And especially when it comes to the room. So I'm a huge believer in a curated network and those rooms and I mean, here's the thing, most of us when we get to this level, we're pretty darn good at what we do. We have this level of expertise, you have credibility, you have experience. And if you're doing PR the right way, all that we're doing is bringing that credibility to the forefront. We're a light on how incredible you are at the work you're doing and who you are as a human.
I already love this. I had not heard about this AEO concept yet. And I had not realized what a big shift in thinking it truly, I didn't know AI wasn't picking up from all of the content you're producing. It has to literally come from third parties. I'm like, that is a completely different thought process than, I'm supposed to post what daily on...
Hmm.
right from our own keywords. Yeah.
Absolutely it is.
14 different platforms, which is what I think so many people are so tired of you know, it's all that pressure of especially in today's day where I mean, it's interesting because I think a big question I definitely want to go into some of your extended you've got these four pillars that I saw and what it really means to be an influential leader and Credibility was one of them and I went that's so interesting because today's day think one of the things people are most having to like work through is in a world where almost so many people can make themselves credible
Right? Yes.
In theory, you know, it's the bigger question of discernment, I think underneath, right? For all of us as both buyers, as consumers, and who we're trusting, what do you see as credibility in today's day? Or like, what fosters it?
e multiple clients on the Inc:
When you think about non-traditional credibility markers, I'm a world champion equestrian. And so by telling that particular non-traditional credibility marker, that shows that I have discipline. It shows that I am a dedicated person. It shows that I'm capable of literally getting back on the horse when you fall off. And I don't have to say those things about myself. So thinking about those non-traditional credibility markers, I know often when we are thinking about, I've got to show up. I've got to show my credibility, my authority. We're constantly thinking, well, I only have one award and I listened to that podcast episode and she had like five and you know, that can, can get into that comparison game. And so while our traditional credibility markers are extremely important, I am more interested in how we can bring in those non-traditional credibility markers? I've also coached youth basketball for almost 10 years. So that shows that I'm patient. And it's just, you don't understand the human connection that we can create with that type of a credibility marker until you try it. So I urge you and for everyone who's listening, when you think about your credibility, yes, it is vital. Yes, it is very, very important. And I will say also from the perspective of a third party, yes, we want it to be showing up in the media. If you can bring in testimonials or results that you've been able to create for other people, that's an even stronger way to share your credibility.
It's so powerful. Because of your point, you're giving so many different avenues for someone to think about it. I think because of other times, otherwise to your point, there's a lot of dynamics where someone can feel like it's just education. And so you meet people who just get caught in this trap where they're constantly getting the next certification without actually just going out and realizing, go, go serve, go serve, go get those, go to get those results, go get those testimonials. Those people, I mean, I've seen it over and over again. Yes.
Mm-hmm.
We'll be overly credentialed. That's right. That's great.
And as women, we feel that a lot. I see a lot of women do that. I need to be overly credentialed to prove my viability. And that's not the truth. Yes, we want you to be credible. And yes, we want you to be experienced. However, human life experience is also extremely valuable. I see that all the time in different mentorships.
We want a mentor when we're going into a space when you're looking for a mentor, you want a mentor who has lived experience as well. Yes, we want credibility. Yes, we want the results that they've created for other people, but also the life experience becomes such an important part.
I think it's so important to name the life part because I know I've been in many spots where I've been mentored by people where, my gosh, I mean, from a status power in so many ways, could see how I was able to actually discern like this was the part of them that I was learning from. But there comes a moment I think where many of us realize, wait, I'm really trusting their path, but do I want their life?
Do I actually want to live the way they live? Or we take feedback and criticism from people who are not living the life we want to lead. And obviously there's, right? Or we take strategies, right? We like how many times someone's been like, I followed this marketing strategy because so and so did it. And I mean, something that I just stand for so much is doing it our own way and finding that. And that's why I think your credibility piece here is so powerful because it's
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it's coming through a different lens. Yeah.
Absolutely.
You get to really take a step back for anyone listening and go your version. If you just see that there's many different avenues and how you can build it, there's not just one way. What is your truest path to showing how incredible you are and brilliant at whatever your mission is, your body of work is, whatever you're standing for until I really own it. So now we already kind of walked through, okay, I've already tapped into your four pillars. I'm like, let's just go through them because I was planning on going through them a little bit later. I'm like, you know what? We're in our flow. Let's just.
Let's do it.
Let's go with them. You've got credibility. I'll say this because it's a credibility, visibility, and communication network, but let's maybe go through them one by one because each one is potent. So visibility...
Absolutely.
These are the four parts of any influential leader. And if you think about it and you think about those thought leaders, you think about the people who are leading in the space that you aspire to be like, that you aspire to be in the same room as, they have all of these four pieces really dialed in. So yes, credibility, and it's really important to be able to identify. Then next is visibility. So we've got to shine a light on that credibility. And this is also something that women struggle with, I would say more so than men. I mean, I haven't done a study on that, but just from my own lived experience with my clients, because we do serve primarily women. We serve both men and women, but primarily women. And I will say, it's difficult sometimes to show up in a way where you take ownership of your credibility. So visibility.
Shining a light on that credibility. And we do have a system and a structure. I mean, if you're thinking you want to be a leader in your space, you need to be showing up at least a dozen times during a year. You need to be showing up on nice podcasts that are speaking to your primary audience. You need to be in a place, if you want to be speaking. I'm a huge believer that not every speaking opportunity has to be a paid speaking opportunity to end up giving you a lot of value. And we do have a lot of very highly paid speakers. However, we also take and accept speaking engagements that are in front of the right audience that allow you to have practice delivering this new message or this new story or this new angle, because we want you to be fully prepared when you do get onto the TED stage that you know exactly how you're going to deliver that piece of your message. So visibility should be, if you're thinking, and I always say there's different tiers. So some people that may have a brick and mortar, they may be looking at local and regional visibility because that's how they're gonna be speaking to their prospective clients. And every now and then that top tier media opportunity will be a great credibility marker for them, a great affirmation of their authority.
But I would focus on that local and regional space. But again, you want to be showing up. I don't want you doing it every single week, but you need to be consistent. You need to be consistent with your messaging and you need to be showing up in a way that if you show up 12 times a year and really thought out well thought out and intentional spaces and in a very intentional way, and you were speaking a minimum of three or four times a year.
People are going to feel like you are everywhere. And it doesn't have to be any more than that. And it can be that intentional. So, and then that takes me into the messaging. message and communication is probably the most important part. We're structured very differently. You know, we build personal brands and we amplify those personal brands through strategic and consistent publicity and we do all of our own media training in-house. And I don't care who you are and I don't care how great you are, everyone can always get better. We have my VP of media training, her name is Heather French Henry. She used to work for the Department of Defense. She's a former Miss America. She's been on Good Morning America and Oprah. And between the two of us, she's given congressional testimony. I mean, she's amazing. And between the two of us, we've been on pretty much all of the major stages in America and I can't tell you how valuable it is to have that third party be really objective and on your side to filter through how you're telling stories. Do you have a storytelling format? Do you have a collection of stories that you are telling very consistently to drive home the brand experience that you are providing or creating or your own brand experience?
You know, we often think, my gosh, I want to go get visibility. I want to go on television or I want to go do these podcast interviews. And if you don't take the time to identify what is your objective with every single one, you're not fully prepared. And just because you're a good salesperson or because you can speak about your business does not make a good interviewee. That doesn't mean that you're going to get up there and dazzle them and knock their socks off.
And more often than not, we are too verbose. We say way too many words to get the point across. And so we really help people to be efficient communicators and to be very solid and confidently prepared in their storytelling, the stories that they are telling and how it supports the message that they want to convey to the world.
I love what you just shared about visibility and communication because I love the way you shined a light on right. There's something so important about honoring knowing what you're credible in and knowing what it is you stand for, then shining a light on it so people actually know about you.
But doing it in a quality way, like that's something that's always stood out to me. And I think it has been something that I've always found true for myself, but I've always wondered at times, you know, like, oh, well, am I not, should I be in more rooms and should I be doing more things? But I actually have often felt like quite an intentional discerning person, especially now I'll say as someone who lives abroad, since I live in South Africa, I can't be, like the reality is I can't be in every single room and do all the things, but it's made me very intentional about like when I am, where exactly and trusting I get led into exactly where I'm meant to be. And so, I mean, even how I met you, right? There's just, it's like just this deep trust and exactly who, where, when you follow that deeper calling inside. And then the communication piece you named, I think is so powerful because I would imagine one of the things you've seen a lot.
Mm-hmm.
Is people trying to talk about too many different things. And wanting to be the jack of, now, I just find it was a huge thing on my journey. I've seen it over and over again, that I would imagine a huge part of what you probably have to navigate in creating a strong communication strategy is, like you said, what are the few stories you are happy to keep repeating? Which I know for all those who are like, but I want to talk about what I want to talk about when I want to talk about it, that hits all of...
That's right.
Like, then I won't be free or will I get bored talking about my message? What do you share with anyone like that who has that natural avoidance to sharing the same stories or really owning that part?
r. I want to speak on the Inc:
But you should have this through line. So, you we talk about building a personal brand and where that, where your personal mission, mission, vision and values intersect with that of your organization. That's where the real brilliance lies. You know, who you are as a person, you're bringing in a story, you're bringing in realness, but then you're always able to identify where that cross section with the service that you provide or the product that you've created, you know, whatever that might be. So, It is important to remember that you are the face of your brand. People are far more likely to believe and receive information when it comes from an individual than they are to believe it coming from an organization. So basically you've got this huge opportunity and you have to decide if you want to show up in a way that supports the growth of your organization or if you want to tell a million different stories about all of the different things that you're doing all the time.
It's so important because I think something I love that you talk about is we are all personal brands so even if someone's listening, maybe they don't even have you know, maybe you're working for a corporate company, you're thinking I don't have a personal brand. I'm not someone who's out sharing specifically articles on LinkedIn or Whatever that perception might be The world right now is definitely giving you a brand
That's right.
That's right, and I will save it. Yeah.
As you just said, AI has you on SEO. know what I mean? It's like, if you just take a moment, like are you in charge of your narrative or is the world defining it for you?
Well, and that's the thing. If you do not lead your own, we always talk about leading from the front. If you do not lead the narrative about who you are, what do you do and what you stand for, someone else will. And I don't care who you are, you have a personal brand. I mean, we've been talking about personal brands for more than a decade. And if you don't tell that story, who's going to? So if you're in a corporation and you leave, what's the one thing that goes with you, your personal brand?
Who are you? What do you do? What do you stand for? You know, we like to define a personal brand as how do you leave people feeling? How do you leave them feeling after they've had an interaction with you? And then that's what we want to try to be able to emulate when you do a podcast interview or when you're writing an article or you do a television segment or you speak on the stage or even when someone checks out your social media or your website. It should mirror that type of experience. You should leave them feeling in the same way. So it's really important. It's a great exercise. How do I want to leave people feeling?
That's such an opportunity to discern because I think in today's day, we're again, authenticity is a big word, big question, but it's been a big word for a let's be real years, right? Because there's also, we've gone through the eras of everyone not wanting to be authentic about anything. Everyone felt like they had to be so curated. Then there was the era of, feel like everyone felt like they had to share every detail to be quote authentic and quote real. That's something I'm oversharing.
Yeah.
And then you've got now this whole AI dynamic where the big question I think so many people are facing is what makes us human? And I think even as entrepreneurs, I'll just even say transparently prepping for maternity leave and getting clearer on, cause I've definitely erred on the side of being very fixated about keeping my voice in everything. And it's been a big moment for me to go, okay, where does that matter? Like where is it so important? And also where can your team...
Mm-hmm.
Support you and just send out that little bit of the promotion about something that's not actually there to be your main, that doesn't need to be as much of you. And it's that interesting nuance where it's us figuring out, thinking, like, where do we hold the fort on our communication and not let it become diluted by actually outsourcing it too much, I think, and losing some of our own richness.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
And also, where can we lean on these amazing tools to communicate more effectively? How do you, is there a way you like, supporters can help someone really know they're just their own discernment there of how to hold their communication in this time?
Well, yeah, I mean, I think that it's really important to remember, and this is perfect because we'll talk about networks next, which is the fourth part of an influential leader. You do want to maintain that human connection. And as you grow and as you scale, you get to a place where you don't want to be the bottleneck.
And so you do have to figure out what is a way to allow other people to communicate on my behalf. And for me, it always comes back to you . We build a personal brand guide for every single client that comes through the door. And we know the tone of your voice. Are you a supportive speaker? Are you an authoritative speaker? How are you communicating?
We do not use contractions or we do use contractions. Depending on how you communicate, we want to know down to that detail so that you can be aware. Because a lot of times we're not really aware of the way we are communicating because this is just what we do every day, right? And so when we are able to put that much clarity around the ways in which we do and don't communicate, it's a lot easier for all of the people who have their hands on our personal brand. Everyone from the personal assistant to the person designing the graphics for social or making the posts and whatever those roles might be. But if we can create clarity and we can create guardrails around what is the way I want to be showing up and how can I identify that standard and then help everyone on my team to maintain it.
It's so powerful because if we think about these three pillars so far you've named, and I know networks will come in and also be like this, a huge piece that stands out to me and all of this is self-awareness. The importance, you because people talk about personal brands and then I don't know, I'm sure you've been asked so many different times and I feel like just in different ways, different conversations, I've been part of people have almost like wanted to have shortcuts to, or I mean, how many times someone's...
Absolutely.
Yeah. My goodness. I definitely always look for the shortcut.
Human nature.
You know, it's, I can't even tell you how many times, cause I'm not afraid to be, I'm not afraid to be real real, you know, when someone's like, you know, but then I want to just monetize this thing and do it this way. And you know, how can you just do it fast? I'm like, you're probably going to need to know your brand story. And they're like, okay, so that's the easiest way to do it. And I'll just tell you from my own experience and seeing a lot of others like sitting down and doing your brand story is a deep, as an example, it's a deep process to really get to that...
We should be. We should be. Yeah.
Place of knowing yourself. But if we look at your credibility, you're saying you actually have to take a step back and actually look at all these different traditional and non-traditional parts of you that make you credible. Then also what always happens is when you take time to actually do that, you take time to know your story, then visibility becomes so much easier to do because you feel so grounded in what you actually have to say. But I love that these pillars honor that yes, these are the key strategies. These are pillars. Like you said, if anyone has all four of these nailed down, you know, because you have an incredible track record. You have an incredible track record. You know, the results you've made.
You know, yeah, you know, that's right. Well, other, that's right. The other,
I love that you mentioned that about self-awareness because I believe that personal branding without self-awareness is just performance. You know, it's just showing up as who you think you're supposed to be. So if you don't take the time to create that level of self-awareness, you don't have...
Here we go.
Someone who is extremely objective, being that mirror back to you and saying, you know what, I know that when we talk about this, you say that you want to leave people feeling seen. However, the way you're showing up right now was leaving people feeling X, Y, and Z. So let's start to make some strategic changes in the way we communicate and the way we show up so that we can achieve that version of your personal brand. There are lots.
I have experienced many people who show up in the way that they believe they're supposed to. They talk about the things that they think they're supposed to. But when it comes to their actions, it doesn't correlate. So those are the people that we always say are those that kind of flash in the pan, here today, gone tomorrow type people. You know the story like Never Meet Your Heroes?
And we don't ever want any of our clients or any of us to be that way. So you really do have to be objective about the entire process of building a personal brand if you want to do it well.
Just letting that sink for a moment.
It just feels so important because I think if anyone feels like it's taken them a long time or why does it feel like right as I'm at my next evolution, I have to revisit these elements again. These are the elements that we just can't avoid. I mean, I know I've just seen it so many times, right? When you think you've figured out the fullness of your story, there's new, we're always growing and shifting and there's new parts. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, and isn't that the human experience? Constant evolution, yeah, and growth.
And I think you and I have so much synergy because we both really are grounded in the awareness that this is a part of the story that if you really, really want to be honest and do it well, it's the part we can't miss.
That's right. That's right. That's right. And when you think about, yeah, so when you think about the network side of things, from a very genuine place, you have to understand that you are who you hang with. You are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with. So if you aspire to be like this person,
You know, because even then when we go to your fourth pillar, who has a certain level of success, then you have to start showing up in the rooms where people like that are going to be. You have to get into the right rooms and the right places. So, you know, it's accumulating those credibility markers. It's showing up authentically. It's telling the same stories. It's showing up in a way that's relatable and kind. And also, the biggest piece is showing up in service. We all are trying to grow our audience.
Every single person in your network is trying to grow their audience. So if you see, and this is the same with media decision makers too, okay? They're people too. So when we are trying to create a connection with someone, when we are trying to maybe even just kind of start to forge that relationship from the very beginning, how can you show up in service of them? When you were showing up, and stepping into someone else's space, how can you serve their community so that it brings them value? Because the fastest way to get an invitation back to any event, to any media opportunity, to any networking opportunity is to show up and bring value to the people who are either there or in the audience. And when we think about networks, we always should be focusing on elevating in a way that is very intentional and very real, you have a beautiful network of people that you have created in your life. And I have an incredible network as well and people that I love to spend time with because I genuinely value them as human beings. So when you are thinking about continuing to elevate where you are, where you're showing up, the rooms that you're in, you have to start identifying that place first. And then I promise you, if you go in and you show up in service and you show up as your real authentic self, you're going to start to create real connections. And as anyone who has ever gotten a referral, anyone who has ever been reached out to about a job opportunity or, you know, endless number of things that can come from beautiful relationships. You understand that the human connection is the most important part.
It's everything. I just feel that it's one of those pieces that can get so lost in translation. So I love the way you named it, which is bringing value to the table. And I think not having expectations, because we all know that feeling. We've all been there and we've all probably expressed it in our own ways, subconsciously, consciously that transactional energy and it never really serves
No, it never pays off in the long-
Never, never. It just does not. Whereas I know something I've thought about a lot is I just feel like the real currency is care. Everyone wants to make business seem really complicated. I mean, there's a lot of people who make a lot of money off of making business feel really complicated, just like many other systems in life. And yet if you just look at so much of life, it's care. It's all written, do you care about who you serve?
Mm-hmm.
Do you actually care about the people in your network? Do you actually care about your team? Do you care about your mission? And I just feel like what you're bringing forward is I think the people I know who have created the most meaningful networks, the real secret is they really care about the people around them genuinely. Not because they have to, not because maybe that person will literally give them nothing, and because they care about what they have to say.
Absolutely.
They actually know what they have to say matters and they care about it. And so I feel like even like the people you and I have in our mutual networks, you can just feel it. Like there's just that energy. then it is kind of this beautiful ripple effect. Cause I think we also forget, like, I love this part you brought in the beginning about the quality. Because what really stood out to me about the power of a network is that you don't always have to be in the room and people speak about you. They speak about your work. If you have the right network.
Yes.
If you have the right network, then you do have people speaking your name in the space of opportunity. You do have people who are recommending you, suggesting you, referring you, who are wanting to catapult you up to where they are and beyond because you have people who really care.
Yes, like if you're in the quality spaces.
About your success as well. And I love that you used the word care because, and I want to mention for two seconds, I also love that you said, you know, people talk about business being complex and yes, it is. And business can also be really fun and really fulfilling. And I, the narrative of like, business is so hard and business is so lonely. I don't think that that serves them, I don't think that that serves most people other than the person saying it.
Yes, because it feels so linked. think something I've thought about a lot, and I just feel like you and I will resonate with this, which is why your part about being in the right rooms. If we talk about the part underneath that is because at least I've seen to be in a room with others who will really speak your name.
Mm.
They have to be at their own level of self-awareness. They have to have done their own inner work. They have to feel self-assured enough inside of themselves to speak your name, because let's name it especially for women.
I would say beyond talking about our hard stuff, sometimes the harder one to bring into a room as women can be really celebratory, really beautiful love, partnership, like all these different concepts. So actually, truly, to be held in all of it. And so I really love this focus you have on, know, cause I think some people can get kind of tainted on networks because they say, oh, I joined this.
Like true friendship, yes, all of that.
one particular network and it just didn't work out for me. Maybe I'm just, more of a, more of a solo, you know, woman. I just operate more on my own and we're giving them love your invitation. Maybe you just weren't in the right room.
Yeah.
That's exactly right. I mean, I will tell you, I have a tendency to be that way. You know, I mean, I live in the middle of a hundred acres. I love my solitude. I do. And I say all the time, I would never leave my farm if I didn't have to because my kids are here and my animals are here. My husband's here. And we host farm retreats, you know, so I can bring my people to my space. But I will say there is nothing that fills up my cup anymore..
Yes.
Than being in the room with other very dynamic, giving, kind-hearted, successful women that you know are there for the right reasons. And those spaces and places do exist.
It's so powerful and it's just such a gift because I think it's also tricky because I think people can struggle to name. They want to be in rooms with just people who elevate them. Why is that so hard for us to name? That we love being in rooms with people who are growing, who align with our values, who push us to new limits of possibility, who expand us in so many different ways. And I think a huge part is remembering…
Mm-hmm.
Going back to all four of these, the more you know who you are, the more that we stop comparing because you should be in rooms with people who maybe from a wealth perspective have figured out more in that capacity. But maybe you are more emotionally, spiritually the one who brings those expansive elements to a room or relationally that there's so many, or we all have those people in our lives who just know everything about health and wellness you could ever want to know. And you're like, thank you. I know, it's a village in so many ways, like that really beautiful discernment. I feel like this is actually a beautiful segue to actually share with you one of your Gene Keys, which of course I had to share with you your magnetism code as you are fully our woman of magnetism and visibility and PR. But just for a little bit of context about the Gene Keys, the Gene Keys are a system that share with you a blueprint of who you came here to be on a soul level.
Thank you.
And with every Gene Key, there's three frequencies. There's your shadow. So what are you most here to alchemize and work through in this lifetime? Your gift. What are you here to shine brightly in when you just fully own who you are? And then what's called the Siddhi, S I D D H I, which is your mastery, your superpower that you just, if you weren't conditioned, you just exude. And then there's different placements. The one I wanted to focus on with you is your magnetism code. So it's the placement in your blueprint that highlights what will truly authentically on a soul level attract your most aligned opportunities, relationship dynamics, experiences, and the shadows a good one of like what could also repel, like what also could lead you to being in, you know, the unfortunate experiences. So for you, you have Gene Key 20, which goes from the shadow of superficiality to the gift of self assurance...
Uh-huh.
To the Siddhi, highest frequency of presence. Why this is so interesting is if you think about what you've talked, we've talked about today in so many ways, you would specifically Brielle know that when you are in superficiality, when you're not fully letting someone feel all of who you are, when you are trying to be everything to everybody, when you don't share the full story of what you've navigated.
I love-
You maybe will attract people and opportunities, but it's not fully in as flow, as much flow as it could be. Or it could be bonds that don't really feel fulfilling or opportunities are wrong for the wrong reasons, transactional dynamics, all of that. But when you stand tall in your gift of self-assurance, that is just that quiet, I know who I am confidence.
Mm-hmm.
It's also the gift of really not just trusting the mind. It's really moving into becoming someone who really moves from their heart. If they know their heart, not just emotionally, I just let my emotions take over. It's that deep, I'm here to express my heart and connect with others. And then presence, which is just that beautiful energy of I know when I walk in a room, if I bring my full presence to a space, that in of itself is the medicine.
I love this so much because I feel like I've lived this evolution myself from phase one to phase three. I know another thing about presence, and I do want to say this, if you're in the right rooms, you're going to be challenged. If you're in the right rooms, you are not going to be the smartest person in the room. Just like you said, maybe in one capacity here or one capacity there. And so it's never about comparison. It's always about...
Yes. Yep.
Support, it's always about service, but it's also, you know, sometimes I sit in spaces and I'm just in awe of the people around me and I'm so impressed with all of the things that they have been able to do and create and be. And I think just like bringing that level of presence, not just like presence, but like being so present as well it makes our own experiences that much juicier.
It's so beautiful you said that you know this evolution and even how you brought it forward where you know so deeply inside yourself that when you bring presence into a room, it's the gift. It's because you are there to be that permission slip for other people with presence. Basically for you, Brielle, and if you think about it with clients, with your team, anyone you work with, any of your children, your husband, your animals,
100%
That's why you love all your animals, you know, because they're so present. They are like little walking beings of hello, I just am here with you. You know what I mean? And yes. And like there's, because the other energy is that superficiality is that performance you spoke about earlier. And so it's so powerful because I think what I always love is in a way, this is always like our soul's curriculum. Like we're going to know these frequencies deeply within ourselves because they're part of our stories. Like I guarantee if I was like...
Yes.
Yeah, my gosh, yes. It's very important to me.
Mmm.
Brielle, could you write a whole story on your journey from superficiality to self-assuredness to presence? You'd be like, give me, I have a lot of them. And that's the power that all of us are unique. So you have your magnetism code, I'd have mine. And it's just a powerful way to go like, ooh, this is a discernment filter that you have is like, okay, in this room where I network, do I feel self-assured? Am I bringing self-assuredness to the room? Am I bringing my presence? Because then it usually is an indication.
My gosh. Yes.
You're in the right room and you're where you're meant to be. Yeah. So it's so fun to share with you because I just went, when I opened your blueprint, went, oh yes. I was like, of course this is hers. The other one I'll just drip in here too, cause I also was your mission code. So this is the one that shares insights on what you're here to do. So also from like a brand perspective, brand story perspective, this is one you're going to know intimately. Yours is Gene Key 13, which moves from the shadow of discord to the gift of discernment to the Siddhi of empathy. So for you, you actually came here to learn the powerful gift of not just hearing, but listening, really listening. And the discord shadow is very much that dynamic, like the same way an instrument can just feel like something's incoherent, that there's no harmonics.
Mmm.
Mm.
It's that knowing when people can get really in their mind, they can focus on all the hard stuff, they can just get really fixated on just what's not working, the struggle story. But your gift of discernment is like really coming into that ability to listen to your true voice, to your true heart, to your unique channel, and to know what you're here to share as a channel of your highest frequency, which is literally empathy. Knowing everything I feel like you share linked to your story isn't just important for you. It's important for all of those who were meant to hear it. And that's your mission. Like that is what Brielle, you came here to be and for people to see you do and activate and others. How does that resonate for you?
I mean, I felt like I could, you know, I can 100 % identify that evolution within myself as well. And they both go together so powerfully. You know, it's the storytelling side of things. Storytelling is the cornerstone of all of the work that we do. And...because of the experiences of my life. went through such, so everything that I went through is very public. And they're getting that magnetism. This has been like an ongoing thing for me my entire life that I never really understood as a child. I was totally aware of it, but I never really understood. And I experienced such significant levels of judgment for being in the situation that I was in with my former husband. Why didn't you leave? How did you not? And that was one of the hardest things for me. And having traveled through that journey, I know that the level of empathy and the depth with which I can relate to the trials that people experience physically, emotionally, mentally has become significantly amplified just for me as a person.
And what a gift that you took something so hard and you chose, because you did make a choice, Brielle. You really made a choice to allow this experience that could have become something just so hidden and secret as it was for some time and not brought it forward and not let it become such a...
Absolutely.
Conversation for so many others, such a feeling of you being their mirror, such a feeling of people not feeling alone, and also you not taking their judgment to heart. I mean, what a gift. And also I honor, it's not easy.
It's not, it's really hard. And if you've ever been in a position like that, it helps you to get clarity really quickly. Also, I will say, from the storytelling side of things, one of the things that broke my heart was that when I did start to share my own story about domestic violence, all of these people in my world...
No.
Started sending me messages. I went through a similar experience when I was younger, or I have lived through X, Y, and Z, and it broke my heart for them, but it also broke my heart for myself because had any of them shared their story, my life may have turned out very differently. My experience may have looked very, very different.
And so that's why we always say it is our obligation to tell our stories. Not that we have to overshare, you talked about that, but it is our obligation to show up in a way where we are making things better for those around us. And one, I was so grateful that they gave themselves permission to become a little more vulnerable because I had shared my own story. But like I said, I just had no idea. And of course it's a horrific statistic that more than 40, I think it's like almost 47 % of women experience domestic violence in their lifetime and it's climbing and this is something that's been going on for generations and it's also the most under reported crime. So we know that the statistic is actually much, much higher than that. And I saw that statistic come to life when I did share and people felt comfortable to reach out to me. And I just wish that someone would have, you know, that was my wish at that time. If, someone would have only shared and it made my mission that much more important to me.
I again just get full body goosebumps when I think about the ripple effect and the impact of you sharing. And what a reminder and invitation you sharing now is for anyone listening of that story, whether it's capital T trauma, or like you said, doesn't have to be, but just some story that lives on your heart that feels really important, that feels like it needs to come through you to not diminish it, to trust it and to really bring it forward. And I think this is a beautiful
As you know, I stand for ritual. So I always think about like, you know, what's that simple embodied way we can start and just start incorporating it into our lives. I don't have habits very much like everything going into default mode, whereas I stand for ritual, which is presence. Like how do I get more present? I think with story being such an important part and what you named, like there's an obligation to share your story, especially in today's day. You know, I think, especially now.
What would you recommend for someone listening as a simple, small ritual that they could incorporate that would be a beautiful way they can connect with their story or share their story and really connect in that way?
Well, there's two pieces of advice. There's two calls to action that I give in my TEDx talk, and it's still really very important. The first step is to tell your story to someone who can help you. So if you haven't done that, you have to tell your story to someone who can help you. And I don't care if that is domestic violence or any type of abuse or maybe you're carrying shame around having lost your job or you know it could be a number of things but whatever that is you need to tell that story to someone who can help you first and then eventually you can start sharing your story in a way that can help others. So that being number one you know for self-care reasons for starting to heal, for getting the help that you deserve and I do think that what we always prescribe to all of our clients is to put yourself one arm's length away from your own story, you can write it in third person. So rather than writing, this happened to me, I experienced that. When you write your stories in third person, like I said, it just gives you that arm's length of separation from the emotion that's attached to it. And it's going to put you in a place where you can start thinking about what are the stories that represent my mission, vision, and values that support who I am. And from a ritual perspective, just give yourself grace when you go through that practice because it can be emotional.
It can be challenging, but start.
Yeah, even if it's just five minutes a day, light a candle, open a journal, and just write for five minutes. That in itself is so much. And so I love that invitation.
Absolutely.
Mm-hmm.
And I hope that you are very impressed with the person who has gone through and overcome and is in the midst of all of the things that you experience in your life. I hope that that is the feeling that you can take away from that instead of judgment around the story or how it's written or how it's told or what it was in your life. But I hope that you can read that and go, my gosh, she's a badass. I hope that you can walk away with that level of being impressed with all of the things that you have overcome up until this point.
I just send that prayer and that blessing to anyone who goes through that process, because that's such a powerful invitation. Because it's so true. It can be so easy to be so hard on ourselves. And I think that's why it can be really hard to start sometimes and want to write these stories. So thank you for that beautiful invitation. was like, can you do it gently and with so much grace? And actually just love and cheer on. That's why this third party piece, I've never heard anyone say it that way, but I can see how powerful that is, especially for...
That's right.
The really crunchy, the harder ones to really go into for a variety of reasons. Thank you, Brielle. I mean, we, you and I, I'm like, I just want to do like four more cups of tea. feel like you and I, I don't know, I feel like you and I, I just want to go to your horse farm and just walk around and you and I could just talk about animals. You and I could probably just do a whole episode about our obsession with animals and it would be so fun for us. So I just want to give to anyone who's listening, like where they can connect with you because you.
Mm-hmm.
Can we just talk for like four more hours?
Yes! I know.
You are doing amazing work as everyone can tell from this conversation. But for anyone who would love to know more, if you've got an Instagram, but are there, and I'll put the show, I'll put the links in the show notes, but if there's anything in particular.
Mm-hmm.
Yes.
Yeah. So go to my Instagram, send me a DM, DM me the word podcast. We've got a really nice resource for anyone who comes into our world from hearing me on a podcast episode. So hop in there, you know, a little bit of information about personal brand, about different things that you can be doing to really nurture that and foster an incredibly magnetic personal brand. So, I would love to hear from you, or even if there was just something in the episode that you enjoyed, feel free to DM me. Instagram's always the easiest way to connect.
I love that so much. And everyone, I mean, go check out Brielle's Instagram. You'll just be just immersed in so much value and so much presence and so much magnetic insight. It's just full. It's in the most beautiful way. And Brielle, honestly, thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for sharing your story, your heart for being present with us. This conversation has been an absolute joy. Like I said, I feel like...
Thank you.
You and I have layers. I'm like our animal loving side. feel like all these other parts of ourselves. I'm like, Ooh, I just treasure who you are and how I've gotten to get to know you so far. And just all that you, the ripple effect you have, the light you're shining brightly and what a gift. And to all of those who are listening, thank you for being here with us. For sharing your heart and your time and your presence with us. And as Brielle shared, if there's also just a takeaway or something you'd love to share with us that really stood out or you're going like, Hey,
Thank you.
I have decided I'm going to be more visible or I'm going to write my story or I did write my story, even though I've been avoiding it to know that Brielle and I are here to really honor that, to celebrate that with you if you feel called to share. And just as always, I hope you continue to elevate your life one intentional day at a time. Thank you so much for being you.
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