Shownotes
Episode 2: Christine’s Story—Truth, Trauma, and Recovery Beyond the Filter
Christine opens episode three of Mental Wealth Rx by challenging a culture that rewards polished appearances while avoiding discussions of addiction, mental health, trauma, relationships, money issues, shame, sex, secrets, identity, and the need to be loved.
She explains she is not an expert but shares lived experience and will speak with professionals about what truly helps people change, emphasizing that “real recovery doesn’t come from a bottle.” Christine recounts being born in Bogotá, Colombia, adopted as a toddler with her brother, and later diagnosed with attachment disorder and ongoing abandonment fears. She describes being sent as a teen to a behavior modification program in LaVerkin, Utah, where she experienced prison-like conditions and emotional abuse, noting many survivors later died by suicide or overdose. She later endured an abusive relationship, a 10-year marriage that ended abruptly, and credits sobriety, recovery, her children, and her fiancé/co-host Steve for her current healthy life, closing with a non-medical disclaimer and crisis resources.
00:00 Filtered Dysfunction Culture
00:43 Podcast Mission Statement
01:14 Meet Christine
01:56 Adoption Origins
03:47 Attachment Trauma Childhood
05:28 Sent Away Teen Years
06:30 Inside The Program
07:54 Aftermath And Loss
10:35 Abusive Relationship Spiral
12:03 Recovery And Gratitude
13:10 Steve And Support System
14:05 Closing Thanks And Community
14:46 Disclaimer And Crisis Resources
15:16 Final Sign Off
Transcripts
Do you want to know what's wild?
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:Our culture has made it socially
acceptable to filter out all dysfunction.
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:Think about it.
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:You could be slowly decaying
inside, post a picture with a lovely
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:filter, and get all of these likes.
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:Let's be real.
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:Nobody's talking about this.
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:We want the polished version, the
inspirational quote, the comeback story.
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:Nobody wants to talk about the relapse or
the abusive relationship, the secrets, the
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:diagnosis, the resentments, money issues,
ego, or the shit we're doing to survive.
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:Instead, we have perfected how to perform.
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:Nobody wakes up and says, "I'm going
to tell everyone how I blew up my life
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:and what an unhinged disaster I am,
and I'm going to post what feeling
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:like a total degenerate looks like."
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:This podcast is about the shit we're
all avoiding: addiction, mental
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:health, trauma, relationships,
money issues, shame, sex, secrets,
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:identity, the need to be loved,
and all the ways we're destroying
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:ourselves obsessing on all of this.
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:We're not here to make
it sound inspirational.
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:We're here to tell the truth.
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:We're going to be talking to experts
who are dishing out what actually
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:influences change and truly helps
people get better, because real
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:recovery doesn't come from a bottle.
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:Welcome to episode three
of Mental Wealth Rx.
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:I'm your host, Christine.
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:If you're going to invest into me,
it's important you know who I am.
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:For those of you whom I've never met,
it's time for me to tell you a little
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:bit more about my past so you can
understand what makes me qualified to
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:be the host of a mental health podcast.
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:I am not an expert.
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:My knowledge comes from lived experience.
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:I lean into professionals who have degrees
and masters and careers in mental health.
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:I mentioned this in one of the
earlier episodes: I started
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:out my life as an orphan.
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:I was born in Bogota,
Colombia in the early '80s.
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:That should give you a rough
idea about how old I am.
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:My biological mother had eight children.
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:I am one of the six girls, and
my brother, who I was adopted
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:with, is one of the two boys.
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:By the grace of God, I was
adopted with my brother, Lewie.
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:We are 13 months apart, share the same
biological dad, and were raised together.
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:I will be sitting down with
him, very soon to talk about
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:his recent 30 days in treatment.
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:When I was born, I was
brought to the orphanage.
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:When he was born, my mother
decided to take me back.
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:I believe that she also
struggled with mental health.
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:I did get the privilege of meeting her.
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:We had a few conversations,
and they were hard.
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:Not just because there was a language
barrier and an education difference,
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:but because I'd always fantasized
about my biological mother, and when
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:I learned the harsh reality of her
situation, it was really hard for me.
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:Clara passed away this past
year from colon cancer, and my
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:biological father died in the '80s.
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:Out of the eight of us, I know all of
my siblings, with the exception of one.
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:We're all a year apart.
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:My sister, brother, and
I all share one dad.
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:My younger sister has another, and
my older siblings have a third.
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:I have a sister in Sweden, a
brother in Florida, a sister on
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:the East Coast, and my youngest
sister still lives in Colombia.
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:When I was adopted, I was a toddler.
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:I spoke Spanish.
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:I was in an orphanage with my brother,
and I didn't know anything else.
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:I had never had the opportunity
to bond with a parent.
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:When I came here, I was diagnosed
with attachment disorder.
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:My brother was diagnosed
with failure to thrive.
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:These are things we'll get into
when we have someone who can
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:speak to these definitions.
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:What I can tell you is from day one,
I had trauma and attachment issues.
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:That is still an issue for me today.
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:My biggest fear is abandonment.
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:I have many experiences of being
abandoned, even after being adopted.
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:I was a sad and confused child.
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:I remember feeling empty
from a very young age.
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:I remember feeling confused and alone.
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:That made my childhood very
complicated, and as I got older,
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:my struggles became more apparent.
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:In hindsight, I was struggling
with identity and belonging.
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:I was struggling with connection and
the ability to have healthy, bonded
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:relationships, specifically with women.
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:I turned to men for validation.
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:And as a teenager, things
got more complicated.
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:I ended up getting sent away.
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:I was in 10th grade.
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:I remember my dad asking me if
I wanted to go to this boarding
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:school an hour away from the cities.
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:At the time, I was totally
repulsed by that idea.
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:I absolutely didn't wanna
go to boarding school.
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:The next day, I got sent to a
behavior modification program
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:under the Worldwide Association of
Specialty Programs in LaVerkin, Utah.
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:Recently came out with a Netflix
documentary called "The Program."
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:If you haven't seen "The Program,"
want to be disturbed, check it out.
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:It is all about struggling teens
getting sent away to be abused.
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:It was sold as this special place
for kids who were really struggling.
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:I was.
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:I was struggling.
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:I was depressed, I was
sad, I was withdrawn.
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:I had unhealthy relationships.
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:I was sitting in LaVerkin,
Utah, in a lockdown facility
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:where they strip-searched me.
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:That's how my experience started.
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:Why in the hell was I there?
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:The people running this program
stripped us down to nothing, both
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:physically and psychologically.
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:Everyone would go there under the guise
of going on vacation, or most were
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:pulled out of their beds in the middle
of the night by complete strangers,
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:handcuffed, blindfolded, thrown into
vehicles to then travel to La Verkin,
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:Utah, where they were thrown into a
holding cell and we were strip-searched.
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:They took everything.
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:I was then given a uniform and
a bin to carry hygiene products.
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:If this sounds like jail, it was.
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:I mention it as jail because it
truly was a prison for children.
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:I spent 19 months of my life in survival
mode in La Verkin, Utah, at The Program.
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:One of the most fascinating things
about this is, these people were
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:making a fortune exploiting us at
the detriment of our mental health.
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:I was sitting with my brother
last weekend, and we were
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:talking about The Program.
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:He ended up going
shortly after I got home.
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:He remembered four really
good friends from The Program,
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:and all of them are dead.
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:With the exception of one that died in
a home invasion, the rest of them all
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:committed suicide or overdosed on drugs.
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:And that is not uncommon for
survivors of The Program.
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:I was brainwashed, and my mental
capacity was overloaded with information
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:that was not true and programmed
to make me complicit and compliant.
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:We walked in single-file lines down
hallways that were whitewashed.
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:We weren't allowed to speak to each
other or go outside or use the phone.
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:I didn't use a computer for 19 months.
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:I didn't speak to a
single friend from home.
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:I didn't see anyone in my family outside
of my mom, my dad, and my brother.
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:The one time when they visited
me and the one time I went home
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:for a very restricted home visit.
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:I was a prisoner, and the emotional
abuse that I went through was
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:something that I would never
wish upon the naughtiest child.
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:I was one of the fortunate ones.
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:I have friends that were raped and
molested by the staff, that were sent
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:to other programs in the desert of
Utah or Mexico, where they were starved
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:and forced to do physical labor or
physical activity from dawn until dusk.
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:That was a form of
discipline at The Program.
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:When I was there, I was perceived
as one of the golden children
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:because I was scared straight.
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:The Program was designed to do that.
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:I remember my friends had grace and
patience for me, because when they
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:came over, they were so excited
to see me, and I was in shock.
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:I sat there in my backyard and
looked at them and said, " I
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:don't wanna be friends with you.
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:I can no longer associate
with anyone from my past."
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:That is what The Program did to me.
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:I remember them walking away feeling
empty and disconnected, which
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:now I identify as disassociative.
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:If we back up a little, in the midst of my
struggles before getting sent away, I had
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:a boyfriend who was a year older than me,
and he was also adopted, and that meant
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:that we were supposed to be together.
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:When I got sent away, we
didn't talk or connect.
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:When I got home, he was the only
person I ended up reaching out to.
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:We immediately got back together.
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:What was an unhealthy, immature
relationship before The Program spiraled
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:into an abusive relationship with
an addict /alcoholic, and it stayed
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:that way from 18 to 21 years old.
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:Those first 20 years
were pretty traumatic.
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:I ended up marrying a genuinely good man.
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:We ended up being better friends than
soulmates, and he is an excellent father.
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:We were married for 10 years, but
my marriage ended quite abruptly.
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:My turning point was the
pandemic and losing my business.
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:That's when the downward spiral of
my adult life started to unravel.
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:That is for another episode.
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:There's a lot of details in my childhood
that I have not shared, but I think
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:they're important to unpack when we have
professionals part of the conversation
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:because it involves sexual assault, deeper
abuse, and really traumatic experiences.
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:The overlap from the first half
of my life is my children and my
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:three greatest accomplishments.
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:They are unbelievably
resilient, healthy human beings.
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:If I've done one thing right,
it is them and being their mom.
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:I'm grateful to be in a position of
recovery and where I can share these
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:lived experiences and talk about them.
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:I know people out there can relate
to some of the things I have shared.
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:I really appreciate you listening in.
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:I hope that my stories
find a way into your heart.
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:Whether it's a new perspective, or open
to hearing and learning from people that
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:don't have the same journeys as you.
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:Today, I live a very full, happy,
healthy life, and I equate all of that
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:to getting sober and being in recovery.
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:My favorite thing in the
whole world is being a mom.
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:They are proof that you don't need perfect
parents, and generational trauma can be
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:broken, and by the grace of God, I have
had the strength to be an example of that.
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:Then there's Steve, not only my
co-host, but my partner in life,
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:my best friend, and my fiancé.
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:Steve is the only person I've ever met
who's capable of matching my energy.
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:He is the calm, and I am the chaos.
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:Steve is the most incredible
human, and I am so grateful that
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:he came into my life when he did.
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:While trauma has surrounded me, the
people in my life are the reason
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:I was able to get through those
dark days and hours and moments.
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:Thank you for continuing to listen.
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:I hope that for those of you out
there who I don't know, you feel
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:like I can be someone in your corner.
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:Whether we ever meet each other in
person or not, I hope to be someone
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:that not only is a resource, but is
someone you can depend on in your
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:darkest hours when you need it most.
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:Thank you so much for listening to
this episode of Mental Wealth Rx.
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:If something we talked about
resonated with you or challenged
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:you to think differently, then
we've done what we came here to do.
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:Mental Wealth Rx isn't about
having all the answers.
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:It's about creating a space where
we can have real conversations
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:and give people a place where
they can feel seen and not judged.
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:If you liked the episode, we'd be
so grateful if you'd help us grow.
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:Subscribe, leave a review, share with
someone who can use the conversation.
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:You can also follow us on social media
for behind-the-scenes content, upcoming
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:guests, more conversations about mental
health, recovery, relationships, et
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:cetera, and what it really means to
build a life, not just survive one.
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:One final thing.
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:We're not doctors or therapists.
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:We're people with lived experience
sharing our perspectives.
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:Nothing we discussed here
should replace professional,
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:medical, or mental health advice.
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:If you're struggling, please reach
out to a qualified mental health
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:professional or someone you trust.
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:If you're in crisis or think you may
harm yourself or someone else, call 911
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:or go to your nearest emergency room.
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:You can also text 988 to reach
the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
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:That's 988.
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:Until next time, take care of your mind,
protect your peace, and remember, real
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:recovery doesn't come from a bottle.
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:We'll see you next time
on Mental Wealth Rx.
