In this episode, Part 3 of our communication series, Robert and Sharla dive into the hidden power of judgments in our everyday language and how they sabotage the intimacy we crave in relationships. Building on Part 1 (the cost of not speaking up) and Part 2 (three communication goals: mutual understanding, connection, and empathy), we explore why we’re conditioned to judge—especially in Western culture—and how this “conflict-escalating” language disconnects us from our partners’ needs. Featuring a powerful story from NVC founder Marshall Rosenberg and practical tips from Nonviolent Communication (NVC), this episode offers a roadmap to shift from judgments to observations. Plus, we introduce our new workbook to guide you step-by-step!
Key Takeaways
- A judgment is any thought or statement that labels or diagnoses someone (e.g., “You’re lazy”), implying fault and escalating conflict by cutting off empathy and understanding.
- We’re indoctrinated into judgmental language from childhood through family (“You’re naughty”), media (heroes vs. villains), school (grades), and Western culture’s emphasis on blame over needs.
- The Rosenberg story from Malaysia highlights how language shapes thought—without a “to be” verb for judging, a culture avoids pathologizing others.
- Shift to observations (e.g., “I noticed the dishes were left undone”) to open doors to connection instead of closing them with judgments.
- Practice daily with our workbook’s exercises to rewire your communication habits!
2. Take the Challenge: This week, make one observation instead of a judgment (e.g., “I noticed your clothes on the floor”) and email us at masteryourmarriage@gmail.com with your experience!
3. Leave a Review: Head to Apple Podcasts, rate us five stars, and write a quick review to join our weekly giveaway—your feedback helps us grow!
4. Tune In Next Week: Part 4 will focus on expressing needs and desires—don’t miss it!
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