Welcome back to Don’t Retire… Graduate! Today’s episode invites you on a journey from small-town Alabama to the boardrooms and stages of South Florida as we dive deep into the power of mindset, legacy, and building wealth with intention. I’m thrilled to introduce my guest, Neal Oates Jr.—bestselling author of The Affluent Negroes, keynote speaker, award-winning instructor, executive business growth coach, and host of the Beyond the Velvet Rope podcast. Neal works with entrepreneurs and high-performing professionals, with a special emphasis on helping minority business owners accelerate financial independence and create generational legacies. In our engaging conversation, Neal and I explore his unique upbringing as the son of a Navy veteran and entrepreneur who instilled the value of “choosing the great” over the easy—and how that perspective shaped Neal's drive to expand beyond the borders of his rural hometown. We discuss Neal’s journey of reinvention as he moved from Alabama to Florida, making conscious choices to adapt and grow along the way. Neal opens up about career pivots, from being an educator to keynote speaking, consulting, and authorship, demonstrating how leaning into natural gifts and passions can unlock both fulfillment and financial opportunities. 5 Key Takeaways:
Mindset Fuels Growth: Neal’s journey underlines the importance of believing not only that big dreams are possible, but also that they’re possible for you—for everyone, regardless of background.
Legacy and Preparation: The power of generational wisdom and intentional networking sets the stage for both financial independence and emotional resilience. Neal’s upbringing surrounded by older mentors was key to his success.
Principles for Affluence: The NEGROES acronym (Network strategically, Educate yourself, Generate wealth through entrepreneurship, Reinforce resilience, Own it all, Excel everywhere, Serve others) offers a blueprint for sustainable wealth and community impact.
Embracing Leadership: Leadership isn’t innate—it’s made through conscious choices, preparation, and the willingness to learn from failure. Anyone can grow into a leader.
Generational and Cultural Perspectives Matter: Understanding the context—whether growing up in a segregated rural town or breaking barriers in new cities—is crucial to appreciating the nuances in building both personal and financial legacies.
Join us as we rethink what it means to “graduate” into your next chapter with purpose, authenticity, and an abundance mentality. As always, don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review if you enjoyed this conversation as much as I did. Let’s continue learning, leading, and redefining the journey toward a truly meaningful retirement—and a truly prosperous life! [embed]https://youtu.be/uWY2Fdx8GBg?si=9L_3g1Q6Lt3yjpFb[/embed]
Mentioned in this episode:
Don't Retire... Graduate! is Presented by BFG Financial Advisors
BFG Financial Advisors helps individuals and families design a financial future that supports the life they want to live—not just the numbers on a page. From retirement income and tax strategies to legacy planning and investment management, our team builds personalized plans designed for clarity and confidence. Ready to take the next step? Visit bfgfa.com to schedule a free consultation and start planning your next chapter.
Welcome to Don't Retire, Graduate, brought to you by BFG Financial Advisors. We're here to rethink what retirement really means to you so you can graduate into your next chapter of life with purpose and with passion. I'm your host, Eric Brotman, and this is— I can't believe— our 7th season. We'll be bringing you interviews with guests who will share their money stories with us every other Thursday. So if you haven't already done so, please subscribe so you never miss an episode. Today, I'm pleased to be joined by Neil Oates Jr. Neil's a bestselling author, a keynote speaker, an award-winning instructor, and an executive business growth coach. He's a busy man.
Eric Brotman [:
He helps entrepreneurs and high-performing professionals build authority, attract affluent opportunities, and create scalable strategies that convert expertise into long-term wealth. And who doesn't want that? Neil's work bridges mindset, premium positioning, and practical growth systems with a special emphasis on helping minority business owners accelerate financial independence and legacy building. He's the author of The Affluent Negroes and the host of Beyond the Velvet Rope podcast. Neal, welcome to Don't Retire, Graduate.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
Thank you for having me, Eric. I'm excited for this conversation today, sir.
Eric Brotman [:
You know, this is, this is going to be fun because I know you have some great stories. I know you're a storyteller as a podcaster and author, a coach. I mean, I know you have some stories, but before you dispense lots of wisdom, Let's hear a little bit about you, your background, and how you got to be interested in both personal finance and business.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
So I am originally from Alabama, so I'm a country boy at heart, and my family and I, we were there our entire lives. I am now living in South Florida in the Fort Lauderdale area. And so what I wanted to do, I wanted to be bigger than my hometown. There were only 1,170 people in my hometown, and so I had I had some great opportunities and I had great parents who said, Neil, I want you to be bigger than what you see. And so that just forced me to be hungry. It forced me, or should I say, it encouraged me to look outside of what I knew. And so as I learned more, as I grew more and got connected with more individuals, I started to see what was possible. And so that's where I ended up here in South Florida.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
And I tell everyone that I believe that everything prior to me arriving South Florida was just done in preparation for my arrival.
Eric Brotman [:
Okay. And then you graduated, to use the nomenclature, to the next right? level, Yes, sir. So I have to ask, because we, we, you're leaving us hanging, is it, is it Roll Tide or War Eagle for you? That's important.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
So it is, it is neither. And I know this is a clean show, so I'm gonna say I'm a Trojan man. I went to Troy State at the time, but it's Troy University now. So it's neither for me. So I'm a diehard Troy fan. I played for Troy University. Trojans. And now, um, if the question comes up, I'm like, no, it's, it's all about Troy, the other school in Alabama.
Eric Brotman [:
All right, all right. Now see, you, you— that was a script I was not expecting. I thought you'd be real passionate about one or the other, like being caught toilet papering the other people's trees or something, something goofy down there or whatever. So, all right, so, so first of all, why Florida? What was, what was the allure there? Did you have family there? Was this truly just a branching out, new start after, after school?
Neal Oates Jr. [:
No. So really it was because my wife came to school here to become a physician assistant at Barry University. And so we started in Alabama, moved to Tallahassee with that opportunity, and then ended up here in South Florida. And so with each step, it caused me to grow. It caused me to really expand my thought process coming from this real small town, then going to Tallahassee where it was still small-ish, had that hometown feel with the college environment. And then from there, coming down to Miami. So, for me, it was moving with the wife as she pursued her professional desires, and then me having to adjust, adapt, and then somewhat reinvent myself along the journey. So, when you talk about growing and evolving, I've had to do a lot of that by force, but it was a conscious choice that I made, and I'm glad that I did.
Eric Brotman [:
Well, one of the things that, that, you know, significant others and married couples do is make sacrifices for one another for their professional lives sometimes. And sounds like that was one, although it doesn't sound like a tremendous sacrifice as much as a huge opportunity for you, which is great. But, you know, sometimes it's the other way around. Sometimes it's the— it's the spouse who gets the job in the town of 1,100 and you wind up going that direction, too. So, you know, this worked out nicely for you now. A little bit about your, a little bit about your professional career, because being a keynote speaker is hard. It's a tough grind. It's a lot of travel.
Eric Brotman [:
Being a coach and a consultant is rewarding work, naturally. But also, you know, you're not a therapist, but sometimes you might feel like one. And same thing's true on financial and business matters. And then being an author is no picnic either. Like, you've chosen some tough roads. So how did all of that come to be?
Neal Oates Jr. [:
So first it came with the realization that I believe my father shared with me when I was about 14 years old. And he told me, he said, son, some people's lives are meant to be easy. Some people's lives are meant to be great. He says, and I want you to choose the right one. And so he didn't tell me what to choose, but I could tell from the look in his face that it was not going to be choose the easy route. And so my dad, he was an entrepreneur after leaving the Navy. So he owned his own electrical and plumbing farming business. And so, in his business, he would always ask, when has easy ever been the right choice? And so, when I had to choose between easy and great, I started looking at, and I do wanna say this, Eric, I was blessed to have an environment of people around me who would advise me.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
So, my dad was 60 years old when I was born. Okay. So, he was born in 1921. Wow. He was 60 years old when I was born. And then as a side note, I tell everyone, I have a younger brother. I remind my wife of this, that I have a great pedigree, right? And, and so people say your dad was 60 when you were born, but here's why that's important. Here's how I got to making those tough choices.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
I, everyone that was in my circle that I grew up with were in their 60s, 70s, and 80-year-old, right? That stage of life. So I was very fortunate from the time I was 5 years old to have these decades of wisdom just in casual conversation, right? I played collegiate football, but my dad and I never threw a football together. We never played any sports. It was sitting down, having conversations. We would fish, we would hunt, we would talk about life. And so what I realized was that when it came time for me to make decisions, I gleaned from them. So you ask, why did I choose those tough areas? It's because I started with what I was good at. You know, I was skilled at communication because I had been around communicators for my entire life, right? Hearing.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
And you talk about me being able to tell stories. A lot of the stories I tell now are just, they're told in the spirit of the 60 or 70-year-old guy who has seen a lot, who's told enough lies and laughed loud enough that they have a spin and a certain way, a sauce that they put on their stories. And now I'm able to do that myself. So I don't believe that I chose difficult things as much as I chose things that seemed easy to me and walking in my skills and my giftings and talents. And so that's why when someone says, listen, you chose all author, coach, keynote speaker. But that's also why I get to charge the rates I do, because it's easy for me, but it's challenging for others.
Eric Brotman [:
Yeah. Some people would rather, you know, get a root canal than, than, or jump off a building than do public speaking. I, it's never frightened me. I've always been, I've, I consider it like a roller coaster. It's always been a rush for me. I love it. Take us back to your first ever keynote. How long ago was it? How did it go? What were the nerves? How was that like a Saturday afternoon kickoff? Maybe the first game.
Eric Brotman [:
What was the mindset for your first talk?
Neal Oates Jr. [:
Can I go back further than my first keynote and the presentation, the speech that changed everything for me? All right. So, I was in 4-H, right? So, 4-H is this organization, maybe some of you know it, but We were doing a— I had won all of my local presentations and I was talking about the history of the peanut, Dr. George Washington Carver. And we were at Troy State University for our regional and state competition. And I had just blown everyone out of the water. I think I was in 4th grade. I had parents telling me, man, I'm glad, or my 5th or 6th grade student is lucky that you're not competing against them because they would lose. And Eric, I was arrogant.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
I mean,, you know, I'm the last one to speak. And so everyone that's in front of me, they're like, Neil, congratulations. We know you've already won. We've seen that the talk has been legit. Um, and so, you know, in fourth grade, fourth grade. Okay. Wow. And as everyone was coming up and presenting, I would give the little polite clap, you know, like, okay, yes, good effort.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
Great second, third place efforts. But here's why I wanted to go back to this speak more than the keynote, because when I got up there, I went up there arrogant, Eric. I went up there knowing like, hey, this is not even mine to lose. I could say nothing and still win. You know what the reality is? I probably would've been better off saying nothing because I got up there and I had my notes, but the arrogance and the bravado and the ego, I was going and everything was smooth on pace. And I see I had the audience, but then I probably puffed my chest up just a little bit too much and I forgot. One word. I don't even know what the word was, but it was the equivalent of Dr.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
Martin Luther King saying, "I have a," and not knowing what the next word. That's the power that had. And it wrecked everything inside of me. And that one word, I broke. And so I mentioned I have my parents there in the front. I have my older and younger brother looking at me. And You know when a kid messes up and everyone tries to clap them off the stage and they try to encourage them? So the host comes up and she's like, great job, let's give it up for Neil. I look at my dad and my dad gives me— so Navy veteran, he gives me one of these, like, keep going.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
And I'm like, what do you mean keep going? Can't I just leave? And my dad gave me that look that only a father can give a son. And he looks at me and he goes like this. And so tears are streaming down my face. And I'm not talking about little things that you can't See, we call them crocodile tears, the big ones that just has my whole face wet. And I'm looking down, it's falling on my paper, and I stumbled through the rest of my presentation. My brothers do not— they continue to remind me, they say, Junior, we've seen you at your worst. And so I stumbled through my presentation and at the end I come in last place. And the reason I wanted to share that, because I remember I had to make a decision.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
My parents told me, they said, Junior, how does it feel? I'm like, what do you mean, how does it feel? Did you see they didn't laugh? But I would rather they had laughed. And my dad says, you were arrogant and egotistical going up. You were humbled coming down. And so from that, that has changed every— that's changed the way I prepare. It's changed the importance that I put on myself versus those that I speak to. And it has changed my preparation and delivery and why I do and why I present the way I present today.
Eric Brotman [:
That is a great story. And great. it's It may not have felt great at the time, right? Yeah. No, it wasn't great at the time. You know, I can tell you the first time I gave a talk and I don't know if I've ever shared this on the show before, but the first time I gave a talk was in 7th grade and I was giving a talk on a very important topic, which was the heavy metal band Mötley Crüe, which felt almost as important as the peanut at the time to me anyway. And so I'm doing a talk and I had written my notes and I was nervous and I mean note cards. I had written my talk and I said, Mick Mars plays the bass instead of the bass because I spelled it the way it's spelled, but I said it the way it looked. And I still to this day, 40 years later, have people go, I remember the bass.
Eric Brotman [:
Like they, like that was one of those moments. And I carried on and I finished up. And I said, man, I'm never writing a speech again. And I haven't. I have done notes and talking points, and— but I have never written an actual talk since that time. I think preparation is important, but that was— that was humbling for me. That was terrifying. I was in front of the whole school and it was not a good day.
Eric Brotman [:
But, you know, it happens. I've had it. I have I do a talk as a grown adult. I do a talk today called The 3 Secrets of the Happiest Retirees. And I was on a podcast and the guest asked me about the 3 secrets and I forgot the 3rd one. Like, I've been giving this talk for years and I blanked. And I'm like, this has never happened to me before. Thank goodness we're not live, but completely blanked.
Eric Brotman [:
And so I think it's human and I think it is good for us to have to take some lumps. So Let's talk about the book, because unlike talks that give you an immediate feedback, you know how you did, you get immediate gratification if it went well, you get immediate comeuppance if it didn't. Books are different. And I know your book has been really well received and you've done well with it. Tell me about the, the genesis of the book itself and why your message was so important to get out there.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
Well, This is not the book that I started writing. First of all, I, I think that's important because what I wanted to write, I wanted to write a book called Beyond the Velvet Rope: Working with the World's Affluents. And I, I shared that with my coach and she said, Neil, it's a good idea. That book would sell. I know that book would sell, but that's not your book. That's not who you are. That's not what's needed now. I need you to go back and do some work.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
And I thought she was talking about working on the manuscript. And she said, Neil, I want you to do some internal work. I want you to look and see what book is needed. What book would you need if you were starting out? And that's where The Affluent Negroes came from. And really, I knew that my family was different besides having an old dad, right, who was 60 years old, besides having brothers, and my mom was an educator. But I knew there was something different about my family because our experience in this small town was so much different from others who looked like me and who grew up in the neighborhood, right? For instance, a story I tell in the book is that for years, and I'm talking about probably into my high school or college years, I didn't know that it was abnormal to go to a car dealership and not buy a car the first time you go there, right? Because my experience was when my dad would say, hey, we're went to go look at cars, that meant everyone clean your car, make sure all your stuff is out because we're coming home in a brand new car, right? And so I didn't understand that not everyone that was around us could not afford to take summer vacations, that we couldn't have big birthday parties because that was our reality. And I knew that my parents had done something, that they had insulated us from what I'm going to say a lot of realities, but I didn't know why that was until later I started having conversations with my dad and conversations with my mom and then saying, well, hey, how is it that you didn't, like, you didn't make a lot of money, but we always had enough money, right? And so the idea of saving and the idea of investing and the idea of planning for what you want and delayed gratification, all of those things were instilled in us at a young age. We just didn't have a title for it.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
And, and so what the book does is I wanted to put some tangible principles that people could say, okay, I can see this, I can go after this, I can try to implement this and have a system and a process for it. So that's how The Affluent Negroes was birthed.
Eric Brotman [:
And when was the book written? When did you publish?
Neal Oates Jr. [:
So it was published earlier in, so early 2025, February 2025 is when it was released. And it's just so happened that it was released on February 17th, 2025, which is my wife's birthday. Well, February 17th, not 2025. I don't want you all thinking my wife was born the same year. I mean, but no, I don't think.
Eric Brotman [:
I want to make sure anyone— I'm clear.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
Okay. I don't know. Once again, I never want to assume.
Eric Brotman [:
Well, and I thought I was an old dad, by the way. I was 38 when I became a father, and I thought I was the old dad because I looked at my daughter's friends' parents and they were all younger than me. So I can't imagine. I can't imagine. First of all, I'm not 60 yet. But I can't imagine doing all that again. So you heard it here first. I'm turning 54.
Eric Brotman [:
By the time this goes live, I'll be 54 years old. I can't imagine having an infant. I can't even— that is unbelievable to me that someone— and of course you have wisdom and you have life experience and hopefully you have resources. And, you know, young parents struggle in a different way because young parents a lot of times struggle because they're still making ends meet. They're still trying to figure it out. And kids are expensive. Older parents struggle in a different way because they don't toss the football with their sons as much. You know, they're not doing some of the things that a young dad would do in some cases.
Eric Brotman [:
But, but yeah, that's a, that's an interesting, interesting dynamic to be in a small town and to be a bit of an outlier. Now tell me a little bit about the town. Was this, was this town working middle class? Was it a, was it a wealthy community in general? Was it Was it rural? Like, what— tell me a little bit about where you grew up. You're laughing because you know and I have no idea.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
So, Florala, Alabama. So first, the name is Florala. The way they came up with the name, it's on the Florida-Alabama state line. So they took the first 4 letters of Florida, the first 2 letters of Alabama, and just made Florala. So that's about as far as the extent of the creativity goes there. But working class, right? Middle class. And it, it was still very much a segregated town. And so this is the wild thing.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
Me being born in 1982, there were places where, for instance, in my hometown, there were two plumbers and two electricians, Mr. Marvin and my dad. So Mr. Marvin, he handled all of the white side of town and my dad handled the Black side of town. And so I talk about the experience in the Affluent Negroes and Negroes being the acronym for the Seven Principles. But remember my reference circle, my reference group were these African American men who had fought in World War II, who had come home and who were still treated like second or third rate citizens. So in my mind, in my eyes, I heard my superheroes being mistreated by that side of town, by the white people, the white population. But do you know who my dad's best friend was? It was Mr.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
Marvin. And because they were the only two who could understand what the other was talking about. So even with all of the differences and everything that society and the culture and the city had against them, or that would try to drive a wedge, the fact that they were skilled tradesmen in both of electrician and plumbing, it brought them together. And so I said, Dad, why do you and Mr. Marvin spend so much time together when he's taking your business? Like we could be over there. And he's like, no, he's not. He's given me tools, techniques. We talk about some of the similarities.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
We talk about the differences, how we can improve. And so that's what the town was like. So much so that even today, when you go back to the area there, there's still a big divide there. But the beauty is I was— oh, a very big divide where we're still flying Confederate flags and they're saying that is history, not hate, you know, that type thing. But the beauty is that when I go home, because of the way that I was raised, because of the reputation, and I talk about legacy that my father had there, that even today, if I go back home, um, I probably have access to 30 or 40 houses that I know where their spare keys are. And I have been away from home for 25 years. So when my wife, who is Cuban American, so when we go back, it's always the Black guy, the Cuban American, she looks white. So we go back home and I'm, hey, do you wanna go to, uh, Ms.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
Charlotte's house? And we just walk in and open the door and she's like, is this okay? I'm like, oh, Is of course it's okay. And so that's what the town is like. I would say that once you leave or if you don't leave Florella early, you're probably never going to leave. And so my wife wants to go back. We have a beautiful, the largest natural lake in the state of Alabama. My wife wants to go back and have a lake house and be there because we can both work remotely. My mom refuses to allow me to go back back home because she says that I'm too big for the city.
Eric Brotman [:
Wow. And how do you feel about it? Not, not that I want to get you in trouble with your wife or your mom, but, you know, taking sides there is a slippery slope. You can't win. But, but sort of, if you're going to straddle both sides of the fence, you're both right, uh, you know, ways. in your own How do you, how do you make that decision? You listen to Mom?
Neal Oates Jr. [:
No. So Mom, I have not listened to my mom in a very long time, and that's what makes our relationship so right? good, So I tell everyone that I'm my mom's favorite, at least in my eyes. And I tell her that I'm her favorite. She just doesn't know it yet. So for me, we would like, for instance, we own land. We might go back there, but it would not be a full-time thing just because I'm thinking from the business side of things, just increased travel, the fares, the rates, it just doesn't make sense right now.
Eric Brotman [:
Got it. Now, I've never heard of Florala. I've heard of Floribama. Is that another town also along that, that same, that same stretch between the two states?
Neal Oates Jr. [:
No, sir. So, so Floribama, it is more of like the Floribama Bar, uh, and so it's just one of those attractions that we have. Um, and then it's just— okay, yeah.
Eric Brotman [:
That'S a watering hole.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
Yes, sir.
Eric Brotman [:
Okay. All right, well, that's helpful. So, so it sounds— you were born in 1982. And the way you describe your town, I would've been more likely to say you must have been born in 1962 because, you know, that's not something that I experienced. It's not something that I saw a whole lot of. And I was born a decade, more than a decade before you, but didn't see that where I grew up in suburban Maryland. That's something I imagine that you have to, you have to sort of put in a box and just say, this is, this is legacy that some people are still exploring, still living? Are you talking, do small towns still have, this is the way it's always done, this is the way it's always going to be mentality? And is that, how hard is that to deal with if you're trying to change the narrative?
Neal Oates Jr. [:
So one, I don't try to change the narrative. That's the first thing. So we have to choose our battles and there are just some things that I'm not going to fight. But I will say that a lot of small towns are are still like that. But here's the harder part. The harder part for me that I've seen is that once individuals have the resource, they get up in age and they can leave, they find their ways, that they find their way to places like South Florida, right? They find their way to places where I am now, and now they have the resources. They might change the environment, but the mentality is the same. And so now we might have those from that environment back in Florala, they might follow me, not necessarily me, but I might encounter that same mentality down here in South Florida.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
And so what I've had to do, I've had to really decide what battles am I going to fight? And then who is my audience? Who am I going to speak to? And then am I going to have the resolve to be confident knowing that not everyone is going to agree, but be open to conversation? And so for me, I love conversation. I think I think that's where the podcast comes in. I love dissenting perspectives because I'm a student. I want to learn, I want to understand. And so for me, it's always just about an interesting interaction. And if I go in that way, even if I'm met with vehement denial, I'm okay with it because I believe that I'm better for the interaction than avoiding and not having a lot of what might be controversial or difficult interactions that others shy away Well, I think.
Eric Brotman [:
That'S a great perspective and being open-minded enough to hear different perspectives, even when they don't agree with you, even when they're not presented in a particularly kind way. Sometimes I will tell you that living as close as I do to Washington, D.C., that is unheard of. You know, we're 40 miles from D.C. where it's— that just doesn't happen. It's extremely rare where people who are ideologically divided are able to even find common ground. It's actually quite sad. So I wanna talk about your, I wanna talk about your, your principles. I wanna talk about the business consulting you're doing, um, and the kinds of folks you serve.
Eric Brotman [:
Um, and so if you could, if you could give us the, uh, sort of the crux of that, I, I would love to learn more about what you're doing, uh, as your day job, as you're consulting.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
So really, I'll start with my ideal or my elite client, as we call it. So we try to build an elite client profile. So it's really for the minority-owned, business, the minority entrepreneur, the minority business owner, the person who is an owner, but not quite a leader yet, meaning that they don't think like a leader. And, and so, of course, Eric, you know, there's a big difference between owning and leading. And so that's who my ideal or my elite client is. And really the work, most of the work that I do with the business consulting is helping them identify premium markets, look for opportunities to increase income with less stress, less work by being smart on the front end of the business. And, and then after that, it's really about those driven, motivated individuals who are tired of experiencing what we call the mediocre many, right? And so the entire goal is how can I help you position yourself where maybe you move into rooms because of a change in mindset and you feel deserving and understanding and adequate enough to really receive the things that inside you think are possible, but you might not think is possible for you. And so that's the first shift that we do with all of these 7 principles.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
The first one always goes back to, I ask 2 questions during our initial consultation with anyone who I'm considering bringing on as a client. I ask, do you believe whatever their goal, whatever their dream is, do you believe that's possible? possible? Is it And they will say yes. And I expect the yes there, otherwise it wouldn't be a goal or dream. But then the second question is, do you believe it's possible for you? And this is where we think that things are possible because we've seen someone else do it. But many of the clientele that I serve, they say, well, I grew up from the, in the wrong area. I don't speak the language. I look different. I've had these challenges.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
And so the first thing we have to understand that if it's possible for someone else, it is possible for them. And then we go into the those 7 principles, uh, that we outline in the book. So, um, if you're ready for me to share some of those, uh, I can.
Eric Brotman [:
Please. And I can, let's do it.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
Okay. So first, the title of the book, The Affluent Negroes, it, it's, it's something, right? And so people say, well, Neil, can I say that? I'm like, there are worse words that you said, right?
Eric Brotman [:
That's the way I started my day. I said, can I ask one of, one of our, one of our Black employees, I said, can I read this bio honest to goodness? Because 'cause that is not something in our lexicon anymore. It's just not. So thank you for allowing that grace because I said, well, that's the man's book.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
Right. So it's all But Eric, no, that's the purpose of this, to encourage conversation and to ask questions. Because my leaders at my church, they were like, Neil, we want to support your book, but how are we just gonna, how are we gonna say it? Just Neil's book? Do we say the Affluent book? I'm like, no, you say The Affluent Negroes. And here's why. And so a lot of my, coaching clients, when I say minorities, they're going to come from Latin, Central, South America because we think about minority. But in Spanish, negro just means black. So for different cultures, it has a different attachment, a different meaning. And so it's one of those things where depending on what your experience has been.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
So Negros, and the reason why first we called it the Affluent Negros and not Negro singular is because in our culture, in the black and brown communities, we often hear about the crab in the barrel mentality, or there can only be one at the top. And so the reason I made it plural intentionally was to let, uh, individuals know, let the audience know, my demographic know that there can be affluent Negroes, plural, that this is like, success is not singular, that we can have an abundant mentality and not think about scarcity. But then the 7 principles all come from what I consider biblical principles. The first one is, uh, network strategically. So that's the N. The E is educate yourself. The G is generate wealth through entrepreneurship. The R is reinforce resilience.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
The O is own it all. E, excel everywhere. And then S is serve others. And so that's where the term NEGROES, the acronym came from. And, but it really, and the reason why I think it was just a divide thing and it fits so well is because at the bottom of everything at the beginning is networking strategically. I talked about the environment that I grew up in having the that key mastermind group. Like I had my first mastermind group when I was 5 years old. How many people get to say that, right? And so having, having that network has been so important.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
And I believe if you have the right people around you, they will help educate you. They'll help you figure out how to generate wealth through entrepreneurship, help you be resilient. They'll help you understand the idea of owning it all. When we talk about owning it all, it's maybe owning the traumas that you deal with, own, like being accountable accountable, and then excel everywhere, and then serve others. So, um, the foundation is there. And as I walk individuals through this, they start saying— one of the best compliments that I have is a 76-year-old, a very close friend of mine. He is diehard opposite look of me, age of me, 76-year-old white guy. And he was like, hey, Neil, I guess I'm a Negro now, huh? And the reason he says it is because he has implemented those 7 principles.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
So for him now, it is a word of principles and guidance and strategy and process, as opposed to something that is no, stay away, something that might be perceived as bad.
Eric Brotman [:
Interesting. Well, first of all, the principles are great. I can see how they're helpful. I hope our audience— and we're going to let you tell folks where to find the book in a minute. I have 2 more questions for you, Neil, and we're running out of time. 2 questions. The first one is, are leaders born or made?
Neal Oates Jr. [:
I believe that leaders are made. And the reason I say that is because I was not born to be in the front. But I will say, I believe that they're made by the decisions that they make. So when I say made, I'm not, I don't think it's an external, I don't think it's an environment. I think that first we make our decisions and then our decisions make us because there have been times James very early on, even before I gave the presentation about the peanut and George Washington Carver, that had I made different choices, I would have been made into a different person and I would be passive. I would not be the type of person who would be comfortable writing a book and putting it out there and sharing my philosophy and my thought. So I 100% believe that we are made into leaders. That's where I, that's also what I'm intentional about, helping those people who were because born 'cause all of us were born.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
We might have been born not with this idea or even the belief of leadership, but if we harness, if we go after, if we're intentional, I believe that you can make yourself into an effective leader.
Eric Brotman [:
I love that. I hope people will grab ahold of that 'cause I think there's a lot of folks out there who think, oh, that's not me. I'm not a leader in the clubhouse. That's somebody else. Somebody else is the team captain. Just on the team. And I, I do think that there's, there's behaviors. Um, now I do think there's probably some external— there's some nature and some nurture here, I would think.
Eric Brotman [:
I mean, your parents encouraged you to do some things and, and gave in. Your dad was obviously a terrific role model in a lot of ways, so, um, that played a role, but you still had to grab the ring and go for it. So last question, and you're not allowed to get off this show without giving us the best answer. I mean, this is really important, and that is, okay, you know, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Neal Oates Jr. [:
So I have, I've thought about something like this uh, before, and, and so this, it might be a corny answer, but it's my answer. When I grow up, I want to be the type of person that I would want to be when I grew up, right? And what I say by, what I mean by that is a lot of my work is done on the weekends. I volunteer at my church for the, for the kindergarten through 5th grade ministry. And so all day, every day, I speak kid., right? I speak kid, I think kid, I make things very simple. And so I want to be the type of person that if I were 5 years old, I would look at me and say, that's who I want to be. Because fortunately enough, that's who my dad was. So I look at my dad and say, that's who I want to be when I grow up. So hopefully when I'm 80 years old, I'm that person that I would want to be when I'm 5 years old.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
And if I have done that, it's been a success.
Eric Brotman [:
I would never bet against you, my friend. Good stuff. How can folks find out more about your coaching, about your book, and about your podcast, which is also terrific? We didn't talk about it today, but it's worth checking out. I thoroughly enjoy it. Where can folks find you?
Neal Oates Jr. [:
So the easiest and the best way to find me is at worldrenownedcoaching.com, World Renowned Coaching. And from there, everything about me, contact contact info, uh, we'll go there. For the book, it's going to be the title of the book, theaffluentnegros.com, theaffluentnegros.com. And on both of those pages, there will be links to the podcast. Uh, you can also search the podcast wherever you listen to your podcast. It's Beyond the Velvet Rope. Um, and we really talk about how do we move from being a generalist to a specialist, not only in business but in life. Uh, make some decisions so that you don't have to be a wandering generality, but you can be part of the elite few.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
So worldrenownedcoaching.com, theaffluentnegros.com, or search up Beyond the Velvet Rope wherever you listen to your podcast.
Eric Brotman [:
Neil, I hope people will do that. I mean, you've dispensed wisdom. I could talk to you for 3 hours. So this was great. Thank you for being on the show. Terrific guest, terrific episode. I knew you would be. And, uh, I, I know we're recording this right before the new year, so I'll wish you a happy new year, even though by the time this is live, it'll be 2026.
Eric Brotman [:
Thanks for being here, Neil.
Neal Oates Jr. [:
Thank you so much, Eric.
Eric Brotman [:
I'd like to thank everybody for watching and listening today. If you enjoy our show, please don't keep it a secret. Share it with friends and family so they can join you on your journey to financial freedom. We'll be back in 2 weeks with another engaging guest. In the meantime, next Thursday, be sure to check out BFG Financial Advisors webinar series, Diary of a Financial Advisor, which you can find at bfg university.com. For now, this is your host, Eric Brotman, reminding you, don't retire, graduate.
Voiceover [:
Securities offered through Kestra Investment Services LLC, Kestra IS, member FINRA/SIPC. Investment advisory services offered through Kestra Advisory Services LLC, Kestra AS, an affiliate of Kestra IS. Kestra IS or Kestra AS are not affiliated with Brotman Financial or any other entity discussed.