This podcast is for general information only. Please speak with a medical professional first before trying anything mentioned in the episode. The views expressed are the opinions of each individual. Healing In Hindsight® does not endorse the ideologies or beliefs of its guest. Please do your own research.  We believe in being able to have a conversation even with differing opinions.

In the midst of a depression, caused by personal and professional setbacks, Taylor unexpectedly abandons her diabetes lifestyle brand, only to realize that it's exactly what she needed to pull herself out of the darkness.

The episode is about why I left. I was trying to figure out why I didn't want to do the show anymore. I was struggling with depression and I thought I was done with the show.

"I just kind of decided that I wanted Healing in Hindsight to be about living diabetes your way."

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. The difficulties of maintaining a diabetes lifestyle brand

2. The challenges of living with diabetes in a modern world

3. The importance of tailoring diabetes management to the individual

Resources:

Other episodes you'll enjoy:

https://goodpods.app.link/N26zj1iCwvb

https://goodpods.app.link/Q3ZgZRjCwvb

https://goodpods.app.link/MbLopCkCwvb

Connect with me:

Instagram

Facebook

YouTube

LinkedIn

Website

Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here!

https://goodpods.com/podcasts/healing-in-hindsight-220360

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

OP3 - https://op3.dev/privacy
Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy

Taylor: 00:00:00

Okay We won't be here for super long.

Taylor: 00:00:02

I just wanted to reintroduce myself, tell everybody what to expect, let you

Taylor: 00:00:08

know how things have been going for me.

Taylor: 00:00:10

If you don't know me, my name is Taylor Danielle.

Taylor: 00:00:12

I run Healing in Hindsight, which is a diabetes lifestyle brand,

Taylor: 00:00:16

and it all started with the blog.

Taylor: 00:00:20

that eventually became a podcast.

Taylor: 00:00:22

And that's where we're at today.

Taylor: 00:00:24

And I've been doing this for about two years now.

Taylor: 00:00:28

Started when the pandemic happened because I realized that it was

Taylor: 00:00:31

something that I still wanted to do.

Taylor: 00:00:33

I kept the website alive for literally years and didn't do anything with it.

Taylor: 00:00:38

So fast forward from 2015 when I was diagnosed with type two diabetes.

Taylor: 00:00:43

I'm now six years in.

Taylor: 00:00:45

My diaversary was last November.

Taylor: 00:00:48

But I decided during the pandemic when myself, like many others

Taylor: 00:00:53

was laid off that it was time to.

Taylor: 00:00:56

What I wanted healing in hindsight to be, I had started it as a blog to

Taylor: 00:01:02

catalog my journey through this because my diagnosis was considered young.

Taylor: 00:01:06

I was 25 at the time and it was just not common for someone in their mid twenties

Taylor: 00:01:14

to be diagnosed with type two diabetes.

Taylor: 00:01:17

Normally you hear a diagnosis happening.

Taylor: 00:01:21

in your like forties and fifties and things like that.

Taylor: 00:01:24

So it was pretty, I don't wanna say shocking because I

Taylor: 00:01:31

have a family history of it.

Taylor: 00:01:32

Both of my parents have it.

Taylor: 00:01:34

And I have grandparents that have had it.

Taylor: 00:01:36

So it was something that I was actually trying to get ahead of.

Taylor: 00:01:42

, I didn't get ahead of it in a way that was healthy or safe . So I ended

Taylor: 00:01:48

up right where I didn't wanna be.

Taylor: 00:01:50

But that's okay because I've learned a lot and I'm doing a lot better.

Taylor: 00:01:54

That's the name healing.

Taylor: 00:01:55

In hindsight, I'm learning from not only my past mistakes, but

Taylor: 00:01:58

from the journeys of others.

Taylor: 00:02:00

So I went the podcast route because I listened to them all the time

Taylor: 00:02:07

and blogging and writing for me.

Taylor: 00:02:12

something that I enjoy doing, but it's hard when it feels forced.

Taylor: 00:02:15

And I didn't know how to do it from a perspective where I

Taylor: 00:02:19

don't have a medical background

Taylor: 00:02:21

And so I had a really hard time writing because I didn't wanna

Taylor: 00:02:24

do, here's how I reversed it.

Taylor: 00:02:27

Cuz I didn't or five tips to lower your blood sugar, which at the

Taylor: 00:02:32

time blogging was the big thing.

Taylor: 00:02:33

And that's the type of stuff that people were doing.

Taylor: 00:02:36

and it just didn't feel right because I had no insight to that.

Taylor: 00:02:39

I had no information.

Taylor: 00:02:40

I was literally working through it every day, and I was afraid to share that I

Taylor: 00:02:46

had no idea what I was doing, and I was struggling, and I was not able to get to

Taylor: 00:02:51

a place where I could like confidently tell people, Hey, this is what I did.

Taylor: 00:02:56

This is what works.

Taylor: 00:02:57

So after getting laid off and after like really sitting with

Taylor: 00:03:02

it, I'm like, duh, Taylor.

Taylor: 00:03:05

Do a podcast.

Taylor: 00:03:06

So that's kind of the introductory of how it all got started.

Taylor: 00:03:10

Again, fast forward two years, here we are five seasons, and it's been

Taylor: 00:03:16

a huge learning experience for me and not only from, the creator.

Taylor: 00:03:23

Blow up kind of things, but just as someone living through this in

Taylor: 00:03:27

a modern time where there's so much information, there's so many options

Taylor: 00:03:31

and so many different ways that you can put your management and treatment

Taylor: 00:03:35

plan together, that I just decided that I wanted to focus the lens of

Taylor: 00:03:42

this brand to living diabetes, your.

Taylor: 00:03:48

That's really what it all boils down to because there is so much out there, and

Taylor: 00:03:53

what I want to hopefully leave my mark on in the world is that no person diagnosed

Taylor: 00:03:58

with anything, in my opinion, should be treated like the person before it.

Taylor: 00:04:05

There's, I shouldn't be getting cookie cutter management.

Taylor: 00:04:08

It's not to say that there won't be common themes, but I think something

Taylor: 00:04:12

that hit me really hard is that, like I said, both my parents also.

Taylor: 00:04:17

Type two diabetes.

Taylor: 00:04:19

None of us are on the same medication, like none of us.

Taylor: 00:04:24

And I think that's fascinating and also a huge big sign that we shouldn't

Taylor: 00:04:32

be putting people in these boxes of treatment plans and expecting that

Taylor: 00:04:37

they're all gonna have the same result.

Taylor: 00:04:40

So that's where the.

Taylor: 00:04:43

and theme of a lot of things is gonna be because it is really frustrating

Taylor: 00:04:47

when you get a lot of unhelpful information, , and it's telling you to

Taylor: 00:04:52

do something that somebody else did, and you don't live the same life, you

Taylor: 00:04:56

don't eat the same things, you don't have the same environments, all of that.

Taylor: 00:05:01

So this is more so about being able to really tailor.

Taylor: 00:05:09

How you are managing your diabetes to yourself and how you are able

Taylor: 00:05:15

to find a path and a way to do all of this that feels right for you.

Taylor: 00:05:23

And I feel like that's not something that is at the forefront of a lot

Taylor: 00:05:28

of diabetes treatment management.

Taylor: 00:05:30

Things like that.

Taylor: 00:05:31

It's getting better.

Taylor: 00:05:32

I will say being in the community, in the space, there are a lot more people

Taylor: 00:05:35

who feel that way, but there's also a lot of predatory stuff out there too that

Taylor: 00:05:42

is trying to guide people to invest in things that may not fit their actual life.

Taylor: 00:05:47

So mini rant over.

Taylor: 00:05:50

A couple of housekeeping rules, if you will, as we go down this

Taylor: 00:05:55

journey of doing a live show.

Taylor: 00:05:58

we're gonna be here every Monday morning, and I promise next week

Taylor: 00:06:02

will be a lot more structured.

Taylor: 00:06:04

I just wanted to keep today super laid back.

Taylor: 00:06:06

If you want to participate in the show, so if you're listening

Taylor: 00:06:08

back to this and you're like, oh, I can participate, yes you can.

Taylor: 00:06:12

We are gonna be live on YouTube every Monday, 10:00 AM central time,

Taylor: 00:06:16

and all you have to do is subscribe to the channel and you can engage

Taylor: 00:06:21

and chat and ask questions and all.

Taylor: 00:06:24

I will take pauses throughout to answer any questions but the show will be

Taylor: 00:06:29

segmented just to ensure that like I'm sharing what I want you to hear

Taylor: 00:06:33

from me, and then there's time to respond to any comments or questions.

Taylor: 00:06:37

But this is just as much for you as it is for me.

Taylor: 00:06:40

So please feel free to interact with each other and, ask questions

Taylor: 00:06:44

and share what's worked for.

Taylor: 00:06:48

please do not provide any advice to anybody.

Taylor: 00:06:50

I am not a medical professional, so let me say this at the top.

Taylor: 00:06:53

This is just for general information entertainment and kind of a behind

Taylor: 00:06:59

the scenes to what I'm doing.

Taylor: 00:07:00

So I am not a medical professional, so if there's anything that I share

Taylor: 00:07:03

or that someone shares as we are going through this please speak with

Taylor: 00:07:07

your medical team first before you implement anything to ensure that

Taylor: 00:07:11

it is going to be the right fit for.

Taylor: 00:07:13

I ain't trying to get studio, . So yeah, ask questions.

Taylor: 00:07:17

I ask that, put a, a, you know, a big capital queue or an all

Taylor: 00:07:23

caps question and then your question as you're going through.

Taylor: 00:07:27

So that way I can spot it easily and can make sure that I can save

Taylor: 00:07:30

it and respond to you for it.

Taylor: 00:07:33

Okay.

Taylor: 00:07:35

, the whole title of this is, here's why I left.

Taylor: 00:07:38

And I have been struggling honestly to talk about this because

Taylor: 00:07:49

it's, It's a lot.

Taylor: 00:07:51

And looking back, I feel like.

Taylor: 00:07:57

, I recognize that there was a lot that I could have done.

Taylor: 00:07:59

Obviously it happened and in some ways I feel like it needed to happen

Taylor: 00:08:04

in order for me to recognize that.

Taylor: 00:08:06

So it, it is hard for me to talk about and I'm gonna try my best to stay focused

Taylor: 00:08:12

and not get too emotional about it.

Taylor: 00:08:14

I was pretty much overwhelmed.

Taylor: 00:08:20

a lot of things.

Taylor: 00:08:21

So the last episode that posted was in April of this year, and it was right

Taylor: 00:08:30

in the middle of season five . And I was in partnership both as a,

Taylor: 00:08:39

separate branded entity, but also as an employee with a past sponsor and.

Taylor: 00:08:46

, it was decided that relationship should close, and so it came outta left field.

Taylor: 00:08:53

I was not prepared at all.

Taylor: 00:08:56

I was actually in the process of rebuilding my safety net in terms of

Taylor: 00:09:01

finances because I had been working for myself for like almost a year

Taylor: 00:09:06

at that point when I decided to sign on back to working for somebody.

Taylor: 00:09:12

. I only chose it because it seemed to be a mutually beneficial fit, and I

Taylor: 00:09:16

had made that clear and I did not want what I had built here to fall behind.

Taylor: 00:09:26

And so looking back, there was a small window of opportunity for me

Taylor: 00:09:31

to take on a little bit less work, but I threw myself into it because

Taylor: 00:09:36

I was really excited about it.

Taylor: 00:09:37

And I thought that by going.

Taylor: 00:09:42

Full-time, it would bring me a lot closer to, everybody in the community

Taylor: 00:09:47

and I could provide a lot more value if it had my full attention.

Taylor: 00:09:52

So when that ended, there were a lot of things that was going

Taylor: 00:09:58

on that I just wasn't prepared to have to shift and pivot for.

Taylor: 00:10:04

So I spent January just grieving.

Taylor: 00:10:07

A bit grieving a setup that I thought was really going to grow.

Taylor: 00:10:14

It was gonna help me grow in ways that I couldn't do it by myself.

Taylor: 00:10:19

And so I feel like looking back now, the reason why that happened is because the

Taylor: 00:10:26

way that I went into it was not the ideal.

Taylor: 00:10:29

Setup that I needed.

Taylor: 00:10:30

Again, I had a small one of opportunity to take a slightly different path,

Taylor: 00:10:35

but that's okay because I feel like it ended because it was not truly the

Taylor: 00:10:41

match that I needed, and that's okay.

Taylor: 00:10:43

It still rattled me to a point that I felt I.

Taylor: 00:10:55

Is what I'm doing actually worth it.

Taylor: 00:10:58

And I threw myself back into the show and did a lot of great recordings

Taylor: 00:11:03

with people, did a lot of cool stuff.

Taylor: 00:11:06

And the season started and it was going and it was chugging along.

Taylor: 00:11:12

And then I got to April where a friend of mine, a really close friend of

Taylor: 00:11:20

mine, who also was a past on the show.

Taylor: 00:11:24

she was getting married and I had the honor and privilege to be a

Taylor: 00:11:27

bridesmaid, and it was in Hawaii, right?

Taylor: 00:11:32

It's Hawaii.

Taylor: 00:11:32

So my partner and I decided to make the weekend for the wedding,

Taylor: 00:11:37

a full week long vacation as well.

Taylor: 00:11:41

It was a great time, but things started creeping up on me while we

Taylor: 00:11:46

were there that I did not realize.

Taylor: 00:11:51

what's happening?

Taylor: 00:11:53

We get back from Hawaii and it was like my entire financial setup just completely

Taylor: 00:12:00

crashed and I was about this close.

Taylor: 00:12:04

I was about super, super close to not saying anything to anybody , to

Taylor: 00:12:09

completely suffering in silence and.

Taylor: 00:12:13

To potentially honestly lose everything that's the part that when I look

Taylor: 00:12:17

back, I'm like, I could have lost a lot had I not said something.

Taylor: 00:12:22

I had almost paid my car off.

Taylor: 00:12:24

I had been doing really well about adjusting my finances to make sure I was

Taylor: 00:12:31

taking care of at least two months ahead.

Taylor: 00:12:35

Was completely burnt through, and I found myself crying to my partner, freaking

Taylor: 00:12:42

out because I'm like, I don't know how I'm gonna pay my bills next month.

Taylor: 00:12:46

How did I get here?

Taylor: 00:12:47

I had paid sponsorships.

Taylor: 00:12:50

I had a full-time job at one point.

Taylor: 00:12:52

I'm like, how did my setup get me to this point where I don't know how I'm going?

Taylor: 00:13:03

pay my bills next month.

Taylor: 00:13:05

And so it just tipped me off into kind of a spiral of things because

Taylor: 00:13:09

I had to start cutting things out.

Taylor: 00:13:11

I had to start, thinking through how much of my business can I keep afloat?

Taylor: 00:13:16

What do I have to let go?

Taylor: 00:13:18

All of that.

Taylor: 00:13:20

And so I fell into a really rough depression and.

Taylor: 00:13:27

. That last episode that aired in April for season five was a it posted while

Taylor: 00:13:35

we were in Hawaii, but ever since then, I just could not get myself

Taylor: 00:13:43

back on track, and I found myself,

Taylor: 00:13:51

I started to hate this.

Taylor: 00:13:54

I started to hate the.

Taylor: 00:13:56

I started to hate having to figure out what guests I was gonna have.

Taylor: 00:13:59

I started to hate even my messaging.

Taylor: 00:14:02

I just did not find any joy, or love or hope in what I had.

Taylor: 00:14:13

And so I just crumbled and it started out.

Taylor: 00:14:19

Okay, I'll just skip a recording this day.

Taylor: 00:14:20

If I'm not fully in it, if I don't have the energy, if I don't really

Taylor: 00:14:23

wanna do it, should I present myself when I know that I feel that way?

Taylor: 00:14:29

Especially cuz I was still, recording video, so I didn't

Taylor: 00:14:33

want anybody to look at the video version of the episode and emulate.

Taylor: 00:14:39

She doesn't look like she's into it.

Taylor: 00:14:42

You can just tell sometimes.

Taylor: 00:14:44

Some people are really great actors, but sometimes you can tell

Taylor: 00:14:48

man, there's just no life there.

Taylor: 00:14:50

So I was truly of the mindset that if I'm not in the mood

Taylor: 00:14:53

to do it, that I shouldn't.

Taylor: 00:14:57

My tune's a little bit different now about that just because there

Taylor: 00:15:01

are some moments where pushing through actually energizes me.

Taylor: 00:15:06

And it's just me overcoming, the battles in my head about it.

Taylor: 00:15:11

, but at the time I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

Taylor: 00:15:14

So I'm like, I'm not feeling good.

Taylor: 00:15:17

Don't wanna put that energy out there.

Taylor: 00:15:18

We'll try it the next day.

Taylor: 00:15:21

And that excuse just became the same thing the next day and the next day

Taylor: 00:15:26

and the next day, and the next day.

Taylor: 00:15:29

And then I just stopped communicating with.

Taylor: 00:15:33

People in, the diabetes community mentors, people that have

Taylor: 00:15:39

always really supported me.

Taylor: 00:15:41

I just stopped communicating and I had gotten to a point

Taylor: 00:15:48

where my days looked like,

Taylor: 00:15:53

Waking up.

Taylor: 00:15:57

Scrolling through my phone and literally staying in bed all day and

Taylor: 00:16:04

I had stopped taking on my medication.

Taylor: 00:16:08

I wasn't wearing a C G M anymore.

Taylor: 00:16:10

I wasn't checking, even with my manual meter.

Taylor: 00:16:13

I just stopped and it was, it's a little scary to think about

Taylor: 00:16:21

now of . I don't know where I was at during those periods at all.

Taylor: 00:16:26

I don't know if I was actually en range or if I was off the charts.

Taylor: 00:16:32

I don't know anything.

Taylor: 00:16:34

I had doctor's appointments that I either canceled or nohow to, and I just could

Taylor: 00:16:43

not bring myself to just leave the.

Taylor: 00:16:46

, my, my poor dogs.

Taylor: 00:16:47

Even that was a struggle.

Taylor: 00:16:48

Like even just taking them out was a struggle.

Taylor: 00:16:51

I live on the third floor of an apartment, so I hate stairs, , and it's just tough

Taylor: 00:17:00

when you have two dogs and one, one that's particularly very active and

Taylor: 00:17:04

she wants to dang near pull you down the stairs and drag you everywhere.

Taylor: 00:17:08

And she prefers to be off leash.

Taylor: 00:17:11

we're in apartment complex, so letting her run off leash is a big no-no.

Taylor: 00:17:15

So I was just struggling, y'all.

Taylor: 00:17:18

I was so tired and I was frustrated and sad because I could not figure out

Taylor: 00:17:31

why I didn't wanna do this anymore.

Taylor: 00:17:33

I just didn't wanna do it anymore.

Taylor: 00:17:37

And At first I was trying to determine if I if there were signs of burnout

Taylor: 00:17:43

before I fell into this, depression.

Taylor: 00:17:48

And it's yes but no, because the way that I function is instead of taking

Taylor: 00:18:00

breaks, I work harder, so I bury myself in everything until it breaks.

Taylor: 00:18:09

And that's what happened is I literally ran myself into the ground trying to

Taylor: 00:18:14

keep up with everything, trying to keep myself busy, distracting myself

Taylor: 00:18:19

so I didn't have to acknowledge just how sad and frustrated I was.

Taylor: 00:18:24

And it was just this huge domino effect of.

Taylor: 00:18:31

things falling apart.

Taylor: 00:18:33

No motivation.

Taylor: 00:18:35

Having to completely tear everything down and build it back up.

Taylor: 00:18:41

And so there was honestly a point in time where I was just like, you know what?

Taylor: 00:18:47

Nobody even noticed.

Taylor: 00:18:49

So I just won't, I just won't create anything anymore.

Taylor: 00:18:53

I won't do much else for this.

Taylor: 00:18:58

The account will sit, everything will sit, and it'll be fine.

Taylor: 00:19:02

It's fine.

Taylor: 00:19:02

It'll just sit there.

Taylor: 00:19:03

I'll just, slowly fade into the background.

Taylor: 00:19:06

And it makes me think of that, that gift of Homer, like just slowly

Taylor: 00:19:11

disappearing into the bushes.

Taylor: 00:19:13

, like that was me.

Taylor: 00:19:16

So I thought I was honestly done.

Taylor: 00:19:18

I thought that at that point, I am no longer going to be doing the show.

Taylor: 00:19:23

I'm no longer going to be putting any effort towards,

Taylor: 00:19:27

this brand that I have built.

Taylor: 00:19:29

And

Taylor: 00:19:33

the strangest thing brought me out of it, and

Taylor: 00:19:43

I don't know.

Taylor: 00:19:47

It's a combination of things that, that brought me out of it.

Taylor: 00:19:52

One, I finally just broke down to my partner , and we got in a bit of

Taylor: 00:19:59

an argument because my attitude and the way that I was doing things was

Taylor: 00:20:03

just like, I was very snappy and all these things, and I was tr I, I

Taylor: 00:20:08

was trying to actually ask him for.

Taylor: 00:20:11

I didn't know what I need help, but I was just like, I need

Taylor: 00:20:12

something, I need something.

Taylor: 00:20:13

Cuz I was just getting to a point where I'm like, this is bad.

Taylor: 00:20:18

Like where I'm at, how I'm doing, how I'm feeling is so bad right now and I

Taylor: 00:20:24

can't sit here and pretend like I don't need someone else to intervene for

Taylor: 00:20:28

me because of the situation with you.

Taylor: 00:20:33

Losing my job back in January and having this big financial hit.

Taylor: 00:20:39

Over the next six months, I did decide to go back to work.

Taylor: 00:20:43

I had taken that time when I was like really working on season five

Taylor: 00:20:47

to okay, I've got a nest egg to, to keep me through and to keep me afloat.

Taylor: 00:20:54

And I thought that I was going to be able.

Taylor: 00:20:58

Get to a good point by the time that it ran out that I already had more money

Taylor: 00:21:02

coming in that I would work it out and I can just stay working for myself because

Taylor: 00:21:07

clearly that's where I need to be.

Taylor: 00:21:09

When that didn't work out, I started jaw hunting again and I was like,

Taylor: 00:21:13

maybe I'll find something part-time.

Taylor: 00:21:15

I need to find something that flows.

Taylor: 00:21:18

what I want and can provide me skills and things that will be beneficial to me.

Taylor: 00:21:23

And I did end up finding a job that is not stressful at all.

Taylor: 00:21:30

It really is a great place.

Taylor: 00:21:32

I've even started doing content creation work with them and

Taylor: 00:21:37

it's really exciting cuz it.

Taylor: 00:21:39

A breath of fresh air to do something different, but it also

Taylor: 00:21:41

provides me resources and knowledge that I can apply to my own setup.

Taylor: 00:21:47

It's part of the reason why I'm even doing this live episode right now,

Taylor: 00:21:51

because I do it with them all the time and I'm really grateful to my team

Taylor: 00:21:55

there and everything else like that.

Taylor: 00:21:59

But in the midst of this, as I'm starting this new job and I'm taking

Taylor: 00:22:02

it real slow with people, like I'm not, immediately trying to.

Taylor: 00:22:07

Get too involved in the extracurriculars, because I recognize I got two jobs,

Taylor: 00:22:14

, technically three, I have my eight to four work and then I got my four

Taylor: 00:22:21

to 10 work , and I wanted to ensure that I didn't allow, Having a job,

Taylor: 00:22:26

again, completely consume me and distract me from continuing to build.

Taylor: 00:22:32

I didn't know what I wanted to build because I have this brand and

Taylor: 00:22:37

then I have like my personal brand and I do have a gaming channel,

Taylor: 00:22:40

but that's more for fun, honestly.

Taylor: 00:22:43

I've been really trying to separate myself of I want gaming to be my thing.

Taylor: 00:22:47

No, it's just for fun and if I get something out of it, great.

Taylor: 00:22:52

But I really started to ask myself who am I outside of healing in hindsight?

Taylor: 00:22:55

Who?

Taylor: 00:22:56

Who?

Taylor: 00:22:57

What do I stand for?

Taylor: 00:22:58

What do I represent?

Taylor: 00:23:00

What do I wanna build?

Taylor: 00:23:03

And every time that I tried to figure that out, it came back up.

Taylor: 00:23:12

It came back up.

Taylor: 00:23:14

And even though there are still other endeavors that I

Taylor: 00:23:17

wanna do that doesn't surround.

Taylor: 00:23:20

Life with diabetes because I felt like all of my content had to be

Taylor: 00:23:26

with the focus a hundred percent on diabetes and not be able to touch

Taylor: 00:23:31

on like diabetes adjacent things.

Taylor: 00:23:36

And I recognize that everything that I do for the most part impacts my.

Taylor: 00:23:44

and diabetes is a part of my health, right?

Taylor: 00:23:47

So if I'm going through relationship stuff, it impacts me.

Taylor: 00:23:53

If I'm going through a really stressful time, it impacts me.

Taylor: 00:23:56

If I'm going through a really good time, it impacts me.

Taylor: 00:23:58

If I wanna travel, if I want to try new things.

Taylor: 00:24:02

All of that, in some ways impacts me and my life with diabetes.

Taylor: 00:24:09

But I don't have to make it the center of my.

Taylor: 00:24:13

and a lot of the things that I want to talk about moving forward I feel can

Taylor: 00:24:17

be applicable to anybody, diabetes or not, but it's just through the lens

Taylor: 00:24:22

of this extra layer or something that I have to keep in mind, and that even

Taylor: 00:24:31

though I'm keeping that at mind, it doesn't take away from my humanity.

Taylor: 00:24:36

And I felt like the content that I was creating before.

Taylor: 00:24:40

Although I don't regret any of it I just didn't feel 100% connected to it.

Taylor: 00:24:44

I didn't feel like it was providing something that I felt confident in.

Taylor: 00:24:51

And I know so many great people who have, who do have medical backgrounds

Taylor: 00:24:58

and the knowledge and the training.

Taylor: 00:25:00

To share, 10 tips to lower your blood sugar and stuff like that.

Taylor: 00:25:03

That's not my lane, and once I realize that isn't my lane, that's okay.

Taylor: 00:25:09

, that is so okay.

Taylor: 00:25:10

And I don't have to follow that route, just because I'm trying to

Taylor: 00:25:17

meet the algorithm or create content.

Taylor: 00:25:21

Is, clickable or what I don't wanna do any of that.

Taylor: 00:25:24

And it's hard because it's yes there's marketing and strategy that should go into

Taylor: 00:25:29

it to ensure that your message is heard.

Taylor: 00:25:31

But I don't wanna focus so hard on that.

Taylor: 00:25:36

I do wanna do some things and I do wanna be more present and

Taylor: 00:25:39

consistent in sharing myself and the things that I'm experiencing.

Taylor: 00:25:46

, but do we really need another podcast talking about five

Taylor: 00:25:49

ways to lower your blood sugar?

Taylor: 00:25:52

No I think I would rather uplift a lot of great friends in the space who can

Taylor: 00:25:59

share that and provide that than that be the focus of what I'm doing here.

Taylor: 00:26:04

So I updated the tagline from your no be source for Thriving with diabetes.

Taylor: 00:26:14

your life with diabetes your way, and I did that because that was the

Taylor: 00:26:19

core of what I felt and why I decided that this was going to be a lifestyle

Taylor: 00:26:25

brand and why I decided that this was something that needed to be in the space.

Taylor: 00:26:35

and maybe it is, I'm like a directory of like, how do you accomplish this,

Taylor: 00:26:38

these things, and then it's hey, this person will do it and this

Taylor: 00:26:41

person, can help you understand that.

Taylor: 00:26:43

Because I feel like what I can speak to confidently on is being

Taylor: 00:26:52

able to choose how you want your life living with diabetes to go.

Taylor: 00:27:02

I decided that I could either stop doing everything like I did and just

Taylor: 00:27:08

slowly faded to the background and suffer the consequences of not keeping

Taylor: 00:27:11

track of it, or I could actively choose how I wanted my life with this to go.

Taylor: 00:27:22

And even though that may mean that I have to be on medication for the rest of my.

Taylor: 00:27:31

I have a pretty good setup now, and if my body is healthy,

Taylor: 00:27:36

then that's all that matters.

Taylor: 00:27:39

And so after I broke down to my partner and to my therapist of I've been

Taylor: 00:27:49

suffering in silence because I just have no energy to wanna do anything anymore.

Taylor: 00:27:56

. It was so relieving just to say it all out loud of I'm tired and I'm

Taylor: 00:28:06

tired of trying to do everything myself, just to keep myself together,

Taylor: 00:28:16

but I don't know who to reach out to or to talk to or what to talk.

Taylor: 00:28:22

with all of this.

Taylor: 00:28:25

And so I just started with responding to some people that have been like

Taylor: 00:28:31

reaching out to me and emailing me and like checking on me.

Taylor: 00:28:35

And I was just honest.

Taylor: 00:28:38

I was like, I've just been stuck.

Taylor: 00:28:39

I don't know what to do and I'm tired and I don't wanna do anything and I

Taylor: 00:28:43

just wanna sit here in my house and let the world pass me by right now.

Taylor: 00:28:48

And I'm thinking that I'm gonna.

Taylor: 00:28:52

A bunch of advice and a bunch of, here's what you can do to do that.

Taylor: 00:28:56

Cuz sometimes we feel like we wanna reach out for help.

Taylor: 00:28:59

We don't actually want anybody to problem solve.

Taylor: 00:29:04

And I'm a problem solver.

Taylor: 00:29:05

I do this myself and I have to actively catch myself whenever my friends

Taylor: 00:29:09

wanna vent or just share how they're feeling, that they're not looking for an

Taylor: 00:29:15

immediate answer or for, Tools to fix it.

Taylor: 00:29:19

So I have to say, okay, are you wanting any suggestions or support

Taylor: 00:29:30

and ways to work through that?

Taylor: 00:29:33

And that was something that I needed to.

Taylor: 00:29:37

Recognize and or be proactive about telling people.

Taylor: 00:29:40

But in, in that moment I didn't have to say anything because everybody

Taylor: 00:29:44

that responded to me was like, yo, I get it, and it's okay that you

Taylor: 00:29:51

don't feel great about any of this.

Taylor: 00:29:53

It's totally okay.

Taylor: 00:29:54

There's nothing wrong with you, and there's nothing wrong with taking

Taylor: 00:30:01

a break that you absolutely need.

Taylor: 00:30:04

and slowly building yourself back up.

Taylor: 00:30:08

And so that's what I've been doing for the past few months, is tearing

Taylor: 00:30:14

everything that I built apart in a way and just slowly building it back

Taylor: 00:30:19

up because I do believe in this and I do want this to be successful, but.

Taylor: 00:30:29

, I needed to flow in a way that is healthy for me and the way that I was

Taylor: 00:30:35

going about it, at least within the past year, it was just not healthy for me.

Taylor: 00:30:42

So what does all of this mean?

Taylor: 00:30:44

In terms of moving forward and what's gonna happen next and all of that.

Taylor: 00:30:51

As you can see, we're gonna be doing these episodes.

Taylor: 00:30:54

I have a whole actual separate space that, we'll be going live from to

Taylor: 00:30:59

create this kind of just chilling on the couch, chit-chatting.

Taylor: 00:31:02

That's what I really wanted this pod to be, is I want it to feel like we're just

Taylor: 00:31:07

two friends hanging out, shooting the shit, talking about what's going right,

Taylor: 00:31:11

what's going wrong, and our thoughts about how we can move forward on it.

Taylor: 00:31:17

So every Monday morning, that's what we're gonna do.

Taylor: 00:31:21

It's like a coffee date with a friend, right?

Taylor: 00:31:23

Or tea, whatever your preference.

Taylor: 00:31:27

And all of the, at least solo episodes for now will be recorded live.

Taylor: 00:31:33

There are guests that were slotted for season five.

Taylor: 00:31:39

That you guys haven't heard . And I'm working to get those episodes

Taylor: 00:31:46

edited both audio and video, and to get them uploaded and posted for

Taylor: 00:31:53

you I'm no longer doing seasons.

Taylor: 00:31:55

I liked seasons for a way to like building breaks for.

Taylor: 00:32:02

But I realized that I was not flowing with seasons in the right way to where

Taylor: 00:32:09

I could truly actually take a break.

Taylor: 00:32:14

And so this feels a lot better.

Taylor: 00:32:18

This feels a lot more constructive to not only be.

Taylor: 00:32:25

, but to be able to connect with you and to be able to talk through things in real

Taylor: 00:32:29

time and to get things going to where like it's a part of my regular routine.

Taylor: 00:32:35

But if I do take a break, you won't necessarily know that I am.

Taylor: 00:32:39

But all the recordings afterwards will be my actual planned

Taylor: 00:32:44

episodes and stuff like that.

Taylor: 00:32:46

We'll still be going live, but I think just.

Taylor: 00:32:50

My sanity honestly.

Taylor: 00:32:52

And for the people that I work with to help make the show happen this feels a lot

Taylor: 00:32:57

better of let's just get the lives going.

Taylor: 00:33:00

Let's just start doing it and then we can start back posting everything and

Taylor: 00:33:06

making it nice, neat, into a be my website is actually getting some work done.

Taylor: 00:33:11

It's getting a little facelift.

Taylor: 00:33:13

So the full video version of the episodes will be going on to the website.

Taylor: 00:33:21

YouTube will get the snippet version.

Taylor: 00:33:23

So again, if you're listening back to this and you wanna participate in the live

Taylor: 00:33:28

recordings of this, There is a link that I will include to where you can actually

Taylor: 00:33:35

sign up and be able to get notifications for every time that the live is happening.

Taylor: 00:33:41

Also, make sure that it's posted on my Instagram bio.

Taylor: 00:33:47

Yes, it is.

Taylor: 00:33:48

It's posted on my Instagram bio so you can have head over to my, I.

Taylor: 00:33:52

Click the link there and you can sign up to be notified whenever.

Taylor: 00:33:56

I'm going lap on Mondays.

Taylor: 00:33:57

All of the raw recorded videos are going completely unlisted

Taylor: 00:34:01

so you can't access it.

Taylor: 00:34:02

So if you wanna catch it live and you wanna participate, definitely

Taylor: 00:34:05

make sure that you sign up to be notified whenever we do.

Taylor: 00:34:10

And I'm trying to think if there's anything else that I'm missing.

Taylor: 00:34:15

. I think that's it.

Taylor: 00:34:16

I Mayor I'm toying with the idea of also going live on Facebook.

Taylor: 00:34:20

Me and Facebook have a love-hate relationship, so we'll see.

Taylor: 00:34:22

I do YouTube.

Taylor: 00:34:23

But I'm back.

Taylor: 00:34:24

I'm here.

Taylor: 00:34:25

I am recovering . I'm in a much healthier space.

Taylor: 00:34:32

I'm in a much better flow.

Taylor: 00:34:35

There's still some kinks that I'm working through.

Taylor: 00:34:39

, I feel really good about where all of this is going and how all of this

Taylor: 00:34:43

is gonna flow, and so I'm really excited to do a live element and

Taylor: 00:34:48

have a bit more structure and a bit more interactiveness with all of you.

Taylor: 00:34:53

So with that being said, I am going to take us out from here.

Taylor: 00:35:04

Again, if you're listening back, be sure to look into the show notes for

Taylor: 00:35:07

the link to be notified every time I go live on Mondays and any other

Taylor: 00:35:12

updates that I have for you guys, and I will catch you guys on the next one.

Taylor: 00:35:17

Thank you so much for being here, and I'll see you next Monday.