Melissa Lagowski, founder of Big Buzz Idea Group, shares her passion for helping people embrace their voices as leaders, regardless of their role. She believes that when we speak up with intention, we foster stronger, more inclusive teams and organizations. Melissa encourages a mindset of curiosity and reflection, showing how thoughtful dialogue and intentional actions can lead to meaningful impact.

In our conversation, Melissa offers strategies for creating spaces where ideas can flourish and diverse perspectives are valued. She highlights the importance of building trust, preparing thoughtfully, and approaching discussions with care. Her insights remind us that leadership begins with small, consistent steps toward advocating for ourselves and others.

Highlights

1.    The Power of Curiosity: Discover how asking thoughtful, open-ended questions fosters deeper conversations and builds understanding.

2.    Timing Matters: Learn when and how to address sensitive topics for the greatest impact.

3.    Building Relationships: Find out how fostering genuine connections strengthens teams and creates trust.

4.    Reflect and Prepare: Explore how self-reflection and preparation can help you express your voice with confidence.

5.    Create Psychological Safety: Understand how to cultivate an environment where diverse perspectives are welcomed and valued.

Resources Mentioned

The Inspire Your Team to Greatness Assessment (the Courage Assessment)

How can you inspire our team to be more proactive, take ownership and get more done?

You demonstrate and empower The Courage of a Leader. In my nearly 3 decades of work with leaders, I’ve discovered the 11 things that leaders do – even very well-intentioned leaders do – that kill productivity.

In less than 10 minutes, find out where you’re empowering and inadvertently kills productivity, and get a custom report that will tell you step by step what you need to have your team get more done.

https://courageofaleader.com/inspireyourteam/

About the Guest:

Melissa Lagowski created Big Buzz Idea Group as a boutique agency to provide management, marketing and event services to nonprofits and associations. She launched the company in November 2004 so nonprofits would have an honest outsourcing partner. Melissa provides full operational support or a la carte services that will allow charitable organizations to run more effectively.

With 34 years of corporate and nonprofit experience, Melissa has consulted national organizations, managed local chapters, provided virtual office assistance to numerous NPOs, launched and executed large fundraisers, conceived innovative and lucrative new programming, coordinated client conferences, workshops dinners, and awards functions.

She manages consulting platforms, mastermind groups and virtual roundtables to assist nonprofits to become self-sufficient and proficient in management.

Her largest project to date is Ribfest Chicago, where she is responsible for every facet of the event including festival promotion, sponsorship development, entertainment booking and vendor procurement and management. The event now draws 70,000 people annually and was featured on Food Network’s “Eating America” with Anthony Anderson (2014).

Melissa is a member and Executive Director of the National Association of Women Business Owners (NAWBO) Chicago Area Chapter.

https://bigbuzzideagroup.com/

About the Host:

Amy L. Riley is an internationally renowned speaker, author and consultant. She has over 2 decades of experience developing leaders at all levels. Her clients include Cisco Systems, Deloitte and Barclays. 

As a trusted leadership coach and consultant, Amy has worked with hundreds of leaders one-on-one, and thousands more as part of a group, to fully step into their leadership, create amazing teams and achieve extraordinary results. 

Amy’s most popular keynote speeches are:

·     The Courage of a Leader: The Power of a Leadership Legacy

·     The Courage of a Leader: Create a Competitive Advantage with Sustainable, Results-Producing Cross-System Collaboration

·     The Courage of a Leader: Accelerate Trust with Your Team, Customers and Community

·     The Courage of a Leader: How to Build a Happy and Successful Hybrid Team

Her new book is a #1 international best-seller and is entitled, The Courage of a Leader: How to Inspire, Engage and Get Extraordinary Results.

http://www.courageofaleader.com

https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyshoopriley

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Teaser for Next Episode

Join us next time with Russell Harvey who shares how resilience is about springing forward with learning, using strengths, building support, and leading with purpose.

Mentioned in this episode:

The Inspire Your Team to Greatness assessment (The Courage Assessment)

https://courageofaleader.com/inspireyourteam/

As a leader, how do you ensure every member of your team knows that they have a voice and no matter what position you hold, how do you speak up and share your voice? Melissa Lagowski of Big Buzz Idea Group is my guest today, and she tells us how to stand up for our ideas and perspectives, how to encourage others to do so and why this is so important.

Welcome to the Courage of a Leader podcast. This is where you hear real life stories of top leaders achieving extraordinary results, and you get practical advice and techniques you can immediately apply for your own success. This is where you will get inspired and take bold, courageous action. I'm so glad you can join us. I'm your host. Amy Riley, now are you ready to step into the full power of your leadership and achieve the results you care about most? Let's ignite the Courage of a Leader.

Melissa Lagowski, thank you for being with me today on the Courage of a Leader podcast.

Thank you so much. Amy, for the opportunity. I'm excited to be here.

Yes, I'm excited for the conversation that we're going to have. Melissa, I know that you believe that everyone in an organization is a leader and has a voice and can stand up for themselves or for what they believe in. How did you come to this belief?

You know, I think I've always just naturally been a leader, and so it came kind of easily for me, but I remember, it was during the pandemic, and there was a moment in time where I saw posted in a Facebook group that I was part of, that there had just been an awful incident in line at a Starbucks where a child had actually been called out in a racist way, and the mother was very upset. Didn't exactly know what to do with that. And it made me start to think, right, we have to make little changes along the way. If all of us are actually really showing up in our day to day to defend what we love, to protect who we love, to be able to share what our thoughts are, that it really matters. And so I thought about it kind of within our company, that I want every member of my team to always feel like they have a voice, that they have the ability to ask questions, they have the ability to bring their thoughts and ideas. Because when we share, it also elevates everything. It elevates the experience for our clients. It elevates for our employees, it elevates for the whole company. And so I think some people think, Oh, I'm not a leader, and they want to kind of shirk into the shadows. But whether you're in line at a grocery store or right, I think about even how time over these last five years seem to have really advanced a lot in the awareness space. And so I think sometimes, right I used to laugh at jokes that maybe really weren't that funny in my mind, but because we would just laugh, those things continue. And so the ability for us to just say, like, I'm sorry, but I don't think that's funny, that starts to impact how the teller receives it, and even if you don't change their mind, the hope right, that you make them think a little bit more before maybe they say something that you know, did it really need to be said? Yes, all

of these you say little opportunities, but they can have big impact, and certainly over time, to raise awareness, to give exposure to another perspective, right? To get that feedback, I said something in a Starbucks line, and somebody had a reaction I didn't maybe expect to that. Hmm, that's some feedback for me, right? And we talk so much about the importance of having diversity, yet, if we are not pulling out and allowing for because sometimes we don't know to prompt the question, someone's having a thought over there, we don't see it. It's invisible to us, but we've created that environment where that person can speak up and say something,

yes, I love it too. Like my daughter has organically, just really applied that, and I think it's a beautiful thing. You know, she's now a senior in high school, and every single parent teacher conference we have, your daughter really knows how to add. Hate for herself, and I'm like, what a beautiful thing, right? Because it took me a lot of years to figure it out, and it feels good to finally be there and to encourage others to step into that space.

Beautiful. What a compliment for your daughter and what you've generated and encouraged inside of her. So let's talk about that. How do we advocate? Because, Melissa, I think some would say I'm not able to do that, you know? I mean, I have to do what my boss says. I can't question my senior leaders or bring up something contrary to their point of view. How do we do that? How do we advocate? Because if a senior in high school can do it. How can we all do it?

Right? I think that sometimes we automatically think we have to be very direct, and I think that when we are super direct, we can feel very abrasive. It can feel incredibly uncomfortable. And so I really have been on this, this path lately, of lead with curiosity, and when you can ask questions, you can foster and invite different conversations, right? Instead of just saying you shouldn't do that that way. Why do we do this this way? How was this process established? When is the last time we re evaluated? If you know this is the best way to be approaching something. And so it starts to open up, right? It doesn't feel like an attack on the person you're talking to. And it starts to be a softer intro to kind of tiptoe into the conversation. And I think for a lot of people, you know, a lot of people are very timid and don't want direct confrontation. And so that stops people from realizing how to lean into their voice. And so when you can do it in a way that seems more curious, and you can just find those questions, I feel like you start to tiptoe into the conversation to also see how deep is the water? Right? How far out can I go on this before you get in over your head and feel like you can't you know, you're drowning. So I think this concept of just really being able to think intentionally about how to do it. I also think timing is really important. We do some really big projects, and we get to a moment in time where it is just all systems go there. There is no opportunity to challenge, to question. We like to be making notes for next time how we're going to do it better. But that is not the moment like when all hands are on deck and it's a four alarm fire right to like, can we just talk about this process like, that's the wrong time, so to really pay attention to when the right time is to really like, be able to have somebody's full attention. I think those things start to set you up for, you know, more success. There's more research around this too, and you can always look up more best practices, so you can go in feeling prepared sometimes, right you can even write out or think about questions that maybe the other person might ask, or if you were on the flip side I love right now. I don't mean to keep talking about my children, but my son is currently in mock trial, and one of the things that I love the most about what they do is that they have to represent both sides. And so I think when you talk about, how do you do this successfully, sometimes it is imagining ourselves in their shoes. I grew up in a fixed mindset world, but I'm a growth mindset person, and so to really be able to think about, where does somebody come from, what has formed their thoughts and their opinions, it starts to make for a better conversation. You won't always receive that. You know you can try to lead that way, and you can try to be able to go down that road, but you have to know sometimes people don't know how to do it, and it's not you or them. It can just be how they've experienced their life, yeah, but

we want to demonstrate what we want to get in return, and if we demonstrate it, then we exponentially improve our chances of having that open, curious learning conversation. Melissa,

then you start to show other people again too. What does an alternative look like? It's much like what you just said before on the first question, right? They can be like, Oh, I never thought of approaching something this way. Or, how did I even change my mind? Because that was a great conversation we just had. And so I think it also in a professional setting, I think it can really start to advance people in their career paths.

Terrific. I want to underscore the other two strategies that you shared with us, Melissa as well, the lead with curiosity, get curious. And then when you were sharing examples of different questions that we could ask, I noticed they were all open ended, and that tone mattered. So. The way that you said them to me was a very curious tone. So we do need to take that pause, take that breath, so that we can come at it with curiosity. And then the timing is important. In the middle of the most urgent part of the project might not be the moment to share. Could we have process checks along the way about how we're doing, but and definitely post project that acknowledgement of what worked, what didn't work, what ideas do we have? So as team members, we can prompt for those kinds of conversations. As leaders, we can bake those into the process. It's

funny that you say that too Amy, because we naturally after large projects, we always do a debrief. I didn't even think twice, right? That some people might not, because it's so much a part of our fabric, but to your point, when you start to just talk about what went well, what could go better, right? We don't have to negatively label it, but where could we make improvements? And those discussions where you're acknowledging both things just help you continue to elevate well,

and then you hear each other's perspectives on that, oh, that really, really worked for them. Okay, I'll be sure to do it that way again. It might have just been something I tried one time and maybe wasn't gonna make it a permanent part of my approach. Well, now I know what really worked for you, so I'm gonna make sure to do that again.

Or it can be valuable as a manager, right, trying to work with your team, as a higher up, trying to kind of be able to draw more out of your team. Yeah, all the way around. Value comes Yes.

Okay, I have more questions, Melissa, but I'm going to pause and tell the listeners more about you. Melissa Lagowskicreated Big Buzz Idea Group in November of 2004 as a boutique agency to provide management, marketing and event services to nonprofits and associations. Melissa is dedicated to providing full operational support or a la carte services that will allow charitable organizations to run more effectively with 34 years of corporate and nonprofit experience, Melissa has consulted national organizations, managed local chapters, provided virtual office assistance to numerous NPOs, launched and executed large fundraisers, conceived innovative and lucrative new programming, coordinated client conferences, workshops, dinners and awards functions, Amongst other rewards and accomplishments, Melissa has achieved enterprising Woman of the Year by Enterprising Women magazine in 2014 NAWBO Chicago, Presidential Award of Excellence in 2014 woman of influence by the Chicago Business Journal, 2016 NAWBO Chicago, member of the Year award. 2023 and CO 100 America's top 100 small businesses in 2024. Glad to have you and all of your expertise with us. Melissa,

thank you. Thank you very much.

I want to ask you about processing in the moment, because Melissa sometimes speaking personally, sometimes something comes up and I process it, and it's like, Yes, I do want to say something, and I'm able to ask a question or share a point of view in that moment. And sometimes I'm not. Sometimes something falls down in that right? Either I can't process quick enough in that moment, right? Or it does come out too direct, or that not direct enough, right? It really don't grab someone's attention in that moment. What advice do you have when something unexpected comes our way and Oh, I do want to voice something in this moment.

I think first we have to remember it's okay to take a breath. I feel like silence can seem like an eternity, but when we just pause to reflect for a moment, it can be so powerful, both for us and for whoever we're speaking with, or what have you. So I think that first of all, knowing we don't have to be so direct, and just knowing inside right, like to your point the tone is really important. So if all of a sudden you find yourself right, like kind of rising in a tone that might not be conducive, if you can be very aware of that, to take that pause, especially in moments like that, it's going to be more important. I think second we can kind of practice it's a muscle. We're not going to be good. I forget who said it, but I when I heard it, I loved it. And, you know. First few times you do something, you're going to suck, you're just going to suck. And that's okay, because you are gaining practice to get better. And so the value of being able to think about things sometimes in advance, right? Like, what might questions be? Because I feel like if you kind of have them in your toolbox, you know, and you heard me say, like, have we thought? Could we try, like, if you think about simple intro phrases that might lead that conversation, your mind can pull on those when needed. And I think the other thing that I really think is okay too, right? Sometimes we we shouldn't address something in the moment. Sometimes it can be far too charged. We can hear somebody else's energy, and we can get a sense of again, right? Is the timing? Right? How strong are they in their convictions? Is it the right time to test that challenge, that question, you could really embarrass people if you ask about something in a big setting. So sometimes one on one could be good, but I think that it's okay too, that you don't have to have every conversation immediately, I think, in our daily lives and in the places where we spend a lot of time, we can ask for a follow up conversation once we've had a time to reflect. I used to be one of those people. I would always think of all the things that I really was feeling after I left the room and I didn't know what to do with it. So I think in that moment, to be able to then say, you know, hey, I was thinking more about that. Could we have a follow up conversation? Could we just have a 10 minute check in, or whatever the case might be, and then you can do it directly. You can do it in a private setting. You can do it once you had a time to really reflect and prepare, so you'll feel better, and hopefully the any charge that might have been in the moment will have dissipate.

Love it. I want to repeat all of those. Melissa, so first of all, take a breath. And I like the way that you say that the breath, because that can be a psychological threat moment. And of course, our brains treat psychological threats like physical threats, so it goes into the amygdala hijack fight in a freeze mode. And that's not what we need if we're trying to think, what do I want to say in this moment? So when we take that breath, it tells our brain the humans not running from a tiger. So you can get out of the amygdala hijack and you can let that brain activity go to the prefrontal cortex. Love that you said. Silence is okay. Let the silence sit right. If you do decide to say something in that moment, you can say, I've been thinking about this. I can You can even admit I'm not sure I'm going to say this in the best way. Yes, I want to have a conversation here. Something's coming up for me, right? So that silence is okay. The practice, sometimes it's practicing in retro, right? What I wish I would have said in the line at the Starbucks, it

prepares you for the next time. Right? Then you can get your

on ramps to the curious questions and get those prepared, get some open ended questions at the ready, and know that if it's a long term relationship, you might not be able to come back to it later. If it was the person in the Starbucks line, right, but right your team member, if it's your colleague, there's always an opportunity to come back to it later. And maybe that's the best if you can have a moment to think through your messaging in your perspective and do what you said earlier, Melissa practice, like, what is their point of view?

Yeah, I like what you also said too, right? Like, sometimes when you do intro into those, I think saying I've got more questions, or something's coming up for me, because, again, right? That doesn't seem attacking, that doesn't seem direct, that doesn't seem challenging, that seems like I am sitting with something that I'd like to reconcile. And people often want to help other people. I mean, good people want to help other people generally. And so that starts to like be a safer space.

Yes, I'm pondering something that's not sitting well with me, rather than you said something super triggering me right now, Melissa, why is it important for all of us to have and use our voice, no matter what position, no matter how new we are to a Team? Why is that important?

I think there are so many important reasons to be a leader in the circles you touch again. I think I was super motivated to lean more into that during a time when I realized that there had been some long term biases in our society that unintentional. But if. Are not intentional, things don't change. That was such an eye opening moment for me. And so I think right a lot of people want to advance, and they don't know how. And so if you squash that voice, if people don't know you are there, if you are not having the hard conversations, then you could get passed up, you could be the smartest person in the room, and you won't get the opportunity to let your light shine to its fullest potential. And I think the more that people can understand themselves and be aware then again, right? I just think the more in alignment you are. And when you know your values, when you can protect those values, it helps you find the people that you align the best with, too. We primarily work with nonprofit organizations, and what we really find is that the best boards are when people come in focused on the mission and the vision, they have a shared goal of what they're trying to accomplish, and they're willing to have difficult conversations, not by attacking one another, which is like how I grew up and right? It was a blame game. It always felt awful. But instead, when you can just say, like, oh, I don't understand what you're seeing. Can you tell me about that? Oh, yeah, I want to understand your idea more too. Oh, what if we took a little bit of this and a little bit of that, and then I think this would bring us to a better solution. So I think we are in a point in time where the more we can have these openly candid conversations and bring candor to the conversations. I think they're more real. I think they accomplish more. They move the needle. And I think the benefit, I mean, it can be to your company, to your family, to yourself, you know, whatever that might look like, but I think it allows you to feel more fulfilled. And I think it continues to let us all build up our self confidence, which I just think really helps us all shine brighter and

new leaders, emerging leaders or new team members like, build that self confidence now, right? Don't start sharing your voice, like once you get to mid level management or a certain number of years in your career, let your light, let your strengths, let yourself shine. Now I love this is the way that we are going to break down long term bias. And I want to add on to what you're saying about let your thoughts, let your ideas out there. Make your mark. Melissa, I talk to leaders all the time who are asking me, How do I get my team members to be more proactive, to take ownership, to use their critical thinking right? There's too much just in execution mode, and I'm doing what I'm asked and not thinking any more or different about it. So I'm here to say individual contributors, new team members, like your leaders, are here for it. They want to know that you care and you're thinking about the results and how to best get there, yeah, and this is how we accomplish the mission, talking through all the ideas and the perspectives, because challenges, opportunities, they're complex right now, and we need all of that healthy debate to work out the best possible solutions.

Yeah, debate is not a bad word, right? Like debate, debate is really thinking things through more thoroughly, and I think if we reframe it, it starts to feel a lot better. And I think we as leaders in positions of authority need to make sure we're making time for those conversations to help our team understand how important they they are, and that we're serious about it, because you can say it, but if you don't make time to help them feel like, you know, psychologically safe, if they don't feel that they can be vulnerable, or if they feel that they're going to be ostracized or cast away, if they share their voice, you're not going to get the The full benefit of of sharing that you could

Yes, leaders can encourage this and create the environment where it feels safe, both in one on ones of it. And talk with leaders about, tell me two things that are working about the project and two things that are not right. Prompt for both sides of the coin, and then in meetings. All right, who has a different perspective? Yeah, maybe even assigned roles. Melissa, I want you to play devil's advocate today.

Yes, right, that's a great idea. I love that one. Melissa,

if someone feels like they haven't been practicing, no. And sharing their voice. What would you recommend for them to get started, to firmly plant themselves on this journey?

I would consider starting with journaling, I think, a little bit of writing and getting your thoughts on paper, if you can reflect on times when maybe you wish you had, I think we all have some of those in the in the closet, if you will. And so really, just being able to start practicing that, to think about it, and sometimes right, like the role playing that you mentioned, I think can be huge. So whether that might be with a colleague, a teammate, your partner, you know, a friend. There's a lot of places where we can really practice it before maybe we unleash it, if you will. And I think that that can can help that dialog. And I think the other thing too, that I would really say for people who want to be a better leader, I think that sometimes it's important for for the juniors or the middle managers with the C suite, like, start showing an interest in them. Like, it doesn't have to go from the top down. I think that it needs to also come from the bottom up and in a thoughtful, respectful way, right? Even asking a leader above you, how did you get started? What are your aspirations? Like you? If you show a genuine interest, you start to forge that stronger relationship, where lovely conversations can evolve from there, terrific

advice. Journal. I love that, because that is active, constructive reflection, right? I'm imagining journaling about it and getting like, those starts to those curious questions. Like, I'm finding out, like, okay, the time that I was too, too aggressive in the moment, what was the trigger? Why did that happen? I wasn't able to formulate a response when I wanted to what was going on for me there, processing all of that, and then I love this. Just get curious. Form a relationship with those above us, around us. How did you get started? What excites you about this project, what concerns you about this project, what keeps you up at night, even

to your point, with your teammates, I mean, that can just help your team be more cohesive and effective, and the more you know how one another works. I had a teammate this week who just gave me an insight into how they work, and in doing that, I now can can have a better relationship, and we can communicate in a stronger way, which I loved.

Thank you, Melissa, for all of the great practical advice about how to do this. Right? We can talk in theory about having a voice and sharing your voice. You gave us some great practical ideas for doing so. Thank you for your time.

Thank you for the opportunity. Amy,

Thank you for listening to the Courage of a Leader podcast. If you'd like to further explore this episode's topic, please reach out to me through the courage of a leader website @ www.courageofalleader.com, I'd love to hear from you. Please take the time to leave a review on iTunes that helps us expand our reach and get more people fully stepping into their leadership potential. Until next time, be bold and be brave, because you've got the Courage of a Leader.