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4. What Do I Do When Being Reasonable Hasn't Worked? The School Escalation Pathway Schools Don't Tell You About - with Sara Hockings
Episode 516th June 2026 • ADHD Mums • Jane McFadden
00:00:00 00:46:07

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The principal told you to contact region. Region told you to contact the principal. You're sitting in your car wondering if you're going quietly insane. You're not — and neither is the principal. The system is built to do exactly this, to everyone inside it. Sara Hocking is back to map a way out, and the news isn't what you think.

What We Cover

  • The one subject line that forces an official response — and why most schools have been waiting for someone to send it
  • The institutional rule that makes principals back their staff publicly even when they're moving things behind the scenes — and how to read the quiet changes
  • The escalation pathway nobody hands you, and the exact point where 95% of parents tap out
  • The strategic reason to keep going past that point even when it feels pointless
  • Why teachers aren't ignoring you — Sara's frame for what's actually happening in the staffroom, and what they're being asked to triage every day
  • The paper-trail trick you can do in 30 seconds on your phone after every conversation
  • Why you arrive at every school meeting already at a ten, and what the other parents in the room don't realise about themselves
  • What restraint, expulsion and catchment actually mean — and the policy vacuum that hands one principal the call when there should be a system holding it
  • Stop waiting for an apology. Sara explains why it isn't coming from individuals, and what to watch for from the structure instead.

Free Resources

School Complaint & Escalation Guide: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/school-complaint-escalation-guide/

Quiet Exclusion Kit: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/quiet-exclusion-kit/

More from Sara

Sara Hocking runs See Beyond — neuroaffirming, nervous-system-informed resources for parents and schools, including free printables you can send straight to your child's teacher: https://seebeyondau.org/

Paid Resources

Making School Work — Parent Guide: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/

School Burnout — When School Can't Cope: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-school-burnout-when-school-cant-cope/

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57. 57. Unique Differences of ADHD and Autism in Women with Dr. Jacinta Thomson
00:56:01
56. 56. Epic Mum Fails That Will Have You Roaring With Laughter with Shantelle Poynter.
00:51:38
55. 55. Building Resilience in a Neurodiverse Family with Lael Stone
00:51:13
54. 54. Advocating for your child's success at school with Tania Waring
01:17:17
53. 53. Interview with Matilda Boseley on the book 'The Year I Met My Brain'
00:50:02
52. 52. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria - A Personal Story With Tammie Ray
00:51:26
51. 51. Addiction and ADHD (Food and Alcohol) with Fiona McIntyre
00:57:28
49. 49. Strategies without medication for ADHD with Jess Bevan
00:44:27
50. 50. Being Your Authentic Self with Louise Fitzpatrick
00:59:15
48. 48. Supplements and ADHD
00:27:42
47. 47. Emotional Eating and ADHD with Denise Stojceski
00:36:20
46. 46. True Inclusion with Jules from William Ready
00:56:37
45. 45. The Untold Struggles of Motherhood (Part 1)
01:05:28
44. 44. School Holiday Planning & Hope with Tania Waring
01:14:41
43. 43. PMS and ADHD with Kylie Smart
00:36:05
42. ADHD and Parenting with Sharon Collons
00:52:59
41. 41. High Camouflaging ADHD and Autism with Millie Carr
01:16:02
40. 40. High Performance and ADHD with Jessica Burgess
00:50:32
39. 39. NDIS episode with Jane McFadden
00:37:22
38. 38. My Diagnosis Journey with Jasmine Meek (Part 2)
01:06:33
37. 37. Anxiety & ADHD with Jessica Burgess
00:47:28
36. 36. Learning to holiday with ADHD and with ADHD kids with Shantelle Poynter
01:17:44
35. 35. Do you have ADHD or is this just #Mum Life?
01:09:20
34. 34. Being Neurotypical in a relationship with a ADHD person with Sharon Collon
00:57:11
33. 33. Neurodiverse Classrooms with Millie Carr
01:05:53
32. 32. My Diagnosis Journey with Jasmine Meek (Part 1)
01:11:29
31. 31. Meltdowns with Tania Waring
01:00:56
30. Interview with Motherhood the Beautiful Nightmare
01:01:52
29. 29. Self Hatred and ADHD with Shantelle Poynter
00:56:41
28. 28. What is ADHD Coaching? with Michele Toner
00:30:03
27. 27. Sensory Overload with Deanna Reynolds
00:34:57
26. 26. School Holidays Shit Show
00:59:05
25. 25. Is Overwhelmed Mum Syndrome real? with Dr. Jacinta Thomson
00:35:46
24. 24. Relationships and ADHD with Shantelle Poynter
01:18:30
23. 23. ADHD & Learning With Deanna Reynolds
00:36:05
22. Therapy Fatigue
00:24:32
21. 21. The Australian school system & our sons. Interview with Tania Waring
00:58:43
20. 20. Medication and Psychiatrists
00:45:38
19. 19. ADHD Mum Fails and my big WHY I do this podcast.
00:33:11
18. 18. ADHD and the family dinner pressure. Chats with Shantelle Poynter (Part 2)
00:30:11
17. 17. Mum's just get to feel like shit for 10 years? Chats with Shantelle Poynter (Part 1)
00:43:58
16. 16. Pregnancy, breastfeeding and ADHD meds. Interview with Rose Callaghan
00:32:23
15. 15. Where does trauma start and ADHD begin? Interview with Jenny Cleary
00:32:51
14. 14. Bored and Tired. #Mumlifeburnout with Angie Nennie
00:43:16
13. 13. The Australian school system & our daughters. Interview with Jenny Cleary
00:47:43
12. 12. How to get a diagnosis in Australia. Part 2. Interview with Dr Jacinta Thomson
00:26:38
11. 11. Masking & ADHD.
00:25:18
10. 10. Recognising ADHD in our daughters
00:31:41
9. 9. An RSD story. Taking my own advice
00:22:01
8. 8. Why am I never doing what I'm supposed to and what can I do about it?
00:29:39
7. 7. How to get a diagnosis in Australia. Part 1. Interview with Dr. Jacinta Thomson
00:31:35
6. 6. Is ADHD just an excuse?
00:28:00
5. 5. ADHD Mum life and Study, how does that work? Interview with Lucy Holister
00:27:37
4. 4. Hyperfocus - an uplifting story. Interview with Lucy Holister
00:30:35
3. 3. Can we impact the world? Interview with Lucy Holister
00:29:54
2. 2. Is the world ready for women to be diagnosed with ADHD? Interview with Katie Underwood
00:24:31
1. bonus 1: Why are so many Mums being diagnosed with ADHD?
00:22:29