In this episode, Anna Parker-Naples discusses the idea of not apologising for taking a break from her podcast and encourages listeners to reflect on when they feel the need to apologize for doing what is right for themselves. She explores the conditioning that leads us to believe we must always push ourselves and shows the importance of listening to our bodies and prioritizing our own needs. Anna also shares her excitement about her breathwork certification program and the positive feedback she has received. She concludes by urging listeners to stop apologizing for things they don't need to apologise for.
I'm not going to do it. I am not making an apology in this episode today. And the reason that this is not about making an apology is because I took an unplanned, unannounced break from this podcast. And there is a little bit of an explanation around that, but no apology for it. And this episode really is about getting you to think about when are you making yourself in the wrong?
for doing something that felt right. When are you feeling as though you need to apologize for things where you have done exactly the correct thing for you in your situation at that time? I haven't been here for three weeks, three Monday mornings rolled around and I did not release an episode of this podcast. It wasn't planned, it wasn't intentional.
And the surface level reason for why that's happened is I didn't feel like it. But when I allow myself to drill deeper into that, part of it is because out of the blue, we had quite a few health scares or health investigations that have had to go on through our family. We've definitely had our fair share of NHS appointments, scans.
MRIs, CAT scans, ultrasounds, consultants. I mean, I think we've been between us to about five or six different hospitals for various different things over the last six weeks. We've gone on roller coasters of, oh shit, that's quite scary too. It's probably nothing. And I'm not really going to share on this episode whereabouts we are on that journey for various things going on because frankly, you don't need to know. And...
I make no apology for that. Again, right? There's that justification. Now, previous versions of me, previous versions of me, particularly in the entrepreneurial space, would have felt that I was failing if I did not stick to my commitment to show up every week no matter what. And I know that I am growing as an individual. I am learning as an individual and I am striving.
Anna Parker-Naples (:
No, striving sounds like it's a success and ambition word. I am actively pursuing and embodying the role of listening to my body and putting my own and my family needs first. And I think it's so easy, particularly in the entrepreneurship space, particularly in the personal growth space, to have that...
that push mentality, that commitment no matter what, that if I don't show up and commit, because I've said I will, that I'm therefore failing, that I'm inherently wrong. Where did that come from? Where did this feeling that if we don't commit or show up relentlessly, two things that feel difficult at a particular time.
or when we don't feel like it, when did that make us wrong? Think about it. How often do you apologise for things when actually you did what was right for you? How often do you apologise for things when it wasn't actually your fault? How often do you apologise for things when actually it was someone else's fault or there was a much bigger issue at play?
And how many people, and I bet you know one of these people if you aren't them yourself, how many times do you find or are with someone who says sorry almost as often as they say thank you? Or maybe even more? They are saying sorry and apologizing for things that have nothing to do with them. And it's actually quite infuriating to be around somebody who apologizes all the time.
because it loses its meaning. And also you sense in that that they are giving away their power and their strength. Sorry begins to mean nothing.
Anna Parker-Naples (:
So let me get you to think about the conditioning that you have and that I have, have had, that I'm unraveling, where you need to apologize or explain or justify four things that are far better for you to leave unsaid. And where did you learn that? Now for me, in the version of me that's recording this right now,
I feel as though I have grown, shifted, evolved hugely over the last seven years whilst I've been podcasting. And whilst I would have said before that my podcast went out relentlessly no matter what. Well actually this particular show now in its current iteration, me in my current iteration is all about honesty, deep honesty about
behaviors, actions, thoughts, growth, self -actualization. And I actually find it challenging to show up and
and have a, I find it challenging to show up and have a show about being honest when there's something I'm not going to discuss because like it's not fair on my family or we don't know or we're going through some emotional wobbles and on this emotional roller coaster.
So where did that conditioning come from? When did it make it wrong? When did we make ourselves wrong? When did we make ourselves not good enough? When did we make ourselves having to ingratiate ourselves so that we're not rejected or so that it doesn't appear that we've let people down? What's that all about? And I am wondering if there's more conditioning for women to behave that way than there is for men.
Anna Parker-Naples (:
I don't know the answer to that but I think it is worth pondering. Maybe I'll come back to that on another episode. Maybe I won't and that's going to be okay too.
Anna Parker-Naples (:
On this journey of leaning more and more into my felt sense, to my intuition, to my body, to the niggles and what the things I want to do and the things that I don't, I'm learning to recognize what's sitting in my body, learning to acknowledge when I really don't want to do something and actually when something lights me up and brings me joy. And...
To be honest, I've not given this podcast much of a thought because of other more important things going on in my life. Until someone reached out to me who's been inquiring about the breathwork certification. And I think I've got a helicopter going overhead. I'm sitting in my car right now, waiting to go in and see my daughter's musical theatre show. I saw it last night as well. I'm one of those mothers who goes to every single show that she does.
So I'm going to go in and see the matinee and then later this evening my family, the rest of my family are joining me for the last show. Anyway, so I'm sitting in my car. You may or may not have heard that helicopter and I'm not going to worry about that too much because this is more about us having this little chat. When did we start ignoring what's going on in our bodies? Or have we, have you always done that? Because...
As I was saying, I hadn't really given this a lot of thought other than I knew it wasn't my priority right now. But someone reached out to me inquiring about the Breathwork certification, which you can find out all about in the show notes. We are opening again really, really soon. And she ended her note by just saying, thank you for your podcast. I've been listening and I really like it because it's honest and it's raw and it's relatable. And...
That actually, that actually really made my day because...
Anna Parker-Naples (:
It's easy when you're doing a podcast, particularly this, that isn't like, it wouldn't be rated high value content. I'm not telling you how to do stuff. I'm not telling you how to make more money. I'm not, all that stuff that I've done in earlier versions of me, earlier versions of this podcast. I'm sharing my thoughts, my issues, my problems as they arise and asking you to question how you're behaving.
as I'm questioning how I'm behaving. And it was so nice to have that positive feedback. And I thought, yeah, do you know what? My podcast does bring me joy. It does bring me a really valuable way of communicating. And actually, for me, I don't need a lot of positive feedback, but I do need some sometimes to get me to drill deep. Because I know there's lots of you listening who,
this podcast resonates with you for some reason. I know the stats, I know how many people are tuning in each week. And that's interesting, isn't it? How when we hit a bit of a wobble, we can then start to believe, well, our work isn't worthy, our work isn't valued enough if we're not like top of the charts or we're not constantly in the sudden. Is there a Sunday Times bestselling podcast or most listened podcast? I don't even know. But when we're not, we're not.
We haven't got like the best or the showiest of things. But sometimes my personal preference for content is stuff I can really relate to. And what's interesting is I, even as I'm explaining that I don't want to explain, there is an urge for me to want to say, you know, it was a difficult decision to not record this podcast for a few weeks. No, it wasn't. It was an easy decision. It wasn't even a decision. It just was the right thing to do because I didn't feel like it.
And how many times do we believe in the personal development and personal growth space that we have to push on no matter what? That, my friends, is where burnout comes from. I've been there, I know lots of you listening have been there, or are scared of being on the edge of there. So I'm not gonna do that no more. This is my No Apology podcast episode. It makes me think of the greatest showman. I love that song.
Anna Parker-Naples (:
this is me. And yeah, so that's where I've been. I'm learning to trust my body. I'm learning to trust my joy. I'm learning to do things that light me up. I'm learning not to be relentless in my commitments if they don't actually serve me and my highest values at a particular time. I'd love to know your thoughts on that. When are you pushing yourself too hard when it's not right to do that? So all the stuff then that's been going on behind the scenes, slowly, carefully, quietly.
I have just completed designing all of the slides and the workbooks and all of those sorts of things for the final, final, final of week 24 of my breathwork certification. And I have to say, this is by far and away the piece of work that I am most proud of, that I've ever, ever, ever done. The students who are with me are loving it. They're loving the results. They're getting on their case studies and their test students.
and it's hugely gratifying and I cannot wait to share it all with you more. And the way that I'm going to be doing that is that now my headspace and my creativity space has been opened up for the first time in six months. I'm actually for the first proper time going to have a proper YouTube channel that's going to be about breath. It's going to be about...
the educational side of breathing, the functional side of breathing, the mind -body -spirit sides of it. We're going to be having not only lots of information, but also lots of exercises for you to do that coordinate and fit well with other branches of things I'm passionate about. So meditation tracks, breathing exercises, hypnosis audios that I've got, some of my guided breath works, the conscious -connected breathing.
all going to end up on that channel and it is going to be YouTube first but it is going to make it onto a podcast of its own on Apple and Spotify and wherever else you listen so look out for that shortly. At the moment it's earmarked to launch the end of April early May but I'm pretty fluid with that these days so we shall see but I'm really really looking forward to that and in the process of that we've been getting my office space
Anna Parker-Naples (:
redecorated, rearranged, finally got rid of a sofa that was in there that I didn't, we had for guests and things like that. And we don't use, it's taking up valuable space that I could be using for work every single day. So we got rid of that. My husband was using my office three, sometimes four days a week instead of me. That started in lockdown and become a really bad habit. And it meant that I've basically been floating around my house and not having a solid space for my business. I now run two businesses.
that bring in a sizeable income, feeling like a homeless vagabond within my own house, if that makes any sense. A bit dramatic though it sounds. So, yeah, that's what I've been up to and I'm really excited about the next phase of growing that as a business. I feel like I've created something really special that's deeply healing, hugely transformative.
on so many different levels, the subconscious stuff that I've loved for over a decade, the conscious how we think differently, how we behave differently, how we can change our biology, regulate our nervous systems. I love it, I love what this course represents and the changes, the ripple effect I can already see. So that's me, I am making no apologies as I sign off and I will be here next week unless I choose not to be. Question to finish with.
Where are you apologizing for things you really don't need to apologize for? That's it from me. Thanks for listening to Positively Influential with me, Anna Parker Naples. I will speak to you very soon.
