Title: Coaching in Action: Mindsets and Breathwork live
Episode Summary:
In this raw and unedited coaching session, Anna Parker-Naples hosts Karen Gibb, founder of Mind Marvels, a company focused on promoting wellbeing in children through mindfulness and relaxation techniques. The conversation dives deep into the challenges of entrepreneurship, the struggle of letting go, people-pleasing tendencies, and making strategic decisions. Karen undergoes a transformative coaching process, exploring her childhood memories and current business hurdles, leading to profound insights and mindset shifts.
Key Points Discussed:
Introduction of Karen Gibb and Mind Marvels: Karen shares her journey from being a teacher to founding Mind Marvels, which focuses on children's wellbeing in schools and nurseries.
Challenges of Franchising and Letting Go: Karen discusses the complexities of transitioning from a hands-on role to managing a growing franchise network, highlighting the difficulties in relinquishing control.
People-Pleasing Tendencies: Karen reveals her natural inclination to people-please and its impact on her decision-making and overall business strategy.
Deep Dive into Karen's Subconscious: Anna leads Karen through an exploration of her subconscious, linking childhood experiences to her current challenges in business leadership.
Breathwork and Mindset Intervention: The session includes practical exercises in breathwork and mindset reframing, demonstrating the power of combining these techniques in coaching.
Shifts in Decision-Making and Self-Acceptance: Karen experiences significant shifts in her approach to decision-making, moving away from people-pleasing and towards more assertive and strategic choices.
Concluding Thoughts and Future Outlook: Karen reflects on her realizations and the potential impact on her leadership style and business growth.
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Additional Notes: This episode provides an intimate look into the transformative power of mindset work and breathwork in the context of personal and business development. Listeners gain insights not only into Karen's journey but also into the potential of these techniques in their own lives.
Transcripts
Anna Parker-Naples (:
So Karen, as you know, I wanted to give you an opportunity to have a coaching session that I share with my podcast. And I want to just be open with the audience, with the listeners that we haven't spoken before. We've not really met. We've had a little bit of back and forth on Facebook Messenger, and I know you've been in my communities for a while. So what would be great is for you to just say, tell us a little bit about you.
tell us what you do, what's going on in your business, in your life, and we can start from there.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
Absolutely. So I'm Karen and my business is Mind Marvels. So we work in primary schools and nurseries delivering wellbeing sessions that help children to feel that little bit calmer. So we work around mindfulness and relaxation and breathing and positive affirmations. And recently we just franchised the business. So for people who don't maybe know, franchising is all about
having a support network around you of people in nearby areas. So everyone's self-employed and they have their own little area where they work in. But overall, we're a big team. It's really nice to have that.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
And so where do you fit into the business? Is it your business or do you own a franchise or?
Karen Gibb (:
Yep, so it's my business. So I was a teacher before and then I was really interested in mental health and wellbeing, but I wasn't sure how it fit into the school curriculum. So I kind of started exploring different things and then came, well, I developed Mind Marvels after a lot of tried and tested methods with the pupils in my class. I'm not sure how they felt but Really, really enjoyed it. So that was back in 2018 and 2019.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
amazing.
Okay.
Karen Gibb (:
And then we franchised around probably just close to a year ago now. And we've just been on a lovely rollercoaster ever since.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay. So what are the, what would you say are the biggest challenges for you Karen in, in running that business?
Karen Gibb (:
I think the biggest challenges are probably coping with everyone maybe wanting different parts of you. So you have a lot of different personalities in a franchise and people come from different walks of life, which is just amazing and it gives so much perspective to what you do. But stepping out of the business, so now I don't work in schools and nurseries so much, I'm more in the office developing the franchise.
So for me the biggest challenge is sometimes can be letting other people take over. It sounds strange but it's something that's been part of me for so long. But I'm so keen to see it spread throughout the UK and for people to really touch more children's lives in such a positive way. So there is a little bit of that letting go that can be difficult.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So let's talk about that letting go, because that's quite a common issue for people. How are you experiencing that?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
I think it's just, it's become such a part of my life that when it's not immediately part of my life, I do feel a little bit lost, I think. In a really positive way though, I'd say, I'm always ready for new challenges, new experiences, but I think it's different when it's other people are stepping into that role and it's more about how.
you let that go as a franchisor and you let the franchisees come in and take on that role essentially that you always had and that you created for yourself.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So what behaviors and actions do you find yourself doing as a result of that not really wanting to let go?
Karen Gibb (:
I think sometimes I worry, you know, I worry, am I doing this right? Am I making the right decisions? Is everyone happy? I think that's, I've always been a natural people pleaser and I'm always, I'm always wanting to make sure that people are happy and that I feel I've done a good enough job as a franchisor. There's so many hats to wear when you're running like the main part of the business that is really great.
It's great to take that step out of schools and nurseries but it's also it's quite overwhelming to be the person at the top sometimes.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Mm-hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
love to hear a little bit more about that people pleasing side of you and how that's potentially holding you back at the moment.
Karen Gibb (:
Potentially, yeah, I think it's a natural worry I've always had as a child and as an adult and wanting to people please and do right. But I think as I grow as a franchise or and I grow as a person, I'm beginning to realize that I can't people please. Like not everyone's gonna like me and that's something you just have to deal with in life. So I do incorporate a lot of the strategies that we teach the children. You know, I do my own mindfulness and I'm very into my own wellbeing. I mean, I would-
I'd be an absolute hypocrite if I didn't. But I think sometimes it's just letting that go, that inner, oh, is that good enough chat that I do here inside internally sometimes.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Absolutely.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So where did that I'm not good enough, or am I good enough and wanting to people please, where did that come from?
Karen Gibb (:
Do you know, it was really funny. I know exactly where it came from. It was as a child, I was really, I don't want to say I was bad at maths because I know that's like a limiting belief, but I was really terrified of maths as a child and I did not enjoy it. And I used to get the absolute fear about it with my primary school teacher at the time, who was, to put it mildly, a little bit terrifying. And I think, yeah, from that is always stemmed best.
belief of am I good enough? Can I do this?
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So that feeling of, am I good enough? In what way does that impact the business and the decisions that you make?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
Sometimes I can be really slow at making decisions, like painfully slow. I'll sit on things for weeks or I'll agonize over the smallest insignificant detail like the branding, like something going out to the franchisees, you know like an email or a letter and I think sometimes it's just like you just have to put it out there and what's the worst that's going to happen I'm not entirely sure.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Mm-hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So what's the knock-on effect then of being really slow in making decisions, particularly as the business grows?
Karen Gibb (:
It's just slowing everything down. It slows the growth of the business. It slows, yeah, it just halts the business. I think sometimes I had a strategic business decision maker with me. That would be a lot easier. I think sometimes when you're on your own, you do start to question. And if you have someone next to you, then perhaps you can make decisions quicker. But
Anna Parker-NAples (:
It holds.
Karen Gibb (:
I see this in my mother. My mother's very like this as well, very slow at decision making, but my dad's very fast paced and he just likes to get things done. So I wanna be in the middle. Ha ha ha.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, and let's talk a little bit about that vision then. Where is the company going? What is the vision?
Karen Gibb (:
Oh, the vision's huge, absolutely. I'm really ambitious and driven for the Mind Marvels franchise. So what we want to do is expand across the UK and then eventually expand into Australia for franchising as well. So we do have sort of like a five, 10 year goal sort of strategy. But sometimes when you're in the driving seat and you're doing the day to day, you know, you get bogged down in all the details as well.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Mm-hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Why does this work matter to you?
Karen Gibb (:
It's life-changing for franchisees, for myself and for the children that we work with and it's that ripple effect in the community. So you're impacting children's lives, parents, teachers, the school, the community. You know it's really difficult to measure well-being but the smallest impact that you can make. So if someone makes that decision between taking a breath or walking away rather than a big confrontation that could end you know tragically in some cases.
It's those moments you can't quite capture, but they're the ones that really do change.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So let's say then that because of the speed at which you are stalling decisions, what would be the worst case scenario of that for you?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
that no progress happens. I do have a little saying, messy progress is still progress. And I really like that saying because I try and use it when I do feel myself stalling or I think for me it's a lot of it is overthinking. So it's not even not making the decision. It's like, well, what if this happened, this happened, this happened. And really it's like just make the decision and then you'll see the outcome rather than worrying about the outcome.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Mm-hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
how much of that outcome, how much of that worrying and the over thinking is tied in with the people pleasing.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah, probably a lot actually. I hadn't linked the two, but yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, so what I'd love to do is, if you're willing, for us to do a little bit of subconscious work on delving into what this is. So you've already pinpointed that there's a situation in maths. Let's see if there's anything earlier or if there's anything we can unlock from that. Are you willing to give that a bit of a go?
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
Wow, absolutely, yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So I'm just gonna preface here as well that, seeing as we're recording this, and it may well be going out on the podcast, that you don't have to reveal anything that you don't wish to, and that it's still possible for your subconscious to let go of anything it no longer needs, okay? So we're just gonna do that. So you only share what you're happy to share. So...
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah. Okay. Sure.
Karen Gibb (:
Sounds good. Okay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
What I'm going to do is I'm going to ask you a series of questions which might get a little bit annoying because you know how normally when we're asked a question and we don't want to answer it we'll change the subject? Well this time I'm not going to let you change the subject. We're going to go on a particular path. We're going to follow one pathway of thought for you. And as we do this what happens is you're going to go from conscious thinking, the surface level thinking, back into your
Karen Gibb (:
Come on. You guys.
Karen Gibb (:
Yes.
Karen Gibb (:
Thank you.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
your subconscious. And so it will get harder and harder to answer the questions, even though the questions are really simple. And the questions are going to come from the language that you give to me. And I'm going to bring it back to you. That's why it can get really annoying because you're going to think, Hannah, I've just answered that. So let's start at the beginning. And my first question is going to be...
Karen Gibb (:
Okay.
Thank you.
Karen Gibb (:
Okay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
What's important to you about people pleasing?
Karen Gibb (:
Getting things right. Being accepted.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
what's important about getting things right.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay. And what does it mean to you to be accepted?
Karen Gibb (:
Relief?
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, why relief?
Karen Gibb (:
I think you always want people to think the best of you, so it makes you feel better, so probably contentment.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Knowing that in order to have contentment you believe or have believed in the past that you want people to like you, what does that bring to you, the awareness that in the past that's been your behaviour?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
Just knowing that that's a way to be liked, I think, is kind of leading back to that acceptance. It's like, everything's okay if everyone's accepting of you. That's probably what my subconscious says.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, let's just go back to one of the things you said just there. What's important to you about being liked?
Karen Gibb (:
Good question. What's important to me with being light? I think it's an ease, you know, it's an ease, it's a feeling of ease inside yourself that you're doing everything right. Which I know by the way sounds ridiculous. I totally understand.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Not at all. Not at all. So having that ease inside yourself, what does that give you?
Karen Gibb (:
peace of mind, absolute stillness, calm, kind of calm feelings inside.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
And when you have those calm feelings and peace of mind, what does that give you?
Karen Gibb (:
I think it leads back to that acceptance, the sort of, probably the loving feeling of everything's okay, you know, that kind of cotton wool feeling.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
what's important about having that cotton wool feeling of everything being okay.
Karen Gibb (:
total security, like in my life personally, professionally, just that warmth from everyone or within.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
and knowing that you can have that warmth.
What does that give you?
Karen Gibb (:
I think it goes back to that peace of mind, the just a total stillness again of.
Everything's okay and it will be okay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
What would you say is the most important thing about having that stillness for you?
Karen Gibb (:
how much it can impact my life. So if things are still in calm, I'm so much, I'm a better person for it. I'm more proactive, productive, nicer.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, what's important about being better and nicer for you?
Karen Gibb (:
These are the values of the business, you know, it's when I feel out my depth I don't want to have those unsure feelings of uncertainty.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay. Tell me about what it means for you to feel out of your depth.
Karen Gibb (:
when I'm unable to make any decision, small or big, when I'm not able to focus my mind, when I'm constantly worrying or catastrophising things inside my head as well.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
When you catastrophize, how's that serving you?
Good. Okay, good. A bit of laughter there. So knowing that it doesn't serve you at all to catastrophize and overthink, recognizing that that's quite funny that you do it anyway. What does that give you now noticing that?
Karen Gibb (:
Not at all.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
Oh yeah, yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
probably a bit of acceptance of myself because I think I can be quite angry, you know, internally, like, oh, I can't believe you're being like this, you know, better look at your business, you know, how to feel calm. But, you know, I'm
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, so when you when you feel that anger, what does it imply to you?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
that things are not, I'm not in control, that's exactly it. And not in a controlling way, it's just, I know that sounds silly, but it's more, I like to know where I stand, when I'm unsure of where I stand, that's when I get all the kind of turbulence inside my head.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
And when you have that turbulence inside your head, because you feel out of control, or not in control, should we say.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm. Yay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
does that complicate things?
Karen Gibb (:
Everything just takes so much longer to do. So everything's really drawn out. You know, I could quite easily spend a couple of days lying around doing nothing. And you know, I'm kind to myself. Don't get me wrong, if I have a bad day, I'm not like work, work. You know, I'm quite realistic that sometimes we do have off days, especially as women and our cycles. But yeah, I think for me, it could go south quite quickly.
but I'm able to recognise it fast enough to potentially pull myself out.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
And knowing that when you are in an emotional state or mental state, that you have the tools to pull yourself out, what does that give you?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
A bit of freedom, yeah, because I see it in other people like friends or family that are not able to use tools, that can't regulate themselves. I think it gives me that clarity or that ability to know that this feeling is temporary.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So knowing that any of the anger or frustration that you feel is temporary.
Karen Gibb (:
Hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
How does that help you?
Karen Gibb (:
Because you know it's not forever, it's not permanent. It's an emotion, good or bad, that's gonna come and go, and that's okay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
And knowing that it's an emotion that can come or go and that you'll be okay. What does that give you inside?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
I think knowing that it's coming and going gives a bit of relief to be honest, a bit of temporary relief that things will get better. And I'm a big believer in trying to, like every day's a new day, you know it's a cliche right? But how you feel today isn't going to be how you feel tomorrow, good or not so good.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
And that knowing that you have that ability to change that for yourself and have that relief, that relief is there and accessible, what does that bring to you?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
I think probably a bit of inner stillness that things will be temporary because it wasn't always like that, you know, there'd be many times where it would drag on for ages.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Yeah, so stillness is a big thing for you.
Karen Gibb (:
Huge, yeah, absolutely massive. I think because I'm such an outgoing, bubbly person, I'm actually quite an introvert, but it's not recognized so easily. So I spend a lot of time myself, but I really enjoy my own company. And I like going.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Tell me about that.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, so when it comes to the people pleasing, but knowing that you're okay on your own because you enjoy your own company, what do you notice about those two things?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
do I spend time alone because of the people pleasing or I'm not sure. But I really enjoy my own company I think. I think that's okay. I have a lot of friends that don't want to go to events themselves but I never ask people to go to events. I usually just go myself.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So that desire to people please, and how it is slowing you down with making important strategic decisions, talk me through a way that might play out for you.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
So it could be something like I have, so I always schedule emails to go out to franchises. I don't like to, you know, when you have an email, you don't want to bombard with emails. I always like to schedule them out over a couple of days if I've got a few emails to send. So if I have an email to send, I'll write it out and I'll schedule it, but then I'll probably go back two or three times before I know what's going to go out just to check that everything reads okay, that there's not any sort of tone that could be misinterpreted.
that I've said please and thank you, which I always do anyway.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So that actually could, as your business grows, those kinds of behaviors could actually, as you say, stall things because you're not spending your time on areas of growth for the business because you're seeing to details that actually doesn't have to be you doing them when they don't need doing at all. Okay. So let's look at that people pleasing specifically. So what I want you to do is I just want you to close your eyes.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
huge. Yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
of the ones in the room. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
sure.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
And I want you to bring to mind that very first instance of when you first felt that you weren't enough and so you had to please someone to be enough. What comes to mind when I say that to you?
Karen Gibb (:
Definitely that whole period of my life with the teacher and the maths, I remember we had a test to do at school and I took it home at lunchtime.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Hmm
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, so what I want you to do is I want you to imagine that you have this timeline in front of you. So you've got, you know which way is your future, which way is your past, yeah? You know where that is for you. And I want you to just float above that timeline until you find this moment, in this specific moment, not a general wash of that period, but that specific moment where you're in that classroom, is it? And I want you to just be above it and look down on it and let me know.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
when you can see it.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, so just describe what you can see.
Karen Gibb (:
So I can see all the children working away and I'm just sitting there thinking I have no idea how to complete this.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay. So it's at this in this scenario, is this the very first instance of you at a subconscious level deciding that you aren't good enough? Or is there something earlier?
Karen Gibb (:
I think I'd be about seven or eight here so I don't massively remember anything huge before then. Okay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, let's, let's work with this. And if something much earlier comes up, then let me know. So what I'm going to get you to do is I'm going to get you to, if you're, if you're willing to release some of the beliefs that you created at that moment regarding people pleasing being enough. Are you willing to make some changes at a subconscious level today? Good.
Karen Gibb (:
Yes, please.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So what I want you to do is I want you to look down on this event, right? So you're gonna, you're floating up really, really high, but you're still looking down on it. And you could be as high as, I don't know, the Eiffel Tower or something like that, but you can still see it. And I want you, as you look at it from that perspective with young Karen in the classroom, to tell me what you learn or observe.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
The learning or observing of which will mean that you can release the emotion connected with the event and let go of the limiting belief connected with the event, but store any of the learning so that if your subconscious needs them in the future, then they'll be there. Is that okay? Okay. So tell me then what you learn or observe.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah, yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
I think I can just feel that anxiety, like that feeling, like the tightness in my chest, like even as a young girl, like that worry about it that I couldn't, I just remember everyone sitting scribbling away.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Just look at this event, look at this specific event, and in this event you notice that you have anxiety and tightness in your chest. What else do you notice?
Karen Gibb (:
that I just feel inadequate really. I feel silly and probably stupid.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, what else? What else can you learn?
Karen Gibb (:
Shame, total shame here.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
What else?
Karen Gibb (:
probably guilt as well because I can't be on par with my classmates.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
In that case, what else?
Karen Gibb (:
Humiliation.
Karen Gibb (:
embarrassment, fear probably of getting things wrong.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay.
Okay, so I want you to just float a little bit higher and look down again, the same event. And I'm going to just share with you what it is you've expressed so far. And I want you to, I'm going to ask you then what else is missing? What else is there for you to learn or observe so that you can preserve their learnings, but release the emotions and the beliefs. So there was an anxiety, there was a tightness in your chest.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
You felt inadequate, silly and stupid and shame and guilt and that you're not on a par with your classmates and that it's humiliation and embarrassment and some fear. What else is there for you to learn and observe, Karen?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
It's people pleasing. It's absolutely people pleasing.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
people pleasing. Okay. So as you look at this with your adult mind now.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
What can you learn about the decisions you made as you look down there now?
Karen Gibb (:
that it wasn't really my fault, it wasn't purely down to me. I could ask for help, which is what I did. I could look for support in my classmates.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
It wasn't your fault? Good, what else?
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Mm-hmm.
Okay, what else?
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Mm-hmm. What else?
Karen Gibb (:
could just accept that some parts of maths perhaps aren't for me. I'm not going to be great at everything I do, but that's okay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Mm-hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Thanks.
Okay, what else?
Karen Gibb (:
that it's okay to feel like this, like this moment will pass
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, just flip right up high, looking down on that event. And you've already taken some big learnings, but it wasn't your fault, it wasn't about you. You could ask for help and look for support. You could accept that this will pass and that maybe it's just some parts of maths, it's not my whole self. And that it's okay not to be great at everything and it's okay to feel this way. What else can you learn, Karen?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
so you can preserve those learnings and release the emotion and the decision.
Karen Gibb (:
It's okay to get things wrong. It's okay to observe and make decisions. And I guess they might not be right at the time, but you don't know until you try.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
What else do you need to learn?
Karen Gibb (:
forgive myself.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Good.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm. Just to let it go in a positive way.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
What else?
Karen Gibb (:
To just be myself, you know, to be okay with the abilities that I have and to maybe hone in on the ones that I'm good at or that I excel at.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
good. So what I want you to do now is to float down inside that vent. So you're looking at it through your own eyes. I want you to just go inside to the areas of your body that have felt this anxiety and tightness in your chest. Is there anything else you're feeling in your body?
Karen Gibb (:
Probably like nervousness and feeling unsure.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay.
Okay, so where's that located in your body?
Karen Gibb (:
hands on my hands stomach mouth is dry
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So what I'd like you to do is I'd like you to breathe in through your nose, taking the breath to those areas, releasing through the nose as well.
Taking the breath to those areas as you breathe gently.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
noticing that your palms are going back to normal. Yeah, you're nodding, good. Noticing that the parts in your belly softening, they're really softening, they're not hard anymore. Can you feel that? Yeah, keep breathing.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
I'd like you to breathe into the tightness in your chest and notice that with each breath that you take, you're able to relax the muscles around your rib cage, your intercostal muscles. You're able to relax your diaphragm and relax your shoulders.
And after another couple of breaths, when you know that tension and that fear has been replaced by a feeling of calm and peace and stillness, let me know when you've made that change.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah, I feel better.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Good. So what I want you to do is just check on those emotions there in that moment with the maths in front of you. I want you to ask yourself are the emotions there or have they gone now?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
are still a little present but not as severe as they were.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, so come back out of the scene and up above, up above. Look down. I'd like you to observe what else there is for you to notice and acknowledge in order to have full forgiveness and to release this need to people please. I'm going to remind you of what you've shared so far. That there was an anxiety and a tightness in your chest.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
that you feel inadequate or silly and stupid, that there's shame, there's guilt. You're not on a par with your classmates and there's humiliation and embarrassment and fear that this really is people pleasing. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't about you. You could have asked for help and you could have looked for support and that you can accept yourself. And that maybe it's just some parts of maths, not the whole of you.
that you're not great at everything and that's absolutely okay and it's okay to get things wrong sometimes as long as you're being yourself. It's all right to observe for a while and make decisions and you don't know until you give it a go and it's okay to forgive yourself and to let it go in a positive way.
What else is there for you to learn at deep subconscious level, Karen, so that you can preserve the learnings and release the emotions.
Karen Gibb (:
I think it's that my family will help me, like they'll always be there. I think sometimes, I think as a child I thought...
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Look at the event. Look at the event. Just stay in this event. So your family will help you. Okay. My family will help me. What else?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm. With the maths, yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
perhaps that I don't necessarily need maths in my life. You know, I can find sources to help.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Good. What else?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
that it doesn't make me silly or stupid, it's just my brain. The word weak came to mind, but I don't mean that in a negative way, although I know it sounds negative. I just mean that I don't excel in that area in my life, and that's okay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
What does it make you?
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, so noticing that you're not silly or stupid, what else is there for you to notice? And learn. Good.
Karen Gibb (:
I think everything will be okay. This is such a small moment in my life and although it might change to some degree the outcome of my life, it's not going to define me anymore.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Good. Is there anything else for you to learn?
Karen Gibb (:
I'll get by, I always do.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, lovely. So go back inside the event. I want you to check on the emotions. Are they there now?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah, they've gone.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Good. So what I want you to do is to be above your timeline again and slightly before this event happens and all of the bits leading up to that particular event. And I want you to float above your timeline all the way back to now with all the subsequent memories and events where you people pleased and thought you weren't enough or were silly or stupid.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
And really at the rate that you need to go at to release that belief at each of those subsequent events, I want you to go to this position for each of those events, release the release the emotions and preserve the learning so that if you do ever need them, they'll be there. So taking your time to come all the way back to now, integrating a full deep subconscious level. And when you're ready, when you've made that deep change.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Open your eyes and come back.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
knowing that a big change has taken place. So Karen has come back really smiling. So tell me, tell me how you are right now.
Karen Gibb (:
I'm going to go ahead and close the video.
Karen Gibb (:
That was just, it was, I can't speak. It was, I remembered so much about that event that I didn't know that I remembered. But then most importantly, when I came above the timeline, I could see other events as a child, which I'd totally forgotten about. When you said, have a think about other, I could see them all there. And I realised it's not.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
part of me, although it's part of me, it's not part of me now, you know, it's a learning.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Right. Yeah. So tell me then a little bit about if something had happened in the past and you really wanted to people please in your business, what would happen now? Would you still do the same behaviours?
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
No, I think, I mean, it will take some training. Let's, let's be realistic to some degree. But I think it's, it's like, probably putting a bit of a question to like, what is this worth? You know, is this worth me rereading an email five times? Is that worth my time? No.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Right. And so for you as a business owner with someone with a huge important mission, is it worth your time?
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
To worry and to people please? No, not at all. It's, you know, as long as you're leading with empathy and love and kindness then that's what you need to be a good business leader. Absolutely.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So what's going to shift for you now having that awareness?
Karen Gibb (:
I think just being more aware this is what I'm doing. I hadn't realized the two were linked, the people pleasing and the sort of insecurity. And I think it's just being that conscious aware now that I've been subconsciously aware.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Yeah, yeah. So there's also there's also some somatic awareness. So what I'd like you to do now is I'd just like to invite you to close your eyes. Just close your eyes again. And what I want you to do is pinpoint in your body now.
Karen Gibb (:
Okay.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
that feeling of peace that you can have.
and if there are any blockages or obstructions to where that piece is.
Karen Gibb (:
some slight tension I'd say in my shoulders. Probably a bit like someone holding down. Yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, so describe that tension to me.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, so like, so there's a pressure, someone holding down. Okay, so that's a heavy, that's heavy. Is there a color associated with it? Or a texture?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
Strangely, I saw yellow when you said that. I'm not sure.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, so there's like a hard yellow that's there, okay. So what I'd like you to do now, again, just taking breaths in through your nose, now of your mouth, this time.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Every time you're breathing in, you're going to breathe in to release and lift off your shoulders. So whatever it is that's on your shoulders, the inhale is going to lift it.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
And as you exhale, that yellow is going to change.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Keep breathing.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Just take two really nice breaths through the nose, down into the belly.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Now describe for me how things are in your shoulders.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah, it's definitely starting to loosen up. Yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay. Is that yellowness or that heavy feeling still there?
Karen Gibb (:
Only a little bit in one shoulder, bizarrely.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, so what I want us to do that one is on the one shoulder describe that to me now what's it like now?
Karen Gibb (:
It's as if someone's putting their cause.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, that's great. It's great that your subconscious is providing something really strong and quite funny. So, if somebody else came to you and said, I've got this issue that's really causing me some issue on my shoulder and it feels like this, what would you advise them to do to get rid of that?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
probably think about stresses and maybe try to ease it off with some exercise and breathing.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Okay, so let's go back. If someone said to you, Karen, I've got someone holding onto my shoulder and clawing into my shoulder, what would you say to them?
Karen Gibb (:
Hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
See, get it off.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
We'll get it off. Okay. So what I want you to do is do whatever needs to happen inside your mind to release that grip, that gnarly hand that's been on your shoulder, weighing you down on that side. Just want you to see it happening. Can you see it happening? It's funny, right? Okay. Is it gone now?
Karen Gibb (:
Mm hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah, it is funny. Yeah, yeah, I can feel it. It's like starting to loosen every, but you can feel it, total gradual. No, no.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Amazing. So there's no pressure on your shoulders right now. Okay, just breathe into that looseness and that freeness and that stillness in your shoulders.
Just through your nose this time, really slow.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
any remnant of feeling of being weighed down just with the next two breaths you're going to exhale
Anna Parker-NAples (:
remainder. So there's nothing left but freeness and peace and stillness.
naked. Come back.
Karen Gibb (:
So yeah I feel really good thank you.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
How you doing now?
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Yeah, interesting watching your body as well like your shoulders completely just went oh they just totally changed.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
It's amazing. I didn't even know those were the feelings I had. And you know, I probably did know, but not... ..in my life.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Yeah, and these are the things that as business owners, particularly when we have a level of success and our business is growing, that when we leave these things untapped or unrecognized or unremedied or unhealed, whatever your preference for speculating is, it can mean that we don't take the actions that we need to.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah, absolutely.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So tell me about then, so we started sort of saying one of your issues is not being able to make decisions. Tell me about how you feel about that right now.
Karen Gibb (:
I feel more assertive definitely and I feel it's always great to ask for help you know and I think sometimes you feel you need to know all the answers and we don't all know the answers and I'm really looking forward to the day when I can employ someone to be like the franchise business manager and then I'll be sort of able to make more choices freely in the franchise kind of above that level which is really exciting.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
No.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Yeah, good. So what are you feeling now in regards to making decisions slowly and painfully? Where do you sit with that?
Karen Gibb (:
I just, it doesn't serve me. It does not serve me, the business or the people in the business. Absolutely not.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
and how are you feeling now?
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah, I feel really light. I feel probably a bit dehydrated because I probably need to drink a lot of fluids. But I feel lighter. I feel that's probably what's important.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
And through this whole session, what would you say have been your biggest realizations?
Karen Gibb (:
I think the stemming back to childhood and then how that's been brought into my current day, I mean that just sounds ridiculous but it really is all part of how we grow up and the genetics and the experiences we have. So that was really interesting and the amount of information I could remember about that day and like seeing my classmates who I've never, probably never thought about.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
No, it's fascinating. We hold, we take into our brains over 2 million pieces of information per second, except that our brain can't actually process it. So we actually, at subconscious level, we process just over 100 pieces of information, but consciously we're only aware of seven things. So when we go into subconscious state, we are we have access to so much more information, how it felt what
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
Wow.
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
what the tension was like on our bell on our belly that day or something mine like that. Okay good. So yeah tell me about in your business as a strategic leader now about how this may change your need to please everybody.
Karen Gibb (:
Mm-hmm.
Karen Gibb (:
I think I can't people please everyone, like that's impossible to do. So it's having some grace and letting that go in my life and realizing that's not going to serve me or serve the people that I am around. If I people please all the time then actually things might not get done or strategic decisions might not be made because I don't want anyone to feel upset.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
So let's say an email comes in and you know you've got to respond to it and you don't want to offend anybody and it would normally have taken you a little while to go through that maybe you'll schedule it go back and check it again. How do you feel about that now?
Karen Gibb (:
Yeah.
Karen Gibb (:
I think just send the email is probably my biggest takeaway. You know, being mindful of not sending too many emails at once, but just send the email because I can... Yeah, you could spend forever mulling it over.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
get it done.
so much more work you've got to get done right because you've got an important machine. Good amazing well I hope that was useful for you today Karen.
Karen Gibb (:
Exactly. I'm on a mission here to change world wide, you know.
Karen Gibb (:
That was fantastic. Thank you so much. I feel brilliant.
Anna Parker-NAples (:
Amazing. All right, well take it. Take it. Actually, if you'd like to share where people can find out about your business, that would be great.
Karen Gibb (:
Absolutely, really easy. It's just mindmarvels.com and that's the same for all social media as well. So we're really easy to find. Thank you.