Have you ever felt an internal pull toward something more—even though your life looks “fine” on the outside?
In this episode, Andrew and Cat explore the quiet but powerful feeling many people experience when they’re ready for growth: the sense that the current version of yourself no longer fits. This conversation unpacks why this feeling shows up, what it actually means, and how to listen to it without burning your life down.
This episode is about identity shifts, alignment, and understanding that wanting more doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful—it means you’re evolving.
Key Topics Covered
Why feeling unsettled is often a sign of growth, not failure
The difference between wanting to escape and wanting to align
Why adults lose permission to explore new versions of themselves
How future-self awareness begins before action
Why growth can feel uncomfortable even when it’s right
How fear shows up when your identity starts to change
Why imagining a future version of yourself is meaningful
Letting go of outdated goals, habits, and identities
Why growth doesn’t require drastic life changes
Actionable Takeaways
Notice the Nudge – Pay attention to feelings of restlessness or misalignment instead of suppressing them.
Name What’s Changing – Ask yourself what no longer fits instead of what’s “wrong.”
Release the Pressure – Growth doesn’t require immediate action or dramatic decisions.
Honor Both Truths – You can be grateful for your life and still want more.
Think in Small Shifts – Identity change happens through awareness and micro-adjustments over time.
Key Quotes
“You don’t imagine a future version of yourself unless you’re meant to move toward it.”
“Wanting more doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re ready.”
“This isn’t about starting over. It’s about alignment.”
Reflection Questions
What feels outdated in my life right now?
What part of me is asking for growth or expansion?
If I trusted this calling, what might it be pointing me toward?
Glimmers of the Episode
Andrew reflects on recognizing subtle internal shifts before big changes.
Cat shares the relief that comes from realizing growth doesn’t have to be dramatic or destructive.
Continue the Journey
This episode begins the Five Year You series.
Next Episode:
Why Starting Over Feels So Scary (And What Staying Stuck Is Really Costing You)
This podcast is for informational purposes only and does not substitute professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. Some links may be affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.
Transcripts
Speaker:
High five, Tribe.
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This episode is the first in a series of episodes that we're doing about creating the next
version of yourself.
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And whenever you get called to create a new version of yourself, that's the first step.
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It's that kind of internal calling, that nudge that comes from within.
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I'm Andrew and with me is Kat, always, how you doing today, Kat?
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I'm doing really well.
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I'm happy to be recording with you today.
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Me too, I love this topic.
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This is basically everything we do.
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And I'm so happy that we're like doing a series on this and that this is just that first
step, right?
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It's that step I think so many of us have and a lot of us ignore, but it's that feeling
you can't quite explain.
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And we're gonna try to explain it right now.
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So I think this feeling for me is just that.
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You're not unhappy, but you're just, you're unsettled.
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It's just like something inside you shifted and you can't quite tell what it is.
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Does that kind of resonate with you?
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It does, it's that plus the feeling that you might want something different.
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And I think people get worried when they feel that, like, what does this mean?
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Like, I have a family, I have kids, I have this career.
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Like, I think sometimes people feel it and it instantly sparks fear in them.
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And so one thing I really wanna talk about today is that,
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This is a normal part of the human experience and it's actually what can make your life uh
richer and more interesting and that it's not something to shy away from.
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you're absolutely right with that.
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It is not something to shy away from.
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And it's actually, it's a natural part of growth.
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Emerson said, if you can observe nature and notice the patterns, you'll have a better
life.
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And I'm really butchered that paraphrasing by the way, as always, but on brand, yeah.
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But what it really is is that if you go look at a tree, right?
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A tree starts as a seed, it grows, it has its growth, its leaves and everything.
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And then,
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it naturally lays seeds for the next evolution of growth.
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And when you see yourself as not just the tree, but the ground that's producing the tree
and the next tree, you start to see yourself as, right, this is me.
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I have grown to the place where I'm shedding the seeds and I'm gonna have a new set of
growth come.
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And I've found that to be much more helpful in being able to just move through.
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these growth phases because when you get called like this, it feels weird.
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It's like everything on the outside seems fine and you're like, nothing's wrong right now,
but it feels incomplete.
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And that's because there's new doors opening for you.
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And then the new path is coming out in front of you to just give you every metaphor I can
think of all at once.
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I love that.
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You know, it kind of reminds me because our youngest just switched from ballet to
competitive swimming.
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And I swear I have a point, but what I'm, what it reminds me of is that when we're
younger, we have all of this permission to try so many different things.
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You know, the kids have been in so many different sports, so many different arts.
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you know, instructions, like so many different things.
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And somehow when we hit the adult button, we're like, no, you picked that major in college
and that means you must be in this career.
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And by the way, whatever sport you ended up with, that's your sport for life.
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I haven't been called to try a new sport yet, except Andrew said I could get a bunch of
like cute pickleball outfits if we try.
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So like I'm sort of on bread for that one, but.
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um
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But you never know, future me might.
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All that to say is that just because we became adults doesn't mean that we should stop
exploring, stop trying to reinvent ourselves.
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There's so many people who change their careers in midlife and everyone is like, wow, what
a brave step that you switched from nursing to, I don't know, entrepreneurship, whatever
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it is.
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And it's like, it should be more common because so many people get kind of.
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bored and that like is this it feeling and yet when we're kids we have all this freedom.
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That's very true.
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And it's, if we can be more childlike with that approach, I think we'd all be better off.
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I think it's important to distinguish right now that you're this calling that you have
this feeling inside of you.
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This is not craving escape.
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It's craving alignment.
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And there's a very big difference because I think most of us are like, does this mean I
have to quit my job?
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Does this mean I have to do this?
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And
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The fear takes over long before we even just acknowledge the feeling of, something needs
to shift.
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It doesn't mean you have to change everything.
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It just means you might, you just gotta acknowledge that there's a shift going on.
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Right, and I absolutely love that because I think sometimes people are very hesitant to
pursue this calling or explore this idea.
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Sometimes people are hesitant, like they're interested in coaching with us, but they
almost have this sense like if they do it, they're gonna blow up their whole life.
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And we're very big on not blowing up your life because we are conservative.
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people like financially and all these things like we're not like move to Timbuktu.
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We're not like quit your job and make $100,000 business loan.
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Like we both come from finance.
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backgrounds and this whole approach that we do and that we teach in coaching, it's called
Five Year You for a Reason.
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We give people the opportunity and the time to explore and to think and to observe what's
working and what's not and over an appropriate amount of time.
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You can make little small changes and try things and give yourself permission to fail and
see what it is that will make you feel more in alignment with your life.
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That life is about
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growth and exploration.
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You were never meant to do the same things day in and day out all the time.
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That is why people often feel stuck.
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Yeah, exactly.
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And I think that kind of becomes your identity awakening, right?
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It's that moment where you just know that there's a gap of where you are and where you
want to be.
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And with that awakening comes an awareness that, you know, it needs to shift.
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It doesn't have to completely shift.
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It just needs to start shifting.
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And that shift is small.
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I mean, we're talking about continents shifting.
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not, I don't know, grass blades being cut down.
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That's what we got.
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uh I think when we are looking at this awakening, it's just really just being honest with
yourself.
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Like, you know, something's not right right now.
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Something, there's more.
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There's more that I'm being called to right now.
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And you don't have to know anything beyond that.
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You just need to know that there's, that you're being awoken to a new calling, to a new
step, to the next step, to the next phase.
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And...
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when you have that awareness, then you can start to work on clarity, but that discomfort
that's coming inside of you, that's what that is.
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It's the awakening that's happening inside of And you and I have gone through that in the
last few years.
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We've gone through it many times in our lives.
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It's just a, it's a fun thing when you look back on it, but when you can't, when you don't
understand what's happening, it's very, it can be very scary for a new person to go
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through that.
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Yeah, and you know what?
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I want to give some examples of like an awakening and an upheaval.
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And I want to give examples of how you can sort of uh change for the benefit of your
authenticity without blowing up your life.
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For example, let's say that you've had the same friend group since junior high and you go
out and you have fun with all your friends, but you've changed.
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you're
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just tired of the gossip.
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Maybe you've been listening to a lot of self-help podcasts like this one and you want to
like improve your, you know, your mental health and, and maybe you're just craving
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something different or maybe you just like don't fit, but you kind of stay there because
these have been your friends for forever.
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um When you change into alignment, that's when you maybe
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join a book club or try something else or start being friendly with your neighbor or talk
to another mom.
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um When you're in the waiting room at dance or gymnastics or whatever it is, it's opening
yourself up to the possibility that if there's something missing inside you in this
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example, deeper, more meaningful friendships, that it's something that your mind and your
body are craving for your growth.
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It doesn't mean you have to drop all of your friends.
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Again, we are not.
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saying blow up everything but it is saying like maybe ease into something new and a lot of
people think my gosh I'm really unhappy at my job and so a lot of people think I should
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quit or I should change careers but we've worked with people and we have helped them just
set better boundaries at work so they could have had the same job for 10 years but now
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they're just being very verbal and direct.
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I am logging out at 5 p.m.
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I don't respond to emails after you know...
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5 p.m in the evening you will hear from me tomorrow and we kind of give people the courage
to stand up for themselves.
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So again not quitting jobs outright although we have talked people through these things
but finding ways to deal with discontentment so many people feel but can't explain there's
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a lot of ways to do it.
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Yeah, there is.
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there are, there are a multitude of ways that you can approach this type of thing.
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But I think the, I think you really nailed it.
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Like with the friend groups, cause I think that's where a lot of us feel it.
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And I know that's where I was at one point as well.
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And I, the reframe of this is that you don't feel called to change because you're failing.
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You feel called to change because you're ready.
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And most people don't imagine a future version of themselves.
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unless they're being called towards it.
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I'll repeat that again.
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You don't imagine a future version of yourself unless you're meant to move towards it.
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And that is a key thing.
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think when we're going through this, you might go ask your friends, because I did.
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I'm like, do you ever feel like there's more?
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And the answer, I got like blank stares.
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Nobody felt like that.
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Nope, this was it.
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And that was great for them, you know, but.
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I could just feel this calling and this shift and it needed to happen.
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And I was going on it whether I wanted to or not.
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And I wanted to go on it and I did.
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But there's a lot of us that kind of just push that down.
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like, no, I'm just gonna white knuckle through the rest of life feeling uncomfortable
that, you know, I meant for more, but I'm not doing it.
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Yeah, and look, uh one of my favorite quotes, I've mentioned this many times on the show,
it's from Chris Harder, and it's, you're never leaving people behind.
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They're always invited to join you on the journey.
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And I think people get a lot of scarcity around that, but.
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If you have this feeling and you're not getting the support from people in your life,
there are people who will support you.
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I remember very early in my business, like getting my first few clients, telling a friend
and having her be like, don't you have enough clients already?
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Like you keep telling me that.
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And I was like so excited.
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Whereas now I have friends who are like, yeah, girl, get it.
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You know, like I'll refer people to you if I...
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uh
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you know, if something comes across, that's a good fit.
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And so sometimes you are meant for something more or you feel like you want to go for a
bigger, more dynamic, richer life, but maybe your friends and loved ones and people in
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your life, they just aren't there yet.
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And that's okay.
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There's nothing wrong with either version of it, but what matters is...
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your happiness, the people you surround yourself with, and you having that empty feeling
inside, figuring out what it is, and finding a way to make life on the rock that we all
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live on more meaningful.
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It's just it.
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Sorry, I made a face when you said that you had a friend that said, don't you have enough
clients?
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I'm like, wow, what a stifling growth comment to make.
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But I think that's a really important point to address is that your growth will scare
people that aren't wanting to grow or that are too afraid to grow themselves.
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But that has nothing to do with you.
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That is them.
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That is the reflection of their life, their beliefs, their habits, and their journey.
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and you get to choose if how you wanna handle that person or if you need to handle that
person at all.
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ah I'm sorry that you went through that.
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I mean, I'm grateful, know, with all those things, you're like, I'm sorry and I'm grateful
because there's the duality of it.
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I am sorry that happened, but I know that meant that you left that friend in one capacity
or another to find more better suited friends that you have today.
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Look, I wish I could say it's the only time and I know you're very protective of me and I
love that about you.
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We're talking like over a decade ago when I first started that business but I still
remember it and you know it's so it's so interesting because you'll come across this many
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times for anyone who's ever gone on a fitness journey or a weight loss journey.
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It's always amazing like how unsupportive the people closest to you are because your
success in that area is a direct reflection of what they're not doing.
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And so, know, I've had, know, well, I'm from the deep South, so everyone just loves
talking about people's weights, you know, and no one's ever the right weight.
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They're either like starving or whatever, according to all the, you know, ladies of the
South.
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But I mean, you could be like in the best shape of your life and they'd be like, my God,
you're so skinny.
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You're just skin and bones.
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And you're like, my gosh, I'm in the best shape of my life.
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So you cannot please people who are not of the same mindset.
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But be prepared to encounter it.
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Andrew and I have been the odd ones out enough in our lives to tell you that this is going
to come up again and again and again.
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The more you are the type of person who uh loves growth, loves trying new things, is
willing to like go for it and fail a million times over, is willing to take risks, the
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pool gets smaller of people who are similar to you.
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Yeah, that's very, very true.
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And it's not just the South people do that everywhere, Catherine.
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But I get that it's a big thing.
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ah I think, let's just address this, because we've been talking around it, but you are
meant to outgrow your old goals.
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You're meant to have the milestones that you once achieved feel unfulfilling now, because
you did them.
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That is life.
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Most of us that are goal driven or we want to...
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have this journey through life where we get different mile markers.
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Once you get them, you acknowledge them, but then you set yourself on a different goal.
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Some of us are like that, other people are not.
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I had a friend in college that he's like, I just want to make $30,000 a year.
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And I was like, okay, well, and I mean, I had different sites than that.
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I'm like, why?
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He's like, you know, that's the most anybody in my family's made.
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And that's just enough for me.
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And he was happy with that.
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He's...
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set that goal, made it, and anytime he's made more than that, he's been, you know, very
grateful for it.
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But other people are like, no, I want to make more and more and more, or I want to get,
you know, I want my body to look a certain way.
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And once it looks this way, then I'm to want to change it.
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That's just growth.
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And it's a natural calling inside of a lot of us, but not all of us.
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And that's a really key thing to know.
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And the other key thing is that we all grow at different times.
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So while you might be feeling this calling and no one else around you is,
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just means you might be the first in the pack to have this moment.
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Yeah, absolutely.
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You can be the inspiration for other people and don't take this advice from us as though
we're coming from some high up place where we are just have been so into growth, you know,
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every single day for forever.
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mean, Andrew and I have been through many different phases in life cycles, what many would
call absolute rock bottom.
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And then perhaps again, rock bottom when you never thought you'd be there again.
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This is...
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the journey of life, it's to get to different phases and to see where it takes you.
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So we always say, appreciate where you are while looking towards what you want.
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Because if we're constantly trying to improve and we're never happy with where we are,
that gives discontentment.
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But what we're trying to say in this episode is that if you feel like there's something
more,
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that you should be going after.
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If you feel like there's something else to your life that you haven't discovered yet and
you just don't know what it is, that that is an important calling to acknowledge inside of
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you.
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And there is space for you to have contentment and join your life now while also kind of
opening that door to pursue figuring out what that is.
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I agree.
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So let's talk about kind of next steps because I think we're gonna get into a lot of this
in the coming episodes, I know, but I know if you're listening to this, the next thought
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is like, well, what do I do next?
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And just having the awareness that it's happening is that first step.
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It's just being truthful with yourself and you just have to be truthful with yourself and
go, look, there's a new calling.
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I don't know what it is, but I'm curious enough.
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to discover what it might be.
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And I'm just gonna lean into that curiosity.
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Again, no one's blowing up anything.
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Nobody is burning the boats or any other kind of, you know, big gesture.
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We're just acknowledging that it's there.
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That's all we're talking about.
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Yeah, so the acknowledgement is there.
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And then I want to make people aware that acknowledging that there might be something more
than the life you currently have is going to bring up tension.
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Your brain is immediately going to be like, nobody, nope, nope.
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No, thank you.
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Because our brains are wired for survival and our brains are wired for comfort.
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Right.
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And because evolutionarily, that's what we had to do.
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So now anytime your brain's like, maybe I could try this other thing, your brain, because
of biology will go, no, no, no, that is something I don't know anything about.
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And we've been good here and safe here.
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We've been paying our bills here.
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And you've just been going to the same job forever.
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And like, we're good.
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Don't go do that.
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So just know that you might feel some internal friction and it might feel bad, but that
does not mean that you shouldn't.
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have curiosity about what the next step is.
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That is a natural part of this journey.
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Yeah, exactly.
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And I think that's the key thing is that most of us are living from a past identity.
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We're going, oh, I did this yesterday, so I'm going to do this today.
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And that is how most of us go through our lives.
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We take the same route to work because that's the route we took on day one or two.
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And now that's just what we always do.
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We have our habits and our brain likes that.
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It makes us feel safe.
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But growth begins when you start to listen to your future self, not your past identity.
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And that is that awakening.
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a future self kind of just tapping on the glass going, hey, I got an adventure for us.
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And you don't need to take the first steps.
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You just need to know that that growth that's calling you, you just need to listen, give
yourself permission to listen to it.
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And maybe it just wants you to try kale for the first time so that you know you don't like
kale anymore, but give it a try.
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it.
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Clearly, Kale is not sponsoring the show.
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Okay.
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So just give yourself permission to listen to what that future version of you is doing.
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But that is where the growth is.
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And that's why it's called Five Year You is because that future you wants you to emerge.
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It is calling you.
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It is begging for you to come out.
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And we're just giving you permission to listen.
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Yeah, and if any of this resonates, it is probably your future self calling to you.
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And if you need help along the journey, that's what we're here for.
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That's what we do at Five Year You.
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If it doesn't resonate at all and you're like, ah, no, I'm good where I'm at, that's no
problem.
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There's no pressure.
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But if something in you is like, yeah, this is why I clicked on this episode and this is
what I've been feeling, then I believe you're hearing this for a reason and we'd love to
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help you.
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Yeah, when you feel called to get coaching from us, we would love to hear from you.
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We love changing people's lives for the better.
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We love showing people that they can change their life within the current context that
they are in.
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And uh it's such an honor to get to work with people and help them move forward.
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So, yeah.
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So let's just clarify a couple of things here because I know we've talked a lot about this
internal calling.
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This episode was not about reinventing yourself overnight.
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And we've said it multiple times, but we're going to say it again.
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We are not talking about burning your life down ever.
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And we're not saying you need to wake up tomorrow and become somebody completely
unrecognizable to who you are today.
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We're talking about the shift.
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We're talking about that shift that's happened inside of you and how you honor it and what
your first steps are.
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Yeah, this is all about that.
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I think you said it beautifully.
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And I wanna remind people that having the awareness usually comes before action.
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So even if you spend the next year just tinkering with this idea and processing on it and
just spending the next year being open to the possibilities of something else, that is
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growth.
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Absolutely.
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Next time we're gonna talk about why it feels so scary to do this and we're gonna talk
about too what stain put, why it's stained stuck, what it's actually costing you.
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But for right now, just listen.
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Just listen to what that calling is telling you.
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It's telling you something amazing if you're willing to hear it.
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Yeah, and look, you don't need to know exactly who you're becoming.
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You don't need to know exactly where you're going.
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You don't need to know exactly when it's gonna happen.
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Right now, all you need to do is acknowledge that the version of you that got you to this
point isn't meant to take you into the next phase.
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So right now is a point of transition for you, and that's awesome.
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Yeah.
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So I'll leave you with a couple of things you can maybe reflect on while you're listening
to your future self tap in on the glass.
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What feels outdated in my life right now?
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What part of me is asking for expansion?
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And if I was to trust this calling inside of me, what might it be pointing me towards?
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This isn't the end of you.
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This is the beginning of who you're becoming.
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And it's a beautiful thing when you allow it to grow naturally, like a tree.
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I love that.
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I think that's a great place to stop, honestly.
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Perfect ending.
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Great.
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So it's our first recording episode of the new year.
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We've had an episodes come out already, but what is your glimmer of 2026?
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my gosh, I love the new year.
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You know, it's my favorite time of year.
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My least favorite time of year is the holidays, because people get so crazy.
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But I absolutely love the new year.
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I feel like it's very on brand for us, right?
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I feel like it's this fresh start.
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It's the time to begin anew.
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I love that we reflect on things and make plans for the year.
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this is my favorite, favorite time of year.
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So that in general is my glimmer.
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What about you?
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um Yeah, the new year.
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I feel like I have just shed so much stuff in the last few months and I feel so grateful
for it.
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So my glimmer is just the fresh start of the new year and all the good things.
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I know we've talked a lot about our growth for this show and our business and everything.
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I'm just really excited to get into it the way we already have started.
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It's just amazing.
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Yeah, I'm having so much fun working on this with you and helping people.
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So I'm looking forward to the year ahead.
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Yeah, me too.
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It's gonna be great.
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:
All right, listener, thank you very much.
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And we'll see you next time when we talk about the cost of staying stuck.
